photo by Svante Adermark
My life is a little crazy right now. From the outside it looks like I am being really brave in the midst of all the craziness.
I am in the process of moving from Baltimore to Brooklyn, NY. I am uprooting my life to move to the fourth largest metropolitan area in the world, where housing rentals are snapped up in a matter of hours, not days. At the moment I know I am certainly moving but I have no clue where I am moving to.
At the same time I am working on some new things that I will be offering on the website which are the most personal things I have ever shared. As those of you who are part of MyEFTYear.com know, one of my goals for this year was to work on my issues around dating and romantic relationships.
About six weeks ago I came up with a list of 32 fears that I have around relationships. Not only have I been tapping for these issues, I have been videoing myself tapping for each issue. Sometime later this summer I plan to make those videos available for you to tap along to too.
Oh boy are those videos raw and messy. Because of their honesty they are more than a bit embarrassing! And there is the little issue of how emotional I have become in a few of them.
“You really are in the brave space right now!!”
That is what one of my friends wrote while we were chatting online: “You really are in the brave space right now!!”
And the truth is, I’m not really in a brave space right now.
Instead I am having moments of bravery and I am taking full advantage of those moments and acting.
For example, one of the reasons the move to NY is happening right now is because I had to let the property managers of my building know this week if I was going to renew my lease. Had I taken no action, then my lease would have renewed automatically.
To let them know I was leaving I had to notify them in an official letter via certified mail.
I wrote the letter, put the letter in an envelope, and stuck the postage on the outside.
AND then I had a hard time breathing. My head was filled with: “What if I can’t find a place to live? What if I can’t really afford the move? Am I going to wreck the relationships I have with my friends here in Baltimore by leaving? Oh crap…moving is hard!”
So I started to tap. I calmed myself down. I walked to the postal box and dropped the letter in.
Fifteen minutes later I was gripped with panic again.
BUT that was OK because the process of moving had started.
The Fear Doesn’t Have To Be Completely Gone To Act
About eight times a day I feel some (or a lot) of anxiety about the move. But just because the worry is still there doesn’t mean that I have to stop making progress. With each passing day I’m progressing and crossing more items off my moving todo list.
I haven’t had to be brave every moment. I haven’t had to eliminate the fears of everything going wrong.
I have only had to keep the fear at bay long enough to take an action that moves me closer to my goal. Once an action is taken it sets off a chain reaction of events to which I respond.
I now have to move out of my place in Baltimore, which is pushing me forward to take more action.
You Don’t Have To Tap It All The Way To A Zero
A lot of tappers make the mistake of thinking that they have to tap an issue completely away. They think that if they haven’t erased the issue with tapping then it isn’t done and they can’t act until it is.
We only need to tap our way to being able to take the next step towards our goal. We might have to start tapping the moment we have completed that step, but what is more important is the fact that we have acted and are closer to our goal.
When tapping our goal isn’t to be anxiety free (though that would be great). Our goal is to make it possible for us to take the action we need to take to progress.
Sometimes those actions might be made in a state of fear, but they are being taken.
You don’t need to tap your way to total relief.
You just need to tap to action.
(And if you need it you can start tapping again.)