Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #31: Using NLP with Tapping

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Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a powerful tool and can help you to understand where you are standing and help you to make choices to transform your life. NLP and EFT/Tapping are a match made in heaven. More than likely you are already using NLP techniques and don’t even know it.

What people are saying about the NLP 4 part class:

“I was taking notes but couldn’t get it down fast enough. That was one super-loaded-with-info hour. I loved it! What Gene said was most helpful to a few issues I’ve been working on, tapping away at, for months and not making any obvious headway. Well, already I can see a difference, in just over 24 hours.”

“Thanks so much for yesterday’s teleclass. So interesting, because it outlined points that I keep making in my work with people in study crisis. They’re often catastrophising the situation in all the ways Gene outlined. I wasn’t aware that all these logical flaws had been so carefully documented so that was very helpful. I also thought Gene was so clear and packed the hour with so much information.”

“Wow…that was an amazing call! I always learn something when I listen to you.”

Using The Ways Others Aggravate Us As A Tool To Self-Healing

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Here is a tweet that I love: @robpurdie i am the things i don't like about other people.

Sometimes this is a really hard fact to admit, but I know in my own life it is true. When I am really bent out of shape by someone else's actions it is providing me an opportunity to take a look at myself.

Here is a simple exercise that I use from time to time. I wish I could remember where I learned it form. For this activity you will need a sheet of paper divided into three columns.

1) Who are you frustrated with and why?
In the first column make a list of the people who are frustrating you and why they are frustrating:

Jane only talks about herself
Bill is always late
Sam doesn't realize how easy he has it
Jill picks on other behind their back
…

2) Write a statement of forgiveness
In the second column write a sentence that is forgiving of them.

Jane only talks about herself I forgive Jane for only talking about herself
Bill is always late I forgive Bill for always being late
Sam doesn't realize how easy he has it I forgive Sam for not realizing how easy he has it.
Jill picks on other behind their back I forgive Jill for picking on others
… …

3) Change the forgiveness statement about yourself

Jane only talks about herself I forgive Jane for only talking about herself I forgive myself for only talking about myself
Bill is always late I forgive Bill for always being late I forgive myself for being late
Sam doesn't realize how easy he has it I forgive Sam for not realizing how easy he has it. I forgive myself for not realizing how good I have it
Jill picks on other behind their I forgive Jill for picking on others I forgive myself for picking on others
… … …

4) Look at the third column for a starting point for tapping.
Each of the statements in the third column are great set-up statements. Now, each of them might not apply to you, but be honest. You might be surprised in what you discover.

Our Relationships Around Food (7 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 7 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]

photo by lfl

Much of the time we spend with loved ones food is present. It can be in the form of celebration, gift, or just mealtime with loved ones. Because food is present in so may different aspects of our relationships our relationship to food can get tangled up in our relationship to relationships.

Here are two examples:

Being Shown Love With Food
Food is literal nourishment and many times can be put into a place of metaphorical nourishment. I think the old wives tale is, “Feed a cold; starve a fever”. In my house growing up we always joked, “Feed a cold; feed a fever; feed a sprained ankle.”

When we are trying to make someone feel better, showing them sympathy for a loss, or celebrating something we show up with food. Because of this it can become very easy for us to equate food with love. The subconscious can make the connections that “Many times when there is food present people are showing me love and affections. Therefore, if I have food present I will have love and affection.”

You don't have to have a post gradate degree in logic to see how wrong that statement is, but it can create a very powerful link in the subconscious mind. When this sort of link is created the body will crave food everything time it is feeling sad or lonely. It is no surprise that we call it comfort food.

Tapping for this might look like:

I know there are many times in my life where food has been a central element…food is present when we celebrate…when we grieve…when we care for each other…food is a wonderful way to show love and affection…just because I am doing this work does not mean that I am going to stop using food as one expression of love…and it does not mean that I am going to stop accepting food as others expression of love…but food does not equal love…food is not the same as love…when I eat food I am not going to find love…love and food can be present at the same time…food can be an expression of love…food is not love…food does not equal love…it is good my system is seeking love…I need love…but I am not going to find it in food…right now I am going to speak to the part of me that thinks food equals love…thank you for wanting more love in my life…i want more love in my life as well…but I am not going to get that love by having food…there are time that when people love me they bring food…but food and love are not the same thing…right now I am going to think of three examples of what real love is…so you can see that love has many form…(tap as long as you need to as you think of these things)…thank you for trying to fill my life with love…I now ask that you help me fill my life in new ways

The Only Time We Get Together Is With Food
I grew up in a wonderful family. One of the rules in the house while growing up was that we ate dinner together. Even when my parents, my siblings, and myself we involved in school, community, church, and sporting activities we ate dinner together.

I am not sure what I thought about it at the time. I have a feeling I gave it little thought then. In hindsight it was a real blessing.

With that being said, it is very easy for the subconscious mind to take a feeling like that and twist it around. It can conclude, “If I serve a meal…then everyone will come around…and we can spend quality time together…and we will be a happy loving family.”

Again, there isn't a straight line to this logic. Just because a family is gathering around a table doesn't mean that it is doing it in a loving way. Not all families work the same way. For some families meal times were the most chaotic time because everyone had to be in the same place. By doing this we can cause two problems. First, we can be creating lots of extra meals we don't need because we are trying to create connections. Second, when those connections don't work out we can get stress or frustrated causing us to eat more.

In part 8 of this series we will look at the why we sabotage our own success.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #30: Keys For Marketing Mastery w/ Pamela Bruner

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Most of us who have private practices or want private practices want to spend our time helping our clients. We don't want to spend time marketing. Not because we don't think marketing is important, but because we aren't very good at it or even worse it is scary. In this podcast I talk to Pamela Bruner and we discover that not only do you need to be marketing for your own sake, but for your clients’ sake. We talk about the unique challenges that transformational entrepreneurs face in marketing their products and services. This is a must listen to if you have or would like your own practice.


Pamela Bruner

Guest: Pamela Bruner

Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessReal.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, facebook @ MakeYourSuccessEasy;
phone @ 888-403-4057

About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Business Success Coach, author, speaker, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) expert. After removing her own marketing fears to grow her business from $375/month to a $1,000,000 in less than 3 years, Pamela specializes in working with conscious entrepreneurs to build six-and seven-figure businesses by removing their fears and blocks around marketing and sales. She is co-author of ‘EFT and Beyond – Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation', and is the co-author of the book and DVD ‘Tapping into Ultimate Success’ with Jack Canfield, author of ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul'.

Resources from this episode:

Relationship To Food (6 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 6 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Carl Carpenter

One of the places it is easiest to emotionally beat ourselves up is over the types of foods we are eating. There are days that we can feel great because we have eaten “good” food, while other days we can be emotionally distraught be cause we ate “bad” foods.

It can be a dangerous when we build our emotional state off of the types foods that we have eaten. Part of the problem is the fact that there are no such thing as good food and bad food. Food is nothing more than nourishment and energy that the body uses to help to power and maintain the body.

Now, it is true that some foods are better at doing these jobs than others, but it is not a simple cut a dry good and bad. Consider these examples:

  • foods that are good for one functions, but not another (protein is a great source of energy and building blocks for the body, but most froms of protein take time for the body to break down and if they are eaten in the evening they hinder necessary sleep)
  • foods that are good for one person, but not for another (I love nuts, but I have friends that could die from eating them)
  • foods that are good in one portion (eating few raisins is good, but 2lbs of raisins for lunch and I am not going to be leaving the

    • bathroom for hours)

Our worth, our value, and who we are going to become is not related to the food we eat. Food is a tool. As we talked in Dealing With Mindless Eating sometimes the food is serving another function than just providing nourishment and energy, but as a way to deal with emotions. Even here, even thought it is not being used for our betterment, it is still a tool.

By taking steps to eliminate mindless eating we are going to help change our emotional state about when we are eating. In addition to that step we also do some work improving our relationship the food that we are eating when we do eat and take the emotional charge away from that experience.

The tapping might look something like:

I have to eat food…food is necessary for me to stay alive…I need it to maintain and energize my body…i am very blessed to have some many different food options in my life…I live in a time and place in which I can choose foods not only because they help my body to function…but I also can choose food based off of what I enjoy eating…sometimes I am very hard on myself because of the foods I choose to know…I know there are foods that are better for me…but I choose food that is bad for me…I recognize the fact that there is no such thing as bad food…there are foods that might not provide as much nourishment as others…there are foods that are better for me at one time than another…there are some foods that are better for me in one amount, but not another…there are even foods that my body can't process affectively and I should avoid…but none of this means that food is bad…food is not the enemy…I know I need to make good choices about the food I consume…but by understanding what food is…I am going to be less likely to be hard on myself when I eat “bad” food…my body knows the food that I need in every situation…there are times that I need fiber…or protein…or vitamins…or minerals…when I recognize that food is not the enemy…then I can trust my body to ask for the food that it needs in this moment…my body has the wisdom to ask for the needs that are needed to grown…maintain…and power the body…I give myself to trust my body to ask for the food it needs…to do this I need to be in tune with my body…which I can do…by doing this I will be more likely to eat the food the body needs for this moment in time…because this is a unique moment in time…and the body has unique needs…food is not the enemy…the goal is good choices…and I am not going to make the right choice every time…but we have a body that can handle that…I choose to see food as a tool…an enjoyable tool at times…but a tool…it is not good…or bad…food does not have a morality…there are foods that are more right for this moment…food is not bad.

In part 7 of this series we will look at our relationship to others in regard to food.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Top 9 Articles/Topics (UPDATE)

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photo by La Famille Rapp

Over the lifetime of this web site I have been keeping a very close tab on the most frequently asked questions and the most popular articles about tapping/EvEFT. Here are nine common topics, most of which are based on conversations with clients and e-mails from readers, dealing with why Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping works, what a person can expect during the healing process, and how to improve one's tapping practice. Please keep the questions coming.

* * * *

Why Do I Have To Tap?
When I share tapping with people the most common reaction is skepticism, which makes perfect sense. Based on their past experience it does seem unreasonable that tapping on their body would make more of a difference than thinking up new solutions. In this three-part series I explore why tapping is useful and often much more useful than brainstorming.

Why Do I Say Negative Phrases When Tapping?
One of the most common questions I get about tapping is about negative phrases. Clients are very worried that by focusing on the negative aspects they are going to reinforce them. When something is not right in our life we are going to focus on the negative aspects regardless because when we want better we notice what we would like to change. Tapping doesn't reinforce these ideas, but uses them for transformation.

Why Do I Have A Hard Time Sitting Down To Tap?
Sometimes our desire to improve is not enough. We can resist our transformation in powerful ways. Here are some of the common reasons that we resist making the changes we want and need, as well as strategies to get past each type of resistance.

The Process Of Healing
There is a very specific process to how we heal. It often doesn't happen all at once and when we understand this, it's easier for us to recognize the progress we have made and to plan the next step. Acknowledging this progress in particular helps to keep us motivated to do the necessary work and move forward quickly.

What Is The Deal With Surrogate Tapping?
As strange as tapping seems, surrogate tapping seems even stranger. It doesn't seem possible or reasonable that we can tap on ourself and see change in someone else. In these two resources we look at how it isn't about us changing someone else, but how we can be an agent of change. This is very powerful stuff.

Using Information For Our Body To Find Core Issues
Just because we think we know the reason for our issues DOES NOT mean that we really know the reasons for our issues. Often we are wrong because we are too close to the situation or are simply misunderstanding the information. Our bodies, which are not hamstrung by our beliefs and misperceptions, frequently possess higher wisdom about our issues. The body simply knows what it is experiencing and we can leverage this information in our healing process. Here are a number of suggestions on how to tune into the body to access this knowledge.

Emotional Triggers
Everyone has something that sets him or her off. These emotional triggers are no surprise to us and often they are no surprise to our loved ones! In this three-part series we look at how we can deal with emotional triggers when they are activated. and then how to deactivate them permanently.

Change For The Future
One of my favorite tapping/EvEFT applications is using it to insure that we make better choices and get closer to the life we really want to live. Here are two processes to positively impact our future. (These are far and away the most read articles on the site.)

Specialty Series
In addition to the regular articles and podcast on the site as of January of 2010 there is always a specialty series. These are a series of resources that go much more in-depth to one issue of many articles.

BONUS: My Personal Favorites
There are a number of resources that I have created that I am particularly proud of. Many of those articles can be found in the nine topic areas above. There are a number of my favorites that don't fit into one of those categories. Maybe, if you read between the line you will learn a little something about where I am in my life. Here they are in no particular order.

Pod #29: Turning Your Issues Into Allies In 9 Easy Steps

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One of the most powerful insights I have had in my practice in the last 18 months was the recognition that every issue we have is trying to serve us in some way. This does not mean that issue is successful in doing so, in fact often the effect of the issue is to make our life worse rather than better. In podcast I explain an easy 9 step process you can use with Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping to transform your issues into powerful resources for growth.

Resources For This Pod

Negative Thoughts (A New Way To Use Negative Thoughts To Clear Issues)

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I am trying to get rid of the negative thoughts and feelings. Isn't saying and thinking negative thoughts while Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping just reinforcing the negative situation I am in? Shouldn't I just be saying positive things?


photo by Christine Vaufrey

This is one of the most common questions that beginner tapper ask. It seem counter intuitive to think of negative thoughts to get better. In the article Why do I have to tap? How is Tapping Different From Just Thinking About The Issue? I explain the whys and hows of negative thoughts while tapping.

In a nut shell when we are tuning into the negative emotion we are tuning into the root of the issue and giving us direct access to the issue we would like to heal. Recently Dr. Kiya Immergluck shared a really interesting thought in her news letter on one of the ways we can use negative thoughts to clear the issues.

What Kiya suggests is that we indulge our mind in revenge fantasies while we are tapping. I think this is helpful for two reasons. First, at least for me, when I am really angry at someone my mind is going to drift some of these thoughts any way so I might as well use them for healing. Second, I think it is health to meet head on the thoughts we have that aren't for our highest good. Instead of pretending these thoughts aren't there, we are getting a chance to recognize and heal them.

Here is Kiya's article in its entirety (reprinted with permission) followed by a few more comments.

Revenge Tapping
Dr. Kiya L. Immergluck, LCPC
eft-tap.com

I went to hear a very wise woman speak recently, and she answered someone’s question in a very unusual way. A woman I’ll call “Jane” asked: “How can I get over the resentment I feel about being stuck taking care of my abusive mother now that she’s old and there are no other relatives?”

I was sure the wise woman was going to speak about forgiveness, or the possibility of learning valuable lessons, or the “gift” of having time to heal a toxic relationship. But the message was very clear and very controversial. She said:

“Entertain revenge fantasies!”

I was so shocked, I almost fell out of my chair, and then I began to laugh. I realized that it was actually a very good idea. She emphasized that the exercise was about fantasy and not about anything real. Jane began to laugh and said immediately: I just pictured the movie “Misery!”

If you don’t remember, the movie pictured a very crazy woman holding a man captive and causing him great bodily harm. I knew that Jane wouldn’t ever really hurt her mother, but giving herself permission to have violent fantasies was very comforting for her.

I knew that tapping would be an excellent tool so that a person could have unacceptable and inappropriate negative fantasies, and feel totally neutral about them with no guilt or discomfort.

For example, Jane could have tapped:

SoH: Even though I am having terrible fantasies about revenge on my mother, I accept myself anyway. (3X)
EB: These “Misery” fantasies…
SE: These “Misery” fantasies…
UE: I feel so guilty…
UN: These “Misery” fantasies…
Ch: I shouldn’t have them…
CB: I am being a “bad daughter.”
UA: These “Misery” fantasies…
UB: I would never REALLY do anything to hurt her…
Wr: But it is so comforting
T of H: I am being a “bad daughter.”
(Side of Hand, Eye Brow, Side of Eye, Under Eye, Under Nose, Chin, Collar Bone, Under Arm, Under Breast, Wrist, Top of Head.)

The idea of giving voice to negative thoughts has often been confusing for some of my students. Once, a retired minister in her 80’s came to one of my tapping workshops, and couldn’t understand why we were saying such “un-Christian” statements about situations, other people, and ourselves. She spent her lifetime teaching people to be kind, patient and loving. Her message to her congregation was always to “be patient,” “show Christian charity,” and work hard to get to a place of “forgiveness” for our enemies.

What I always emphasize is that we are only giving voice to the negative thoughts that already exist within us. I believe that some of our stress-related physical illnesses can be traced back to the “unacceptable” negative emotions that we bury in our psyches.

With the added tool of tapping, we let those emotions out in the open so that the negative emotions are neutralized and really dispersed for good. Remember, revenge tapping is only about fantasy, never about seriously wanting to harm yourself or anyone else.

Like all tapping tools, this isn't for everyone. If this is something you are not comfortable indulging in, then don't. Be safe. Know your self. If this is something you are comfortable doing then it is going to take the edge off your rage and anger by moving it from something that is bubbling under the surface and bring it in to the light of day it is going to lose its power and were are going to be able to heal it.

Avoiding Bitterness

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[Note: From time to time some of the resources on this site come from a more personal world-view. I do not claim to have a monopoly on truth. This is just a point of view. If this does not serve you I hope you are able to find other resources on the site that speak to you.]

Here is a quote from one of the many newsletters I am subscribed to:

photo by Sean Dreilinger
    In order to let suffering transform us, we must let it take us to the edge of our own inner resources where alone we can “fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31), even against our will. We must pray for the profound grace of this second stage of softening and opening in the presence of suffering.

    My personal opinion is that this is the very meaning of the phrase “deliver us from evil” in the Our Father (the Lord’s Prayer). We aren’t asking to avoid all suffering. It is more that we pray, “when the big trials come, God, hold onto me, and don't let me turn bitter or blaming—an evil that leads to so many other evils. When I am led to the edge of my own resources may I fall into YOU, who are my true and lasting Source.”


Excerpted and adapted from “Opening the Door: Great Suffering and Great Love”
from “The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See”
by Fr. Richard Rohr

Which leads me to tap:

I know that through out this day I am going to face trails and struggles…some will be created by the situation…while others will be created by my choices…some will be big and some will be small…the emotions I feel in these moments will be real…but I know that they will not all reflect the truth…I pray that I am able to recognize in every trail and struggle that I face…that I am able to see this as another moment of healing…I am not seeking out struggle for the sake of growth…but know that in these moments of struggle I will be given the opportunity to heal and grow…help me on this day not to give way to bitterness…hopelessness…and…disconnection from the love of God…give me vision to see God's presents in all moments…help me to know that God's love is not something I need to seek…but that it is full here…and I need to simply accept it…I know that struggle can make me jaded and bitter…preventing me form not only miss God's love in this moment, but the next as well…struggle is not the enemy…bitterness is…I can make loving choices in the middle of struggle…it is hard for me to make loving choices in the midst of my own bitterness…help me not to dismiss struggle…but to see it for what it truly is

Pod #28: It’s Not Surrogate But It Helps Others To Make Different Choices

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I often receive questions about how to tap in order to change someone else’s behavior. There are some very specific implementations of surrogate Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping, such as in the work I do with autistic children and their parents. But it is not as simple as tapping to change other people’s choices. We can't tap to change someone else’s free will, but we can tap to create an environment where others have a chance to make new and better choices. In this podcast I explain three ways in which we can help others to make different choices: by working on our own emotions, making others feel loved and safe, and by not bringing our own issues to the table.

Resources for this podcast:

Further resources on surrogate tapping:

Pre-Emptive Tapping (5 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 5 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Mai Bui

Most of the time when it comes to our mindless eating we know where our problem spots are. Not only do we know the types of food that cause us problems, we know the situations that are going to be hard for us. Going out with friends, the donuts that are at work on Monday, and heading to any sort of party can cause us worry.

It would be great to believe that will power would be enough in the situations that we know are going to be hard for us. The reality is there are going to be times when will power is not enough until we get the issues that are underlying the mindless eating under control. Until this is accomplished we can tap ahead of time to insure we are going to make healthier choices.

Step one is tune into the level of craving we believe we might feel in the problem situation. For example, if we are going to a party where there is going be lots of yummy sweets just image what it is going to be like around all your temptation foods. By doing this you should be able to get a good sense of how hard it is going to be.

Step two is to tap on what is coming. For the party example the patter might look something like this:

I know I am going to go into a situation where I am going to be surrounded by foods I am going to crave…there is a very specific reason why my body is going to crave these things…but right now those underlying root causes don't matter…those are things I can deal with in the future…I know that by doing so work right now I am going to insure that I am going to make better choices…my system knows exactly the types foods I need for the short or long term…not in terms of using food to cover up some immediate need…but instead my body knows exactly what it needs to be strong and healthy so it can grow and thrive…I give this part of my body permission to tune into the part of me that knows how to deal with these situations…I give the part of my body that knows exactly the right choices to come forward…and to be with me at the party…I know that I can and will make good choices at this party…any part of me that wants to eat my cravings I tune into right know…I thank that part of me that wants to eat my craving foods because it is trying to take care of me…I am not thanking it for the choices that it is trying to make…but instead I am thanking it for wanting to take care of me…even if eating these cravings doesn't serve me…in part of me that wants to eat healthy food will be present with me in a powerful way the rest of the day…even if there is no food that it good for me to eat…I can survive and make good…healthy…eating choices.

Step three is to tune back in the how you image you are going to feel at the party. At this point you should feel that you are more confident that you are going to make good eating choices. If you are not feeling confident then do a little more tapping.

There are few things to keep in mind. First, pre-emptive tapping is useful for any situation that we are stepping into that we know is going to be hard. This is not just for cravings. We can tap ahead of time for situations that we know are going to be hard, emotional, or unknown. Just tap for the issues and emotions as if they are happening now while you are imaging what is going to happen.

Second, this is not going to insure that you are going to be craving free, but our goal is not to be craving free. Our goal is to make healthy eating choices. Even we have craving we are able to make good eating choices, but it becomes much harder when the craving is a 7 on a scale of 10 verses when it is a 3. By doing this tapping we are going to knock out at least part of the craving ahead of time (if not all of it). By doing this you are going to reduce the craving to the point that it will be easier for you to make healthy choices.

In part 6 of this series we will look at our relationship to food.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

“But I Don’t Know How to!”

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[Note: This article is by AnaMaria Herrera. AnaMaria Herrera, EFT Practitioner and Trainer, teaches EFT fans and practitioners how to get great results that last with Emotional Freedom Techniques. Through her workshops, coaching programs, and products, AnaMaria shows her participants and clients how to use EFT to resolve their chronic conditions and reach their goals.]


photo by Thomas Roche

There is a lot of things I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner. I don't know where I'll be in 20 years time. And I don't know how to change a flat tire on my bike (I wish I did!)

But I do know one thing for sure. That when we focus on an area of our life this is yucky we gain power.

We are taking a stand for greatness and change in our own lives. Especially when using the word ‘DECIDE.' Say one of these aloud:

“I've decided to…
… work on my self -confidence
… focus on my finances so I can have more abundance
… start that online business or go back to school
… have my business/job take a back seat so I can tend to my love life
… lose the weight and have a healthy relationship with food”

Feel the power and energy in those words?

Even if you don't know HOW you are going to accomplish the goal, the first step is always deciding!

When you decide, you're setting energy, attention, and focus to that area of your life. Talk about power! Can I share a personal story here?

Some years ago I had a physical condition that conventional or alternative medicine couldn't heal.

I remember thinking, “I've tried EVERYTHING!”

Being in the health care field I thought I saw every modality there was.

But somehow I decided (even though I didn't know the solution at the time) to reach out and try one more time. The act of deciding brought me to a lovely practitioner. What did she teach me?

Emotional Freedom Techniques. And the rest, they say, is history.

But I had to first DECIDE!

YOUR SUCCESS ASSIGNMENT
Choose one (1) area that you are going to focus on. Maybe it's in the area of health, finances, or a creative pursuit. Which one feels/looks the most messy or nagging you?

Now let's tap together:

Even though…
I don't know how I'm going to accomplish _____________________
I've deciding to be open to it
Even though…
I'm afraid to focus in this area because of the
sadness/pain/disappointment I feel, and I've tried before, I'm
deciding to give myself another chance
Even though…
I don't know where to begin to have/be/do ______________,I'm
intending to draw the resources and support I need to assist me

reminder phrases:
– I don't know how
– I'm deciding to be open
– I'm afraid still
– what if I fail?- I've decided to move forward, even if I don't know how yet
– I need help!
– what if I attract the resources and help I need?
– I'm deciding I deserve this

Deciding can be scary.

Lucky for us, we have our secret weapon, EFT, to calm our fears so we are in a confident state to have, be and do what we really want.

Dealing With Mindless Eating (4 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Mo Riza

One of the most difficult parts of releasing weight is making changes to how we eat. There are two aspects to changing the way we eat: mealtime eating and between meal eating.

When it comes to meal planning: I am not a nutritionist and would encourage you to find the right meal plan that makes the most sense for your goals, body type, age,a nd general health.

The mindless eating we do between meals is a different matter. When I am speaking “mindless eating” I am talking not only about cravings but also comfort eating and the eating we do that we are not thinking about at all (such as eating while watching tv). The meal plan you craft for yourself is a very mindful way of eating; therefore, all of the other eating you do is mindless.

There are already a number of resources on the site that show the many aspects of mindless eating. Many of these resources talk about a specific type of craving (one even uses smoking as an example), but each of these approaches and examples can be used for all types of mindless eating.

How To Kill Craving
I have decided (once again) that I need to cut caffeine out of my diet. In the past I have given it up cold turkey but have ended up with withdrawal headaches. Is there a way that I can use EFT to help me kick the caffeine habit in a pain-free way?

Kill your Cravings (part 2)
Right now I’m having trouble with cravings. There are times I crave Diet Dr. Pepper, but I don’t like the taste. I almost feel like a person possessed. I must consume it even though I don’t enjoy it. How do I use EFT to kill this type of craving?

Bridging From Physical Feelings To The Emotion and Memories That Are Underneath (Pod #17)
In the podcast I share part of a client session around the issue of quitting smoking. Even if you are not a smoker you are going to find this very helpful and informative. This session provides a number of very clear examples of how we can bridge from a physiological feel (in this case the desire to smoke a cigarette) to thoughts and memories from the past.

Zapping Cravings w/ Pat Carrington (Pod #21)
One of the most common uses of tapping is weight release and craving control. In this interview Pat talks about the basic steps we need to take to be success in weight release. After giving this overview Pat talks emotional eating and then talks in very specific term about the mindless eating we do and how we can use tapping to deal with the craving eating and the habitual eat (e.g. eating every time we watch tv).

In part 5 of this series we will look at what we can do before we get into situation of temptation.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #27: EFT For Your Professional Life w/ Pamela Bruner

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We spend up to one half of our waking hours at work. Not only is it important that we have an effective way of dealing with the stress of our jobs, but we also need to help manage the way this stress might affect the rest of our lives. In this interview with Pamela Bruner we talk about how we can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping to deal with workplace stress, how to use tapping to improve our performance at work, and how to keep work stress from creeping into other parts of our lives.

 

Pamela Bruner

Guest: Pamela Bruner

Contact:web @ MakeYourSuccessEasy.com, twitter @ Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessReal.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, facebook @ MakeYourSuccessEasy;
phone @ 888-403-4057

About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Business Success Coach, author, speaker, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) expert. After removing her own marketing fears to grow her business from $375/month to $1,000,000 annually in less than 3 years, Pamela specializes in working with conscious entrepreneurs to build six- and seven-figure businesses by removing their fears and blocks around marketing and sales. She is co-author of ‘EFT and Beyond – Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation', and is the co-author of the book and DVD ‘Tapping into Ultimate Success’ with Jack Canfield, author of ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul'.

Resources from this episode:

Limiting Beliefs About Money

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I would like to be more financially successful, but for some reason I just keep making really poor choices. It is almost as if a part of me wants me to stay poor. I don't even know where to begin with this issue. Do you have any suggestions?


photo by Andrew Magill

Like lots of issues, when we struggle with financial success it is often because we believe there is some penalty for having more money. On the surface that might seem silly that there is a penalty for having money. Many of these beliefs are not only rooted in our subconscious but are also rooted in our culture.

For example, we might fear being rich because a part of us believes that “All rich people are jerks!” We know this not to be true, but think of every rich person as they are portrayed in movies, tv shows, and books. Other than Daddy Warbucks from Annie I can't think of a single nice rich person in fiction. When we recognize these facts it is becomes very obvious on how we might hold this sort of belief in our subconscious.

The part of us that is preventing us from being financially successful is protecting us. By keeping us from being financially successful it is keeping us becoming a jerk.

I have found that when it comes to this sort of limiting belief the easy way to deal with it is through a kind of conversation Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping where we state both sides of the argument. It might look something like this:

All people who are rich are jerks…I know this isn't true…but when you are rich you only think of yourself…I know lots of rich people who have do good work…but you have to step on people to get rich…but not everyone who is rich has gotten rich by stepping on people…it is possible to get rich and help people at the same time…when you are rich you only hang out with rich people and you will forget where you came from…I can become rich and still keep my friends and connections…

That is only the beginning of the tapping, but you can easily see how all you are doing is stating both sides of the argument and tapping away.

Here is a great list of limiting beliefs about money and financial success published at the web site money-attraction.com

1. Rich people are greedy and dishonest
2. I could become overly dependent on money.
3. It will tarnish my sense of who I am as a person.
4. I’ll become a greedy and uncaring person.
5. I’ll attract the unwanted envy of others.
6. I will do wrong if I become rich
7. I will become a bad man if I have a lot of money
8. It’ll make me stand out and I’ll lose my privacy.
9. If I get rich I’ll abandon my values
10. I can’t be rich and spiritual!
11. If I’m successful, my friends will be jealous and stop liking me
12. I’m no better than my parents, so I shouldn’t make more than they did
13. I might forget what’s truly important and not like the person I’ve become
14. Money is dirty.
15. Money is the root of all evil
16. Money is not spiritual
17. It’s a sin to be rich
18. I am poor but I am a good man
19. I will never have enough money
20. I can’t get ahead
21. I’m not worthy
22. I’ll probably just fail anyway
23. We can’t afford anything we want
24. I’m not smart enough to be wealthy!
25. It is too greedy for me to earn more than ** in a month
26. It is impossible for me to earn so much
27. Friends around me don’t make so much money, so do I
28. Financial success will mean working all the time
29. You have to lie and cheat to get rich
30. It takes too much effort to earn it.
31. Money doesn’t grow on trees!
32. I have to work harder if I want to earn more money!
33. It is greedy/bad/joking to making money easily and effortlessly
34. It is impossible for me to making money effortlessly and easily
35. Getting by is good enough
36. I don’t deserve it.
37. I’m not like those people
38. There is virtue in poverty, and wealthy people are morally bankrupt.
39. Those who have figured out a way to achieve wealth and financial security are just lucky.
40. Only people who have access to large amounts of money from family and friends can be assured financial success
41. There are limits to how one can attain wealth and how much money one can make.
42. Saving money means making money
43. Spending money is far faster than making money
44. I can’t charge too much
45. Never lend money to others
46. I must save money for unexpected things
47. I hate/envy those wealthy people
48. I work to pay for the debt
49. I can’t afford what my wife/someone loves
50. I can’t buy what I like most but the cheapest because I have to save for the unexpected

Podcast 15 is all about tapping for financial success. You should also check out 3 Keys To Having and Keeping Finacial Abundance in the Tapping Q & A online store.

[Note: As I wrote this article I had a very hard time writing the word “rich”. I could easily write “financially successful”. Obviously there is a limiting belief I have about the work “rich”. I guess I should tap on that!]

Pod #26: Weight and Emotion w/ Catherine Poole (part 3 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 3 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]

The extra weight that we hold is often times associated with and symptoms of deeper emotional issues. In this interview Catherine Poole talks about what emotions are most often associated with the different problems areas of weight gain. Once we are able to understand the emotional roots of the weight we are carrying it becomes easier for us to release both the emotional wound as well at the physical weight.
[Read more…] about Pod #26: Weight and Emotion w/ Catherine Poole (part 3 of 10)

Not Knowing Where To Start

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I am new to Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping and love it, but I don't know where to start. I set time aside everyday to tap. When I sit down to tap either nothing comes to mind or everything comes to mind all at once. I know there are lots of areas of my life that need transformation. Any suggestion on getting started?


photo by Jon Marshall

One of the misconceptions we have about tapping is the belief that we need to know what we are going to be tapping on before we start tapping. We think, “I need to know exactly the issue at hand and what I am going to use as my set-up phrases before I can begin.”

Here are few suggestions that will help you when you find yourself in this situation.

Tap While You Are Trying To Figure Out What To Tap On
Yes, it is true the more specific we are the faster we are going to find results. This does mean that we are going to be unsuccessful while we are being unspecific. As a starting point I recommend that you tap while you are trying to figure out what the issue is you would like to tap on.

For example, you know that work is causing you stress. There could be lots of reasons for this. It could be your relationship with your co-workers, a demanding supervisor, a pressing dead line, or work that is unfulfilling. It might even be many or all of these things.

It is a good idea to figure out exactly what part of your workday that is causing you stress. Instead of making this two steps, figuring out the issue(s) and tapping, why not do both at the same time. While you are thinking though your workday and all the relationships you have with co-workers you should be tapping. Not only will this help you clarify the issues faster it will also start to bring relief before you do your specific tapping for an issue.

This process can be used for any and all parts of your life. You know that you want better health, stronger relationships, success in your work, ease at public speaking, or anything else. Just start tapping, moving from point to point, as you think about this part of your life. I have found when I do this I feel calmer and find my way to clarity of the real issues I need to be working on.

Tap On Not Knowing What To Tap On
Another very useful tool you can use when you don't know exactly what to tap on is to tap on not know what to tap on. It could look something like this:

I know I need to do some tapping…I know tapping has worked in the past…and it can work now…I know the more specific I am about the issue the faster tapping can work…and right now I am not sure what to tap on…but just because I don't know what to tap on…doesn't mean that I can't be successful right now…as I tap and try and figure out what to tap on…I know I am making a small bit of progress….I know I don't need to know all the details of what is at hand for progress…by relaxing about needing to know exactly what I need to work on…will make it easy for me to make progress…therefore I choose to let the problems unfold in front of me slowly….knowing the system will give me the information I need for healing when I need it….the system knows the rate I can heal safely…

I have found this sort of tapping bring clarity very quickly to very specific areas that we can tap on.

Stress About The Issus
What I have found in my practice (both in dealing with my own issues and with working with my clients) is often times the stress about an issue/situation is much trouble some than the issue/situation itself.

Often times when we are able to release and relieve the stress we have around an issue we are able to look at what is going on much more objectively and find an outcome that is very satisfactory.

To that end, when we don't know where to start with an issue and great place to start is with the stress you feel about the situation. In many cases I have found just by dealing with the stress of the issue we can find as much as 80% (and often times total) relief before we even deal with the issue at hand.

Here is a list of great ways to start off dealing with an issue.

Reframes for stress:

  • I don't have to deal with this all at once
  • I don't have to deal with all of these issues all at once
  • It might not be the big deal I am making it out to be
  • I have dealt with things tougher than this
  • People really aren't thinking of me as much as I think
  • I don't have to go diving into all the issue to heal this
  • The stress is just a signal telling me something is wrong
  • Things are not going to be this way forever
  • It might think it helping by running, but it is going to get worse by running from it
  • I can release this issue without knowing what the root causes are
  • I can release this issue without having to know what the original event was
  • I can release this issue without having to dive in the a past painful memory

If you follow these three approaches you will find your way to what the specifies are you need to tap on as well as to relief quickly with tapping.

Pod #25: Psychological Reversal w/ Gwenn Bonnell

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One of the most often used terms and at the same time most misunderstood term used by people in the Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping community is “psychological reversal”. In this interview, in easy to understand language, Gwenn Bonnell describes what PR is, what is symptoms are, and many techniques for clearing it.

[Note: Out of all of the interview I have done in the last year this is the one I personally learned the most from.]

Guest: Gwenn Bonnell

Contact Gwenn: web @ TapIntoHeaven.com; email @ gwenn@tapintoheaven.com; phone @ 954 370 1552

About Gwenn: Gwenn is a writer, teacher and lecturer. She offers private sessions and training and workshops at Heaven On Earth in Davie, Florida. A graduate of the College of Health and Human Development, Penn State University, she is a member of the ACEP, Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and has trained personally with Gary Craig (developer of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques), Dr. Larry Nims (BSFF, Be Set Free Fast), Tapas Fleming (TAT, Tapas Acupressure Techniques), Donna Eden and David Feinstein (Energy Medicine), Sandi Radomski (Allergy Antidotes), Alan Handelsman (Muscle Testing), Paul Burdelski (Touch for Health), and Piilani (Huna Kane).

My Goal Isn’t Believable (2 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 2 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Hans Gerwitz

One of the most difficult things about weight release is believing that we can achieve our goals. Often we are often carry the baggage of failed past attempts at weight release, a family history of carrying too much weight, and the fact that we have held the weight for so long it seem that is stuck and can't possibly be released.

In my own life there are few emotions that I enjoy less than the feeling of failure. Often when we fail we have to face the fact that we are incapable of doing something, we feel we have wasted time and effort, and that others are going to see us as less because of our failing.

Because of these fears it is very easy to see why it is so hard for us act. There is a part of us that sees the consequences of us failing. The way it protects us from feeling all of these emotions associated with failure is it creates situation where we self sabotage ourselves. In the short term it is keeping us safe from feeling bad about failing, but in the long term it is preventing us form achieving our goals.

This is not only true for weight release, but can also be true for any goal that we are trying to achieve. For this reason I think one of the most important steps we can take when we are tapping for a change in behavior or tapping to help us achieve a future goal is to tap for clearing the fear of failure.

Here are some tapping patters for some of the most common reasons and emotions associated with failure.

Fear Of Failing

I don't want to fail…failing is no fun…when I fail at any task…it points out my short coming to myself…and to others…when I try something and fail…it is a giant waste of time…I could be using this time at something I am good at…but I choose to know that failure is not inevitable…it is possible that I might not fail this time…I don't always fail…I also know that there have been times in which I have failed that have been good for me…I have learned valuable lessons in may of my failings…if I only try the things that I know are going to work out…then I am going to try nothing new…I am never going to grow…there are times in my life where I have tried new things…and they didn't work out the way I would have liked…but they did work out in a way that was beneficial for me…there are also many lessons that I can learn in failing…this does not mean I need to seek failure out…but I can takes this moments of failure and use them as a way to grow and develop…I also might surprise myself by what I am able to achieve…there are times in which I have underestimated myself…and what I can achieve…I give myself permission to try…I give myself permission to know it might not work out…but it is still worth trying…because if I succeed there is a chance for growth…and if I fail there is a chance for learning…both are good for me in the long run.

I Have Failed Before At Weight Release

I have tried to release weight in the past and have failed…I failed before and I am going to fail again…there is no reason to try…because it is going to be a giant waste of time…I might as well just be resigned to the fact this is the way it is…but I choose to know there are times in the past in which I did not succeed the first time I tried…there are times where I learned many lessons before I got it right…there were also times where I made the same mistake over and over again before I got it right…but I did get it right…there are many times I have tried in the past to release this weight that did not work…and there are lots of reasons for this…but this is a new time…and a new way…if I try and release this weight and fail I am still in the same spot…but if I try and release weight and succeed that is progress I want…so by trying I am not going to make it worse…but I do have a chance to make it better….I choose to learn the lessons from all the attempts in the past that did not work…and use this knowledge to move forward in a new way…I know that the frustration of not being successful and choose to take the frustration of failure in the past…and transform that energy into a motivating energy to make better choices…I it no longer beating me up for the past…but now becomes my greatest cheer leader and encourager…moving me forward in a way that will help to breed success

Everyone In My Family Is Over Weight So I Will Be As Well

Everyone in my family is over weight…it is just how we are…you can't fight your gene pool…some people are just over weight because that is how there body is made…I have seen many family members try and release weight in the past and failed…therefore there is no hope for me…but I choose to know there is more to weight than genetics…there are whole groups of people in my family who have choose the buy into the same world view…and are creating a situation which makes it ease for all of them to continue to hold the extra weight…this does not have to be my way…there are other parts of my life in which I have choose an different path than the rest of the family…we are not all exactly alike…by choose to release weight I am not dismissing or abandoning my family…I am still part of the family…I am just choosing my own way…maybe my choices will model for the rest of the family that this sort of transformation is possible…just because it has been this way for my family doesn't mean it has to be this way for me…I know weight is more than just genetics

My Goal Is Too Big

There is no way I am going to achieve my goal…because it is just too big…it would be one thing if I was trying to release much less weight…but I am so far behind there is no way I am going to catch up…it is too late because the goal is so big…but I choose to know that weight release it not for the short term…to create a change for my entire lifetime…I am not only effecting today…but am effecting my whole life…this is process that is going to happen little by little…as much as I would like to release all this weight all at once…it is much healthy for me to release it a little at a time…it is safer for my body to release weight in a natural way…because I can't release it all at once I don't need to worry about releasing it all…I have satisfied in the fact that my goal in the short term can be much smaller…as I achieve each of these smaller short term goals…I will be working to my long term goal…by working to my long term goal in small ways…it becomes much more achievable…therefore my long term goal is not too big…because it is something that will take time…but will impact the rest of my life.

In part 3 of this series I interview Catherine Poole about the association of specific emotions and our problem areas.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.