EFT/Tapping Q and A with Gene Monterastelli - Emotional Freedom Techniques

Pod #380: Tapping For When We Need To Make An Ask

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Human beings are social creatures.

That means that in order to thrive, we need to do more than just interact with others, we need to work together, whether collaboratively in a professional context, or by sharing enjoyable activities in our social lives.

Whenever we ask someone to do something with or for us, we risk being turned down. That may seem obvious, but there is a deeper issue at play because on a subconscious level, a rejection may be read as a rejection of us and who we are.

Even though this isn’t the case, if we are struggling with that emotion, we are unlikely to take the action that we want to take. When we don’t ask to connect and work with others, we miss opportunities and our lives aren’t as rich.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along (tapping script below) to help you to know it is safe to ask others, even if they might say no.

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I recognize that I really want someone to say yes…Because if they say yes, it will be good for me…And it will be good for them…Because we’re doing something together, our lives will be better…If I ask them to do this…I’m giving them the opportunity to say no…And when someone says no to my request…Especially a request I really believe in…Especially a request I really want…It is easy to feel that when they say no, they are rejecting me as a person…Like they are saying I am not worth their time…They are saying I’m not worth their effort…They are saying I am not worth their energy…They are judging me as unworthy…Because when I ask for something…It is because I believe in it…On some level my request is part of me…And when they turn down my request, it feels as if they are turning me down…I give myself permission to recognize that when people say no to me…They are saying this is the wrong fit…They are saying this isn’t the right time…They’re saying they’re not in the right emotional state to say yes…They are saying they don’t understand what I am offering…When someone rejects my offer…That is not the same as rejecting me… They aren’t making a value statement about me…They’re not making a judgment of me…They are stating where they are…Therefore it is safe for me to ask…When I ask I’m giving them permission to say no…It is not judgment…It is not a statement of who they think I am…I give myself permission to know my life is better when I ask for what I want…Even if most of the time people say no…Every time someone says yes it is an opportunity and experience I wouldn’t otherwise have…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I ask…Knowing that my ask doesn’t have to be perfect…It is safe for me to want what I want…And it is safe for me to ask…It is even safe for me to hear them say no.

Pod #377: When The Body Is The “Enemy” and Weight Release Is A “Battle”

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We often treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the journey towards better health as a battle.

We can feel betrayed by our bodies, and feel hopeless and frustrated by our slow or lack of progress.

But our bodies are not our enemy. In reality, our bodies are doing what they can to be healthy and there are simply unseen obstacles to the healing process

Once we recognize that we are not separate from our bodies, and that they are trying to function in an optimal way, it becomes easier to work towards better health and well being.

Recently I was working with a client on returning to a healthier body after backsliding (again). After a great session he asked if we could spend some time on helping him to believe that progress was possible and to reconnect with his body.

When we had finished the session he said, “You should write that down so others can use it.” When I told him that I could share the recording if I had his permission, he insisted I did, so here it is.

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Pod #302: EFT For Resistance to Intentions and Progress

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A few weeks ago in Podcast 299 I shared with you a simple way to use intentions at the beginning of every day as gentle way of taking more positive action throughout the day.

I heard from a number of clients who tried the process and struggled to use it. One described how when she sat down to tap, she completely went blank. Not just for the tapping phrases, but she couldn't remember the type of progress she wanted to achieve.

As unbelievable as it might seem, our system can put up resistance to our progress because on some level it believes it is unsafe for us to change and move forward. If there is a subconscious belief that progress is dangerous, it will do everything in its power to hold us back.

In this audio I demonstrate how to tap when there is a part of us that thinks progress is unsafe. (I have included the text version of the tapping script under the audio player below.)

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It seems really silly that I wouldn't be taking useful action…I've named the goal…But for some reason I'm just not taking action…I know how valuable the change would be…I can feel my system self-sabotaging…But I'm not exactly sure why…In this process I'm open to discovering the resistance…I'm open to releasing that resistance…So I can move forward in a healthy way…I might be worried that it's not safe for me to change…At some point in the past change did not work out well…My system is trying to keep me safe…By avoiding the possible pain that might come with change…In this moment it is safe for me to transform…In this moment it is safe for me to change…In this moment I can move forward happily and healthily as I make this change…It is possible there's a part of me that doesn't believe I'm worthy of change…Other people are allowed to change…Other people are allowed to transform…But not me…For some reason it is not safe for me to move forward in this way…Because there's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of transformation…There's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of healing…I am worthy of healing…I am worthy of transformation…I'm worthy of moving forward in a way that is healthy for me…I was made for transformation…There's a part of me that might be afraid…That if I attempt this transformation or make this transformation…That others are going to judge me…Others are going to judge my effort…Others are going to judge what I'm attempting…I recognize the fact that this transformation is about me…It's not about others…It's not about what other people think…It's not about what other people believe…I'm allowed to transform regardless of what other people feel…It is possible that there is a part of me that is afraid…That this transformation won’t live up to what I hope it does…It's only going to be a fraction of my needs…And when I get to the end I will be disappointed…It will feel like a giant waste of time…It will feel like a giant waste of energy…It will feel like a giant waste of effort…Because it didn't live up to my desire…It is very possible that this won’t turn out how I had hoped…That this isn't going to turn out how I planned…But even with that being the case…Regardless of the transformation that comes…It is worth my time and effort to try…The effort that I am putting forth…Is about being successful…It's about being healthy…It's not about meeting a specific goal…My goals and intentions are just guidance…Helping me to experience transformation…I give myself permission to pursue this transformation…Even though the outcome is uncertain…It will be worth the effort regardless of the specific outcome.

Pod #301: EFT for Feeling Stillness and Peace

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Sometimes we tap with the aim of just feeling better, without a clear focus for our tapping. We might feel unsettled or out of sorts, but not in a precise way. From a tapping point of view this can pose a problem because often the best results come when we are very specific about an issue.

When this happens to me, I have a simple way to tap for peace, calm, and tranquility.

Here is a tap-along audio that’s perfect for those times and will help bring you peace. (Full tapping script below the audio player.)

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I recognize the fact that I am not at peace…I have thoughts buzzing in my head…I have tension in my body…I have the distraction of all of the things I need to do…I appreciate the fact that I live in the modern world…And there is busyness…I also acknowledge the modern world is not my enemy…Busyness is not my enemy… But they do make it difficult for me to find peace…They do make it difficult for me to find calm…I give my system permission to release and let go of any tension held in my body…Knowing that whatever information is in that tension is information that I can understand in another way…When that tension melts away…I am fully grounded in my body…I can respond to what I need to respond to…In an easy and effective way…I give myself permission to be fully present in my body…To know that it is safe for me to be fully present in my body…I give myself permission to relax…I give myself permission to be in my body in this moment…I also acknowledge that my mind is buzzing…Filled with ideas and thoughts that are trying to get my attention…Part of me doesn't want to let these go…Because if I let them go I will forget…I know that if something is important…It will come back…It will be fully present in my mind…In this moment I am allowed to be calm…I'm allowed to be still…I'm allowed to be mentally fully present in this moment…As I reach for this stillness…There is no other goal than being still in this moment…I'm not trying to achieve something at this time…Other than letting go…That will allow me to be at peace…That will allow me to be calm…That will allow me to relax and let go…I give myself permission to relax in this moment…And in doing so to be at peace.

Tap Along Audio: EFT For Emotions In The Wake Of Tragedy

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This tap-along audio and tapping scripts were originally created in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. They were created in a way that could be used for any tragedy.

Any tragedy this unexpected can leave us feeling very vulnerable because we recognize that there are so many things in the world beyond our control. When we are in the middle of this kind of experience we see the same images over and over again. It almost feels like they are being burned into our retinas and engraved in our minds.

There are two tapping sequences in this audio. The first is for dealing with the emotion of the tragedy. The second is for dealing with the tv images that we have seen over and over again. The scrips are typed out below the audio so you can print them out and take them with you.

It's really hard when we see tragedy…Especially tragedy of such a nature…Things that we don't expect…That come out of nowhere…That really take us off guard…They can really shake us to our core…Because they are so unexpected…They take us to a place where we feel like everything is out of control…It shines a light on on how incredibly random the world can be…How little we really control…We recognize this…When we recognize how little control we have…It can make day to day really hard…Because it simply feels like the world is acting on us…If we are lucky we will get through it unscathed…Part of us believes that this is only a matter of luck…Part of us believes that something bad could happen at any moment…It is true that the world is an unsafe place…It is true that there are things that can happen in an unexpected way…It's true that we don't have as much control as we would like to think…Just because we don't control everything doesn't mean that our life is out of control…Just because there are things that can hurt us does it mean that we are in danger of being hurt every single moment…We are more aware than we think of the danger around us…We are continually making choices to keep us safe…When things don't go perfectly or when things go wrong…We have the facilities and the skills to respond…Today is a new day…With unknown things coming at me…I give myself permission to recognize that I can respond to whatever comes my way…I always control my response…I always control my thoughts…I always control my emotions…Which gives me the opportunity to whatever comes…Even if it's not accepted…Even if it is tragic.

Over the last few days I've seen lots of horrific images…Some of those images I have seen over and over again…They feel like they're burned into my retinas and they feel like they are burned into my consciousness…That I will constantly be reminded of them…When I see a flashing light or I hear a loud bang…All of these images are going to come rushing back…I give myself permission to release and let go…I give myself permission to know I don't have to hold on to these images…I am aware of this type of danger…I know what I need to do to be safe…Holding on to these images are not going to keep me any safer…Re-remembering these images over and over again are not going to make me any safer…I give myself and I give my whole system permission to release and let go…I give myself permission to know that I can let go of these images and still be safe…I can let go of these images and still be aware of what's around me…I can let go of these images and be safe.