We took about an hour to reflect on our experience in East Africa with the Peaceful Heart Network. We give a short trip recap PLUS we shared what surprised us, what inspired us, and what we learned.
Make sure you join us this year July 14th and 15th for this years 24 Hours of Tapping. Sign up for updates at 24HoursOfTapping.com
Today we spent time in Bidi Bidi Refugee Settlement, which at one point was the largest refugee camp in the world. As of 2018, it became the second largest behind the Kutupalong refugee camp in Bangladesh.
There are over 250,000 people living in Bidi Bidi who have fled the ongoing civil war in South Sudan. That is half the population of the entire state of Wyoming, where I grew up.
Bidi Bidi is in the northernmost part of Uganda, where the climate is hot and dry; it was over 95 degrees while we were there. Before the arrival of the refugees, there was just open land and a few small villages.
Our guide for our visit was Pastor John Obonyo. Pastor John is an amazing man who has given his life to serving the people in the refugee camp. In addition to his pastoral work, he has run over 40 tapping trainings, in which he has trained more than 6000 people in TTT, so far.
Who embraces tapping
One of the most fascinating details I learned from Pastor John was how excited the local Christian pastors of various different denominations were about learning to tap and sharing it with their congregations.
The reason they were so excited about tapping has to do with something that is both spiritual and cultural. In the part of the world where Pastor John is working, there is a deep-seated fear of demonic possession. AND people fear that contact with someone possessed can pass on the evil to others. This means that people who are believed to be possessed are ostracized from society.
Pastor John shared that in many cases, people were actually struggling with PTSD or other symptoms of severe stress or trauma. When family members come to him with a possessed loved one, he first taps with them. If the tapping works, no further intervention is usually needed. If it doesn’t, he then reaches for his spiritual tools to provide help.
I find it so fascinating how much context impacts the way in which something like tapping is embraced. In the United States, in broad, general terms, one of the places that tapping is least accepted is in Christian communities because of the perception that energy work could be spiritually dangerous. And at the exact same time, the pastors of North Uganda see tapping as a vital tool to help them best serve their spiritual communities.
Presentations and reports
Once again, the local community shared with us personal stories of the power of tapping in their lives. I can’t even imagine the struggles of the lives of the refugees, and I continue to be astounded not just by the magnitude of the suffering, but also the overcoming of that suffering.
They also shared songs and dances they had created about tapping.
Accepting and giving dignity
One of the conversations we had with the leaders of the community was about the outside aid refugees received from the UNHCR, the United Nations refugee agency, and other NGOs. As time has passed, the amount of support has diminished. Everyone in the camps receives rations of corn, beans, and oil every month, but the size of those rations has decreased.
At the end of the presentation, Pastor John and the other community leaders insisted that we join them for lunch. It is a precarious position to hear people talking about their struggle to feed themselves and their families, which is then followed by an insistence that we join them to share a meal from their very limited rations.
In these situations the best thing to do is to say “yes” with a smile. By accepting their gift of lunch, we hoped that we also extended the dignity of allowing them to take care of us. It was a simple and tasty meal of rice, potatoes, chicken, and stewed greens.
We found it humbling to be served in such a way.
Odds and Ends
My buddy
This sweet smile belongs to Emanuel, who clung to my side while we were waiting for lunch.
3 minutes, not 15 minutes
Our local organizers expressed the regret that we could only be with them for three hours of presentations and sharing, because of the five hours of travel ahead of us after our visit.
They wanted us to hear all the stories of transformation. They wanted us to know about all the healing. They wanted us to appreciate how far they had come.
In an effort to keep everyone on track, there was a lot of reminding speakers how much time they had. At one point, the MC said “And we are now going to hear testimonies that are only 15 minutes long each.”
Before the testimony could begin, our friend Placide, who has led many of the trainings in the region, grabbed the microphone and said, “The testimonies won’t be 15 minutes, but can be 3 minutes instead. All you need to do is share what you were struggling with and how you are doing now!”
As someone who has spent more than three decades attending retreats where people share their personal stories of healing and overcoming, I appreciated the firm hand they had on the wheel, as it is easy for short stories to turn into not-so-short stories.
Making ends meet
One of the things Pastor John does to support his family is raise ducks, which he then sells. He has a solar-powered incubator in his office for the eggs,which is a simple, but ingenious, set-up. A small shed, a solar panel, and a little time was all Pastor John needed to support his family and his work. When asked why ducks instead of chickens, he told us that ducks are preferable because they are more resilient to disease than chickens.
Tear Tally
By this point in the trip, any time I think about the people, the work, the struggle, the overcoming, my travel companions, or a cold bottle of water, I am brought to tears. We have moved beyond adding tears to the tally…the #teartally = all the time!
Apologies for the delay in providing updates, which is down to a couple of reasons.
First, we have spent a lot of time traveling in the last four days; we have done over 20 hours by road and taken a flight from Rwanda to Uganda.
Second, we haven’t worked directly with any communities for the last few days as we spent a full day touring around the Murchison Falls National Park.
We have just arrived in Mayo, in the north of Uganda near the border with South Sudan, where we will see tapping in action tomorrow in the refugee camps.
So, today’s update is going to be all odds and ends.
My breaking point
I reached my breaking point on Saturday.
I was tired and overwhelmed. I didn’t have the mental or emotional capacity to have another conversation about failed governments, uncaring people, complex trauma, or even the amazing way in which people have managed to overcome suffering in the face of enormous difficulties.
On one level I can be gracious with myself in knowing that this is emotionally and physically hard. I am ten time zones off my normal schedule, we are constantly on the move, I haven’t been making the best eating choices, and there is new stimulus and information to digest around every corner.
At the same time, I was reminded of a comment I heard someone make around racism in the United States.
Person A said, “It is just so exhausting to have to think and talk about racism all the time.” To which Person B replied, “Now imagine how exhausting it is to live with it every moment of every day.”
It is emotionally exhausting to think about everything that is going on in the communities we are serving AND that is nothing in comparison to the daily reality of their lives.
My physical and emotional frailty (because I am human and not made of steel) is a reminder that not only do I need to keep working to make change, I also need to be someone who is sharing these stories with others, so that they too can contribute to making positive change in the world.
Fortunately, after a night's rest, a hot shower (our first of the trip), and a few restorative hours of downtime in the car listening to podcasts, I'm back in fine fettle.
Messing with podcast producers
One thing podcast creators often obsess about is their download stats. I have always been fascinated by where in the world people are listening to my podcast. When we have access to wifi, I have been downloading my normal collections of podcasts about sports and culture. It tickles me to imagine podcast producers poring over their stats from last week and seeing their first-ever downloads from Rwanda and Uganda!
Lions and tigers and bears oh my
Really it was lions and hippos and giraffes and elephants and warthogs and water buffalo and antelope oh my. We were lucky enough to spend a full day touring Murchison Falls National Part.
On arrival we were warned to stay out of the pool after dark and to stick to well-lit paths to avoid running into a hippo. It was amazing to think it was more dangerous to walk home from dinner in the park than it was to work in a prison.
Henry, a park ranger, was hired to spend the day with us and to share all sorts of fascinating facts about the park and the animals.
To see the animals coming out to drink at dawn, we left our accommodation at 6 AM and didn’t get back until early evening.
Families of elephants and giraffes were everywhere, which were so magical and majestic. We also spent about 45 minutes watching a pride of five lions as they enjoyed the spoils of their morning hunt. There were two adults, two juveniles, and one younger juvenile, who went from eating to wrestling with his siblings.
There were more species of antelope than I can remember, ranging in size from something like an elk, to fully grown at just twenty inches tall. The little ones were ridiculously cute, but we decided that US customs would not appreciate us bringing home a mini antelope, and I am guessing they wouldn't love a New York winter either.
Birds were a whole other fabulous category of delight, from small ones of the brightest electric blue you can imagine, to pairs of giant hornbills that looked like dodos.
In the afternoon we took a river cruise up the White Nile to Murchison Falls. On the way we passed pods of hippos and elephants drinking from the riverbank as we floated up to the foot of the falls.
I think this would be a good time to mention once again that nothing on this trip was paid for by the money we raised during the 24 Hours of Tapping. All our expenses are being covered by us, so rest assured that your money did not fund us seeing elephants and giraffes in Africa.
Here are a few photos and videos from the day.
At breakfast this morning my sister and I were reflecting on the trip. She said, “I’m glad we got to spend time in the park, but I am not going to remember the animals. I am going to remember the people from our trip.”
It really was a lovely break and set us up for the next segment of our trip.
Driving to Moyo
As we were leaving our national park lodge, the person helping Laney with bags asked where we were heading next. When she told him that we were on our way to Moyo he was completely confused as he could not imagine a Mzungu (term for foreigner or white foreigner) going there. That's because the only non-refugees and non-Ugandans in that part of the country are international aid workers.
Our journey to Moyo took a full day. We crossed the White Nile in a ferry, but it was mainly by car and included more than three hours on rough dirt roads where we made slow progress.
As we were bouncing up and down, avoiding rocks and potholes, our driver Pascal turned to me and said with the warmest smile “That is a Ugandan back massage”.
We are staying at a small boarding house run by the Catholic church, which is funded by a parish in Spain. When the aid effort started for the refugees in this part of the country, there were no hotels or rooms available to rent so it has served a great need.
It is clean, quiet, and calm.
I am off to rest as we have a full day ahead tomorrow with over 400 people showing up for a tapping training.
Today we spent the bulk of the day at Musanze Prison.
The prison houses both men and women, in separate sections. The area that we had access to was the main courtyard, which has a volleyball net in the middle, a large covered area for gatherings, open access to the kitchen (where all meals for all 5000 inmates are made), and is lined with a number of sleeping quarters.
I haven't been in a lot of jails, but I have been in more than most. The vibe of the courtyard was different from any prison I have ever visited. Not that it was great, it was a prison after all, but I was struck by the sense of calm. The interaction between the correction officers and inmates was kind. There was very little noise, rushing or hostility.
Returning
One of the people accompanying us was our friend from Day 4, Callixte. As you may recall, Callixte was wrongfully imprisoned for five years. As we walked in, he froze for a few seconds and just looked around. He wasn't scared and the warmth never left his face, but he was having a moment as he returned to the place where he served his sentence.
Formality part 1 and the director
Every event we have done so far has included a bit of formality. This has typically been a welcome address from someone in charge, a prayer, and a chance for us to introduce ourselves formally to the group.
This happened twice in the prison.
First, we were escorted to the director's office. He was a tall, upright man dressed in a crisp military suit and seated behind an imposing desk. He introduced himself and his staff, and we introduced ourselves. Again, in a slightly more formal manner than I am used to.
As formal and impressive as the director was, there was a sense of calm and groundedness in the room. He moved with grace and seemed larger than he actually was, but not in any sort of intimidating way.
Whenever one of the correctional officers approached the director, they saluted, but did so with a large smile. It was clear that they both liked and respected him.
Formality part 2 and the inmates
After spending 15 minutes with the director he escorted us over to the outdoor pavilion where 101 inmates awaited us.
We were seated on the stage, with 61 male inmates on our left and 40 female inmates on our right.
We were not allowed to take photos in the facility, but they provided this one (and we hope there will be others to follow):
The formalities continued.
We were first greeted by one of the inmates, who thanked everyone for coming by name.
Our friend Placide (I will tell you a lot more about him later) translated for us. Placide has been traveling with us throughout our trip and was the primary facilitator for the original tapping classes. Musanza is his hometown and he visits the prison at least once a month.
The inmates were gracious and welcoming as each of us was introduced, but when Placide was introduced, the inmates went crazy. Their love and respect for him was clear; they just adored him.
With each introduction there was applause and the inmates made a sound of approval that made me think of the wind blowing through a reed and somehow forming a musical note.
Next, one of the inmates, who was a pastor, led the group in an opening prayer, which was followed by a song of welcome and dancing. The inmates were all dressed in orange. The four dancers, two male and two female, draped traditional cloth over their prison garb as they danced.
The report
One of the female inmates then reported on how the tapping training had been going in the facility. Here's what she told us:
She then reported that the goal of each one of the trainees was to create small groups with other inmates and to have each of the trainees share tapping with at least 10 other inmates.
AND she was very happy to report tapping had been taught to more than 1000 inmates.
Song of healing
One of the inmates was then invited to share his healing journey, for which he had written a song.
He held a small block of wood that had a number of strips of metal attached to it of different lengths. Pushing down and releasing the metal strip produced a musical note, in the same way as a music box strikes a note.
His song was about his pain and suffering, learning to tap, and healing. #teartally
Here is the song, captured as best as I could using the voice memo app on my phone.
Sketches
Next, the inmates performed two sketches that they had written, both about how to identify someone in distress and how to teach them tapping.
They had worked very hard on them and were really proud of their work.
It was SO SO awesome!
Song of tapping
The group then sang a song they had written that included the tapping. Because singing and dancing is an important part of many Central and East African cultures, it is a natural fit.
While all this was going on, the small children were dancing and tapping along and at one point I noticed one kid correcting another's tapping technique.
The kids
Yes, you read that correctly. There were children there too.
Mothers who are incarcerated are allowed to keep their children with them up until the age of three. There was a special wing in the women's area for inmates with children, which also housed a nursery where some of the inmates teach.
Like the other places we have visited in Rwanda, the kids were allowed to be kids. They wandered around the group, climbed in and out of different inmates' arms, and the correctional officers always greeted them with waves and smiles.
They were noisy, like kids, but not disruptive.
This is the moment when I simply run out of words (#teartally). On one level it was amazing to see how the kids were being cared for and loved by everyone in the facility. And at the same time, I was thinking about that moment when they turn three and are sent away to another part of the family, leaving their mothers and everything and everyone they'd known in life up until that point.
One of the reasons I did work in the prison system in the US was because I felt that if we could help the incarcerated with their anger, then they were much less likely to end up back in prison, which meant I was also helping kids to get their parents back.
When someone is incarcerated, those that suffer in their absence are often overlooked. It is an act of trauma that is inflicted on children, because of no fault of their own, and the system creates a cycle of trauma that can ripple through generations.
And this is when I run out of words. I have no clue what to do about any of this, other than healing systems, healing communities, and healing family members, which I believe is what we must be committed to doing.
Each individual who can experience deep healing is an opportunity to halt the domino effect of generational trauma.
All the emotions
The formal presentation ended. The director once again thanked us for all the support of his facility and then we headed for the gate.
I didn't realize the human heart and head were able to express so many emotions at the same time.
I was flooded with gratitude…hope…anger…shame…helplessness…encouragement…love…kindness…sadness, and an overwhelming wave of other emotions that I can't adequately describe.
Sometimes it aches so deeply to be human.
Sometimes you just want to not feel anything.
Sometimes you need to feel everything all at once.
Sometimes these feelings become the fire for the action to be taken next.
Odds and ends
You might want to take a deep breath before reading the next bit, as it is a bit of a change of pace.
Wyoming shirt
While walking back to the hotel I passed a child of about eight who was wearing a t-shirt with the Wyoming (my home state) flag on it. It happened so quickly I didn't have a chance to grab a photo.
Serving in the DRC
After our time in the prison we gathered for a late lunch. We were joined by Germando Kagomba Barathi (pictured below). We figured out that Germando speaks at least 11 languages, seven of which are Congolese. He is a medical nurse and has served in some of the scariest places in the world (most often local areas controlled by warlords).
I feel bad turning Germando into an odd or end as his story, life, and work deserve a full post. He arrived in Musanze from the Congo and he was on his way to attend an interview for work with Doctors Without Borders (he got the job!). He is a great asset to the organization as he is a nurse, speaks so many languages, completely unflappable, and full of energy and positivity.
Over lunch he shared stories with us about teaching children how to tap, many of whom had been taken from their families by local militias. He talked about the power of NOT having them share their stories, but instead just tapping because retelling a story would re-traumatize them.
In the face of so much struggle, there is so much hope.
Explaining the American Medical System
Over lunch my sister tried to explain the US healthcare system to two Rwandans.
They simply could not believe their ears – to the extent that their eyes were popping and their jaws went slack in astonishment.
At one point I think Pius thought that my sister Laney was joking. She was not.
I am here
One of the things we have become accustomed to is the Rwandan approach to start times and meeting times.
Let's call it a relaxed approach.
Imagine you are meeting someone, you have arrived, and they have not. You call them to ask where they are, so you can have a sense of when they might arrive, and they will reply “I am here.” When they say that, they are saying “I am where I am” which is often followed by “be patient”.
Luckily everyone in our group is able to roll with that. It means more time to sit and enjoy a nice cup of coffee while looking up at the volcanoes.
Tear Tally
The tear tally is now up to 11, but two of those were during the writing of this post.
See all of the updates from our trip here.
Yesterday, following our visit to the Dian Fossey center we settled in the town of Musanze in northwest of Rwanda.
After an early breakfast we made our way to the Bigogwe Sector, Kijote Cell to spend the day with Callixte Rudakenga.
Here are a couple of (not brilliant) photos I took on the drive:
My words feel inadequate in describing this man and his journey, but here is my best shot.
Callixte was wrongfully imprisoned for five years. Eventually he was released, but while he was in jail he found a Peaceful Heart Network flyer from a workshop they had previously offered to inmates. He was inspired to reach out to the PHN via WhatsApp and shortly afterwards started his course of study.
Later that day, as we were driving to see the lake on the border with DRC, we drove past the prison where Callixte had spent five years. He happily shared what it was like to be in the facility, without a sense of anger or bitterness.
The reason we were spending the day with Callixte was because he was running a Trainers of Trainers course where he had been teaching TTT (the version of tapping taught by the PHN) and we were lucky enough to be able to participate in the final day.
The class was filled with healthcare and Red Cross workers.
I wasn’t able to capture it all, but this is how we were greeted by the class:
This welcome has set a high bar for how I hope to be greeted every time I enter a room in future!
We participated in some of the class teaching TTT and did some practice rounds with the students.
We then heard a number of testimonies about tapping from the students, as many of them had participated in prior classes.
Here are just a few of the things the students said:
The rain
One of the women who gave her testimony talked about how before she learned tapping it sounded like it was raining, even when it wasn’t. It was a comment that needed some context for us to understand fully.
I grew up in the high, dry desert and I have always loved the rain.
In the 1990s I remember going to a reading by a poet from Cape Verde, an island nation off the coast of West Africa. Even though it's in the middle of the ocean, it doesn’t rain much there and in the local language, the word for rain and the word for hope are the same (my memory says the word is chuba, but I could be wrong). Because it rains so infrequently there, when it does, it brings new life and hope at the same time.
For those who lived through the Rwandan genocide, the opposite is true. It rained a lot during the 100 days in 1994 when the genocide took place, so many Tutsi people associate rain with trauma, pain, and death.
The woman sharing the story about hearing the rain, even when it wasn't raining, was really talking about the terror she associated with the rain that fell constantly during the genocide.
After learning tapping, not only did she stop hearing the rain when it wasn’t raining, but she was no longer terrorized by the rain or her past.
Their stories
For me, the most heartening part of the day was that when the participants talked about their experience with tapping, they first talked about how it had helped them and their families AND also in their work.
I love the fact that tapping isn’t just a tool that is helping them to serve their community and patients better, but something that allows them and their families to heal too.
How it all came together
So there we were. Sitting in a church in the northwest of Rwanda tapping, laughing, singing, and dancing.
The day happened because:
I didn’t know it until the middle of the day, but this particular training happened as a direct result of the contributions from the 24 Hours of Tapping fundraiser we ran back in July 2022.
If you donated even a few dollars, I want you to go back and reread the (abridged) bullet list above listing just a few of the benefits of knowing how to tap. Because of your contribution, the lives of 33 health care professionals and their families are better, their patients' lives are better, and the good ripples out even further than that.
One of the participants talked about how he had taught his children to tap, and his children had in turn taught all of their friends.
Another woman told the story of being left for dead in the genocide. Learning to tap has meant that she no longer experiences nightmares every night, and she is also sharing tapping with others.
You are a part of that amazing transformation!
Poems
In addition to testimonies, we have also heard poems. A woman who shared a poem about her healing asked Ulf and Gunilla to stand next to her as she read the poem. When she got to the line about gratitude for each of them, she paused and hugged them.
She didn’t just want them to know how much learning to tap meant to her, but she wanted them to feel it in the form of hugs. (Yes, this did add to my tear tally.)
And then we celebrated
After the sharing of reflections and testimonies, we celebrated.
All the participants received their certificates and PHN t-shirts. We took photos, and the participants also took photos, all wanting a record of themselves holding their certificates next to their friends.
Here is a group photo.
And then we ate!
Odds and ends
Didn’t register, but were welcome
At the training there were also a number of young children who were so much fun to have around. They weren't quiet, because they are small children, but they weren't a distraction either. Over the course of the day they were passed from person to person, with everyone being helpful and happy to see them.
Here is my sister making friends with the cutest little pumpkin.
I don’t always tap
In addition to the tapping training, I pulled out a few tricks, which was also fun.
Dinner by phone light
On Wednesday night there was a blackout while we were having dinner. It's not something that happens all the time, but is also not unexpected. It was absolutely pitch black and still, so we improvised with a water bottle and cell phone light to create candlelight.
Tear Tally
On Day 4, the tear tally is up to six, but all of my tears today were those of huge gratitude.
See all of the updates from our trip here.
We had a nice slow start to the day, which was much appreciated as we are still jet lagged and yesterday was jam-packed with experiences and emotions.
Good News Rwanda
After a nice breakfast at the hotel we walked to a local coffee shop that is a Kenyan chain called Java Love where we met Pius Nyakayiro for coffee.
Pius works for the organization Good News Rwanda. To be in his presence is to be in the presence of sunshine!
The organization provides amazing aid in a number of cities in Rwanda. They run education programs, they work with single mothers, and they help to get homeless children off the streets.
One of their big initiatives is to provide prison inmates with mattresses. Like many parts of the world, inmates in Rwanda are responsible for providing many of the daily necessities, including (but not limited to) their own mattress.
In the last five years Good News Rwanda has provided 4500 mattresses, primarily for incarcerated pregnant women and the elderly. Without the mattresses inmates would have to sleep on the floor.
Good News Rwanda worked with a garment factory to get custom cloth made with poems, scripture quotes, and affirmations so that the mattress covers would be made with fabric covered with encouraging words.
Pius said that they hired many survivors of the genocide to make the mattress covers. He said it was powerful work that helped to lead to forgiveness and healing, as the survivors of the genocide (who lost family members) were making mattress covers for some of the perpetrators of the genocide.
That story stopped me in my tracks and I had to ask Pius to pause for a moment, just so I could let it sink in.
We will be joining Pius on Friday to meet 100 inmates who have been through PHN's Training the Trainer tapping program. The people now teach tapping to the other inmates.
The mountains
Rwanda is called the land of 1,000 hills, though my guess is that there are at least 99,000 more! Apart from motion sickness, we had a stunning two-hour drive to the north of Rwanda, where the country borders DR Congo and Uganda.
The photos I took from our moving van do not do it justice.
Gorillas in the Mist
We spent about two hours at The Ellen DeGeneres Campus of the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund. It is a research and educational center situated in the shadow of five volcanoes and a short distance from where Dian conducted most of her research and conservation efforts.
More than 400 college students live on the campus and help with research and conservation efforts while they work on their college degrees. Today, 98% of the research and conservation staff are Rwandan. We had the chance to chat with the staff and meet one of the young researchers, whose work is on golden monkeys.
The center just opened last February. It was a wonderful experience.
One of the clever things they have you do as part of the exhibit is a short quiz that matches your personality with one of the seven most famous gorillas from the project.
Gorillas don't have fingerprints, but they do have very distinct noses. The center had commissioned art of the seven nose prints of the seven most famous gorillas.
After taking the quiz, you were then tempted to buy some art work with the nose print of your gorilla match.
Looking at it through the eyes of a marketer, it is a brilliant way to connect visitors with the research on a personal level to encourage you to engage and donate.
I was matched with Titus.
Even though I didn't buy any Titus merch, I did buy a hand carved gorilla to join my menagerie of animal figurines collected on my travels around the world.
Odds and Ends
Akarusho
Akarusho is a banana based beer, which is a local favorite. Imagine what fermented bananas would taste like and that's akarusho for you. I am glad I tried it but I'm not sure I would go back for more. It tastes much worse coming up than it does going down, which was thanks to the motion sickness brought on by the endlessly winding mountain roads, rather than the beer itself.
Work with existing networks
At dinner a few nights ago Gunilla and Ulf were talking about the lessons they have learned from running the Peaceful Heart Network and its various projects around the world.
One of the greatest lessons they have learned is:
Partner with people and organizations that are already serving the population that you want to serve. Don't reinvent the wheel. Don't try to do the things you are not good at. Instead, focus on what you are expert at and join forces with those who are expert at what you are not good at.
It made me think of the Harry S Truman quote, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” So often I work outside my expertise because I want it to be “my thing”. It is a good reminder that the outcome is way more important than the credit.
Orphan families
We have been lucky enough to meet a number of people who have been helped by TTT (the version of tapping taught by the Peaceful Heart Network). Many of them were part of Orphan Families. Orphan Families were houses of people in their late teens and early 20s who were orphaned by the genocide. They were gathered together in households of other orphans so that they could have families.
I keep finding myself caught between the horror of these types of problems (a country full of traumatized orphans) and the creativity being used to try to solve those problems.
Unexpected generational trauma
One of the types of trauma we have been talking about during our trip is the trauma that is experienced by young children of modern Rwanda who ask questions like, “Why don’t I have a grandma?” In these moments children are exposed to the horrors of their country’s past, which can be traumatizing.
In one of these conversations, we talked about the trauma experienced by the teens and young adults who find out about how their grandparents and great grandparents participated in the genocide. It is a trauma that just seems too much for a young person to bear. With each passing experience I am more and more impressed with the work of the PHN and its commitment to healing the human population.
Tear Tally
I decided it would be worthwhile to record the number of times I have cried on the trip. It's three times so far, and I feel sure there are more tears to shed.
See all of the updates from our trip here.
It was our first full day in Rwanda. The theme of the day was “what we are capable of” by which I mean what we humans are capable of, for good and for evil. Today's post contrasts how humans are capable of unspeakable harm toward others, and also of overwhelming love and goodness.
I am going to share this in two parts. Part 1 is about our visit to the Kigali Genocide Memorial and Part 2 is about our visit to the Kingdom Gate School. You will also find other odds and ends from the day at the bottom.
In Part 1, I will be talking about the realities of genocide. If that is not something that feels emotionally safe for you to read about, you can skip to Part 2. AND please don't think “I need to be tough enough to read about it.” That is not the case at all. Take care of yourself and what you choose to consume.
Part 1 – Kigali Genocide Memorial
There are certain parts of the human experience that are difficult to wrap your mind around. Genocide is one of those subjects.
In 1994, two million Rwandans were murdered by their fellow countrymen. At the time, Rwanda had a population of only seven million people.
Genocide is not something that just happens. It is systematically orchestrated, with the seeds of hate fermented.
This was done to the Tutsi people through the media, organized religion, government structures, and the influence of outside governments. The same tactics that were used in Germany by the Nazis were used to demonize the Tutsi. They used supposed genetic characteristics to other the Tutsi people. They used the word “inyenzi”, which means cockroach, to describe the Tutsi people.
Axes and machetes were provided so that neighbors could be unleashed on neighbors.
A visit to the Kigali Genocide Memorial is a stunning experience.
It is the burial site of over 250,000 Tutsi who were killed. As new mass graves are uncovered around the country, those remains are transported to the memorial so they have a more formal place of remembrance.
In addition to the burial site, there is an amazing museum. Not only does it share the history and social and political climate that created the conditions that allowed the genocide in Rwanda to happen, they also shared history of five other genocides that have happened in the last 100 years. They do this in the hope that all who walk through the doors will not see what happened in Rwanda as unique or isolated, and hopefully we will all be vigilant.
It was heavy. It was overwhelming. It was incomprehensible.
Then there was the moment I broke.
The last room is dedicated to the children who were murdered in the genocide.
There were hundreds of photos of the children who were murdered. For a number of them there were larger photos with some information about the child that included age, best friend, and favorite food. That was hard enough to read, but the last line was devastating. It listed how they were killed.
I will spare you the horrific details, but that was the moment I broke.
It makes me ask, “How are we capable of this?”
I use the pronoun “we” intentionally. As a human family, we are responsible for this. Obviously, there are some who are more responsible than others, but at the same time, if we turn away, we are part of the problem.
I am reminded of the quote below from Martin Niemöller. He shared many different versions through years, but the most famous version is:
First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me.
UBUMUNTU and the Rwandan People
This is the logo for the merchandise that is used to support the Kigali Genocide Memorial.
The brand is called UBUMUNTU.
Ubumuntu means humanity and refers to the quality of being humane; greatness of heart, benevolence, generosity and kindness. In the context of the genocide against the Tutsi, Ubumuntu refers to those who selflessly risked their lives to save others.
The Ubumuntu logo is a single heart formed by two people embracing, connected to the world. Inspired by Rwanda's traditional geometric design, it is a concept, a brand, and also a message that people carry with them.
In the midst of this indescribable horror and pain, I am most humbled to be among the Rwandan people.
To this day, their suffering is real and on the surface AND there is a lot of striving to overcome suffering, a lot of working on healing, and a lot of trying to create something great out of the wreckage.
And that brings us to the other side of the coin: what humans are capable of in the face of atrocities.
Part 2 – Kingdom Gate School
The Kingdom Gate School was created by David (photo below) who wanted to create a school for children without access to the education they deserve. It is especially geared toward children from impoverished circumstances and those without traditional family support structures.
David is an unstoppable flow of love, energy, and smiles, who would put the Energizer Bunny to shame.
The school itself currently caters for students from ages three to five. The school began in just three rooms. One was the classroom, one was the activity room, and one was where they ate. Since then, they have added one more grade every year, so many of the 5th graders have been with the school since its inception.
David started the school for a number of reasons. First and foremost he wanted to take care of the children. Second, he said “When you get the children, you get the whole family.” Meaning it was a great way to teach and help everyone, not just the kids.
When David wanted to introduce tapping to the community, he started with a group of single mothers. One of those mothers then testified (David's word) to the faculty of the school about how amazing tapping had been for her, and that created a domino effect.
Now tapping happens daily at the school. We were even able to be part of the ceremony where a number of teachers received their certificates for completing the tapping training.
In addition to teaching the younger children, they have created a vocational program for older teens to learn vocational skills like welding, tailoring, and carpentry. As David put it, “To help a person heal you must walk with them.” The vocational school means the teachers work side-by-side with the students, hearing about them and their lives, which provides a platform for more connection and healing.
One of the major results David reported was that not only was the faculty and staff happier and healthier because of their tapping, but they also collaborated better and came up with more creative ideas to solve problems at the school.
When asked if the school was going to keep growing by adding more grade levels all the way through high school, David said no, but shared that one of his visions is that when his students go on to attend high school, they will have a positive impact on their fellow students.
After touring the school and visiting all the classrooms, we were treated to presentations from the faculty and students. They told stories about how tapping has impacted their lives and then some of the students performed traditional and modern dances for us.
One of the teachers shared a poem called “Going to my happy place” in which he talked about how when he is overwhelmed by stress, he retreats to his happy place, which is tapping for relief. My First Action, Best Action members will recognize this idea of doing something first to change how you feel before you act.
The last thing we did before departing the school was to award certificates to the faculty and staff who had completed the TTT training. One of the things I am most impressed with is how the Peaceful Heart Network isn't coming in to “fix” situations or people. Instead, their aim is to teach local leaders what might be useful and then encourage them to implement it in the way that best serves their local community.
They were so happy and proud to receive this recognition and couldn’t be happier at how much better their own lives were, not just the lives of the students, because they now know tapping.
Other odds and ends
Hugs and handshakes
Something I've loved while being in Rwanda is when you meet someone, you first give them a hug and then you shake their hand. It is an interesting twist on the formalities of greeting that feels good to me.
First, take off shoes and listen
When David was sharing about his motivation for creating the school, he observed that so many of the churches came in and just preached at the people, telling them what to do and how to live. Instead, he wanted to meet the people where they are, before offering anything. Gunilla and Ulf talk about “first, we take off our shoes and listen” before taking any kind of action.
“What was pushing at your heart when you did that?”
David was talking about how he was working with a student who was acting up and had harmed another student. When processing with the student, he asked “What was pushing at your heart when you did that?”
That is such an amazing way to ask the question of trying to understand why we are behaving in a certain way. When something is pushing on our heart it is hard for us to live and act in an authentic and heartfelt way. It is a question you might want to ask yourself the next time you make a choice of which you are less than proud.
See all of the updates from our trip here.
At the moment I'm not exactly sure which way is up because of the way my mind and senses have been assaulted in the last few days.
On Saturday evening we left my apartment in NYC. It was 31 degrees (that's just below zero for my readers using Celsius), a light snow was falling and we weren't wearing jackets because we were on our way to just south of the equator.
Over the next 37 hours we had two red-eye flights, over 12 hours in layovers, visited the airports of Accra in Ghana, Nairobi in Kenya, and finally arrived in Kigali, the capital of Rwanda.
Along the way we met many kind and helpful people, ate some delicious Ghanaian jollof rice, and accidently tried to enter Ghana without a visa (it is helpful if you read all the signs at immigration and customs).
Once clearing customs in Rwanda we were greeted with big hugs from our friends and hosts from the Peaceful Heart Network – Gunilla and Ulf.
After settling into the hotel, we went over the plan for the next 11 days and then met a few locals for dinner, who were so charming and warm. I will tell you more about them in the next few days, once I know them a bit better and can do their stories and lives justice. They have lived quite some lives.
Two quotes from dinner:
1) When you cheers with drink glasses, the Rwandans will often say “Kubuzima bwacu” which means “to our life” in a Swahili dialect.
2) One of our local guides was telling us the story of his life and healing, which was a breathtaking story of suffering and overcoming struggle. At the end of it he said (with a smile as wide as his face because he is on the other side of healing), “I was professionally traumatized”!
After dinner I climbed into a bed for the first time in almost three days…such sweet rest!
Tomorrow we are off to a school for 6 to 12-year-olds to see how tapping has been introduced as part of their schooling.
A number of people have asked about our journey and what we will be up to while in Rwanda and Uganda. Here is the tentative plan. Make sure you keep checking back here for stories, updates, and photos along the way.
Jan 16th – Arriving in Kigali Rwanda at 1.30 pm. Stay at Auberge Beausejour. Resting time. Meeting, planning and dinner with Peaceful Heart Network special trainer in East Africa Placide Nkubito.
Jan 17th – Visit Kingdom Gate School where pupils and teachers have learnt Tapping. Lunch at Ubumwe Hotel rooftop. Visit Kigali Genocide Memorial Center. Evening with Logistics manager Eulade Mutimura and Lawyer Kabalisa Fulgence, both survivors of the1994 Genocide and very good friends of ours.
Jan 18th – Meet Psychologist Ndabaramiye Olivier, Pius Nyakayiro director of Good News Rwanda, our partner in the latest prison project and others from Rwanda Correctional Service. Travel to Musanze (3 hours).
Jan 19th – Take part in a workshop with trainers Callixte Rudakenga and Alphonsine. Visit the new Dian Fossey Research center below the Virunga volcanoes.
Jan 20th – Visit Musanze prison. One of the prisons where we have done most workshops. Visit Gisenyi/Rubavu and lake Kivu at the border to DR Congo.
Jan 21st – Back to Kigali. Meeting time is open. Flight to Entebbe Uganda
Jan 22nd – Meet Suicide Zero who have learnt Tapping from PHN. Travel to Murchison National Park by minibus. Approx 6 hours journey
Jan 23rd – Murchison National Park with guide.
Jan 24th – Transport to Moyo. Meet Pastor John Obonyo and his South Sudanese refugee community
Jan 25th – Take part in a workshop with Pastor John and others.
Jan 26th – Travel to Kampala Uganda.
Jan 27th – Evaluation. Conclusion. Departing at 9 pm from Entebbe
Here is something that will make you laugh. It is one of my favorite videos about healing and transformation.
Here are a few of my reflections on what you can learn from this silliness and something you can do right away in response.
I would like to introduce you to someone. Look at this cute little pumpkin!
That's me when I was little. (I'm the one on the left.)
I know! It’s hard to believe. No surprise that one of my nicknames growing up was “Whitey” because my hair was so blond it was almost white.
For the last two weeks I have been spending lots of time with this little guy.
AND what I mean by that is I've been focusing my morning tapping sessions on working with myself at this young age.
I have been:
But mostly I have just been showering him with love!
In every one of these sessions I have cried at some point.
It all starts somewhere
The reason I have been spending so much time with my younger self is because of the way the human brain works.
The reason hypnosis works is because when you are being hypnotized, your brain changes states. It goes from beta waves (awake) to alpha waves (relaxed) to theta waves (deep hypnosis). In the theta state we can create deep change and transformation as we are able to rewrite what is in the subconscious mind. We are able to learn and change quickly.
Before the age of seven we spend almost all of our time in either the alpha or theta brain wave state.
It makes sense that our brain is in hyper learning mode at the ages we are doing the most learning.
The lessons that were never intended to be lessons
Because we are so open to learning at this point in our lives, we take everything we learn as true.
On one hand, it is great that we can learn so quickly at this time in our lives.
On the other hand, we can see how quickly this can go wrong.
For example:
And the list goes on.
Even when we are surrounded by well-meaning, loving adults it is possible to learn the “wrong” lessons when we are very young and don't understand the world.
At this particular stage in our lives, the lessons we learn are treated by our brains as truths, rather than beliefs that can be questioned.
The subconscious gets its way
Because the mind works this way it can cause frustration and pain.
It puts us in a situation where our conscious mind can see the world through the eyes of a thoughtful adult, while the subconscious mind sees the world through the lessons we learned when we were young.
AND (and this is a big and) the subconscious mind always wins.
Have you noticed how seldom New Year's resolutions work? That's because they are an act of the conscious mind trying to change the beliefs of the subconscious mind.
I've been spending a lot of time with the little guy above because I am trying to uncover and understand all the lessons he learned that no longer serve me.
Wanting to change is not enough
If we truly want to change our lives, we need to do more than a little tapping here and there. We also need to change the beliefs we have about ourselves and the world.
I created the ID Transformation Retreat with exactly that in mind. I want you to be able to participate in an experience where you can uncover and unpack the beliefs that are keeping you stuck and holding you back from living a life you love.
This event will be different from most of the events I run. Usually my emphasis is on teaching tools and techniques that you can use later when tapping on your own or with clients.
At the ID Transformation Retreat we will be doing HEAPS of tapping!
Because this isn't about learning, it is about healing.
Don't get me wrong, you will still learn a lot, but that is not the main aim of the event.
Here's how the ID Transformation Retreat will work:
Before the event you will receive a series of short videos from me. Each video will teach you a tapping tool you can use to do deep work on your own. Sharing these ahead of the event means I won't have to spend as much time teaching during the retreat. It will take you less than an hour to watch all the videos AND doing so ahead of the event is not a prerequisite. Instead, they are designed to set the table for those who are interested in the hows and whys of the tools we'll be using together at the retreat.
During the retreat we'll unpack known and unknown limiting beliefs and we will transform and heal them. I will be tapping with volunteers one-on-one, we are going to do loads of group tapping, and there will be a chance to learn from the insights and transformation of others.
After the event I am going to hold a bonus session where you can ask any questions that arise after the event, and we'll do more tapping.
You have seven days to listen to the replays so that if you can't join us live, you can still participate AND even if you are there live, you can tap to the sessions again and again.
All the details
Here are the details:
Notice that the bonus session is at 8 PM on Friday night. I planned this especially for those who live in Asia, Australia, and New Zealand who don't want to stay up all night to tap with me on Friday 23rd. Everyone is welcome to join the bonus session, but I wanted to make sure I did something special for those on the other side of the world.
The ID Transformation Retreat only costs $247.
That's less than the cost of working with me for an hour AND you will get a full day of transformation for that price.
You can sign up here: http://idtransformationretreat.com/
Limited Space
I want this to be as personal of an experience as possible, so I am limiting registration to just 100 people. Once 100 people have registered, registration will close.
Don't miss out: http://idtransformationretreat.com/
If you have any questions, reply to this note and I get right back to you.
I really hope you can join us. It is going to be an amazing day of healing and transformation.
Gene
Over the last few months I have been doing a lot of work on restructuring my business and reorganizing all of my content. This is a consequence of all the ways in which Tapping Q & A has changed and how I have evolved personally.
To make it easier for everyone to find the types of content that they are looking for I have created two new podcasts in addition to the Tapping Q & A Podcast.
Tapping Q & A Podcast: The Tapping Q & A Podcast will continue to focus on tapping. Its main focus will be on slightly more advanced and provocative tapping concepts. There will be a lot less tapping 101 content and much more on mastering the art of delivering tapping in a more effective way.
First Action, Best Action: One of the types of work I enjoy the most is helping people to eliminate self-sabotage so that they can take the most valuable actions over and over again and achieve their goals.
In doing this work I have come to realize that taking the best actions isn't just about organizing your to-do list well or having the right systems in place. It is also about changing the resource state that you are in when taking these actions. What I mean by “resource state” is whatever is impacting the resources we have at any given moment. This can include energy, focus, emotions we are feeling, and physical pain. If the first action we take is about changing our resource state, then all of the action we take after that will be better.
Thus the title First Action Best Action. Make your first action about changing your resource state for the better, which will allow you to take your best actions for the rest of the day.
The show is published four times a week. Most episodes are less than ten minutes long and will teach you one thing to help you get your day started on the right foot.
You can hear the full origin story of the podcast in episode 1.
You can subscribe to the show here: Apple Podcast | Spotify | Google Podcast | Amazon Music | Audible | RSS
Our Lady of Podcast: The second new podcast has nothing to do with tapping, productivity, or being more efficient in your day. Instead it is a personal spiritual reflection.
In each of the show's episodes I explore one of the titles of the Virgin Mary, such as Our Lady of Confidence, Cause of Joy, Mirror of Justice. Every episode is made up of three parts. First, I explore the virtue of the title and what it means. Second, I explore how I need this virtue in my life. Third, I reflect on how I am called to live that virtue out in my daily life.
This is a very personal podcast. To be honest, I am totally OK if no one but my mom listens to the show because it has been a vehicle for such valuable personal growth for me. Each episode takes around 20 hours of my time to produce, as I grapple with the content and try to wrap my mind around what I feel about it.
The first season is 10 episodes long, published approximately every two weeks.
I have written a book called “Prayer” to go along with the show. You can download a free copy here: https://ourladyofpodcast.com/ambassador/
Subscribe to the show in: Spotify | Google Podcasts | Apple Podcasts
Please let me know if you have any questions about any of the podcasts.
Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Android | Google Podcast | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio
Last summer I was on a second or third date. As we were (illegally) drinking wine in the park, my date said to me, “We have to talk about your confidence. I want to know all about it.”
I raised an eyebrow of concern.
She quickly said, “No, no, don't get me wrong. I'm not calling you conceited. You just have this ease and confidence about you that is appealing and it's something I am a bit jealous of.”
To be honest, I was a little taken aback.
In my professional life I am quite clear that I am confident in most situations. Even if I'm not 100% certain of what is going on, or if I will be successful, I do know who I am professionally (for good and bad) and I'm comfortable with that.
As for my personal life, that wasn't always the case. I found my way to tapping over 15 years ago when I was looking for a way to manage my acute social anxiety. At that time I couldn't answer my phone or ask for help in a store.
I was anything but confident.
AND now, fifteen years later, here I was being complimented for my confidence in a social situation.
Personally, I wouldn't call it confidence. Instead I describe it as being comfortable in my own skin. For me, that means knowing what I am good at and what I'm not. I know what I enjoy and what I like to avoid. I have a sense of what other people think about me, and I have a clear understanding of whose opinion matters to me.
Having this sort of understanding about yourself allows you to move through the world with more ease. It is not that I am confident, but I am comfortable. Feeling comfortable makes it so much easier to show up as my authentic and imperfect self.
At this point in my life, that's how I feel most of the time. Not just professionally as I did in the past, but in all settings.
The combination of self-acceptance and self-knowledge is another way of expressing being comfortable in our own skin. Being able to know and accept myself as I am is the most important skill, trait, or attribute that I have. (I'm not sure what is the right word there.)
Self-acceptance just makes life easier.
In this month's Art of Delivery Monthly class we are going to cover self-acceptance and being comfortable in our own skin.
You will learn:
Just like every other month there will be teaching, a demonstration of the tools I am teaching, your chance to try them out in a small group, and answers to every question you have (even the ones that are about tapping, but off topic).
This month's classes are scheduled for:
You can attend either or both classes AND you receive a recording of both classes regardless which one you show up to. Some people can't make the live classes and just watch the replays.
The class only costs $37 (they generally run about two hours) OR you can save $10. For only $27/month you can attend as many classes as you like, and you can cancel any time.
Often people ask “Is it OK if I sign up for this month, pay $27, and then cancel to avoid rebilling?” The answer is yes, you are more than welcome to do that if you like.
You can find full details on the program and sign up here: ArtOfDeliveryMonthly.com
Let me If you have any questions,
Gene
Back in November and December I conducted interviews with 17 transformational masters that ultimately turned into the Tapping Success Academy.
Something interesting happened over the course of those interviews…
Each one was just between me and my guest. None of the guests knew what the other guests would be talking about or even who else was involved.
Nevertheless, something magical happened!
It was almost as if everyone I interviewed was attuned to what was said in the other interviews. Somehow the topics and ideas from one interview meshed gracefully with the next, like perfect little puzzle pieces working together.
Of course this didn't happen because of magic or by random coincidence. The reason the conversations fit together so neatly is because there are known fundamentals of healing and transformation that can be combined in a repeatable process.
Knowing the fundamentals allows us to use them over and over again to get more out of our tapping (and any other transformational tools we use).
After listening to close to 20 hours of interviews I was able to distill the list down to ten fundamentals about healing and transformation.
I would love to share these fundamentals with you so that you can get more out of your tapping each and every time you tap.
That's why I am offering a free zoom masterclass in which I will share:
I am offering this free Zoom masterclass twice. You can attend on either Tuesday, March 16th at 8 PM Eastern US time or Sunday, March 21st at 12 noon Eastern US time.
(You can even attend both events if you like, but you will have to sign up for both sessions.)
The masterclass is free OR you can choose to support an amazing cause.
The masterclass itself is free BUT if you make a $7 contribution when you sign up, you will get access to the recording of the class afterwards and all of the money will go towards supporting small business owners around the world through Kiva.
When you reach the sign-up page there is a default $7 charge. If you are not in a position to make a donation and would like to attend free of charge, just update the 7 to a 0 and complete your registration.
You can sign up for either (or both) sessions here: https://lu.ma/genedavid
If you have any questions about the event, all you need to do is hit reply to this note.
I hope to see you there,
Gene
PS: A special note if you live outside North America. On March 14th North America will switch to daylight savings time, while it doesn't happen in most of the rest of the world until March 28th. This means the time zones might be slightly off what you are used to.
You can find your local time for Tuesday, March 16th here: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html?iso=20210317T000000&p1=4826
And for Sunday, March 21st here: https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html?iso=20210321T160000&p1=4826
“It happened on a night like this twelve years ago…” is the perfect way to start a ghost story.
The story I want to tell isn't a ghost story and it sounds way less exciting to say “It started on a random Tuesday afternoon while sitting at my kitchen table…” BUT that really is how it started. On a random Tuesday morning (March 3rd, 2009 to be exact) I launched the very first episode of the Tapping Q & A Podcast.
To be honest I had no idea where it was going to go. I had 10 interviews already done, I was going to share them, and then…who knows?!
Twelve years later there are over 500 episodes available in the podcast archive, which amounts to 217 hours and 16 minutes of audio.
Anniversaries like this give you the opportunity to take stock. As I have reflected over the last week I've been overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so thankful for:
Without question my life is so much better because I created the podcast.
Help me to celebrate!
Author and creative David Rees once said that “Help is only help when it is offered in the manner for which it is asked.” As a piece of life advice I think it is wonderful. In this case there are four actions you can take to help me to celebrate this anniversary.
1) Listen to a past episode – The beautiful part of a podcast about tapping is that the content is evergreen, meaning you can go back to any of the older episodes and still find value in them. You can find the entire back archive at http://TappingPodcast.com.
Pick an episode with one of the guests you love, an episode on a topic that you need to hear right now, OR just pick a random number between 1 – 501 and listen to that episode. I know there is something in those 200+ hours of audio that will be exactly right for you today.
2) Teach a friend how to listen to a podcast – At the moment less than half the population of the English speaking world (I don't know the stats beyond that) have never listened to a podcast. There are over 400,000 active podcasts and another million podcasts with past episodes available, even if they aren't currently producing new episodes.
By teaching someone about the world of podcasting you are connecting them to something that will make their day and life better.
3) Share the Tapping Q & A Podcast with a loved one or two – I end almost every episode of the show saying “Please be our ambassador and share the show with one or two loved ones. Don't spam your inbox, but if you know one or two people who would find this useful, pass it along. Even if they don't listen, the fact that you told them you are thinking of them will brighten their day.”
I believe every word of that and it goes double today. (If they don't know how to listen to a podcast see request #2.)
4) Consider supporting the podcast – I continue to be amazed by the fact that people contribute financially to the show even though they can access it free of charge. Because of these contributions I have been able to upgrade the sound quality of the show and dedicate more time to the podcast to continue to make it as good as I possibly can.
Those who support the show receive thank you gifts, as well as some unannounced bonuses. ALSO, 10% of all the support goes to Kiva in the form of loans to small business owners all over the world.
There are two ways you can support the show:
Let's celebrate victories big and small
For the occasion of the 12th anniversary this week's podcast is a tap-along to help us to celebrate victories, both big and small. It is important you take time to celebrate victories of all sizes because it helps to create momentum and to be generally happier.
You can find the tap-along audio and script here: http://tappingqanda.com/501
Whether you've been with me for years or if you just started listening this week… Thank you!
Please let me know how I can continue to be helpful in your tapping journey.
Blessings,
Gene
One of my favorite things to do is to introduce someone to tapping when they are experiencing emotional distress.
The first (and most obvious) reason I love it is because they feel so much better right away.
The second reason I love it is the feeling of wonderment they feel after they realize what has happened. They are in the bliss of the moment, but at the same time are trying to process how something as silly as tapping on their body creates that type of relief.
Most of the time when we are tapping we are doing it to create relief and reduction. We are trying to relieve physical pain, quiet negative self-talk, reduce negative emotions, and remove resistance to taking action.
These are all amazing outcomes from tapping, but we can achieve even more!
One of my favorite questions to ask clients when we are tapping for an issue is "What would you like to have instead?"
This often catches my clients off guard because they are only thinking about finding relief from their discomfort, rather than what comes next.
AND if they do have a clear answer to what they would like instead, they don't know how to cultivate the feeling, resource state, or disposition.
During the December Art of Delivery Monthly I am going to teach a technique that installs new feelings and resource states.
With this technique you will be able to:
The great part about this process is that once you know how to do it, it only takes five minutes a day to cultivate these new feelings, beliefs, and resource states.
AND I am going to teach participants a way to anchor the feeling so that you can access it at a moment's notice any time you need it.
The technique is one of my favorites and I have never taught it in any of my trainings, podcasts, or videos.
This will be the first training of the new Art of Delivery Monthly series.
Each of these trainings will follow the same 5-part structure:
Each training will run for approximately 90 minutes on the following dates:
You can attend either or both sessions. Recordings will be available for both sessions so that you can listen again afterwards as many times as you'd like.
You can sign up for this amazing training for only $27!
The question to ask yourself is: "Is it worth $27 to be able to build the feelings of peace, calm, confidence, and self-esteem?"
I am going to be running a new training like this every month in 2021. As part of the launch of the new monthly program you can sign up for the December training plus all the training in 2021 for only $270. That means you are getting 13 months of training for the price of 10.
You can sign up for just the December training OR sign up for December PLUS all of 2021 by going here: https://tappingqanda.com/aod-monthly
I was actually a little shocked that I have never taught this technique before because it is one of my favorites. I can't wait for you to learn it and start using it to cultivate positive experiences, resources, and feelings.
If you have any questions, all you need to do is reply to this email.
I can't wait for you to join me for this training.
Gene
PS: Imagine what it will be like to be able to tap not only to remove an emotion, but to install something better: Join us: https://tappingqanda.com/aod-monthly
One of my favorite parts of the Mastering the Art of Delivery training that I ran back in August and September was the session that I ran after dinner on the first day. It was entitled “Ask Me Anything” (also known as an AMA).
The participants were given a chance to ask me anything. They could ask me about the content we covered. They could ask me about how I use tapping on issues they were struggling with. They could ask me about how I run my business. They could even ask me about how I manage my life day to day.
They could (and did) literally ask me about anything.
Then after the training, I ran three Q & A sessions for all the students. This was a chance for them to ask questions after they had the chance to try the techniques in their day to day life. In essence these also turned in the AMA.
The reasons I love these sorts of sessions so much are:
After doing these sessions a number of the students said they would love to continue to have access to me in the exact same way.
To that end I have created “Art of Delivery Monthly” so that you can have the same experience.
Here is how the sessions are going to be structured…
Every month the sessions will be structured in five parts.
First, I am going to start the sessions by teaching you a way that you can get more out of your tapping practice. Some sessions will be topic based (like resistance) other times it will be technique based (like how to apply NLP meta models to tapping).
Second, you will get the opportunity to try the technique out with the other’s in the group, so you can get a first hand experience of the concepts and tools.
Third, you will be given the opportunity to ask any question you have about the monthly teaching.
Fourth, you will have the opportunity to ask me anything about anything. It might be something that has come up recently in your tapping, questions about how I run and manage my business, or anything at all.
Finally, we will end each session with a Tapping Jam. A Tapping Jam is an opportunity for you to bring up any topic you like and we will tap for it.
Doesn’t that sound amazing?
Here are some of the details of how the process is going to work…
I am going to run the sessions twice each month on Zoom. There will be a session Tuesday evening at 8pm eastern and Sunday afternoon at 12 noon eastern. Most months these will happen the second full week of the month.
The content at the beginning of the sessions will be the same for both the Tuesday and Sunday sessions. Obviously the questions, the AMA, and the Tapping Jam will be different based on who in the group on that day.
You can attend either or both sessions each month.
You will receive an mp3 downloads of both sessions. This means that you can show up to one of the sessions, participate, ask your questions, and still learn from the questions and tapping requests from the other session.
This is your opportunity to deepen your knowledge about tapping and receive some first hand attention every month.
ALSO, if you are unable to make either session in a given month, you can submit your question ahead of time and I will answer it during the sessions. Meaning you will get your questions answered no matter what!
There are two ways in which you can sign up.
First, you can pay monthly. You will be charged $27/month and can cancel any time, no questions asked. Even after you cancel you will have access to the downloads of all the sessions that you had paid for.
Second, as part of the launch of the program I am offering a one time offer where you can pay for the full year for only $270. AND because the first one is going to happen in December you will get access to December 2020 and all 12 sessions in 2021.
That is a 30% savings, meaning that you are going to get access to 13 months for the price of 10!
Once we start doing the session the one time offer is going to go away.
I regularly have clients and practitioners pay $150 to have 30 minutes with me to ask me these types of questions. For only $27 you will have access to me for 90 minutes to ask whatever you want! AND you will get to do this every month!
You can sign up for the program here: https://tappingqanda.com/aod-monthly
If you have any questions about the program all you can drop me a note.
I hope you join us every month as you improve your tapping skills,
Gene
PS: Imagine what it is going to be like to get your most pressing questions about tapping answered in person every month as well as learn a new tool or technique every month. Sign up now: https://tappingqanda.com/aod-monthly
I want to give you a chance to work with me, get some amazing bonuses, AND make a difference in the world.
Here are the details…
As you probably know, 10% of the support each month from the Tapping Q & A Podcast goes towards micro loans through Kiva. If you are unfamiliar with Kiva, they are an organization making small business loans to people all over the world who are unable to secure regular financing from regular banks.
I have been making these loans for over a decade and it is one of my favorite ways to support others. The beautiful part of Kiva is that once the loans are repaid, I then have the chance to loan the money out again and again.
To that end I want to make an even bigger contribution to small business owners heading as we head into 2021.
In order to do that I am raffling off three one-on-one 1-hour sessions to work with me. (Three different winners will win one hour with me.)
Each entry only costs $10. All the money raised from the raffle will go into my Kiva account and will be loaned out again and again.
In addition to having a chance to win a session with me, every person who enters the raffle will receive three tap-along audios (and tapping scripts). These are brand new tap-alongs for starting the day, a midday energy burst, and a good night's sleep.
So, for just $10 you receive:
It is a no brainer!
AND if you buy four tickets, you get a free extra entry in the drawing.
You can purchase tickets here: https://tappingqanda.com/raffle
Please let me know if you have any questions about the raffle or Kiva by hitting reply to this note.
Blessings,
Gene
One of the sessions in my recent Mastering the Art of Delivery training was about the lessons I've learned from other teachers and healing masters.
I started the presentation off with this video, which is how NOT to work with a client, but it always makes me laugh.
Trigger warning: In this email I share the story of a very intense client session that references self-harm.
Good morning,
I hope you have had the chance to listen to the podcast that was released on Wednesday. It is an amazing conversation with Mark Wolynn, who happens to be one of my favorite guests.
The podcast explores the difference between attachment trauma and generational trauma.
To start the conversation Mark shared the story of a client he worked with a few years ago. His client “Sarah” was struggling with some deep-seated emotional issues that manifested in physically cutting herself, but unlike most cutters she would cut very deeply near a major vein.
This landed Sarah in the emergency room a number of times and then in an inpatient facility, which is where Mark started working with her. The outline of Sarah's treatment was:
AND Sarah never cut herself again.
There are two takeaways for me from this.
First, gaining a better understanding of attachment trauma and general trauma has made me a better practitioner.
Second, it is amazing to hear a skilled practitioner talk about their process. Mark is very honest in the interview about the moments in which he was trying the first thing that instinctively came to mind and when he was using a specific tool. He moves seamlessly from asking good questions, to parts work, to family systems work, to generational healing.
When I use the term “art of delivery” this is exactly what I am talking about, because being able to tap in that way doesn't happen by accident.
Mastering the art of delivery is the ability to understand how the healing process works, where the client is emotionally in the moment, having multiple tools at your disposal for uncovering information around the issues, and then being able to tap in the most effective way.
That is why I created the Mastering the Art of Delivery training.
Even if you never find yourself in a situation where you are working with someone in such acute distress as Sarah, the better you are at the art of delivery, the better results you will see when tapping with clients or on your own.
I am offering this training four times over the next few weeks. Each weekend has a different start time to accommodate people in different parts of the world, so that everyone can take the class in daylight hours:
You don't have to go to the weekend that is geared for your part of the world, just choose whichever one works best for you.
You can find full details on the training here: http://MasteringTheArtOfDelivery.com
Use the discount code “art” for 50% off.
As of the writing of this note there are only 4 seats left in the first weekend.
This is your opportunity to move from having tapping work for you to using tapping in a way that takes less effort, is quicker, and creates longer lasting results.
Sign up use the discount code “art” for 50% off: http://MasteringTheArtOfDelivery.com
If you have any questions about the training, please let me know.
Gene
PS: If you would like to take the class, but need to pay for it with a payment plan, please let me know. We can work out something that works for you.