Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

What Tapping Has Taught Me That I Wish I Knew When I Was 13 (Tapping For Self-Respect)

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I wasn’t the coolest of kids when I was in middle school. I was on the math team. At the age of 13 my feet were larger than my 6′ 2″ tall father's, although I was only 5′ 7″ at the time. AND to complete the picture, I had a mullet.

It wasn’t pretty.

I didn’t think my life was horrible or that I was a total loser. I wasn’t a complete loner. But I knew my place.

It was fine for me to be my quirky, funny self around my fellow nerds (back when being a nerd wasn’t cool like it is today). At the same time, when I was around anyone of a “higher” social status, I just kept my head down.

I felt that if I opened my mouth everyone would look at me and think, “I can’t believe what a waste of time he is, why is he hanging around us? Could he just leave?!”

This internal dialog persisted well into my twenties.

I can still remember one particular moment whilst I was at university. I was on campus early for training for a job I had in the resident halls. During a long afternoon break I sat with two guys I worked with who were older than me (and both former military). Their conversation lasted for almost two hours and I barely contributed a word.

I felt out of place…or more likely I “knew” my place, which was well below theirs.
As I think back to that moment, I can still imagine what it felt like to be a little kid who is tagging along with the big kids and hoping they wouldn't notice that I was there. In my memory, even though I was 20 years old, my body feels 4’ 10” tall.

Self-Respect

On swiss-miss.com my friend Tina Roth eisnberg featured the following quote from Joan Didion:

“Self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth.”

I really love this idea. It points to the fact self-respect isn’t something that is granted to us by an external source. It comes from within. Self-respect is all about recognizing your own worth AND (most importantly) it can be consciously nurtured and developed.

I wasn’t able to see that when I was younger. My understanding of my place in the world was based on where I perceived my rank in relation to everyone else. I was either an equal or I was below.

There were certainly many times where I faked belonging. I walked upright with a confident smile on my face. But just because I was projecting a sense of confidence and belonging didn’t mean that I was really comfortable inside of my own skin.

My personal journey with tapping, especially in my late thirties, has been about becoming more comfortable inside my own skin, which is really just another way of saying I have been working on self-respect.

If you are working on growing your own sense of self-respect, I encourage you to tap along to this script every day for a week. It won't take more than a few minutes, and doing it daily will be a huge boost:

I choose to know I am worthy of respect…I choose to know that I am worthy of respecting myself…I don’t need to do anything to prove that I am worthy of self-respect…I am made for self-respect…I don’t need to do anything to gain self-respect…I know I am not perfect…I know I make mistakes every day…I know there are things in my life I would like to improve…Even though I am not perfect…I am worthy of self-respect…I am worthy of seeing that I am good…I am worthy of seeing that I am lovable…It is possible to see that I am worthy and still know that I would like better…By respecting myself I am not holding back my growth…Self-respect will not hold back my healing…Who I am is not determined by other people…Who I am is not determined by what others think…My value is not determined by other people…My value is not determined by what other people think of me…I choose to know I am worthy…I choose to know I am lovable…I choose to know that I am deserving…I choose to know that I am worthy of being heard…I am worthy even if I sometimes find that hard to believe…My belief in my worthiness is not a prerequisite to my worthiness…Even if I don’t believe it right now, I am worth of love and respect.

Create v. Responsible

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our minds, giving us an opportunity for transformation. More articles can be found in this series here: Tools:Words]

Note: This article was originally published November 20, 2011 and has been updated.

I was recently working with a client who has Lyme disease. At one point in the session he said, “I created this situation.”

This statement really struck me. I asked myself, “Did he really create the situation?” and more importantly, “Is it helpful to worry about how a situation was created?”

Sometimes it is obvious when we create a situation, such as choosing to accept a job offer. At other times our lack of action creates a situation, like having your power turned off for failing to pay an electric bill.

But just because something is happening in my life does not mean that I have created it. I think this is one of the areas in which Law of Attraction teaching only goes so far. To assume I am creating everything in my life would mean that my intention is more powerful than the free will of the people around me.

For example, if I am sitting in my living room and a baseball smashes through my front window, it wasn't because I created that situation.

Even if you are willing to argue that I did somehow create the situation of the baseball shattering the window, in the short term it doesn't matter how or why it happened. What matters is what comes next as the window will not fix itself. It is up to me to take responsibility for the broken window, clear up the glass so that nobody gets hurt, and have the window fixed to keep the elements out.

One of the pitfalls of looking at the world through the eyes of “how we created” a situation is it can impede the healing process. It's often helpful to reflect on why something happened so it won't happen again. At the same time, if we are only trying to figure out how it was created or how we created it, we will get stuck.

In our example, if I am only worried about how and why the baseball came through my window, my living room will remain covered with broken glass.

For me, it is much better first to respond to what I am responsible for in a situation without allowing myself to get entangled in the emotional trap of wondering why or how I got there.

In the example of my client with Lyme disease, worrying about the specifics of how he got it will not be helpful. More than likely he will never again be in a situation where he is exposed to the disease. Instead he can move forward by recognizing what he is responsible for. He is responsible for how he feels physically right now, for taking his medication, following his doctor's advice, and understanding the lifestyle choices and environments that cause a flare up of the symptoms.

By focusing on what we are responsible for we are able to leave behind the emotions of what was and move to the energy of working with what is.

That is why I think it is so important that we understand the difference between creating and being responsible for something in our lives. First, I respond to what I am responsible for. This is what is in front of me and what I am going to do next. Once that is done there will be the opportunity to ask questions about how something was created. It might be the consequence of a choice I made, the choices of others, or a situation that will never happen again.

Doing our investigation in this order allows us to take care of the healing in the most efficient order and prevents us from taking more responsibility than is warranted.

Click here to read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Pod #431: My Favorite Tapping Tool: Talk About, Talk To, and Talk As If

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The majority of the issues that I work on with my clients have something to do with the people in their lives.

Sometimes the issue concerns someone we interact with now, and at other times it is about the limiting beliefs people have given us in the past.

The struggle with issues that have to do with someone else is that we can't change another person and we can't take responsibility for their transformation. And even if someone else wanted us to take on their transformation and we were willing to do so, it can't be done.

To that end I have created a tool called Talk About, Talk To, Talk As If. It is a framework for tapping that allows us to look at a relationship from three different vantage points, giving us the ability to tap on any issue from each of these points of view.

Two important notes: First, I think this tool is so powerful and useful that it's the very first tool I teach people after I have taught them the basics of tapping. Second, this is also the tool I teach people when they ask about surrogate tapping. It is not surrogate tapping, but understanding this tool will help you to understand my approach to surrogate tapping.

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Pod #429: Using Tapping To Improve Metabolic Function – Or Any Other System In The Body (10 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 10 of a 10-part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]

Tapping can be used to help manage the functions and systems of our bodies where our systems can often be over- or under-functioning.

Here is a great little tool I use to help tune into the body to gain a sense of how it is working and how we can tap to improve its function. It is called a scoreboard.

In this audio I demonstrate the tool using the example of metabolic function, but the same technique can be used for any of the body’s functions or systems.

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Pod #405 How To End A Tapping Session

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How we end a tapping session is sometimes more important than how we begin it. At the beginning it is most important that we simply start tapping. With each successive round of tapping, we gain clarity about the issue at hand and where we should focus our efforts.

For me, there are two goals for the last little bit of tapping at the end of a session.

First, I often feel a little groggy and fuzzy brained when I've been tapping for a while, which makes sense as tapping often releases a lot of stored emotion and memories. It is important that I'm able to return to my day feeling calm and grounded.

Second, even though we have stopped tapping doesn't mean the process of healing and transformation has ended. The new thoughts and beliefs we've connected with are still integrating even after the tapping stops. At the end of the session, I find it useful to remind myself that the process of healing and transformation will continue after a session. This recognition encourages me to come back and tap again and again.

By taking a few minutes to tap in this way, we can get the most out of our tapping sessions and also set ourselves up for success after the session.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Why I hate (the name) Emotional Freedom Techniques

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Note: This article was originally shared on Sept 2nd, 2012 with the title “Why I Hate Emotional Freedom Techniques”. This is an updated and edited version of that article.

I have a confession to make. I hate Emotional Freedom Techniques.

OK, I don't hate the tool, but I do hate the name.

In the beginning I hated the name because I thought it did the technique such a disservice.

Here we were being given this amazingly powerful tool that was changing people’s lives. It was helping them to release lifelong limiting beliefs, ameliorate chronic physical pain, ease deep-seated emotional issues, and eliminate cravings. It has brought relief to people in hospitals, in war-torn countries and disaster zones, and in prisons.

As a professional using EFT I thought the name “Emotional Freedom Techniques” undermined just how powerful a tool it is.

As someone who has used tapping for many years, I know what that freedom feels like after a powerful tapping session. The world feels new because we have released what has been holding us back. But this is the language of someone who has used EFT and experienced its benefits.

For those who haven't used it before, it is easy to perceive EFT as something frivolous and unpowerful.

For a number of years I was given the opportunity to teach tapping as part of an anger management class in a county jail. One day in class I was telling the guys in jail about my disdain for the name and one of them piped up and said, “You’re right. It shouldn't be called EFT. It should be BET: Balanced Emotion Techniques.”

It wasn't just the fact the name was undermining its power, but instead the name wasn't accurately describing what was going on.

The Goal Is Not To Be Free From Emotions

His comment made me think about the way I teach tapping. Over and over again I teach that emotions are not the problem. Emotions are not the enemy. Emotions are information.

Every time we feel an emotion, our system is just giving us information. When I feel sad, it is saying that something important is missing. When I feel angry, it is telling me that it perceives attack. When I feel frustrated, it is letting me know I am not getting what I want.

This information is both helpful and useful. The goal of tapping isn't to be free of these emotions.

First, the goal of tapping is to make sure that emotions show up at the right time.

For example, it is right that I fear lions, but if I fear them so much that I can't leave my apartment in Brooklyn because I know there is a lion ten miles away in the Bronx Zoo, then that fear is completely out of proportion.

Second, the goal of tapping is to make sure emotions are showing up to the right degree.

For example, when someone cuts me off on the highway the rush of adrenalin triggered will help sharpen my senses and help me to control the car and stay safe. If that rush goes on so long that it overwhelms my system and I end up on the side of the road crying for 45 minutes because I almost died, the reaction produced is out of proportion.

I want and need my emotions. They are an important part of how I navigate the world. I don't want to be free of them.

What Is Important In The End

I have arrived at a point where I mostly just call what I do tapping, because I don't tap in exactly the way Gary Craig originally taught. But again, that is less important.

What is more important is the fact that we have a clear understanding of what the goal of tapping is. For me, the goals are:

  • to help my emotions to show up in a proportional and well-informed way
  • to create the space to hear the message these emotions are trying to convey
  • to release any useful or limiting beliefs about about myself and the world
  • to take the actions I want to take with confidence

I know that if I tap regularly on my emotions, issues, and beliefs, then that will happen. If that happens, then it doesn't matter if we call it tapping, EFT or Chad. It only matters that I am living the life I want.

Keeping Calm

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One of the highlights of my recent visit to London was getting to visit the Churchill War Rooms. It was amazing to get that close to history.

There and everywhere else in London where tourists gathered you could find recreations of the World War II posters “Keep Calm and Carry On”. Though little used during WWII (full history) it made its way back into the public eye in 2000.

Here are two fun (or cheesy, depending on your point of view) twists on the posters. Feel free to use and share them however you like.

Version 1

Version 2

My Holiday Embarrassment

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I spent the Christmas holiday in my home state of Wyoming. The last night I was home my sister asked if I could share a way she could tap for a friend who was grappling with a lot of difficult changes in his life.

I spent about 30 minutes talking my sister (and my mother) through the “Talk About, Talk To, Talk As If” tool.

My sister then asked if it would a good idea if we tapped for a family member, “Bob,” who was having a particularly hard time.

It hit me like a ton of bricks… not only could Bob use some surrogate tapping, so could so many people in my life. And not just the people who were having a really tough time.

In the “My EFT Year” project I am obviously making it a priority to look at my goals but somehow I had lost track of what was outside me.

Then my mother asked if anyone has ever tried tapping on world peace… and again I felt crushed by disappointment. I knew things like this had been done before (see crime reduction in Washington, DC).

Years ago I even created the website Tapping4Peace.com encouraging people to do just that.

I regularly tap surrogately for people who ask, but somehow I lost my way in just tapping for others in my life.

For the last week I have been finding a little time each day to tap for others. I am not doing anything too complicated, just thinking of a loved one and of all the wonderful things I would like to show up in their life, and tapping.

It only takes two or three minutes.

It is really that simple.

By doing this regularly it has changed my daily disposition and has helped me to act in a more loving way.

Give it a try.

It will only take two minutes.

And let me know below how it goes.

Self Sabotage: The Number One Issue I Use EFT For (And How I Get Past It)

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Good morning!

Don't you hate it when you get in your own way?

You know what you want, you know the right steps to take, and you just don't take action.

(And to make matters worse, you then beat yourself up for not doing what you need to do.)

I use EFT first and foremost for self sabotage.

Not only do I tap on self sabotage every day, it is the one thing that has made the most profound impact in my life.

I want to teach you how I deal with self sabotage.

I have created a 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide” and I would like you to have it free of charge.

Here is how you can receive it.

If you sign up you will also receive the 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide”.

Starting the day you sign up, you will receive an email every other day until you have all 10 parts.

This will not interrupt the regular emails I send to you. It is just an added bonus.

I Need Your Input

Since you have been around the block a few times with EFT I would really value your feedback. Let me know how the steps are working for you, what is going well, what needs improvement, and in which places you think I have completely lost my mind.

Just reply to any of the emails to let me know your thoughts.

Sign up now! I know you want to stop the self sabotage. Get started on knocking it out.

As always, let me know what I can do for you!

Are You Entitled to Success? Passive Entitlement v. Active Entitlement

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our minds, giving us opportunities for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

photo by SweetCakery

In a recent episode of “Making It w/ Riki Lindhome” Riki and Pete Holmes were talking about the idea of entitlement. They were discussing the sense of entitlement that many young actors have when they first get to Hollywood. Many of them arrive in Los Angeles having been stars of their local theater scene. They think that by simply showing up they are entitled to success.

Riki made a distinction between “passive” and “active” entitlement. She stated that passive entitlement is when you show up to a situation and simply expect to get your way. For example, in a new job feeling like I should be able to work on the coolest projects.

On the other hand active entitlement is much more about what you are willing to work for. For example, who is to say that I am not capable of writing a best selling book? Writers of best sellers are not a preordained group of people who were destined for success. If I am willing to put in the work (i.e. by being active) then I, as much as anyone else, am entitled to create a best seller.

When we are in a state of passive entitlement we are not going to be able to move forward and are going to feel bitter that the universe is not giving us our just deserts. When we are in a state of active entitlement we recognize that we are capable of anything if we are willing to seize the opportunity.

To make sure that we are in a state of active entitlement we can tap on something like this:

I know that I am capable of being successful…I know that I have been made for success…but success and opportunity aren’t going to just show up at my front door…I need to seek success…I need to work for success…The universe owes me nothing more than the opportunity to work for what I am made to be…This does not mean that it must be a great struggle…This does not mean that I have to toil to achieve success…But I am entitled to success…I am entitled to opportunity…I have been made for this…I give myself permission to work actively towards the opportunities and success I am entitled to.

Action Step: What is something that you feel others are entitled too, but isn’t for you? Take a few moments to tap on it with the script above. Do it now! It will only take 90 seconds.

Can’t Keep Up? 6 Ways to Simplify Your Daily EFT Routine

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Learning EFT can be very exciting at first. Tapping is so easy.

Anyone can do it!

It can be done anywhere!

It seems to work for everything.

You download podcasts, tapping scripts, and ebooks. You start working on a personal peace procedure, listing every bad memory you have in your life. You decide you are going to tap for your health, your relationships, your creativity, and getting a better job.

And then…

It just becomes too much!

You feel overwhelmed with how much work you need to do, how far you want to go, and feeling like there is not enough time to deal with everything.

It's going to ok!

Take a big deep breath and relax…you don’t have to do it all right now!

Healing is process, not a moment. You are not going to do it all at once. It is ok to let the process unfold over time. You want a long-term, lasting fix. You don’t want something that is quick, but does not last.

Here are 6 things to help prevent you from becoming overwhelmed with tapping and the amount of change you want to bring about in your life.

1) Limit Your Daily Tapping Sessions To 7 Minutes

On an average day I spend about 7 minutes tapping. I start my day by making sure I am relaxed and calm about what is ahead. I know that on the surface it doesn’t seem like I am doing very much towards my healing process, but these 7 minutes make a huge difference.

When you start the day from a relaxed, balanced place it puts you into a state of mind where you can respond easily to the unexpected. Being able to respond more easily to the unexpected means less stress in your day. Less stress means less overreaction, and less overreaction means less stress.

When you release all the stress from your day before you go to bed you sleep better. When you sleep better you start the next day in a better place. When you start your day in a better place…well you know how it goes…see paragraph above.

I am not saying that you shouldn't go after major issues. I am not saying that you shouldn’t tap for longer than 7 minutes. You really only need to do longer tapping sessions once or twice a week. If you combine doing daily stress management with a few longer sessions each week you will make lots of progress.

Looking for help on how to tap at the beginning and end of the day? Check out these tap along audios.

2) Let Someone Else Do The Heavy Lifting

Sometimes it is hard to tap because we don’t know where to start. There is so much that we can’t find an entry point. When this happens give your mind a break and let someone else come up with the tapping phrases. Did you know that there are over 35 free tap along audios on this site? Well, now you do. Pick one, hit play, and let the audio do the hard work.

3) It's All About Love And Acceptance

Recently I did an interesting interview with Steve Wells on Self Acceptance. Steve proposed that the root of all issues is that we don’t fully love and accept ourselves.

On some level, when we hear this, it might make us shudder. There is nothing about tapping that my clients complain about more than having to say “I love and accept myself …” as part of the set up phrase.

I don’t know if I fully agree with Steve, but I think one of the reasons that we struggle with saying the set up phrase is because we find loving and accepting ourselves difficult.

If you don’t enjoy saying the set up phrase or if you are looking for an easy, concise set of phrases to tap to visit the set up phrase generator. Each time you reload the page it will give you 10 unique tapping set up phrases. Tap through the list. After you have finished, just refresh the page and it will generate 10 more. Do that two or three more times. It takes less than 5 minutes, you will feel great and will not become overwhelmed with having to dive into lots of issues.

4) Give Yourself Permission To Tap For Just One Issue At A Time

Many of the issues we have are intertwined. When we work on one part, we are working on the whole. It's ok to give yourself permission to let the healing process unfold over time. It is very easy to feel like we are not doing enough each time we sit down to tap. If that is what you are dealing with then start your tapping session with this:

I give myself permission to know that it is a healing process…not a healing moment…I give myself permission to know that I don't have to do it all today…I don't have to clear it all in one session…I know that if I do a little work today it is going to get me closer to the health and freedom that I want…Each time I tap I am going to clear a little more…each session is going to build on the last…I don't have to do it all right now…

5) Basket/Container Tapping

One of my favorite tools is to tap for all your issues at once. It is a very simple technique that is often called the basket or container technique. Here is audio instruction for the Container Process.

6) Tap Without Tapping

Did you know you can tap without having to tap? It is possible to tap by just imagining you are tapping. It is also possible to find relief without having to tune into a specific issue. Once you learn it from this short audio you will be able to do it anytime, anywhere and it will only look like you are sitting quietly with your eyes closed. It's so funky it doesn't have a name, but you will love it! Listen to it now.

EFT Script Generator

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Are you having trouble coming up with tapping phrases? Here is a simple solution: think of an emotion that you would like to work on, such as anger, sadness, feeling overwhelmed etc., and answer the questions that follow. Once you have answered all of the questions, hit submit and *poof* there is a tapping script!

Name a negative emotion:

Describe in detail what happened in a situation where you felt this emotion:

Describe in detail how it affected you when it happened:

Describe in detail how it is effecting you now:

Describe in detail all of the negative outcomes of what happened when it happened:

Describe in detail all of the negative outcomes you are experiencing today from this situation:

Describe in detail how you feel about the outcomes:

Describe in detail all possible future negative outcomes from what happened:

Describe in detail how you feel about these possible future outcomes:

If you had the power to change anything about this situation describe in detail how you change it:

The Minimalist Guide to Tapping to Avoid Getting Sick: 3 Things You Can Do Every Day In 90 Seconds

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photo by Doug88888

There are lots of ways to tap for our physical health. Personally, I have a tapping script that is almost 2000 words long that I tap through morning and evening during the cold and flu season (especially when I am traveling and/or spending lots of time with germy students).

But it doesn't have to be that complicated. Here are three simple things you can do which will make a huge difference in keeping you healthy.

Wash Your Hands Before You Tap

There are tapping points very close to our mouths and noses so before we start touching our faces it is a good idea to wash our hands. (Yes, with soap, hot water, and for at least 30 seconds just like your mother taught you!) In addition to keeping germs away from your mouth and nose, you will also wash the oil and grime off your hands before tapping which will help prevent your face from turning into a tapping chart with each point highlighted by a pimple.

Tapping Before You Eat

You are what you eat! All sorts of things can get into your system by piggy-backing on to your food. I have found it very effective to tap with and for my food right before I eat.

As with all tapping, the key is to tune into the issue at hand and tap. With food all we need to do is look at the food we are about to eat (you can even hold the plate in your non-tapping hand), concentrate on the food, and tap. By bringing your attention to the plate of food (and whatever else is on the food) you are bringing it into the thought field for tapping. I normally do one or two quick rounds of tapping and then eat.

[Note: As a bonus I might also tap on the phrase, “May this food feed my dreams, health and well being AND not feed any of my fears.]

Give Your Body A Pep Talk AND Unleash Its Healing Powers

I have found it super helpful to let the body know that it is made for healing, that I want it to be healthy, and for it to know that it has permission to unleash its healing powers right now and throughout the day. I tap on something as simple as this:

I know my system is made for health and well being…I know my system was created to be a healing machine…Much of the healing it does happens in unconscious and subconscious ways…I thank my system for doing this in a way that I don't need to think about…I give my system permission to unleash its healing powers…I give my system permission to do what it needs to do to keep moving me towards health and well being…if my system needs anything to help the healing process all it needs to do is ask…I want to know what my system needs to be healthier…I love my system…I know it is a healing rock star…Do your thing!!!

Does that seem a little silly? Yes. Does it work? Yes!

Add these three simple things to your daily routine and it will make a huge difference to your level of energy and health.

Let me know what tricks and tips you use when tapping to get healthy or stay healthy.

5 Regrets Of The Dying – Tap For Them Now So You Don’t Have Them Later

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photo by Takras

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”.

With any thought, none of these seem very surprising. They even sound a little clichéd, but clichés are clichés for a reason.

Here are the five most reported regrets at death according to Bronnie. I have added tapping scripts for each.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

There are so many expectations placed on me…what I need to do…and who I need to be…some of these come from my family…some of these come from my friends…some of these come from cultural norms…and some come from what I think the right and proper thing to do…even if I don't know where these ideas come from…but there is a better way…there is a life that I want to live…that is the right life for me…I am not saying it is the right life for everyone else…I just know it is the right life for me…There is a part of me that is worried that if I follow the path that is right for me that I am going to let others down…I am going to disappoint loved ones…they might even get mad at me…tell me that I am foolish…and even cut me out of their lives…but I know that I am not going to be truly happy until I follow my own path…I give myself permission to start to pursue my own path…to become who I want and need to be…I know there are reasons that others have a view of what my life should be…but I need to make the right choices for me…I give myself permission to move forward toward the life I know is right for me…even if I don't have a clear vision of exactly what that is…or exactly how to get it…I need to start moving towards the life that is right for me…I don't need to live for other people…I need to start living for me…I need to start moving towards the life I want to live…it doesn't matter that I haven't started yet…it is not too late.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I take a lot of pride in how hard I work…I know working hard is important…and when I say work I don't just mean the job I do…I work hard in lots of areas of my life…there is value in working hard…there is value taking pride in the work I do…for generations people have put value in how hard we work…I know my parents talked about hard work…it can be embarrassing to look like I am taking the easy way out…it can be embarrassing to know that people around me are working harder that I am…it is like I am not carrying my weight…like I am not carrying the same amount as others…if I am not working hard…I must be a slacker…but there are a number of things that I work hard to do that it would be ok if I didn't do them…or if I didn't work as hard at them…when I work hard I do it so I can take care of my family…so I can provide for myself…to get ahead…and so that I can be recognized by others as doing a good job…but there are a number of things that I work hard at that no one notices…there are things that I work hard at that aren’t really important in the long term…it is not going to be the end of the world if I don’t stay late at work tonight…it is not going to be the end of the world if I don’t clean every part of the house before my guests get here…it is not going to be the end of the world if I take it a little easy…Most of the time when I work hard other people don’t notice…and when they think I am not working hard enough…they feel bad because they aren’t willing to work less hard…and they blame me by calling me a slacker…because they feel bad that they didn’t choose to work less hard…hard work is a value..hard work is important…but it is not the only value…and it is not the most important value…I give myself permission to not work so hard…there are many other things in life I need to enjoy.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Sometimes it can be hard to express my feelings…I am afraid that I am going to be judged…I am afraid that others are going to make fun of me…I am afraid that I am not going to be heard…I am afraid that I am going to be misunderstood…I am afraid that I am going to be ignored…I am afraid that I am going to share something and it is going to be used against me in the future…I know that when I express my feelings I am better understood…I know that when I express my feelings I let people know who I really am…I know that when I express my feelings it gives others permission to do the same…I know that when I express my feelings things don’t get built up in my head…I know that when I express my feelings my thoughts don’t bounce around the echo chamber that is my head and get distorted into much worse thoughts….this does not mean that I am going to tell everyone everything…this does not mean that I always wear my emotions on my sleeve…this only means that I know that there are people in my life it is safe to share my emotions with…I know there are people in my life who will hear what I have to say with an open heart…I know there are relationships that will grow and deepen if I take some time and share my emotions…I give myself permission to share what I am feeling more…I give myself permission to know it is healthy for me to share my emotions more.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

There are lots of people who used to be in my life who I am no longer in touch with…some have moved away…some I no longer work with…and others have just drifted away because of the business of life…I enjoy their company…some make me happy…some challenge me…some are funny…and some I have a great deal of history with…I know life is really busy…I know their lives are really busy…but I get so much out of the time I spend talking with them or being with them…Yes, it is hard to make time…but I know there are people who I need to reconnect with…I know it is hard to find an hour to call them…or a few hours to visit them…but I know it will be worthwhile to carve out time to reconnect…it will strengthen our connection…and it will be good for me…it will be good for them…There are people in my life who I haven't lost touch with…but I don't see them as much as I would like…I give myself permission to make it a priority to connect with them…I give myself permission put other things aside to spend time with the friends that I love…sure there are things that need to be done around the house…sure there are tasks that need to be done…but the world is not going to end if I don't do them…I need to spend time with the people I love…it will be good for me…it will be good for them…I am not going to feel too bad if I don't get the tasks around the house done…but I am going to regret losing touch with the people I love…I know it should be a priority…and I am going to make it a priority…it isn't the only thing I need to do…and I don't have to doing it all the time…but I need to do it more…it is a priority…I give myself permission to make it a priority.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

On some level I know that my emotions are my choice…I don’t control everything in the world…I don’t control everything that happens to me…but I can control how I react…Being happy is a choice…being happy is something that I can allow myself to do…but there are times where I choose to be serious…there are times where I choose to be in control…I worry that if I allow myself to be happy that I will become content and not try to move forward…I worry that if I allow myself to be happy I will lose focus and not get things done…It is possible to be happy and focused…it is possible to be happy and productive…it is possible to be happy and be safe…I give myself permission to be happy more…it costs me next to nothing to be happy…and it gives me so much…I choose to allow myself to be happier more.

Take one of these scripts right now and tap with it. It will make you feel lighter and help you to get more out of the moment you are living so you have less regret later.

Tap Like Donald Trump: 5 Ways To Love Yourself

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There is no question that Donald Trump's public persona is one in which he thinks a great deal of about himself. I don't think it is a bad thing.

Sometimes I wonder if he is over-compensating for something else by talking such a big game about himself and his success. More than likely that is just my own insecurities being projected ontohis braggadociosness.

When it comes to seeking out teachers and role models for healing, growth, and self love Donald Trump probably isn't in the first six hundred thousand names that would come to mind. Regardless what you think of “The Donald” he reminds us of some great lessons that we can learn about loving ourselves. Here are few of my favorites.

Take a few moments to read through the following quotes and, more importantly (!), take a few moments to tap through the scripts. It will put you in a state of mind that will have your ready to move forward.

[Note: I did the best I could to verify that these are in fact Donald Trump quotes but it is possible that I have misquoted or misattributed some of them.]

“Anyone who thinks my story is anywhere near over is sadly mistaken.”

Every movie has that moment when the main character feels like they have missed their chance. If they would have only said that one thing or done that one thing it would be different.

Inevitably, by the end they have another chance.

We are no different. Our story isn't over. We can love ourselves knowing the story isn't perfect and isn't over.

My story isn't over…it hasn't worked out perfectly to this point…it feels like there are missed opportunities…it feels like these chances will never come again…but my story is not done…I am the author of my life…and I am going to create the ending I want…the fact that I have missed opportunities and made bad choices in the past…will only make it a better story when it all works out the way I want.

“As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”

It takes a certain self belief to think we are worthy of better and more. There are few things that I find easier to underestimate than my own worth and ability. The hardest part of change and moving forward is the act of change. We are leaving the familiar and routine.

If we are going to take the effort to change, we might as well make it worthwhile. If we are going to dream we are worthy (and worthy of more) we might as was well go for dreaming big.

I want my life to be better…but sometimes it feels like I am asking for too much…I am dreaming too big…I am worthy of big dreams…it takes the same effort to dream small as to dream big…I give myself permission to dream big…even if I don't get everything in my big dream…I will be closer to what I really want.

“The point is that you can't be too greedy.”

Greedy feels like an ugly word. When we use the word greedy we are usually describing someone who is taking more than they deserve and taking from those in need. This might be true if there was a limit to resources, but there is not. There is more than enough and most of the time when we are adding to our life we are not stealing from others.

It is easy to talk ourselves out of moving forward because we think “we have enough”, “we have more than others”, or “we need to appreciate more what we have.” It is okay to know you are worthy of more. You don't have to call it greedy, it is great that you want better in your life.

I am worried that if I get more in my life people are going to see me as greedy…It is going to look like I think I am better than others…it feels like I am depriving those in need…it feels like I am not appreciative of what I have…It is good that I want more and better in my life…it is good that I know I am worthy of more and better…it is not being greedy…it is becoming who I truly am.

“I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is.”

We are not our past. Our past choices have informed who we are. Our past choices have created the current situation of our life. Who we are is the choices we make right now. We can choose to be something we have never been before in a moment.

This isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it is possible. It requires us to love ourselves enough to know we can be different…and we can.

I am not my past…My past informs who I am…My past informs how others see me…My past has helped to create where I am right now…I have learned many things from my past…But I am not my past…I get to be whatever I want in this moment…I don't need to be a prisoner of my past…In this moment I give myself permission to make a new choice…To be someone new…To know that I can take all the lessons from my past…and become someone who I want to be…In this moment…With new choices.

“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that's more productive.”

I hate failing, especially when I fail in a very public way. We tell our friends what we are going to do and then we bump into obstacles that are unexpected or we realize it isn't what we wanted after all.

When this happens it is really hard to walk away. We have already spent a lot of time working towards to the goal. It will feel like a waste if we walk away. It will feel like we are failure. But it doesn't have to be that way.

It is okay to believe we are better than what we have committed to in the past. If the goal no longer serves us it is okay to let it go. That is not a failure. It is a statement that we are worthy of better than these outdated goals.

It is hard when our plans don't work out…it is hard when we don't reach the goals we have named…but there are going to be things that no longer serve us…It is going to be best for us if we walk away from these past efforts…At the moment it might feel like we have wasted our time…And we need to stick with it because we have invested so much…But in reality we need to move on…To free ourselves up to move closer to the goals that now serve us better…It is okay okey to let old un-useful goals and projects go if they are no longer useful to me…this is for the best…We need to love ourselves enough to let it go…To work towards what is best for us.

* * * *

Now that you have tapped through these 5 scripts there is one more thing you can do to help get more comfortable in your own skin. Take a moment and tap trough these 10 randomly generated phrases. (If you would like more phrases just refresh this web page and will generate ten more.)

Even though I have this issue and part of me doesn't want to heal this
I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be stuck here forever

I forgive myself for being this way
Even though I have this issue and I don't know what is causing it

I'm open to receiving inner guidance on how I can learn and grow with less judgment
Even though I have this issue and I am afraid of change

I choose to start taking back my power
Even though I have this issue and part of me doesn't want to heal this

Even though I can hardly think
I choose to see that it has been really hard for me and that is ok to admit

I am still a wonderful person
Even though I am worried it is never going to change

Even though I'm afraid I this won't work and I'll never be well
I'm open to receiving inner guidance on how I can learn and grow with less judgment

Even though I have this issue and I can't take it anymore
I choose to be easy with myself

I'm choosing to have compassion for myself even though I can't yet love and accept myself
Even though I have this issue and I want it to stop

Even though I have this issue and I want it to stop
I love and accept myself

What We Can Learn About Healing And Growth From The Actor Who Said “I Am Not Taking That Feedback” To Her Friends And Family

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Riki Lindhome is a delightful actor, comedian, and musician. She has a podcast called Making It in which she interviews actors, directors, stand-up comedians, and casting directors about how their careers have unfolded and what lessons they have learned along the way.

On more than one occasion on the podcast Riki has related a story from the beginning of her own career. Early on she realized that she was a long way from where she wanted to be and her dreams of being a full time actor seemed like a long shot. As she tells it, naturally her confidence wasn’t super high. Friends and family would offer what they thought, were helpful pieces of advice like “Oh that is going to be really hard”, “Make sure you get a good degree” and “Have you considered other careers?”

Riki would tell them, “I am not accepting those statements right now. If you don’t have something that is helpful or encouraging to say you are going to have to keep it to yourself.”

How awesome is that?!?

She had enough sense to see that the things her loved ones were going to say to her were only going to nurture the already planted seeds of doubt and make things even harder.

Our loved ones often say things to us that they believe are helpful, encouraging, or they think by warning us of possible danger they are keeping us safe. In reality they aren’t being helpful, and often make us feel worse than we already feel.

It is good that we have people in our lives who are worried for us and want the best for us. Just because they want the best for us doesn’t mean they know what is best for us or that they are being helpful. We can appreciate their concerns, without, in Riki’s words, “accepting those types of statement at this time.”

Here is a tapping script to help you get into a place where you can let loved ones know you appreciate their concern but that you need to make choices for yourself.

I know the people in my life want what is best for me…They want me to be safe…They want me to be happy…But they want in their terms…They see what is possible through their eyes…They see what is possible through their experience…They don’t know what is right for me…Because I have my own definition of that…This doesn’t mean I know exactly where I am going…This doesn’t mean that I am totally confident in the path I have chosen…But it is my path…That I have chosen for myself…I give myself permission to let the people in my life know that I appreciate that they want what is best for me…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that at this time their feedback isn’t helpful…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that I am not accepting any comments from them at this time that are not encouraging…It might be hard to tell my loved ones this…But it is the best thing for me…If they truly want what is best for me…They are going to accept follow my request…I know that from time to time I am going to need to remind them that I am not accepting that type of feedback…But it is the best thing for me…I wouldn’t eat junk food before I run a race…And I am not taking anything that isn’t supportive or healthy for my dreams…I need to choose what I am taking in to make sure I reach my goal.

I would love to hear how loved ones in your life have tried to be helpful but ended up being undermining to you. How did you combat their comments to keep moving in the right direction?

Tap Like Dr. Phil: 5 Ways to Cut Through BS

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I heard Dr. Phil interviewed once and he was talking about how an interviewer was badgering him about the fact that all he does is repeat common sense. His response was, “Thank you very much!”

It is very easy to see Dr. Phil as a clown and a caricature of himself, but I think we dismiss him at our peril. I have always been very impressed with what he has to say and even more impressed with his ability to cut to the chase.

We can make things too complicated (or at least I do). Here are 5 things that Dr. Phil can teach us about tapping and caring for ourselves.

[Note: According to the internet these are all Dr. Phil quotes. I did my best to verify. I apologise if any are misattributed or misquoted.]

“It’s a choice. You just have to decide that I’m not going to put my energy there. I’m going to decide to let this go. It’s your choice. You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city, or you can just say ‘I’m going to live my life and be happy’”

Our emotional state is a choice. I think this statement is often misunderstood. It is not as simple as ‘I want to be happy therefore I will think happy thoughts’. It is much more like being in a new location. If I want to be in my backyard I need to choose to go to the backyard and then decide to stay there. If we don’t like our emotional state we need to do something to make it different.

It is our responsibility to get ourselves to the new emotional state. Sometimes it takes more work to move forward than other times, but it is up to us. The first step is to choose to be emotionally different and start moving. Even if we don’t know how to do it we can start by tapping on:

I know that my emotional state is my choice. . .even if it doesn’t feel like it is in this moment. . .the emotions I am feeling right now are information about how I am experiencing the world. . .I want to do that in a different way. . .I am not sure what the first steps are. . .but recognizing that I have some control is going to make all the difference. . .

This is to get you moving towards the place you want to be, but you must make the choice first that you are going to be in control.

“You generate the results in your life that you believe you deserve.”

I often say to my clients, “It is impossible to receive a gift when you don’t feel you are worthy of it.” If there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are worthy of something that part is going to sabotage you and prevent it from happening. The first step to getting something new and better is to make sure you feel emotionally worthy of that new and better.

I love starting a tapping session with:

I am worthy of change. . .I am worthy of better. . .I am where I am. . .but that doesn’t mean I have to stay stuck here. . .Even if my choices are what brought me here. . .I am allowed to move on from this. . .I give myself permission to have great vision for my life. . .I am worthy of better. . .I give myself permission to believe in better.

If you are still having trouble with moving past this check out: Layers Of Resistance

“If you want more you have to require more of yourself.”

There are people in your life who want better for you. There are people who are willing to help. But there is only one person who is responsible for your change and transformation: YOU!

Your life is not going to get better just by hoping, wishing, dreaming and visualizing. You have to take action and you have to be taking more action than you are right now. This doesn’t mean you have to do it all in the next three hours. The new action can be as simple as doing 5 minutes of tapping before you go to bed to get a better night’s sleep which will lead to more energy and better choices tomorrow. Just tap like this:

I know I want better. . .I want more. . .I need to be the one who makes this happen. . .I don’t have to do it all by myself. . .I can get help from others. . .It is good that I get help from others. . .but the one person who is most invested in my progress and success is me. . .I deserve to have better and more. . .I need to require more of myself. . .even if it is something small each day. . .I can do it. . .with small steps.

You just need to do something. Expect more of yourself, hold yourself accountable, and do it. (I know you can do it!)

“You can't change what you don't acknowledge.”

A very common question from tapping beginners is “Why do I have to say the negative? I want to focus on the positive!” [for a full discussion on why we use negative phrases and why tapping is needed see Why Do I Have To Tap?]

We can’t change something that we haven’t named. Yes, it sucks to say, write, or mentally admit the things that are wrong in our life. Just the thought of those things can bring us down and sometimes we can slip into wallowing. To have better we have to name what is wrong. If that seems scary here is a way you can tap for it:

Right now I am struggling with a number of things. . .There is a part of me that doesn’t want to admit it is there. . .when I think about what isn’t working I have to admit things are not going right. . .I have to look at the part that is no fun. . .it can pull me down. . .and sometimes I get stuck in negative feelings. . .and it can be hard to crawl out. . .but I am not thinking of what is wrong to just wallow in it. . .I am not thinking of what is wrong to punish myself. . .I am doing it because I know I need to name the areas of my life that need improving before I can change them. . .This is the first step to getting something better. . .As I think of what isn’t working I am going to tap a bit. . .this will help me not slip into an emotional funk. . .I am thinking of what is wrong as a stepping stone to what I want. . .

“The most you get is what you ask for.”

This is true with others and this is true with ourselves. It can be hard to ask for things. We feel like we need do everything on our own, that if we were worthy of something we would make it happen, or if they wanted to help us they would do it without asking.

If you have a hard time asking for help or better it is great tap-able issue. Here is a tap along for just this: What Would I Choose For Today?

Take Action

Regardless of what you think about Dr. Phil his sense of needing to take action, take control, and take responsibility for your life is something we can all strive for. You don't have to do it all at once, but if you take the time to tap to a few of these scripts you will create space to take action.

Do you have a favorite Dr. Phil quote, favorite way of cutting through the BS, or feel one of these quotes motivating you? Let me know below in the comments.

5 Things You Must Know Before Doing EFT With Children and Teens

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photo by Fine Shots

Tapping with children can be a very rewarding experience. In many cases children take to tapping much faster than adults because they are more willing to try new things and aren’t hung up on why something is working. They just want to feel better.

Here are five things to keep in mind when teaching kids to tap. (Note: All five lessons below are hard won. I know them to be true because I have done the opposite of all 5 at one point.)

1) They Are Smarter Than You Think

I recently spoke to 600 middle school students about bullying. To start the presentation I talked about why bullies bully. I talked about what happens on an emotional level and how that affects our choices. At the end of the presentation the children broke up into to small groups with their adults to talk about what they can do to stop bullying in their schools. After the small group time a number of the adults walked up to me to express how surprised they were with the complexity of thoughts the kids had, the emotions they experienced, and how overall thoughtful they were.

Kids don't have the vocabulary to express their emotions and thoughts the way adults do, but they are thinking real thoughts about their lives, their emotions, and who they are. Give them space to talk about their emotions, teach them how to talk about them, and they will surprise you (in really good ways).

2) You Must Be Authentic Or They Will Tune You Out

Kids today are very savvy because of their access to information and technology. They are treated by big business as a market place and they are constantly sold to through TV and online. Because of this they have very sophisticated BS detectors and they can tell when someone is not being authentic with them.

It is very tempting to want to be cool and hip when talking with kids (especially teens), thinking you are “speaking their language”. It is just the opposite. They don't want some line or for you to talk like them. They want someone who is just being who they are, even if that means being your dorky self.

You can’t ask a child to honest with their emotions and be comfortable inside their own skin unless you are willing to try to do the same.

3) Your Job Is To Love Them; Not Be Loved By Them

When we are working with teens or children we are doing it because we want better for them. That is the goal. Nothing more. Nothing less. We are not trying to be their friend and we are not trying to gain their admiration. We have our own friends and peers for that. This doesn't mean that we act like jerks or that we don't care, forgetting to treat them with respect. Sometimes wanting the best for someone is asking them to do difficult things and things they might not enjoy.

To help them heal we need their respect, not their love and affection. It is ok to be comfortable with that notion.

4) Teach Them Tools

Children (and most people) don't care how or why tapping works. They are just looking for something that makes them feel better. When working with kids and teens give them tools. They don't need theory. They want to be better, happier, and healthier. Once they know the tool works they might ask you how it works and why.

I love coming up with little processes that are easy to follow.

For example, a great way for parents to teach kids to tap for themselves is have them tap and explain four things whilst they are tapping.

  • * What was the best part of the day?
  • * What was the worst part of the day?
  • * What are they looking forward to tomorrow?
  • * What are they worried about tomorrow?

Very simple. It is easy to remember and easy to do. Once they have the tools they can take care of themselves.

5) Start With How The Emotions Feel In The Body

As I said above, children (and many adults) don't have the skill or vocabulary to talk about their emotions as emotions. I like to have them talk about how the emotions feel in the body to help them to tune in.

They might not have the vocabulary to talk about the disappointment that comes with poor grades vs. fighting with a friend. They might call both of these emotions “mad”. But if you get them to talk about how it feels in the body they will be able to be more specific. By describing where the emotion is in the body (head, hands, stomach…) and how it feels in these places (heavy, tight, hot…) they will be much more successful with their tapping.

Go For It

You don't have to be perfect when working with teens or children. They are looking for adults who care about them and care about their well being. Show up from a place of love, treat them with respect, and be ready for lots of questions and you will be a great tapping teacher and tapping role model for them.

What have you found works well when tapping with kids? What mistakes have you made from which you have learned? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to know what you think!

Things Your Inner Child Needs To Hear You Say

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photo by Tony Trần

[Note: This is part 4 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each part of our system and tap for it. ]

We are not just who we are now, but a sum total of all that has happened. There are parts of us that are still clinging to the past as if it is still happening. Many times when working with clients we find our way to working with the younger self. Much of who we are today is informed by our younger years. BUT it is not who we are in totality and our past is not written in stone in such a way that it can never be changed.

I have found it very helpful to speak to my younger self. It is important to let it know that it is allowed to grow, change, and absorb the wisdom of my older self. This is how I tap for and with my inner child. Take a deep breath and just tune in to the younger you.

You are safe…There is no judgment here…You are allowed to share what everyou want…And you are allowed to share nothing…You are safe…There is no judgment of you here…There is only love…I want you to know you are not alone…You are safe…You are loved…You are allowed to think what you want…You are allowed to say what you want…You are allowed to feel what you need to feel…I am here for you…You are safe…There is no judgment for you here.

You are allowed to ask for what you need…It can be big…It can be small…It can be nothing at all…You are allowed to ask for what you need…

You have access to all the information and resources we have gained in our life…I have progressed so much in my life…I have gained wisdom…I have learned lessons…I want you to have access to all this information…Because you are me…You have permission to bring all that I know now to the past and what I went through…I know some of this information is going to contradict what you believe…And what you have been told…Just because important adults in your life said it is true, doesn’t mean it is true…Trust our new wisdom…We have lived it…We know its truth…

If you need anything you can ask…Anytime…I want you to know you are loved…And safe…There is no judgment of you here

I asked a number of friends and fellow practitioners what they would like to say to their inner child. Take a deep breath and tap along:

You are doing the best you know how to do. Even when you make mistakes you're not doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you.
Jade Barbee

I see you, I honor you. I honor how hard it was for you and all the things you wanted but could not get. I am open to hearing exactly what you still need today and learning how to ask for that need to be met in my life right now. And, in this present moment, I see and honor the beautifully unique and brilliant qualities you have, but learned to keep hidden because it was not safe. I give you permission to totally shine right now with me, because I love you and I understand!
Margaret M. Lynch

You are special, you are loved
Pamela Bruner

You are safe. You are loved. You are perfect. All is well. You are not alone. I am always here.
Rev. Anne Presuel

Trust that what comes to my heart is right for me. The decisions I make can't be connected to what others might think of me.
Tammy Evevard

“You are safe and I, the grown-up, am here to take care of you.
I'm really really sorry that you went through this alone. I'm here now for you.
What you have to say is really really important to me. I'm listening.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be really really really mad. It's okay to be really really really really mad.
Is it okay if I sit next to you for a bit?
Deborah Donndelinger

You are awesome, you matter, and you are worthy and deserving of the best life has to offer.
Brad Yates

“Our life was not designed to be as hard as we make it. We complicate everything with our need to feed our insatiable ego. Often times we become convinced that we must always win, be right, or be considered important in order to be happy.
Life was meant to be simple. We were created to love one another..not to separate ourselves from others. We were created to serve one another…not to be served. We were created to be grateful for the life we have..not lamenting for the things we don't have. We were created to be joyful…not to be creatures of our own fear.
Life is beautiful. I just need to get out of my own way to see it.
Quit being afraid of living a much more simple life.”
John Roedel

You are loved, you are safe, know that I am deeply interested in you, that I love listening to you and that this is only the beginning. Oh and also – that there is always time for play!
Rhona Clews

It is safe to be seen, safe to accept the challenges life offers and really, you can be powerful and kind at the same time.
Andy Bryce

What are the things your inner child needs to hear? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

A Thousand Paper Cuts Would Be Better Than Tapping On These Issues – Issues To Be Tapped On Someday

by

photo by Justin See

We all have them…

A list of tappable issues that we just never seem to get around to tapping for.

Some of the issues are really big and others are teeny-tiny.

At this moment I don’t care why you aren’t tapping for them; that is a conversation for
another time.

You can do some work on them without having to deal with specifics AND do it right now before any other resistance pops up.

Get a pen and piece of paper. Name the issues you don’t want to tap on.

Make a list.

Don’t think too much.

Just make the list.

Write. Write. Write.

If you are reading this you are not writing…add 3 more things to your list.

Re-read your list.

Take a deep breath.

And tap on this:

Some day I am going to tap on these things…Right now I am not ready…I might be worried about what I am going to unpack…I might be worried that I don’t have enough time right now…It might not feel right at the moment…I might not know where to start…I might not know what the root issues are…I might need to work with someone else to clear these issues…but there is a reason that I am not tapping for these issues right now…I give myself permission to know it is ok not to tap for these right now…Some day I will get to these things…When the time is right…I know that I don’t have to tune into them right now to have some of them start to resolve themselves…I give my system permission to start to work them out on its own…I give my system permission to let me know the right time to do this work…I give my system permission to work on these issues without me having to pay attention…my system knows how to heal…and it has permission to do just that…I don't need to know about this healing…It can just happen on its own…I know that tapping will help these issues some day…that might be today…it might be later…I am easy with myself in knowing I don't have to do it right now…I will get to these issues

Take a deep breath.

Feel better? Good!

What are the issues you struggle to tap on and why? What are some of the ways you get past your resistance? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!