Now that you have some sense of how to tap on your body, the second and most important part of tapping is the tuning in or paying attention to the issue at hand. The more detail we have and the more focused we are on an issue, the more effective tapping will be.

When I say “tuning in” all I mean is giving your conscious attention to something. For example, I want you to think about your shoes and how they are touching your feet. As you read that line and gave your feet some thought you had one of two experiences. Either you are wearing shoes and/or socks and you felt them touching your feet, or you aren’t wearing anything on your feet and you noticed how free your feet feel.

Either way, before reading the line of instructions you weren’t thinking about your feet at all. When you thought of your feet you could feel whatever was on them. Socks didn’t magically appear on your feet when you thought of them, you were just tuning that piece of information out. By giving them a little attention you noticed what was always there.

We are able to tune in and out of most things. You could have a sore knee which you don’t notice during the day, but when you sit down, take a deep breath and relax, all of sudden you start to notice the aching. Your knee didn’t begin to ache when you sat down, but you tuned it out during the day and now that you are not doing anything else you tune back into the pain.

We are able to tune in and out of things besides physical sensations. When we are sitting in the middle of a busy restaurant with lots of people talking we are able tune out everyone else and focus on the person we are talking to. We can watch a sporting event or movie and completely lose connection with everything else in the world.

When we are tapping we want to give as much attention as possible to the issue at hand. The more focused we are on what is going on, the more powerful the tapping will be. To show you how easy it is to tune into something in a more specific way there are a series of statements below. I don’t want to you read them all once. Read the first statement and take a moment to do what it says. After you have given it 10 to 15 seconds move on to the next statement.

• Imagine one of the classrooms you attended in 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade
• Imagine what your teacher looked like
• Imagine what your desk looked like
• Imagine some of the kids who sat around you or were friends at the time
• Imagine what is on the walls of the classroom

As you read some of the statements you remembered lots of details while it might have been harder to get an image for others. As you moved from statement to statement the classroom became increasingly clear. After the first statement you were tuned into the classroom, but by the fifth statement you were even more focused.

Whatever you are tapping on, the more tuned into the issue you want to address, the more effective the tapping will be.

I know this sounds like a lot to begin with. This guide is written so that you don’t have to worry about any of this. All you need to do is know where the tapping points are, follow the instructions for each of the tools, and tap. If you do that, even if you don’t understand a single thing about the tapping itself, you will find relief.

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It looks weird! It feels weird!
Yes, tapping looks very weird. Yes, tapping feels very weird. There are lots of things that we do today that would have seem very strange to generations that came before us. At a certain point getting better becomes more important than how it looks or feels. In the next section I will talk about how to tap in a discrete way so that other people don’t see you doing it. In the meantime, it is OK to accept the fact that it is odd.

I don’t believe it will work!
I know. It seems unbelievable that you should be able to tap on your body in this seemingly random way and find some relief. I feel that way sometimes myself. I have done this professionally for years and there are things that I have experienced that still seem impossible.

One of the best parts about tapping is that you don’t need to believe that it will work for it to work.

If you carefully follow the steps in the guide it will make a big difference. It doesn’t matter if you believe it or not. The important thing is you have to give it an honest effort. Step into tapping with an open mind. If you give this an honest try it will make a difference.

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As an introduction to using tapping we will start by giving it a try by tapping on a physical ache or pain. We are going to do this for two reasons.

First, it will be a simple introduction to the technique, with the added benefit of showing you how to take care of physical pain with tapping. Second, physical pain can impact our emotional state. When we are in pain (like when we have a headache) we can be much crankier and much more likely to get angry. When we tap for physical aches and pains we help ourselves to make fewer emotional choices.

To do this we are going to follow three simple steps.

1) Choose a physical pain to tap for. If nothing comes to mind right away, take a deep breath and scan your body for something. For each of the following questions I want you to write down your answer as we are going to use your answers in the next step.

• Where is the pain located? Be as specific as possible when describing the location. For example don’t write “my right knee” but “on the front of my right knee on the knee cap.” The more specific the better.
• What type of pain is it? Is it dull, sharp, achy, pulsing, itchy, or hot? The more detailed the description the better.
• What is the Subject Unit of Distress lever? This is a rating from 0–10 of the pain. 0 is no pain at all and 10 is the worst pain you have ever felt. Don’t get too hung up on coming up with exactly the right number.
• What is the 3D shape of the pain? Is it flat on the surface of the skin, does it feel like a ball of pain, is it a long strip of tightness that runs the length of the muscle, or does it have a round center with tentacles of pain spreading out in all directions? Again, the more detail you can provide the better.
• Is there an epicenter to the pain and where is it located? Is the pain evenly distributed? Does it have more than one center with the rest fanning out?
• How much does the pain weigh? If you were to guess and pretend that you could hold the pain in your hand, how much would it weigh? You don’t need to know exact pounds, but does it weigh as much as a grapefruit, a steel rod, or is it as light as a feather?
• If you were to paint a picture of the pain to show to someone else what color or colors would you use? Be specific. Don’t just write red. Is it fire truck red or rust red? Is it red in the middle and fading to light blues as you get to edge of the pain? Describe the color in as much detail as possible.
• If you were to make a model of this pain what material would you use to make it? Would it be a ball of hard rubber, burning lava, metal wire, or does it feel like a mass of cotton candy?
• Image a little cartoon face on the front of the pain. If it could talk, what would it say? It might say something specific, it might scream in pain, or it might just stick its tongue out at you. Give it a voice and what would it say?
• What does the pain remind you of? Just write the first thing that comes to mind. It could be a person, a place, or a situation.
• What emotion is associated with the pain? Again, don’t give this a lot of thought, just the first thing that comes to mind.
• What memory is associated with the pain? There may not be one, but when you read that question, what is the first thing that came to mind?
• Is the pain associated with someone? Don’t think about this too much, but who comes to mind and why?
• What does the pain need? Does it need to be heard? Does it need you to do something? Just ask the pain, what does it need, and write the answer down.
• What does the pain want you to learn? It might not want you to learn anything, but ask the pain what it needs.

2) Tap for the pain.
Take all the answers you have written down and tap through them. With each new sentence move to a new tapping point. To do this start tapping on the first tapping point. Read the first question and as you read the answer concentrate on it. Once you have done this move to the second tapping point and repeat the process with the second question. When you have used up all the tapping points simply return to the first tapping point and work through them all again until you are out of questions.

3) Re-rate the pain level.
After tapping though the list above rate the pain again on a scale of 0–10. If the pain has not reduced to a level that you are happy with, tap through steps 2 and 3 again.

It is really that simple. Before you move on I would encourage you to try tapping for something physical a few more times. This is give you a little more practice and a few different experiences of what tapping is like, making it easier as we add new things to the process.

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Now that you have had a chance to try tapping on something physical we are going to try tapping on something emotional. Tapping is a great tool to use for any emotion that we are feeling.

Once again to make it easy I have created a simple step-by-step process for you to follow. As you are doing this make you have a piece of paper and write down the answer to each of the questions because we will use your answers in later steps.

1) Name The Emotion
This is very easy to do. I want you to think of an emotion that you have that you don’t enjoy. This could be anger, sadness, overwhelm, stress, or frustration.

2) Name A Specific Instance
In as much detail as you can come up with describe one specific instance of when you felt this emotion. Talk about who was there, what was said, what you were thinking, what you are thinking now as you remember it, and all the outcomes of the situation. Imagine you are sitting across from me in a coffee shop and telling me exactly what happened as if I know none of the details.

3) Rate The Emotion
As you tune back into the story how big does the emotion feel? On a scale of 0–10 rate how strong the emotion is right now. 0 would be no emotion and 10 would be that you are totally consumed by the emotion.

4) Describe The Physical Sensations
In as much detail as possible describe the physical sensation(s) that go along with the emotion. In which part (or parts) of the body do you feel it? Is it hot, tight, heavy, itchy, stiff, or some other feeling? Does your face feel flushed, does your chest feel tight, or do you feel butterflies in your stomach? Do you feel it in more than one part of the body? Describe each part separately. Is there some sort of mental dialogue going on as you feel the emotion? What is the internal voice saying? Who does the voice sound like? Who does it remind you of?

5) List 3 Things That Went Wrong
Because of the instance you describe above what are (at least) three things that went wrong and how were/are you impacted by these outcomes? Sometimes one moment can impact later events and moments. Don’t just think of what went wrong in the moment, but also how it impacted you later. Again, the more detail the better.

6) List 3 Outcomes You Would Like To Have Happened Instead
After something goes wrong there are ways we would have liked to have seen it turn out better. What are (at least) three hopes you have for the future? Is there a relationship you would like to mend? Is there something you would like someone to do? Is there a lesson you would like to learn? It is helpful to name how we would like things to turn out.

7) Re-rate The Level
After doing these steps I always like to re-rate the level of emotion. One of three outcomes are possible. First, the number could go up. This is because you have now spent time thinking about the issue in detail. Often this tunes us into the issue more sharply so that we notice it more, making it feel bigger.

Second, you may notice that the number goes down. Many times simply getting something out of your head will take the power out of it. Our minds can be relentless echo chambers, taking negative thoughts or emotions and just bouncing them around over and over again. When we drag them into the light of day they lose their intensity.

Finally, there might be no change at all. This simply means that more tapping is needed to shift the emotion.

8) Start To Tap
Go back to the top of your page and just start reading out loud what you have written. At the end of each sentence move to the next tapping point. This is not a race. There is no reason to rush. As you read the words out loud pay close attention to what you are saying. If you are describing what happened, re-live what you are saying. If you are talking about how you would like to see things turn out in the future really tune into the emotion of having the new and better outcome.

9) Take Notes While You Are Tapping
As you re-read what you have written it is possible that new details will come into focus. You might also notice new and even better possible outcomes around this issue for the future. If these things come to mind it is worthwhile taking the time to write them down. Not only will you learn things about this particular issue, but you will also learn things about yourself and the larger scope of this emotion.

10) Re-Rate One More Time
After you have read through what you have written and have tapped along, re-rate the issue to see where it is now. If you are down to a zero you are finished, if you are not (which is more likely) then you have the chance to move back to the top of page and tap again.

Hopefully you feel a little bit (or a lot) better. And yes, it feels really weird to tap on your body and have emotion release like that. Don’t worry about what just happened or why it worked. Just trust the process.

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When tapping is not producing progress, it does not necessarily mean that tapping is not working.

There are a number of reasons why you might not be seeing results. The three most common reasons are resistance to change, dehydration, and not being specific enough. When I encounter someone who is not making progress these are the steps I take.

First, we clear resistance. To do this tap on the side of the hand and use the four set up phrases:

Even though I feel [insert issue] I love and accept myself.
Even though I feel [insert issue] I forgive myself for however I contributed to this.
Even though I feel [insert issue] I forgive anyone else who contributed to this.
Even I feel [insert issue] for the rest of my life, I love and accept myself.”

We then do a full round of tapping on the issue. If progress is made we can continue working on this issue. If there is still no progress we look to the second possible reason tapping is not working.

The second most common reason for not making any progress is not having enough water in the system. This is an easy problem to solve. Drink some water.

You don’t have to drink so much that you are floating away. In most cases a small glass is more than enough. After taking a drink, wait a minute or two and then try doing another round of tapping. If you make progress you can continue to work on the issue. If you don’t make any progress you move to the third possible reason you are not making progress.

The third common hurdle is of not being specific enough about our issue when we are tapping.

Tapping is a powerful tool, but it is much more like a laser than a wrecking ball. When you are using a wrecking ball, you just need to be kind of close to knock down what you are after. With a laser, you need to be much more precise. In order to make progress with tapping we must be as precise about the issue as possible.

For example you might be tapping on feeling frustrated, which is rather general. It is not uncommon to fail to make progress when we are this general. The most effective way of getting more specific is by asking, “Why?”

Here is a conversation with a client to show how this might play out:

Client: I am very frustrated!
Gene: Why are you frustrated?
Client: Because the family business is closing.
Gene: Why does that frustrate you?
Client: Because I am worried about being able to take care of my family.

Feeling frustrated about the business closing and worrying about not being able to care for my family are very different issues. At first glance and without a lot of self-examination, it might feel like frustration. But that is not the core issue and tapping on frustration is unlikely to produce a lot of progress. When we start to tap on the worry about being able to caring for the family we are much more likely to make progress.

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One of the real benefits of using tapping is the fact that each round of tapping is so short. After each round it is easy to check in to see how we are doing and if we are working in the right direction, which helps us to know what we need to do next.

In my experience there are four typical outcomes to a round of tapping which give us information.

1) The pain/emotion reduces in intensity. This tells us we are doing the right work in the right place and so we should keep tapping in the same fashion for the same issue.

2) The pain/emotion increases in intensity. This reaction to tapping can be the most confusing. When this happens it feels like tapping has made matters worse. What has really happened is that with this round of tapping we have simply focused more clearly on the issue.

This is much like when you have a knee injury. As you move through your day you might not notice it but the moment you sit down at the end of the day all of a sudden you notice how much your knee hurts. Sitting down and relaxing didn’t make it hurt more, but because we are resting we give the knee more attention and notice the pain more.

Tuning into an issue brings it into sharper focus, which can feel like we are making the issue worse. When this happens it means we are on the right track and should keep tapping on the issue.

3) The pain/emotion changes in location, texture, or type. This is an odd sensation. When you start tapping there is a feeling in your stomach. A moment later you feel it in your throat.
This informs us that we are getting closer to the root, but haven’t yet reached it. We are getting closer, but need to keep working.

4) There is no change in intensity. This means we need to change our approach. Typically this means we don’t have enough water in the system, are resisting, or we are not being specific enough.

All four of these outcomes are good news. We are either healing, or have more information about what is the best next step to healing.

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One of the reasons I love tapping so much is because it is a powerful self-care tool. It can be done anywhere and any time. But there are times when it is best to work with a professional.

1) Working with a professional is a great way to learn. I know in my practice, one of the goals is to equip my clients so they don’t need my help in the future. In most forms of therapy the only time you can do work is when you are in a session. You make progress for an hour, and then have to wait until your next appointment before you can continue the work. All of my clients receive homework at the end of their session, so if they choose they can make progress between sessions.

When you work with a professional, tell them you are not only looking for help with the current problem, but are trying to get better at using EFT, so you can be more empowered in the future.

2) The benefit of an outside perspective. Sometimes we are so close to a problem, we can’t see what is really happening. This is the same reason we talk through our problems with our friends and family. They give us a fresh perspective. A professional is trained to help you to see things in other ways.

3) It is a really big problem. Sometimes we face issues which are just too big for us to manage alone. When we work with a professional they are able to not only guide us through the healing process but also to do it in a safe and caring way.

I can remember when I was first introduced to tapping. I was blown away. On some level I was blown away, and on another I was very skeptical.

As I got better at applying the protocol I started sharing it with anyone who would listen. Typically one of two things happened: It was either a great success or a great failure. There didn’t seem to be much in between.

As time passed I came to realize that not all problems are equal. All stiff necks are not the same. One stiff neck might be from poor posture, while another could be from years of working for an overbearing boss. One is a small problem; the other is huge.

As a beginner it is easy to get caught up in the excitement of EFT. It is important to keep in mind that every issue and problem is different, even if all the symptoms are the same.

At first you are going to be very good at small problems and struggle with larger problems.

The first step is to start to be aware of the difference between small and big problems. This is just going to take time and experience. As this becomes more apparent you will then be more skilled at dealing with the big problems.

I would encourage you to read as much as you can about EFT as you can.

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