Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #78: Being Addicted to Our Emotions w/ Stacey Vornbrock

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Emotions are more than just what we feel. When we experience an emotion there are many things happening at a biochemical and cellular level. In this interview with Stacey Vornbrock we talk about what happens physically when we feel emotions, how we can become addicted to them, and how to break that addiction. By recognizing the addictive nature of some emotions we can find see our way to new ways to tap.


Stacey Vornbrock

Guest: Stacey Vornbrock

Contact: web @ BreakthroughPerformance.net ; twitter @ StaceyVornbrock; email @ stacey@breakthroughperformance.net

Bio: Stacey Vornbrock, M.S. has been pioneering the use of EFT with professional and amateur athletes to release mental, emotional, physical, and mechanical blocks on the cellular level since 2003. She is recognized as a leading expert and innovator in the use of EFT with sports performance. Most notably, she has pioneered the application of EFT with injury and surgery recovery, releasing soreness, increasing range of motion, and making sports-related mechanical changes in minutes.

Tapping protocol that Stacey talked about during the interview.

5 Things You Must Know Before Doing EFT With Children and Teens

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photo by Fine Shots

Tapping with children can be a very rewarding experience. In many cases children take to tapping much faster than adults because they are more willing to try new things and aren’t hung up on why something is working. They just want to feel better.

Here are five things to keep in mind when teaching kids to tap. (Note: All five lessons below are hard won. I know them to be true because I have done the opposite of all 5 at one point.)

1) They Are Smarter Than You Think

I recently spoke to 600 middle school students about bullying. To start the presentation I talked about why bullies bully. I talked about what happens on an emotional level and how that affects our choices. At the end of the presentation the children broke up into to small groups with their adults to talk about what they can do to stop bullying in their schools. After the small group time a number of the adults walked up to me to express how surprised they were with the complexity of thoughts the kids had, the emotions they experienced, and how overall thoughtful they were.

Kids don't have the vocabulary to express their emotions and thoughts the way adults do, but they are thinking real thoughts about their lives, their emotions, and who they are. Give them space to talk about their emotions, teach them how to talk about them, and they will surprise you (in really good ways).

2) You Must Be Authentic Or They Will Tune You Out

Kids today are very savvy because of their access to information and technology. They are treated by big business as a market place and they are constantly sold to through TV and online. Because of this they have very sophisticated BS detectors and they can tell when someone is not being authentic with them.

It is very tempting to want to be cool and hip when talking with kids (especially teens), thinking you are “speaking their language”. It is just the opposite. They don't want some line or for you to talk like them. They want someone who is just being who they are, even if that means being your dorky self.

You can’t ask a child to honest with their emotions and be comfortable inside their own skin unless you are willing to try to do the same.

3) Your Job Is To Love Them; Not Be Loved By Them

When we are working with teens or children we are doing it because we want better for them. That is the goal. Nothing more. Nothing less. We are not trying to be their friend and we are not trying to gain their admiration. We have our own friends and peers for that. This doesn't mean that we act like jerks or that we don't care, forgetting to treat them with respect. Sometimes wanting the best for someone is asking them to do difficult things and things they might not enjoy.

To help them heal we need their respect, not their love and affection. It is ok to be comfortable with that notion.

4) Teach Them Tools

Children (and most people) don't care how or why tapping works. They are just looking for something that makes them feel better. When working with kids and teens give them tools. They don't need theory. They want to be better, happier, and healthier. Once they know the tool works they might ask you how it works and why.

I love coming up with little processes that are easy to follow.

For example, a great way for parents to teach kids to tap for themselves is have them tap and explain four things whilst they are tapping.

  • * What was the best part of the day?
  • * What was the worst part of the day?
  • * What are they looking forward to tomorrow?
  • * What are they worried about tomorrow?

Very simple. It is easy to remember and easy to do. Once they have the tools they can take care of themselves.

5) Start With How The Emotions Feel In The Body

As I said above, children (and many adults) don't have the skill or vocabulary to talk about their emotions as emotions. I like to have them talk about how the emotions feel in the body to help them to tune in.

They might not have the vocabulary to talk about the disappointment that comes with poor grades vs. fighting with a friend. They might call both of these emotions “mad”. But if you get them to talk about how it feels in the body they will be able to be more specific. By describing where the emotion is in the body (head, hands, stomach…) and how it feels in these places (heavy, tight, hot…) they will be much more successful with their tapping.

Go For It

You don't have to be perfect when working with teens or children. They are looking for adults who care about them and care about their well being. Show up from a place of love, treat them with respect, and be ready for lots of questions and you will be a great tapping teacher and tapping role model for them.

What have you found works well when tapping with kids? What mistakes have you made from which you have learned? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to know what you think!

Pod #77: Understanding And Tapping For Shame w/ Rhona Clews

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Shame is the most powerful, self-defeating and crippling of emotions. In this interview I talk to Rhona Clews about the power of shame, how it is created, how it is toxic in our lives, and how we can use tapping to clear it out.


Rhona Clews

Guest: Rhona Clews

Contact: Web @ RhonaClews.co.uk/; Twitter @rhonaclews; Email & Phone @ contact info

About Rhona: Rhona is a Health and Confidence Expert with a background in Clinical Psychology and over a decade of experience with EFT. Rhona is particularly passionate about helping people to integrate EFT into their daily lives, and make tapping their own. She specialists in helping people to have glowing confidence, vibrant health, abundant bank accounts and rich creative fulfillment. She lives and breathes her work and is known for the lightness and joy she bring to her clients and practice. Rhona has previously taught in the UK, USA, and Europe and works with clients worldwide via Skype.

TapAlong: Feeling Bad For Taking Care Of Ourselves

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We know that we have to be healthy in order to be helpful to other people, but sometimes it can be really hard to make time to care for ourselves. We feel like we already have so much that it is hard care for ourselves.

Today we have a great little tap along to help you be OK with tapping for ourselves. (AND if there is a part of you that felt like you shouldn't do this, then it is telling you to do it now.)

Tapping Ninja Video – 5 Steps I Take To Start An EFT Session (That only takes 45 seconds)

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One of the really nice things about tapping is that we can jump right into dealing with an issue without the need for a complicated set-up or time consuming relaxation process before we begin.

Even though we can jump right in there are a few things we can do to ensure we get the most out of our tapping time. It is helpful to be grounded in the moment, to be grounded in our physical bodies, open to healing, and aware of the healing power of our system.

Here is a quick 5 step process that does all of these things. Once you have it mastered it is the perfect way to start a tapping session.

Video Transcript

Hi everyone, this is Gene Monterastelli, the Editor of TappingQandA.com and welcome to another Tapping Ninja video. We call them Tapping Ninja because like a ninja's punch, they're super, super powerful but they're also super quick. These are things that you could add to your tapping repertoire right away that will make a huge difference.

Today what I'd like to share with you is how I start a session. Now I use this with my clients as well as tapping on my own. There are five simple parts to it and what I'm going to do is walk you through each of the five parts and explain why I do each of the steps. To begin with like most tapping all we do is we start by tapping on the side of the hand. But instead of using the set-up phrase, what we're going to do is we’re just going to take a nice deep breath and you can go ahead and do that right now.

Now when we get to tapping on a specific issue, then we're going to reintroduce the setup phrase but for now, just tap here and take a couple of deep breaths. And it just sets the tone, it starts to get you relaxed and it starts to clear some of that reversal.

Now, step number two, what we’re going to do is we're going to take both hands, we're going to tap under the eyes and as we tap under the eyes, again another nice deep breath. But this time what we're going to do is we’re just going to feel ourselves grounded in our physical body. Now it's really easy for us to be distracted from our physical body. Our minds are all over the place. And we’re not as grounded as we once were when we don't do work or we're using our body every day. And so it's really easy to be disconnected from the body. The body has so much information about the healing that we want to happen and the issues that are at hand, it's really important we find ourselves in our body. So tap under the eyes, take a nice deep breath. And just tune in to the body. You don't need to say any phrases. You don't need to do anything specific, just pay attention to the whole physical system.

Now for step number three, what we're going to do is we’re going to tap on the collarbone with both hands but instead of tapping like this what we're going to do is we're going to cross our hands, nice and simple. And by crossing our hands what we’re going to do is we’re going to clear some of the switching that happens and some of the reversals. Again, take a nice deep breath. This time what we're going to do is we're going to feel ourselves grounded in this moment. It's really easy for us to be distracted in a million places all at once. When we’re doing tapping work, it's really important we’re here and now so we can pay attention to what's happening. So again, it's really simple to do. All we're doing is we’re putting ourselves into this moment right here. To do that, cross your hands, take a nice deep breath, and just feel yourself in this moment.

Now for step four, what we're going to do is we're going to take a fist and we're going to tap nice and gentle right in the center of chest. Now, if this is painful, don't do it. And don't do anything that causes you physical pain while tapping. If this is painful, you can rub, you can just place your hand there. If you can tap, go ahead and tap. And what you're going to do is you're going to tune in to the amazing healing power of your body.

So try this out and I'll lead you through it:
I really appreciate my physical system…It does so many amazing things in subconscious and unconscious ways day and night, for my health and my wellbeing…I so appreciate the fact that I don't have to give conscious attention to many of these healing processes…I know my system isn't perfect…I know it isn't completely efficient all the time but I really appreciate the fact that it works in subconscious and unconscious ways for my health and my well-being…So I don't have to give it conscious attention so I can put my attention in other places throughout my day…Nice deep breath.

And part of what this is doing is just like setting the table by creating the rapport with our system so we can really move then and do some deep powerful work.

Step number five is really simple. What we're going to do is we're going to tap on our chin. Go ahead and do it. And as we tap on our chin, what we're going to do is we're going to set the system up to know that this is a safe time for us to heal. And again, I'm just going to lead you through it. Tap on your chin. Take a nice deep breath.

As I tap today, I'm going to find my way to physical sensations, emotions, memories, limiting beliefs…I want my system to know that as I do this work today, there's no judgment here…Whatever information comes forward, I appreciate… And even if the system doesn't understand it and I don't consciously understand the information that's coming forward, I appreciate the fact that that information is coming forward because even if I don't understand it, it will help facilitate the healing process…My time here is set aside for healing, health and well-being. I give this system permission to allow that to happen…There's no judgment here… Whatever information that needs to come forward, I'll be glad to receive it.

And so what we're doing there is we're just setting ourselves up to have a really successful session. There are lots of things where we've had in the past choices that we're not happy with. We don't like the choices we made originally or we don't like the way we responded to something or we don't like the way we remembered something. By giving ourselves permission to know that it's okay. That there's no judgment here, it's going to be easier for us to open ourselves up to find our way to those root causes.

Really that's all there is to it. Five simple steps. Start by tapping on the side of the hand. Taking a nice deep breath. Tap onto the eyes, deep breath. Grounding your physical body. Collarbone, crossed hands, deep breath, ground in this moment, center of the chest, tune in to the amazing healing power of the body. Tap on the chin. Give yourself permission to know that there's no judgment here. Whatever comes forward is useful and helpful and powerful. And it’s just that simple. Now you can dive in and do your regular tapping. Whatever it is, tap on the side of the hand, tune in to your set-up phrase and off you go.

The really cool thing about this little set-up technique is, it doesn't have to be a set-up. It can actually be all the tapping you do. Take 45 seconds or a minute to do this and what it's going to do is it just going to move you to this moment. It's going to help you to let go of the worries of the future. It's going to help you to let go of any nagging regret that you're pulling from the past. It's going to put you in this moment which will make it easier for you to make good choices and be present to those around you. That's all there is to it. Five simple steps.

This is Gene Monterastelli for Tapping Q and A. If you'd like to see more videos just like this one, all you need to do is go to TappingQandA.com/video. We've got lots of super short, super powerful instructional videos. I'll talk to you real soon. Bye-bye.

5 Surprising Reasons You Haven’t Reached Your Goals (plus 5 EFT scripts)

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Question: I have a great list of goals. I know what I want. I know why I want to achieve them. I just can’t seem to move forward. How can I use tapping to move towards my goals?

photo by l@mie

I spend a great deal of time working with clients helping them to move forward towards their goals. In most cases my clients have some sense of where they would like to take their lives and even know the steps that need to be followed.

For some reason they are stuck. They look at their to-do list which is the same list they made the day before with nothing crossed off.

I have found that there are 5 common reasons that we don't take the actions we know we will improve our lives. As you read through them you may notice that a number of them apply to you.

Even if you don't think you are experiencing one of the reasons listed take the 60 seconds it takes to tap through the script. You will be surprised at the issues you didn't know were there that are cleared.

You Don't Know What You Want

It's very simple. If you don't know where you are going then there is no way to get there. Knowing what you want is a sliding scale of understanding. For example, there is a difference between wanting a new job, wanting a new teaching job, and wanting a new teaching job where you don't have to teach summer school, that pays for graduate classes, and that doesn't suck your will to live.

It is possible to have too specific a definition of what you want that cripples you and holds you in one place, but that is unlikely. It is much more likely that because you don't have a clear vision of what you want, it is hard to move forward as you don't know what your next step should be.

Do you have a clear vision for your goal? If not try tapping with this:

I know I want better…but I am not exactly sure what that looks like…I just know it is not what I currently have…I know that if I give myself permission to dream a little…to take a step back…I can come up with a clearer vision of what I want…there might be a part of me that is worried about moving forward in this way…if I have a clear vision of what I want it is going to point out everything I don't have…it is going to point out how far I am from my goal…it feels safer to not tune into these goals…because I don't have to face the facts of where I am…but I need to have good idea of where I am going…if I want to get there…I give myself permission to dream a little…to see what I really want…it is closer than I think…I just need to start moving forward.

You Don't Know Why You Want It

I think the most powerful force in helping us to move towards our goals is understanding why we want what we want. Many times what we want is really just a tool to get us to what we really want. I might say that I want to make a million dollars this year. That is a clear goal and it is something I can tell if I have achieved it.

The problem with this type of goal is that there is very little life behind it. It is just a number with a bunch of zeros after it. It is not real and it is difficult to have the motivation to move towards this imaginary number feeling.

On the other hand, knowing why I want this goal will keep me focused. If I want a million dollars this year so that I can stop the debt collection calls, take those classes that are going to take my client sessions to the next level, be able to help my parents so they can retire, and make sure the small school I love keeps its doors open, then that is something I can wrap my heart around.

It is in the why where we find our motivation. We might have known it when we created our goal list, but have since lost touch with it.

Do you know why you want your goals? If not tap to this:

I know what I want…I have given it a great deal of thought…at one point I even knew why I wanted these things…but I have lost touch with that knowledge…I know that if I take the time to reconnect with the reason why I want these things…then I am going to find my way back to my motivation…and my mojo…it is going to make it easier for me to take the steps I need to take to get closer to my goals…it is important that I remind myself why I want what I want…this will help me in the times when it is hard to act…there are times when I am going to be able to get past hurdles…and lack of energy…to move to what I want…when I remember why I want it…[keep tapping and state the reasons you want to achieve the goals you have named…keep tapping…keep coming up with reasons.]

You Don't Really Want It

I was senior in high school. Her name was Kelly. I called her and asked her out on a date. Thankfully she said “no”.

No really…it was a good thing. We had nothing in common. I don't know what we would have talked about. I asked her out because she was the girl I was supposed to ask out based on the social politics of my high school.

There are times when we have goals not because we think they are right for us, but because there are people in our lives who think achieving them would be a good thing for us to do. It could be a certain job, marrying a certain person, or getting a certain qualification. Because we don’t want it for ourselves we are never really going to move towards it.

Do you have a goal that isn't really a goal you want? Then you can tap like this:

There is a goal that I have been working towards…but it isn’t something that I want…it is something that others want for me…they think it is something that will make me happy…or successful…but it is coming from their definition of happy and successful…it is not my definition…they want it for me because they want what is best for me…but it is not what is best for me…it is ok if I have my own definition of success…it is ok if I move towards the goals I want for me…this can be hard because I have been working towards this goal for a while…it will feel like I am giving up…because I have spent so much time and effort working in this direction…but I need to work towards achieving the goals that are right for me…not right for someone else…I give myself permission to let go of other people’s goals for me…I only have so much time…and so much energy…I need to invest that in things I really want for myself…it is ok that I name the things I really want for myself…I will work towards those things…this is my life…they love me…they want what is best for me…but I am going to work towards what I need for myself.

You Are Too Afraid To Put Forth Any Effort

Sometimes there is a clear sense of what we want, why we want it, and know it is our goal and not someone else’s. When the rubber meets the road there is resistance to moving forward because lots of things could go wrong when we try. It might be too big for us or we might not know how or we might fail or we might not have a clear idea of where we are going.

We like to know that we are going to be successful. It is human nature.

Are you afraid to put forth effort because of what might go wrong? Then tap like this:

I know what I want…I know why I want it…but there is a part of me that is worried about trying to get it…if I try I could fail…if I try I could find out that I am not good enough…if I try I could look foolish to the people around me…if I try I could let everyone know I have no idea what I am doing…these are all real fears…it is ok that I have these fears…because this is a part of me that wants me to be safe as I try to move forward…but I need to try…yes…I might fail…yes…I might look foolish…yes…it might be hard…but I need to try…I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be perfect…I am going to make mistakes…I am not going to get it right…but each step I take forward is going to move me closer to what I want…maybe it won't be a perfect step…maybe it won't even be the right step…but it is going to help me to learn what the wrong steps are so I don't take them again…I give myself permission to know that I am not going to be perfect in working to my goals…and that is ok…I am not going to do everything exactly right…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I make choices and take action…I give myself permission to move forward in an imperfect way

Others Don't Want To You To Change And You Would Rather Not Upset Them

It is hard to believe, but there are people in our lives who don’t want us to change. More precisely, there are people in our life who want us to change as long as it doesn’t require them to change as well.

We don't live in a vacuum. The changes I make in one part of my life are going to affect other parts of my life. For example, if I decided to go back to school it is going to impact the amount of time I have to spend with my family.

Also, when we take action it shines a light on the lives of our loved ones and the lack of change they are experiencing. We can cause feelings of jealousy and resentment.

On some level we are aware of these things happening. Sometimes it is very obvious when loved ones resist our change and other times it happens as passive aggressive undercurrent to our interactions. We don't like to upset our loved ones and so there is a part of us that will prevent us from taking action because we know how it is going to “hurt” others.

Are you avoiding taking action because on some level your success is going to “harm” a loved one or a relationship? Then tap on this:

I know my choices impact others…our lives are knitted together in many ways…when I add new activities to my life it means I have less time for things I have done in the past…when I move forward it is going to bring attention to the fact that others are choosing not to move forward…I don't want to make other people's lives harder…I don't want to hurt my loved ones…but I know I need to move forward…I have goals that I need to work towards…to be who I want to be…when I have success I am going to be myself more fully…which means I will be able to share myself with my loved ones in different ways…also, I don't have control over the emotional state of my loved ones…if they want to be bent out of shape because of my choices that is up to them…but I can't let their possible emotions hold me back…I need to move forward for myself…it is ok for me to make choices for myself…I need to move forward in this way…I can't let how others feel about my success hold me back…I give myself permission to move forward.

Take Action

Your goals aren’t going to happen on their own. You need to take action. Even if you just take these 5 scripts and tap on each of them every morning you will see a difference. That is right, just taking the 3 minutes it takes to tap through these will remove resistance to change. You will take one more step towards your goal.

Which really is a powerful thing.

If you are looking for a more comprehensive tool for clearing blocks to taking action, check out The 10 Steps To Getting Out Of Your Own Way To Get What You Want

Let me know your thoughts on what is holding you back from your goals and what has helped you to break those barriers down by commenting below.

Pod #76: Scientific and Psychological Research On Tapping and EFT w/ Dawson Church, Ph.D

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I don’t know about you, but I constantly find myself answering questions about EFT and tapping. It is great that we can draw from on personal experience (and the experience of those with whom we work) when sharing about tapping, but in many cases this is not enough. It is useful to have structured, peer-reviewed scientific studies to build the wall of proof that so many are looking for.

To that end I have something in two parts that will help you respond to people who are looking for scientific proof about tapping and EFT. First, I have an interview with Dawson Church, PhD about completed research studies, on-going research studies, and planned research studies. Second, I have a summary of many of the recent studies to make it easier for you to talk about them.

Part 1: Interview with Dawson Church


Brad Yates

Guest: Dawson Church, Ph.D

Contact: web @ EFTUniverse.com

Bio: Dawson Church is the author/coauthor of 8 books (including The Genie In Your Genes) and manages the web site EFTUniverse.com. He travels the world as a trainer and speaker. His passion is tapping and getting tapping into the hands of those who could benefit most from its power.

Part 2: Tapping/EFT Research Summary

A complete and regularly updated list of the latest research can be found @ http://bit.ly/EFTResearch

Support the on going research to demonstrate the efficacy of Tapping/EFT @ Soul Medicine Institute/

“While many important EFT research questions remain to be answered, a great deal of groundwork is already in place: EFT has been researched in more than 7 countries, by more than 60 investigators, whose results have been published in more than 15 different peer-reviewed journals. These include distinguished top-tier journals such as Journal of Clinical Psychology, the APA journals Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training and Review of General Psychology, and the oldest psychiatric journal in the US, the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease. EFT research includes investigators affiliated with many different institutions. In the US, these range from Harvard Medical School, to the University of California at Berkeley, to City University of New York, to Walter Reed Army Medical Center (USUHS), to Texas A&M University. Institutions in other countries whose faculty have contributed to EFT research include Lund University (Sweden), Ankara University (Turkey), Santo Tomas University (Philippines), Lister Hospital (England), Cesar Vallejo University (Peru), and Griffith University (Australia). The wide variety of institutions, peer-reviewed journals, investigators, and settings that have, in independent research, found EFT to be efficacious, are one indication of the breadth of existing research results.” EFTUnivers.com

Below are highlights of some of the outcomes of the studies:

Efficacy of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) in Reducing Public Speaking Anxiety – EFT show to greatly reduce anxiety in all areas for those who used EFT.

The Effect of a Brief EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Self-Intervention on Anxiety, Depression, Pain and Cravings in Healthcare Workers – Significant improvements were found on all distress subscales and ratings of pain, emotional distress, and cravings at posttest.

Psychological Symptom Change in Veterans After Six Sessions of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) – Symptom severity decreased significantly by 40%, anxiety decreased 46%, depression 49%, and PTSD 50%. These gains were maintained at the 90-day follow-up.

Self-administered EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in Individuals with Fibromyalgia – Pain catastrophizing measures, such as rumination, magnification and helplessness, were significantly reduced, and the activity level was significantly increased.

EFT, WHEE, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Treatment of Test Anxiety in University Students – 2 session of EFT or WHEE produced the same results as 5 session of CBT. EFT and WHEE students successfully transferred their self-treatment skills to other stressful areas of their lives.

Brief Group Intervention Using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) for Depression in College Students – The EFT group had significantly less depression than the control group at posttest, scoring in the “non-depressed” range.

Psychological and Physiological Symptoms of Psoriasis After Group EFT Treatment – Participants experienced significant improvement in functioning and psychological, emotional, and physical symptoms. Relief was often immediate and sustained, and improved over time (1 and 3 months).

TapAlong: Feeling Bad Because We Started Tapping So Late

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When we first learn to tap we feel very empowered. All of a sudden we have a great tool that we can use anytime and anywhere.

As good as this feels, that good feeling can pass. At a certain point in the healing process it is very common to feel like we have wasted lots of time. We ask ourselves, “Why didn't I do this sooner?”

It is easy to beat ourselves up over this. If you are feeling bad about not starting the healing process sooner I have a great little tap along for you.

Tapping Ninja Video – The Rake

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This is one of my favorite tools of all time. I took pieces of a number of different tools and put them into one quick little tapping routine that will only take you 20 seconds.

It is perfect to calm you in a stressful moment, help you to clear your head, or to relax you as you are heading for bed.

Video Transcript

Hi, this is Gene Monterastelli, the Editor of TappingQandA.com and welcome to another Tapping Ninja video. Today, what I'd like to share with you is one of my favorite tapping techniques but it's not the traditional tapping on a point and saying a phrase. This is a technique that I call the rake. And where it came from was I took a number of relaxation techniques that I liked and combined them. This is something that's really easy. It only takes a few seconds to do and you can use it anytime you like. My favorite place to teach it is to teach it to students that whenever they're feeling that test anxiety, they can take this and do it right before the test, and they will find their way to relaxation, peace, calm. So you can do it anytime you need a little stress relief.

All you do is you take one of your hands and you make your fingers into a little ring like this with the four fingers and the thumb. And you're going to take them and you're going to go around your belly button, you can't see it, it's out of the shot but I've just basically ringed my belly button with each of the points and what I do is I just start tapping and I I slowly work my way up until I get all the way up to the collarbone and then what I'm going to do is I'm just going to move my way back and forth across the top here, kind of like I'm raking across my chest that's why I call it that. And after you've done that three or four times, just work your way back to the middle and just work down back to the belly button.

And that's really all there is to it. When I do it, I can just feel tension release. I can feel my body calm. Sometimes I get a little bit of a shiver like that where I can feel the peace moving through the body. It's super-simple to do. You don't need to say a phrase. You don't need to be thinking about anything important, anything specific, just tap, tune in to your body and enjoy. So that's the rake. I hope you enjoy it.

As a reminder you can find lots of video instruction just like this. Super-quick little things that you can use to add to your tapping protocol by going to TappingQandA.com/videos. For Tapping Q and A, this is Gene Monterastelli, I'll talk to you real soon. Bye-bye.

Things Your Inner Child Needs To Hear You Say

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photo by Tony Trần

[Note: This is part 4 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each part of our system and tap for it. ]

We are not just who we are now, but a sum total of all that has happened. There are parts of us that are still clinging to the past as if it is still happening. Many times when working with clients we find our way to working with the younger self. Much of who we are today is informed by our younger years. BUT it is not who we are in totality and our past is not written in stone in such a way that it can never be changed.

I have found it very helpful to speak to my younger self. It is important to let it know that it is allowed to grow, change, and absorb the wisdom of my older self. This is how I tap for and with my inner child. Take a deep breath and just tune in to the younger you.

You are safe…There is no judgment here…You are allowed to share what everyou want…And you are allowed to share nothing…You are safe…There is no judgment of you here…There is only love…I want you to know you are not alone…You are safe…You are loved…You are allowed to think what you want…You are allowed to say what you want…You are allowed to feel what you need to feel…I am here for you…You are safe…There is no judgment for you here.

You are allowed to ask for what you need…It can be big…It can be small…It can be nothing at all…You are allowed to ask for what you need…

You have access to all the information and resources we have gained in our life…I have progressed so much in my life…I have gained wisdom…I have learned lessons…I want you to have access to all this information…Because you are me…You have permission to bring all that I know now to the past and what I went through…I know some of this information is going to contradict what you believe…And what you have been told…Just because important adults in your life said it is true, doesn’t mean it is true…Trust our new wisdom…We have lived it…We know its truth…

If you need anything you can ask…Anytime…I want you to know you are loved…And safe…There is no judgment of you here

I asked a number of friends and fellow practitioners what they would like to say to their inner child. Take a deep breath and tap along:

You are doing the best you know how to do. Even when you make mistakes you're not doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with you.
Jade Barbee

I see you, I honor you. I honor how hard it was for you and all the things you wanted but could not get. I am open to hearing exactly what you still need today and learning how to ask for that need to be met in my life right now. And, in this present moment, I see and honor the beautifully unique and brilliant qualities you have, but learned to keep hidden because it was not safe. I give you permission to totally shine right now with me, because I love you and I understand!
Margaret M. Lynch

You are special, you are loved
Pamela Bruner

You are safe. You are loved. You are perfect. All is well. You are not alone. I am always here.
Rev. Anne Presuel

Trust that what comes to my heart is right for me. The decisions I make can't be connected to what others might think of me.
Tammy Evevard

“You are safe and I, the grown-up, am here to take care of you.
I'm really really sorry that you went through this alone. I'm here now for you.
What you have to say is really really important to me. I'm listening.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
It's okay to be mad. It's okay to be really really really mad. It's okay to be really really really really mad.
Is it okay if I sit next to you for a bit?
Deborah Donndelinger

You are awesome, you matter, and you are worthy and deserving of the best life has to offer.
Brad Yates

“Our life was not designed to be as hard as we make it. We complicate everything with our need to feed our insatiable ego. Often times we become convinced that we must always win, be right, or be considered important in order to be happy.
Life was meant to be simple. We were created to love one another..not to separate ourselves from others. We were created to serve one another…not to be served. We were created to be grateful for the life we have..not lamenting for the things we don't have. We were created to be joyful…not to be creatures of our own fear.
Life is beautiful. I just need to get out of my own way to see it.
Quit being afraid of living a much more simple life.”
John Roedel

You are loved, you are safe, know that I am deeply interested in you, that I love listening to you and that this is only the beginning. Oh and also – that there is always time for play!
Rhona Clews

It is safe to be seen, safe to accept the challenges life offers and really, you can be powerful and kind at the same time.
Andy Bryce

What are the things your inner child needs to hear? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

TapAlong: I Can’t Believe It! I Should Have Known Better – Forgiving Myself

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More than once I have thought, “I should have known better.”

There are times when we make mistakes and poor choices where we did the best we could. In hindsight we recognize that we could have done better. There are other times when we knew better and as we were making choices we knew how it would turn out. We knew we were not making the right choices for creating our better self.

These times are particularly hard. It is easy to not forgive ourselves in these moments but we need to be able to heal and move forward. Here is a great little tap along to help with this situation.

Tapping Ninja Video – Tapping With Photos To Get To Root Issues Quickly

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The key to tapping is finding a way to emotionally tune into the issue at hand. It's a cliche, but a picture really is worth a thousand words and they can be used to connect with emotions and root causes quickly (and without words). In this short video I show you how to use photos in the healing process.

Video Transcript

Hi! This is Gene Monterastelli, the Editor of TappingQandA.com and welcome to another Tapping Ninja video. We call them Tapping Ninja because they're super powerful like a ninja strike but they’re really quick and they're really simple.

Today, what we're going to do is we’re going to talk about a technique that I was first introduced to by Marie Holliday of EFT Spain, and it’s a very simple photo technique.

As we know, when it comes to tapping the most important thing we can do while tapping is tune into the issue. Now we can say phrases to do that. We can do imagining to do that. There are lots of different ways we can do it, but we just need to find a way to tune in. They say a picture is worth a thousand words and when it comes to tapping, this is really true.

When we take a look at a picture, what we're going to do is we're going to tune into all the emotions we have about what's in the frame. And so what this can do is it can be a really powerful way to tune into an issue without struggling to find the words. All we need to do is take a photo, look at the photo and start tapping.

Now, we can do this in a number of ways. One, we can take a photo of ourselves either how we are currently or how we once were, and just look at the photo and stare at the photo and gaze at the photo and appreciate what’s in the photo and move from tapping point to tapping point.

If any emotions that we have about how we look today or how we look then or how we don’t look today like we did back then, it's going to come to the surface and as we tap from point to point we're going to find our way to relief.

Second, what we can do is we can take a photo of somebody else. Someone who there's an emotional charge around, be it anxiety, feeling of overwhelm, sadness, loss, missing, whatever it is, just stare at the photo and start tapping.

It could be a photo of someone who is a loved one at a time in our life where we had a good relationship with them and we don’t have that today. Or, it could be a time when the relationship was really tumultuous and when we see them in that time, in that space, it brings up an emotional charge.

We just hold the photo up and we move from tapping point to tapping point to tapping point. Again, we don’t have to say anything because the emotions are going to come flooding forward. It’s a really simple thing to do. All you need to do is find a picture. When you're done, put the picture down and move on.

For Tapping Q and A, this is Gene Monterastelli. I’d encourage you to check out all our free instructional videos by going to TappingQandA.com/video. And also make sure you check out the other 400 free resources we have on the site.

A Thousand Paper Cuts Would Be Better Than Tapping On These Issues – Issues To Be Tapped On Someday

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photo by Justin See

We all have them…

A list of tappable issues that we just never seem to get around to tapping for.

Some of the issues are really big and others are teeny-tiny.

At this moment I don’t care why you aren’t tapping for them; that is a conversation for
another time.

You can do some work on them without having to deal with specifics AND do it right now before any other resistance pops up.

Get a pen and piece of paper. Name the issues you don’t want to tap on.

Make a list.

Don’t think too much.

Just make the list.

Write. Write. Write.

If you are reading this you are not writing…add 3 more things to your list.

Re-read your list.

Take a deep breath.

And tap on this:

Some day I am going to tap on these things…Right now I am not ready…I might be worried about what I am going to unpack…I might be worried that I don’t have enough time right now…It might not feel right at the moment…I might not know where to start…I might not know what the root issues are…I might need to work with someone else to clear these issues…but there is a reason that I am not tapping for these issues right now…I give myself permission to know it is ok not to tap for these right now…Some day I will get to these things…When the time is right…I know that I don’t have to tune into them right now to have some of them start to resolve themselves…I give my system permission to start to work them out on its own…I give my system permission to let me know the right time to do this work…I give my system permission to work on these issues without me having to pay attention…my system knows how to heal…and it has permission to do just that…I don't need to know about this healing…It can just happen on its own…I know that tapping will help these issues some day…that might be today…it might be later…I am easy with myself in knowing I don't have to do it right now…I will get to these issues

Take a deep breath.

Feel better? Good!

What are the issues you struggle to tap on and why? What are some of the ways you get past your resistance? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Pod #75: Tapping For The Power Of Identity w/ Brad Yates

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I want you to imagine you are meeting someone for the very first time. They know nothing about you. You have to describe yourself to that person, but you can only use one word descriptions.

Which words would you use?

Father, wife, grandson, teacher, loving, hopeful…

The labels we give to ourselves can powerfully influence our behaviour. In this interview I chat with Brad Yates about the positive and negative identities we create and how we can use tapping to transform the way we see and define ourselves.


Brad Yates

Guest: Brad Yates

Contact: twitter @EFTWizard; web @ TapWithBrad.com ; facebook @ facebook.com/BradYatesTapping

About Brad: Brad has had the privilege and pleasure of working with a diverse group of clients, from CEOs to professional and NCAA athletes, from chiropractors and psychiatrists to corporate and federal attorneys, from award-winning actors to residents at a program for homeless men and women in Santa Monica. For several years he taught a weekly class using EFT and guided imagery at Sacramento Drug Court. He has also been a presenter at a number of events, including several International Energy Psychology Conferences and the Walk On Water (WOW) Fest in Los Angeles. He has presented at Jack Canfield's Breakthrough to Success event, and has done teleseminars with “The Secret” stars Bob Doyle and Dr. Joe Vitale. He is also the co-author of the bestseller “Freedom at Your Fingertips,” a featured expert in the film “Try It On Everything” (along with Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Dr. Norman Shealy and Dr. Bruce Lipton), and has been heard internationally on a number of internet radio talk shows.

TapAlong: Feeling Like You Need To Learn A Lesson Before Moving On – Forgiving Self

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At times I have found myself stuck in this thought: “I can't move on until I learn an important lesson from the past.”

It is true that we need to learn from our experiences. That is what growth and evolution is all about. Often we will keep ourselves trapped in some past event until we feel like we have learned that great lesson we needed to learn.

But there isn't always a lesson to be learned from the past. Sometimes the only thing we learn is that we don't want to be stuck in that place any more. It is ok to move on without feeling like we have to learn some significant lesson.

Here is a tap along audio to help you do just that.

Tapping Ninja Video – Creating Space For Healing w/ Tapping

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Sometimes we won't tap because we think an issue is too big. Or we feel like we can't make enough progress to make worth our while. When tapping sometimes doing just a little is enough to make a big difference.

In this short video we look at how easy it is to make space for the healing process by doing a little tapping.

Click here to read what others have to say or add your own thoughts and comments. I would really love to hear what you think!

Video Transcript

This is Gene Monterastell, the Editor of TappingQandA.com and welcome to another instructional video.

Today what I want to do is I want to talk to you a little bit about being open to change and transformation. I think one of the misconceptions we have or one of the reasons why we don’t sit down to tap is because we believe we need knockout the entire issue when we sit down. And that’s going to create some resistance because I might not feel that I have enough time to clear out the issue today. Or, it might feel like the issue is so big that there's no possible way I'm going to get through it all in one sitting therefore I'm just not going to do it because it's not going to feel like its successful. But that’s not true.

Any progress we make with tapping is important because its going to move us forward and its going to make it easier for us in the future so as we go forward, there's going to be less of impacting as every single day and its going to make it easier the next time we sit down to tap for it.

The other thing that’s important to consider is the fact that we don’t need to open ourselves to change forever. By simply opening ourselves to change for a small amount of time, it can move us forward in really profound ways.

I don’t need to be fearless forever. I just need to be fearless long enough to make that one phone call I need to make in order to move my business forward. I need to be fearless enough to confront the person at work who’s been given a really hard time. I need to be fearless enough to make one simple small action that will create a cascade of effects so we move forward.

And so when we recognize this, when enables us to do is it enables us to sit down and spend a small amount of time tapping knowing that if we clear a little bit, its good, and if we just open the door a little bit, it's going to make it so we have space to make a new choice.

So the beginning, a tapping round like that and you can tap with me. It's as simple as this. I give myself permission to know that as I tap today, I'm not going to knockout the entire issue. I give myself permission to know that as I tap today, everything might not be cleared up and that’s okay. I give myself permission as I tap today to know that I'm simply trying to clear enough resistance and enough fear to make one small step to move me closer to my goal, the outcome I want. And if I do this, I know that I'm going to be closer to my goal when I started and its going create a cascade and a domino effect of actions that are going to lead me quickly to where I want to be.

I don’t need to do it all at once. I don’t need to do it all right now. I don’t have to do it in a profound way. I simply have to be open to allow a small of healing right now which is going compound itself through my day and every single time in the future when I sit down to tap.

And it's really that simple. If you open yourself up to the fact that a little transformation is enough to make big things happen and enough tapping right now is better than no tapping right now and its going to make a huge difference in the way you move forward.

For Tapping Q and A, this Gene Monterastelli. I want to encourage you to check out all our free instructional videos at TappingQandA.com/video and also check out the hundreds of other free resources we have. Have a great day!

Things We Need To Hear From And To Say To Our Spiritual Self

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photo by Hans Splinter

[Note: This is part 4 of a 5 part series. When all five parts are published you will be able to find them at Talk To The System.

When we are learning the basics of tapping we are taught the more specific we can get the more effective the tapping is going to be. This is not only true for specific issues, but also specific parts of the system. I was inspired by the exercise I call “The Grounding Process” to look at each part of our system and tap for it. ]

Sometimes we need to talk to our spirit. Sometimes we need to listen better, more closely, and more often to our spirit. For me the struggle is just needing to be still enough to listen.

Here is how I tap when thinking of my spirit (remember to take a deep breath):

I love the fact that I am soul…I need to remember that I am not a physical being with a spiritual life…I am a soul that is having a physical experience…This is something I forget all the time…I need to find time to just sit and be connected to my soul…It is always there…It is always the still small voice of inspiration…It never leaves…It never shuts up…But it rarely shouts…It is quiet…It is still…I need to create space to just listen…Not to listen for instruction…Not to listen for inspiration…But just to be…To be still with my spirit…My soul is not in a rush…I can learn from that…I can be in this moment…Knowing it is enough…Be still…Be still…Be still

I asked some my friends and fellow practitioners what they wanted to say to their soul and what they need to hear from their spiritual self. Take another deep breath and tap:

I am a beloved child of an amazing God. I believe this to be true but sometimes at the deepest core of myself I don't trust that it is really true for me. I believe that maybe it is true for others but not for me because I'm too much of a mess and failure. Keep reminding me that I am a beloved child of God.
Tammy Evevard

Sometimes this world and our personal situations can cause us to feel hopeless, helpless and dispirited. Remember “This too shall pass”, and that life consists of constant cycles of change and growth.
Colleen Flanagan

You are not alone. You know exactly what you are here to do and you are doing it – with honor and integrity. You are always provided for, and you are always guided. Stay connected to the Divine and your way will be made clear.
Rev. Anne Presuel

You have permission to be part of my daily life…I know I forget you are there…It is not because I don't care…it is because I forget…Please remind me you are there…Please remind me that I am a beautiful creation…Please remind me that I am made for love…Please remind me that I am worthy of love…Please remind me who I am…Please remind me that I need not be in a rush…
I call upon my eternal soul to remind of the most important truth…the truth that lets all my stories about my traumas, pains, wrongs and wounds fall aside as simply “stories”. Because my soul knows that I have never been broken, never been wounded, never been unloved, abandoned or hurt. I call upon my soul, my spirit to remind me that I am whole, eternal, loved and holy.
Margaret M. Lynch

“Thank you for never giving up on me. I was one stubborn customer, yes?!”
Jondi Whitis

“Even though I don't always hear you, I trust that you are always guiding me.
Even though I don't always know my purpose, I trust that you do.
Even though I sometimes rush and don't connect with you, and take you for granted, I savor the moments when I slow down and my deep connection to Source flows easily through you.
Even though it's taken me a while to connect with you, I'm so grateful to know you.
Deborah Donndelinger

“Quit being afraid.
Quit being afraid to love yourself. Quit being afraid to let your ego die. Quit being afraid to serve other people. Quit being afraid to let other people into your heart. Quit being afraid to be, learn new things about yourself, the world, and God.
My spirit will one day make its way by to my creator. When that happens I want to melt into the divine the way I was meant to:
Unafraid. ”
John Roedel

All is possible.
Rhona Clews

What are the things your spiritual self needs to hear and what do you need to hear from you spiritual self? Click here to add your own thoughts and comments or read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!

Pod #74: Care For Those Who Care For Others w/ Ron Ball

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There are times when we find ourselves caring for someone who is going through something major, be it a physical or mental issue. We want nothing but the best for our loved one, but we can end up spreading ourselves too thin. We give everything we have to the point that we are harming ourselves.

It is important that when we are caring for others that we take the time to also care for ourselves. If we don't take care of ourselves we can't care for others. In this interview I talk to Ron Ball as he shares his personal story of what it is like providing long term care for a loved one and what he learned about taking care of himself during that time.


Ron Ball

Guest: Ron Ball

Contact Info: EFT Zone

Bio: After working for years as a vice president of marketing in the super-stress world of high technology, Ron Ball set out to find a solution to help busy executives and employees to both relieve stress overload and improve their health and well being.

In his quest, he discovered a breakthrough method called EFT. Some people call it tapping or acupuncture with your fingertips instead of needles. Emotional Freedom Techniques is an elegant, simple and powerful method anyone can learn for managing stress, worries, pain, and health issues. In fact, he recommends that people try EFT on everything.

Ron has received both the Basic EFT and Advanced EFT Certificates. He is also publisher of the well-respected blog on EFT, www.EFTzone.com. He is co-author and publisher of the EFT book, Freedom at Your Fingertips: Get Rapid Physical and Emotional Relief with the Breakthrough System of Tapping.

Ron Ball has had an eclectic career, proving you can do whatever you set your mind to. An entrepreneur, Ron is a professional speaker, author, trainer and EFT stress expert. In his work life, he’s also been a professional photographer, syndicated radio broadcast interviewer, copywriter, and business executive.

TapAlong: Feeling Like I Need To Suffer – Forgiving Self

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On more than one occasion I have thought, “I made a mistake and deserve to suffer for it.”

Culturally the belief is that when someone has done something wrong they should be punished. Even if we don't personally think this, it is such a pervasive cultural value that it’s easy to understand how it can creep into our beliefs as well.

When we do something wrong a part of us often feels that we deserve to be punished. Additionally, because we hold ourselves to such high standards, we’ll inflict a stern punishment on ourselves which we are often unwilling ever to let go.

It is OK to recognize that we don't need to suffer for our past choices. We can learn from them and move forward. Here is a tap-along audio to help you do just that.