photo by euthman
In my work with clients I do a great deal of parts work. Parts work is nothing more than a very easy way of isolating a part of our system to find information about the issue we are working on.
One of the very easy ways of doing parts work is to have a little conversation with a part of the body. Often time this conversation is with a physical sensation. It could be a physical pain (like an aching muscle) or the physical feeling (like tightness in the stomach accompanying nervousness). Once we have tuned into this part of the body we are working on we can ask it question. To do this we simply pretend that we are able to have a conversation with part of the body.
Once I am “talking” to this part of my body/system one of the first questions I often ask is, “Why do you exist?” or “What are you worried about?” or “What are you trying to keep me safe from?” These questions can give us the underlying belief that is keeping the issues in the system. We can get answers like, “You are going to get hurt.” “People will laugh if you fail.” “You are not good enough.” “It is too hard.”
You will notice that in almost every case these types of answers are about keeping us safe. The problem is many times it is trying to keep us safe from things that are not really dangerous. This is an example of the system trying to take care of us by protection us from things that we don’t need protection from. Even though these worries are not founded, once we have uncovered them it becomes very ease for us to use this information to do Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping work.
Once we have uncovered the reason for the feeling there is a very useful question we can ask. Ask the part “What proof do you have that this is the case?” When we ask this question one of two things are going to happen. We could get a very clear answer of the proof the system has to hold this belief or we could see that the belief has no proof on why this is true. Both of these are very helpful outcomes.
When the answer to the question about proof comes back with examples it comes in two forms: examples from our life and examples from others experience. When we are reminded of similar situations in the past all we need to do is do some tapping on the past experience(s). As we clean up the past experience we will be cleaning up the issue that is at hand. When we are reminded of other experiences we can tap on how there situation is different than our own. As we clean up the beliefs of others experiences we are again cleaning up our own issues.
[Note: It is possible that when we ask this question we are going to get proof from our own life as well as proof from others experience. When this happens take each form of proof one at a time.]
There are times when we ask this question where the emotion/belief is not going to be able to provide any proof. This is still good news, but we need to take a little different approach. Anytime we have a part of ourselves that is hesitate or worried it is because there is a fear that we are going to get hurt, but in this case we are holding it without proof that this is the outcome we are going get. When this happens we need to recognize the fear is trying to keep us safe, let it know that we are safe, and let it know it can come back if there is a real danger. The tapping for this could look sound like this:
I thank this worry for being…the only reason it exists is because it is trying to keep me safe…it believes that there is possible danger out there for me…I am glad my system is trying to keep me safe by looking out for possible worries…but sometimes the system worries about dangers that aren’t really there…or dangers that aren’t as big as the system believes…that is what is happening right now…this emotion of fear and worry is just trying to keep me safe…it is just working too hard…I am glad that it is work so hard for me…but I give it permission to relax…it has done it job of warning me of a possible trouble…because I am aware of it I can deal with it if it comes up…so the system doesn’t have to warn me of it any more…the worry has done its job…I am now safe…I can move forward knowing what to look out for…if for some reason this worry feels like it need to come back to warn me again…I welcome this…because I want to know about what possible issues are at hand…but for now I have my eyes open and am safe…I am thankful that my system is worried about my safety…I continue to empower my system to look out for me…know that just like right now I am going to hear the warning of they system to make the best choices for me.
Asking the question “What proof do you have to feel this way or to belief this?” isn’t just limited to doing parts work. This is a question that can be incorporated into many tapping situations. Whenever we are facing a task or activity that we dread we can ask ourselves two question. First, ask “What is the penalty/consequence for me doing this?” You might come up with one or many penalties. For each penalty ask the questions, “What is the proof I have that this penalty/consequence is going to happing?” Based on the answers to these questions we follow the same steps as above to clear the resistance to change and to clear the issue.