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Why I hate (the name) Emotional Freedom Techniques

July 8, 2017 By Gene Monterastelli 20 Comments

Note: This article was originally shared on Sept 2nd, 2012 with the title “Why I Hate Emotional Freedom Techniques”. This is an updated and edited version of that article.

I have a confession to make. I hate Emotional Freedom Techniques.

OK, I don’t hate the tool, but I do hate the name.

In the beginning I hated the name because I thought it did the technique such a disservice.

Here we were being given this amazingly powerful tool that was changing people’s lives. It was helping them to release lifelong limiting beliefs, ameliorate chronic physical pain, ease deep-seated emotional issues, and eliminate cravings. It has brought relief to people in hospitals, in war-torn countries and disaster zones, and in prisons.

As a professional using EFT I thought the name “Emotional Freedom Techniques” undermined just how powerful a tool it is.

As someone who has used tapping for many years, I know what that freedom feels like after a powerful tapping session. The world feels new because we have released what has been holding us back. But this is the language of someone who has used EFT and experienced its benefits.

For those who haven’t used it before, it is easy to perceive EFT as something frivolous and unpowerful.

For a number of years I was given the opportunity to teach tapping as part of an anger management class in a county jail. One day in class I was telling the guys in jail about my disdain for the name and one of them piped up and said, “You’re right. It shouldn’t be called EFT. It should be BET: Balanced Emotion Techniques.”

It wasn’t just the fact the name was undermining its power, but instead the name wasn’t accurately describing what was going on.

The Goal Is Not To Be Free From Emotions

His comment made me think about the way I teach tapping. Over and over again I teach that emotions are not the problem. Emotions are not the enemy. Emotions are information.

Every time we feel an emotion, our system is just giving us information. When I feel sad, it is saying that something important is missing. When I feel angry, it is telling me that it perceives attack. When I feel frustrated, it is letting me know I am not getting what I want.

This information is both helpful and useful. The goal of tapping isn’t to be free of these emotions.

First, the goal of tapping is to make sure that emotions show up at the right time.

For example, it is right that I fear lions, but if I fear them so much that I can’t leave my apartment in Brooklyn because I know there is a lion ten miles away in the Bronx Zoo, then that fear is completely out of proportion.

Second, the goal of tapping is to make sure emotions are showing up to the right degree.

For example, when someone cuts me off on the highway the rush of adrenalin triggered will help sharpen my senses and help me to control the car and stay safe. If that rush goes on so long that it overwhelms my system and I end up on the side of the road crying for 45 minutes because I almost died, the reaction produced is out of proportion.

I want and need my emotions. They are an important part of how I navigate the world. I don’t want to be free of them.

What Is Important In The End

I have arrived at a point where I mostly just call what I do tapping, because I don’t tap in exactly the way Gary Craig originally taught. But again, that is less important.

What is more important is the fact that we have a clear understanding of what the goal of tapping is. For me, the goals are:

  • to help my emotions to show up in a proportional and well-informed way
  • to create the space to hear the message these emotions are trying to convey
  • to release any useful or limiting beliefs about about myself and the world
  • to take the actions I want to take with confidence

I know that if I tap regularly on my emotions, issues, and beliefs, then that will happen. If that happens, then it doesn’t matter if we call it tapping, EFT or Chad. It only matters that I am living the life I want.

Filed Under: Tools Tagged With: How To

Keeping Calm

June 27, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli 2 Comments

One of the highlights of my recent visit to London was getting to visit the Churchill War Rooms. It was amazing to get that close to history.

There and everywhere else in London where tourists gathered you could find recreations of the World War II posters “Keep Calm and Carry On”. Though little used during WWII (full history) it made its way back into the public eye in 2000.

Here are two fun (or cheesy, depending on your point of view) twists on the posters. Feel free to use and share them however you like.

Version 1

Version 2

Filed Under: Tools Tagged With: Calm

My Holiday Embarrassment

January 6, 2013 By Gene Monterastelli 7 Comments

I spent the Christmas holiday in my home state of Wyoming. The last night I was home my sister asked if I could share a way she could tap for a friend who was grappling with a lot of difficult changes in his life.

I spent about 30 minutes talking my sister (and my mother) through the “Talk About, Talk To, Talk As If” tool.

My sister then asked if it would a good idea if we tapped for a family member, “Bob,” who was having a particularly hard time.

It hit me like a ton of bricks… not only could Bob use some surrogate tapping, so could so many people in my life. And not just the people who were having a really tough time.

In the “My EFT Year” project I am obviously making it a priority to look at my goals but somehow I had lost track of what was outside me.

Then my mother asked if anyone has ever tried tapping on world peace… and again I felt crushed by disappointment. I knew things like this had been done before (see crime reduction in Washington, DC).

Years ago I even created the website Tapping4Peace.com encouraging people to do just that.

I regularly tap surrogately for people who ask, but somehow I lost my way in just tapping for others in my life.

For the last week I have been finding a little time each day to tap for others. I am not doing anything too complicated, just thinking of a loved one and of all the wonderful things I would like to show up in their life, and tapping.

It only takes two or three minutes.

It is really that simple.

By doing this regularly it has changed my daily disposition and has helped me to act in a more loving way.

Give it a try.

It will only take two minutes.

And let me know below how it goes.

Filed Under: Tools Tagged With: Others, Peace, Surrogate

Self Sabotage: The Number One Issue I Use EFT For (And How I Get Past It)

August 7, 2012 By Gene Monterastelli Leave a Comment

Good morning!

Don’t you hate it when you get in your own way?

You know what you want, you know the right steps to take, and you just don’t take action.

(And to make matters worse, you then beat yourself up for not doing what you need to do.)

I use EFT first and foremost for self sabotage.

Not only do I tap on self sabotage every day, it is the one thing that has made the most profound impact in my life.

I want to teach you how I deal with self sabotage.

I have created a 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide” and I would like you to have it free of charge.

Here is how you can receive it.

If you sign up you will also receive the 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide”.

Starting the day you sign up, you will receive an email every other day until you have all 10 parts.

This will not interrupt the regular emails I send to you. It is just an added bonus.

I Need Your Input

Since you have been around the block a few times with EFT I would really value your feedback. Let me know how the steps are working for you, what is going well, what needs improvement, and in which places you think I have completely lost my mind.

Just reply to any of the emails to let me know your thoughts.

Sign up now! I know you want to stop the self sabotage. Get started on knocking it out.

As always, let me know what I can do for you!

Filed Under: Tools Tagged With: Self Sabotage

Are You Entitled to Success? Passive Entitlement v. Active Entitlement

June 17, 2012 By Gene Monterastelli 1 Comment

[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our minds, giving us opportunities for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

photo by SweetCakery

In a recent episode of “Making It w/ Riki Lindhome” Riki and Pete Holmes were talking about the idea of entitlement. They were discussing the sense of entitlement that many young actors have when they first get to Hollywood. Many of them arrive in Los Angeles having been stars of their local theater scene. They think that by simply showing up they are entitled to success.

Riki made a distinction between “passive” and “active” entitlement. She stated that passive entitlement is when you show up to a situation and simply expect to get your way. For example, in a new job feeling like I should be able to work on the coolest projects.

On the other hand active entitlement is much more about what you are willing to work for. For example, who is to say that I am not capable of writing a best selling book? Writers of best sellers are not a preordained group of people who were destined for success. If I am willing to put in the work (i.e. by being active) then I, as much as anyone else, am entitled to create a best seller.

When we are in a state of passive entitlement we are not going to be able to move forward and are going to feel bitter that the universe is not giving us our just deserts. When we are in a state of active entitlement we recognize that we are capable of anything if we are willing to seize the opportunity.

To make sure that we are in a state of active entitlement we can tap on something like this:

I know that I am capable of being successful…I know that I have been made for success…but success and opportunity aren’t going to just show up at my front door…I need to seek success…I need to work for success…The universe owes me nothing more than the opportunity to work for what I am made to be…This does not mean that it must be a great struggle…This does not mean that I have to toil to achieve success…But I am entitled to success…I am entitled to opportunity…I have been made for this…I give myself permission to work actively towards the opportunities and success I am entitled to.

Action Step: What is something that you feel others are entitled too, but isn’t for you? Take a few moments to tap on it with the script above. Do it now! It will only take 90 seconds.

Filed Under: Tools Tagged With: Action, entitlement, Words

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Meet Gene Monterastelli

Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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