I heard Dr. Phil interviewed once and he was talking about how an interviewer was badgering him about the fact that all he does is repeat common sense. His response was, “Thank you very much!”
It is very easy to see Dr. Phil as a clown and a caricature of himself, but I think we dismiss him at our peril. I have always been very impressed with what he has to say and even more impressed with his ability to cut to the chase.
We can make things too complicated (or at least I do). Here are 5 things that Dr. Phil can teach us about tapping and caring for ourselves.
[Note: According to the internet these are all Dr. Phil quotes. I did my best to verify. I apologise if any are misattributed or misquoted.]
“It’s a choice. You just have to decide that I’m not going to put my energy there. I’m going to decide to let this go. It’s your choice. You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city, or you can just say ‘I’m going to live my life and be happy’”
Our emotional state is a choice. I think this statement is often misunderstood. It is not as simple as ‘I want to be happy therefore I will think happy thoughts’. It is much more like being in a new location. If I want to be in my backyard I need to choose to go to the backyard and then decide to stay there. If we don’t like our emotional state we need to do something to make it different.
It is our responsibility to get ourselves to the new emotional state. Sometimes it takes more work to move forward than other times, but it is up to us. The first step is to choose to be emotionally different and start moving. Even if we don’t know how to do it we can start by tapping on:
I know that my emotional state is my choice. . .even if it doesn’t feel like it is in this moment. . .the emotions I am feeling right now are information about how I am experiencing the world. . .I want to do that in a different way. . .I am not sure what the first steps are. . .but recognizing that I have some control is going to make all the difference. . .
This is to get you moving towards the place you want to be, but you must make the choice first that you are going to be in control.
“You generate the results in your life that you believe you deserve.”
I often say to my clients, “It is impossible to receive a gift when you don’t feel you are worthy of it.” If there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are worthy of something that part is going to sabotage you and prevent it from happening. The first step to getting something new and better is to make sure you feel emotionally worthy of that new and better.
I love starting a tapping session with:
I am worthy of change. . .I am worthy of better. . .I am where I am. . .but that doesn’t mean I have to stay stuck here. . .Even if my choices are what brought me here. . .I am allowed to move on from this. . .I give myself permission to have great vision for my life. . .I am worthy of better. . .I give myself permission to believe in better.
If you are still having trouble with moving past this check out: Layers Of Resistance
“If you want more you have to require more of yourself.”
There are people in your life who want better for you. There are people who are willing to help. But there is only one person who is responsible for your change and transformation: YOU!
Your life is not going to get better just by hoping, wishing, dreaming and visualizing. You have to take action and you have to be taking more action than you are right now. This doesn’t mean you have to do it all in the next three hours. The new action can be as simple as doing 5 minutes of tapping before you go to bed to get a better night’s sleep which will lead to more energy and better choices tomorrow. Just tap like this:
I know I want better. . .I want more. . .I need to be the one who makes this happen. . .I don’t have to do it all by myself. . .I can get help from others. . .It is good that I get help from others. . .but the one person who is most invested in my progress and success is me. . .I deserve to have better and more. . .I need to require more of myself. . .even if it is something small each day. . .I can do it. . .with small steps.
You just need to do something. Expect more of yourself, hold yourself accountable, and do it. (I know you can do it!)
“You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.”
A very common question from tapping beginners is “Why do I have to say the negative? I want to focus on the positive!” [for a full discussion on why we use negative phrases and why tapping is needed see Why Do I Have To Tap?]
We can’t change something that we haven’t named. Yes, it sucks to say, write, or mentally admit the things that are wrong in our life. Just the thought of those things can bring us down and sometimes we can slip into wallowing. To have better we have to name what is wrong. If that seems scary here is a way you can tap for it:
Right now I am struggling with a number of things. . .There is a part of me that doesn’t want to admit it is there. . .when I think about what isn’t working I have to admit things are not going right. . .I have to look at the part that is no fun. . .it can pull me down. . .and sometimes I get stuck in negative feelings. . .and it can be hard to crawl out. . .but I am not thinking of what is wrong to just wallow in it. . .I am not thinking of what is wrong to punish myself. . .I am doing it because I know I need to name the areas of my life that need improving before I can change them. . .This is the first step to getting something better. . .As I think of what isn’t working I am going to tap a bit. . .this will help me not slip into an emotional funk. . .I am thinking of what is wrong as a stepping stone to what I want. . .
“The most you get is what you ask for.”
This is true with others and this is true with ourselves. It can be hard to ask for things. We feel like we need do everything on our own, that if we were worthy of something we would make it happen, or if they wanted to help us they would do it without asking.
If you have a hard time asking for help or better it is great tap-able issue. Here is a tap along for just this: What Would I Choose For Today?
Regardless of what you think about Dr. Phil his sense of needing to take action, take control, and take responsibility for your life is something we can all strive for. You don’t have to do it all at once, but if you take the time to tap to a few of these scripts you will create space to take action.
Do you have a favorite Dr. Phil quote, favorite way of cutting through the BS, or feel one of these quotes motivating you? Let me know below in the comments.