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Pod #608: Why empaths struggle with boundaries and how to tap for stronger ones

April 24, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

Something I really love about the people I work with is their tendency to see the bigger world outside of themselves. They recognize the people in their lives who are struggling and in pain, and they also want to do something about it.

As wonderful as it is to want to help others, it can mean that we become known for being a helper, and the requests become increasingly frequent and demanding of our time and energy.

The next thing we know, we are helping everyone else to the point that we neglect our own needs and our lives, meaning we need to do the tough work of creating stronger boundaries.

If you are someone with an empathetic nature, creating and maintaining boundaries is even harder.

This week in the podcast, we explore how being a helper can turn into a full time job, how to create new boundaries, and why putting boundaries in place is particularly difficult for empaths.

We also spend time tapping to make it easier (even for empaths) to create boundaries.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Boundaries, empath, helper

Pod #607: The 4 Types of Resistance

April 17, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

For the 2024 Spring Energy Event I was asked to give a reflection on what I have learned in my personal and professional transformational journey.

For me, the measure of the value of transformation is seen in how our life is different. What do we believe that is different? How do we feel that is different? In what ways are we asking in new ways?

Because this has been my focus, I am supremely interested in the resistance to change. Even when we know the type of change we would like to make in our lives and how valuable that change is, we still don't change.

This led me to create a presentation where I shared the four basic root causes of our resistance to change as well as how to identify the story that is holding you back.

This week in the podcast I share the full presentation so you can learn along with everyone who attends live.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Resistance, SAWD, SEE

Pod #606: Your Tapping Questions Answered

April 11, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

One of my favorite ways to learn is by listening to the questions others ask.

When I am asking questions I am bringing my experience and preconceived notions to the questions. This is a useful way to learn, but sometimes I am too close to my own experience to ask the most useful question.

When someone else is asking a question they are often asking a question I never would have thought of. This gives me a chance to ponder the questions from a distance which allows me to hear the answer in a new way.

One of my favorite parts of the Authentic Action Academy is the Office Hour sessions. This is when my students have the chance to .ask me anything

They ask questions about what has been taught in class, how to get more out of their own tapping practice, and they even bring tapping requests.

My favorite part of these sessions is seeing all the comments in the chat box from what everyone else is learning through the process.

In March I hosted an Ask Me Anything session, where anyone who showed up could do exactly that…ask me anything about tapping.

The session was recorded and I pulled 4 questions which I thought you would also enjoy learning from and tapping along to.

The four topics I have pulled for you are:

  • Clearing limiting beliefs around our ability to be successful
  • Finding and clearing the root cause of emotional eating
  • How to deal with the grief around the death of someone who hurt us
  • How do I know if I should be tapping on the negative or positive when trying to clear and issue

I know you will learn a lot from this conversation.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: AMA, Grief, Resistance, Weight

Pod #605: How to tap when your goals are getting in your way

April 3, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

Goals are a powerful tool in helping us to move forward. They give us clear direction, they help to create clarity for our best next steps, and they serve as a measuring stick for us to evaluate the action we take.

Goals are great!

Except when they aren't.

Sometimes goals can feel like a constraint, homework, or something we “have to do”. When this happens, they become more of a hindrance than a help.

This week in the podcast we explore how to create a goal, as well as a healthy relationship to that goal, based on what we are trying to achieve and our personal context.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Action, Goals

Pod #604: How to tap when you let yourself down

March 27, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

One of the phrases I spend a lot of time tapping on with my clients is the idea that “time is a zero sum game”. What I mean by this phrase is that if you are doing one thing, you can't be doing anything else.

It means that when we choose to do something, we are choosing not to do anything else.

Because this is the case, it is so easy to judge ourselves harshly as we look at our past choices. When we look to our past, not only are we able to see how we invested our time, we also see all the actions we could have taken…but did not.

I know I can be really hard on myself and my past choices when I feel I have squandered time and opportunities. 

In the last week I found myself feeling deeply disappointed with my past choices. Normally, this leads to frustration for not taking the best action, and sadness over the wasted opportunities.

For the first time in ages I wasn't just frustrated or saddened, I was mad. And not just a bit mad…I was raging.

The more I thought about my mistakes, the madder I felt. In this week's podcast I share with you what happened and how I responded.

Not only do I explain my approach, I also do a fair bit of tapping. I hope you find this approach useful. 

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Anger, Disappointment, Resistance, self-esteem

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Meet Gene Monterastelli

Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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