Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Things Your Inner Child Needs To Hear You Say

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photo by Tony Trần

[Note: This is part 4 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each part of our system and tap for it. ]

We are not just who we are now, but a sum total of all that has happened. There are parts of us that are still clinging to the past as if it is still happening. Many times when working with clients we find our way to working with the younger self. Much of who we are today is informed by our younger years. BUT it is not who we are in totality and our past is not written in stone in such a way that it can never be changed.

I have found it very helpful to speak to my younger self. It is important to let it know that it is allowed to grow, change, and absorb the wisdom of my older self. This is how I tap for and with my inner child. Take a deep breath and just tune in to the younger you.

You are safe…There is no judgment here…You are allowed to share what everyou want…And you are allowed to share nothing…You are safe…There is no judgment of you here…There is only love…I want you to know you are not alone…You are safe…You are loved…You are allowed to think what you want…You are allowed to say what you want…You are allowed to feel what you need to feel…I am here for you…You are safe…There is no judgment for you here.

You are allowed to ask for what you need…It can be big…It can be small…It can be nothing at all…You are allowed to ask for what you need…

You have access to all the information and resources we have gained in our life…I have progressed so much in my life…I have gained wisdom…I have learned lessons…I want you to have access to all this information…Because you are me…You have permission to bring all that I know now to the past and what I went through…I know some of this information is going to contradict what you believe…And what you have been told…Just because important adults in your life said it is true, doesn’t mean it is true…Trust our new wisdom…We have lived it…We know its truth…

If you need anything you can ask…Anytime…I want you to know you are loved…And safe…There is no judgment of you here

I asked a number of friends and fellow practitioners what they would like to say to their inner child. Take a deep breath and tap along:

You are doing the best you know how to do. Even when you make mistakes you're not doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you.
Jade Barbee

I see you, I honor you. I honor how hard it was for you and all the things you wanted but could not get. I am open to hearing exactly what you still need today and learning how to ask for that need to be met in my life right now. And, in this present moment, I see and honor the beautifully unique and brilliant qualities you have, but learned to keep hidden because it was not safe. I give you permission to totally shine right now with me, because I love you and I understand!
Margaret M. Lynch

You are special, you are loved
Pamela Bruner

You are safe. You are loved. You are perfect. All is well. You are not alone. I am always here.
Rev. Anne Presuel

Trust that what comes to my heart is right for me. The decisions I make can't be connected to what others might think of me.
Tammy Evevard

“You are safe and I, the grown-up, am here to take care of you.
I'm really really sorry that you went through this alone. I'm here now for you.
What you have to say is really really important to me. I'm listening.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be really really really mad. It's okay to be really really really really mad.
Is it okay if I sit next to you for a bit?
Deborah Donndelinger

You are awesome, you matter, and you are worthy and deserving of the best life has to offer.
Brad Yates

“Our life was not designed to be as hard as we make it. We complicate everything with our need to feed our insatiable ego. Often times we become convinced that we must always win, be right, or be considered important in order to be happy.
Life was meant to be simple. We were created to love one another..not to separate ourselves from others. We were created to serve one another…not to be served. We were created to be grateful for the life we have..not lamenting for the things we don't have. We were created to be joyful…not to be creatures of our own fear.
Life is beautiful. I just need to get out of my own way to see it.
Quit being afraid of living a much more simple life.”
John Roedel

You are loved, you are safe, know that I am deeply interested in you, that I love listening to you and that this is only the beginning. Oh and also – that there is always time for play!
Rhona Clews

It is safe to be seen, safe to accept the challenges life offers and really, you can be powerful and kind at the same time.
Andy Bryce

What are the things your inner child needs to hear? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

A Thousand Paper Cuts Would Be Better Than Tapping On These Issues – Issues To Be Tapped On Someday

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photo by Justin See

We all have them…

A list of tappable issues that we just never seem to get around to tapping for.

Some of the issues are really big and others are teeny-tiny.

At this moment I don’t care why you aren’t tapping for them; that is a conversation for
another time.

You can do some work on them without having to deal with specifics AND do it right now before any other resistance pops up.

Get a pen and piece of paper. Name the issues you don’t want to tap on.

Make a list.

Don’t think too much.

Just make the list.

Write. Write. Write.

If you are reading this you are not writing…add 3 more things to your list.

Re-read your list.

Take a deep breath.

And tap on this:

Some day I am going to tap on these things…Right now I am not ready…I might be worried about what I am going to unpack…I might be worried that I don’t have enough time right now…It might not feel right at the moment…I might not know where to start…I might not know what the root issues are…I might need to work with someone else to clear these issues…but there is a reason that I am not tapping for these issues right now…I give myself permission to know it is ok not to tap for these right now…Some day I will get to these things…When the time is right…I know that I don’t have to tune into them right now to have some of them start to resolve themselves…I give my system permission to start to work them out on its own…I give my system permission to let me know the right time to do this work…I give my system permission to work on these issues without me having to pay attention…my system knows how to heal…and it has permission to do just that…I don't need to know about this healing…It can just happen on its own…I know that tapping will help these issues some day…that might be today…it might be later…I am easy with myself in knowing I don't have to do it right now…I will get to these issues

Take a deep breath.

Feel better? Good!

What are the issues you struggle to tap on and why? What are some of the ways you get past your resistance? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Things We Need To Hear From And To Say To Our Spiritual Self

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photo by Hans Splinter

[Note: This is part 4 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each part of our system and tap for it. ]

Sometimes we need to talk to our spirit. Sometimes we need to listen better, more closely, and more often to our spirit. For me the struggle is just needing to be still enough to listen.

Here is how I tap when thinking of my spirit (remember to take a deep breath):

I love the fact that I am soul…I need to remember that I am not a physical being with a spiritual life…I am a soul that is having a physical experience…This is something I forget all the time…I need to find time to just sit and be connected to my soul…It is always there…It is always the still small voice of inspiration…It never leaves…It never shuts up…But it rarely shouts…It is quiet…It is still…I need to create space to just listen…Not to listen for instruction…Not to listen for inspiration…But just to be…To be still with my spirit…My soul is not in a rush…I can learn from that…I can be in this moment…Knowing it is enough…Be still…Be still…Be still

I asked some my friends and fellow practitioners what they wanted to say to their soul and what they need to hear from their spiritual self. Take another deep breath and tap:

I am a beloved child of an amazing God. I believe this to be true but sometimes at the deepest core of myself I don't trust that it is really true for me. I believe that maybe it is true for others but not for me because I'm too much of a mess and failure. Keep reminding me that I am a beloved child of God.
Tammy Evevard

Sometimes this world and our personal situations can cause us to feel hopeless, helpless and dispirited. Remember “This too shall pass”, and that life consists of constant cycles of change and growth.
Colleen Flanagan

You are not alone. You know exactly what you are here to do and you are doing it – with honor and integrity. You are always provided for, and you are always guided. Stay connected to the Divine and your way will be made clear.
Rev. Anne Presuel

You have permission to be part of my daily life…I know I forget you are there…It is not because I don't care…it is because I forget…Please remind me you are there…Please remind me that I am a beautiful creation…Please remind me that I am made for love…Please remind me that I am worthy of love…Please remind me who I am…Please remind me that I need not be in a rush…
I call upon my eternal soul to remind of the most important truth…the truth that lets all my stories about my traumas, pains, wrongs and wounds fall aside as simply “stories”. Because my soul knows that I have never been broken, never been wounded, never been unloved, abandoned or hurt. I call upon my soul, my spirit to remind me that I am whole, eternal, loved and holy.
Margaret M. Lynch

“Thank you for never giving up on me. I was one stubborn customer, yes?!”
Jondi Whitis

“Even though I don't always hear you, I trust that you are always guiding me.
Even though I don't always know my purpose, I trust that you do.
Even though I sometimes rush and don't connect with you, and take you for granted, I savor the moments when I slow down and my deep connection to Source flows easily through you.
Even though it's taken me a while to connect with you, I'm so grateful to know you.
Deborah Donndelinger

“Quit being afraid.
Quit being afraid to love yourself. Quit being afraid to let your ego die. Quit being afraid to serve other people. Quit being afraid to let other people into your heart. Quit being afraid to be, learn new things about yourself, the world, and God.
My spirit will one day make its way by to my creator. When that happens I want to melt into the divine the way I was meant to:
Unafraid. ”
John Roedel

All is possible.
Rhona Clews

What are the things your spiritual self needs to hear and what do you need to hear from you spiritual self? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Things Your Heart/Emotional Self Needs To Hear

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[Note: This is part 3 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each part of our system and tap for it.]

Our hearts are powerful. In a moment they can feel and release emotions that can overcome everything we are thinking and seemingly everything else in the world. I have tendency to live in one of two extremes. I am either so immersed in my emotions that I miss everything else or I try and block them out. I need to spend more time listening to my emotional self without losing touch with everything else.

Here is a simple way to tap for our emotional selves. Take a nice deep breath and tap:

It is ok to feel what you're feeling…I want to hear what you have to say…I know every emotion is information about how I experience the world…I don't need to fix or change any of my emotions…I am sorry that I don’t listen to you more….You don’t have to be stuck in the past…I hear the messages you have about the past…They have served their purpose…Thank you for helping to feel so deeply…It is not a bad thing to feel deeply…even when you feel things that aren't always pleasant…thank you for helping me to experience the richness of life.

I need my emotions to inform the other parts of my system…Because my emotions have very important pieces of information about myself and about the world…I love the fact I can feel emotions…They give me a chance to enjoy a richness in this world…My emotions are very much about where I am this moment…It is good to be connected to this moment in that way…I love my heart…I love my emotions…Even if they get the best of me…I don’t need to fear my emotional self.

I asked a number of friends and fellow practitioners what they would like to say to their heart/emotional self. Take another deep breath and tap:

Know that it's OK to love and to be vulnerable. Thank you for continuing to beat, in spite of it being broken, over and over again.
Keep open, in spite of the risk of being hurt. It's where your joy, happiness and love comes from.
Keep alive by sharing it with others.
Lindsay Kenny

Know when you are talking to me and that I am willing to listen. That I am really ready to be led by you. I am grateful and open to joy. That I know that it knows the way.
Rhona Clews

I love you
Pamela Bruner

Literally – You are strong. You know exactly how to keep pumping life through this beautiful body.
Metaphorically – You are beautiful and powerful and open. You are kind-hearted and know grace and graciousness, and aren’t afraid to use the power of love whenever and wherever you know it is appropriate.
Rev. Anne Presuel

Seeking after joy and happiness is a good thing – not selfish.
Tammy Evevard

You are in charge. I trust your wisdom to guide me.
Thank you for being so expansive that we can weep together.
Your capacity for love astounds me. Thank you.
Your strength astounds me.
Deborah Donndelinger

Be more emotionally honest with people. Have the courage to tell those in my life that I love them and how grateful I am that they are in my life.
Have courage to have me stand up for myself and my family when other people may not be treating us with kindness.
It is ok to be less afraid to express to the world how I feel. Don't hide everything under an icy sheet of humor or indifference. Be willing to show love to those who support me and show conviction to those who would see me fail.
You have permission to stop being afraid to have emotions.”
John Roedel

I forgive myself for forgetting that I have always been doing my best, that I have always been perfect exactly as I am, as a human with a spirit evolving through life. I give myself permission to let go – even if just for a few minutes – of the energy of “I should have done it better” and “I don't think I deserve YET…” so I can remember that I deserve love, pleasure, peace and compassion right here and now. I gift myself the gift of compassion and wrap myself around my heart with a huge hug of accepting love.
Margaret M. Lynch

What are the things your emotional self needs to here? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

You Have No Choice! Just Give-Up Right Now!

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our mind, giving us opportunity for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

photo by Alberto G.

With my day job I spend a lot of time talking to high school kids about the choices they make. When talking about their lives they often use the phrase, “I had no choice but to…” I hear it from my clients as well. “I had to. I had no choice!”

  • “I had no choice, I just couldn't get out of bed.”
  • “I had no choice, it was the best job I could find.”
  • “I had no choice, everyone else was going.”

Those statements sound logical, but that is not “no choice.”

That is “in the short term with the least amount of risk, effort, or thought it was the easiest thing for me to choose.”

We can see the same thing when people talk about their identity.

  • “I had no choice, the men in my family aren’t good at sharing emotions.”
  • “I had no choice, you know how hot tempered we Irish are.”

Again, that is not “no choice”.

That is “it has always been that way for the people around me and it is easier for me not to fight the pattern.”

“No Choice” Stops All Movement

The moment we say that we have “no choice” then we are done.

We stop thinking, we stop trying, we stop moving forward, and we stop dreaming. Because if there really is no choice, why bother? We are assuming things are suck therefore consciously and (more importantly) unconsciously we are going to stop trying.

Owning Your Choice

Don’t get me wrong. I think it is OK to make any of the choices that are listed above as long as they are the choice we want to make.

  • “I really felt under the weather and exhausted. I knew I was going to be a grump and was going to do really poor work so I choose to stay in bed.”
  • “I had been looking for jobs for months and it was the only thing I could find that paid the bills. It is not my dream job and it really doesn’t pay enough, but I was exhausted and heartbroken and for the job search I needed to get back to work so I chose to take the job.”
  • “I didn’t really want to go to the party, but everyone else was going and I didn’t want to be alone or seen as an outsider.”
  • “The men in my family are traditionally really bad at talking about emotions and I am choosing this as my reality as well.”
  • “Everyone in my family talks about how hot tempered the Irish are and I am choosing this as my reality as well.”

 


When they are phrased this way we may or may not (more than likely “may not”) like who we are becoming in these choices, but because we are making them as choices we are back in control.

When we see our actions as choices and not as predestination then we are regaining control. We see where we stand and what we can change (if we are willing to put in the effort).

Tapping Your Way Out Of No Choice

Whenever I hear myself saying “I have no choice…” I try to catch myself. Here is a way to tap when we are feeling like we have no choice:

Right now I feel like I have no choice…It is not that I don’t have a choice…But I am feeling overwhelmed by what is going on…I am overwhelmed by what has happened in the past…I am overwhelmed by past patterns and expectations of others…It is not that I don’t have a choice…But really I am falling into the choice that is the easiest and takes the least effort…It is okay if I make this choice…If this is the choice I really want to make…I give myself permission to make the choice I want…As long as I know it is my choice…Not someone else’s choice…And that I am willing to take responsibility for my choices…Because they are my choices…They are not someone else’s choices…They are my choices…I have a choice…I am going to take responsibility for my choices…

What are the things you used to think you had no choice about? Where has naming choice helped you to regain control of your life? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!