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Pod #617: Overcoming the corrosive nature of the word “too”

June 26, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

Wanting to belong is a basic human desire.

For our ancestors thousands of years ago, belonging to a tribe was a matter of life and death. Without the protection of a tribe and its strength in numbers, death was a real prospect, so this desire to be accepted is part of our genetic heritage.

Even today, on a subconscious level, belonging equals safety and not belonging equals death, though intellectually we know that is no longer true in most situations.

We evaluate whether or not we belong in many ways.

  • Are we included in activities?
  • Do people ask us for our input and listen to our contributions?
  • Do others share and celebrate their success with us?
  • Are we given a warm welcome when we arrive?

Those are clear indications of invitation and inclusion, but there are more subtle signs too. When I am working with clients and students, one of my favorite ways to unearth times in their past when they felt excluded is to ask the question, “In the past, when were you told you were too much of something?”

These types of being “too something” include being too loud, too emotional, too closed off, too dramatic, too quiet, too serious…and the list goes on.

Being told that you are “too something” can bring up subconscious fears of being wrong, and therefore excluded from your tribe.

This week in the podcast we explore how and why the word “too” feels corrosive and as if it undermines our experience. I also share a tapping process you can use to transform those times when you were told you are “too something” into an asset and empowering resource.

If you have ever been told you are too something, then this is a must-listen.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Childhood, insecurity, too

Pod #616 Tapping for peak performance w/ Erik Tait

June 19, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

Erik Tait is a world class magician and someone I love to see perform. He has spent over two decades performing as a juggler, standup comedian, and magician.

In 2020 Erik decided that he wanted to compete in the 2022 FISM, which is the world championship of magic. Even though he is comfortable on almost any stage in the world, in preparing for the competition he realized he had some deep-seated fears that were affecting his performance. His fear was so acute that it would cause his hand to shake uncontrollably, which is the last thing a card magician wants.

Erik's therapist taught him tapping and he credits it (and other tools) with helping him to overcome his fear and win third place in the competition. This made him only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades.

In this week's podcast, Erik shares how he was first introduced to tapping, how he used it to overcome his fear when preparing for FISM, and how he still uses it today.

Even if you never want to perform on stage, Erik's insights are valuable for anyone interested in improving their performance in any arena or endeavor.

ALSO, if you want to be blown away by world class magic, you can watch the act we talked about during the interview here: Erik Tait's FISM performance

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Guest: Erik Tait

Contact: web @ ErikTait.com; instagram @eriktait

About: Erik Tait has won awards for both standup comedy and magic throughout North America, appeared on Penn & Teller: Fool Us, and was the 2018 International Brotherhood of Magicians Gold Cups Close Up Competition Champion. He took home third place at FISM Quebec 2022, the world championships of magic, in the category of card magic. Erik is only the fourth American to accomplish this, and the first American to stand on the podium for card magic in two decades. He graduated with honors from the prestigious Humber College Comedy Writing and Performance program, which means Erik can academically prove why he is hilarious. Beyond that, Erik is the only magician in the world with a degree in funny. He has put academic theory into practice on some of the most prestigious stages in the world, including The Magic Castle, Second City Toronto, and the Hollywood Improv. His client list has some of the most recognizable brands in the country including Honda, Macy’s, and Bark Box.

Watch a video version on YouTube

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Erik Tait, Fear, Performance

Pod #615: Tapping for perfectionism

June 12, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

There is a natural human tendency to want to make sure everything is “exactly right” before we take action. That's because when everything is exactly right, we can be as sure as we can be of getting the results we desire.

Our subconscious mind takes this idea to the extreme because its key driver is the need to keep us safe. In addition, it has a tendency to overreact when things go wrong.

Here's how it goes:

  • The subconscious wants us to be safe
  • Any small thing that goes wrong is not only unsafe, the subconscious mind judges it as catastrophic
  • The easiest way to make we are safe is to do everything “perfectly”
  • As perfection is generally an unrealistic and unattainable goal, the subconscious holds us back from taking action while waiting for ideal circumstances that never come

On the surface, this logic makes sense except for the fact that things will never be perfect. That leads us to over-thinking and failing to take decisive action.

This week in the podcast I share a simple concept and how to incorporate this concept into your tapping so you can avoid getting caught in this unproductive trap.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Action, perfectionist, Subconscious

Pod #614: What the novel Dune taught me about fear AND how that impacts my tapping

June 5, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

One of the reasons I love art is because it gives us the ability to communicate meaning in ways that we aren't always able to do when simply talking about our lives.

We have all heard the expression that “a picture is worth a thousand words”, which is true, and it is so much more than just that.

The genres of science fiction and fantasy offer us the opportunity to explore the human experience without the political and cultural baggage of our modern world.

Recently, I have been listening to the audiobook version of Frank Herbert's Dune. One of the underlying themes is how our emotions impact our ability to make good choices in moments of crisis.

There is one particular litany that the main character Paul recites multiple times in the story to calm his fear in the moment.

In this week's podcast I explore how that litany and Paul's journey to conquer his fear has impacted my tapping. I even built a tapping script based on the book's text.

Support the podcast! Http://tappingqanda.com/support

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Watch a video version on YouTube

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Fear

Pod #613: Tapping to create a new state

May 29, 2024 by Gene Monterastelli

One of the reasons I love tapping so much is that it can be used for so many types of issues. It can be used to:

  • Provide emotional first aid
  • Break down a limiting belief
  • Heal a past memory
  • Manage pain
  • Clear a substance sensitivity

For me, it is super important to know why I am tapping in each given moment. Am I simply trying to calm myself when I feel overwhelmed so I can take action OR am I dealing with emotional resistance to taking action because I fear failing at my next task?

When I know what I am trying to accomplish, it makes it easier for me to stay on track so I can better evaluate my progress to see if I need to keep tapping on the issue.

Over the last few months, I have come to realize there are two different types of tapping issues that I had conflated into a single issue. I was approaching how I feel in a moment and what state I am in as if they are the same thing.

These are two distinct areas to tap for, with each having a different approach and different goals from the tapping itself.

In this week's podcast, I break down the difference between tapping for an emotion versus tapping to change your state, when you should be tapping for each, and how to tap to change your state.

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Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Emotional First Aid, Emotions, state

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Meet Gene Monterastelli

Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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