Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Tap Like Donald Trump: 5 Ways To Love Yourself

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There is no question that Donald Trump's public persona is one in which he thinks a great deal of about himself. I don't think it is a bad thing.

Sometimes I wonder if he is over-compensating for something else by talking such a big game about himself and his success. More than likely that is just my own insecurities being projected ontohis braggadociosness.

When it comes to seeking out teachers and role models for healing, growth, and self love Donald Trump probably isn't in the first six hundred thousand names that would come to mind. Regardless what you think of “The Donald” he reminds us of some great lessons that we can learn about loving ourselves. Here are few of my favorites.

Take a few moments to read through the following quotes and, more importantly (!), take a few moments to tap through the scripts. It will put you in a state of mind that will have your ready to move forward.

[Note: I did the best I could to verify that these are in fact Donald Trump quotes but it is possible that I have misquoted or misattributed some of them.]

“Anyone who thinks my story is anywhere near over is sadly mistaken.”

Every movie has that moment when the main character feels like they have missed their chance. If they would have only said that one thing or done that one thing it would be different.

Inevitably, by the end they have another chance.

We are no different. Our story isn't over. We can love ourselves knowing the story isn't perfect and isn't over.

My story isn't over…it hasn't worked out perfectly to this point…it feels like there are missed opportunities…it feels like these chances will never come again…but my story is not done…I am the author of my life…and I am going to create the ending I want…the fact that I have missed opportunities and made bad choices in the past…will only make it a better story when it all works out the way I want.

“As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”

It takes a certain self belief to think we are worthy of better and more. There are few things that I find easier to underestimate than my own worth and ability. The hardest part of change and moving forward is the act of change. We are leaving the familiar and routine.

If we are going to take the effort to change, we might as well make it worthwhile. If we are going to dream we are worthy (and worthy of more) we might as was well go for dreaming big.

I want my life to be better…but sometimes it feels like I am asking for too much…I am dreaming too big…I am worthy of big dreams…it takes the same effort to dream small as to dream big…I give myself permission to dream big…even if I don't get everything in my big dream…I will be closer to what I really want.

“The point is that you can't be too greedy.”

Greedy feels like an ugly word. When we use the word greedy we are usually describing someone who is taking more than they deserve and taking from those in need. This might be true if there was a limit to resources, but there is not. There is more than enough and most of the time when we are adding to our life we are not stealing from others.

It is easy to talk ourselves out of moving forward because we think “we have enough”, “we have more than others”, or “we need to appreciate more what we have.” It is okay to know you are worthy of more. You don't have to call it greedy, it is great that you want better in your life.

I am worried that if I get more in my life people are going to see me as greedy…It is going to look like I think I am better than others…it feels like I am depriving those in need…it feels like I am not appreciative of what I have…It is good that I want more and better in my life…it is good that I know I am worthy of more and better…it is not being greedy…it is becoming who I truly am.

“I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is.”

We are not our past. Our past choices have informed who we are. Our past choices have created the current situation of our life. Who we are is the choices we make right now. We can choose to be something we have never been before in a moment.

This isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it is possible. It requires us to love ourselves enough to know we can be different…and we can.

I am not my past…My past informs who I am…My past informs how others see me…My past has helped to create where I am right now…I have learned many things from my past…But I am not my past…I get to be whatever I want in this moment…I don't need to be a prisoner of my past…In this moment I give myself permission to make a new choice…To be someone new…To know that I can take all the lessons from my past…and become someone who I want to be…In this moment…With new choices.

“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that's more productive.”

I hate failing, especially when I fail in a very public way. We tell our friends what we are going to do and then we bump into obstacles that are unexpected or we realize it isn't what we wanted after all.

When this happens it is really hard to walk away. We have already spent a lot of time working towards to the goal. It will feel like a waste if we walk away. It will feel like we are failure. But it doesn't have to be that way.

It is okay to believe we are better than what we have committed to in the past. If the goal no longer serves us it is okay to let it go. That is not a failure. It is a statement that we are worthy of better than these outdated goals.

It is hard when our plans don't work out…it is hard when we don't reach the goals we have named…but there are going to be things that no longer serve us…It is going to be best for us if we walk away from these past efforts…At the moment it might feel like we have wasted our time…And we need to stick with it because we have invested so much…But in reality we need to move on…To free ourselves up to move closer to the goals that now serve us better…It is okay okey to let old un-useful goals and projects go if they are no longer useful to me…this is for the best…We need to love ourselves enough to let it go…To work towards what is best for us.

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Now that you have tapped through these 5 scripts there is one more thing you can do to help get more comfortable in your own skin. Take a moment and tap trough these 10 randomly generated phrases. (If you would like more phrases just refresh this web page and will generate ten more.)

God forgives me Even though I have this issue and others judge me for it

Even though I have this issue and it feels hopeless I know that I can find peace well-being

I choose to start taking back my power Even though I have this issue and others judge me for it

I love and accept myself Even though I have this issue and I am afraid of change

I honor myself for wanting better Even though I don't want to forgive the people that ruined my life

Even though I have this issue and I am worried it is never going to change I'm willing to consider to the possibility that I can be kind to myself anyway

Even though I won't know how to act if I get well I'm willing to consider to the possibility that I can be kind to myself anyway

I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be stuck here forever Even though I have this issue and I'm at my wits end

I am still a healing person Even though I may not accept and love myself as I am just yet

I honor myself for trying to heal Even though I have this issue and my mother always said it is going to be like this

Pod #82: How Parents Can Tap For Their Children (And Themselves) w/ Carol Tuttle

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Often when parents come to tapping they are looking for something to fix or change their children. In reality, when we are surrogate tapping for others we are making a transformation in ourselves that in turn creates space for others to change.

In this interview Carol Tuttle and I talk about how parents can use tapping for their children, themselves, and to transform all the relationships within the family.


Carol Tuttle

Guest: Carol Tuttle

Contact: web @ CarolTuttle.com; twitter @CarolTuttle; blog @ TheCarolBlog.com; radio show @ Carol Tuttles Better Parenting Show; facebook @ TheCarolTuttle

About Carol: Carol Tuttle is a 20 year pioneer in the personal development field. She is the best-selling author of “Remembering Wholeness” and the creator of Energy Profiling and Dressing Your Truth. Her legions of fans acknowledge her for making a lasting difference in their lives through her books, CDs, DVDs, home study courses and online learning portals. If you are ready to “live your truth” Carol Tuttle will help you in that pursuit.

Carol is the mother of 5 children (4 of whom are married) and has been married to Jon Tuttle for over 30 years. They are the owners of their family based business and employee their 2 sons, daughter, daughter-in-law, and son-in-law. They love the harmony and abundance they create as a family and enjoy not only working together, but playing together.

What We Can Learn About Healing And Growth From The Actor Who Said “I Am Not Taking That Feedback” To Her Friends And Family

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Riki Lindhome is a delightful actor, comedian, and musician. She has a podcast called Making It in which she interviews actors, directors, stand-up comedians, and casting directors about how their careers have unfolded and what lessons they have learned along the way.

On more than one occasion on the podcast Riki has related a story from the beginning of her own career. Early on she realized that she was a long way from where she wanted to be and her dreams of being a full time actor seemed like a long shot. As she tells it, naturally her confidence wasn’t super high. Friends and family would offer what they thought, were helpful pieces of advice like “Oh that is going to be really hard”, “Make sure you get a good degree” and “Have you considered other careers?”

Riki would tell them, “I am not accepting those statements right now. If you don’t have something that is helpful or encouraging to say you are going to have to keep it to yourself.”

How awesome is that?!?

She had enough sense to see that the things her loved ones were going to say to her were only going to nurture the already planted seeds of doubt and make things even harder.

Our loved ones often say things to us that they believe are helpful, encouraging, or they think by warning us of possible danger they are keeping us safe. In reality they aren’t being helpful, and often make us feel worse than we already feel.

It is good that we have people in our lives who are worried for us and want the best for us. Just because they want the best for us doesn’t mean they know what is best for us or that they are being helpful. We can appreciate their concerns, without, in Riki’s words, “accepting those types of statement at this time.”

Here is a tapping script to help you get into a place where you can let loved ones know you appreciate their concern but that you need to make choices for yourself.

I know the people in my life want what is best for me…They want me to be safe…They want me to be happy…But they want in their terms…They see what is possible through their eyes…They see what is possible through their experience…They don’t know what is right for me…Because I have my own definition of that…This doesn’t mean I know exactly where I am going…This doesn’t mean that I am totally confident in the path I have chosen…But it is my path…That I have chosen for myself…I give myself permission to let the people in my life know that I appreciate that they want what is best for me…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that at this time their feedback isn’t helpful…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that I am not accepting any comments from them at this time that are not encouraging…It might be hard to tell my loved ones this…But it is the best thing for me…If they truly want what is best for me…They are going to accept follow my request…I know that from time to time I am going to need to remind them that I am not accepting that type of feedback…But it is the best thing for me…I wouldn’t eat junk food before I run a race…And I am not taking anything that isn’t supportive or healthy for my dreams…I need to choose what I am taking in to make sure I reach my goal.

I would love to hear how loved ones in your life have tried to be helpful but ended up being undermining to you. How did you combat their comments to keep moving in the right direction?

Pod #81: Celebration, Law of Attraction, And A New Way To Understand It w/ Carol Look

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I think that giving thanks and celebrating big and small successes is a really important thing to do. It is also important to recognize the gifts that come with adversity when things don't work out as planned.

Last December I was lucky enough to be a guest on Carol Look’s radio program. We talk about what we mean by celebration, giving thanks, abundance, create v responsibility, and we do a lot of tapping on how we can become clear in order to make good choices in our lives to move us towards achieving the greatness we are worthy of.

Contact Carol: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT;

Side note: Personally, I am a little uncomfortable with a lot of the law of attraction language and conversation. Some it borders on the woo-woo, and some of it is downright ridiculous. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I do think I have a unique point of view, which we examine in this interview.

Pod #80: Using Sounds And Tones While Tapping w/ Andy Bryce

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For tapping to be successful we need to tune into the issue at hand. There are many tools and techniques to do this. In this interview I talk to Andy Bryce about how we can use making sounds as a way of tuning into issues and emotions. By using sounds we can find ways to describe emotions as well as tune into emotions without having to go point by point through the entire issue, which can at time be painful.

This is a very simple approach and an easy tool to add to your tapping tool box.


Andy Bryce

Guest: Andy Bryce

Contact: Web @ TappingThrough.com; Email @ andy@tappingthrough.com; Twitter @eftandybryce; Facebook @ EFTAndyBryce

About Andy: Andy Bryce has been working with personal growth, wellbeing and emotional resilience for over thirty years. For the last seventeen years, his primary toolkit has been Emotional Freedom Techniques. In 2006, Andy was certified as one of only 30 EFT Master Practitioners worldwide. Andy is also a certified mBraining Coach and P.E.T. practitioner.

Andy is a past Director of Training for AAMET, and has trained EFT practitioners in Belgium, France, Canada, USA, Mexico, Australia, Italy, Greece, South Africa and the UK as a Trainer of Trainers.

Pod #79: Reversals and Resistance w/ Lindsay Kenny

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Reversal, psychological reversal, polarity reversal, and secondary benefit are all terms which are thrown around a lot when working with tapping. They can be caused by our thoughts, what we put in our body, and the electronic devices that surround us.

It doesn't really matter what you call them, if they are present then tapping will not work very well (if at all). In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about two major types of reversals and what you can do to correct them.


Lindsay Kenny

Guest: Lindsay Kenny

Contact: web @ ProEFT.com; twitter @ProEFT

Bio: Lindsay Kenny is an EFT Master, author, and Founder of Pro EFT™, and the Pro EFT™ Institute. She’i also a Life Coach, writer, and certified Trainer of Trainers. Coming from a background of poverty, abuse and deprivation, she has used Tapping and the Law of Attraction to create the life of her dreams. Lindsay’s mission in life has been helping others be their best.

She is happy to have had the tools of tapping to fulfill her mission for the past 16 year. While Lindsay will be retiring in 2016, she is turning over the wheel to several of her highly talented, board certified practitioners. This group of Pro EFT™ Masters and Trainers is being headed by Tess Pierson, a long-time student of Lindsay and Pro EFT™. Lindsay will still be maintaining her website ProEFT.com

Here 3 other resources to help understanding reversals:

Tap Like Dr. Phil: 5 Ways to Cut Through BS

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I heard Dr. Phil interviewed once and he was talking about how an interviewer was badgering him about the fact that all he does is repeat common sense. His response was, “Thank you very much!”

It is very easy to see Dr. Phil as a clown and a caricature of himself, but I think we dismiss him at our peril. I have always been very impressed with what he has to say and even more impressed with his ability to cut to the chase.

We can make things too complicated (or at least I do). Here are 5 things that Dr. Phil can teach us about tapping and caring for ourselves.

[Note: According to the internet these are all Dr. Phil quotes. I did my best to verify. I apologise if any are misattributed or misquoted.]

“It’s a choice. You just have to decide that I’m not going to put my energy there. I’m going to decide to let this go. It’s your choice. You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city, or you can just say ‘I’m going to live my life and be happy’”

Our emotional state is a choice. I think this statement is often misunderstood. It is not as simple as ‘I want to be happy therefore I will think happy thoughts’. It is much more like being in a new location. If I want to be in my backyard I need to choose to go to the backyard and then decide to stay there. If we don’t like our emotional state we need to do something to make it different.

It is our responsibility to get ourselves to the new emotional state. Sometimes it takes more work to move forward than other times, but it is up to us. The first step is to choose to be emotionally different and start moving. Even if we don’t know how to do it we can start by tapping on:

I know that my emotional state is my choice. . .even if it doesn’t feel like it is in this moment. . .the emotions I am feeling right now are information about how I am experiencing the world. . .I want to do that in a different way. . .I am not sure what the first steps are. . .but recognizing that I have some control is going to make all the difference. . .

This is to get you moving towards the place you want to be, but you must make the choice first that you are going to be in control.

“You generate the results in your life that you believe you deserve.”

I often say to my clients, “It is impossible to receive a gift when you don’t feel you are worthy of it.” If there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are worthy of something that part is going to sabotage you and prevent it from happening. The first step to getting something new and better is to make sure you feel emotionally worthy of that new and better.

I love starting a tapping session with:

I am worthy of change. . .I am worthy of better. . .I am where I am. . .but that doesn’t mean I have to stay stuck here. . .Even if my choices are what brought me here. . .I am allowed to move on from this. . .I give myself permission to have great vision for my life. . .I am worthy of better. . .I give myself permission to believe in better.

If you are still having trouble with moving past this check out: Layers Of Resistance

“If you want more you have to require more of yourself.”

There are people in your life who want better for you. There are people who are willing to help. But there is only one person who is responsible for your change and transformation: YOU!

Your life is not going to get better just by hoping, wishing, dreaming and visualizing. You have to take action and you have to be taking more action than you are right now. This doesn’t mean you have to do it all in the next three hours. The new action can be as simple as doing 5 minutes of tapping before you go to bed to get a better night’s sleep which will lead to more energy and better choices tomorrow. Just tap like this:

I know I want better. . .I want more. . .I need to be the one who makes this happen. . .I don’t have to do it all by myself. . .I can get help from others. . .It is good that I get help from others. . .but the one person who is most invested in my progress and success is me. . .I deserve to have better and more. . .I need to require more of myself. . .even if it is something small each day. . .I can do it. . .with small steps.

You just need to do something. Expect more of yourself, hold yourself accountable, and do it. (I know you can do it!)

“You can't change what you don't acknowledge.”

A very common question from tapping beginners is “Why do I have to say the negative? I want to focus on the positive!” [for a full discussion on why we use negative phrases and why tapping is needed see Why Do I Have To Tap?]

We can’t change something that we haven’t named. Yes, it sucks to say, write, or mentally admit the things that are wrong in our life. Just the thought of those things can bring us down and sometimes we can slip into wallowing. To have better we have to name what is wrong. If that seems scary here is a way you can tap for it:

Right now I am struggling with a number of things. . .There is a part of me that doesn’t want to admit it is there. . .when I think about what isn’t working I have to admit things are not going right. . .I have to look at the part that is no fun. . .it can pull me down. . .and sometimes I get stuck in negative feelings. . .and it can be hard to crawl out. . .but I am not thinking of what is wrong to just wallow in it. . .I am not thinking of what is wrong to punish myself. . .I am doing it because I know I need to name the areas of my life that need improving before I can change them. . .This is the first step to getting something better. . .As I think of what isn’t working I am going to tap a bit. . .this will help me not slip into an emotional funk. . .I am thinking of what is wrong as a stepping stone to what I want. . .

“The most you get is what you ask for.”

This is true with others and this is true with ourselves. It can be hard to ask for things. We feel like we need do everything on our own, that if we were worthy of something we would make it happen, or if they wanted to help us they would do it without asking.

If you have a hard time asking for help or better it is great tap-able issue. Here is a tap along for just this: What Would I Choose For Today?

Take Action

Regardless of what you think about Dr. Phil his sense of needing to take action, take control, and take responsibility for your life is something we can all strive for. You don't have to do it all at once, but if you take the time to tap to a few of these scripts you will create space to take action.

Do you have a favorite Dr. Phil quote, favorite way of cutting through the BS, or feel one of these quotes motivating you? Let me know below in the comments.

Don’t Do These 10 (plus 1) Things If You Want To Fail At Teaching Tapping

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photo by Martin Deutsch

I love tapping. I want everyone to love tapping. I have seen its power in my own life and I want to share that with others.

When I was very new to tapping I made many mistakes when I was sharing about how great it is, mostly running people over with my enthusiasm! Here are 10 things you can do when you are teaching tapping to help you communicate better, create open-mindedness in those you are sharing with, and as comfort for yourself, regardless how it is received.

1) Control Your Enthusiasm

Yes, this will be hard! Tapping is really amazing. Everyone can find some use for tapping. It is the greatest thing since sliced bread!!!

(Deep breath)

When sharing about tapping it is important to keep in mind what it is like when you talk to someone who is really excited about something like vitamins, home composting, a new exercise regime, a new television show, or their favorite brand of cereal. At a certain point we start to tune them out because they go on and on and on about what they love and why it will change your life forever.

Be excited, but don't run people over (or you risk looking like a lunatic)

2) Undersell it!

This goes hand in hand with controlling your enthusiasm. I have seen some really amazing things when it comes to tapping. Some of these things are so amazing that they are unbelievable to the point that it hurts tapping’s credibility because it seems over-hyped.

I have firsthand experience with tapping in helping an autistic child go from having the verbal skills of a 20 month old to that of a 5 1/2 year old in two weeks. That is amazing AND on a lot of levels unbelievable (even to me, and I saw it with my own eyes).

In these times when over-hyping is commonplace, we have a tendency to tune out really big claims.

Remember, making a headache go away in 3 minutes without the use of drugs is amazing. Killing a craving for a life-long addiction to cigarettes in 90 seconds is unreal, even if the relief is only for a few hours.

I always start with a statement like, “I know this really weird thing that might help. It doesn’t work all the time, but it only takes 60 seconds to try. Want to see what happens?”

By doing this any success will be welcomed. If we oversell it, a “small” amount of success can feel like a let down.

3) Call Tapping “Weird”

Tapping looks and feels weird because it is weird. But that is OK. There are two very good reasons to call tapping weird.

First, you will put people at ease by naming what it is. When I am teaching someone I will say, “I know this looks so silly.” It is hard to do something that people think is silly but when we name it, it becomes OK. Second, the word ‘weird’ is hypnotizing. People want to understand weird. “Oh my gosh, this is so weird you have to try it.”

Calling tapping weird won’t drive them away, but instead it will make them more comfortable with the idea and it helps with underselling it.

4) Start With A Simple Issue

You want to show people that it works so you want to use an issue that will demonstrate results quickly. If it has persisted for years or has taken years to create, it will be harder to knock out in a few minutes.

I like to have the person take a deep breath, scan their body, and find an ache or pain. Stiffness or aches in the shoulder or neck are perfect because they are normally stress related and easy to knock out.

This gives us a chance to demonstrate success without having to recall a long memory from years ago. Remember the goal is to get them excited about tapping. Once they are on board we can go after the bigger stuff because they will be willing to give us more time and attention.

5) Make Sure The SUDs Level Is Bigger Than A Three

You want to make sure the success is big enough to be significant. Many times when something goes from a 2 to 0 it is nice, but really isn’t that big of a deal. We want the issue to be big enough that it is worth trying again.

It is important to note that we don’t have to knock the whole thing out in one round to be impressive. For some reason taking a pain that is a 6 to a 4 is more impressive than taking a 2 to 0. Because we are impacting something that is much worse it feels more significant even though the first step might be small.

6) Show Them First

There have been a number of times when I have had someone who is willing to tap but as I explained it to them how to tap and why it worked, I talked them out of it. At first they were willing to try and then all of a sudden they think, “This is too weird. I’m out of here!”

What I do is something like this:

  • find an issue
  • rate its intensity
  • tap
  • get some relief
  • say, “Isn't that weird and COOL!”

Then I start to explain what has happened. Now that they have experienced it firsthand they will be more open to something that is outside their norm because they have experienced the positive results firsthand.

7) Don't Tell Them Everything You Know

You know a lot about tapping (more than you are aware). You did not get this information from one article, one video, one ebook, or one class. Because you have seen the effectiveness of tapping in your own life you have wanted to learn more. You have had time to build your knowledge base.

You need to give the people you are teaching the same chance to learn.

Give them enough information to start and try it on their own. When they are ready for more information they will ask. We don't need them to be master tappers. They just need to be excited enough to want to learn more.

8) Follow Up

I don't remember to tap all the time (and I do this for a living). The people you teach are very new to tapping. They will forget to use tapping as well. After showing someone how to tap make sure you check in with them a few days later.

First, it will serve as a great reminder to use it. Second, it will give you a chance to answer any questions they have that they might not have been comfortable asking out of the blue.

9) Talk About Tapping Without Talking About Tapping

People learn more when they are asking questions about something because it is coming from their own curiosity. You can talk about tapping in a natural way without beating people over the head with it, which can create a situation where they are going to ask questions.

It can happen like this…you are having coffee with a friend and you are catching up. She asking how things are going. You talk about how things were going at work, the things that were stressing you out, and how this really weird tapping thing helped you.

Your friend knows what stress at work is like and how much it stinks. She wants to be stress free and will start asking questions.

The easiest person you are ever going to teach is the person who is asking you questions and wants to learn.

10) Be OK With “Just” Planting Seeds

One of the things I am noticing about tapping is that more and more people have heard about it. Not that they are doing it (or even know how to do it), but they have heard of it. The more people hear about something from multiple sources, the more credible it is in people’s minds.

You might be the first person who brings up tapping to a friend and it might take them hearing about it from 4 or 5 places before they are willing to give it a try. It is too bad that they aren’t willing to try with you, but because you have brought it up they are one more experience closer to trying it.

Sometimes you are going to teach someone to tap and other times you will just plant seeds for the moment when they are ready to give it a try. Be easy with yourself that it is OK to be a seed planter.

Bonus) Be Easy With Yourself

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to remember everything (or even these 10 ideas). Be open. Be honest. Be loving. You will find lots of people to share with.

I would love to hear your ideas about how best to share tapping with others. Click here to read what others have to say or add your own thoughts and comments. I would really love to hear what you think!

Pod #78: Being Addicted to Our Emotions w/ Stacey Vornbrock

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Emotions are more than just what we feel. When we experience an emotion there are many things happening at a biochemical and cellular level. In this interview with Stacey Vornbrock we talk about what happens physically when we feel emotions, how we can become addicted to them, and how to break that addiction. By recognizing the addictive nature of some emotions we can find see our way to new ways to tap.


Stacey Vornbrock

Guest: Stacey Vornbrock

Contact: web @ BreakthroughPerformance.net ; twitter @ StaceyVornbrock; email @ stacey@breakthroughperformance.net

Bio: Stacey Vornbrock, M.S. has been pioneering the use of EFT with professional and amateur athletes to release mental, emotional, physical, and mechanical blocks on the cellular level since 2003. She is recognized as a leading expert and innovator in the use of EFT with sports performance. Most notably, she has pioneered the application of EFT with injury and surgery recovery, releasing soreness, increasing range of motion, and making sports-related mechanical changes in minutes.

Tapping protocol that Stacey talked about during the interview.

5 Things You Must Know Before Doing EFT With Children and Teens

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photo by Fine Shots

Tapping with children can be a very rewarding experience. In many cases children take to tapping much faster than adults because they are more willing to try new things and aren’t hung up on why something is working. They just want to feel better.

Here are five things to keep in mind when teaching kids to tap. (Note: All five lessons below are hard won. I know them to be true because I have done the opposite of all 5 at one point.)

1) They Are Smarter Than You Think

I recently spoke to 600 middle school students about bullying. To start the presentation I talked about why bullies bully. I talked about what happens on an emotional level and how that affects our choices. At the end of the presentation the children broke up into to small groups with their adults to talk about what they can do to stop bullying in their schools. After the small group time a number of the adults walked up to me to express how surprised they were with the complexity of thoughts the kids had, the emotions they experienced, and how overall thoughtful they were.

Kids don't have the vocabulary to express their emotions and thoughts the way adults do, but they are thinking real thoughts about their lives, their emotions, and who they are. Give them space to talk about their emotions, teach them how to talk about them, and they will surprise you (in really good ways).

2) You Must Be Authentic Or They Will Tune You Out

Kids today are very savvy because of their access to information and technology. They are treated by big business as a market place and they are constantly sold to through TV and online. Because of this they have very sophisticated BS detectors and they can tell when someone is not being authentic with them.

It is very tempting to want to be cool and hip when talking with kids (especially teens), thinking you are “speaking their language”. It is just the opposite. They don't want some line or for you to talk like them. They want someone who is just being who they are, even if that means being your dorky self.

You can’t ask a child to honest with their emotions and be comfortable inside their own skin unless you are willing to try to do the same.

3) Your Job Is To Love Them; Not Be Loved By Them

When we are working with teens or children we are doing it because we want better for them. That is the goal. Nothing more. Nothing less. We are not trying to be their friend and we are not trying to gain their admiration. We have our own friends and peers for that. This doesn't mean that we act like jerks or that we don't care, forgetting to treat them with respect. Sometimes wanting the best for someone is asking them to do difficult things and things they might not enjoy.

To help them heal we need their respect, not their love and affection. It is ok to be comfortable with that notion.

4) Teach Them Tools

Children (and most people) don't care how or why tapping works. They are just looking for something that makes them feel better. When working with kids and teens give them tools. They don't need theory. They want to be better, happier, and healthier. Once they know the tool works they might ask you how it works and why.

I love coming up with little processes that are easy to follow.

For example, a great way for parents to teach kids to tap for themselves is have them tap and explain four things whilst they are tapping.

  • * What was the best part of the day?
  • * What was the worst part of the day?
  • * What are they looking forward to tomorrow?
  • * What are they worried about tomorrow?

Very simple. It is easy to remember and easy to do. Once they have the tools they can take care of themselves.

5) Start With How The Emotions Feel In The Body

As I said above, children (and many adults) don't have the skill or vocabulary to talk about their emotions as emotions. I like to have them talk about how the emotions feel in the body to help them to tune in.

They might not have the vocabulary to talk about the disappointment that comes with poor grades vs. fighting with a friend. They might call both of these emotions “mad”. But if you get them to talk about how it feels in the body they will be able to be more specific. By describing where the emotion is in the body (head, hands, stomach…) and how it feels in these places (heavy, tight, hot…) they will be much more successful with their tapping.

Go For It

You don't have to be perfect when working with teens or children. They are looking for adults who care about them and care about their well being. Show up from a place of love, treat them with respect, and be ready for lots of questions and you will be a great tapping teacher and tapping role model for them.

What have you found works well when tapping with kids? What mistakes have you made from which you have learned? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to know what you think!

Pod #77: Understanding And Tapping For Shame w/ Rhona Clews

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Shame is the most powerful, self-defeating and crippling of emotions. In this interview I talk to Rhona Clews about the power of shame, how it is created, how it is toxic in our lives, and how we can use tapping to clear it out.


Rhona Clews

Guest: Rhona Clews

Contact: Web @ RhonaClews.co.uk/; Twitter @rhonaclews; Email & Phone @ contact info

About Rhona: Rhona is a Health and Confidence Expert with a background in Clinical Psychology and over a decade of experience with EFT. Rhona is particularly passionate about helping people to integrate EFT into their daily lives, and make tapping their own. She specialists in helping people to have glowing confidence, vibrant health, abundant bank accounts and rich creative fulfillment. She lives and breathes her work and is known for the lightness and joy she bring to her clients and practice. Rhona has previously taught in the UK, USA, and Europe and works with clients worldwide via Skype.

TapAlong: Feeling Bad For Taking Care Of Ourselves

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We know that we have to be healthy in order to be helpful to other people, but sometimes it can be really hard to make time to care for ourselves. We feel like we already have so much that it is hard care for ourselves.

Today we have a great little tap along to help you be OK with tapping for ourselves. (AND if there is a part of you that felt like you shouldn't do this, then it is telling you to do it now.)

Tapping Ninja Video – 5 Steps I Take To Start An EFT Session (That only takes 45 seconds)

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One of the really nice things about tapping is that we can jump right into dealing with an issue without the need for a complicated set-up or time consuming relaxation process before we begin.

Even though we can jump right in there are a few things we can do to ensure we get the most out of our tapping time. It is helpful to be grounded in the moment, to be grounded in our physical bodies, open to healing, and aware of the healing power of our system.

Here is a quick 5 step process that does all of these things. Once you have it mastered it is the perfect way to start a tapping session.

Video Transcript

Hi everyone, this is Gene Monterastelli, the Editor of TappingQandA.com and welcome to another Tapping Ninja video. We call them Tapping Ninja because like a ninja's punch, they're super, super powerful but they're also super quick. These are things that you could add to your tapping repertoire right away that will make a huge difference.

Today what I'd like to share with you is how I start a session. Now I use this with my clients as well as tapping on my own. There are five simple parts to it and what I'm going to do is walk you through each of the five parts and explain why I do each of the steps. To begin with like most tapping all we do is we start by tapping on the side of the hand. But instead of using the set-up phrase, what we're going to do is we’re just going to take a nice deep breath and you can go ahead and do that right now.

Now when we get to tapping on a specific issue, then we're going to reintroduce the setup phrase but for now, just tap here and take a couple of deep breaths. And it just sets the tone, it starts to get you relaxed and it starts to clear some of that reversal.

Now, step number two, what we’re going to do is we're going to take both hands, we're going to tap under the eyes and as we tap under the eyes, again another nice deep breath. But this time what we're going to do is we’re just going to feel ourselves grounded in our physical body. Now it's really easy for us to be distracted from our physical body. Our minds are all over the place. And we’re not as grounded as we once were when we don't do work or we're using our body every day. And so it's really easy to be disconnected from the body. The body has so much information about the healing that we want to happen and the issues that are at hand, it's really important we find ourselves in our body. So tap under the eyes, take a nice deep breath. And just tune in to the body. You don't need to say any phrases. You don't need to do anything specific, just pay attention to the whole physical system.

Now for step number three, what we're going to do is we’re going to tap on the collarbone with both hands but instead of tapping like this what we're going to do is we're going to cross our hands, nice and simple. And by crossing our hands what we’re going to do is we’re going to clear some of the switching that happens and some of the reversals. Again, take a nice deep breath. This time what we're going to do is we're going to feel ourselves grounded in this moment. It's really easy for us to be distracted in a million places all at once. When we’re doing tapping work, it's really important we’re here and now so we can pay attention to what's happening. So again, it's really simple to do. All we're doing is we’re putting ourselves into this moment right here. To do that, cross your hands, take a nice deep breath, and just feel yourself in this moment.

Now for step four, what we're going to do is we're going to take a fist and we're going to tap nice and gentle right in the center of chest. Now, if this is painful, don't do it. And don't do anything that causes you physical pain while tapping. If this is painful, you can rub, you can just place your hand there. If you can tap, go ahead and tap. And what you're going to do is you're going to tune in to the amazing healing power of your body.

So try this out and I'll lead you through it:
I really appreciate my physical system…It does so many amazing things in subconscious and unconscious ways day and night, for my health and my wellbeing…I so appreciate the fact that I don't have to give conscious attention to many of these healing processes…I know my system isn't perfect…I know it isn't completely efficient all the time but I really appreciate the fact that it works in subconscious and unconscious ways for my health and my well-being…So I don't have to give it conscious attention so I can put my attention in other places throughout my day…Nice deep breath.

And part of what this is doing is just like setting the table by creating the rapport with our system so we can really move then and do some deep powerful work.

Step number five is really simple. What we're going to do is we're going to tap on our chin. Go ahead and do it. And as we tap on our chin, what we're going to do is we're going to set the system up to know that this is a safe time for us to heal. And again, I'm just going to lead you through it. Tap on your chin. Take a nice deep breath.

As I tap today, I'm going to find my way to physical sensations, emotions, memories, limiting beliefs…I want my system to know that as I do this work today, there's no judgment here…Whatever information comes forward, I appreciate… And even if the system doesn't understand it and I don't consciously understand the information that's coming forward, I appreciate the fact that that information is coming forward because even if I don't understand it, it will help facilitate the healing process…My time here is set aside for healing, health and well-being. I give this system permission to allow that to happen…There's no judgment here… Whatever information that needs to come forward, I'll be glad to receive it.

And so what we're doing there is we're just setting ourselves up to have a really successful session. There are lots of things where we've had in the past choices that we're not happy with. We don't like the choices we made originally or we don't like the way we responded to something or we don't like the way we remembered something. By giving ourselves permission to know that it's okay. That there's no judgment here, it's going to be easier for us to open ourselves up to find our way to those root causes.

Really that's all there is to it. Five simple steps. Start by tapping on the side of the hand. Taking a nice deep breath. Tap onto the eyes, deep breath. Grounding your physical body. Collarbone, crossed hands, deep breath, ground in this moment, center of the chest, tune in to the amazing healing power of the body. Tap on the chin. Give yourself permission to know that there's no judgment here. Whatever comes forward is useful and helpful and powerful. And it’s just that simple. Now you can dive in and do your regular tapping. Whatever it is, tap on the side of the hand, tune in to your set-up phrase and off you go.

The really cool thing about this little set-up technique is, it doesn't have to be a set-up. It can actually be all the tapping you do. Take 45 seconds or a minute to do this and what it's going to do is it just going to move you to this moment. It's going to help you to let go of the worries of the future. It's going to help you to let go of any nagging regret that you're pulling from the past. It's going to put you in this moment which will make it easier for you to make good choices and be present to those around you. That's all there is to it. Five simple steps.

This is Gene Monterastelli for Tapping Q and A. If you'd like to see more videos just like this one, all you need to do is go to TappingQandA.com/video. We've got lots of super short, super powerful instructional videos. I'll talk to you real soon. Bye-bye.

5 Surprising Reasons You Haven’t Reached Your Goals (plus 5 EFT scripts)

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Question: I have a great list of goals. I know what I want. I know why I want to achieve them. I just can’t seem to move forward. How can I use tapping to move towards my goals?

photo by l@mie

I spend a great deal of time working with clients helping them to move forward towards their goals. In most cases my clients have some sense of where they would like to take their lives and even know the steps that need to be followed.

For some reason they are stuck. They look at their to-do list which is the same list they made the day before with nothing crossed off.

I have found that there are 5 common reasons that we don't take the actions we know we will improve our lives. As you read through them you may notice that a number of them apply to you.

Even if you don't think you are experiencing one of the reasons listed take the 60 seconds it takes to tap through the script. You will be surprised at the issues you didn't know were there that are cleared.

You Don't Know What You Want

It's very simple. If you don't know where you are going then there is no way to get there. Knowing what you want is a sliding scale of understanding. For example, there is a difference between wanting a new job, wanting a new teaching job, and wanting a new teaching job where you don't have to teach summer school, that pays for graduate classes, and that doesn't suck your will to live.

It is possible to have too specific a definition of what you want that cripples you and holds you in one place, but that is unlikely. It is much more likely that because you don't have a clear vision of what you want, it is hard to move forward as you don't know what your next step should be.

Do you have a clear vision for your goal? If not try tapping with this:

I know I want better…but I am not exactly sure what that looks like…I just know it is not what I currently have…I know that if I give myself permission to dream a little…to take a step back…I can come up with a clearer vision of what I want…there might be a part of me that is worried about moving forward in this way…if I have a clear vision of what I want it is going to point out everything I don't have…it is going to point out how far I am from my goal…it feels safer to not tune into these goals…because I don't have to face the facts of where I am…but I need to have good idea of where I am going…if I want to get there…I give myself permission to dream a little…to see what I really want…it is closer than I think…I just need to start moving forward.

You Don't Know Why You Want It

I think the most powerful force in helping us to move towards our goals is understanding why we want what we want. Many times what we want is really just a tool to get us to what we really want. I might say that I want to make a million dollars this year. That is a clear goal and it is something I can tell if I have achieved it.

The problem with this type of goal is that there is very little life behind it. It is just a number with a bunch of zeros after it. It is not real and it is difficult to have the motivation to move towards this imaginary number feeling.

On the other hand, knowing why I want this goal will keep me focused. If I want a million dollars this year so that I can stop the debt collection calls, take those classes that are going to take my client sessions to the next level, be able to help my parents so they can retire, and make sure the small school I love keeps its doors open, then that is something I can wrap my heart around.

It is in the why where we find our motivation. We might have known it when we created our goal list, but have since lost touch with it.

Do you know why you want your goals? If not tap to this:

I know what I want…I have given it a great deal of thought…at one point I even knew why I wanted these things…but I have lost touch with that knowledge…I know that if I take the time to reconnect with the reason why I want these things…then I am going to find my way back to my motivation…and my mojo…it is going to make it easier for me to take the steps I need to take to get closer to my goals…it is important that I remind myself why I want what I want…this will help me in the times when it is hard to act…there are times when I am going to be able to get past hurdles…and lack of energy…to move to what I want…when I remember why I want it…[keep tapping and state the reasons you want to achieve the goals you have named…keep tapping…keep coming up with reasons.]

You Don't Really Want It

I was senior in high school. Her name was Kelly. I called her and asked her out on a date. Thankfully she said “no”.

No really…it was a good thing. We had nothing in common. I don't know what we would have talked about. I asked her out because she was the girl I was supposed to ask out based on the social politics of my high school.

There are times when we have goals not because we think they are right for us, but because there are people in our lives who think achieving them would be a good thing for us to do. It could be a certain job, marrying a certain person, or getting a certain qualification. Because we don’t want it for ourselves we are never really going to move towards it.

Do you have a goal that isn't really a goal you want? Then you can tap like this:

There is a goal that I have been working towards…but it isn’t something that I want…it is something that others want for me…they think it is something that will make me happy…or successful…but it is coming from their definition of happy and successful…it is not my definition…they want it for me because they want what is best for me…but it is not what is best for me…it is ok if I have my own definition of success…it is ok if I move towards the goals I want for me…this can be hard because I have been working towards this goal for a while…it will feel like I am giving up…because I have spent so much time and effort working in this direction…but I need to work towards achieving the goals that are right for me…not right for someone else…I give myself permission to let go of other people’s goals for me…I only have so much time…and so much energy…I need to invest that in things I really want for myself…it is ok that I name the things I really want for myself…I will work towards those things…this is my life…they love me…they want what is best for me…but I am going to work towards what I need for myself.

You Are Too Afraid To Put Forth Any Effort

Sometimes there is a clear sense of what we want, why we want it, and know it is our goal and not someone else’s. When the rubber meets the road there is resistance to moving forward because lots of things could go wrong when we try. It might be too big for us or we might not know how or we might fail or we might not have a clear idea of where we are going.

We like to know that we are going to be successful. It is human nature.

Are you afraid to put forth effort because of what might go wrong? Then tap like this:

I know what I want…I know why I want it…but there is a part of me that is worried about trying to get it…if I try I could fail…if I try I could find out that I am not good enough…if I try I could look foolish to the people around me…if I try I could let everyone know I have no idea what I am doing…these are all real fears…it is ok that I have these fears…because this is a part of me that wants me to be safe as I try to move forward…but I need to try…yes…I might fail…yes…I might look foolish…yes…it might be hard…but I need to try…I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be perfect…I am going to make mistakes…I am not going to get it right…but each step I take forward is going to move me closer to what I want…maybe it won't be a perfect step…maybe it won't even be the right step…but it is going to help me to learn what the wrong steps are so I don't take them again…I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be perfect in working to my goals…and that is ok…I am not going to do everything exactly right…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I make choices and take action…I give myself permission to move forward in an imperfect way

Others Don't Want To You To Change And You Would Rather Not Upset Them

It is hard to believe, but there are people in our lives who don’t want us to change. More precisely, there are people in our life who want us to change as long as it doesn’t require them to change as well.

We don't live in a vacuum. The changes I make in one part of my life are going to affect other parts of my life. For example, if I decided to go back to school it is going to impact the amount of time I have to spend with my family.

Also, when we take action it shines a light on the lives of our loved ones and the lack of change they are experiencing. We can cause feelings of jealousy and resentment.

On some level we are aware of these things happening. Sometimes it is very obvious when loved ones resist our change and other times it happens as passive aggressive undercurrent to our interactions. We don't like to upset our loved ones and so there is a part of us that will prevent us from taking action because we know how it is going to “hurt” others.

Are you avoiding taking action because on some level your success is going to “harm” a loved one or a relationship? Then tap on this:

I know my choices impact others…our lives are knitted together in many ways…when I add new activities to my life it means I have less time for things I have done in the past…when I move forward it is going to bring attention to the fact that others are choosing not to move forward…I don't want to make other people's lives harder…I don't want to hurt my loved ones…but I know I need to move forward…I have goals that I need to work towards…to be who I want to be…when I have success I am going to be myself more fully…which means I will be able to share myself with my loved ones in different ways…also, I don't have control over the emotional state of my loved ones…if they want to be bent out of shape because of my choices that is up to them…but I can't let their possible emotions hold me back…I need to move forward for myself…it is ok for me to make choices for myself…I need to move forward in this way…I can't let how others feel about my success hold me back…I give myself permission to move forward.

Take Action

Your goals aren’t going to happen on their own. You need to take action. Even if you just take these 5 scripts and tap on each of them every morning you will see a difference. That is right, just taking the 3 minutes it takes to tap through these will remove resistance to change. You will take one more step towards your goal.

Which really is a powerful thing.

If you are looking for a more comprehensive tool for clearing blocks to taking action, check out The 10 Steps To Getting Out Of Your Own Way To Get What You Want

Let me know your thoughts on what is holding you back from your goals and what has helped you to break those barriers down by commenting below.

Pod #76: Scientific and Psychological Research On Tapping and EFT w/ Dawson Church, Ph.D

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I don’t know about you, but I constantly find myself answering questions about EFT and tapping. It is great that we can draw from on personal experience (and the experience of those with whom we work) when sharing about tapping, but in many cases this is not enough. It is useful to have structured, peer-reviewed scientific studies to build the wall of proof that so many are looking for.

To that end I have something in two parts that will help you respond to people who are looking for scientific proof about tapping and EFT. First, I have an interview with Dawson Church, PhD about completed research studies, on-going research studies, and planned research studies. Second, I have a summary of many of the recent studies to make it easier for you to talk about them.

Part 1: Interview with Dawson Church


Brad Yates

Guest: Dawson Church, Ph.D

Contact: web @ EFTUniverse.com

Bio: Dawson Church is the author/coauthor of 8 books (including The Genie In Your Genes) and manages the web site EFTUniverse.com. He travels the world as a trainer and speaker. His passion is tapping and getting tapping into the hands of those who could benefit most from its power.

Part 2: Tapping/EFT Research Summary

A complete and regularly updated list of the latest research can be found @ http://bit.ly/EFTResearch

Support the on going research to demonstrate the efficacy of Tapping/EFT @ Soul Medicine Institute/

“While many important EFT research questions remain to be answered, a great deal of groundwork is already in place: EFT has been researched in more than 7 countries, by more than 60 investigators, whose results have been published in more than 15 different peer-reviewed journals. These include distinguished top-tier journals such as Journal of Clinical Psychology, the APA journals Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training and Review of General Psychology, and the oldest psychiatric journal in the US, the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease. EFT research includes investigators affiliated with many different institutions. In the US, these range from Harvard Medical School, to the University of California at Berkeley, to City University of New York, to Walter Reed Army Medical Center (USUHS), to Texas A&M University. Institutions in other countries whose faculty have contributed to EFT research include Lund University (Sweden), Ankara University (Turkey), Santo Tomas University (Philippines), Lister Hospital (England), Cesar Vallejo University (Peru), and Griffith University (Australia). The wide variety of institutions, peer-reviewed journals, investigators, and settings that have, in independent research, found EFT to be efficacious, are one indication of the breadth of existing research results.” EFTUnivers.com

Below are highlights of some of the outcomes of the studies:

Efficacy of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) in Reducing Public Speaking Anxiety – EFT show to greatly reduce anxiety in all areas for those who used EFT.

The Effect of a Brief EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Self-Intervention on Anxiety, Depression, Pain and Cravings in Healthcare Workers – Significant improvements were found on all distress subscales and ratings of pain, emotional distress, and cravings at posttest.

Psychological Symptom Change in Veterans After Six Sessions of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – Symptom severity decreased significantly by 40%, anxiety decreased 46%, depression 49%, and PTSD 50%. These gains were maintained at the 90-day follow-up.

Self-administered EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in Individuals with Fibromyalgia – Pain catastrophizing measures, such as rumination, magnification and helplessness, were significantly reduced, and the activity level was significantly increased.

EFT, WHEE, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Treatment of Test Anxiety in University Students – 2 session of EFT or WHEE produced the same results as 5 session of CBT. EFT and WHEE students successfully transferred their self-treatment skills to other stressful areas of their lives.

Brief Group Intervention Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) for Depression in College Students – The EFT group had significantly less depression than the control group at posttest, scoring in the “non-depressed” range.

Psychological and Physiological Symptoms of Psoriasis After Group EFT Treatment – Participants experienced significant improvement in functioning and psychological, emotional, and physical symptoms. Relief was often immediate and sustained, and improved over time (1 and 3 months).

TapAlong: Feeling Bad Because We Started Tapping So Late

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When we first learn to tap we feel very empowered. All of a sudden we have a great tool that we can use anytime and anywhere.

As good as this feels, that good feeling can pass. At a certain point in the healing process it is very common to feel like we have wasted lots of time. We ask ourselves, “Why didn't I do this sooner?”

It is easy to beat ourselves up over this. If you are feeling bad about not starting the healing process sooner I have a great little tap along for you.

Tapping Ninja Video – The Rake

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This is one of my favorite tools of all time. I took pieces of a number of different tools and put them into one quick little tapping routine that will only take you 20 seconds.

It is perfect to calm you in a stressful moment, help you to clear your head, or to relax you as you are heading for bed.

Video Transcript

Hi, this is Gene Monterastelli, the Editor of TappingQandA.com and welcome to another Tapping Ninja video. Today, what I'd like to share with you is one of my favorite tapping techniques but it's not the traditional tapping on a point and saying a phrase. This is a technique that I call the rake. And where it came from was I took a number of relaxation techniques that I liked and combined them. This is something that's really easy. It only takes a few seconds to do and you can use it anytime you like. My favorite place to teach it is to teach it to students that whenever they're feeling that test anxiety, they can take this and do it right before the test, and they will find their way to relaxation, peace, calm. So you can do it anytime you need a little stress relief.

All you do is you take one of your hands and you make your fingers into a little ring like this with the four fingers and the thumb. And you're going to take them and you're going to go around your belly button, you can't see it, it's out of the shot but I've just basically ringed my belly button with each of the points and what I do is I just start tapping and I I slowly work my way up until I get all the way up to the collarbone and then what I'm going to do is I'm just going to move my way back and forth across the top here, kind of like I'm raking across my chest that's why I call it that. And after you've done that three or four times, just work your way back to the middle and just work down back to the belly button.

And that's really all there is to it. When I do it, I can just feel tension release. I can feel my body calm. Sometimes I get a little bit of a shiver like that where I can feel the peace moving through the body. It's super-simple to do. You don't need to say a phrase. You don't need to be thinking about anything important, anything specific, just tap, tune in to your body and enjoy. So that's the rake. I hope you enjoy it.

As a reminder you can find lots of video instruction just like this. Super-quick little things that you can use to add to your tapping protocol by going to TappingQandA.com/videos. For Tapping Q and A, this is Gene Monterastelli, I'll talk to you real soon. Bye-bye.

Things Your Inner Child Needs To Hear You Say

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photo by Tony Trần

[Note: This is part 4 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each part of our system and tap for it. ]

We are not just who we are now, but a sum total of all that has happened. There are parts of us that are still clinging to the past as if it is still happening. Many times when working with clients we find our way to working with the younger self. Much of who we are today is informed by our younger years. BUT it is not who we are in totality and our past is not written in stone in such a way that it can never be changed.

I have found it very helpful to speak to my younger self. It is important to let it know that it is allowed to grow, change, and absorb the wisdom of my older self. This is how I tap for and with my inner child. Take a deep breath and just tune in to the younger you.

You are safe…There is no judgment here…You are allowed to share what everyou want…And you are allowed to share nothing…You are safe…There is no judgment of you here…There is only love…I want you to know you are not alone…You are safe…You are loved…You are allowed to think what you want…You are allowed to say what you want…You are allowed to feel what you need to feel…I am here for you…You are safe…There is no judgment for you here.

You are allowed to ask for what you need…It can be big…It can be small…It can be nothing at all…You are allowed to ask for what you need…

You have access to all the information and resources we have gained in our life…I have progressed so much in my life…I have gained wisdom…I have learned lessons…I want you to have access to all this information…Because you are me…You have permission to bring all that I know now to the past and what I went through…I know some of this information is going to contradict what you believe…And what you have been told…Just because important adults in your life said it is true, doesn’t mean it is true…Trust our new wisdom…We have lived it…We know its truth…

If you need anything you can ask…Anytime…I want you to know you are loved…And safe…There is no judgment of you here

I asked a number of friends and fellow practitioners what they would like to say to their inner child. Take a deep breath and tap along:

You are doing the best you know how to do. Even when you make mistakes you're not doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you.
Jade Barbee

I see you, I honor you. I honor how hard it was for you and all the things you wanted but could not get. I am open to hearing exactly what you still need today and learning how to ask for that need to be met in my life right now. And, in this present moment, I see and honor the beautifully unique and brilliant qualities you have, but learned to keep hidden because it was not safe. I give you permission to totally shine right now with me, because I love you and I understand!
Margaret M. Lynch

You are special, you are loved
Pamela Bruner

You are safe. You are loved. You are perfect. All is well. You are not alone. I am always here.
Rev. Anne Presuel

Trust that what comes to my heart is right for me. The decisions I make can't be connected to what others might think of me.
Tammy Evevard

“You are safe and I, the grown-up, am here to take care of you.
I'm really really sorry that you went through this alone. I'm here now for you.
What you have to say is really really important to me. I'm listening.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be really really really mad. It's okay to be really really really really mad.
Is it okay if I sit next to you for a bit?
Deborah Donndelinger

You are awesome, you matter, and you are worthy and deserving of the best life has to offer.
Brad Yates

“Our life was not designed to be as hard as we make it. We complicate everything with our need to feed our insatiable ego. Often times we become convinced that we must always win, be right, or be considered important in order to be happy.
Life was meant to be simple. We were created to love one another..not to separate ourselves from others. We were created to serve one another…not to be served. We were created to be grateful for the life we have..not lamenting for the things we don't have. We were created to be joyful…not to be creatures of our own fear.
Life is beautiful. I just need to get out of my own way to see it.
Quit being afraid of living a much more simple life.”
John Roedel

You are loved, you are safe, know that I am deeply interested in you, that I love listening to you and that this is only the beginning. Oh and also – that there is always time for play!
Rhona Clews

It is safe to be seen, safe to accept the challenges life offers and really, you can be powerful and kind at the same time.
Andy Bryce

What are the things your inner child needs to hear? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!