EFT/Tapping Q and A with Gene Monterastelli - Emotional Freedom Techniques

Pod #302: EFT For Resistance to Intentions and Progress

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A few weeks ago in Podcast 299 I shared with you a simple way to use intentions at the beginning of every day as gentle way of taking more positive action throughout the day.

I heard from a number of clients who tried the process and struggled to use it. One described how when she sat down to tap, she completely went blank. Not just for the tapping phrases, but she couldn't remember the type of progress she wanted to achieve.

As unbelievable as it might seem, our system can put up resistance to our progress because on some level it believes it is unsafe for us to change and move forward. If there is a subconscious belief that progress is dangerous, it will do everything in its power to hold us back.

In this audio I demonstrate how to tap when there is a part of us that thinks progress is unsafe. (I have included the text version of the tapping script under the audio player below.)

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It seems really silly that I wouldn't be taking useful action…I've named the goal…But for some reason I'm just not taking action…I know how valuable the change would be…I can feel my system self-sabotaging…But I'm not exactly sure why…In this process I'm open to discovering the resistance…I'm open to releasing that resistance…So I can move forward in a healthy way…I might be worried that it's not safe for me to change…At some point in the past change did not work out well…My system is trying to keep me safe…By avoiding the possible pain that might come with change…In this moment it is safe for me to transform…In this moment it is safe for me to change…In this moment I can move forward happily and healthily as I make this change…It is possible there's a part of me that doesn't believe I'm worthy of change…Other people are allowed to change…Other people are allowed to transform…But not me…For some reason it is not safe for me to move forward in this way…Because there's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of transformation…There's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of healing…I am worthy of healing…I am worthy of transformation…I'm worthy of moving forward in a way that is healthy for me…I was made for transformation…There's a part of me that might be afraid…That if I attempt this transformation or make this transformation…That others are going to judge me…Others are going to judge my effort…Others are going to judge what I'm attempting…I recognize the fact that this transformation is about me…It's not about others…It's not about what other people think…It's not about what other people believe…I'm allowed to transform regardless of what other people feel…It is possible that there is a part of me that is afraid…That this transformation won’t live up to what I hope it does…It's only going to be a fraction of my needs…And when I get to the end I will be disappointed…It will feel like a giant waste of time…It will feel like a giant waste of energy…It will feel like a giant waste of effort…Because it didn't live up to my desire…It is very possible that this won’t turn out how I had hoped…That this isn't going to turn out how I planned…But even with that being the case…Regardless of the transformation that comes…It is worth my time and effort to try…The effort that I am putting forth…Is about being successful…It's about being healthy…It's not about meeting a specific goal…My goals and intentions are just guidance…Helping me to experience transformation…I give myself permission to pursue this transformation…Even though the outcome is uncertain…It will be worth the effort regardless of the specific outcome.

Pod #301: EFT for Feeling Stillness and Peace

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Sometimes we tap with the aim of just feeling better, without a clear focus for our tapping. We might feel unsettled or out of sorts, but not in a precise way. From a tapping point of view this can pose a problem because often the best results come when we are very specific about an issue.

When this happens to me, I have a simple way to tap for peace, calm, and tranquility.

Here is a tap-along audio that’s perfect for those times and will help bring you peace. (Full tapping script below the audio player.)

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I recognize the fact that I am not at peace…I have thoughts buzzing in my head…I have tension in my body…I have the distraction of all of the things I need to do…I appreciate the fact that I live in the modern world…And there is busyness…I also acknowledge the modern world is not my enemy…Busyness is not my enemy… But they do make it difficult for me to find peace…They do make it difficult for me to find calm…I give my system permission to release and let go of any tension held in my body…Knowing that whatever information is in that tension is information that I can understand in another way…When that tension melts away…I am fully grounded in my body…I can respond to what I need to respond to…In an easy and effective way…I give myself permission to be fully present in my body…To know that it is safe for me to be fully present in my body…I give myself permission to relax…I give myself permission to be in my body in this moment…I also acknowledge that my mind is buzzing…Filled with ideas and thoughts that are trying to get my attention…Part of me doesn't want to let these go…Because if I let them go I will forget…I know that if something is important…It will come back…It will be fully present in my mind…In this moment I am allowed to be calm…I'm allowed to be still…I'm allowed to be mentally fully present in this moment…As I reach for this stillness…There is no other goal than being still in this moment…I'm not trying to achieve something at this time…Other than letting go…That will allow me to be at peace…That will allow me to be calm…That will allow me to relax and let go…I give myself permission to relax in this moment…And in doing so to be at peace.

Tap Along Audio: EFT For Emotions In The Wake Of Tragedy

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This tap-along audio and tapping scripts were originally created in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. They were created in a way that could be used for any tragedy.

Any tragedy this unexpected can leave us feeling very vulnerable because we recognize that there are so many things in the world beyond our control. When we are in the middle of this kind of experience we see the same images over and over again. It almost feels like they are being burned into our retinas and engraved in our minds.

There are two tapping sequences in this audio. The first is for dealing with the emotion of the tragedy. The second is for dealing with the tv images that we have seen over and over again. The scrips are typed out below the audio so you can print them out and take them with you.

It's really hard when we see tragedy…Especially tragedy of such a nature…Things that we don't expect…That come out of nowhere…That really take us off guard…They can really shake us to our core…Because they are so unexpected…They take us to a place where we feel like everything is out of control…It shines a light on on how incredibly random the world can be…How little we really control…We recognize this…When we recognize how little control we have…It can make day to day really hard…Because it simply feels like the world is acting on us…If we are lucky we will get through it unscathed…Part of us believes that this is only a matter of luck…Part of us believes that something bad could happen at any moment…It is true that the world is an unsafe place…It is true that there are things that can happen in an unexpected way…It's true that we don't have as much control as we would like to think…Just because we don't control everything doesn't mean that our life is out of control…Just because there are things that can hurt us does it mean that we are in danger of being hurt every single moment…We are more aware than we think of the danger around us…We are continually making choices to keep us safe…When things don't go perfectly or when things go wrong…We have the facilities and the skills to respond…Today is a new day…With unknown things coming at me…I give myself permission to recognize that I can respond to whatever comes my way…I always control my response…I always control my thoughts…I always control my emotions…Which gives me the opportunity to whatever comes…Even if it's not accepted…Even if it is tragic.

Over the last few days I've seen lots of horrific images…Some of those images I have seen over and over again…They feel like they're burned into my retinas and they feel like they are burned into my consciousness…That I will constantly be reminded of them…When I see a flashing light or I hear a loud bang…All of these images are going to come rushing back…I give myself permission to release and let go…I give myself permission to know I don't have to hold on to these images…I am aware of this type of danger…I know what I need to do to be safe…Holding on to these images are not going to keep me any safer…Re-remembering these images over and over again are not going to make me any safer…I give myself and I give my whole system permission to release and let go…I give myself permission to know that I can let go of these images and still be safe…I can let go of these images and still be aware of what's around me…I can let go of these images and be safe.

Pod #281: EFT For Dread

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Tapping for negative past experiences is often the easiest kind of tapping because we know the details of the past experience. While tapping we have the opportunity to state exactly what happened, how we interpret those events, how we felt about them back then, and how we feel now.

No matter how long we have to tap to find relief, the tapping itself is straightforward.

Tapping for the emotion of dread can be much less straightforward. Dread is a worry about the future and, since the future is unknown, it is much harder to find specific details to tap for.

Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to tap for dread. I recorded the audio while I was in the grip of feeling dread myself, so you have the opportunity to experience the way I tap when dealing with an issue firsthand.

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There is a deep feeling of dread…That is encompassing my entire body…Because it is dread there is no specific focal point…There’s no specific place that lives in my body…There is no epicenter to the pain…Even when I have a sense with the dread is and what it is about I don’t know what that is in detail…Which makes tapping for this emotion really hard…I give myself permission to know that it is okay to tap…It is effective to tap…Even when I don’t know exactly what I’m focusing on…Because of what is going on around me and because of the things outside of my control…My system is feeling a sense of dread…It’s feeling a sense of hopelessness…Things are bad…Or are going to continue to be bad…Or are going to get worse…I appreciate the fact of my system is pointing this out…I am fully aware of what is going wrong…I am fully aware of what might go wrong…My system has done its job…I give the dread permission to release…Because I am aware of what it is trying to point out…Letting go of the dread is not saying the current situation is okay…Letting go of the dread is not me giving up my power to take action…Letting go of the dread he’s not giving up…Instead by releasing the dread it puts me in a position to take action…It puts me in a position to move forward…It allows me to regain my control…Not control over everything…But control over me…Control over the small actions I can take…Control over the kindness that I can share…Control over being able to be present in this moment…Not ignoring what is going on…But instead not being debilitated by what is going on…Even when it feels hopeless…Even when it feels overwhelming…I give myself permission to allow myself to move forward…In This Moment, being a positive agent of change…That does not mean it is easy…That does not mean it is fun…That does not mean it is pain-free…It means that I am in a situation where I can control this moment in controlling how I respond…I am glad my system is recognizing things that are troubling…I appreciate my systems pointing out things that are difficult for my system to overcome the dread has done its job…It can release…It can let go…So I can move forward.

Pod #275: EFT For Grief

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Unfortunately, death is an unfortunate fact of life. Even with the passing of a loved one is expected it is an emotionally difficult experience.

When we are facing the emotions that come after the death of a loved one, the goal is not to eliminate all of our emotion. Sadness is appropriate. Sadness is healthy. Instead we can tap to make sure that we are have proportional well informed emotions.

The tap-along audio and script that you can find below is perfect any time you are feeling the pain of the death of a loved one. It could be right when it happened, on the anniversary of their death, or on a random day that you are reminded of them.

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Having a loved one die hurts…I am overcome with sadness…Because I’m never again going to get a chance again to spend time with this person I loved…I won’t get to ask them for advice…I won’t get to share a joke…I won’t get to cry alongside them…Those moments are gone…Because of that I hurt deeply…The hurt that I am feeling is just my system telling me that I miss someone who is really important…I want my system to know that I am completely aware of that fact…I am aware of the loss…I am aware of the disconnection…I give my system permission to feel that sadness…I’m not running away from this sadness…I’m not avoiding the sadness…It is simply my experience in this moment…But I also recognize the fact…Then I don’t have to stay in that loss…It’s not the only part of this experience…How lucky am I to have had this person in my life…I know my life is better because of their presents in it…I know my life is richer because of that experience…And I appreciate deeply the fact that I knew them…Even though I miss them…I recognize the fact that this feeling isn’t going to last forever…That this sadness isn’t going to last forever…That this pain isn’t going to last forever…Even though in this moment it feels like it will…In this moment I’m allowed to feel grief…I don’t have to fight it…I give myself permission to know it’s not my total experience…This experience is more than the grief…I’m allowed to appreciate and I’m allowed to celebrate period I’m allowed to honor this friendship…They will be missed…I will feel the sadness of their loss again because they are loved…I don’t have to feel sadness to honor the friendship…Feeling sadness is one of the ways to honor the friendship…I give myself permission to honor it in so many other ways…I am so lucky they were in my life…Remembering that is so much more important than the sadness of their loss…This sadness will pass…This grief will pass…But my connection to them will remain forever.

Pod #271: Tapping To Boost Creativity

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Embarking on a creative endeavor, whether for our personal or professional lives, can feel daunting.

We struggle with creativity because:

  • We want the ideas to emerge fully formed
  • We are worried that our efforts will be judged harshly by others
  • We are concerned about wasting time and not coming up with anything good
  • We don’t know where to start so it feels like a waste of time and energy even to try

Because we don’t want the process to go badly, we simply don’t start (think of staring at a blank Word document and being taunted by that blinking cursor!).

This tap-along audio (with script below) will help you to clear the emotional blocks holding you back from creative endeavours. Take a few moments to tap through this audio (or script) before brainstorming or working on a task that requires creativity and you will find your flow much more easily.

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There is a part of me that wants to do this task successfully..But there is also a part of me feeling resistance…There’s a part of me avoiding taking action…It is doing this to keep me safe…It is doing this to avoid danger…On the surface I know how silly that sounds…Being creative is not dangerous…But this part of me is worried…It is worried that I will waste my time…It is worried that I won’t come up with good ideas…It is worried that others will judge my ideas…It is worried that whatever I come up with isn’t going to be good enough…This is going to be a giant waste of time and effort…I appreciate this worry…Because worry comes with the creative process…The creative process is uncertain…The creative process is full of unknowns…The creative process is full of bad ideas…The creative process is full of half ideas…I don’t want to waste my time with those…I know what it feels like to get this right…I know what it feels like to have this completed…But that feels so far away…That feels so impossible in this moment…I give myself permission to recognize the fact that creativity is a process…Ideas are not going to spring from my head fully formed…It will take a little time…It will take a little effort…For me to find my way to the ideas that work for me…No one has to see the ideas that I come up with first…Unless I decide to share them…It’s OK if they are half ideas…It’s OK if they are incomplete ideas…It’s even OK if they are bad ideas…Because no one is ever going to see them unless I decide to share them…So the process is safe…It doesn’t have to be perfect…Many of the ideas I come up with might be seeds of much better ideas…I might not have those much better ideas right away…But I know spending time with the process will lead to what I need…It is OK if it takes time…It is OK if it slowly unfolds…It is even OK for me to spend time on this problem right now and not come up with a useful answer…There will be times when the creative process will involve me working through the least useful ideas first…That’s OK…Because that is the process…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I give myself the space to come up with ideas that are useful…I give myself permission to trust myself in this process…Knowing that good and useful ideas will come…If I give myself the space and time that I need…I will come up with ideas that are so good that they surprise even me.

Pod #262: EFT For Encouragement

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My clients constantly tell me, “I know I should be tapping, but I don’t want to spend time stuck in yukky negative emotions.”

I can sympathize. Connecting with and feeling our negative emotions isn’t much fun. Even though tapping is a powerful tool to shift them, it makes sense that we avoid what is uncomfortable.

This week I have a tap-along audio filled with positive affirmations. I recommend tapping along at the beginning of your day, before tackling a difficult task, or any time you just need a pick-me-up.

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I am brimming with energy.
I am overflowing with joy.
I possess everything necessary to be successful.
Creative energy surges through me.
Today I will find new and brilliant ideas.
I abandon my old habits and pick up new habits that serve my health and my wellbeing.
My efforts are being supported by the universe.
My dreams are coming true before my eyes.
Happiness is my birthright.
I feel joy and contentment.
By allowing myself to be happy, I inspire others to be happy as well.
I look at the world around me and smile with a deep feeling joy.
My heart is overflowing with love.
I expect to be successful because success is my natural state.
I feel powerful, capable, confident, and energetic.
I am a solution focused problem solver.
I am unique. It feels good being alive and being me.
I act from a place of personal strength.
I find deep inner peace with who I am.
Every cell in my body is made for energy and for health.
I pay attention and listen to what my body needs.
I am a peacemaker wherever I go.
I am focused and engaged with the task at hand.
I am grateful for this moment.
I observe my emotions without getting attached to them.
Every day I am more and more at ease.
I draw from my inner strength.
I trust myself.
Today will be a gorgeous day to remember.
I show compassion and I show love.
I choose to see the light that I am to this world.

Pod #258: EFT For Feeling Dissatisfied With Progress Being Made

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There is an odd phenomenon that happens when we make progress. Even though we are working towards our goals, there is a part of us feels dissatisfied with the progress. This can even happen when we have reached our goals. There is a part that still wants to pick away and criticize what we are doing.

This happens because change feels scary, even if that fear exists only on the subconscious level. Change means we are doing something new, which is unpredictable, and the subconscious often reads this as dangerous.

That explains why we shortcircuit our progress, undercut our actions, and sometimes even stop ourselves from taking any action at all.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along that will help to quiet the subconscious when it is dissatisfied with progress, which will help you to take more action.

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I know what I want…I know what actions I want to take…I know the goals I want to achieve…Intellectually I can see very clearly how taking these actions is best for me…Achieving these goals is best for me…But there is a part of me that is concerned…There is a part of me that is worried…It is afraid of what will come next…Even though what I have in this moment is far from perfect…Even though there is some pain in this moment…What I’m experiencing right now is predictable…What I’m experiencing right now is known…Because of that fact it is manageable…It is far from perfect…But I know what is coming and I know how to respond to it…The part of me that wants predictable is just trying to keep me safe…It is worried that unpredictable is unsafe…In order to keep me stuck in this spot it is undermining my actions…It is belittling my goals…It’s not doing this because there is something wrong with the action…It is not doing this because there is something wrong with my goal…It is only doing this because it doesn’t want me to change…It is using the tactic of picking on the choices I am making…It is taking on the tactic of belittling my goals…I recognize the fact that this part is trying to keep me safe…I recognize the fact that it is trying to keep me healthy…But it is working way too hard…It is choosing an unhealthy tactic…It is choosing a tactic that is safe…I give myself permission to know that change is good…I give myself permission to know that I can step into the unknown and still be safe…The actions I am taking are thoughtful…The actions I am taking are deliberate…I give myself permission to transform…Knowing that if the new way isn’t right for me…I can always return to the old way…I trust the transformation…I trust myself…I give myself permission to take bold action today…Knowing that I can do this and still be safe.

Pod #257: EFT To Clear Clutter

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When my space is cluttered I find it difficult to work efficiently and the mess becomes an emotional and energetic drag on my day.

Recently I replaced my kitchen table with one that fits the space much better than its predecessor and took the opportunity to organize the piles of clutter that had made it their home. My tiny NYC apartment feels much more open and comfortable because that space is cleared.

Sometimes dealing with clutter is about more than setting aside the time to clean up. If you are having a hard time decluttering your space, it’s likely that there is an emotional component at play preventing you from taking action.

In this week’s podcast I have for you my favorite technique for clearing out clutter and a tap-along to help you get started.

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I recognize the fact that there is a huge amount of clutter that I need to deal with…It feels so overwhelming…It feels like it’s never going to get done…Who knows what I’m going to find in those piles…I might be worried about what I’m going to discover…I also recognize the fact it feels like it is too much work…It is never actually going to get done…I am going to find myself stuck in the middle of this mess forever…I recognize the fact that if I take this a little at a time…If I clean this up bit by bit…Those small steps will make a huge difference…Every little bit of cleaning I do will move me closer to having this completed…Every bit of cleaning I do creates more space…It creates more movement…It makes my space more comfortable…Even if I only do some of this…It will make a difference in the long run…I give myself permission to allow that to happen…To see this as a gentle process…As I remove each little bit knowing I will feel better…I don’t have to do this all at once…If I do this a little at a time I will be done sooner than I could imagine.

Pod #256: EFT For When We Are Judgmental Of Others

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In order to have the type of life that we would like, it is important to make good choices about who and what surrounds us. One of the ways we can do this is to evaluate our circumstances and who we spend our time with.

But sometimes we can take this too far. We move from deciding if something is the right fit for us, to saying something is inherently bad. We decide it is unworthy of our time and attention.

When I judge someone or their beliefs harshly, it is often because I am fearful. On some level I am worried that their beliefs or actions will undermine me.

This week I have a tap-along and script for those times when we become too judgy and critical of those around us. The full tapping script can be found below the player.

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I recognize the fact there are times when I am very judgmental…There are times in which I am very harsh…Where I put other people down and think that they are not good enough…I am really embarrassed by the fact that I do this from time to time…It’s not who I want to be…It’s not how I want to treat others…When I act this way I feel a great sense of shame…I feel a great sense of disappointment…I am embarrassed…I recognize the fact when I act in this way it’s because I feel hurt…Or I feel attacked…Or I feel like I’m in danger…That is why I lash out…That’s why there’s a part of me trying to push someone else down…So I can feel safe…So I can feel secure…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I must take responsibility for my thoughts, actions, and emotions…I can be gentle with myself when I make bad choices…Part of me feels ashamed…There is the part that knows that I can be better…The part that knows I was made for better…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I encourage myself to strive to be all that I can be…To see the true worth of others…Without feeling insecure…To feel safety without feeling like I have to push someone else down…I know I can judge less…I want to be less judgmental…I give myself permission to love myself enough to know I no longer need to put others down…I commit to letting go of judging others.