[Note: Tapping Q and A is a very personal site written from my point of view. I do not claim to have the only answer or the best answer to any question. These are my reflections and offered as nothing more than that. Most of the articles are written as purely informational. From time to time I offer a more personal opinion on a topic. If this not your cup of tea I would encourage you to check the other great informational resources. As always I would love to hear your thoughts on the topic in the comments below.]
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One Minute or One Session Miracles With Tapping/EFT
The term one-minute/one-session miracle is loosely defined as a problem or issues that is solved in a few rounds of tapping or a very short period of time. I believe that this type of healing is possible with and with out tapping. Even within conventional western there are well-documented cases of massive instantaneous healing. I have seen breath-taking shifts within my own clients and myself.
As wonderful as these wonderful one-minute/one-session miracles are I think as a Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping community we are doing ourselves a disservice in the ways we talk about these one-minute miracles. I am not saying that there is no room for us to talk about these very real healing experiences, but I think we can get lost in our own enthusiasm and run potential tappers over. (I know I have!)
Here are three of the problems I think we have created for ourselves.
As EFT/Tappers We Can Look Like Charlatans and Hucksters
Just for a moment I want you to forget everything you know about tapping. I know that is impossible, but just for a moment look at the following statements through the eyes of a non-tapper:
- My life long fear of needles disappeared in under twenty minutes by tapping on my body.
- In three minutes I was able to release the pain of a childhood trauma that haunted me everyday.
- Everyday for two weeks I spent less than five minutes a day tapping and my six year old son’s verbal skills went from that of a twenty month old to that of a five and half year old.
In the world of infomercial and quick fixes these statements sound fishy even though everyone one of these happened to my clients. For someone who has no experience with tapping it is easy to lump these claims in with “all I did was put this thing around my waste, watch tv a I ended up with washboard abbs.”
We live in a time and place where advertising is approached scientifically. Marketers know how to create a compiling case to get the publics attention. The problem is so few of these claims are ever met that it has created an even more skeptical market place and a more skeptical public.
“If it sound too good to be true it probably is,” has become the modern consumer’s mantra. If all we talk about is these amazing results it is going to be very easy for people to dismiss us as modern snake oil salesmen.
I am not saying that we need to hide our successes or the power of the tool set, but I think when we are talking about the power of the EFT and our tapping tool set that we take time to look at our message from the point of view of someone who doesn’t have our history and first hand experience of tapping working.
We Create Unrealistic Expectations With Tapping/EFT
I have had this experience so many times that it no longer surprises me. It happens in three basic steps. First, I am working with someone who is very skeptical about tapping. Next, we have success with tapping and they get very excited. Finally, they become very frustrated because they are not able to fix every problem in their life with one round of tapping.
Most of the time we judge success not based on what we achieved, but instead what we achieved in relation to our expectations.
For example, one movie that no one knew about could do $5million in first weekend sales to be seen as a smash hit and the movie with the big star could open for $15million and be seen as huge flop. The second movie did so much better, but it didn’t meet expectations.
If all that we talk about (or all that is heard, which can be the case) is the super tapping success stories then we are going to be setting up our clients for the feeling of failure. Sure they might have just relieved 20% of their chronic back pain (that everything else has failed at providing relief for years), but they were expecting total relief therefore in their mind it was a failure.
I have found it hard enough to keep some of my client’s expectations (and sometime mine own) near reasonable. If we spend too much time talking about the one-minute miracles then we are setting the newbie up for failure.
Again, we have not failed because the tapping has failed, but because there expectations were not reached.
I have found it best to under promise and over deliver. I not saying that I am deceptive or lying, but I am making sure that I am saying things that are true and keep expectations in check. For example when I am asked if tapping will work for an issue I might say something like, “Tapping has worked for lots of issues. I have seen it work in similar cases. It doesn’t work every time because there are a number of variables involved in success. We can sure give it a try.”
We Might Be Missing The “Real” Deeper Issue
One of the things I have noticed in working with clients is that it appears that the body has a limit to the amount of healing it can do on some issues over a limited period of time. This is actually a good thing. It would be dangerous for the body to lose 60lb in one week, not matter how much we want to loose the weight.
I believe the same is true for healing emotional issues. As much as we would like to be able to clear everything up in one session there is diminishing returns as we keep working. It takes energy to heal and our systems don’t have unlimited supplies. At a certain point the body doesn’t have any more resources to continue the healing.
I also believe that some issues simply require time to heal fully. I have experienced some clients are only able to deal with a small amount of as issue in each session. The system is worried about safety and sees the issue we are working on as the only thing that is keeping them safe. In cases like this there truly is a limit to the amount that can be achieved.
Many times when we finish a session where we have only done a part of the work the work still feel finished. The client is very happy, very peaceful, and feeling much better. When we look at this through the “one-minute miracle mind set” it is very easy to assume the work is done. In this case we have only dealt with part of the issue or even just one of the symptoms of a core issues.
The client leaves the session feeling great believing they are fully healed. When parts of the issue pop back up again at a latter time they assume that the tapping has failed because it come back.
It is the difference between showing a client how to tap away a cigarette craving so they can tap when ever the craving comes back and tapping for a cigarette craving leaving them to believe they will never need another cigarette again. Sure the tapping provided the relief from the craving, but the underlying issues that is cause the craving more than likely has not been dealt with.
It is very important that we are very clear and up front with our clients in terms of the types of healing that can be expected. Even if something feels great and released in the moment it doesn’t mean that the work is complete. Again, it is an issue of managing realistic expecation.
I don’t want to be a giant wet blanket to enthusiasm about tapping. I just know that when I am presenting tapping to someone new I am not only presenting myself, but I am presenting the whole tapping community. It is important that we keep in mind how our clients and potential clients are hearing the word we are saying to insure they are able to find the help they want and need.