Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Abundance

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At the beginning of every yoga class our teacher asks us to pick a word or short phrase to use as the intention for the class. Last night the word that came to mind was “abundance”. Obviously this is something my higher wisdom is wanting me to spend some time with, but I am not sure what to do with the word. Do you have any suggestions on how I could incorporate this idea into my tapping?


photo by (nz)Dave

Abundance (or any specific desire, for that matter) can be a double-edged sword. It is good that we are recognizing a part of our life that we would like to see improvement, growth, and/or development in. The contrast between where we are and where we would like to be becomes the motivation for us to make the changes.

Problems can arise out of the frustration that things are not how we wish they were. We can feel overwhelmed by the perceived work it is going to take for us to move forward. We can feel saddened by the fact we have missed opportunities in the past that would have moved us closer to our goal/desire.

When we want more abundance of any type in our life, it is important that we don't get hung up on the desire to find abundance. If our primary thought is “I want abundance”, we're going to continue to create more opportunities for us to want to find abundance and we will keep ourselves in a perpetual state of longing for more.

The easiest way to find our way to abundance is to recognize all that is here already. When we notice it around us, everywhere, then we're moving from wanting abundance to allowing the abundance that surrounds us into our lives.

For me, the easiest way to understand this is in terms of grace. God's grace is not something that is doled out discriminately, but instead is surrounding every part of my life. That grace has a direct impact in my life when I have the awareness to see it. My task is not to seek it, but to see what is there. The more I notice grace, the easier it is to let it in. The more I let grace in, the easier it becomes to recognize it. Now it becomes a process that builds upon itself.

When we add tapping to this process, we are not tapping to find abundance, but to open ourselves to recognize the abundance that is already present. Tapping might look like this:

“I know there is opportunity and abundance all around me…there are opportunities for growth, development, and healing in every moment and in every place…many times I miss these opportunities and moments…I forgive myself for missing these moments…I am easy with myself for missing these moments…right now I give myself permission to know the abundance, grace, and opportunity that are saturating this moment…I give myself permission to open my eyes to these opportunities…knowing full well I don't need to capture everything at once…by opening my eyes to this for just a moment it is going to make it easier to do it again in a future moment…I recognize the grace around me right now…helping me to move to who I would like to be…in all parts of my life…Right now I know I am surrounded by abundance….I am surrounded by grace…I am surrounded by opportunity…Even if I miss it right now…It will all be present in the next moment…and the next moment…and the next moment…I will see what is in this moment…not needing to find it…all that I need is already here…even if I can't see it right now…bit by bit I open myself to seeing this.”

Pod #16: EFT and the Brain w/ Robert Kendall

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In this episode we discuss how tapping affects the brain and the biochemistry of the body, and how this in turn affects the way new cells are produced. It is one thing to know that it is possible for us to tap and find relief, but it something completely different to understand what is going on inside the body. This understanding allows us to do two things: first, it can help us to tailor our tapping effectively in order to get the most out of the tapping session. Second, it helps us to understand the way the body changes so we can more clearly track our progress and maintain realistic expectations of how the healing process will unfold.

Guest: Robert Kendall

Contact Info: web @ HeavenEarthHealing.com, phone @ +61 5522 0411, e-mail @ contact (at) heavenearthhealing (dot) com, newsletter @ sign up

About Robert: Robert is a Acupuncturist, Herbalist and Educational Kinesiologist with over 27 years of experience, encompassing areas as Traditional Chinese Medicine, Medical Herbalism, Kinesiology and Superlearning. 
For over 36 years he has studied many aspects of the mind and body through the philosophies of Yoga, Zen Buddhism, Taoism, Christianity and Western Psychology.

Robert has taught seminars in the UK and Australia on Accelerated Learning, Creativity, Prosperity, Healing, Tai Chi Chuan and Self Development. 
He has been a Lecturer in the Acupuncture Faculty of the Australian College of Natural Medicine.

Links and Resources from Episode:

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Can I Tap In Something Bad?

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I have a very important decision to make. When I consider one of the options I have a very strong emotional reaction. I am not sure if this is my higher-self warning me about making the choice or if it is a limiting belief that I shouldn't heed. I am worried that I am going to tap away my higher wisdom and make a bad choice. How do I know if I should use EFT/Tapping on this issue?

photo by Orin Zebest

This is a great question. I am often asked if we can tap something useful away or something harmful in. The great news is we can't.

When we are using EFT/tapping we are not tapping something in or tapping something out. We are bringing the system back into balance. This being true, we can't do damage by tapping.

For example, if I have a very strong fear of tigers I can tap to get to the point where I can watch a tiger on TV and no longer get scared. But if I tapped non-stop for the next ten years I would never clear the fear I would feel if I was three feet from a tiger that was growling at me.

In this case balance exists between a natural fear that serves to keep me safe, and an excessive reaction to something that is not a real threat.

The emotions experienced by the questioner above are very useful to him. They could be the higher-self giving very important information or they could be arising from a limiting belief that is not accurate. If he takes the time to tune into these emotions and tap on them, he will achieve one of two possible results: either he will clear a limiting belief, making it easier for him to access a better choice on the matter; or he will be getting more information from his higher self, which will further clarify what is in his best interest.

Regardless of what the root is, by taking the time to tap, we are going are going to much clearer about our decisions.

Also, as a side note, I think it is important to point out that if we are receiving information from our higher-self and it has an emotional charge to it, then we are not congruent with that information. When we are congruent with the information from our higher-self, we see it as truth.

You want me to think about what?!?

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photo by wsilver

As I write this it is a crisp morning here in Baltimore, Maryland.

My neighborhood is abuzz during the day with the return of the university students for the fall semester.

Just last week I put my air conditioning unit into storage.

I hate to bring this up…

Summer has come and gone.

It seems like just yesterday spring showers were bringing May flowers.

I don’t know why, but it seems that as each day passes, time appears to speed up.

Which can mean only one thing.

You know it is coming…

…even though it feels like it is a long ways away.

The holidays will be here before we know it.

I know! It’s nuts to even think of that.

This is a wonderful thing.
The holidays are a time of family and friends… a time to connect with loved ones. A time to head home and to open our homes.

Just this week I started working on my flights home for the holidays.

But the holidays are also a time of stress. (Yeah, I know. It's a shocker to think spending time with family can be stressful.)

It's a time for holiday parties with wonderful holiday dishes (and eating way too much).

The next thing we know it’s January 1st and we have put on a few extra holiday pounds.

We are faced once again with adding weight loss to our list of New Year’s Resolutions.

What if you didn't have to add “weight loss” to your list of New Year's Resolutions this January?


photo by Christopher Chan

There is a much easier solution.

Instead of fighting against the backsliding you ..and I.. do during the holiday season, take control of the situation now.

What's coming is not a surprise. There are going to be lots of parties and there is going to be holiday stress.

Since you know it's coming, now is the prefect time to do something about it.

Stop it before it starts!

Special Pre-Holiday Program
In gearing up for this holiday season I have created a special five-session program to help you deal with stress and weight gain, taking you right through to the first of the year.

It's my version of a preemptive strike.

Not only will it help you handle the holidays better, but it will also put you on the road to getting the body you will love.

This program is not a teleclass, with lots of other people on the line. Instead, this is five one-on-one sessions where we will deal directly with where you are in relationship to your body and your diet.

We will do a session every two or three weeks to make sure we are not just doing a quick fix, but are making long term changes.

Here is just some of what will happen in these five sessions.

  • We will discover the reasons that you emotionally eat and clear those emotional blocks
  • I will teach you kill craving in under two minutes
  • I will teach you a technique that you can use in under two minutes a day to return your metabolism back to functioning optimally.
  • I will teach you what to do before you are tempted so you are not fighting off major cravings.
  • I will teach you how stress is related to mindless eating how you can combat that in just a few minutes a day.
  • We will clean up the core issues that are causing you to mindlessly eat.

This stuff works!
Here is what some of the people who did the program is the past have said

“Still haven't eaten sweets since our last session!!! Thank you a million.” This was referring to a session 4 months earlier.

Here are two e-mails from the same person that came 24 hours apart:

“It worked! I went to two dinner parties last night and both had fresh warm rolls, and I only had one at each, and it wasn't hard to resist AT ALL! And they didn't taste as good as usual. I'm so excited!”

“I was wrapping gifts today and adding four of my favorite candies to the bags and only had two pieces, and they weren't that good, even though we only did a tiny bit of tapping on that. And I swear my jeans are fitting quite a bit looser.”

ALSO, I am going to record each of the sessions for you, so you can go back and listen to the tapping sessions again and again.

Special Deal
I am offering this special ‘Prepare for the Holidays' program for only $298.

That is $127 (or 30%) off the full price for these five sessions.

(OR if you prefer, you can make three monthly payments of $119)

But That's Not All
In addition to the sessions (and the recordings of the sessions) I am going to give you 6 free bonuses.

Bonus #1: “34 EFT/Tapping Scripts that Help You Shed Weight and Love Your Body” ebook

    This script book contains 34 EFT scripts to help you lose weight. It is just like having an EFT practitioner on your bookshelf that you have access to twenty-four hours a day. (Value $49.95)

Bonus #2: “It's weight release, not weight loss” audio

    Medical Intuitive Catherine Poole shares in this exclusive interview her experience of the metaphysics of weight. As Catherine says, “When we lose something, we can find it again. The process of getting the body we love is about healing and release. It has nothing to do with loss. It has everything to do with the healing we gain.” (Value $14.95)

Bonus #3: Holiday Stress Tap Along Audios

    I have created two very special pre-holiday tap-along audios. One is for November and the other is for December. They deal with the issues of extra food, holiday parties, the financial worries the holidays can bring, and stress that comes with spending time with family. These are built specifically to help you to preemptively deal with the stress of the holiday season. You can listen to them again and again. (Value $27.42)

Bonus #4: “25 EFT/Tapping Scripts to Manage Holiday Stress” ebook

    This ebook contains 25 EFT scripts that you can use anytime anywhere. Again, it is just like having an EFT practitioner on your bookshelf, one that you can access twenty-four hours a day. (Value $39.95)

Bonus #5: “Spa of the Mind”

    This is one of my favorite and best selling audios. In this guided imagery session you are led through a process of letting go of the emotional blocks that are preventing you from healing. You just need to sit back, listen, and feel the blocks to your healing melt away. (Value $13.71)

Bonus #6: Share the gift of EFT with someone else

    Imagine you are at a holiday party with friends and family. You hear the comments, “You look great.” “I am amazed at your will power around all these sweets.” “How do you do it?” You can keep it a secret, telling them it's just will power, or you can tell them about the power of EFT. For one of those lucky loved ones in your life you can give them the chance to experience EFT with a professional. When you join this program you will receive one free EFT session to give to anyone in your life. (Value $85)

That is $230.98 in free bonuses alone. It is just like getting 5 EFT sessions for under $70 (less than $15 a session).

100% Money Back Guarantee
I know (because I have seen it in the lives of my clients) that EFT/tapping is a very powerful tool in helping you to make better choices about what and when you eat, helping to motivate you to exercise, and clearing the emotional blocks that are preventing your body from releasing the extra weight.

If, after two sessions, you are not satisfied that you are well on your way towards gaining the body you love I will refund your money in full.

AND, you keep the audio and script book bonus as my gift to you.

There are only 5 spots
My fall is very full with travel, teaching, and working with clients. For that reason I am only going to take on five clients for this comprehensive program. Don’t miss out.

Remember, this is your chance to take control before the holiday season even starts.

This is your opportunity to regain control of your body and be health for the holiday season 2009. Don’t miss it.

Sign up now!

This is your opportunity to regain control of your body and be health for the holiday season 2009. Don't miss it.

Blessings,

Gene

PS: Image what is it going to feel like knowing that you don’t need to make weight loss a New Year’s Resolution…. because you will already be well on your way to having the body you love.

PPS:Still not convinced it works? Here is what others have said about working with me.

“I’ve worked with Gene about a half a dozen times and after each session the issue at hand was dissolved and never came back up. I was, in my mind, addicted to bread, especially rolls of any type. After only one session the insatiable craving and uncontrollable behavior around rolls completely went away. I also had a session where cookies were an issue. I would eat sometimes eight at a time without even being aware of what I was doing. I don’t even think about cookies anymore and when I see them I notice them, but there’s no physiological or emotional response at all and I pass them up. I had a session about money issues, never having enough and spending it without even knowing where it went. Since that one session, I’ve had a surplus of money at month’s end, which NEVER happened to me before. EFT is a fantastic tool. However, I’ve never gotten the results working on my own that I get when I work with Gene, and he’s incredibly generous.” – Angie, CA

“I arranged to have three sessions in three weeks. We were able to move thru many major issues quickly, effectively, painlessly and thoroughly providing great relief for me. I thought they would be long, sticky, highly charged sessions and take forever to make any headway and boy was I pleasantly surprised. This is indeed a man who is very able to navigate any issue without unnecessary drama very, very effectively. I highly recommend that you give yourself in trust to this wizard!” – Fran, CA

“Having an EFT session with Gene Monterastelli is truly a healing experience. I have been using EFT on an issue for quite a while now with little or no progress. Luckily I stumbled upon Gene’s EFT website and decided to have an EFT phone session with him. All I can say is that Gene’s hugely intuitive and wonderfully creative style in using EFT helped me enormously in one phone session. His ability to lead me to view and visualize my problems in a way I would never have thought of was refreshingly uplifting and of great benefit to me. So I would really recommend giving Gene a call and arranging an EFT session with him over the phone. ” – Niall, Ireland

“My wife and I have been using EFT for several years now and have found it remarkably easy to use and very effective. We’ve shown other people it too but having a session with Gene was quite a mind and spirit opener! We are very impressed and grateful to him for his clarity, focus, non-judgment, effectiveness and professionalism. Thank you Gene.” – Harold (and Barbara), France.

“I found my phone session with Gene to be very flowing and intuitive. I felt we were very quickly on the same page although we had never spoken before. He has an upbeat but relaxed style and seamlessly works in visualizations which really helped me reconnect with my body and view differently the symptoms I have been experiencing. He is very professional and has a gentle but confident manner which keeps the session constantly moving along. I would recommend him without hesitation!” – Molly, Ireland

“Having tried a few sessions with different people I wasn’t sure of what to expect as each had a different style. Having then had a session with Gene, it was simply amazing as he listened to what I said, and understood what I was trying to articulate and then knew exactly how to incorporate it in the session seamlessly and it was amazingly easy. As we went thru the process he helped identify and break down my belief system so that I could understand it and acknowledge it as well. I highly recommend Gene!”- Nadiya Canada

“I was convinced to try EFT because of Gene’s confidence that it would help and because the changes he’d made in his own life with EFT were visible even given the very limited time and circumstances in which I’d known him. The basics of EFT are easy to learn and implement but I have been incredibly blessed to be taught and guided by someone truly gifted. Initially we worked on my fear of talking on the phone. The fact that our sessions required the use of the phone is, alone a testament to Gene’s abilities! He is insightful, accepting and amazingly patient. Gene seems to understand me even when I don’t think I’ve expressed myself very well. His explanations are clear and his stories and analogies enhance my understanding. Talking with Gene is easier than talking to anyone else I know because I can speak with out fear of judgment and know that he will respond honestly. Learning EFT with Gene has given me the ability to do everything from gracefully surviving a really tough day to addressing and working through issues that have been hindering me my whole life.” – Cindy, MI

Sign up now!

Using Music From The Past To Clear The Past

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photo by Kevin Lawver

One of the most powerful tools I have added to my skill set from my hypnosis and NLP training is the understanding of anchors. In an over-simplified sense an anchor is really nothing more than the fact that one thing reminds you of something else, very similar to Pavlov's classical conditioning.

For example, the smell of just-baked bread can remind you of your grandmother's kitchen. Freshly cut grass might remind you of the playground when you were a child. Some anchors are stronger than others and they are not always positive. A sharp thumping sound could remind you of an auto accident you were in years ago, making you feel very tense right now.

The most common way anchoring is used in change work is to create one around something that is experienced throughout the day that will now remind us of something positive. For example, in a hypnosis session the suggestion would be set up that every time you see the color red you will think, “I am now a nonsmoker and will be a nonsmoker for the rest of my life.”

We can also use anchors another way: i.e. using ones that already exist to find our way to the roots of our issues and beliefs.

We are constantly creating powerful anchors with the music we listen to. This is particularly true with pop music. Most music is associated with a certain time because we hear it over and over while it's popular.

Depending on your age when you first heard The New Kids on The Block, The Bee Gees, The Doors, or The Beatles, you are immediately transported to a very specific time and place when you hear them again. (It's very possible that it just happened even as you read this list.)

These anchors are most powerful between the ages of 11-18, partly because these years are obviously very formative, and also just because of the sheer amount of music most of us listen to when we're younger.

Developmentally we are moving from dependence to independence during those years, and starting to create our identities as individuals. In the socially dangerous waters of middle and high schools it's very easy to have intense experiences that will create roots for many of the issues and beliefs we hold today.

Music that we are paying attention to, memorizing the words and melodies of, is playing almost constantly in the background at the same time that we are navigating through the often difficult and confusing experiences of becoming an adult. All of these emotions, thoughts, and beliefs get firmly anchored to these songs. Now we can use these anchors to our advantage.

Because we need to ‘tune' into an issue first in order to most effectively tap on it, this imbedded music is a perfect and ready-made path straight into the heart of the matter.

Recently some issues have surfaced in my own life. As I tuned in to my feelings I asked this question: “What do these emotions remind me of?” The answer was very clear: being fifteen years old. So I turned to the music I heard the most back then.

I created a playlist, loaded it onto my mp3 player and listened to it while taking my evening walk. My mind was flooded with memories; many of them good, others not so pleasurable.

I tapped while walking, but I didn't dwell long on any one issue or thought; I just let them come and go with the music. By the time I got home I was much more at peace about what was going in my life right now.

I encourage to you to play with this idea. Find some meaningful music from your past or even your here-and-now. Listen to it and tap away.

Pain After Tapping

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When I do tapping/EFT I normally tap for thirty minutes (or more). Many times I have noticed that with in the next 24 hours gets very sore, from the top of my head to my tailbone. This is muscle pain and it feels something like lactic acid when you work your muscles too hard and they become inflamed. Do you have any idea what is causing this and how it can be avoided in future?

photo by Martin Kingsley

IMPORTANT: It is very important that you are taking total responsibility for your own wellbeing. EFT and tapping can be very powerful tool, but they are not the end-all-be-all when it comes to taking care of your self. If something is causing your pain stop it. Consult your primary care physician before you continue.

To be honest, this is the first time I have heard of these specific symptoms after a tapping session. But that is not to say that these sensations aren't a side effect of the tapping. The fact that you are having a physical symptom consistently after the fact might very well be related to the tapping.

Here are few things you might consider trying that might provide some relief.

1) Shorten Your Tapping Session
I often use the comparison of physical exercise when talking about our tapping practice. Just because running 1 mile is good for us doesn't mean that running 50 miles is better. The body might be reacting with physical pain because of the amount of work that is being done.

Tap for a shorter period of time might make difference. This sometimes can be a hard choice to make. We want progress to happen now and so we feel we must do as much as we can right now. But, if the rate of progress is causing physical symptoms then we do well to heed what the body is telling us.

2) Clearing Limiting Beliefs About Healing
It is possible that we believe that healing and progress is something that needs to be painful. The old adage, “No pain, no gain” can run very deep in our consciousness.  If the body thinks progress must be painful then it might create pain to justify the progress.

I know this notion might seem silly on the surface, but our bodies are very literal. They are going to respond directly to the beliefs we have. If you feel this might be something you are experiencing you could tap with something like this:

“It is okay for me to progress without pain…it is okay for me to heal without pain…sometime progress comes with work and pain…while other times it is a much easier task…I know my body can heal in a way that is gentle and easy…I let my body and system know that release can come without pain…I let me body know that I can heal without feeling pain…health and well-being is my bodies natural state…I allow it to gently move to this place.”

3) Tap For The Symptoms Preemptively
This is true for all issues. If we know something might be coming it is a good idea to tap for it ahead of time. This is true for both physical symptoms and emotional issues.

In the example of this question at the end of the tapping session we would tune into the physical feelings we felt in the past and preemptively tap for those sensation.

“In the past it has hurt after I have tapped…the pain lasted for a couple days…I tune into that pain right now…know that my body can heal and release this pain…the pain is a signal of something the body is trying to tell me…I let it know I want to know what that signal is…it can get my attention without so much pain…”

4) Take Care Of Your Self After The Session
There are a number things you can do after a session to help the healing process and to take of your self. I covered many of these ideas in “After A Powerful Session”

Bonus Pod #2: How A Parent Can Tap For Their Child

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photo by photosavvy

I am asked all the time by parents about how they can surrogately tap for their children. There is a great deal of confusion around what to say and what to focus on.

Like all things with tapping the key is not in the words you use but where you place your focus. In this podcast I share with you a real tapping session in which I worked with a parent who they wanted to tap for their child's struggle with and hatred of math.

In this pod you will only hear my voice. I have edited out the parent’s voice. I was also given permission by the parent to share this audio with you.

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Want more info on surrogate tapping?

Not Knowing Where To Begin/A Good Way To Start

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photo by Let Ideas Compete

Recently I have been working with a number first time clients. Many of them are very experienced with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) and have come to work with me because they are dealing with something that is much larger than the normal day to day issues they use tapping for.

Even when I receive detailed information before the session I like to start by asking them what they would like work on. As they share what is going on in their life there is often a whole list of emotions based on the single circumstance for which they are seeking guidance.

As they share the details of what is going on I quickly make notes. When they are done I will state back everything they have shared to make sure we are on the same page. “It sounds like you are struggling with…”

We know that tapping is most effective the more specific we are, but it can be difficult to be specific when there are so many emotions all at once. It is hard to tell where the frustration starts and anger ends.

In these cases I have started using something I call “Clearing The Deck”.

All of the emotions we feel are nothing more than information. These emotions are letting us know that something in our life is not congruent with our truth or that there is something we need to look out for. Many times the system continues to hold these emotions we beyond the usefulness of this signal.

The process of clearing the deck allows us to release these emotions to see our way clear to the deeper roots of what is going on. It allows the body to hold onto the excess emotion that many times we aren't even aware we are carrying. The simple release of all this excess lightens our mood, relaxes the body, and helps us to see ourselves more clearly.

It is a great way to start session or a great way to end the day.

Listen for free:

Download for the discounted price of $5.95

 Download for the price your choice. (Yes, you choose the price. Could be $1, could be $100,000)

 Pay full price of $13.77 in the on-line store. (And I don't know why you would do something silly like that.)

Living Up To My Calling

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photo by pensiero

One of the things I find so enjoyable about my work is the type of clients I get to work with. Many of them are motivated to become, for lack of a better description, their ‘higher self'. Based on their background and belief system they may use many different terms and phrases to describe this desire, but the core desire is basically the same. Many of them use the term “calling” for this, believing that there is something higher compelling them to live in this way.

Often my clients find themselves struggling because they feel they are falling short of their goal, or because they believe they don't understand what their true calling is.

It's very common to be quite hard on one's self for falling short. I have observed with many clients that the way they beat themselves up is often far harsher than the failings they are beating themselves up for. It's so easy for us to believe that because we can see the vision of our higher selves that we must become our higher selves right now.

This is not the case. Whatever our motivations, we need to understand that there is a process we need to go through to reach this vision.

This is a struggle I have experienced in my own life: wondering if I am living to become all that I can and wondering if I am even clearly seeing this vision of all that I can be. When I bump into this I am brought back to the words of Thomas Merton. I have found them very useful to pray and to tap to.

Try tapping along:

“My Lord God. I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are always with me, and you will never leave me to face perils alone.” – Thomas Merton [How to use these phrases]

Struggling To Get Tapping/EFT To Work

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I know Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT/EvEFT) and tapping works, but for some reason there are a few issues that I can't seem to make any progress with at all. Do you have any advice for jump-starting progress on a stubborn issue?


photo by ittichai

This is a very common experience. When we bump into an issue we aren’t making any progress with it is very easy to get frustrated and to lose faith in tapping.

There are a number of reasons why you might be struggling with success with tapping. Here are few of the most common:

1) Not being specific enough.
This is the most fundamental reason that we stop seeing progress with our tapping. We can only be successful with the issues we are able to bring into our thought field while tapping. There are two basic ways we can approach this:

First, we can use different ways to tune into the problem. Most people run into this problem when they are struggling to find the “right words” to tap to. We can also tune into issues by using imagery, tuning into how the body kinesthetically feels, or seeing what the issue reminds us of. Here is a list of a number of different ways you can tune in if you are having trouble being specific enough.

Second, sometimes the reason we can't get specific is that we are too close to the situation, issue, or emotion. Because we are so close to what is going on it's hard to separate the facts from the way we are interpreting them. A good idea to get some outside feedback. This doesn't mean you need to look to someone to solve your problems, but the outside point view can be very helpful.

Most of the clients I work with are very good at tapping and do it regularly on their own. They come to me because I am trained to help them see things differently and/or I can cut more quickly to the root of the issue precisely because I'm not involved in it.

2) Psychological Reversal
It is possible the body isn't in a state that will allow healing. When most of us received our basic tapping training we were introduced to this idea. (Unfamiliar with the term? Psychological Reversal read more…) There are many types of reversal, not jut PR. This is not my area of expertise, but if you are looking for some great introductory information on the different types of reversal and how to deal with them, check out the many on-line videos.

3) Resistance To Change
Even though we consciously want to make a change there is a part of our system that doesn't think it is safe, reasonable, or helpful to do this. There must be some resistance, because if there weren't, you would have already made the change. You can find a list of articles on the different types of resistance and how to get past them below; many include tapping phrases or tap-along audios.

4) The system is not ready to heal or it has healed as much as it can for this session.
As much as we would like our system and issues to heal in an instant, there are times when too much change too fast can be an unhealthy experience.

Take weight release as an example. It would be great to shed forty-five pounds overnight, but that would be much too hard on the body. Rapid weight release might seem like a good idea, but there is a speed of releasing the weight that is healthiest for the body.

The release of emotional issues is no different. Often it is very possible to completely release an issue in one tapping session. Other times, because of the magnitude of the change, it is better for the system to heal the emotional wound in stages.

When you are working on an issue and you feel like you have plateaued in your progress, I have found it very helpful to tap on:

I thank my body for its ability to heal…I am thankful for this time to work on myself…it is possible for me to get frustrated because I am not making progess as fast as I would like…sometimes I even feel like I am not getting anywhere at all…I give my body permission to know that I want it to heal at a rate that is safe and healthy…so that the changes that I am making are long lasting…and for my highest good…I would love to make more progress now…I would love to have more information now…I would love to know what else I could do now…but I know my body has wisdom that will help me to move forward…and it will make me aware of what I need to do in due time…I give the body permission to know it can be at ease as we work through this…I give my body permission to know that this not the last time I am going to ask it for information…this is not the last time I am going to spend time working with it…if this is all the healing that can be done in this tapping session…then so be it…I will continue this work when the body is ready. [How to use these phrases]

When we tap like this there are two possible outcomes. First, the system will open up and give us new information to work with. Second, we will be at peace with the progress we have made, making it possible for us to come back to tapping in the future with hope and enthusiasm.

Remember, every round of tapping is useful and successful regardless of the outcome. What we can learn from each round of tapping

Pod #15: Tapping for Financial Success w/ AnaMaria Herrera

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In this day and age financial success seems to be on everyone's mind. For those of us who have been doing change work we know there is much more to this than just the money in our bank account. We need to understand our own issues around money and success as well as have a clear vision of what success looks like. In this podcast EFT practitioner AnaMaria Herrera shares a few of the common mistakes people make when tapping for financial success as well as giving a number of tips on how to get to the root cause of our limiting beliefs around money.


AnaMaria Herrera

AnaMaria Herrera is a Santa Barbara, California based EFT practitioner. She specializes in teaching practitioners in how to help their clients find their core issues and business owners of all types grow their business and practices.

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Pod #14: Tapping for Animals w/ Susanne Peach

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Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping is not only a powerful tool in transforming our own lives, but we can use it to care for our loved ones. This is not limited to just humans, but we can extend this love and care through tapping to our animals as well. In this episode I talk with Susanne Peach about how tapping for animals is similar and different to surrogately tapping for humans. Susan give a number of very practical tips in how you can start tapping right way for your animals.


Susanne Peach

Guest: Susanne Peach

Susanne's Contact Info: web @ Animaleze.com, phone @ 303.926.5414, e-mail @ contact page

About Susanne: Susanne Peach, Animal Energy Behaviorist, has been surrounded by animals her entire life. She has had the opportunity to study the energy of animals in many instances, from time spent on her godmother's farm in Germany to a designation as a certified wildlife rehabilitator. After successfully using EFT on humans, she learned by trial and error how to apply it to animals. She's dedicated her life to helping animals have emotionally happy and healthy lives, tapping for animals all over the world.

Links & Resrouces From Episode:

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

What more info on surrogate tapping:

Fertility Issues

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My husband and I are having trouble conceiving a child. Can tapping help?

photo by Aldo Risolvo

There are few things more heart breaking than working with clients who want to grow their families, but are having a hard time doing it. Even with infertility medicine there are still many couples that have trouble conceiving. In this article UK based Sejual Shah talks about some on the non-medical reasons that can make conceiving difficult as well as advice on how to approach some of these with tapping (EvEFT/EFT).

[Sejual Shah is a Hertfordshire, UK base practitioner. She works in person, by phone, and webcam with clients on over 4 continents. She loves seeing the joy her work brings to her clients. She can be contacted @ healthyinmind.com]

Wanting to conceive a baby is a natural part of our growth and development as humans. However, many find starting their families difficult. Using controlled practices such as timing intercourse to ovulation can lead to a lot of stress for both parents and conceiving even the first baby becomes a nightmare instead of the anticipated joy.

Pregnancies attempted late in life are perceived in the medical field as difficult since a woman’s fertility declines heavily after her mid-30s. What many Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) practitioners, myself included, are finding is that these and other problems can be neutralised with tapping to enable a healthy conception leading all the way to realising that cherished birth of innocent joy.

The support I give is of help to both people in the relationship. Men’s stress levels and worries about conceiving are equally important as the problems a woman experiences as both parents need to be healthy to create a baby.

Common Problems with Fertility
The most common problems I encounter in my practice and have success in helping with EFT are:

  • Unresolved grief about earlier miscarriages, stillbirths and traumatic loss of loved ones
  • High stress levels
  • Residual post-natal depression
  • Previous problematic births
  • Couple problems – relationship and communication issues.

This article will deal with the first two.

Unresolved Grief
Conceiving a child is an act of joy. When we are harbouring a deep-seated grief it is too far removed for the joy and happiness to come in. It is like the two sets of emotions are incompatible and as the grief has been there longer it stops the new possibilities from coming in.

This grief comes in so many shapes and forms. “Heather” was 44 and was still waiting to conceive her first child. She felt the pressure of not being able to, conceive. She had tried natural approaches and IVF, but nothing was working. When we talked about her personal history it quickly became evident that she’d never finished grieving over the loss of her beloved mother ten years before. She still had her mother’s ashes in a cupboard in the bedroom.

Very gently we tapped away the grief. We created emotional space so Heather could express all the things she never got to tell her mum before she passed away. Over several sessions Heather went through a gentle clearing process to lastingly let go of the grief. With this approach she was able to create mental space within herself to bring in new life. Four months ago she gave birth to a healthy set of twins that have brought countless joy and new opportunities for growth in her life.

Lasting grief often accompanies pregnancies lost before the baby reaches full term. One client shared, “I miscarried at ten weeks. The doctors just said it happens to everyone and that I should get over it”. Yet, in those ten precious weeks that same woman was already connecting from the heart with this longed-for baby. While it may have been as tiny as a beetle, that baby was still real and alive for her. If we can’t grieve properly over what could have been, then it’s difficult for us to make way for what we wish to realise.

It’s equally important to clear that grief over stillbirths, or other upsetting losses like losing a sibling when they were young.

High stress levels
Stress can be a huge barrier to conceiving. Stress can come from high-pressured jobs, draining situations in our lives, and feeling that we must be perfect at everything we do.

Some of the women who come to me for help have very full active lives. They feel empowered by their successes – and they have every right to – but nobody has yet taught them how they can release the accompanying stress that constantly builds up. Keeping up their work successes turns sour – they’ve fought for their career progression but now it is cruelly taking away a cherished goal.

In this situation, I help them address their work stress so that instead of constantly fire-fighting, their bodies can relax and get on with conceiving.

“Diane” came from a background where her parents were proud of her high-flying achievements. She had gone further than her brothers and sisters in her studies and was a well-paid executive. That hard work attitude had helped her create huge success, but hard work didn’t pay off when it came to conceiving. She and her husband had been trying for years and wondered if the time had come to give up. But it wasn’t in her nature to quit – hadn’t she fought for each promotion?

Initially she came to see me for help in moving up the next rung of the ladder up to the boardroom. She saw the glass ceiling and was determined to crack it.

Diane and I worked to help her relax in these work situations and so have more energy to put into her work. She learned to thrive without high levels of stress in her demanding role by using EFT in sessions with me, and then learning how to do basic structured tapping exercises outside of our work. Her body realised she didn’t need to feel stressed all the time.

In that process of releasing the stress she conceived naturally and used our work to help her manage her still hectic schedule with the demands the growing baby was making on her physically, so that she could still nurture the foetus. Her baby son was born bouncingly healthy one year ago. With the work we had already done she was able to devise a healthy strategy for balancing her return to her career while enjoying motherhood in a balanced way.

EFT as a stress management tool can also support a man experiencing problems with sperm health as a result of a pressurized life-style.

Conclusion
There is a very complicated connection between our physical and emotional health. Many times the emotions we are carrying prevent the body from fulfilling its potential. By doing work on these core emotional issues we can see transformation in our physical health.

[Note From Gene: Recently I had the opportunity to interview Dene Ballantine about the grief some people feel after being part of an abortion decision. You can hear that interview in Pod #10]

Pod #13: Solution Focused Brief Therapy w/ Rod Sherwin

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One of the most common questions I get about tapping (EvEFT/EFT) is “What do I do when I don't know what memories from the past are effecting my behavior or emotions today?” In this interview I talk to Rod Sherwin about a very cool protocol call Solution Focused Brief Therapy. In this protocol you don't have to worry about why you are the way you are, but instead it focuses on how to move to what you want. Personally, I find this to be a great approach because even when I don't know why things are the way they are I am going to know where I want to be or who I want to be. In this interview Rod lays out the basic steps of SFBT that can easily be added to any tapping routine.


Rod SherwinGuest: Rod Sherwin

Rod's Contact Info: web @ tap4health.com, e-mail @ rod@tap4health.com, phone @ +61 3 9650 0250, twitter @ rodsherwin; facebook @ facebook.com/Tap4Health; youtube youtube.com/rodsherwin; google+ Tap4Health

About Rod: Rod Sherwin, known as “the tapping man”, is an Energy Therapist from Melbourne, Australia. Rod runs the Tap4Health EFT Practice and works with clients all over the world on issues such as stress, anxiety, trauma, abuse, anger management, depression, weight loss, public speaking and presenting. Rod's approach is an unconventional and original combination of genuine warmth, respect, intuition, and skill.

Rod's primary tool is the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) which he combines with his experience in Energy Medicine, Solutions-Focus Brief Therapy, 6-Human Needs Psychology, and Neuro-Associative Conditioning. Rod's original qualifications are in Computer System Engineering and Computer Science which gives him a very grounded and practical aproach that focuses on getting real results.

Rod loves spreading the word about EFT and speaks to groups, small and large, including community groups, social groups, and corporates.Rod has lived in Melbourne for since 2005 and, while he enjoys the city life, he is originally from a small country town in North Queensland called Charters Towers.

Links & Resrouces From Episode:

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Tapping For Poker

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photo by Christian Fortier
Some people aren’t comfortable with the idea of gambling, but my experience working with a professional poker player demonstrated how our emotions can override our logic, how this can be disastrous, and how easy it is to use tapping (EvEFT/EFT) to make changes.

There are types of gambling that are pure chance such as the lottery or slot machines. These games require no skill. The only choice the player makes is whether or not to play. With each play there is a statistical chance of winning and losing.

Poker is different from games of chance. There is a component of chance involved in the cards that you are dealt, but poker players make a number of choices on how to play their cards. A good poker player considers the playing patterns of his opponents as well as how the other players at the table think he plays. All of this is in addition to the cards he has been dealt. Because of this, it is much less about the cards that have been dealt and much more about how the cards are played. For this reason poker is not a game of chance, but a game of skill with chance elements.

Because there is an element of chance in poker, a player can run good or bad in a short period of time, (a small sample set of hands) based on the cards he/she is dealt, but over the long run a player’s skill is going to show. The more hands that are played, the more likely it is that the better player is going to be a winner overall.

Professional poker players understand this. They don’t think in terms of winning one hand, or of being a winner over one session of hands, they think in terms of their average over time. Very good players will know this right down to an average hourly wage. For example, a particular player might know that if she/he is playing in a game that has a minimum bet of $2, they will make forty dollars an hour – in the long run – because of his/her skill level.

A comparable example would be investing in the stock market. Stocks and markets move up and down each day, but over a long period of time they have trends. A good investor knows the longer he is in a certain investment, the more likely his long-term return is going to match the trend.

The way a poker player is able to combat this variance (up and down swings), is by playing as many hands as possible. The more hands they play, the more they are going to insulate themselves from up and down swings. With the advent of internet poker, players are able to play many games at the exact same time by opening multiple computer windows. To combat this variance some players are known to play as many as one hundred hands an hour… in six games at once… for stretches of ten or twelve hours straight. That’s as many as six thousand hands in one stretch!

You can imagine the amount of concentration it takes to do this. Not only is a player constantly recalculating the different statistical outcomes of a hand based on each new card, they are also having to keep track of the play tendencies of the eight other players involved in each hand.

As play unfolds it is possible for players to get very emotional. It is possible to lose a hand that you had a 90% chance of winning, causing great anger. It is also possible to win a hand you were a significant underdog in, causing great joy. Both of these circumstances can be very dangerous. When a player becomes too emotional (regardless of which emotions) he/she can start making poor decisions. In poker terms this is called going on ‘tilt’.

When a player is on tilt they are not paying attention to all of the factors they normally pay attention to. They begin to play very poorly, and they can lose all of the money they had won over a number of hours (or days) of play, in one or two hands.

Recently a professional poker player, “John”, who was having a major problem with his game, approached me. John plays six to eight hours a day, five days a week, and poker is his full time income. John understands how long he can stay focused. He never plays more than eight hours at a time because he knows that as his mind becomes fatigued it is harder for him to make the good choices that make him a winning player.

John’s problem: he was finding it very hard to get up from the computer after a losing session (meaning that on this day he had lost money overall). He understands the variance of his winning and losing. He knows that over the long term he is a winning player, but he had a mental block about getting up near the end of the losing session.

It’s easy to see how this problem would multiply itself. He would have a losing session, causing him to keep playing past his mental peak. Since he was past his mental peak, he’d play worse, causing him to lose more. This would push him on tilt. By being on tilt he would play worse, causing him to lose more. This cycle would repeat until he walked away in frustration after losing far too much money.

I had John tune into the feeling of not wanting to get up at the end of his most recent losing session. As we investigated the feeling, he described how he knew because of his skill and experience that he was better than everyone he was playing with. He knew intellectually about the swings of the game, but emotionally he couldn’t let these players get the best of him. We began by tapping on the facts of the situation with phrases like this (I don’t remember the exact phrases):

“I know I am a better player than most of the people I play with…I understand that poker does have chance elements in it…there are going to be times when players who are worse than me are going to get the better of me…because of the variance of the game…over the long term I am a winning player…there are ups and downs in the game…I never play in a game that I can’t afford…I am playing with players I can beat…it is okay to have one losing session because I know over the long haul I will come out ahead…I know I need to get up after 8 hours of play…because I lose my mental edge…and play worse…I give myself permission to know that I can get up after a losing session knowing I will come out ahead in the long run”

After doing the tapping I had John tune back into the feeling of needing to stay at the end of the losing session. He said most of the desire to keep playing was gone, but there was still something hanging around. I asked him what the feeling reminded him of. He then said the classic line, “I don’t know if this has anything to do with this, but…” and then proceeded to tell of a time when he was playing youth hockey and was screamed at by a coach after a loss. He talked about how much he hated losing.

We quickly used tapping to do some clean up on the emotions of that memory. I then had him once again tune back into the feeling at the end of the most recent losing session. He reported there was no desire to stay at the computer playing.

Six weeks later John reported that he had had some losing sessions during that time, but he had never once stayed past his mental prime of six to eight hours. This resulted in an increase of his profitability, more than he expected. He hadn’t realized just how much this problem had been affecting his game.

Pod #12: How Our Emotions Serve Us

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This week’s podcast deals with two of the most common questions I receive from clients and readers. First, we look at how negative emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy, and sadness can serve us. Second, we cover how to come up with tapping phrases and if we need to say them out loud when doing borrowing benefits work.

Links & Resources From Episode:

Host: Gene Monterastelli
Contact Info: web @ eftQandA.com, e-mail @ eftQandA.com/contact, twitter @ twitter.com/genedavid

Bio: Gene Monterastelli is a Baltimore based EFT practitioner. He regularly works with clients in the areas of stress, weight loss, limiting beliefs, anxieties, learning disabilities, pain management, and relationship issues. He is the editor of EFT Q & A. There is a very special place in his practice that is dedicated to parents of special needs children, especially for parents of children who have diagnosed with Autistic Spectral Disorder (ASD). Gene works with clients from all over the world one-on-one and in groups.

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Pod #11: Tapping for Romantic Relationships w/ Gina Parris

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As humans one of the places we have the opportunity to find joy and discover who we are is through our intimate relationships. Because of this we have a tendency to over-think, over- analyze, and over-function as we seek out these relationships. In the pod I talk to Gina Parris about how we can use tapping to find and develop thriving romantic relationships.


Gina Parris

Guest: Gina Parris

Contact Info: BuiltToWnCoaching.com

About Gina: Gina Parris is an internationally sought-after peak performance speaker and coach who has spent twenty years helping people overcome their obstacles to reach their full potential – joyfully. Her clients range from professional athletes to solo-preneurs. She is passionate about helping people balance all the areas of their lives so that their relationships thrive amid great personal and professional growth.

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

When Reward Systems Go Bad: Food As A Reward

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photo by Infidelic

We are all familiar with reward systems (even if we don’t use that name). “If you clean your room you can watch TV.” “I will read one more chapter and then take a walk.” “Once I pay the bills I will go get a smoothie.”

Reward systems are very effective as a motivator to get a task done, but they can also become problematic unless they are carefully created and used. Sometimes they can be created and we don’t even realize it is happening.

Here is an example of how a reward system had become transformed. Although at one time it was beneficial, it had become a problem.

My client “Linda” was trying to change her diet. For some reason she was craving and eating sweets and carbohydrates, even when she was not hungry. Normally when I encounter cravings and mindless eating it’s because the food is being used to fill an emotional hole of some sort. Even though that was my assumption I knew we needed to check in with her system to see if this was the case.

After doing a few minutes of investigation using a guided imagery technique and a parts technique it became very clear that the food was being used as a reward system. Every time she did something good she got to eat something that was sweet.

But this is not how things were playing out.

She was having these cravings in the evening when she was watching TV. These cravings weren’t coming after she had done something that deserved a reward.

With a little more investigation it became clear that the evening was her lowest emotional point of the day. This was her least busy time, and therefore she was free to let her thoughts wander to all the limiting beliefs she had about herself as well as to her worries about her life.

This is when the reward system kicked in, but it did it in reverse. It started to work like this:

  • When I do something that is good it means I have value as a person
  • I get a treat when I have done something good
  • The more treats I get the more good I must be doing
  • The more good I am doing the more value I have
  • If I am eating lots of treats it must mean that I am really good and have lots of value
  • I am feeling bad about myself so I am going to have a treat because the only reason I would get a treat is because I have value

This is a really subtle shift. All of a sudden treats go from being a reward to becoming a way to feel better.

Through another technique we are able to take the reward system and transform it into a more useful resource.

Lessons form this session:
1) Your expectations can be wrong
Because of my past experience I had a strong belief why a particular action/belief was happening. I was wrong. Just because we believe we know the cause and effect doesn’t mean we do. Even when you are certain you know why a belief exists, ask the system for information. We think we know, but the body truly does know.

2) The issues and beliefs that are hindering us exist because in some way we think they are helping us.
This is a perfect example of this fact. The reward system created to remind Linda she was doing good, may have improved her self-worth, but eating enough junk to keep her self-worth high made her feel worse because of her poor eating choices. Trying to understand why it was being helpful, we came to understand the issue and transform it. If we had approached it from the point of view of, “It’s bad. It must be eliminated”, we never would have understood why it existed, making the fast transformation an impossibility.

3) Resource that were once helpful might not be helpful today
Our point of view changes, our lives change, and our circumstances change. For this reason we need to revisit why we act the way we do to see if it’s still serving us.

Being able to say “No.”

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Sometimes the hardest word to say is “no”. We want to be helpful. We want to give. We don’t want to be seen as selfish. We want to be asked again in the future. There are so many reasons to say “yes”. But there are also many good reasons to say “no”.

We have too much on our plate. We need to spend some time on ourselves. We are being asked to do something we can’t do. We are being asked to do something we just don’t want to do.

We need to be ok with saying “no” so we can say “yes” when the time is right. If you have a hard time saying no, here is a tapping patter that will help. If you have real trouble saying no, you might want to revisit this patter from time to time.

I have a very hard time saying “no”…I want to be helpful…I want the people in my life to know I care…I want to not be selfish…because I have so much…I want others to know that I have something to offer…I want to be there for others…I want to be asked again and I feel if I say “no” now I won’t be asked again…

I am allowed to say “no”…I can say “no” because I can’t do something… I can say “no” because I don’t want to do something… I can say “no” for no other reason than it is my choice…the only way I am going to be healthy is if I take care of myself…the only way I can take care of myself is by not always taking care of everyone else…by taking care of myself I can better care for important others in my life…I can say “no” even if people are thinking I am being selfish by saying “no”…it is much more important for me to take care of myself than it is to worry about what others think about me…when I say “no” I am also saying “yes” to many other possibilities and opportunities…therefore “no” is not a negative…it is a choice to allow the other…I give myself permission to make the choices that are best for me…”yes” or “no”…I give myself a chance to make the choices that are going to allow me to flourish and grow…I must take care of myself before I can take care of others…this doesn’t mean I ignore other’s needs…but I must also consider my needs when making choices…that is what is best for me…that is what is best for others…

I give myself permission to be easy with myself for all the times that I have said “yes” when I should have said “no”…there are times I have made my life harder because I’ve said “yes” when I should have said “no”…I‘ve said “yes” to things I could not do…I have said “yes” to things I shouldn’t have…I have made my life harder…I forgive myself for the times I should have said “no” but didn’t…it is ok that I have done this in the past…I choose to know I’ve learned from these moments…I choose to know I can make better choices in the future…I can change this pattern…and I will change this pattern…I will start by saying “no” to holding on to this regret…

I also let go the resentment I hold towards others who have taken advantage of my always saying “yes”…I am taking responsibility for my response….just because someone has asked doesn’t mean that I have to say “yes”…I take responsibility for the times I have said “yes” even when I didn’t want to…by taking responsibility for the times I have said “yes”, I am giving myself permission to take responsibilities for my choices in the future…by taking responsibility for my past…I get to have control over my future…I therefore let go of blame to others whom I have said “yes” to…I am now in control…I can and will make the choice that is right for me…be it “yes” or “no”.