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Pod #619: Just feeling your emotions

July 10, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

Most of the time, when we sit down to tap, we are trying to create positive change.

We are trying to:

Release a negative emotion and create a positive one in its place
Clear resistance and limiting beliefs so that we can take consistent action
Heal a past trauma or story so that our present is not haunted by our past

I love every single one of these tapping outcomes!

But there are times when we cannot create profound change or facilitate deep healing.

Sometimes the best and healthiest course of action is simply to be fully present to the emotions we are feeling. And that is no bad thing.

This week in the podcast I explore the power of feeling the full depth and breadth of our emotions in the moment as we tap. It is one of my favorite ways to tap and something I do multiple times a week.

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Pod #618: Tapping in response to failure

July 3, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

The primary goal of our subconscious mind is to keep us safe.

To do this, it is constantly learning lessons from our experience. For example, after touching a hot stove a small child quickly learns quickly not to do that again.

This only becomes a problem when the subconscious mind learns the “wrong” lesson from an experience.

I frequently see this come up when working with my clients around their reluctance to take action. Their resistance usually stems from one of these lessons that is neither useful nor true.

The most common lesson learned is that failure is bad, painful, and must be avoided at all costs. At first glance, this seems reasonable…except that the solution proposed by the subconscious mind is not to try at all.

The logical fallacy is obvious: Not taking action doesn't keep us safe, it keeps us stuck.

In this week's podcast, I share two ways to release the resistance to taking action that is created by past failures.

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Pod #617: Overcoming the corrosive nature of the word “too”

June 26, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

Wanting to belong is a basic human desire.

For our ancestors thousands of years ago, belonging to a tribe was a matter of life and death. Without the protection of a tribe and its strength in numbers, death was a real prospect, so this desire to be accepted is part of our genetic heritage.

Even today, on a subconscious level, belonging equals safety and not belonging equals death, though intellectually we know that is no longer true in most situations.

We evaluate whether or not we belong in many ways.

Are we included in activities?
Do people ask us for our input and listen to our contributions?
Do others share and celebrate their success with us?
Are we given a warm welcome when we arrive?

Those are clear indications of invitation and inclusion, but there are more subtle signs too. When I am working with clients and students, one of my favorite ways to unearth times in their past when they felt excluded is to ask the question, “In the past, when were you told you were too much of something?”

These types of being “too something” include being too loud, too emotional, too closed off, too dramatic, too quiet, too serious…and the list goes on.

Being told that you are “too something” can bring up subconscious fears of being wrong, and therefore excluded from your tribe.

This week in the podcast we explore how and why the word “too” feels corrosive and as if it undermines our experience. I also share a tapping process you can use to transform those times when you were told you are “too something” into an asset and empowering resource.

If you have ever been told you are too something, then this is a must-listen.

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Pod #616 Tapping for peak performance w/ Erik Tait

June 19, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

Erik Tait is a world class magician and someone I love to see perform. He has spent over two decades performing as a juggler, standup comedian, and magician.

In 2020 Erik decided that he wanted to compete in the 2022 FISM, which is the world championship of magic. Even though he is comfortable on almost any stage in the world, in preparing for the competition he realized he had some deep-seated fears that were affecting his performance. His fear was so acute that it would cause his hand to shake uncontrollably, which is the last thing a card magician wants.

Erik's therapist taught him tapping and he credits it (and other tools) with helping him to overcome his fear and win third place in the competition. This made him only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades.

In this week's podcast, Erik shares how he was first introduced to tapping, how he used it to overcome his fear when preparing for FISM, and how he still uses it today.

Even if you never want to perform on stage, Erik's insights are valuable for anyone interested in improving their performance in any arena or endeavor.

ALSO, if you want to be blown away by world class magic, you can watch the act we talked about during the interview here: Erik Tait's FISM performance

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Guest: Erik Tait

Contact: web @ ErikTait.com; instagram @eriktait

About: Erik Tait has won awards for both standup comedy and magic throughout North America, appeared on Penn & Teller: Fool Us, and was the 2018 International Brotherhood of Magicians Gold Cups Close Up Competition Champion. He took home third place at FISM Quebec 2022, the world championships of magic, in the category of card magic. Erik is only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades. He graduated with honors from the prestigious Humber College Comedy Writing and Performance program, which means Erik can academically prove why he is hilarious. Beyond that, Erik is the only magician in the world with a degree in funny. He has put academic theory into practice on some of the most prestigious stages in the world, including The Magic Castle, Second City Toronto, and the Hollywood Improv. His client list has some of the most recognizable brands in the country including Honda, Macy’s, and Bark Box.

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Pod #615: Tapping for perfectionism

June 12, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

There is a natural human tendency to want to make sure everything is “exactly right” before we take action. That's because when everything is exactly right, we can be as sure as we can be of getting the results we desire.

Our subconscious mind takes this idea to the extreme because its key driver is the need to keep us safe. In addition, it has a tendency to overreact when things go wrong.

Here's how it goes:

The subconscious wants us to be safe
Any small thing that goes wrong is not only unsafe, the subconscious mind judges it as catastrophic
The easiest way to make we are safe is to do everything “perfectly”
As perfection is generally an unrealistic and unattainable goal, the subconscious holds us back from taking action while waiting for ideal circumstances that never come

On the surface, this logic makes sense except for the fact that things will never be perfect. That leads us to over-thinking and failing to take decisive action.

This week in the podcast I share a simple concept and how to incorporate this concept into your tapping so you can avoid getting caught in this unproductive trap.

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