Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #41: Power of Forgiveness

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One of the most powerful tools in transformation is our ability to forgive ourselves and others. When we forgive we are not saying it is ok. We are not saying we want to have the same thing happen again. What we are saying is that we are choosing no longer to be emotionally entangled in the past. Forgiveness is one of the steps of moving from reliving to remembering.

In this show we will explore the power of forgiveness and how we can use tapping to make forgiveness of others and ourselves an important part of our transformation.

Pod #40: Questions and Answers About Tapping

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Gene host's a radio program every other Tuesday @ Emotional Freedom Techniques Community Radio. In the most recent show Gene answered questions from beginners and practitioners alike from all over the world.

On this show Gene tackles for bigger questions

This week Gene answered:

  • Should I be working with a practitioner and how do I choose one?
  • I have seen some other tapping protocols that don't use the same points that are taught in the EFT manual. Is it okey if I use other tapping points or will this mess things up?
  • I have heard you talk about in the past that you don't trust what a client says about their issue? What do you mean by this and with this in mind how do you work?
  • I want to quit smoking. I tap on “Even though I am a smoke I love and accept myself” This makes me feel a little less stressed about quitting smoking, but I still smoke as much as ever. What can I do?

Important Links:

“…and I choose this for my reality!”

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our mind giving us opportunity for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

One of the common mistakes we make when assessing a situation is making a generalizations. We say things like, “Everyone at work hates me!” or “Nothing I do is good enough for my boss!” It is obvious with a few moments of reflection that these statements aren't true. Sure, there might be one or two people at work we don't get along with, but it is not “everyone”.

The problem with these types of generalizations is they move us to a place were we are responding to them as if they were true. (The words we say out loud have that much power.)

If I walk into my workplace believing that everyone hates me I am going to act in a particular way. If I walk into my workplace believing that I don't get along with Bill and Mary. I am going to act in a different way.

In the first situation I am going to come in ready for a fight at every turn while in the second situation I am going to know the two people I need to avoid through out the day if it is possible. Those are two dramatically different emotional states.

In addition to the generalization that we can have about what others think and feel we can also fall into the trap of generalization about ourselves. For example we can have generalization about our own actions and outcomes, “I fail at everything I try!”

One of the most troublesome of these generalizations about ourselves we can have is when we assign a characteristic of a group to ourselves. These types of generalizing can be about (but not limited to) our gender, race/ethnicity, age, job, and family. For example:

  • You know that men aren't very good with talking about their emotions.
  • You know how fiery the Irish can be.
  • People my age can't learn all this new technology.
  • EFT practitioners are just bad at marketing themselves.
  • The men in my family have never been lucky in relationships.

These types of generalization (like all generalization) often have a seed of truth in them. They become problematic when they are taken as total truth.

If I believe that, “The men in my family have never been lucky in relationships” then it is going to be very easy for me on a subconscious level to sabotage myself. Because I “know” it isn't going to work out in the end I might as well end it now to avoid future pain.

It is amazing how a simple statement that we would just toss off as a fact the same way we would say “It is sunny today” can so dramatically affect our behavior.

I have found a very simple way that we can take the power out of these phrases. We can do this by bring our own responsibility to these statements. All we need to do is add, “…and I choose this as my reality” to the end of the phrase. When we do this we are changing from a member of a group with a characteristic (which we are a victim of) to being a person who is choosing our own reality.

Notice how much different each of these phrase feel when we add that phrase on to the end:

  • You know that men aren't very good with talking about their emotions and I choose this as my reality.
  • You know how fiery the Irish can be and I choose this as my reality.
  • People my age can't learn all this new technology and I choose this as my reality.
  • EFT practitioners are just bad at marketing themselves and I choose this as my reality.
  • The men in my family have never been lucky in relationships and I choose this as my reality.

When we choose something it means that we can change it. I am not longer at the mercy of the whims of fate, but I am back in control. If I want to keep that as my reality, great(!), but it is my choice. If I want to be something else I can choose that as well. When we take responsibility for our situation then we control our situation. When we control our situation we can become who we want to be.

Creativity Boosting Techniques That Accelerate Tapping Success (AKA: How To Keeping Tapping When It Gets Boring Or Stale) Part 2 of 4

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[This article is part of a four part series on how to get create with tapping when you are stuck or bored with tapping. A new part willed be added every few weeks. See the parts that have been published so far and check back regularly to see the full series.]

photo by Ali Edwards

Mechanically tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very easy thing to do. All you need is to provide stimulus to the tapping points plus tuning into the issue at hand. The tapping part is easy; what can be hard is the tuning in part. Often we are so close to an issue or we have been working on an issue that it is difficult to see it clearly.

Recently Jeremy Dean's PSYBlog had a very interesting two part series (via kottke.org) which explored 14 of ways we can become more creative and more efficient problem solvers. In this four part series I am going to explore how we can apply many of these insights to tune into our issues in new ways (plus a few of my own).

Obviously not all of these are going to work for every issue, but by having a complete menu to choose from you are going to find new ways to approach the issue.

Path Of Most Resistance (via part 1)

When people try to be creative they usually take the path of least resistance by building on existing ideas (Ward, 1994). This isn't a problem, as long as you don't mind variations on a theme.

If you want something more novel, however, it can be limiting to scaffold your own attempts on what already exists. The path of most resistance can lead to more creative solutions.

◊ For insight: because it's the path of least resistance, every man and his dog is going up and down it. Try off-road.

How to apply to tapping: One of the reasons I love EFT/tapping is because we can gently creep up on an issue. We don't have to throw ourselves right in the middle of the emotion to do work. Sometimes we can prevent our own progress because we are proceeding so cautiously that we aren't making any progress at all.

If this is case you might consider going all the way and really getting after an issue. There are some obvious risks to taking this approach. If we dive in headfirst we get into an emotional state that is overwhelming which prevents any progress at all or we could open an emotional issue that we then carry with us for a great deal of time after our tapping time.

I would only recommend this type of approach with a skilled practitioner. Being a skilled practitioner is more than just being able to lead clients to healing, but also being able to recognize possible pit falls helping you to prevent them or to pull you back when you have become consumed with your emotions.

Re-Conceptualisation (via part 1)

People often jump to answers too quickly before they've really thought about the question. Research suggests that spending time re-conceptualising the problem is beneficial.

Mumford et al. (1994) found that experimental participants produced higher quality ideas when forced to re-conceive the problem in different ways before trying to solve it. Similarly a classic study of artists found that those focused on discovery at the problem-formulation stage produced better art (Csikszentmihalyi & Getzels, 1971).

◊ For insight: forget the solution for now, concentrate on the problem. Are you asking the right question?

How to apply to tapping: We become very comfortable with our own story. When someone asks about the work we do we can effortlessly jump in to a quick description of our work. The same is true with our family, our significant other, where we grow up and the like.

It is no different with the issues of our lives, especially for the ones that have been present for many years. There a times in client session where I can hear my client hit the play button to start to tell me the story they have told many times before. The have told the story (“I all started when I was 7…”) so many times that they aren't even listening to the words they say. It just becomes automatic.

These stories about our issues might have been true at one point, but as more time passes and we keep telling the same story it is less and less likely to be accurate. If you find yourself in this type of rut I would recommend two tactics.

First, retell your story (your explanation of why you are the way you are), but think about every statement to see if they are true. I am not just talking about the fact as we know them, but also (and most importantly) the motivation we have assigned to others peoples acting.

For example, it is true a co-worked showed up 10 minutes late to the meeting. When I tell the story I say that Sally showed up to the meeting 10 minutes late because she doesn't respect me. The second part of that statement might or might not be true. If we have been telling the story for a while we probably are just taking it as fact and no longer looking to if it is true.

Take every part of your story/explanation a take it apart to see what it is true and what is not.

Second, image what it would be like to re-explain the situation to someone who has no understand of what is going on. I often do this were I image I am explain the situation to an alien from another plant who has just made it to Earth. Since they have no understanding of how humans behave I need to be very clear in articulating everything that is going on. I can't assume they know anything at all. This will force me to look at each of the statements in detail which will provide me the opportunity to see things in a new way.

Counterfactual Mindset (via part 2)

Conjuring up what might have been gives a powerful boost to creativity.

Markman et al. (2007) found that using counterfactuals (what might have happened but didn't) sometimes doubled people's creativity. But counterfactuals work best if they are tailored to the target problem:

  • Analytical problems are best tackled with a subtractive mind-set: thinking about what could have been taken away from the situation.
  • Expansive problems benefited most from an additive counterfactual mind-set: thinking about what could have been added to the situation.

How to apply to tapping: You can use this approach for things that have happened in the past, things that are happening right now, or things that might (!) happen in the future.

All you need to do is replay in your mind the situation while making a few changes. You can do this in both a subtractive and additive way. You can add resources or people to the image. This would look like imagining the same situation unfolding taking out or adding one or two people. How would things be different with these changes?

When we do this we will see our current issues in a new light, gain insight in to new outcomes, and/or see the root issue in a new way.

This is part 1 of a 4 part series. Check out all 4 parts for more creative ideas.

Letting Go

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photo by Melanie Milliken

Often times when we are approaching transformation we look to adding new skills and resources (to do new things) or to heal past wound (that have us trapped in the past). These are great paths to pursue with our work, but they are not the only paths.

Many times we are carrying emotions, memories, or beliefs from the past that are no longer useful in the present. We also choose to carry burdens and problems for our loved ones. Letting go of these no longer useful burdens can quickly open us for healing of the issues we face in this moment.

When I am working with clients one of the first things I have them do is to let go of anything extra from the past that they don't need now. To do this I have them simply scan their system. While they are scanning the system I have them look for anything that they are holding on to that is no longer useful. I have them simply say (as they tap):

“At one time these thoughts, feels, and emotions were useful…they were there to serve some purpose…they have done their job and are no longer needed…because they have done their job I thank them…and let them pass on…if they are needed again in the future…they can come back…but they have done all they need to do…I also recognize what I am carrying for others…it is a high act of love to carry someone else's burden…but it is a higher act of love to let it go…I am not giving it back…but I am releasing it.”

Just this short set of tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT) will quickly bring the system to calm and balance to deal with what is at hand. By releasing the excess we can see the true issue at hand.

Another great way to achieve this state is to tap to a poem like this:

Letting Go by Suzanne Marshall Lucas

Giving up is merely quitting. Letting go is sweet release.
Giving up is cries of anguish. Letting go is perfect peace.
Giving up is hard and heavy. Letting go is loose and light.
Giving up is simply failure. Letting go, success in sight.
Letting go I train my blueprint for a perfect pure design.
Giving up is very human. Letting go is most Divine.
Giving up is death at sundown. Letting go, the Rising Sun.
Giving up is “there, it’s over.” Letting go, “I’ve just begun.”

Creativity Boosting Techniques That Accelerate Tapping Success (AKA: How To Keeping Tapping When It Gets Boring Or Stale) Part 1 of 4

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[This article is part of a four part series on how to get create with tapping when you are stuck or bored with tapping. A new part willed be added every few weeks. See the parts that have been published so far and check back regularly to see the full series.]

photo by Maureen Flynn-Burhoe

Mechanically tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very easy thing to do. All you need is to provide stimulus to the tapping points plus tuning into the issue at hand. The tapping part is easy; what can be hard is the tuning in part. Often we are so close to an issue or we have been working on an issue that it is difficult to see it clearly.

Recently Jeremy Dean's PSYBlog had a very interesting two part series (via kottke.org) which explored 14 of ways we can become more creative and more efficient problem solvers. In this four part series I am going to explore how we can apply many of these insights to tune into our issues in new ways (plus a few of my own).

Obviously not all of these are going to work for every issue, but by having a complete menu to choose from you are going to find new ways to approach the issue.

Psychological Distance (via part 1)

People often recommend physical separation from creative impasses by taking a break, but psychological distance can be just as useful.
Participants in one study who were primed to think about the source of a task as distant, solved twice as many insight problems as those primed with proximity to the task (Jia et al., 2009).

◊ For insight: Try imagining your creative task as distant and disconnected from your current location. This should encourage higher level thinking.

How to apply to tapping: You can use this issue in two ways.

First, imagine you are having your same issue, but place yourself having the issue in some distant place. Make this place distinct from your daily life without any of the people you normally interact with. Notice what happens to the issue in this new context. Is it stronger, weaker, or do you have insight about the issue?

Second, image yourself in a complete safe (and a place that you can leave anytime you want) space. It might be an empty room or it might be just a vast empty space. As you experience your issue in a space that is disconnected from everything else is it stronger, weaker, or do you have a new insight about the issue?

Fast Forward In Time (via part 1)

Forster et al. (2004) asked participants to think about what their lives would be like one year from now. They were more insightful and generated more creative solutions to problems than those who were thinking about what their lives would be like tomorrow.
Thinking about distance in both time and space seems to cue the mind to think abstractly and consequently more creatively.

◊ For insight: Project yourself forward in time; view your creative task from one, ten or a hundred years distant.

How to apply to tapping: You can use this to find information about the issue as well information on how to transform the issue.

First, see yourself one, five, and ten years from now. How is the issue impacting your life now? Is it the same or is it different? If it is different, different how? What new information and insight do you have about the issue?

Second, see yourself one, five, and ten year from now without the issue. How does it feel to be free of the issue? Ask this future you how it was able to make this transformation.

Use Bad Moods (via part 1)

Positive emotional states increase both problem solving and flexible thinking, and are generally thought to be more conducive to creativity. But negative emotions also have the power to boost creativity.

One study of 161 employees found that creativity increased when both positive and negative emotions were running high (George & Zhou, 2007). They appeared to be using the drama in the workplace positively.

◊ For insight: negative moods can be creativity killers but try to find ways to use them—you might be surprised by what happens.

How to apply to tapping: When we are tapping we can become very frustrated with the lack of progress. Many times this frustration can become full blown anger. Anger is a powerful emotion. It exists as a power to defend ourselves. Why not tune into this power solve your problem.

I would recommend tapping on something like this:

Right now I am very angry…I am very mad…I am mad because things are going the way I would like…I am mad because I am stuck in this place…I am angry because I don't know where to go next…I know this anger is a part of me that very powerfully wants better…I know this anger is wanting me to be healthier and more peaceful…the anger is fighting for me…It is just not being very effective…Right now I want my anger to transform into something more useful…I want to use its power not to just fight off the perceived attack…but instead become a force to look for solutions to the issue at hand…I know my anger has power…now is the time I tap into it.

This is part 1 of a 4 part series. Check out all 4 parts for more creative ideas.

The Stories We Have Been Told About Success

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photo by Jen Watson

Many times we are making choices and responding to the world based on the expectations that we have received from friends, family, and cultural norms. These expectations might not be useful to who we would like to become. In many cases they can stop our progress. Here is a very simple Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping technique that can be used when dealing with the expectations that we have received from others.

I have been working with “Martin” for a while. He wanted to see transformation in what he did for a living. He felt as if there was a higher calling for his life that he had not been able to figure out. After a number of very successful sessions Martin plateaud.

Martin had come to a much clearer vision of what he wanted his life to look like, but for some reason he just couldn't act. As we were talking about this the wall he had bumped into he said, “I know what I need to do, but I am stuck on all these stories of what at 35 year olds life is suppose to look like.”

The instance he said those words I had the flash of a book in my imagination. I instructed Martin start tapping and to image that we was sitting at a table with a blank book and a pen on the table. I then asked him to start to write all of the stories that had been given to him about what a 35 year olds life should look like.

I told him to take his time, to write as much as he needed, if he needed another book because he had filled the first it would just appear on the table, and asked him to let me know when he was done writing.

I check in with him ever few minutes for the next 20 minutes as he wrote and wrote and wrote.

After filling five books he let me know that he was done.

I then asked him what we should do with these books. “Do we lock them away? Put them on a shelf for later use? Destroy?”

He replied, “I am not one who thinks that it is a good idea to burn books, but in this case I will make an exception.”

[Important Note: Early in my practice I would have simply instructed my client to try to destroy the book in his imagination because that is what I would have wanted to do. I have learned over time that client's system knows what is the best way to proceed. I will give options, like I did in this case, to spark the clients imagination, but I leave the next step up to them.]

In his imagination he poured gasoline on the books and lit them. I asked Martin if the books were burning. He said, “No”.

At this point we started to explore the different reasons why it was hard to let go of the stories in those books. We discovered that part(s) of him felt:

  • If the stories were let go then the people who passed those stories along would also be let go.
  • If the stories were let go then there would be no guidance at all.
  • What if the stories were let go, but needed later they couldn't be found?
  • What if the stories were really right?

One at a time we tapped on these issues. After we cleared all the issues Martin tried again to burn the books. This time he was successful and felt a great sense of relief and freedom.

The Process
The process itself is very easy to be repeated.

  • Start tapping and just move from tapping point to tapping point every few seconds.
  • Image yourself sitting at a table giving yourself permission to write all the stories that have been given to you about what the world thinks success is for you.
  • If you need more books they will appear.
  • After the writing is done ask your system what you need to do with these books so that you can be free from others stories so that you can write your own.
  • If you are unable to complete the step of freeing yourself tap on the issues that are making it difficult for you to let these stories go.
  • Do what your system needs to release these stories.

Getting specific with EFT

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One of the biggest problems with getting results while tapping with Emotional Freedom Techniques is we impede our success because we are not specific enough. In this article Rod Sherwin shows very simple way of using four questions to help us to get more specific.


photo by Jake Bouma

One of the consistent guidelines from EFT Founder Gary Craig was to identify specific events to tap on for broad emotional issues such as depression, stress, anger, and anxiety.

I recommend a few rounds of EFT initially focusing on the general feeling because it helps to take the edge of the intensity of the issue and feel safer about dropping deeper into the feelings and core issues. Being generic will help relieve the intensity but if you want the issue gone for good you want to get to specific events. This initial tapping on the general feeling might include:

“Even though I feel…I acknowledge how I feel”
“Even though I feel…and it seems so global, I'm curious about exploring this issue from the safety of where I am right now”
“Even though I feel…I choose to feel safe and secure in exploring this issue in more detail”

Repeat the above tapping for a few rounds until you feel ready to explore the issues in more detail.

Once you do feel ready to continue, it's time to get specific with these key questions:

  • What?
  • When?
  • Where?
  • Who?

The first question, “What?”, is to identify something that has happened (or is still happening) that you feel contributes to the general issue with which you are dealing. Sometimes a memory or event will come into mind while you are doing the initial tapping described above. Go with that memory even if you can't see a logical connection because you subconscious has brought it up for a reason. Once you have identified the event, write down a title for the event. Just one sentence to describe it, like a title for a movie.

The second question, “When?”, helps you locate the event in you own personal timeline. How old were you when the event occurred? What year was it? Were you still at school? Were you at college or university? What was your occupation at the time? Was it before or after you got married; had your first child? All of these questions help you fix the event in time. Write down the answer to “When?”.

Next is “Where did the event happen?”. Was it at home, work, or school? If it was in the home, was it in the bedroom, kitchen, lounge room, or back yard? If it was at work, was it in the bosses office, the kitchen, a meeting room? If it was a school, was it in the common room, science lab or playground? Again these questions help make the event specific.

You do not necessarily need answers to all of these questions before you start tapping as tapping on what you do remember will sharpen the memory anyway. When working with clients, I continuously see more and more details about a memory emerge as we tap on an issue until we have dealt with every aspect.

The final question to investigate is “Who else was there?” This can be the most emotionally charged question, so if even the thought of answering this question makes you uncomfortable, do a few rounds of tapping until you comfortable continuing. See if you can identify everyone who was in that memory as it can be useful to tap while focusing on each of them in turn. If someone was absent and should have been there, write them down as well to tap on the feelings that come up when you tune into them in association with this memory.

Now that you have identified the what, when, where, and who, you can combine them all into one tapping set-up phrase or break them up and use each snippet of information as you progress through the tapping points. After a few rounds, check through the questions again to see if you have more information, the emotional charge has changed in some way or you are done with that aspect all together.

Asking what, when, where and who helps you identify a specific event related to a general issue, clear all aspects the event, and give you emotional freedom from this memory. It will also contribute to the generalisation effect of healing related events.

Do No Harm

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[Note: This article is part 2 of 4 in the series “4 Principles I Never Break As A Practitioner”. In this series I am discussing four of the fundamental principles I never break in running my business. A new article will be added to the site every two or three weeks. You can read the full series and you can check out all the free practitioner resources.]


photo by Taber Andrew Bain

The Hippocratic Oath (or some oath similar to it) is taken by most medical doctors in the western world. It is believed that it is based upon an oath written by the father of western medicine Hippocrates in the 5th century BCE.

I am not a doctor and I never give any medical advice, but I think there is a lot that we as practitioners can learn from the Hippocratic Oath. Here it is in the modern version (Written in 1964 by Louis Lasagna, Academic Dean of the School of Medicine at Tufts University):

“I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this covenant:

I will respect the hard-won scientific gains of those physicians in whose steps I walk, and gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are to follow.

I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures [that] are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism.

I will remember that there is art to medicine as well as science, and that warmth, sympathy, and understanding may outweigh the surgeon's knife or the chemist's drug.

I will not be ashamed to say “I know not,” nor will I fail to call in my colleagues when the skills of another are needed for a patient's recovery.

I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given to me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.

I will remember that I do not treat a fever chart, a cancerous growth, but a sick human being, whose illness may affect the person's family and economic stability. My responsibility includes these related problems, if I am to care adequately for the sick.

I will prevent disease whenever I can, for prevention is preferable to cure.

I will remember that I remain a member of society, with special obligations to all my fellow human beings, those sound of mind and body as well as the infirm.

If I do not violate this oath, may I enjoy life and art, respected while I live and remembered with affection thereafter. May I always act so as to preserve the finest traditions of my calling and may I long experience the joy of healing those who seek my help.”

Share Knowledge
One of the things I love about the tapping community is the general willingness to share. Gary Craig deserves a great deal of credit for fostering this spirit in the ways he shared Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) from the very beginning. This tradition in continued through articles, blogs, videos, and forums. I know my knowable base and skill set have grown because the great generosity of others.

I think we should all strive for a generous spirit when it comes to sharing our knowledge and experience. The first three articles in this series talk about the many ways we can share our knowledge and participate in the community.

Art and Science
There is a great deal of talk in the tapping community about the “art of delivery”. This is such an important concept. The art of delivery is all about how we interact with our clients in terms of building relationship, guiding the healing process, and teaching new concepts and skills. Client work is not some math equation in which you enter in a few pieces of data and know what the next step is.

No two clients are the same and no two issues are the same. Some clients aren't very good at talking about what they are experiencing. They just know something isn't right. Often time our job as practitioners is simply to provide our clients a safe place to share their struggles and help them to find vocabulary to describe what they are experiencing.

In addition to spending time learning about new techniques and how to approach different types of issues we also need to spend time developing our skills to work with and understand people. I many times my clients know the next step on their healing path and simply need the space and safety to discover what that next step is.

Being Able To Say “I don't know.”
People come to us because we are the experts. We have skills, experience, and perspectives that our clients don't have. Because of this we are able to help our clients down the healing path.

I love the fact that my clients are willing to trust me with the issues they are facing in their lives. Often times this can be a very humbling experience. Because of this trust I want to do everything I can to help my clients.

It can be a very scary moment when we run in to an issue that we don't know how to help. We want to be helpful, we don't want to let our clients down, and we don't want to look like we aren't capable (hurting our chances to help them again in the future).

Even with these desires it is very important that we are able to say, “I don't know.” This does not mean that we have failed our clients. Instead we have served them by not creating a false sense of expectations of what is going to be accomplished and we are keeping them safe be doing work we are not comfortable or qualified to do.

Here are a list of phrases that every practitioner should add to their repertoire:

  • I don't know
  • I don't know, but you should check with…
  • I don't know, but I will do some research on that topic.

Some of these moments where I have admitted that I didn't know what the best approach should be have been some of the best learning experiences for myself. I have been forced to research new ideas and to reach out to other practitioners I trust for their wisdom and expertise.

Working With People Not Issues
One of the reasons I believe that I am good as a practitioner is because of the experience I can draw on. There are a number of issues that I have worked with for years. Because of this I can often find my way to the root cause of issues faster than I could have even just one year ago. Being able to see patterns can be a very helpful tool but we can't get so wrapped up in what we believe is going on that we miss what is truly going on.

When we work with clients we are working with a person with an issue they would like to see transformed, not working with an issue that needs to be fixed. Just because a client is describing an issue you have worked with hundreds of times before doesn't mean it is the same issue or experience as your other clients. It is important we keep our past experiences in mind, but we can't loose sight of whom we are working with.

Do No Harm
The modern version of the oath has replaced the phrase “do no harm” with “avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism”. Personal, I like “do no harm”.

It seems silly that we need to be reminded of something like this, but it is very easy to get very wrapped up in the work we are doing and the issues that are at hand that we forget about consequences of our work beyond this moment.

It is important that we keep our clients full life in mind when working with them, not just our time with them. We need to make sure that we are leaving them in a healthy place at the end of a session to issue they are going to be safe and healthy for the rest of day.

It does us no good to searching for painful past memories if we don't have the time to work with them. We also need to be sure that we are not leaving our client so exhausted at the end of a session that they are not going to be able to do what they need to do the rest of the day.

When I am working with particularly emotional issues I am continually checking in with my clients to insure they not only have enough energy to continue our work, but also that they are in a place to do what they need to do for the rest of the day.

Conclusion
I think Hippocrates was right in his desire to insure all of those involved in healing we reminding themselves of that they are truly called to do and why they are called to do. We would also do ourselves (and our clients) a great service if we reminded ourselves of the same thing from time to time.

If you have thought our idea that should be part of a practitioners understanding of mission please add it below in the comments.

In part three if the “4 Principles Series” we will look at the most important thing to keep in mind when working with a clients: Becoming the trusted expert.

Note: Gene enjoys helping new practitioners build their practice and current practitioners grown there practice. Let Gene know if you would like to chat about how he could help your practice today. (And yes, the consultation is free)]

Reinforcing Progress By Recognizing Progress

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photo by David Goehring

Sometimes we make progress with our tapping that is so sublet that we don't even notice it. This is much like going on a long walk. Because the pace is so slow you don't realize how far you have gone.

Other times we make such a radical change that it is impossible to believe we had the problem before. This is something that always makes me smile. I will be working with a client on an issue that is so gripping it is the only thing they can think of. After doing some work I will ask them to tune back into the issue and they will say something like, “Oh, we don't have to worry about that, because that isn't really an issue.”

We don't have to recognize the progress we are making. The simple fact that we are progressing and growing is reward enough for doing our tapping work, but there are some befits to recognizing our progress.

1) Encouragement
By seeing our progress we are going to keep working for more. It is very easy to be caught in our current emotional state. When it feels bad it is hard for us to recognize how much better thing are now than they once were. We when can take the long view and see our progress it encourages us to keep doing work.

With many of my regular clients every few weeks we have a conversation about the progress they are making because it is so easy to miss.

2) See what works
When we recognize progress in one area of our life we are willing to use the tool set in another. When we can see how tapping directly helped with our fear of speaking we are willing to use it on our procrastination.

3) Insight to be shared
When we can see the transformation that we are going through and why it is happening then we are able to share that experience with others. As we grow and change we can help other to do the same.

How To Reinforce
One of the skills I have taken from my hypnosis training is the recognition of the power of repeating an insight or change. By revisiting a thought again and again we can create a pattern that becomes our default position. We see that with our negative self-talk. Why not use it in a positive way?

A great way to do this is to tap on the insight and growth of the most recent session. All you need to do is complete and tap on the following phrases. This will help you to gain all the benefits of reinforcing your progress, plus give you great positive phrases to tune into.

  • I know I have changed because I now feel….
  • I know I have changed because I now believe…
  • I know I have changed because I now know…

Psychological Reversal

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One more time, what is the deal with psychological reversal and how does it relate to secondary gain?

A friend of mine was working on a writing project and she called to get my perspective on psychological reversal. Here are my reflections.

What is psychological reversal?
The entire body system and each piece of the system (such as a muscle group, organs, and individual muscle) have an electromagnetic current and frequency associated with it. It is this electromagnetic energy that manages much of the healing and growth inside they system.

For example, when we cut our finger the brain does not think over and over again, “Heal the finger. Heal the finger. Heal the finger.” until the finger is healed. Instead, the electromagnetic field around the finger changes. The body then responds to this new electromagnetic frequency in a number of ways. As white blood cells are floating by they encounter this new frequency, much like an alarm, and spring to action to create a scab to stop the bleeding. The skin cells respond to this new frequency buy building new cells to repair the wound. As the state of the wound changes the frequency will continue to change giving they parts of the system information to continue the healing until the cut is healed.

The electromagnetic frequency associated with the system (and each part of the system) has a current flow like any other current in nature. In the example of a magnet there is a north and south poles. If the current changes the directions it flow in a magnet the poles switch ends.

When we are psychologically reversed there is a reversal in the direction of the current in part or all of they system. When the current is reversed it is impossible for the system to create the frequency that will instruct the system to heal.

What is secondary gain?
Secondary gain is the name of the benefits that come from a certain issue. When secondary gain is present it is harder for us to change because we are losing the benefit from the issue.

Here are a few examples:

  • Pretend I am a smoker. As a smoker I am reasonably allowed to leave my desk every two hours for a 10 min break. If I quite smoking I will not be able to take these breaks.
  • Pretend that I am widower with adult children. I fall and hurt my hip. Now my kids are calling me each night, meals on wheels are coming by twice a day, and the pastor for my church is stopping by Sunday afternoon. If I get well I am going to lose all of this attention and be lonely once again.

As you can see in both of these examples, on a subconscious level the system is able to name something that is a gain by having this issue. For that reason the system is going to want to protect that gain by preventing the healing.

How are psychological reversal and secondary gain related?
Once the system recognized that there is gain in an issue it is going to do everything in is power to insure we don't lose that gain. The conscious mind might look at the smoking situation and think, “Yes, it is too bad that when I get better I am going to lose the attention I am currently receiving, but it is well worth it to lose the constant pain and to know that it is not going to develop into something much worse that could create long term health issues.”

The subconscious do not think in these cost benefit terms. Instead the subconscious mind thinks very simply in terms of protection. It is simply trying to protect the system from losing this newfound attention.

In this situation one of the ways the system can insure that it is going to keep getting the attention is by preventing the body from healing. A very easy tact to insure the body doesn't heal is to create psychological reversal in the area of the body that is injured, in this case the hip.

By reversing the electromagnetic field it is impossible to change frequencies to give the commands to heal. Since the system is not giving the signal to heal to wound persists. Therefore the system insures that the secondary gain of not being lonely is going to be preserved.

This is not the only reason for the system to by psychologically reversed, but to preserve secondary gain is one of the most common.

[Also, if this topic interests you please check out Podcast #25: Psychological Reversal w/ Gwenn Bonnell]

Pod #39: Questions and Answer

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Gene host's a radio program every other Tuesday @ EFT Radio On-line. In the most recent show Gene answered questions from beginners and practitioners alike from all over the world.

This week Gene answered:

  • I would like to know is why I just get temporaries results with EFT and tapping ?? and Why I don´t get good results with, self esteem ,fear of rejection, people speaking, failure, procrastination and discipline?
  • I want to tap everyday, but for some reason it doesn't happen. How can I make sure I tap every day?
  • As I do more work I am becoming more and more aware of my inner thoughts. One level this is good because I can see the areas of my life that I want to change, but in other ways it feels bad because I am always noticing it. Is there a way that I can keep from feeling so over whlemed about the amount of work i need to do?
  • Do I have to be seated while tapping or can I do it laying down?
  • My husband and I are having trouble conceiving a child. Can tapping help?
  • I am having a hard time coming up with phrases. Are there any tricks I can use?

Why It Is Good To Be Selfish

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our mind giving us opportunity for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]


photo by wonderferret

I think being selfish gets are really bad rap. Most people think that being selfish is bad. We are taught we must not be selfish, but instead we must be giving. I personally don't believe these things are opposite.

I believe that every act I make is a selfish act because it is a self-defining act. Let me give you a few ridicules examples to help prove my point.

Right now as I type the article I am taking a deep breath in which means I am being selfish. There is no other reason to breath than to stay alive. That is very selfish.

When I choose to love my family I am being selfish because I want to be a loving person. This is different than wanting to be seen as a loving person. I believe (and hope this is true) in my heart of hearts I can be and am a loving person. When I choose to love someone (and it is a choice) I am defining myself as a loving person.

When I choose to run my practice and help other people I am being selfish because I am choosing how I us my time. Yes I am helping people, and that is a great thing, but I am not healing them. That is their choice. I am just a guide in the process. They are being selfish when they choose to heal. I am being selfish when I choose to articulate who I am as person who guilds people on this path.

Yes, I know these examples are extremes, but I think they bring out the point because we think of being selfish in such extreme terms.

Not only is it okey to be selfish, it is impossible not to be selfish because every action we make with our conscious choice is a self-defining act.

When I work out to get healthier I am being selfish because I could be doing other things with my time. When I study a new skill I am being selfish to make myself a different type of person later. I am being selfish when I take a nap so I can be more present to my clients later this afternoon.

It is okay to be selfish.

The reason you are still feeling uncomfortable every time you read that is because it is very easy to believe that selfish equals greedy, mean, heartless, and willing to hurt other.

Other than this article I willing to bet less than five times in your life have you been told it is okey to be selfish.

We need to be selfish. If we don't take care of ourselves we are never going to be able to take care of others.

We need to be selfish. If we don't take care of ourselves then we aren't taking care of ourselves.

We need to be selfish. If we don't take care of ourselves we are never going to grow and heal in to who we truly are.

Yes, I know you are still resisting this. That is okey. Tapping for this might sound like:

I don't want to be selfish…because I need to care for other people…there are people who have it so much worse than I do…that I can't ask for anything more or better…and the things I have…I have squandered…it would be really selfish to ask for more…but I choose to know that selfish means I am making self defining act…every choice I make is a selfish act…I can love someone else and be selfish…because I want to be love…I can care for someone else because they are in need and be selfish…because I want to be giving…this doesn't take anything away from those loving acts…this doesn't mean they are less valuable…it just mean that when I am share I am also defining myself…it is okey to want better for myself…because I can then share with other…it is okey to want more for myself because then I can share more of the self with others…I am worthy of taking care of myself…that is not greedy…that is being healthy….I need to be healthy…I must be healthy…it is okey that I don't think being selfish is a bad thing…I don't want to be mean…I don't want to be greedy…but those are not the same a selfish…to be selfish is to choose to be the type of self I want to be.

The Growing Up Method

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photo by flydime

I am always on the look for new ways and easy ways to get tap on issues. Here is a great process by Natalie Hill. (Natalie writes regularly on new ways to approach tapping at EFT Tapping Techniques.

I really like Natalie's process because it is very straight forward and allows you to be very easy with yourself when coming up with phrases. I receive questions all the time about what is the right phrases to be used for a specific issue. The process is as easy as explaining to a close friend what is going on, what you would like to be able handle, and what you would like the outcome to be. Is a prefect example of how flexible the tapping protocols can be.

Step One: Dumping

When you first tune in to a strong emotional issue…

…you may hear things a two, five, 10 or 15-year old might think and feel.

Dumping is the ideal place to start, when you’re in that immature place.

In other words, for the first phase and rounds of this tapping technique, allow yourself be petty and childish.

Dump, vent, rant, whine, complain, moan, gripe.

Let all the negative out.

Don’t worry about accentuating or increasing the positive –
– you are doing a psychological cleanse.

Up and out with those petty thoughts and emotions.

If you ignore the crummy thoughts and feelings, try to deny or repress them, they will prevent you from fully resolving the issue. You’ll have an inner conflict, even if you’re not consciously aware of it.

After a few rounds of Dumping, you’ll feel a lot better.

The way I would do this step is just to start talking. Don't worry about crafting the perfect tapping phrase. Just start letting it out. As you do this just move from tapping point to tapping point. Just tap and let it out.

This is a great first step. I often refer to this step clearing the decks. Yes, it is very important to be very specific on the issue that we are tapping on, but sometimes there is so much spinning around in our head that it is impossible to focus. By dumping in this fashion we are going to clear out all the extraneous emotions and thoughts. This is the step that is going to allow us to find our way to what is really at the heart of the issue.

Often time when I this type of step with my clients a great deal of clarity is found. They go from “feeling really frustrated” to being able name what is really going on, giving us a great spring board to go after the deeper roots.

This step is not meant to take care of the issue completely. As Natalie writes, ” When you’re feeling somewhat better, down from where you started (or from an 8, 9 or 10) to somewhere between 4 and 7, move to Dreaming.”

Step Two: Dreaming

Dreaming is the way we sneak the change we want by the conscious and unconscious gatekeepers that don’t want us to change.

In this tapping technique, we are introducing the possibility of letting go of the stuck place, without raising so many objections.

In the dreaming phase, we start our EFT affirmations with the words,

“Wouldn’t it be nice if…”
“Wouldn’t it be great if…” or
“What if…”

For example if we were tapping for overwhelm, this might be your Dreaming tapping round:

Eyebrow: What if I could slow down a little?
Side of Eye: What if I could acknowledge that I don’t have to do everything right now?
Under Eye: What if could just focus on one task at a time?
Under Nose: Wouldn’t it be nice if I could relax, knowing I can’t get it all done in a day?
Chin: Wouldn’t it be nice if I could feel more confidence in myself?
Collarbone: Wouldn’t it be nice if I could trust that it will all work out?
Under Arm: What if I could focus on just the most important thing first?
Top of Head: What if I could let go of everything else?

You can do one, or several rounds in this Dreaming phase.

I love using questions when tapping. The subconscious mind does a wonderful job of filling in the blanks. Often times when we tap in this fashion we are going to come to insights and realizations. Clients often report a being amazed that the things there own system comes up with when tapping on questions.

One recommendation I might add to this is not to rush through a list of questions like these. Instead, linger on each question for a few tapping points allowing the system to sit with each questions, giving it a chance to provide useful information.

Natalie recommends that you do this type of tapping until you have reached the SUDs level of 3 or lower.

Step Three: Deciding

This will be your final round or two. Its intent is to bring you to a fully positive and empowered state, with your desired result.

You begin your EFT affirmations in this Deciding part of the process with the phrases,

“I have decided…” and
“I choose…”

To continue our example of tapping on feeling overwhelmed, this final round would go like this:

Eyebrow: I have decided I actually can handle everything I want and need to do.
Side of Eye: I have decided to focus on just one task at a time.
Under Eye: I have decided to feel confident about my abilities.
Under Nose: I choose to relax and do one thing at a time.
Chin: I choose to trust my judgment.
Collarbone: I choose to know that it will all work out fine.
Under Arm: I choose to remember I’m good at prioritizing.
Top of Head: I have decided to feel calm and confident.

It is amazing how much of a difference making a choice can make. Even if it is about something in the future, the simple act of committing to something moves the mind from the place of living in all of the possible outcomes.

I would also add “I give myself permission…” to this list of tapping phrases. I have found that giving permission is a powerful act that allows us to make transformation.

Natalie thoughtfully adds:

If, in any stage of this process, a new disturbing emotion or memory arises, take a little side-trip by returning to Dumping to clear it. Use the whole Growing Up process on that new emotion or memory. Then return to the place you left off in the process.

Giving It Away For Free – How I Give Things Away For Free (1c of 4)

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[Note: This article is part 1c of 4 in the series “4 Principles I Never Break As A Practitioner”. In this series I am discussing four of the fundamental principles I never break in running my business. A new article will be added to the site every two or three weeks. You can read the full series and you can check out all the free practitioner resources.]


photo by lazysupper

In part 1a we looked at the reasons for giving things away for free. In part 1b we looked at the costs and benefits of different types of free information and services. In this part we are going to look at the ways I use free in my practice.

Let me be very clear; this is not the best way or only way to use free stuff, it jus the way I am doing it.

1) The Web Site And Podcast
This is by far my biggest effort when it comes to free. I will be honest; my publication schedule is crazy. There is a new free resource on this site every three or four days. I spend as much as 20 hours a week on content. I would not recommend this for you (or anyone for that matter), especially when you are first starting out.

There are some great websites I read and podcasts I listen to that only produce content once a month. If you are starting to produce free content once a month is a great publication schedule to start with. People's lives are busy and they don't have time to consume all of the content that is out there.

I have other goals for the content that I create beyond just what we are talking about here and that is part of the reason I have such an ambitious publication schedule. [Read more about why I have this site.]

2) Six Audios + Newsletter
My newsletter is very important because it gives me the opportunity to reach out to readers. It is one thing to have a website that people are going to visit, but everyone has busy lives. They are going to forget you are out there. But when you have permission to send them e-mails then you have a chance to remind them that you are out there. Every Thursday I send a note to my readers that lists all the new information on the site, if there are any new products, and just a quick note to say hi.

I am sure we all have newsletter overload. There is so much out there. The free six audios I offer are an enticement to get visitors to sign up. Sure they can unsubscribe anytime they want (like right after they receive the sixth audio), but it cost me nothing to offer it to them once the audios were produced and hopefully they will stick around.

A common mistake I see made with newsletters is they don't contain any content. There are a number of newsletters I get that only have announcements of new classes and new products. Yes, I want to hear what these people are up to, but if it is nothing more than a string of announcements I am not going to rush to open it. About once every three or four weeks I send a direct sales letter, but every other newsletter I send out over the month contains links to at least two free resources (sometimes more).

I want people to be excited to get my newsletter because they know they are going to get content that will improve their Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping skill set. Every time I deliver something of value I am building my credibility and reputation with my readers that will lead to sales and session.

It is important to note that less than 5% of my readers are ever going to buy anything. That is fine because it cost me very little time to provide this free information to my readers.

3) Being Interviewed
I can't think of a time that I have turned down being interviewed. This true for articles, podcast, teleclasses, and radio programs. Being interviewed costs us very little time and gives us the benefit of having someone else speak to our value by introducing us to their readers and listeners. I see a spike in newsletter sign-ups and have tracked sales directly to these interviews.

When people are interviewing you they know you are giving your time and expertise. In exchange for this they are willing to let you promote yourself. When I do an interview I always set up something for the listeners. I will create a special web page just for the interview and give the listeners a free audio.

4) Free One-On-One Sessions
As we talked about before this is a high cost, but high impact give away. The main way I give free sessions away in through the podcast. In each podcast I share a word or phrase with the listeners. If they e-mail the word or phrase in they placed in drawing. One any given week I will do between one and three free sessions.

I have a very specific follow plan with these sessions. Three or four days after the session I send a note thanking them for giving me a chance to work with them, I ask them for a testimonial, and I offer them a chance to purchase a session or a bundle of sessions at discount.

5) Enticements To Buy
It has been proven that giving bonus with any purchase works. Every sales letter I have sent to my list (with only one exception) have contained bonuses. Yes the phrase, “But, that's not all” seems very cheesy, but the sentiment works. My basic rule of thumb is to offer 125% of the price of what I selling worth of bonus.

The nice thing about digital products (like tap along audios) is they cost me nothing more to add. I have already invested the time in their creation and it costs me nothing to give the buyer access to them.

Conclusion
These are just five ways you can use free to build your readership and/or client base. There are a million other ways to use free. What is most important is that you are doing it with a plan and to track your results to see if you are getting value for your free offers.

In part two if the “4 Principles Series” we will look at the most important thing to keep in mind when working with a clients: Do no harm!

Note: Gene enjoys helping new practitioners build their practice and current practitioners grown there practice. Let Gene know if you would like to chat about how he could help your practice today. (And yes, the consultation is free)]

Pod #38: EFT/Tapping, Religious Traditions, and Spiritual Practice

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One of the conversations I have most often around Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping is how it relates to religious traditions and spiritual practice. The questions range from, “Is it OK to tap based on my religion/belief system?” to “Can tapping help my spiritual practice?” I was interviewed by TapFest host Jondi Whitis and Co-Host Lillian Fimbres on EFT Radio and here is our complete conversation on the subject.

Giving It Away For Free – Types Of Things To Give Away For Free (1b of 4)

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[Note: This article is part 1b of 4 in the series “4 Principles I Never Break As A Practitioner”. In this series I am discussing four of the fundamental principles I never break in running my business. A new article will be added to the site every two or three weeks. You can read the full series and you can check out all the free practitioner resources.]


photo by Kevin Dooley

In part 1a of this series we looked at all of the reasons to give something away for free. In this part we are going to look at what you have to offer for free and type of impact each of these things will have.

There are few things to keep in mind when giving things away for free. We need to look at how much money something will cost us, how much time it will cost us, how many people we are going to reach, and what is the level of impact the give away is going to have.

1) Financial Cost
This is the easiest for figure out. Because my web server is a fixed cost it costs me nothing to offer free digital product (like audio and e-book downloads), articles, and podcasts. When I am doing live presentations or at health fairs I give free instruction and tap along CDs away. Because I already own a computer it costs me very little to produce these CDs. I only need to buy the blank CDs and envelops to put them in. I know a practitioner who gives away books instead of business cards. This cost a few dollars each for the book printing. I have given away $5 gift cards to Starbucks and ColdStone as part of promotions.

2) Time
With the exception of buying something to give away (like gift cards) everything we give away is going to cost some time. It takes time to write articles, record audios, give a free presentation, and work with someone one-on-one. Often times we don't think about this as an expense, but we only have limited amount of time each day. When we are giving something away for free we need to consider how much time it is going to cost us.

3) The Number Of People It Is Going To Reach
Everything we give away is going to have different number of people it can reach or will reach. When I put something on line the possible reach is anyone who makes it to my web site. (Note: Just because it can reach millions on -line doesn't mean it will reach millions.) When I am doing a live demonstration I could be reaching between 10 and 100 people. When I am giving away one-on-one session I am only reaching the person I am working with.

4) Impact Of The Give Away
Not all free things are created equal. The impact of a free audio is going to differ greatly from working with someone one-on-one because the one-on-one session is going to be much more personal than a general weight release audio. Giving a free book to someone is going to have a bigger impact than giving a business card.

Formula
So there is not hard and fast rule for how to figure this out, but you going to want to consider all these factors these factors when you are considering the types of giveaways you are going to do. Obviously the higher the cost (time and money) the higher the impact you are going to want. Let take a look at three examples.

1) Articles
It only costs me 1 hour to 90 minutes and no money (minus the coffee I consume while writing it) to create and publish a new article on my web site. The reach of this article can be very large (based on the number of people we are visiting my site). As time passes, the more regular readers I have the larger the reach of each article has. The impact of the article on an individual reader is relatively low.

As an extra bonus the article will live on my site forever. This allows readers to find it through web searches for years to come. As an added bonus, often times I receive a question from a reader about something I have already written about. I can give them a personal and immediate answer to their questions by sending them the link to the article with a note that reads, “Check this link out and let me know what further questions you have on the topic.

The goal of the article is to continue to build my reputation and relationship with my readers. From time to time one of my articles is going to go viral. Someone else will really like the article and share it with their readers expanding the reach, but I have no control over this factor. Also, it might only happen one in every twenty articles.

The cost is relatively low, the impact is relatively low, and the reach is large.

2) Podcast
Podcast are very similar to articles with a few exceptions. It costs me about 4 to 5 hours and no money to create one episode of the Tapping/EFT Q and A podcast between setting up the interviews, doing the interviews, creating the webpage, and editing the podcast.

The impact of the podcast is higher than that of an article. First, people hear my voice and feel like they know me more than when they read my stuff helping to build my reputation more.

Second, the podcast market is much less crowded at this point. If you search “EFT” in google my web site isn't in the first 300 search results. If you search “EFT podcast” I am on the first page of search results. If you search “EFT” in iTunes I am in the first 10 results. I will grant that many fewer people are looking for podcasts than just tapping information, but when I did my survey of readers in March almost 20 percent of respondent said they found my site because of searching in iTunes.

Third, many of the podcasts I do are interviews with other people who have mailing lists and website. Many of the people I have interviewed in the past shared a link to the podcast with their reads helping to spread my site to their readers.

Like articles, I have the benefit of having the podcast on my site for all time allowing people to find them through search engines and I can send people to podcasts when they have a specific question. (I send the link to my podcast on surrogate tapping on average of once a day.)

The cost in time is higher, the impact is higher, and the reach is smaller.

3) Free One-On-One Session
Between setting-up the session, my pre-session prep, post-session follow up, and the session itself it cost me about 1h and 45min to do one-on-one session.

There is another cost with a one-on-one session that we haven't talked about yet and that is energy. In comparison to content creation it costs me more energy to do a session with a client. There is a limit to the number of sessions that I can do in one day and I need to have certain energy level to start a session. This is just one more cost to keep in mind.

When you work with someone one-on-one you they are not only getting a chance to see how you work but they are also feeling the transformation in their own life. Almost every free session I have done (since creating my free session follow up process) has turned into a testimonial and many of these free sessions have turned into paying clients. Some have turned in to clients whom I have worked with on and off with for years.

The cost in time is high, the impact is very high, and the reach is very small.

No Hard And Fast Rules
As you can see each type of give away has it pluses and minuses based on cost and benefit. I would also recommend that you don't put all your egg in one basket. I have created a whole portfolio of free things. Some of them are things that I do regularly (articles, podcasts) while other are one-off giveaways for a very specific reason (10 one-on-one session as part of getting people to take the survey).

There is no right or wrong way to do this. And as your practice grows the math of the formula is going to change. As your website traffic grows it costs you less to create an article in compared to the impact.

If it takes me one hour to write an article and 10 people read it then I spend 6 min a person for that article, but if 60 people read it then it only cost me 1 min a person. The cost is the same but impact has improved six fold.

Also, not all strategies are right for all people. I recently interviewed a practitioner who is really good at speaking, but writing an article is like pulling teeth. It is going to cost her very little to give a free presentation, but it is going to be “painful” (her words) to write an article.

It is best to find what works for you, but to do this it is going to cost you. In the beginning it is going to cost you your time (what is often referred to as sweat equity). One of the benefits of giving something away for free is learning people don't want this particular free offering. The key is to know why you are giving something away and see if you are meeting your goals with that give away.

In part 1c we will look at how I use free information and services in my practice.

Note: Gene enjoys helping new practitioners build their practice and current practitioners grown there practice. Let Gene know if you would like to chat about how he could help your practice today. (And yes, the consultation is free)]

Pod #37: Tapping for Trauma w/ Gwyneth Moss

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Trauma is one of the words that we throw around when talking about difficult times. In this interview I talk with EFT Master Gwyneth Moss about the true nature of trauma. She very succinctly explains how we experience trauma and how to deal with it. Trauma is not about something that happens, but the after effects, and when we understand its true nature we are much more likely to be able to heal. This is one of those interviews that is worth listening to a number of times.


Gwyneth Moss

Guest: Gwyneth Moss

Contact: web @ EFThelps.com; email @ contact form; web @ Annual EFT Gathering

About Gwyneth: Gwyneth Moss is one of the original EFT Masters and the founder of the EFT Gathering annual community conference which has run since 2009. With a degree in Physics and an MBA she is known for the clarity and depth of her teaching style and for her innovative techniques which include EFT Imagineering; Protective Distancing; Projection Tapping; The Surrogate EFT Protocol and more. Gwyneth teaches EFT in the glorious countryside of Yorkshire and at Esalen, Big Sur, CA.