Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Journaling

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photo by Luigi Anzivino

A number of studies have indicated that the simple act of writing down what we are thinking and worrying about takes some of the charge out of the emotions. Dragging the thoughts into the light of day helps us to see what we are overreacting to and what is truly going on.

When we leave our thoughts alone in our head they have a tendency to be magnified. The mind serves as an echo chamber (especially in the middle of the night). Each time a thought or worry is bounced around it get stronger and stronger. We can combine Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) with a simple task to take the charge out of our thoughts and feelings.

TYou simply set some time aside to write down everything that is bouncing around in your mind. Take the self-talk that is in your head and just let it flow. You don’t need any special journal to do this. You can even type it on the computer.

After you have done this you don’t have to save your writing. You can throw it away or just erase the computer file. The important task is to get it out of your head where it tends to be amplified.

I like to add EFT to this activity to continue to clean up the emotional charge. I do this is by opening a blank document on my computer and just letting my fingers go. I type as fast as the thoughts come to me. As this happens I start to see the things I am overreacting to, which takes some of the charge away.

After I finish typing I go back and re-read everything I have just written, tapping from point to point as I read. The emotions that have not been completely cleared out rise again while I read my own words. By tapping while reading my thought processes, I clear out even more of the emotional charge.

For the areas that have a great deal of emotional charge I read the passage two or three times while tapping.

In the process I tune in to the problem without worrying about exactly the right words to say because I’ve already produced them.

When I am done tapping I delete the file.

Our Emotions Are Illogical And Make No Sense

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Sometimes the healing process is hampered by our logical mind. We get to the point where we can name our issues, but they make no sense at all. We can logically see how things are different from what our emotions believe. This can be a very difficult point in the healing process because we realize that we can’t talk ourselves out of misguided or wrong emotional beliefs. Because we can’t logic our way out of something, we don’t know where to turn and can feel helpless in the healing process.

I am sure I drive my clients crazy be telling them over and over again, “Just because it isn’t true doesn’t mean that it isn’t real.” When we encounter these emotions that are based in ridiculous notions it is important that we acknowledge this fact.

I love the fact that Gary Craig (http://emofree.com) has always described these as the comedies of our mind. They are comedies because once they are dragged out into the light of day we can see how ridiculous they are.

But, just because they are ridiculous to us logically doesn’t mean that they aren’t still very powerful. It’s frequently helpful to allow ourselves to be comfortable with the fact that these beliefs make no sense at all.

By using Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) on the fact that our emotional beliefs exist to protect us, we gain peace and clarity about how best to take care of ourselves. When we are easy about this fact it allows us to do the healing work we want to do without the frustration of it making no sense.

The tapping patter could look like this:

These thoughts and feelings make no sense at all…logically I can clearly see how my emotions are misinterpreting the situation, myself, and the world…I know these emotions and beliefs exist because there is a part of me that is trying to take care of me…this part of me is working very hard to make sure I stay safe and whole…it just happens to be doing it in a way that is not good for me in the short or long term…I am thankful that there are parts of me willing to do whatever they can to protect me…I affirm the work of this part of me…I don’t want to fight with this illogical part of myself…because we have the same goal…getting me to heal…I now ask this part to work with me in a more effective way to help my healing…I know from time to time that I have illogical emotional thoughts…because emotions are illogical by their very nature…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I heal these illogical thoughts and emotions.
[How to use these tapping phrases]

One Issue That Is Really Three or Four Issues

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I am dealing with homework issues and tantrums with my 8 year-old daughter. Parenting her really takes all my energy. It seems I spend more time battling with her than enjoying her. How can I approach this issue?


photo by Kathryn Rotondo

Sometimes when we face a situation it looks like one issue, because it is one situation, but in reality it’s more than one issue. At first it might seem daunting to break the issue down into smaller parts because it appears to require more work, but I have found it helpful to break the situation down into smaller, more manageable parts.

Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) is even more powerful when we are dealing with small partsbecause we see progress faster, and that progress encourages us to do more.

Here is a very simple way to break down a problem into smaller issues. I will use the example in the question to demonstrate each part.

What in the situation is worthy of giving thanks for?
I love starting from a point of view of gratitude. Often when we are dealing with what we don’t like in a situation we forget all of the blessings that are present.

In this case the question clearly states the parent actively wants to appreciate the daughter. So the first thing I would do is tap on all the wonderful things about the daughter and spending time with the daughter:

I am really blessed to have such a wonderful daughter…she has so much spirit…I know the time we have together is short…she will be grown up before I know it…with that in mind I am going to savor each moment I have with her…even those moments of struggle are a blessing…because we get to share them together…I give myself permission to enjoy this moment and my daughter…even in the middle of this struggle…I am lucky and blessed to have my daughter

Simply naming the good in a situation lessens the emotional charge and gives us a clearer vision of what the root issue(s) is.

What are the emotions I am dealing with?
The second step is to consider, and list, all of the emotions you are feeling. In this case the list might look like:

  • Frustrated she is not doing what she needs to do
  • Tired of all the battling
  • Wanting to do fun stuff with my daughter
  • Wishing I was doing something else I enjoyed

And the list could go on
After you have created the list, ask why you feel that way. This will give you insight on what to tap on. Take each emotion one at a time and tap on them. Don’t be surprised that as you clear one emotion you clear the others as well.

Are there other actors in the situation that I could surrogately tap for?
The last step is to look at the other actors in the situation. Are there issues you could tap on for them? In this case the daughter is obviously resisting doing the homework. As a parent you would have special insight into why she might be resisting. She could be fearing failure, just being 8 and wanting to do something else, not enjoying it because she is not very good at it, or is worried she is going to fail and let you down.

Just take a deep breath and tune into the other actors. Guess why they are having such a hard time in the situation. You don’t need the special connection of a parent and child to do this. When we put aside our own emotional baggage about a situation it’s easy to guess what others are struggling with.

Once you have a guess about what the other person is struggling with, you can spend some time tapping on those issues for them. This will do two things. First, it will give you perspective on what they are going through. This might change your understanding of the situation, clearing some of your emotional charge. Second, it might make a difference in their life, the way surrogate tapping has been reported to make changes for others.

The Process
The steps aren’t very complicated. When you are facing a big problem break it down into three chucks.

  • What can I be thankful for?
  • What am I struggling with?
  • What might they be struggling with?

By doing this we will resolve the issues in smaller and more manageable pieces.

Getting Back To That Session That Was So Powerful

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photo by Meredith Farmer

Occasionally we have unusually powerful Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) sessions. When we sit down later to tap, we wish there was a way to recapture the healing aspects of that session or continue to work on those issues. It is much easier to do than one would think.

There are times when I can relate to the issue my client is bringing up, so while they tap on their issue, I get to tap on my issue at the same time. There are other times when I can feel in my body what my client is feeling and we get a chance to tap on the issue together.

Recently I had an amazing experience with a client that was completely different from either of these. We were about 40 minutes into a session and were tapping on an issue that I had no particular relationship to. Very suddenly, I started yawning uncontrollably.
In this sort of energy work yawning is generally a sign of releasing energetic blocks, but I have never been in a circumstance where I yawned 30 times in a row. It was amazing, and afterwards I felt great. A huge burden that I had been working on for a number of weeks was released.

A few days later I wanted to tap back into this experience because I knew more needed to be done. As I tapped I just started thinking about the previous session, and once again the yawns starting coming fast and furious.

I was able to tap for three straight minutes thinking only of that last session, and the yawns didn’t stop. At that point I had finished the work I could do at that time.

As I thought about this experience, it wasn’t a great surprise. One of the things we do in hypnosis work is place a post-hypnotic suggestion allowing us to return instantly to the issue we are working on. This prevents us from having to do all the work of getting to the same point in the next session.

This works equally well with EFT. If you have worked on an issue before and had a great level of success, all you need do is tune into that tapping session and start tapping again. You can pick up right where you left off working before.

Need To Know How We Got Here

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To work down a path of healing we need to take stock of where we are and what issues we would like to heal. One of the questions that come to mind when we do this is, “How did I get here?” This can become a consuming question, to the point that it distracts us from the healing process itself.

It is a natural question to ask. First, we may think that it will help us to heal our way out of the current feeling or circumstance. Second, we may believe we need to know how we got here to insure that we never end up here again.

While it can be important to the healing process to understand how we got here and how we can avoid ending up here again, it’s much more important that we understand where we are and where we would like to be.

I think sometimes it’s a disservice to clients when we harp on the memories that have created the past situation. Yes, it can be very helpful to understand these aspects of an emotional charge, but plenty of clients have felt hopeless because they couldn’t bring up past memories.

Also, we can be mistaken about the original cause of an emotional charge.

Instead, if we are easy with ourselves about how our problem came to be, we can freely enter the emotions of the moment which will lead us to the true root cause.

I find it very helpful to tap on the idea of not needing to know how we got here before going after a big problem. Then we are only dealing with the essential issue rather than worrying about knowing why.

The tapping patter could look something like this:

There is a part of me that really wants to know how I got into this situation…it feels I need this information for the healing…it believes I need this information to protect myself from ending up in this place again…while it can be very helpful to know this information…it is not essential to the healing process…I can completely heal my current emotions without knowing a single thing about how I got here…it is possible to use the emotions I am feeling right now as the information to do the tapping…as I work on how I feel right now it is possible that memories and other information about how I ended up here will come up…if this happens it will provide more chances for me to heal…if it doesn’t happen that’s okay as well because I have all the information I need…I give myself permission to be easy with myself in this process…it is much more important to know where I am and where I am going…than to know how I got here. [How to use these tapping phrases]

I found myself being grounded and present every 15 minutes all day long!

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A Chime For The Soul
I spent the first three days of the New Year on retreat. It was everything a retreat is supposed to be. It was restful. It was challenging. It helped me to heal and gave me insight for more healing in the future.

We spent a great deal of time in silence. Each day began with a 20-minute contemplative sit. We were given two or three minutes of silence to quiet ourselves before each presentation and to absorb what we’d just heard after presentations.

Each of these silences started and ended with the striking of a chime. The simple pure sound pierced the air.

As the retreat wore on and we spent more time in silence the more I longed for these silences. Each time I heard that simple chime my body/mind/spirit knew exactly what we were doing — and loved it.

Taking It Home
The hard part of a retreat is going home and integrating this peace, reflection, and grounding into your daily life.

As we waited for the closing session to begin I was thinking of how I could bring this sense of grounding into my daily life.

The first thing that came to mind was that chime. I thought, “I could buy one of the chimes and use it before and after my own silent time.” But I immediately saw the flaw in this plan. I’d end up buying the chime and I might use it once or twice, but eventually it would end up as one more knickknack on my shelf.

Then my mind wandered to prayer traditions throughout the world that use the bell as a call to prayer.

The Annoyed Monk
A friend of mine is a monk who lives in an abbey with other members of his community. Several times a day the bells ring and they are required to drop whatever they’re doing to join the community in prayers.

He explained,

“At first, it can be really frustrating.  You can be right in the middle of an important task and you have to just stop.  It is the worst when you are really in the grove.  It can make it really hard to come to the chapel with a prayerful mind set when you are frustrated like this.

“But something happens when they ring the bells again calling us to prayer, you close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and bring yourself present to the Glory of God in that moment.

“The frustration just melts away because you are grounded in the bigger picture.  You realize it is good that you have been pulled away form the daily tasks for a few minutes to put it all in perspective.”

My Call To Silence
That is what I wanted in my daily life, but I didn’t want to move into a hermitage to get it.

Since I spend most of my day sitting in front of my computer I decided to write a computer program that would chime every 15 minutes as a reminder to re-ground myself.

At first, like my monk friend, I was a little annoyed by the constant interruption. But I decided that I needed to give it an honest effort.

Initially I was very strict with myself. The moment the chime rang I stopped what I was doing, even if I was in the middle of typing a sentence or a word. I‘d close my eyes and do a simple grounding exercise that took less than sixty seconds.

The results were amazing!

Being Fully Present
In those few short seconds of taking pause I was able to refocus.

I found myself clearing stress that I wasn’t even aware was there.

I was able to put the tasks at hand in perspective.

I was more productive and focused in my work, and at the end of the day I felt great, not exhausted.

Then My Friends Ask For One
I told my friend Christi, who was on the same retreat, about the software program I had created and she said, “I WANT ONE!”

Within an hour of sending her the program she sent an e-mail saying:

“The first time the chime went off it was a little surprising because I had my speakers turned up too loud, but now I love this.  It is such a great way to break up the day.  I feel so much more grounded already.”

“Hey, I want one too!”
The more people I told about the program the more people were asking for one as well.

Before sharing it with others I decided to improve the program. I recorded a much more peaceful chime. I also made it so you can set whatever interval of time you would like between chimes.

Since this is a brand new product I am offering it for over 50% off the eventual price.

For the next two weeks I’m offering the Breathe Easy Reminder software for only $7.45. (The regular retail price will be $14.95).

(And yes there is a both Mac and PC versions.)

But that's not all!
If you order as part of this special introduction I have three free amazing free bonuses:

Bonus #1: 60 Seconds To Presence: 9 Exercises & Meditations That Can Be Done Anytime, Anywhere In Under 60 Seconds ebook ($17.49 value)

It is one thing to take pause every fifteen minutes through out your day, but it is something completely different to use that time to really ground yourself.  When you ground yourself you are less stressed and more present to the moment. Grounding yourself is not a complicated task.  You can do it in less than sixty seconds.

In this book I teach you 9 different grounding activities you can do in less than 60 seconds. This book contains my favorite techniques using EFT, Qi Gong, guided imagery, breathing exercises, and movement meditation.  You can choose a new one each day or find the one you respond to best to use over and over again.

Bonus #2: Anchoring Relaxation audio ($13.77 value)

There is a very powerful tool in NeuroLinguistic Psychology (NLP) called “anchoring”.  When using anchoring you are able to attach one emotion or motivation to another piece of stimulus.  In stop smoking work the feeling of “I am now a non-smoker and will be a non-smoker for the rest of my life” is anchored to the color red.  When the person sees the color red it reinforces this belief.  (Red is everywhere so they are re-reminding themselves of this over and over again all day!)

In this very special audio the feeling of relaxation and healing is anchored to the sound of the chime in the Breath Easy Reminder program.  After listening to this audio your body will be automatically disposed to the feeling of relaxation at the sound of the chime.  As the program runs through out the day on your computer you will be relaxed over and over again.

Bonus #3: Total Relaxation audio ($13.77 value)

In this audio I use my 10 favorite relaxation images and stack them one on top of another.  By doing this it takes advantage of a phenomena we refer to in hypnosis as “compounding”.  When you follow a suggestion of relaxation by another suggestion it multiplies the first.

By building one on top of the next it multiplies the relaxing and stress relieving power.

Look at what Jay wrote me after using the audio:

“The Total Relaxation audio is so powerful it took me two weeks before I knew how it ended because it put me right to sleep each time I listened to it.”

This audio is a prefect way to end a hectic day.

That is $45.03 in bonus!
Each of the bonuses by themselves are worth more than double the special introductory price of the software.

The three bonuses combined are worth more than SIX times the price of the software.

100% Iron Clad Guarantee!
I have seen the power of this little program.  As I said above I wrote the program at first just for myself.  I was looking for a way to create some grounding in my own life.

This has worked beyond my wildest dreams.

If you don't find that this program doesn't make you more grounded and calm as you sit at your computer I will refund your money AND you can keep the three bonuses as my gift to you just for trying it out.

You have nothing to loose but your stress and lack of grounding!
The program is so easy to use that including download time you will have it up in running in less than 2 minutes.

You know you want to bring peace and grounding to your day.

Bring a moment of peace right now!

And 15 minutes after that…

And 15 minutes after that…

(You get the idea!)

Order now!

http://eftqanda.com/store/remind.html

Peace and grounding,

Gene

PS: Image what it is going to be like to have your day punctured with peace, relaxations, and the feeling of being grounded.  You can have that feeling right now…and it takes less than sixty seconds to feel it.

Let The Subconscious Fill in the Blanks

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photo by Adam Holloway

The most common reason my clients don’t do their EFT homework between sessions is, “I don’t know what words to say. When I tap with you it is so easy. When I’m on my own I get stuck.” But there is a way for the subconscious to solve this problem for you.

The reason may be lack of confidence, worry that you’ll do it wrong, worry that you’ll waste time, or that you simply don’t know how to approach the issue. At other times we may have a hard time saying some of the phrases out loud because they seem so ludicrous.

For example people who have a hard time believing they are worthy of being loved are not going to feel comfortable saying, “I deserve love, happiness, and well-being” because they really don’tt believe it.

It can be equally hard to say out loud (or even recognize) why we feel this way.

Rob Sherwin (http://www.tap4health.com/) has come up with a brilliant way to deal with the situation where we don’t know why we feel some way or it’s really hard for us to say out loud. His recommendation is to simply let the subconscious mind fill in the blanks for us. We could tap on something like this:

I don’t deserve healing because…
I don’t deserve to heal if it means…
I don’t know how to heal because…
If I heal then I will be stuck with…
I can’t heal because…
I am afraid to heal because…
I don’t want to heal because…
I don’t believe I deserve happiness because…
I don’t believe I deserve success because…
I don’t believe I deserve love because…

Overwhelmed By How Much Healing I Need

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In the article Stages of Awareness I talk about how we move through the healing process. In stage one we are going through life unaware of what is going on internally. In stage two we start the investigation process. This stage can be the most difficult because we’ve taken our blinders off. We feel as if we have just added a whole new set of problems and issues.

The moment we start investigating what’s going on in our lives we become aware of many areas of healing that we had been blind to before. We can be overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and hopelessness.

We can logically know that we have just opened our eyes to what was already there, but that doesn’t take the feelings of overwhelm or frustration away. I have found it very helpful to use Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) on these feelings of overwhelm and frustration before doing the healing itself. Once the overwhelmed feeling is resolved, we are free to cope with the current issue.

To do this you could tap on something like this:

Right now I am dealing with more issues than I know what to do with…I don’t even know where to start…even if I take care of some of it, there is going to be so much more for me to deal with…I feel like I am trying to empty a bathtub with a thimble…I choose to know this is part of the healing process…in the beginning I feel like there is more than I can deal with…in the beginning it feels like I have added a bunch of new issues…but I really know these issues have always been here…I have just become aware of them…I give myself permission to know that I can take these issues one at a time… every issue I heal is going to make the next issue easier…it will be like a snowball rolling down a hill…each healing with happen easier and easier…faster and faster…I know it is only going to get better from here…as I come to terms with all that I need to heal…the easier it will be to heal…I give myself permission to do this healing at a rate that is best for my body…I forgive myself for feeling overwhelmed…it is natural to be overwhelmed by what I am dealing with…I choose to take the next step forward now. [How to use these tapping phrases]

Physical Pain From Injury

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I am very aware that there are times when we have pain in the body that has an emotional base. There are also times when we just hurt ourselves. I just twisted my knee and it still hurts a few days later. Do I tap in the same way with this sort of physical pain as I would for pain that is emotionally-based?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) is a very powerful tool when dealing with physical pain. When I first teach EFT/EvEFT I generally start with physical pain for two reasons. First, EFT/EvEFT works so well, and second, it’s hard to deny the results. (The evaporation of emotional pain is easier for a new EFTer to dismiss, giving credit to factors other than EFT.)

When we are dealing with pain of any sort we need to remember that pain is nothing more than a signal. It’s one of the physical body’s ways of getting our attention and communicating information. Our shoulders can ache from stress because our body is telling us we need to slow down and take care of ourselves. Our ankle will hurt after an injury to tell us we should give it time to heal and avoid walking on it too much.

Even though EFT/EvEFT is so powerful at reducing (and/or eliminating) the pain we feel, we should make sure we are not just taking pain away without first listening to the information the body is trying to communicate to us. There is a famous story of a hypnotist who used hypnosis to numb the pain he was feeling in his chest. The pain was related to a heart attack. Since he only eliminated the pain and didn’t respond to what the pain was communicating — the need for medical care — he died from the heart attack.

Regardless of the source of the pain, we can use EFT/EvEFT for both physical and emotional aspects of the pain. Let’s look at how we can use EFT/EvEFT for a physical pain that has come from an injury and is not emotionally based.

1) The Physical Pain
Regardless of the source of the physical pain I generally approach physical pain the same way. While tapping from point to point I tune into the following (in no particular order):

  • Is there a lesson the pain wants me to learn
  • What is the shape?
  • What is the color?
  • What is size?
  • If I held the pain in my hand, how much would it weigh?
  • If I was going to make a model of the pain to show my friends what it is like, what substance would I use?
  • If the pain could say something, what would it say?
  • I trace the geography the physical pain with my mind

After I have done this for a round or two of tapping I tune back in to the SUDs level to see how it feels. If more work is needed, I repeat the process.

2) The Emotional Aspect of the Physical Pain
On the surface it might not seem obvious that there is work we can do with emotions of the physical pain. Just because the pain itself was caused by an injury, it doesn’t mean we don’t have emotions around the issue of having the pain or injury.

I am a firm believer that if we have negative emotions around a wound (physical or emotional) we slow down or hinder the healing process. When we have a physical pain it’s a good idea to spend time dealing with emotions about the pain. Some examples of the areas you can investigate are:

  • How you were injured: Are you mad at yourself for how you got injured?  Are you mad at someone else for how you got injured?
  • How the injury is effecting you: Are you having a hard time doing the things you want to do and how is this effecting you emotionally?
  • How people are responding to the injury: Are people trying to baby you?  Are people not giving you enough attention?
  • How the body is healing and responding to treatment: Is the body not healing fast enough for you and is this causing frustration?

As you can see, many emotions can arise from an injury that wasn’t emotionally induced. Dealing with these issues will help speed the healing process, or more accurately get out of the way of the natural healing process of the body.

The beautiful thing about EFT/EvEFT is it allows us to approach problems from many different angles. We can approach them through our minds (thoughts and memories), our bodies (physical sensations), and our spirits (emotions). For each issue you will find at least one of these entry points helpful. You will probably heal faster when you explore more than one.

Ev/EFT – Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques

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Why do you use the term Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT) instead of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)?

When Gary Craig introduced EFT to the world I believe he did a very smart thing when chose the name. He called it Emotional Freedom Techniques. Most people don’t notice the “s” on the end of the word techniques, because it seems like one technique.

As far as I can tell Gary did this because he knew EFT would grow and change over time, as it indeed has. Part of the reason Gary has shared EFT with what he calls an “open hand” was to allow this amazing growth to occur easily.

But this has not always been a good thing.  Here are Gary's words:

Over the years, I’ve discovered that this open-handed distribution system has obvious benefits for everyone – but has many significant challenges as well. First, with so many diverse attitudes and abilities among the EFT Community, EFT has been spread in an inconsistent manner. While some of this has simply reflected individual variations and personalities of the presenters, some of it, unfortunately, has been downright unethical or embarrassing. These inconsistencies, if left unattended, will tend to erode EFT’s credibility in the world.

Accordingly, if we are going to maximize the EFT experience for the ultimate good of all, there are some common sense ethical items that need to be observed…In essence, I wish to grant the freedom to ethically practice EFT, give workshops and create organizations, books, films, etc. so long as it is made clear to the public that your EFT activity represents YOUR own ideas, angles, versions, etc. and not necessarily those of Gary Craig or EFT.”

That is why I use the term EvEFT. It represents the fact that this tool set has evolved past Gary’s work and these are my own ideas. That is not to say my ideas are better. They are just my own.

Tapping/EFT Q & A is provided as a public courtesy to help expand the use of EFT in the world. While Gary Craig and EFT encourage such efforts, they cannot evaluate or endorse the multitudes of them that exist. Thus this website represents the good faith ideas of its founders but not necessarily those of Gary Craig or EFT.

EFT is a very flexible improvement tool that can be used for just about everything. I am using my version of it here and have had extraordinary results and urge you to contact me for more. The original version and complete training can be found at http://www.emofree.com

I Don’t Deserve Healing

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One of the biggest struggles in our process of growing and changing is the fact that we don’t often believe that we deserve healing.

We believe:

  • We have too much
  • We have done too much wrong
  • It is too late

Sometimes it is just a deep ache that we can’t explain, a feeling that we don’t deserve any better.

I often use the image of a brick wall when dealing with this general sense of not deserving better. We are standing on one side of it, and our healing is on the other side. As long as we believe we don’t deserve healing we won’t get past the wall.

When we don’t know the root cause of the feeling it can be hard for us to approach because we are unsure where to begin or what to say. In these cases I imagine using Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) like a hammer and chisel. We might not be able to take the whole wall down in one tapping session, but bit by bit we can make progress.

Here is some sample tapping patter you could use:

There is part of me that doesn’t believe I am worthy of healing…there is a part of me that doesn’t believe I deserve any better…for some reason this part that doesn’t believe I deserve this is trying to protect me…it truly believes this protection is in my best interest…this part of me is working very hard to protect me, but it is doing it in a way that is not helpful for me in the short or long term…I recognize this part of me that is trying to keep me safe…I know this part of me is working hard…I thank this part of me for working so hard…even if it is preventing my healing…I honor the fact that this part of me wants what is best for me…I give this part of me permission to let its guard down…it no longer has to work so hard…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve to heal…as I say those phrases there is a part of me that recoils at this thought…even though part of me doesn’t believe this, there is a part of me that knows it is true…right now I tune into the part of me that knows I deserve to heal…the part of me that knows I deserve better…it might be very deep down inside…it might be a very long time since this part of my being has been accessed…but it is there…right now I speak light and love to the part of me that knows I deserve love…to the part of me that knows I deserve healing…I deserve love…I deserve healing…I deserve better…whatever part of me is blocking this thought and idea, I let go of it right now…I see and feel the blocks to knowing I deserve healing melting away a little at a time…with each breath and each tap I am removing the wall of undeserving that prevents me from moving forward…it’s melting away…in every moment I believe more and more that I deserve to heal…that I deserve better…I forgive myself for not believing this is true…I forgive myself for not believing this is true even as I tap right now…I forgive myself or whatever part of myself has built this wall…I know it has only done so because it is doing the best it can with what it has to protect me…I give myself permission to believe it is possible to see myself as deserving of better health…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve love.
[How to use these tapping phrases]

Did you give up on your New Year’s Resolution today?

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When I was at the gym today for my morning workout I didn't have to wait in line for any of the machines, but everything was basically full.

When I went to the gym three days ago I had to wait 15 minutes to use one of the machines.

The reason why?

New Year's resolutions!

Everyone makes them…and no one keeps them.

If you made a resolution to loose weight or exercise this year on New Year's Eve then on average today or tomorrow is the day you will give up on that resolution.

You might not know you have given up on the resolution yet, but you have given up.

This morning you might have said something like, “It was Monday morning and that is why it was so hard to get to the gym today.  I will do it tomorrow.”

Or…

“I have been so good so far this year that I am going to reward myself with a little treat.”

You feel like you are on the right path, but you are not.

BUT, it is not your fault.

Because of there nature New Year's Resolutions are destine for failure.  

Why Resolution Fail
The idea of New Year's Resolutions is great!

We reflect on our life.  We see the areas we would like to improve.  We commit to change.

In order to do this we need to make new choices (like eating healthier and exercising more) and create new habits.

This is where the problem lies.

To create a new habit it takes 21 days.   This is because that is how long it takes to create the new neural path in your brain for the new action.

That means on will power alone you are going to have to make the right choice for 3 weeks.

That is the reason most New Year's Resolutions fail today.  We are running out of will power.

A different approach.
It is possible to make these changes without having to have super human will power.

Instead of fighting your urges it is possible to take those urges away.

Instead of feeling like it is punishment to go to the gym it is possible to make exercising something you enjoy and desire.

By dealing with the emotions that underlie the current behaviors it is possible to make lasting change.

I have created a special 5-session program that will make change something that is not only possible, but natural and easy.

The New Year's Program That Really Works
This program is not a teleclass (with lots of other people on the line).  Instead, this is five one-on-one sessions where we will deal directly with where you are in relationship to your body and your diet.

We will do a session every two or three weeks to make sure we are not just doing a quick fix, but are making long term changes.

Here is just some of what will happen in these five sessions.

  • We will discover the reasons that you emotionally eat and clear those emotional blocks
  • I will teach you kill craving in under two minutes
  • I will teach you a technique that you can use in under two minutes a day to return your metabolism back to functioning optimally.
  • I will teach you what to do before you are tempted so you re not fighting off major cravings.
  • We will get you motivated to do the exercise that you want to do.
  • I will teach you how stress is related to mindless eating how you can combat that in just a few minutes a day.
  • We will clean up the core issues that are causing you to mindlessly eat.

ALSO, I am going to record each of the sessions for you, so you can go back and listen to the tapping sessions again and again.

This stuff works!
Here is what some of the people who did the program is the past have said

“Still haven't eaten sweets since our last session!!! Thank you a million.”  This was referring to a session 4 months earlier.

Here are two e-mails from the same person that came 24 hours apart:

“It worked!  I went to two dinner parties last night and both had fresh warm rolls, and I only had one at each, and it wasn't hard to resist AT ALL!  And they didn't taste as good as usual.   I'm so excited!”

“I was wrapping gifts today and adding four of my favorite candies to the bags and only had two pieces, and they weren't that good, even though we only did a tiny bit of tapping on that.  And I swear my jeans are fitting quite a bit looser.”

I also know it works from experience
Not only am I working this program with clients I have been working it myself.

You would not look at me and think I am out of shape, but as I approached my 35th birthday I decided I wanted to be in the same shape I was when I graduated college.  My goal is to lose 20lbs.

I have a January birthday and it seemed like folly to try to loss weight over the holiday season.

This year Christmas week I attended three holiday parties, had a huge dinner with my family Christmas Eve, and a huge brunch Christmas Day.  The entire holiday there was sweets on the counter in the kitchen 24 hours a day.

This year Christmas Week I lost weight.

That's right, I lost weight!

I didn't do this by starving myself.  I didn't do it by fighting craving every moment of the day. I didn't do it by not eating any sweets.

Instead, I made easy choices about what I wanted and needed to eat.   I was in total control.

(I even made it to the gym everyday except Christmas Day when the gym was closed.)

I did it and you can too!

Special Deal
I am offering this special New Year's Program That Really Works for only $298.  

That is $127 (or 30%) off if you paid full price for these five sessions.

(OR if you prefer you can make three monthly payments of $114)

But That's Not All
In addition to the sessions (and the recordings of the sessions) I am going to give you 4 free Bonuses.

Bonus #1: “34 EFT Scripts that Help You Shed Weight and Love Your Body” ebook

This script book contains 25 EFT scripts to help you loss weight.  It is just like having an EFT practitioner on your bookshelf that you have access 24 hours a day.  (Value $49.95)

Bonus #2: “It is weight release, not weight loss” audio

Medicinal Intuitive Catherine Poole shares in this exclusive interview her experience of the metaphysics of weight.  As Catherine says, “When we lose something, we can find it again.  The process of getting the body we love is about healing and release.  It has nothing to do with loss.  It has everything to do with the healing we gain.”  (Value $14.95)

Bonus #3: “Spa of the Mind”

This is one of my favorite and best selling audios.  In this guided imagery audio you are lead through a process of letting go of the emotional blocks preventing you from healing.  You just need to sit back, listen, and feel the blocks to your healing melt away. (Value $13.71)

Bonus #4: Share the gift of EFT with someone else

Imagine you are at a holiday party with friends and family.  You hear the comments, “You look great.”  “I am amazed at your will power around all these sweets.”  “How do you do it?”  You can keep it a secret, telling them it is just will power, or you can tell them about the power of EFT.  For one of those lucky loved ones in your life you can give them the chance to experience EFT with a professional.  When you join this program you will receive one free EFT session to give to anyone in your life. (Value $85)

That is $161.61 in free bonuses alone, which is more than half of the price of the total program.  It is just like getting 5 EFT sessions for under $150 (less than $28 a session).

100% Money Back Guarantee
I know (because I have seen it in the lives of my clients) that EFT is a very powerful tool in helping you to make better choices about what and when you eat, help to motivate you t
o you exercise, and clearing the emotional blocks that are preventing your body from releasing the extra weight.

If after two sessions you are not satisfied that you are well on your way regaining the body you love I will refund your money in full.  

AND, you keep the audio and script book bonus as my gift to you.

There are only 6 spots
My spring is very full with travel, teaching, and working with clients.  For that reason I am only going to take on 6 clients for this comprehensive program.  Don't miss out.

Remember, this is your chance to take control before the holiday season even starts.

Sign up now!
http://eftqanda.com/store/bodyyoulove.html

This is your opportunity to regain control of your body and be health for 2009.  Don't miss it.

To a healthy new year!

Gene

PS: Image what it will be like when everyone else is complaining about failed resolutions knowing that you are in control and on your way to the body you love.

After A Powerful EFT Session

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I have found EFT to be a very powerful tool. I have used it to clean up a number of deep emotional issues, but have noticed a number of unusual sensations after doing a session. Sometime I am really tired after a session, while other times I feel a little more emotional than when I started but wake up the next day feeling like a new person. Are these common experiences? Is there anything I can do after a session to make sure I’m taking care of myself? Is there anything I can do to make sure the results of the session stick?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very powerful tool, but as stated in the question there can be effects of doing EFT that go beyond just the issues we are working on. When we are doing EFT (regardless of the magnitude of the issue) we need to pay very close attention to the information our bodies and emotions are giving us.

Here are 4 basic things to keep in mind.

1) Knowing when enough is enough
Doing any sort of change work can stir up memories and beliefs that we are not ready to deal with. EFT is wonderful because it allows us to creep slowly up on problems, but there are times where we uncover more than we can handle on our own.

Also, there can be a point at which we have done as much healing as is healthy just then, having resolved only part of the problem. We might feel driven to soldier on because we’re not done with an issue, but we need to accept whatever stopping point is best for us.

Just because running 3 miles a day is healthy doesn’t mean running 100 miles a day is better. The body can only do so much before it needs rest. It’s the same with EFT. Just because there is more work to do doesn’t mean the body can deal with that work right now.

I had a client who was physically exhausted after just three rounds of tapping. He headed right to bed after less than 5 minutes of work.

Listen to your body…It will know when you are done for the session.

2) How to care for yourself after a session
There are lots of different ways the body can respond to an EFT session. Even when we work on the same issues, no two sessions produce the same effects in us. These feeling can range from light and euphoric to totally wiped out. Regardless of how we feel after a session there are two basic things we can do to take care of ourselves.

First, make sure you drink plenty of water. This is good advice even if you don’t do an EFT session, but it is especially important after doing EFT because we generally use and release a lot of energy. It takes time for our bodies to recharge. Water will help this process. You don’t need to drink so much that you float away, but it is a good idea to keeping sipping as the day unfolds.

Second, make sure you get enough rest. If you expend or release a lot of energy during an EFT session it’s a good idea to take it easy. You shouldn’t do anything that requires a great deal of energy, and you should make sure you get a good night’s sleep or even take a nap. As you will see in the next item, sleep can be important in the healing

3) The next day
When clients have a particularly emotional session I like to touch base the next day to see how he or she is doing. There have been times when we’ve done all we can do in a session, but my client is still emotional. When I touch base with my client the next day he/she is doing great. Many have described themselves as feeling like “a new person”.

When we are doing profound work it’s going to affect many parts of our life, not just the issue we are working through. The best analogy I’ve come up with is that it’s like doing a software update on our computers. Sometimes the changes are so fundamental to the way the computer works that the computer needs to be restarted for the changes to take effect.

I see a similar thing happening when we do major energy work. It takes a “reboot” for the changes to work through our system. This happens for us when we sleep. Scientists are still not completely sure why we sleep or dream. Many of the theories assume this is the time for our minds to sort out all the new data we’ve received throughout the day and integrate it fully into the body/mind/spirit.

The next time you do a major EFT session, either with a practitioner or on your own, pay attention to how you feel the next day. Even if you have a fitful night’s sleep, you will notice great changes beyond what you felt at the end of a session.

4) Getting it to stick
Sometimes we can find it very hard to sit down to do an EFT session. We know we will benefit from it, but something just keeps us from doing it. The reason is because in some fashion our issues benefit us. (See Getting Started) The same thing can happen after we do EFT. There may be something in us that resists the change working its way totally through the system (like discussed about) because something in us still sees benefits in keeping the problem.

I have found a very simple way around this problem. Tapping on it! (*wink*)

At the end of a session it is really easy to add some tapping phases like this:

I am so happy I had the chance to spend some time doing EFT…I am thankful that my body was able to reveal the areas that needed healing through my physical body and my emotions…I am thankful I found the time to do this work…I know over the next few hours and days these changes are going to slowly creep into every part of my life…the life, love, and energy that was opened up in this session is not going to just stay in this session…but is going to continue into my life….As my day unfolds I give my body permission to keep giving me information about the areas that need healing…I give myself permission to know this healing work is not over…I will have opportunities to do more work…Over the next few hours as these changes and healings become more and more real they are going to fill my life…tonight as I sleep I am going to have a restful night’s sleep…As I sleep these changes and healing are going to become more and more real in my life…My dreams will help me to sort out these changes to make them permanent…As good as I feel now…I am going to wake up tomorrow and every day of my life feeling better and better…As good as this feels…and it feels great…ever better things are to come…I am thankful for the chance to learn more and heal more [How to use these tapping phrases]

Peace (Personal and World)

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During the holiday season we are re-reminded that it is important to give thanks for the peace in our lives, homes, and world. We are also given the chance to consider the peace we long for. Please take some time this week and tap on these phrase to help bring peace.

I give thanks for the fact that I am reminded to consider the peace I have in my life…I am thankful for moments of peace…for people who create peace…and the people who call me to peace…I know there are places in my life that need more peace…I know I must take responsibility for creating that peace…that does not mean that I have created all the disharmony in my life, but I give myself permission to be responsible for the peace in my life…right now I tune into any block that I have to creating peace in my life…these might be big blocks…or they might be small…I know my body is holding on to these blocks for a reason…because it thinks these block are protecting me from something…I thank my body for holding these blocks…but right now I choose to let them go…any block I’m holding that prevents peace in my life…and in my world…I let it go now…knowing in this moment that I no longer need it…as I let it go I feel my body…I feel the freedom that comes with this peace…I forgive myself for carrying these blocks for so long…I love and accept myself…knowing I deserve peace in my life…and in my world…any part of me that feels I don’t deserve peace…I thank that part of me…because it believes it is protecting me…and I let these beliefs go…I deserve peace in my life…I was made for peace…I am at my fullest and my best…when I am at peace…I also know I desire peace not just in myself…but also in the world…I know I can help to create peace in the world…in my thoughts…my deeds…and my actions…I know it can be scary to step out…to take actions that will create peace…others might judge these actions…thinking I am a do-gooder…thinking I am being arrogant…thinking I am messing in places I shouldn’t be…I give myself permission to help create peace in the world…I give myself permission to be a peacemaker…the world needs peace…it is not just better for me…but better for everyone…when I create peace in myself…I create peace in the world…when I create peace in the world…I create peace in myself…Let there be peace on Earth…and let it begin with me.
[How to use these tapping phrases]

Not Knowing What To Tap On/Tapping To Help Getting To Sleep/Tapping For Relaxation

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There are times when I want to spend a little time tapping, but I don’t have a specific issue or I don’t really want to dive into a very emotional issue. Is there any benefit to just tapping with no particular intention? [Note: The example in this article on how to tap without words is a perfect way to tap to help you get a good night’s sleep or to just relax.]


photo by James Blann

One of the reason I love Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is because it costs us nothing more than a little time to do. So even if we aren’t doing EFT in the most effective fashion we are just spending a few minutes thinking positively about our health and well-being.

Also, it is important to remember that if we are tapping while there is any sort of block in our thoughtfields while we are tapping (even if we aren’t consciously aware of it) we are doing work on it. It’s not the words we are saying but the thoughts that we have while we are tapping that make the change.

To this end I do some tapping every night before I go to bed in which I don’t think of anything in particular. I just let whatever needs to be bubbling up to bubble up on its own. I will either do this while taking a short walk or while listening to or watching something (podcast, DVD, or evening news).

A great deal has been written in the EvEFT community about which hand we should tap with or what side of the body we should be tapping on. (For my point of view on this topic, click here.)  To take advantage of the possibility that there is benefit from switching this up I tap in every possible combination.

The pattern looks like this:

  1. Take a long cleansing deep breath to clear my mind and relax my
  2. With my right hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the right side of the body until I have tapped on every point.
  3. With my left hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the left side of my body until I have tapped on every point.
  4. With my right hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the left (notice the switch) side of the body until I have tapped on every point.
  5. With my left hand starting on the top of my head I work my way down tapping on each point on the right (notice the switch) side of my body until I have tapped on every point.
  6. Repeat

I do this for about 10 minutes. It is very, very relaxing and puts me in a great place to climb into bed for a good night’s sleep.

Recently I have been experimenting with a slightly different approach to this tapping routine. I was introduced to it by Angela Treat Lyonin her blog. You would do the exact same exercise as explained above but would tap in the way she describes on her web site (which you should visit because it has lots of great stuff). She has come with something called Cascade Tapping.

I've used Cascade Tapping for hundreds of people now (both in live sessions and in my teleclasses), and I've found that this way of tapping helps take them from thought to feeling in seconds.

It's really very simple. Instead of jumping from one point to the next and tapping on each one 5 – 7 times, you move gently and gradually in little half-inch increments from one point to the next, only tapping on the incremental spots once (see diagram).

There are many variations and ideas about where to start, tapping but I like to start at the top of the head with very gentle circle of tapping, then trek on down to the third eye, and on down. No hard fast rules.

I'm finding that there's an almost instant yawn or sigh factor for anxiety and fear, in particular. I do it while I'm driving in heavy weather and am calm almost immediately.

Remember to be easy with yourself. Don’t feel like you need to accomplish too much with your tapping, knowing that any time you spend tapping is a small step forward to health and well-being. Our objective is not to be standing in the right place but to instead be constantly moving forward (even if it is only a little at a time).

Children Who Are Reluctant To Tap

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My 8-year-old son has been taught how to tap by an EFT Practitioner and I have done it with him off and on. When something comes up and I tell him to tap on it, he doesn’t want to! Do you have any suggestions on helping my son make tapping a part of his life?

[[This article is written by Angie Muccillo. Angie is the author of “Tapping For Kids‚ A Children's Guide To EFT.” This book puts the extraordinary power of EFT firmly into the hands of children and young people, as a tool for life, to help them overcome their fears, worries and everyday traumas as well as build their self-esteem. Details on Angie's book can be found at Dragon Rising and she can be reached directly at http://tappingforkids.com]


photo by Ashok Saravanan

Let’s look at some of the reasons why children may not tap and what you can do to create an environment where tapping is encouraged.

Why Kids Won't Tap
Sometimes children will resist tapping even when they have been taught to use it and it has worked for them in the past. Firstly, no matter how much you may want your child to tap on something because you know it will help them, it is important to remember that you can’t “make” a child tap if they don’t want to. It is especially important to understand that EFT is not a strategy for getting children to do what you want or to get them to behave in a certain way. It is a way to help children release their emotions if and when THEY want to. We can show them when and how to tap but the decision to tap must ultimately be the child’s. Sometimes they may prefer to tap alone and other times they may prefer to tap with you or another person.

Some reasons why children may resist tapping:

1. Children may resist tapping because they are being “told” to tap rather than being “encouraged” to tap. When given as a directive children may react with a defiant or rebellious attitude. It can become “another thing mum nags me about” as opposed to when a child realizes that it’s “something I can do whenever I want to feel better.”

2. Children can often pick up on your desperation for them to tap and this can make them more resistant to it. Often the harder you try the more they resist.

3. They may not feel it is “cool” to tap. While some children take to EFT immediately, others may feel self-conscious or embarrassed about using it.

How To Encourage a “Reluctant” Child To Tap

1. Become an EFT Model

The key to encouraging a “reluctant” child to tap is to actively model it yourself as well as help create an environment where tapping is part of family life. When children see their parents tapping they are more likely to do it themselves. According to Karen Curry, author of EFT For Parents, “children do what we do, not what we say…if your kids see you tapping, especially when you are feeling emotional intensity, they will be encouraged to use it themselves under similar circumstances.” If they see you tapping and how it benefits you they may be more likely to do it with you or on their own.

2. Tap On Your Own Frustration/Desperation First

If you are frustrated or upset about the fact that your child won’t tap, then treat your own frustration or upset first. “Even though Tim won’t let me teach him to tap, he’s still a wonderful child and I love him unconditionally”…, “Even though I want to help him but he won’t let me…, “Even though I can’t get him to tap with me…”, Even though he pushes me away…”, “Even though he’s doing this just to make me mad…”, etc

3. Surrogate Tapping

Once you have brought your emotional intensity down by tapping on your own frustration/desperation first, you can then try surrogate tapping for your child, starting with any beliefs the child may have about EFT such as “Even though tapping can’t help me, I’m still okay,” “Even though nothing can help me with this problem, I’m still okay,” “Even though I would rather stay mad/sad/upset, I’m still a great kid,” “Even though I’m too scared to tap…” Also surrogate tap on the child’s actual resistance to tapping using their own words such as, “NO don’t make me tap, I don’t want to tap, I hate tapping, stop trying to make me do it, I won’t do it, I hate being told what to do,” etc. After a few rounds tap on some positive statements on behalf of the child such as “What if tapping helps me feel better,” “What if I can do it on my own,” “What if tapping helps me feel really really good,” “What if I don’t have to feel upset anymore,” “This tapping stuff is actually fun,” “What if I like doing it,’ etc. After you have finished surrogate tapping pay attention to any changes and notice if the child seems more willing to tap of their own accord or asks you to help them.

4. Tap On Behalf of Your Child

When you see your child getting upset, rather than telling him to tap, simply start tapping out loud on yourself so they can hear you, using a set-up that reflects what is going on. “Even though Tim is really mad and hurt because….., he’s still a great kid and I love him.” Encourage your child to join along with you or just keep tapping on their behalf (unless they object) using whatever you think is bothering them to tap on. If they see that you understand how they’re feeling they may start tapping themselves and be more open to telling you why and what they’re really upset about.

5. Add Some Humor

You can also add some humor and tap on something like “Even though mum is doing this crazy tapping thing again and I don’t want to do it, I’m still a great kid. I’ll tap if and when I want!”

6. Why It's Cool To Tap

Reinforce the benefits of tapping to your child, such as, “it’s a way to help you feel better whenever you want,” “it can help you calm down when you want to,” “it helps your anger melt away,” etc. When kids find out they can tap on their upset without having to tell you what it is about they start to pay attention! In her work with children, Ann Adams will often tell an upset child in her faculty who hasn’t been introduced to EFT yet that, “I’m going to give you something to calm yourself down and you don’t even have to talk to me.” She points out that “not asking a child to talk ’sets you apart’ from all other professionals who have tried to help this kid.” The Promise Of Energy Psychology pg 168

Setting up an environment where tapping is encouraged and offered as an option and a choice may go a long way to helping a “reluctant child to tap.” Through teaching, encouraging and modeling the use of EFT within the family, in the classroom, etc., a “reluctant child” may discover they have a tool for life.

Using EFT to Give Thanks!

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I always seem to be using EFT for the things that go wrong in my life or the things I want to change. Does it do any good to tap on things that are going right and if so how would I do this?


photo by Scott Ableman

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a very powerful tool for giving thanks. I am a firm believer that one of the most powerful tools we have for moving our lives to the places we want is to recognize the blessings we have. This puts us at ease, giving us the ability to follow inspiration with less worry and anxiety. When we act with less worry and anxiety we are more likely to follow that inspiration with energy, leading us to richer and fuller lives.

The process I use is very simple, and I do it every day.

1) I get out my big book of gratitude, which is nothing more than a spiral notebook with the words “Big Book of Gratitude” written on the front.

2) I write on the top of a clean sheet of paper, “Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving.”

3) I make a list of ten things I am thankful for. Some are big (like life) and some are small (like fresh blueberries).

4) I then fill the margins with “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” and “Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving!” over and over again.

5) Next I do 10 rounds of tapping, one for each of the things on the list. “thank you for fresh blueberries…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank your for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving…thank your for fresh blueberries…”

It is impossible to start your day in a bad mood if you make this process a daily habit.

Using EFT In Tough Times

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Everywhere you turn there seems to be bad news. It’s hard to be hopeful for the future when all you hear is doom and gloom. How can I use EFT to lift my mood and make it possible to thrive in these troubled times?

[Note: This article is by Chip Engelmann. Make sure you check out Chip's web site ChipEFT.com for many great articles, ebooks, and recordings of past teleseminars.]


photo by Daniel H. Agostini

It is easy to get sucked in. We turn on the TV and a talking head economist is accusing a politician of playing a political campaign fiddle while Rome burns. The Republicans blame the Democratic congress and the Democrats blame the Republican leadership. Of course, the press loves bad news because bad news increases ratings and increased ratings means advertising dollars. All you have to do is listen to your TV, “Times are tough and the worst is yet to come.”

The time has come for you to take action. Switch your TV to the Golf Channel. Go out and rent When Harry Met Sally. Stop watching the news. It is toxic.

No, I’m not talking about putting your head in the sand and hoping it will go away. However, the Law of Attraction states that whatever you put your attention on is what you will bring into your life. If you allow yourself to become emotionally immersed in the world’s economic turmoil, personal economic turmoil will follow. If you perceive that you live in a world of doom and gloom, you will find an endless stream of evidence to support living in a harsh environment. If you see the world as overflowing with abundance, your personal world will be abundant.

No, this is not wishful thinking. It is a powerful tool we can use to shape the course of our lives. If we put our attention on how we want our lives to play out, the mind will search through billions of pieces of information to find what we need in order to thrive. If we set our attention on a goal and expect it to be achieved, our mind will find the information we need to make it happen.

The key to improving our world is as simple as switching our attention from what we don’t want, to what we do want.

My wife and I recently attended one of Esther and Jerry Hicks’ events in Toronto. I’ll share with you something Esther shared that is extremely relevant today and should give you great hope.

“What if one person in a relationship is allowing [abundance] and the other is blocking?”

It's a good question, right? The answer:

“One who is allowing is more powerful than a million who are not.”

What does that mean to us today? If every one of us takes our power to continue to see the world with hope and attention to what is good and what could be good, no matter what shows up in the news, we will profoundly affect the outcome both personally and as a society. So don’t give up and don’t give in – when you see what you don’t want, keep turning your attention back to what you do want.

People have pointed out that it is easy to say, but harder to do. We each have set ways of thinking about things.

You may notice that you have been feeling bad, thinking about what you don’t want, for three days before it dawns on you to retrain your attention on what it is you do want. It may take days to notice that you have been putting your attention on “The Economy,” and you are scared. But right now is all that matters, so refocus on what you want and you will feel better. Next time it may only take two and a half days to notice your attention has wandered. It’s a matter of learning through trial and error. You get better at it as you go along. Eventually, you will notice within a few seconds when your attention strays.

Yet it can be hard to focus on what you want when you are afraid, overwhelmed, or depressed. (It is no coincidence bad economic times are called depressions.) Luckily, EFT can help take the edge off. In fact, we can use EFT to lessen the emotional load and Dr. Pat Carrington’s Choices Technique to help us change our old perceptions.

  • Even though I'm afraid I might lose my job…
  • Even though I'm worried about my retirement…
  • Even though I'm angry at the government..
  • Even though I'm angry at those big companies…
  • Even though I'm angry at myself for not being prepared…
  • Even though I'm afraid I will lose my house…
  • Even though I'm worried I can't sell my house…
  • Even though I'm afraid because I'm on a fixed income…
  • Even though I'm afraid my health insurance won't come through…
  • Even though I'm worried my car won't last until I can afford a new one…
  • Even though I can't handle one more thing…
  • Even though I'm afraid the other guy will get elected…
  • Even though I'm afraid the world is going to hell in a hand basket…

You get the idea. Tap on any of these types of statements that color your world.

It is, however, important not to put any more attention on what you don’t want than necessary to neutralize the negative emotions. The more time you spend looking for negative emotions, the more you will find. At some point, you must turn your attention back to what it is that you do want.

The Choices Technique is a good way of training your mind to focus on what you want, or the wonderful things you already have. We live in an abundant universe: lush green trees, beautiful birds, tenderly cared-for homes, creative people who love what they do are everywhere. It is been estimated that if we equally divided the wealth of the world between each of the 6 billion inhabitants, each person would have over ten million dollars. There is no shortage of money..

But many people tend to focus their thoughts on what is not right with the world. A set-up statement you might use is:

Even though I used to get drawn in to negative news,
I now chose to see abundance everywhere I look.

This is what you say three times as you tap on side of hand. Follow with three rounds of tapping. The first round, tap on

I used to get drawn in to negative news

The second round, tap on

I now chose to see abundance everywhere I look.

The third round, alternate back and forth with the two phrases

I used to get drawn in to negative news…
I now chose to see abundance every where I look…

Until you complete the round. It is important to end on the phrase that states what you do want. This exercise should be done three times a day for three weeks. You are attempting to change a mental habit.

Here are some other examples of set-up phrases you can use:

  • Even though I used to spend my time thinking about what I don't like about my life, I now choose to appreciate what makes me happy.
  • Even though I used to believe I was powerless, I now choose to reclaim my power by believing I can do anything I want.
  • Even though I tended to focus on not having enough money to pay my bills, I now choose to relish the relief I feel every time a bill is paid.
  • Even though I used to complain every time something bad happened to me, I now choose to see how the Universe always works for my benefit with amazing synchronicity.
  • Even though I used to think there was no way out, I now choose to trust that the next step and the next step will appear as I start moving toward what I want.
  • Even though I used to believe what happened in rest of the world greatly affected me, I now choose to see that where I place my attention determines my experience.

Remember that this is a trial and error process. Don’t beat yourself up. Just guide your attention to what it is you want to experience. There is no hurry, you don’t have to be perfect before lunch time.

Maybe you feel like this might work for others, but won’t work for you. You don’t have what it takes. Well, you can use a variation of the Choices Technique to give yourself those attributes.

  • Even though what I want is taking a long time to come, I give myself the patience to receive it.
  • Even though I have trouble deciding what I want, I give myself permission to make a long list of those things that would make me happy.
  • Even though I feel like I don't deserve anything good, I choose to focus my attention on those things that I like about myself.
  • Even though I can't seem to get it, I give myself the insight I need to figure it out.
  • Even though I feel so overwhelmed, I choose to find the baby steps I need to take to get things under control.

Finally, pay attention to what you tell others about the world, the economy and how it affects you. Are you casting yourself in the role of a victim or are you choosing words that maintain your responsibility? As Abraham said at the seminar, “You can’t beat the drum of where you are and still move to where you’re going.” Your experience of life reflects the story you tell. If you are a victim, find words that express that you have a more creative and self-determining role. Tell the truth, but make it the highest truth available to you.

For example, here are a series of sentences that might lead step-by-step from what you don’t want to what you do want. Notice how each truth sounds a little better than the one before it.

  • The economy is in the crapper.
  • Those politicians really were asleep at the wheel. It's about time they did something.
  • With the high speed communications we have today,
  • there's no way we'll have anything as bad as the Great Depression.
  • I've survived a lot of hard times in the past.
  • No matter what happens, I'll find a way – I always have.
  • Maybe this wake-up call in the economy will lead to some good changes.
  • I wonder how I can take advantage of this situation.
  • I'll bet I can come up with a good idea to help people and be profitable at the same time.

Your job is to tell the best story you can believe is true. As you do, notice how your life starts to change. Then see if you can tell a better and better story. You’ll find there is no limit to how good it can get.

You now have several tools to thrive no matter what appears to be going on around you.

Don’t Know How To Forgive Myself

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What is the best procedure a person can take to learn how to forgive one’s self? I need to forgive myself desperately but don’t know how!

The question of forgiveness comes up a lot with the clients I work with. In the article Forgiveness Equals Condoning The Action I talk a great deal about forgiveness, why forgiveness is hard, and how we can forgive ourselves and others.

But what happens when we don’t think forgiveness is even possible?

There is an ongoing conversation among EFT practitioners about when to use forgiveness. Some feel that we can move to forgiveness too soon. If we haven’t worked through the emotional issues associated with the need for forgiveness, then we might simply be stirring the pot on these issues and making the client feel worse without making any progress.

I see some value in keeping this in mind. If a client is still working through the emotion of a specific issue and that client isn’t fully ready to tap on forgiveness but recognize the need for forgiveness, we will tap on the fact that forgiveness is possible.

The tapping patter can look something like this:

I give myself permission to forgive myself…I give myself permission to believe forgiveness is possible…I give myself permission to know I need forgiveness…there is a part of me that is afraid of forgiveness…that is okay…that part of me is only trying to protect me…any block to forgiveness I have I can let go…forgiveness is possible…I deserve forgiveness…I am worthy of forgiveness…even if part of me doesn’t believe that…there is a part of me that knows this is true…I give myself permission to be easy with myself about the fact I have not forgiven myself yet…I forgive myself for not forgiving myself…I don’t know how to forgive myself…I forgive myself for not knowing how to forgive myself…the more I forgive myself…the easier it will be to forgive myself…forgiveness is a process…I don’t have to forgive everything at once…when I forgive myself I am not saying what I did in the past is right…when I forgive myself I am choosing to stop being a prisoner to my past…this doesn’t mean I have to forget the past…or lose part of myself…instead I choose to learn from the past…and not be a prisoner to the past…I know forgiveness can take time…much like chipping a large boulder away…it is okay if I do it a bit at a time…forgiveness will come…with time…because I need it…and deserve it [How to use these tapping phrases]