Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

75 Hours Of Free Training And Insight From The Brightest Minds In EFT (No Signup Required)

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With the publication of last week’s podcast there is are over 75 hours of free EFT training and insight from some of the brightest minds in the change work field. You can find the full podcast archive at TappingQandAPodcast.com.

Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora

To make it easier to find some of the best stuff I have created this handy list of some of the best of the best.

Please add your favorites in the comment section below.

Steve Wells shared what I think is the simplest and most elegant approach to tapping
in EFT For Self-Acceptance.

The tool I recommend most for clients to use when tapping on there own is The Grounding Process.

The tool I recommend most for clients to use when they tap for loved ones is
Talk About, Talk To, And Talk As If

I love what all my guests have to share. If that weren’t the case they wouldn’t be on the podcast. With that being said the guest I have learned the most from is Gwenn Bonnell.

The EFT For Improving Performance interview rocked the way I see the healing process and led me to write There Is No Such Thing As An Emotional Action.

I love it when readers and listeners share their insights about the podcasts. What Does Forgiveness Really Mean? has been the most commented upon episode.

From time to time I get interviewed. Here is the favorite interview I did:
Why I Hate The Word Manifest

Finally, I have two lists of the most downloaded podcasts. Because I changed the way I track downloads in March of 2011 I have a list of top 5 downloads post- and pre-March 2011.

Most downloaded post March 2011:

  1. The Power of The Gamut Point w/ Karin Davidson
  2. Tapping For Shame w/ Rhona Clews
  3. EFT For Money, Success, And Personal Power w/ Margaret Lynch
  4. Quiet The Inner Critic w/ Judy Byrne
  5. EFT For Feeling Overwhelmed w/ Carol Look

Most downloaded pre-March 2011:

  1. The Power of Identity w/ Brad Yates
  2. The Why Is More Important Than The Goal
  3. The Words Aren’t Magic (But They Are Important) When Tapping
  4. The Grounding Process
  5. Tapping For Pain w/ Dan Cleary

The Inconvenient Truth About Shame And Guilt

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Good Morning!

We all know that shame and guilt are debilitating.

When I am feeling either of those emotions I would rather hide under the covers or eat unhealthy quantities of cookies and cream flavored ice cream than face the world. (Yes, cookies and cream ice cream is my go-to for unhealthy emotional eating!)

I hate feeling guilty or ashamed! But did you know that when we feel these emotions we are more likely to make choices that hurt us AND more likely to hurt others as well?

Here is the inconvenient truth about shame and guilt (I warn you that if you read this it will change the way you approach these emotions): https://tappingqanda.com/?p=9085

Once we realize we need to deal with shame and guilt (or any other issue for that matter) we need a plan of attack for tapping.

This week I wanted to share with you how carrying an eraser in my pocket has transformed the way I tap.

If you have ever wondered how I think about my personal tapping work, here is the key: https://tappingqanda.com/?p=9093

I hope you find these two tools helpful this week!

As always, let me know what I can do for you.

Gene

NEW & FEATURED ARTICLES

How Carrying An Eraser In My Pocket Changed The Way I Tap – Tapping is not about tapping something in or tapping something out. It’s about clearing away what is unneeded. In this podcast I explain how an eraser helps me to know what to tap for.

Your Guilt Is Holding You Back AND It’s Holding Others Back – Over the last few weeks I have done a lot of writing and recording on guilt and shame. It is clear that guilt and shame can hold us back, but did you know that guilt and shame can hurt those around you too? Here is why…

BEST OF TAPPING Q & A

EFT For Feeling Overwhelmed w/ Carol Look

5 Things You Must Know Before Doing EFT With Children and Teens

Tap-Along Audio: Feeling Bad For Taking Care Of Ourselves

Video: How To Avoid Being Sick With Tapping In 60 Seconds A Day

Pod #113: How Carrying An Eraser In My Pocket Changed The Way I Tap

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One of the questions I receive a lot from people new to tapping is, “Aren’t you worried that you will tap something bad in?”

That is a reasonable concern. Often when we are tapping we are saying phrases about how we would like our life to be better while we are tapping. From the outside it almost looks like we are driving the positive phrases into our body and our mind.

But that isn’t what is really happening.

Instead, from my point of view at least, we are in the process of clearing out inaccurate beliefs and perceptions.

In this podcast I explain what I think is really happening when we are tapping, how we can be more successful with our tapping, and why the big pink eraser I have in my front pocket informs the way I tap.

Your Guilt Is Holding You Back AND It’s Holding Others Back

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photo by id-iom

Over the last few weeks I have done a lot of writing and recording on guilt and shame.

There have been two reasons for this. First, they have come up a lot in client calls as of late. Second, because they have been coming up so much for my clients I have been reflecting on them a lot in my own life. As I have stated before, shame is the emotion I find the hardest to deal with and the most debilitating.

If you missed some of the recents posts on this topic, make sure you check out here, here, and here.

A few weeks ago I attended the Spring Energy Event in the Hudson River Valley in New York. One of the speakers said something really interesting about guilt. (Unfortunately, I can’t remember who said it to give proper credit. If you were there and remember who it was please let me know so I can give credit.)

The statement was, “When you feel guilty about something you are holding the other person in a victim state.”

That is an amazing thought!

When I think I have done you wrong, not only does my guilt impact the way I see myself, but it also impacts the way I see you, and therefore the way I interact with you.

When I feel like I have hurt you, I will call you less, be hesitant in your presence, and be reluctant to spend time with you. Even if you don’t think I have done you wrong, my feeling of guilt about something I have done to you will hurt you now.

For me this is a real eye opener. I know it is good for me to tap for my own guilt, but taking care of myself isn’t always my strongest motivation to do work. But, I am more willing to do things that will help my loved ones.

By understanding that tapping for my own guilt and shame will help others encourages me to tap.

If you are looking for an easy way to tap for guilt or shame you can tap along with me in this short video.

What are your thoughts about seeing our own guilt as something that hurts others? Let me know below in the comments.

Why Tapping Q & A Exists

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Tapping Q and A is a labor of love for me. It is a very personal site, written from a very personal point of view.

It is far from the only EFT site out there, and I have never claimed it is the best EFT site. It is simply my point of view on what might be helpful.

From time to time I like to share with you why I created Tapping Q and A, my goals for it, and what you can do to get the most out of the site. This way we are all on the same page.

Why Tapping Q and A Exists

There are 3 reasons why the website, the podcast, and the newsletter exist.

1) To Teach You Something
I work really hard to share the best of the best when it comes to EFT and stopping self-sabotage. You will notice I don’t flood your inbox with lots of affiliate links or sales letters from other people. I only want to share the things that I think are of value and will make your life better.

Before I share anything with you I make sure I know what problem it could solve, for whom it will solve the problem, and what it will look like if that problem is solved. If I can’t articulate all three of those things then I won’t send it.

I love teaching. I love sharing. I want your life to be better and I hope that everything I send works to that end.

2) To Learn Something
One of the reasons I love writing articles and doing interviews for the podcast is because in creating them I learn something every time. I will often sit down to write an article with just half an idea of what I want to articulate, and 90 minutes later I think, “Wow! I didn’t realize that is what I thought.”

Every article or podcast makes me a better practitioner. One of the reasons I create more EFT content than anyone else is because it is part of my own learning process and it serves my clients.

3) To Build My Business
I am not going to lie. This is a business. This is how I make my living. This is how I pay my bills. This is my job.

I want you to give me your money AND I want you to thank me after you have given me your money. Let me explain…

I was talking to a client the other night. She said, “I was so scared to sign up for this program. I have trouble with commitment and I was worried this wasn’t going to work. I am so happy I am doing this. I can feel my life getting better. I am so happy you are working with me.”

She had paid for services, her life was better because of it, and she was happy she had spent the money!

Over 99% of the people who visit Tapping Q and A will never to buy anything and that is perfectly OK. If you show up, use the tools, and make your life better then I will be super happy.

Just know this is a business and I do sell my services and products, so don’t be surprised when you receive a sales letter from me.

What I Expect From You

I know, that looks a bit odd. Why would I expect anything from you? I see this interaction as a relationship. I show up and you show up in the relationship. Here are the things I would ask from you.

1) Use The Tools
As I write this note there are over 500 free resources on the site. There are over 70 hours of audio instruction, over 40 tap-along audios, and over 20 instructional videos.

It does you very little good just to look at the tools on this site.

USE THEM!

Put them into practice. When you heal yourself you are healing the world.

2) Share Something
I have been extremely lucky over the last 6 years to grow the site beyond what I ever thought was possible, but I still only reach a microscopic fraction of the people who could benefit from these tools.

There are people who you can reach that I will never reach. If you see something on the site that you know a loved one could use, please share it.

I am not asking you to spam your address book and forward everything in the site. In a thoughtful manner, if you are so moved, please pass the tools along.

3) Participate
The heart and soul of the site is in answering your questions. That is how it all started. I learn so much from your questions and comments.

If you have a tapping question please let me know. If you read an article or listen to a podcast that resonates for you, then go ahead and add a comment to the site.

When you share your experience the whole community is enriched.

4) Consider Buying Something
There are number of products and services I believe in available on the site. I only offer the things that I think are valuable. Take a few moments to check out these two sites:

My EFT Year

ExpertTappingResources.com

Let Me Know How I Am Doing

I always love to hear from you. I love to hear what is going well and what you need help with. You can always just hit reply to these emails from me. I receive and read all of them.

Let me know how I can be helpful.

Gene

Pod #112: Discover Why You Are Sabotaging Yourself

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Last weekend I had the chance to speak at the Spring EFT & Energy Gathering (Northeastern USA) just outside NYC.

I was asked to speak on EFT and Self-Sabotage. My talk was about 5 lenses we can use to figure out the core issues of our self-sabotage. After explaining them I share how we can tap for those issues once they are identified.

You can download the handout for the talk here: handout

Please note that the sound quality isn’t the greatest, but it is good enough to get the information across.

Pod #111: EFT for Smoking w/ Sue Beer

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On some level most people who smoke really want to quit. Even though the will to change is strong in the larger context of their lives, it is really hard to motivate change in the moment because “one cigarette won’t kill me.”

Usually smoking isn’t the core problem, but symptomatic of a larger issue.

In this interview Sue Beer and I talk about how we can use EFT to stop smoking.


Sue Beer

Guest: Sue Beer

Contact: web @ TheEFTCentre.com; twitter @TheEFTCentre; facebook @ The EFT Centre UK

About Sue: Sue originally trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy and is an experienced Hypnotherapist and Master NLP Practitioner. Sue uses her eclectic training as well as past experience gained from a very successful business career in her work. She is also a student of A Course in Miracles. Sue has extensive experience working with addictions, recovery and personal transformation – the themes of the workshops Healing the Addicted Heart and Opening to Love. She is the author of “Healing the Addicted Heart – 5 Stages of Transformation with EFT”.

You Don’t Have To Tap Away Your Fear With EFT In Order To Take Action

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photo by Svante Adermark

My life is a little crazy right now. From the outside it looks like I am being really brave in the midst of all the craziness.

I am in the process of moving from Baltimore to Brooklyn, NY. I am uprooting my life to move to the fourth largest metropolitan area in the world, where housing rentals are snapped up in a matter of hours, not days. At the moment I know I am certainly moving but I have no clue where I am moving to.

At the same time I am working on some new things that I will be offering on the website which are the most personal things I have ever shared. As those of you who are part of MyEFTYear.com know, one of my goals for this year was to work on my issues around dating and romantic relationships.

About six weeks ago I came up with a list of 32 fears that I have around relationships. Not only have I been tapping for these issues, I have been videoing myself tapping for each issue. Sometime later this summer I plan to make those videos available for you to tap along to too.

Oh boy are those videos raw and messy. Because of their honesty they are more than a bit embarrassing! And there is the little issue of how emotional I have become in a few of them.

“You really are in the brave space right now!!”
That is what one of my friends wrote while we were chatting online: “You really are in the brave space right now!!”

And the truth is, I’m not really in a brave space right now.

Instead I am having moments of bravery and I am taking full advantage of those moments and acting.

For example, one of the reasons the move to NY is happening right now is because I had to let the property managers of my building know this week if I was going to renew my lease. Had I taken no action, then my lease would have renewed automatically.

To let them know I was leaving I had to notify them in an official letter via certified mail.

I wrote the letter, put the letter in an envelope, and stuck the postage on the outside.

AND then I had a hard time breathing. My head was filled with: “What if I can’t find a place to live? What if I can’t really afford the move? Am I going to wreck the relationships I have with my friends here in Baltimore by leaving? Oh crap…moving is hard!”

So I started to tap. I calmed myself down. I walked to the postal box and dropped the letter in.

Fifteen minutes later I was gripped with panic again.

BUT that was OK because the process of moving had started.

The Fear Doesn’t Have To Be Completely Gone To Act
About eight times a day I feel some (or a lot) of anxiety about the move. But just because the worry is still there doesn’t mean that I have to stop making progress. With each passing day I’m progressing and crossing more items off my moving todo list.

I haven’t had to be brave every moment. I haven’t had to eliminate the fears of everything going wrong.

I have only had to keep the fear at bay long enough to take an action that moves me closer to my goal. Once an action is taken it sets off a chain reaction of events to which I respond.

I now have to move out of my place in Baltimore, which is pushing me forward to take more action.

You Don’t Have To Tap It All The Way To A Zero
A lot of tappers make the mistake of thinking that they have to tap an issue completely away. They think that if they haven’t erased the issue with tapping then it isn’t done and they can’t act until it is.

We only need to tap our way to being able to take the next step towards our goal. We might have to start tapping the moment we have completed that step, but what is more important is the fact that we have acted and are closer to our goal.

When tapping our goal isn’t to be anxiety free (though that would be great). Our goal is to make it possible for us to take the action we need to take to progress.

Sometimes those actions might be made in a state of fear, but they are being taken.

You don’t need to tap your way to total relief.

You just need to tap to action.

(And if you need it you can start tapping again.)

Is My Self-Sabotaging Critical Voice Always Going To Be With Me?

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photo by Steve Corey

This week I was working with my client “Molly”. Over the last few weeks we had been tapping for a number of public speaking sales situations. She said:

“Last week was really great. I felt so much more comfortable in my own skin. I was so much more present to my audience and so much less inside of my own head. But I have a question, will that little voice in my head always be there? It feels like it is less powerful now, but it just won’t go away.”

This is a great question. In the article “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” I showed you how to begin to get a handle on your critical voice. But you will notice I don’t talk about making it go away.

There are two things to keep in mind with the critical voice.

It Is There To Be Helpful
I know it can be hard to believe that the critical voice inside your head that is always beating you up is being helpful, but it really is trying to keep you safe. It’s operating from the assumption that if it points out all the things you are doing wrong, you will then correct your actions and make better choices.

You know as well as I do that it doesn’t work like that. That nagging voice doesn’t usually produce any positive change, it simply brings us down and saps our motivation.

When we do something like this 8 step process we can start to transform our critical voice into something useful.

At first blush it would seem that we just want to silence that tireless, nagging voice, but it can be very useful in pointing out possible obstacles and opportunities.

We Will Keep Trying Harder Things
Even when we have tamed our critical voice and have it under control, it will still be useful to us as we move ahead and aim higher. When we stretch ourselves and attempt new and different things that may be a little scary, our critical voice will show up to try to keep us safe.

The moment my internal voice goes mute is the moment that I have stopped growing and progressing.

Making Sure It Is Helpful
So, to answer Molly’s question directly: No, your critical voice will not go away AND that isn’t a bad thing.

Our aim is to move away from an internal battle and to welcome our internal voice as a watchful ally. In doing this we will feel better about ourselves because we aren’t being beaten up for the inside out AND we will be able to move forward in a helpful way.

I would encourage you to re-visit “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” and start the transformation right now.

Pod #110: FasterEFT w/ Robert G. Smith

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I recently did a survey of some of my favorite professional tappers. One of the questions I asked was, “Who in the field is doing the most controversial and experimental work?” The name that came back the most was Robert Smith.

I have done a number of reader surveys over the years asking who you’d like to hear on the podcast. Of practitioners who have not already been interviewed, who is nominated most often? Robert Smith.

So after a number of false starts I finally have an interview with Robert about Faster EFT.

I find Robert’s approach very thoughtful and that I agree with his world view about healing.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the interview and Faster EFT.


RobertSmith

Name: Robert G. Smith

Contact: web @ FasterEFT.com; youtube @ HealingMagic; facebook @ Faster EFT; twitter @fastereft

About Robert: Robert G. Smith is the creator of FasterEFT. He is a Life Coach, a respected leader in the field of personal growth, a popular radio guest and sought after speaker. He is one of America’s leading experts on stress, spirituality and healing.
Robert has reached thousands of people with his positive message about personal power, love and healing with the largest free online healing library available on YouTube with over 250,000 views per month and translated in 14 different languages. He’s travelled all over the world giving public seminars since 2002. Robert has produced over 96 DVDs and continues to ship them worldwide since 2004.

How and Why I am Thinking About You When I Write My Newsletter

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I’m not sure if this is clear, but everytime I send something out my goal is to be helpful and to serve you in some way.

This is true of something as short as a 140 character tweet or as long as an 3000 word article.

It is even true when I send out a sales letter about a new program. When I send out a sales letter (like the one I sent last week) I have two goals:

1) To share something with you that I believe to be of the highest quality and will enrich your life if you choose to invest in it.

2) I would like you to learn something. Even if you don’t choose to buy, my hope is that as I talk about why I created the program and its structure, it will teach you something helpful about the healing process.

With my new 8-month program I received a number of thank you notes from people for whom it is not the right fit.

I think this is great!

It is great that people were able to learn from me selling a program AND it is great when people know that something isn’t the right fit for them.

There are still 2 spots available and I thought it would be helpful to answer some of the questions I have received about the program.

Even if the program isn’t right for you I encourage you to read these questions and answers as it will help you to understand how I see the healing process which may enhance your personal work.

If you can’t remember what I am talking about, here are the details on the program: full detials

* * *

Q: I see in the program that each week we can get an emergency tapping session with you. Is that really true? I don’t want to be a pest and take up all your time.

A: Yes, as part of the program as often as once a week for the whole 8 months you are entitled to an emergency tapping session. You would send me a text or an email when you need a session, and we would find a time when we can tap together.

I am a very good gatekeeper of my time. Part of the reason this is being offered to so few people is because I am making myself available in a way that gives them a lot of attention and also respects my time.

Q: I would like to do this. Let’s do a deal? We do this together and I promise I will do all you ask me, but I only pay you after I get results, OK?

A: This is an interesting idea. You might think that if I am so confident in my work I would happily do something like this, but in my experience when clients have not made a financial investment in the work they simply don’t do it.

65% of the people who have been given a free session by me don’t make the calls. Most of them never follow up, ask for another time, or explain why they didn’t show up. The only time paying clients miss calls is because of extenuating circumstances. They always follow up.

When something is free people show up to use it with the best of intentions, but since there is nothing at stake they simply stay rooted in their self-sabotage.

I know this to be true in my own life. There are many free resources I have downloaded that would do me lots of good but I have not found the time to use them. Yet in the most expensive program I purchased last year I have listened to every audio twice. I set aside 45 minutes every single day for 8 weeks to work with it. It was a major investment and I made sure that I got everything I could out of it.

When you make an financial investment in something you are also making an emotional investment. This will help you to stay focused and achieve success.

Q: I have a concern that came up for me because I can feel some deep resistance to jumping in. It’s a big commitment of time, money, faith and emotion, so I know that’s natural. I’m worried that I’m trying to buy myself out of my misery like I have in the past (e.g. the gym membership or other magic “fix”) and that I’ll cave and fail and end up feeling worse. What are your thoughts on this?

A: Of all the questions I received in this process, this is my favorite. It is honest and accurate. It is a common concern when we are on the edge of doing something difficult.

One of the strengths of the program and its structure is that it is designed to deal with the ups and downs of change work. There are times where we (and I say “we” because this is true for me as well) are just kicking ass and knocking our issues out. And then there are times when it gets hard. We bump into parts of ourselves that we dislike and would prefer to ignore. We are ashamed of past choices. We feel hopeless about the parts of ourselves that seem too wounded and painful to fix.

One of the main reasons I am moving to this type of model is because it gives me permission to work much more closely with my clients. There is a structure built in to deal with the hard times. If clients are just working in occasional hourly sessions then when the going gets tough they often disappear, at the precise moment they most need support and to do work.

Some of the most fruitful work of the last 9 months has been achieved exactly when my clients felt overwhelmed, on edge, and even very frustrated. Those are not fun times to go through and I don’t go looking to create those moments. But when they show up, we work through them and get to the amazing stuff on the other side of the pain.

In this process you are allowed to feel overwhelmed, sad, worried, and even mad at me. It is part of the healing process. I love EFT and this work because it walks a perfect balance. It allows us to find ways to deal with the tough issues without having to seek them out or throw ourselves into the middle of them for the sake of the pain.

Because there is an established structure and regular contact it will help to keep you on track, and ensures that you are tapping with me when you need it the most.

The gym doesn’t call you when you don’t show up. I will be present when you are knocking out blocks AND I will be there when the work feels painful. I know what it feels like when this work is hard. I know what is like to be in the middle of pain and unable to see or feel beyond it. I am there to stand outside of that for you, to remind you what healing feels like, and be the beacon guiding you to move past it.

* * *

If you are interested in joining me in this type of work let me know so that we can chat to see if this program is the right fit for you.

Again, full program details are here: full detials

Only 2 spots left!

If you have any other questions please let me know.

As always, let me know what I can do to be helpful.

Gene

Pod #109: How To Use EFT In The Absence Of Specific Memories w/ Lindsay Kenny

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Sometimes there is a clear entry point to a problem. There is a past moment we keep reliving where we see exactly what went wrong. Other times there is a clear pattern we are trying to change, like emotional eating, where we can tap on specific actions that are happening regularly.

But this is not always the case. Sometimes there are issues beneath the surface which affect us more generally, such as low self esteem, and it’s difficult to know how to tap for them.

In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about a simple process that we can use for these issues. I would encourage you to have a piece of paper and pencil to hand as you listen.

As we did this interview I worked through the process in real time and found it extremely helpful.


Lindsay Kenny

Guest: Lindsay Kenny

Contact: web @ ProEFT.com; twitter @ProEFT

Bio: Lindsay Kenny is an EFT Master, author, and Founder of Pro EFT™, and the Pro EFT™ Institute. She’i also a Life Coach, writer, and certified Trainer of Trainers. Coming from a background of poverty, abuse and deprivation, she has used Tapping and the Law of Attraction to create the life of her dreams. Lindsay’s mission in life has been helping others be their best.

She is happy to have had the tools of tapping to fulfill her mission for the past 16 year. While Lindsay will be retiring in 2016, she is turning over the wheel to several of her highly talented, board certified practitioners. This group of Pro EFT™ Masters and Trainers is being headed by Tess Pierson, a long-time student of Lindsay and Pro EFT™. Lindsay will still be maintaining her website ProEFT.com

Is The Way You Are Talking About Your Issues Stopping Your Progress?

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photo by Marlon Malabanan

The words we use to describe our world are very important because they impact the way we understand what we are experiencing. The words we use give our experience meaning.

For example, if I say, “Everyone at work hates me!” that will impact the way I walk into the office because I will have my guard up with every interaction.

If a client says this to me, my follow up question is, “Really, everyone?” Most of the time their response is something like, “No, but Jim, Sally, and Devon really have it out for me.”

You can see that when the work environment is described by having trouble with three people v everyone, we would walk in with a different mindset.

All of this came to mind in a recent client session. “Jeff” was lamenting the fact that he was not tapping as much as he would like. As we continued the conversation it was revealed that the reason he was not tapping was because he was worried that there was some big nasty issue under the surface that he really didn’t want to tackle.

That is a perfectly reasonable and common reason that people don’t tap.

Later in our session, as we were talking about his plans to tap over the next few weeks, he said, “I am going to set 30 minutes aside each morning to tap on the big stuff.”

I stopped him and said, “I think you are setting yourself up for failure. You said that you were having trouble tapping on difficult issues and now you are saying you want to go after the big. How about you go after the important stuff? That might be big, it might be small, but it will have high value. That will make it easier to do the work.”

I will admit that it seems like a subtle change, but I think words are that important. The way we talk about the world is the way we will then interact with the world.

Take a moment to think about the parts of your life you are not happy with or the issue you normally tap on. How do you describe those problems? Do you describe them as impossible, inevitable, or overwhelming?

Make a list of all the adjectives you would use to describe your issues, write them down, and note your emotional response to those words.

This is very telling. If there is little or no hope of success, or if you describe the process of healing as painful or overwhelming, then you will live up to those words.

When you see the process as too hard or too painful you will sabotage yourself and you will avoid the work you need to do.

If you change the way you talk about your problems then you will also change the way you respond to them.

I would love hear the words you came up with when describing your issues in the comments below.

Here is a tapping script that will help you when feel like your problems are too big or hard:

I know there are a lot of things I need to tap for…Some of these things feel really big…And because they feel so big I don’t want to approach them…I am worried they are going to be too much…They will take too much time…And too much effort…It feels like hard work going after them…I am not going to do the hard stuff…I am going to do the important stuff…I am going to work on the issues that are facing me right now…They may be old issues…They may be new issues…But they will be the issues that are impacting me now…And by going after the issues that are affecting me now…I will only need to do as much as is needed to move forward…I don’t have to deal with it all right away…Just the things that are holding me back now.

Pod #108: EFT For Fear of Rejection In The Age Of Invitation w/ Rick Wilkes

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We live in interesting times. Every morning when I wake up I am bombarded with friend requests, invitations to attend events, fund projects, and try new programs. At the exact same time it is possible for me to go through an entire day and not have one single profound connection with another person.

In this conversation with Rick Wilkes we talk about how scary it can be to put yourself out in the world with the intention of making genuine connections when it feels like we will be judged.

This is Rick’s fourth appearance on the podcast. The reason I have him back so often is because he is so insightful! This conversation is one of my favorites and I really encourage you to listen to it!


Rick Wilkes

Guest: Rick Wilkes, LMT

Contact Info: thrivingnow.com, Rick@Thrivingnow.com, 1-304-284-0711 or 1-888-222-3856

Bio: Rick Wilkes is an EFT practitioner based in Morgantown, WV. Over the last six years Rick has worked with more than 1500 clients. He works regularly with individuals and with his Thriving Now Groups.

Here’s what one of Rick’s loyal clients says: “Working with Rick Wilkes both privately and on team calls has helped me greatly to release the past, move more confidently into the future, and mostly to be more joyfully present in the now. Rick’s open-hearted broader perspective, amazing intuition, and great sense of humor always help me to get right to the core and effectively reframe whatever issue I have. Listening to him work with others has helped me to get in touch with stuff I didn’t even know was there and inspired me in my own work with others. It is a blessing and honor to work with such a master.”

Rick’s articles, programs, and products Thriving Now

The Scariest Thing I Have Ever Done With Tapping And How You Can Benefit From It

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Please read this carefully! I am only making this offer available to 7 people.

This is not one of those fake offers like a business that has been having a going out of business sale for five years.

Only 7 spots! (And you will see why there are only 7 as you read on.)

If you don’t want to read this long note…no worries. You will receive the regular newsletter on Thursday with links to the resources you have come to expect from Tapping Q and A.

Gene

* * *

I don’t know if you have paying close attention to the newsletter and website over the last few months, but there has been a change.

There hasn’t been a change in technique; I am still tapping.

There hasn’t been a change in topic; I am still focusing on how how we can change our lives for the better.

What has changed is how personal I have become.

I Wasn’t Sure About This Change
I would be the first to admit that I didn’t rush into this change.

At first I shared a little more about my own struggles in the newsletter. Then I wrote longer articles about the things I struggled with. In the last few weeks I have just turned on the camera and started tapping.

I didn’t know how you would react.

I thought you might think I was being unprofessional.

I was concerned that you might think I was making it too much about me.

I hoped getting that personal would serve as a good model, but I really didn’t know.

Pleasant Surprise
I was pleasantly surprised by the response. Those articles and videos are some of the most commented upon on the entire site.

This has taught me two things:

  1. When I am honest with you I am a better teacher.
  2. When I am honest with myself I am able to heal and transform at a much faster rate.

I Continue To Learn About The Healing Process (AND Continue To Learn How I Can Be Wrong)
As this process has unfolded, in addition to learning about myself and the value of honesty, I have learned something about the healing process.

Not only have I learned something about the healing, I have learned that something I thought about the healing process was wrong.

Let me explain…

When it comes to using tapping to clear out limiting beliefs and past issues there are two extremes.

At one end of the spectrum there is the Personal Peace Procedure. If you are not familiar with the PPP what you do is write down every bad memory of your whole life and then, one issue at a time, you tap through them all. If you clear everything out then you won’t have anything left to hold you back.

At the other end of the spectrum you craft a list of goals, start working towards those goals, and tap for any resistance or issues that come up. By doing this you will deal with those issues that have the biggest impact your goals.

I was in the second camp.

You will notice I said was… Don’t get me wrong, I still think the idea doing the personal peace procedure sounds as much fun as poking sharp things in my eyes.

What has changed is the recognition that there are some big issues that need to be addressed head on and it is precisely because they are so painful that we never get close enough to trigger them, and therefore they don’t show up in our daily lives.

I have learned that in addition to going after the issues that come up as I name and work towards my goals, I also need to make a concerted effort to tap for these bigger issues.

(Some of those issues are the ones I have addressed in the latest tapping videos, like the one about shame where I get a little misty eyed tear up.)

Some Of The Best Days Ever
As I write this note I am sitting at an outdoor cafe on a sunny Spring day. I am on my way to being in the best shape of my life as I train to do a one hundred mile bike ride at the end of the summer. My relationships with my friends are as close and honest as they have ever been. I am months away from fulfilling a dream that I have had for the last 10 years. I am doing the most enjoyable and most profound client work of my life.

My life is far from perfect AND I still have lots of personal work to do, but I am moving in a upward direction that is so wonderful.

This has happened because of two things. First, I have a clear vision of where I would like to head and second, I am taking the time to go after these deep core issues in an organized way that is producing deep healing.

I want you to be one of 7 people who over the remaining 8 months of 2013 has the opportunity to experience the exact same type of progress as you transform your own life.

I am looking for 7 people who want New Year’s Eve to look like this:

New Year’s Eve
I want you to imagine New Year’s Eve in 8 months from now. You are out with friends and loved ones. It’s about 11:15 PM and everyone is waiting for the stroke of midnight.

During a lull in the conversation someone innocently asks, “What are everyone’s New Year’s resolutions?” One after another people talk about losing weight, going back for that second degree, finding love, getting a new job, or finally getting the house organized.

When your turn comes you just smile and say, “I don’t have any resolutions. My life is getting better and better. I have taken control of my life and don’t need to come up with any resolutions.”

Sound like something you would like to say? (Or at least think?)

Read on…

8 Months To Change Your Life
If you decide to take the plunge, this is what the next 8 months of your life will look like:

I will teach you how to come up with a clear vision for your life AND we will craft that vision in detail.

I will teach you how to break down the larger tasks necessary to achieving your goals into smaller tasks AND come up with a plan for the vision that we have created for your life.

I will make sure the self sabotage ends. Not only will I show you how to stop the limiting thoughts and beliefs, we will knock them out in one-on-one sessions AND I will personally make sure you stay on track.

(This is NEW!) I will lead you through 16 core issues that are at the heart of what is holding you back and we will knock them out one at a time.

It will happen like this:

Part 1: Creating A Vision
You can’t get to where you want to go unless you know precisely where that is. The first step is to create a very clear vision of what you want. We will take an honest look at your life right now, figure out what you don’t like and why you don’t like it, and then create realistic, well-defined targets.

This will be done through personal inventory, detailed interview by me, and a half day session where we will create a clear picture of where you are going. The half day session can be done here in Baltimore face-to-face, via video Skype, or online, according to your preference. All of it will be recorded so you can revisit it.

When this part is complete you will have a clear set of achievable goals to work toward. (Value $1250)

Part 2: Creating A Plan
Once we have clarified your vision we will break the big goals down into discrete, concrete steps, and each of these steps will be placed on a timeline to make certain you know which step needs to be taken next. This will help you to stay on task doing the right thing (not just being busy for the sake of it) and ensure that you don’t have to think of everything all at once to keep you from feeling overwhelmed.

This plan will be our road map. It will help us to find pitfalls and emotional blocks. It will also provide us with some surprises along the way. With a clear plan of action it is easier to be open to new possibilities and opportunities. Every time I have used this planning process I have achieved everything I was shooting for AND more. (Value $950)

Part 3: Getting Out Of Your Own Way
This is the most important work we will do. When we get out of our own way we see the path ahead much more clearly because our vision is no longer blurred by fear and trepidation. The tasks we face don’t feel so big and we start to move forward naturally. This will happen in two ways: by clearing the issues that come up as we move forward, and working on the 16 core issues.

To do this you will have access to:

  • Bi-monthly Strategy Sessions: Every other week we will talk for 45 minutes to review your progress, plan for the next week, see how we need to tweak the plan as new things come up, and tap for any issues or limiting beliefs that are preventing you from taking the steps you need to be taking. To do this I have crafted two tools that will help you stay on track day to day between our sessions. (8 months of bi-monthly strategy sessions, value $1750)
  • Bi-monthly Tapping Sessions: Every other week we will tap for 45 minutes for one of the 16 core issues. (8 months of bi-monthly strategy sessions, value $1750)
  • 15 Minute Fire-ups: As often as once a week when you need 15 minutes of tapping to get motivated to do something or are feeling overwhelmed, we will jump on the phone for 15 minutes of power tapping to get you into the right frame of mind. (8 months of fire-up tapping sessions, value $1150)
  • Email Support: Have a question about tapping, the plan, or how to approach a problem? I will answer every email question within 24 hours. (I have only offered this once before so I am not even going to try and put a $ amount on it)
  • The 10 Steps To Getting Out Of Your Own Way To Get What You Want: These audios will teach you the tools I use for tasks from as small as re-arranging my living room to as big as writing a book. (Value $190)
  • Advanced Tapping Training: These are the best-of-the-best tools I use with myself and with my clients. Even if you will never use tapping to work with someone else, by mastering these techniques you will make your personal tapping time more efficient. (Value $495)
  • One Year Membership To MyEFTYear.com: Unlimited access to the My EFT Year membership site which includes 3 tap along audios a week, one new tapping tool a week, and two teleclasses a month. (Value $199)

Bonus: Share The Love
As an added bonus you will be given three one-on-one sessions with me that you can give to a loved one so they can also enjoy the power of EFT. (Value $435)

Don’t Take My Word For It
Here is what a current client has said about working with me in this way:

One of the most remarkable things about working with Gene is his ability to “get” whatever it is I’m going through and then reframe it in a way that lets me move forward. Here’s what I mean: When I’m working with a painful or difficult issue, I can only seem to describe it using a random, confused, and chaotic stream of thoughts and feelings. Gene is able to absorb and process all of that chaos, zero in on the underlying issue, and then help me see it in a whole new light.

Working with Gene has helped me move forward in two very significant ways:

First, when we initially started working together I was trying to overcome the hatred and resentment I felt towards my father. This had been a lifelong struggle for me, and I had worked with many other practitioners before trying to resolve it. Fortunately, I made tremendous progress with Gene. I say “fortunately” because about six months after starting with Gene, my father had a stroke and ended up bedridden, requiring round-the-clock medical care. I was able to be there with him during this time, and was able to make sure that his last wishes were honored. This would have been inconceivable before I started working with Gene.

Second, after 12 years working as a software developer in corporate America, I finally was able to go out on my own as a freelance developer. Gene helped me navigate the terror and conflicting feelings involved in making, and then sticking with the transition. Here’s the remarkable thing: Instead of giving me the usual “rah-rah, go for your dreams” speech, he cautioned me from the beginning to take a thoughtful, measured approach to the transition, and helped me explore way to make the move in a safe, sane manner.
— Lee, Florida

Why Only 7 People?
As you see in the description above I am offering a lot of time and attention. In order to give those who take up this offer the attention they need and still take care of my other clients, I only have space in my schedule to do this type of work with 7 people.

Unprecedented Access
I have only offered this type of access to clients once before. If you wanted you could hire me for all of these pieces, but it wouldn’t serve you in the same way. By having all of these parts working together over a set period of time you will be setting yourself up for success. This package is worth well over $8000 in value, and if you take advantage of everything that is offered you will get a lot more value out of it than that.

An Investment In Yourself
I’m going to honest: this isn’t for everyone.

This isn’t even for most people.

7 people is fewer than 0.2% of the people who are receiving this invitation through the newsletter. Or to put it another way, only 1 out of every 2000 people who visit TappingQandA.com this month are going to do this.

If you would like to do some tapping on back pain or a fear of heights, this isn’t for you. (I would love to talk to you about crafting a program that will work for you if that is the case. Just reply to this note with questions.)

This program is only for you if you are ready to make a major change in your life.

This is about changing your health, your job, and/or your relationships.

This is about getting out of your own way and stopping your self sabotage for both the big and little things.

This is an investment in yourself because you will be working to change something that will pay off for years to come.

I am offering this 8 months of one-on-one personal care for $4497 (or 6 monthly payments $849).

Like I said, this isn’t for everyone.

This is for those people who are ready to make the move right now and are willing to invest in their own success.

Making Sure We Are The Right Fit
Because this is such a large investment I want to make sure we are the right fit.

If you are interested in doing this program simply reply to this note so that we can set up some time to chat. I want to be sure that I can answer all of your questions and to make sure I am the right support for you.

ALSO, to be blunt: I want to make sure you are committed to transformation. I am only going to be working with 7 people in this fashion and I want to make sure that they are the right people. This doesn’t mean you have to know exactly where you want to go (we will work on that), but you do need to be serious about changing your life for the better AND be willing to do the work to make that happen.

Remember, Only 7 People
The 7 spots will be filled on a first come, first served basis. Email me today if you are interested.

All you need to do is reply to this message or send me a note at gene@tappingqanda.com

If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know so we can talk about it.

I want to know how I can best serve you to get you to where you want to be.

Blessings,

Gene

Pod #107: When We Care So Much That The World Becomes A Painful Place

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Most of my readers, listeners, and clients are big hearted people. Not only do they see the obstacles in their own lives, but they recognize the struggle of others.

When we recognize the struggles of others we also open ourselves up to experiencing their pain.

On one hand this allows us to connect and respond to where they are coming from. On the other hand it can open us up to feeling overwhelmed and a great deal of pain when we realize how many problems we are unable to solve.

It is a tricky balance between being open and not being so open that we feel overwhelmed.

Here is how I try to navigate this balance:

Video: EFT For Shame

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For me, the most painful and debilitating emotion is when I feel ashamed of something I have done wrong.

When I feel ashamed, it is because I know I could have done better or I chose the wrong path. Many times I know the right thing to do and still choose the wrong thing. That produces a lot of feeling ashamed!

And as I hate feeling ashamed, I limit my risk. I don’t take chances. Because if I don’t take chances then I can’t make poor choices. And if I can’t make poor choices then I avoid feeling ashamed.

This emotional state is the most powerful source of self sabotage in my life.

A few weeks ago I woke up on a Saturday morning and decided I need to tap for feeling ashamed. This video is the result.

Feel free to tap along with me:

If you would like guidance in helping you to tap regularly come over to MyEFTYear.com.

Pod #106: EFT For When We Can’t Trust Our Self w/ Andy Bryce

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When I am working with clients one of the things I keep in mind with all behavior is that when someone makes a choice they are making the best choice they can make based on the information they have and the resource state they are in.

We can quickly realize that we have made a bad choice (something in a split second after we have acted), but in that moment we are really doing the best that we can.

The problem comes when we are working for a place of fear. When this happens we will make lots of short term choices and very few long term choices. This can create a series of many bad choices.

Over time these choices add up and we can end up in a place where we no longer trust ourselves or trust our ability to make a good choice.

In this interview I talk with Andy Bryce about what are the underlying causes of losing that trust in ourselves (such as guilt, shame, and lack trust) and how we can turn that around.


Andy Bryce

Guest: Andy Bryce

Contact: Web @ TappingThrough.com; Email @ andy@tappingthrough.com; Twitter @eftandybryce; Facebook @ EFTAndyBryce

About Andy: Andy Bryce has been working with personal growth, wellbeing and emotional resilience for over thirty years. For the last seventeen years, his primary toolkit has been Emotional Freedom Techniques. In 2006, Andy was certified as one of only 30 EFT Master Practitioners worldwide. Andy is also a certified mBraining Coach and P.E.T. practitioner.

Andy is a past Director of Training for AAMET, and has trained EFT practitioners in Belgium, France, Canada, USA, Mexico, Australia, Italy, Greece, South Africa and the UK as a Trainer of Trainers.

Video: How To Use EFT After You Have Failed To Reach Your Goals (w/ Tap-Along)

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One of the main focuses of My EFT Year program (which you can try for only $1) is working towards clearly defined goals.

I love goals and goal setting!

Much my personal success over the last decade was in direct proportion to how well I was using my goal list.

But there are times, even with the best goal setting tools in the world, when we can lose our momentum.

This is exactly what happened to me in February and March. As my British friends would say, I completely lost the plot. I made almost no progress towards my goals.

There was good reason for this. I traveled over 40 days in two months. Much of this travel was for work. It wasn’t that I was being lazy, but I still fell behind.

April is a new month! I am right back on track and have a great plan for moving forward.

Even with that said, I was dealing with a lot of frustration and guilt over feeling that I had squandered some opportunities. No matter how good my new plan was, I couldn’t move forward unless I did something about the frustration and guilt.

I realized that this was something that I really need to tap for, and I wanted you to experience that tapping too.

Here is me tapping for my guilt and frustration over squandered opportunities.

If you are looking for a way to stop self sabotage and move toward your goals you should check out My EFT Year

How To Tap Surrogately For Animals

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Last week I was in Portland, OR visiting my sister. On Saturday we took my sister’s dog Addison to the vet for a regular check-up and to have her nails trimmed. (The photo is of Addison looking at me while I was doing client sessions from my sister’s.)

Addison doesn’t like having her nails cut. She was already a little skittish, but when the time came to have them done she did everything she could to hide in a room that had no hiding place. It took my sister and a vet tech to get Addison on the ground and hold her down, while another vet tech clipped her nails.

She started to fight. Every time a nail was clipped she would jump (or jumped as much as a dog can with two humans holding her down with all their strength).

Then I started to tap. It was very simple. I just moved from point to point and thought of all the things that Addison might be feeling.

This is scary
I don’t know what is happening
That hurts
I am confused

My thoughts weren’t any more complicated than that. Within 20 seconds Addison was completely limp and relaxed. My sister took her weight off Addison and removed both of her arms.

For the next 45 seconds Addison didn’t move while the vet tech clipped away. She didn’t twitch, she didn’t flinch, and she didn’t yelp.

When the job was done she jumped up, shook off her coat, and went for the treat I was offering her.

Based on this experience I thought it would a great time to reshare an awesome interview I did with Susan Peach about how to tap for animals. In addition to the audio you will find the transcript of the interview below. I would love to hear your stories about tapping with animals in the comments section.

* * *

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping is not only a powerful tool in transforming our own lives, but we can use it to care for our loved ones. This is not limited to just humans, but we can extend this love and care through tapping to our animals as well. In this episode I talk with Susanne Peach about how tapping for animals is similar and different to surrogate tapping for humans. Susan gives a number of very practical tips in how you can start tapping right way for your animals.

 


Susanne Peach

Guest: Susanne Peach

Susanne’s Contact Info: web @ Animaleze.com, phone @ 303.926.5414, e-mail @ contact page

About Susanne: Susanne Peach, Animal Energy Behaviorist, has been surrounded by animals her entire life. She has had the opportunity to study the energy of animals in many instances, from time spent on her godmother’s farm in Germany to a designation as a certified wildlife rehabilitator. After successfully using EFT on humans, she learned by trial and error how to apply it to animals. She’s dedicated her life to helping animals have emotionally happy and healthy lives, tapping for animals all over the world.

Links & Resources From Episode:

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Want more info on surrogate tapping?

* * * Transcript * * *

Gene: What are some of the issues that we can use tapping for when we are tapping for animals?

Susanne: I would try EFT on everything for animals, believe it or not. The obvious issues would be anxiety, separation anxiety, fear of thunder, fear of the vet, everything that you can think of. But keep in mind I would also use EFT on animals as a preventive measure. For example, my dog just had an ACL surgery 3 months ago which is CCL on dogs; it’s knee surgery and there is no way of getting around it. This is one of the times of course always go to your vet. EFT isn’t meant to replace good veterinary care. While I tapped for him, for the knee surgery, here’s what I did differently, Gene. There were 4 dogs that they have in this knee surgery. I tapped for my dog before we went to the vet and when we got to the vet. Specifically when he was going under anesthesia and when he was in surgery, I asked the vet exactly what time that was. The reason why I want to ensure that his body accepted the anesthesia as being good for him at this time, that his body would appreciate it. Also, all of the changes, the cut and everything, would be in my dog’s best interest and his health’s best interest. And that he would come out of anesthesia beautifully. My dog tended to be very nervous at the vet’s office. All of the technicians and the vet said that he was the most relaxed after surgery. When they were all coming out, he came out the fastest. And so, use it on preventive care, use it for physical stuff, use it for emotional traumas. Like I said, for physical issues as well, I’ve done lots of work on different animals; horses, pet dogs, llamas. Of course EFT doesn’t cure everything, but probably the biggest is when I worked on a cat once who had cancerous tumors and after 3 months of EFT, they were gone.

Gene: Wow!

Susanne: Coincidence?

Gene: Yeah!

Susanne: So here’s what I say, that’s not always the case but try it on everything. Everything!

Gene: In doing the preventive stuff for something like a visit to the vet when you know what the procedures are is something that you know is going to be stressful for the animal. For things that are physically obvious, that makes sense. You talked about fear and separation anxiety, how are you able to figure out that’s what you’re supposed to be tapping for?

Susanne: That’s a great question Gene and that’s actually something I will have a conversation with the humans and they’ll tell me what the behaviors are, if they’re afraid of thunder and what not, but it’s not always a fear of the thunder. Sometimes we can trace it back to fear of loud noises; perhaps they were abused in previous homes or as a puppy. What I do first of all is I have a really great questionnaire that I have people fill out. Based on the questions, that kind of gives me a good idea as to what to tap on and to get to the core issue such as, when did this behavior start? When did you notice the behavior at its worst? One of the questions that I put on there, which was based on all of the work that I did and this pattern that kept coming up, is I would ask people if there was an injury or an emotional issue that has not healed, an injury that hasn’t healed. Maybe it’s been 9 to 10 months or a year and you’ve done everything as a good veterinary care. Then I ask the question, what is going on in your life, in the human’s life in the time of the injury or at the time this trauma first occurred? It is so interesting Gene to see how many times – I would say 80% to 90% of the time – we can find something significant in the person’s life that the animal took on and affected the animal. Do you want to hear an example of that?

Gene: That would be great, yeah!

Susanne: I worked with a man, he called me about his dog who had injured his leg 9 months previously and the leg was not healed and he was very concerned. I asked a lot of questions and then I asked what was going on in your life. The guy said, “Nothing really.” And I said, “OK, how about a couple of months before the injury?” He said, “You know what, that’s when my investments had gone down so drastically that I found I had to work an extra year. I had planned on retiring and now I had to work an extra year and I was so upset and I didn’t feel secure.” Here’s the crazy thing, I thought let’s try to tap on that. I tapped on the animal; even though I didn’t feel secure, even though there were changes, even though my daddy was so upset and he was worried, I choose to know I’m safe. ****, the dog didn’t get better. So just try it, go for it.

Gene: It sounds like the investigation that we do with our animals is the exact same investigation that we do when we’re tapping on our own issues as far as looking at history, recognizing one thing and things like that. And then on the other hand, there is also a second level of investigation that happens in regards to doing the investigation around the humans and the way that the animals take on and emotionally mirror what’s going on in their caretakers’ lives.

Susanne: That is absolutely right because we know animals are great healers. What we are not aware of is they often mirror exactly what’s going on with us. A number of people I have talked to whose animals, particularly when they adopt animals and they don’t know what the issues are, that turn out to be the same issues that they had. Possibly the person was abused and his animal was abused or something. It’s so amazing. Or the animal takes on the issue. You’re right on that. You’re right on target.

Gene: If those are the kind of similarities, is there any dramatic difference in doing EFT with animals versus doing EFT with humans?

Susanne: Yes! Actually it was quite different. I had to work through this the hard way because I started when my dog and I were in a car accident and at that time I had not heard of anyone using EFT on animals so I had to mess around with it. What I found is most animals do not like to be tapped on in particular those animals who are abused. The horses that I worked on, that I had to rescue, obviously it’s not safe for you to work on very hyper animals. I even worked on charging cows and such. Yes, we surrogate tap with humans but what is different with surrogate tapping for animals is that there are a couple of different things to know. You take on their persona, think of it from the animal’s point of view when we tap. That’s what I do. Also what I found totally by accident is when I surrogate tap on animals, I will often feel something within my body or an image comes up that is totally unrelated to me or anything I’ve experienced. When I start tapping on whatever it is that comes up, often the animal’s issues will go away.

Gene: That sounds very similar to the experiences I’ve had with surrogate tapping for humans. That sense of placing ourselves in their point of view and also paying attention to what arises as we do that and oftentimes find our way to really good information. When we tap for our animals, we’re not in a circumstance where we have the same communication that we have with one of our regular clients. I can’t turn to the dog and say what’s your SUDs and he’s going to bark 4 times to let me know where it is from zero to ten. How do I know if one, if I’m being successful; and two, if I’ve done enough work or if I need to continue doing the work because there is some relief but I don’t know if we’re done or not?

Susanne: That’s another time where it is different to do EFT on animals. Here’s what I do. In testing the work, sometimes I don’t know exactly what the core issue is or I don’t even know what the real issue is. So what I’ll do is what Gary Craig called Golden Garbage. I’ll start tapping and it’s so amazing to see how many times the animal will respond. They will have subtle changes in their behavior and this why it’s really important to understand what normal behaviors are in each of these different animals. If I’m tapping on a horse and I’m not sure if it’s right but suddenly it starts licking its lips and you know he’s getting relaxed and I know I’m heading in the right direction. Another time I worked on a dog and I wasn’t really sure as to what the issue was contributing to the emotional behavior. I just started tapping and as soon as I started tapping, “Even though I’m upset that Jennifer…”. – a teen girl in the household went away to college – the dog started moving kind of doing that bike ride like there was no tomorrow, just shaking. I knew I was on to something. When I find that there is some kind of an issue, perhaps the animal becomes more agitated, I might back off a little but I know I’m in the right area. I’ll just keep tapping on that until the animal relaxes. It’s true. In some cases, we don’t know right away if we’ve done a great job with the animal, if we’re done with them. But what I always do is I always tell the people, give it 24 hours. If we don’t see results in this session for whatever reason, give the animal 24 hours because there is something strange that happens with animals, Gene, that I have found has not happened with most humans. Many animals take about 24 hours for the changes to occur. It could be that they’re in the protective mode, they’re holding on to it, whatever. I always tell the people don’t be discouraged if you don’t see any changes in this session because EFT continues working over time. There are ways that we can test our work. I was working with a dog who was terrified of loud noises, not just thunder but shotguns and everything. You can do the testing of the work without bringing in thunder obviously but mind you when you test it, start off with something small. So when we do some tapping, she’d clap her hands and see if the dog has finally moved on. But if I’m not sure, I’ll just keep tapping and I’ll check in with the person too. A lot of the work with animals is intuition; knowing when to keep going, knowing when we’re done. Something else that comes into play is I will ask the person, “While we’re tapping, did you have any memories of anything?” This is another component; we can talk about the chain of worry. But the person say, “Oh yeah, when you we’re tapping with that with my cat, I remembered when I was a little girl, this happened”. So whether it was related to the cat or not, it’s worth tapping on the person by coming back to the cat because we are so connected to our animals that they do pick up on so much. Does that make sense?

Gene: Absolutely! That makes perfect sense. So let’s say that I’m in a circumstance where I’m working with my pet and I have a pretty good idea if I think what’s going on. I spend some time tapping for them, tapping with them. I don’t necessarily get any physiological response I wait 24 hours. I don’t notice any change even though I’ve given it some space and some time. What are some of the reasons that will prevent me from being successful of tapping with my animal?

Susanne: The number one reason that I come across over and over when you’re working on your own animals is not getting yourself out of the way. I wrote this article called Chain of Worry because I found it happened to me as much as I have worked with animals. It was happening when I was working with one of my dogs. Here’s what it is. We are so connected to our animals, there’s almost this invisible chain between our hearts. When I would work on the animal and clear out their issues, if I hadn’t worked on the worry that concerned the anxiety that we feel for the animal then the animal will pick up on that and their issues come back again.

Here’s what I found: I first had to work on the person and I think about 80% to 90% of the time where I will tap on the person about their fears and anxieties and concerns for the animal, what this does is it gets them out of the way. It gets their outcome out of the way, relying on the outcome. And it gets them out of the way so that can clearly tap on the animal. I definitely know that you don’t care about the animal, you don’t notice when something is going on, or you don’t love them anymore but we need to break that chain so that our animals aren’t constantly feeding off of it. Once you start tapping on your own concerns like, “Even though I’m so worried about Rover. What if he doesn’t get feel? He’s my best friend. I choose to be grateful for having him as he is.” And when you do that, the animal will relax quite a bit more and we can get through the issues faster.

Gene: You know I love that advice. I give that exact same advice for anyone who’s tapping surrogately for anything. That there’s such an amazing power when we’re able to get ourselves clear and get ourselves out of the way and get whatever we are helping to co-create in that circumstance cleaned up because that is always the easiest place for us to do work because that’s our own stuff.

Susanne: Exactly!

Gene: So I really love that and I think that’s great to point that out here. So, what capacity can our animals benefit from the borrowing benefits of us doing tapping?

Susanne: The borrowing benefit as you know is probably one of the most powerful tools in EFT. In particular with animals, I find this is yet an untapped area. I would love to see all humane society using this because in many times I have gone into a group of animals. For example, I was hired by a woman who trains service dogs. I walked into the house and there were like 8 dogs. They were all hyper and in a frenzy. I just do a group tapping and they all calmed down. Calming them down was great with borrowing benefits. You can do it intentionally. Do a group tapping. Or you can set the intention which most of us do now. But before every session or at the beginning of every session I always ask, what are the issues with the other animals in the house or perhaps the other people? And let’s set the intention that the tapping we do will benefit them. Here’s a really great thing that hopefully everyone will be seeing soon is last year the EFT organization came on a film. We’re working on a dog and some horses. When we got to this corral with the horses, we sat down. They were pretty antsy. There were about 11 of them. They were spread out and kind of running around. We quite set the intention that the tapping we’re doing for this one particular horse that I was brought out to work on will benefit all of the rest of the horses and whatever issues that they have. We have cameras there, we have new people there. It was a bit of a change for these horses. It was the most amazing thing that after about 10 minutes, one of the cameraman said “Look at that.” They turned around and all of the horses had gathered right behind us where we were sitting. They all had dropped their heads; their eyes were closed, totally relaxed, totally comfortable with us. I asked the woman,“Is this normal?” She said, “No, they usually don’t calm down this fast.” So think of the way we can use it in humane society. Another really good example is we recently had wildfires here in Boulder, Colorado. I had worked with some llamas on a ranch and unfortunately the wildfires got really close to the llama ranch this year. In fact the fire has burned down the house of the owner. It was very traumatic. All of the llamas were safe, the 126 llamas were safe but the woman was pretty distraught. Understand that when wildfires get that close to animals, they go into that natural panic mode because they’re fighting for their survival. So I went out the next day and spent about 6 hours with these llamas, tapping all of them at once about the fears of the wildfires. It’s not to say that they won’t run when wildfires come again but it’s to know that now they’re safe, the wildfires are out. And also they’re safe even though the woman that owned the ranch was still very distraught. There’s so many ways we can use borrowing benefits.

Gene: So what would be the one thing you would tell someone who has some EFT experience and it’s the first time they’re going to try and use the protocol to work with their animal? What’s the first thing you would tell them to keep in mind or the first thing you would tell them to help them to be at ease as they do that work?

Susanne: It’s probably the same thing I teach in my EFT classes. As I say, tap on yourself to get yourself out of the way and then ask that the words come through you that would most benefit the animal. Once you tap on getting yourself out of the way and just go with it, pay attention to what comes up. That’s really important. Also be very specific with the animal; use the same movie techniques, use the same thing, be very specific about issues with animals. Don’t tap on, “even though I have this anxiety,” that’s too general.

Gene: Good!

Susanne: I tell everyone try it. The one thing is it can’t hurt but sometimes you can make an animal agitated if you found the core issue just like with people and things get a little worse. I always tell people the phrase to bring in with animals, which pertains to people as well but most especially with animals, is to bring in the phrase, “Even though this is going on, I choose to know I’m safe. Even though this is happening, I am absolutely safe and secure now” because the bottom line for animals is their safety.

Gene: Great! Well, thank you very much for your time.

Susanne: You are so welcome. There are lots and lots of stories out there and lots of examples. This is the least that we can do for animals. It’s so wonderful to finally have this fantastic method to address the emotional behaviors and challenges of animals. They give us so much love and unconditional love which we don’t get anywhere else. So it’s the very least that you can do. One other thing that I do want to say is another wonderful tip in working with animals is people who have trouble tapping on themselves, and we’re all guilty of that, sometimes we don’t take the time or we don’t feel comfortable tapping on our own issues, I tell people tap on your pet’s issues and set the intention that you’re working on your own issues. It’s a borrowing benefit. By working through the animal on yourself, you’ll be quite surprised to see how well that really works.

Gene: That’s a really great way to get around our own resistance. I like that a lot. Cool!

Susanne: Yeah! It is really quite fun.

Gene: Again, thank you very much for your time!

Susanne: You are so welcome Gene, thank you!