Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

How To Tap Surrogately For Animals

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Last week I was in Portland, OR visiting my sister. On Saturday we took my sister's dog Addison to the vet for a regular check-up and to have her nails trimmed. (The photo is of Addison looking at me while I was doing client sessions from my sister's.)

Addison doesn't like having her nails cut. She was already a little skittish, but when the time came to have them done she did everything she could to hide in a room that had no hiding place. It took my sister and a vet tech to get Addison on the ground and hold her down, while another vet tech clipped her nails.

She started to fight. Every time a nail was clipped she would jump (or jumped as much as a dog can with two humans holding her down with all their strength).

Then I started to tap. It was very simple. I just moved from point to point and thought of all the things that Addison might be feeling.

This is scary
I don't know what is happening
That hurts
I am confused

My thoughts weren't any more complicated than that. Within 20 seconds Addison was completely limp and relaxed. My sister took her weight off Addison and removed both of her arms.

For the next 45 seconds Addison didn’t move while the vet tech clipped away. She didn't twitch, she didn't flinch, and she didn't yelp.

When the job was done she jumped up, shook off her coat, and went for the treat I was offering her.

Based on this experience I thought it would a great time to reshare an awesome interview I did with Susan Peach about how to tap for animals. In addition to the audio you will find the transcript of the interview below. I would love to hear your stories about tapping with animals in the comments section.

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Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping is not only a powerful tool in transforming our own lives, but we can use it to care for our loved ones. This is not limited to just humans, but we can extend this love and care through tapping to our animals as well. In this episode I talk with Susanne Peach about how tapping for animals is similar and different to surrogate tapping for humans. Susan gives a number of very practical tips in how you can start tapping right way for your animals.

 


Susanne Peach

Guest: Susanne Peach

Susanne's Contact Info: web @ Animaleze.com, phone @ 303.926.5414, e-mail @ contact page

About Susanne: Susanne Peach, Animal Energy Behaviorist, has been surrounded by animals her entire life. She has had the opportunity to study the energy of animals in many instances, from time spent on her godmother's farm in Germany to a designation as a certified wildlife rehabilitator. After successfully using EFT on humans, she learned by trial and error how to apply it to animals. She's dedicated her life to helping animals have emotionally happy and healthy lives, tapping for animals all over the world.

Links & Resources From Episode:

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon

Want more info on surrogate tapping?

* * * Transcript * * *

Gene: What are some of the issues that we can use tapping for when we are tapping for animals?

Susanne: I would try EFT on everything for animals, believe it or not. The obvious issues would be anxiety, separation anxiety, fear of thunder, fear of the vet, everything that you can think of. But keep in mind I would also use EFT on animals as a preventive measure. For example, my dog just had an ACL surgery 3 months ago which is CCL on dogs; it’s knee surgery and there is no way of getting around it. This is one of the times of course always go to your vet. EFT isn’t meant to replace good veterinary care. While I tapped for him, for the knee surgery, here’s what I did differently, Gene. There were 4 dogs that they have in this knee surgery. I tapped for my dog before we went to the vet and when we got to the vet. Specifically when he was going under anesthesia and when he was in surgery, I asked the vet exactly what time that was. The reason why I want to ensure that his body accepted the anesthesia as being good for him at this time, that his body would appreciate it. Also, all of the changes, the cut and everything, would be in my dog’s best interest and his health’s best interest. And that he would come out of anesthesia beautifully. My dog tended to be very nervous at the vet’s office. All of the technicians and the vet said that he was the most relaxed after surgery. When they were all coming out, he came out the fastest. And so, use it on preventive care, use it for physical stuff, use it for emotional traumas. Like I said, for physical issues as well, I’ve done lots of work on different animals; horses, pet dogs, llamas. Of course EFT doesn’t cure everything, but probably the biggest is when I worked on a cat once who had cancerous tumors and after 3 months of EFT, they were gone.

Gene: Wow!

Susanne: Coincidence?

Gene: Yeah!

Susanne: So here’s what I say, that’s not always the case but try it on everything. Everything!

Gene: In doing the preventive stuff for something like a visit to the vet when you know what the procedures are is something that you know is going to be stressful for the animal. For things that are physically obvious, that makes sense. You talked about fear and separation anxiety, how are you able to figure out that’s what you’re supposed to be tapping for?

Susanne: That’s a great question Gene and that’s actually something I will have a conversation with the humans and they’ll tell me what the behaviors are, if they’re afraid of thunder and what not, but it’s not always a fear of the thunder. Sometimes we can trace it back to fear of loud noises; perhaps they were abused in previous homes or as a puppy. What I do first of all is I have a really great questionnaire that I have people fill out. Based on the questions, that kind of gives me a good idea as to what to tap on and to get to the core issue such as, when did this behavior start? When did you notice the behavior at its worst? One of the questions that I put on there, which was based on all of the work that I did and this pattern that kept coming up, is I would ask people if there was an injury or an emotional issue that has not healed, an injury that hasn’t healed. Maybe it’s been 9 to 10 months or a year and you’ve done everything as a good veterinary care. Then I ask the question, what is going on in your life, in the human’s life in the time of the injury or at the time this trauma first occurred? It is so interesting Gene to see how many times – I would say 80% to 90% of the time – we can find something significant in the person’s life that the animal took on and affected the animal. Do you want to hear an example of that?

Gene: That would be great, yeah!

Susanne: I worked with a man, he called me about his dog who had injured his leg 9 months previously and the leg was not healed and he was very concerned. I asked a lot of questions and then I asked what was going on in your life. The guy said, “Nothing really.” And I said, “OK, how about a couple of months before the injury?” He said, “You know what, that’s when my investments had gone down so drastically that I found I had to work an extra year. I had planned on retiring and now I had to work an extra year and I was so upset and I didn’t feel secure.” Here’s the crazy thing, I thought let’s try to tap on that. I tapped on the animal; even though I didn’t feel secure, even though there were changes, even though my daddy was so upset and he was worried, I choose to know I’m safe. ****, the dog didn’t get better. So just try it, go for it.

Gene: It sounds like the investigation that we do with our animals is the exact same investigation that we do when we’re tapping on our own issues as far as looking at history, recognizing one thing and things like that. And then on the other hand, there is also a second level of investigation that happens in regards to doing the investigation around the humans and the way that the animals take on and emotionally mirror what’s going on in their caretakers’ lives.

Susanne: That is absolutely right because we know animals are great healers. What we are not aware of is they often mirror exactly what’s going on with us. A number of people I have talked to whose animals, particularly when they adopt animals and they don’t know what the issues are, that turn out to be the same issues that they had. Possibly the person was abused and his animal was abused or something. It’s so amazing. Or the animal takes on the issue. You’re right on that. You’re right on target.

Gene: If those are the kind of similarities, is there any dramatic difference in doing EFT with animals versus doing EFT with humans?

Susanne: Yes! Actually it was quite different. I had to work through this the hard way because I started when my dog and I were in a car accident and at that time I had not heard of anyone using EFT on animals so I had to mess around with it. What I found is most animals do not like to be tapped on in particular those animals who are abused. The horses that I worked on, that I had to rescue, obviously it’s not safe for you to work on very hyper animals. I even worked on charging cows and such. Yes, we surrogate tap with humans but what is different with surrogate tapping for animals is that there are a couple of different things to know. You take on their persona, think of it from the animal’s point of view when we tap. That’s what I do. Also what I found totally by accident is when I surrogate tap on animals, I will often feel something within my body or an image comes up that is totally unrelated to me or anything I’ve experienced. When I start tapping on whatever it is that comes up, often the animal’s issues will go away.

Gene: That sounds very similar to the experiences I’ve had with surrogate tapping for humans. That sense of placing ourselves in their point of view and also paying attention to what arises as we do that and oftentimes find our way to really good information. When we tap for our animals, we’re not in a circumstance where we have the same communication that we have with one of our regular clients. I can’t turn to the dog and say what’s your SUDs and he’s going to bark 4 times to let me know where it is from zero to ten. How do I know if one, if I’m being successful; and two, if I’ve done enough work or if I need to continue doing the work because there is some relief but I don’t know if we’re done or not?

Susanne: That’s another time where it is different to do EFT on animals. Here’s what I do. In testing the work, sometimes I don’t know exactly what the core issue is or I don’t even know what the real issue is. So what I’ll do is what Gary Craig called Golden Garbage. I’ll start tapping and it’s so amazing to see how many times the animal will respond. They will have subtle changes in their behavior and this why it’s really important to understand what normal behaviors are in each of these different animals. If I’m tapping on a horse and I’m not sure if it’s right but suddenly it starts licking its lips and you know he’s getting relaxed and I know I’m heading in the right direction. Another time I worked on a dog and I wasn’t really sure as to what the issue was contributing to the emotional behavior. I just started tapping and as soon as I started tapping, “Even though I’m upset that Jennifer…”. – a teen girl in the household went away to college – the dog started moving kind of doing that bike ride like there was no tomorrow, just shaking. I knew I was on to something. When I find that there is some kind of an issue, perhaps the animal becomes more agitated, I might back off a little but I know I’m in the right area. I’ll just keep tapping on that until the animal relaxes. It’s true. In some cases, we don’t know right away if we’ve done a great job with the animal, if we’re done with them. But what I always do is I always tell the people, give it 24 hours. If we don’t see results in this session for whatever reason, give the animal 24 hours because there is something strange that happens with animals, Gene, that I have found has not happened with most humans. Many animals take about 24 hours for the changes to occur. It could be that they’re in the protective mode, they’re holding on to it, whatever. I always tell the people don’t be discouraged if you don’t see any changes in this session because EFT continues working over time. There are ways that we can test our work. I was working with a dog who was terrified of loud noises, not just thunder but shotguns and everything. You can do the testing of the work without bringing in thunder obviously but mind you when you test it, start off with something small. So when we do some tapping, she’d clap her hands and see if the dog has finally moved on. But if I’m not sure, I’ll just keep tapping and I’ll check in with the person too. A lot of the work with animals is intuition; knowing when to keep going, knowing when we’re done. Something else that comes into play is I will ask the person, “While we’re tapping, did you have any memories of anything?” This is another component; we can talk about the chain of worry. But the person say, “Oh yeah, when you we’re tapping with that with my cat, I remembered when I was a little girl, this happened”. So whether it was related to the cat or not, it’s worth tapping on the person by coming back to the cat because we are so connected to our animals that they do pick up on so much. Does that make sense?

Gene: Absolutely! That makes perfect sense. So let’s say that I’m in a circumstance where I’m working with my pet and I have a pretty good idea if I think what’s going on. I spend some time tapping for them, tapping with them. I don't necessarily get any physiological response I wait 24 hours. I don’t notice any change even though I’ve given it some space and some time. What are some of the reasons that will prevent me from being successful of tapping with my animal?

Susanne: The number one reason that I come across over and over when you’re working on your own animals is not getting yourself out of the way. I wrote this article called Chain of Worry because I found it happened to me as much as I have worked with animals. It was happening when I was working with one of my dogs. Here’s what it is. We are so connected to our animals, there’s almost this invisible chain between our hearts. When I would work on the animal and clear out their issues, if I hadn’t worked on the worry that concerned the anxiety that we feel for the animal then the animal will pick up on that and their issues come back again.

Here’s what I found: I first had to work on the person and I think about 80% to 90% of the time where I will tap on the person about their fears and anxieties and concerns for the animal, what this does is it gets them out of the way. It gets their outcome out of the way, relying on the outcome. And it gets them out of the way so that can clearly tap on the animal. I definitely know that you don’t care about the animal, you don’t notice when something is going on, or you don’t love them anymore but we need to break that chain so that our animals aren’t constantly feeding off of it. Once you start tapping on your own concerns like, “Even though I’m so worried about Rover. What if he doesn’t get feel? He’s my best friend. I choose to be grateful for having him as he is.” And when you do that, the animal will relax quite a bit more and we can get through the issues faster.

Gene: You know I love that advice. I give that exact same advice for anyone who’s tapping surrogately for anything. That there’s such an amazing power when we’re able to get ourselves clear and get ourselves out of the way and get whatever we are helping to co-create in that circumstance cleaned up because that is always the easiest place for us to do work because that’s our own stuff.

Susanne: Exactly!

Gene: So I really love that and I think that’s great to point that out here. So, what capacity can our animals benefit from the borrowing benefits of us doing tapping?

Susanne: The borrowing benefit as you know is probably one of the most powerful tools in EFT. In particular with animals, I find this is yet an untapped area. I would love to see all humane society using this because in many times I have gone into a group of animals. For example, I was hired by a woman who trains service dogs. I walked into the house and there were like 8 dogs. They were all hyper and in a frenzy. I just do a group tapping and they all calmed down. Calming them down was great with borrowing benefits. You can do it intentionally. Do a group tapping. Or you can set the intention which most of us do now. But before every session or at the beginning of every session I always ask, what are the issues with the other animals in the house or perhaps the other people? And let’s set the intention that the tapping we do will benefit them. Here’s a really great thing that hopefully everyone will be seeing soon is last year the EFT organization came on a film. We’re working on a dog and some horses. When we got to this corral with the horses, we sat down. They were pretty antsy. There were about 11 of them. They were spread out and kind of running around. We quite set the intention that the tapping we’re doing for this one particular horse that I was brought out to work on will benefit all of the rest of the horses and whatever issues that they have. We have cameras there, we have new people there. It was a bit of a change for these horses. It was the most amazing thing that after about 10 minutes, one of the cameraman said “Look at that.” They turned around and all of the horses had gathered right behind us where we were sitting. They all had dropped their heads; their eyes were closed, totally relaxed, totally comfortable with us. I asked the woman,“Is this normal?” She said, “No, they usually don’t calm down this fast.” So think of the way we can use it in humane society. Another really good example is we recently had wildfires here in Boulder, Colorado. I had worked with some llamas on a ranch and unfortunately the wildfires got really close to the llama ranch this year. In fact the fire has burned down the house of the owner. It was very traumatic. All of the llamas were safe, the 126 llamas were safe but the woman was pretty distraught. Understand that when wildfires get that close to animals, they go into that natural panic mode because they’re fighting for their survival. So I went out the next day and spent about 6 hours with these llamas, tapping all of them at once about the fears of the wildfires. It’s not to say that they won’t run when wildfires come again but it’s to know that now they’re safe, the wildfires are out. And also they’re safe even though the woman that owned the ranch was still very distraught. There’s so many ways we can use borrowing benefits.

Gene: So what would be the one thing you would tell someone who has some EFT experience and it’s the first time they’re going to try and use the protocol to work with their animal? What’s the first thing you would tell them to keep in mind or the first thing you would tell them to help them to be at ease as they do that work?

Susanne: It’s probably the same thing I teach in my EFT classes. As I say, tap on yourself to get yourself out of the way and then ask that the words come through you that would most benefit the animal. Once you tap on getting yourself out of the way and just go with it, pay attention to what comes up. That’s really important. Also be very specific with the animal; use the same movie techniques, use the same thing, be very specific about issues with animals. Don’t tap on, “even though I have this anxiety,” that’s too general.

Gene: Good!

Susanne: I tell everyone try it. The one thing is it can’t hurt but sometimes you can make an animal agitated if you found the core issue just like with people and things get a little worse. I always tell people the phrase to bring in with animals, which pertains to people as well but most especially with animals, is to bring in the phrase, “Even though this is going on, I choose to know I’m safe. Even though this is happening, I am absolutely safe and secure now” because the bottom line for animals is their safety.

Gene: Great! Well, thank you very much for your time.

Susanne: You are so welcome. There are lots and lots of stories out there and lots of examples. This is the least that we can do for animals. It’s so wonderful to finally have this fantastic method to address the emotional behaviors and challenges of animals. They give us so much love and unconditional love which we don’t get anywhere else. So it’s the very least that you can do. One other thing that I do want to say is another wonderful tip in working with animals is people who have trouble tapping on themselves, and we’re all guilty of that, sometimes we don’t take the time or we don’t feel comfortable tapping on our own issues, I tell people tap on your pet’s issues and set the intention that you’re working on your own issues. It’s a borrowing benefit. By working through the animal on yourself, you’ll be quite surprised to see how well that really works.

Gene: That’s a really great way to get around our own resistance. I like that a lot. Cool!

Susanne: Yeah! It is really quite fun.

Gene: Again, thank you very much for your time!

Susanne: You are so welcome Gene, thank you!

Pod #105: What Mistakes Do Beginner And Pro Tappers Make & The Most Effective Ways To Tap

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Over the last few weeks I have shared with you thoughts from some of my favorite tappers. I asked them what mistakes beginners and pros make, as well as what they have found to be the most effective ways to tap.

In this week’s podcast I take on all three questions:

  • What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Pro Tappers?
  • What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Beginner Tappers?
  • What Have You Found To Be The Most Successful Approaches To EFT?

In answering the third question I share the tool I use more than any other when working with clients.

I would love to hear your responses to these questions. Just add your thoughts in the comments below.

1) Name the issue
2) Name the emotion/feeling
3) Name where and how you feel it in the body
4) Thank the emotion for its work
5) Let the system know there is no judgement
6) Ask it what it sees could go wrong
7) Ask it what proof it has could go wrong
8) Bring it the information it needs

Video: How To Tap For A Memory That Is Still Affecting You Today

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Until recently, every time someone made a particular hand gesture I would experience a jab of negative emotion. Once I figured out the root of the pain, a painful moment when someone else had used this same motion, I was able to tap for it.

Here is a short video of me tapping for this issue for the very first time where you can see the process unfolding step by step. I would love to hear your thoughts on this process in the comments.

Pod #104: EFT For Feeling Invisible And Being Invisible w/ Rue Hass

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In my client sessions and even in my personal tapping I have noticed an interesting internal conflict. On the one hand we want to be seen, noticed, and validated. On the other, there is a part of us wanting to go through the world unseen and unnoticed, because if we are seen we can be judged.

In this interview I talk with Rue Hass about this dichotomy. We look at what it means to be invisible, how we end up being invisible, and how it is possible to be invisible to our own selves. We also talk about how we can use EFT to become our more authentic selves which makes being invisible less of an issue.


Rue Hass

Guest: Rue Hass

Contact Info: IntuitiveMentoring.com, rue (at) intuitivementoring (dot) com

How Rue describes herself: When I first meet a new client/customer/co-creative partner, I walk them through an interesting process of understanding their life as a story. It concludes with asking them to consider what they want their life to leave in the world as a legacy. How do they want the world to be a better place for their having been in it?

When I contemplate this in myself, and ask, “What do I want to focus on in this phase of my life, as a culmination of everything I have learned and gained?”, what emerges for me is the concept of “spiritual eldering.” This impulse finds expression in my work with individuals and local groups, inviting and assisting people and communities to move into a sense of the real transformative power of their spiritual Presence in the world.

I particularly like to work with young people, adolescents and young adults as a mentor/coach. I have always been drawn to the kind of kid who might find him/herself in trouble in school, academically or socially, but who on the inside is bright, sensitive, perceptive, intuitive, often artistic or athletic, deep hearted and imaginative, and who just doesn’t fit the norm. I want to make it easier for these young people to find their place in the world. I think they are here to save it.

Make sure you check out all of Rue's guest articles and podcasts on Tapping Q and A.

What Have You Found To Be The Most Successful Approaches To EFT?

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I asked a bunch of my favorite tappers what mistakes beginners and pros make when tapping. Today I have their response to the question “What have you found to be the most successful approaches to EFT”?

Jade Barbee – emotionalengine.com

  • Using specific strategies to tap on the discomfort of change.
  • Addressing past events in detail, one intense aspect at a time (personal peace journal).
  • Addressing limiting beliefs and the consequences of changing them.

Jondi Whitis – eft4results.com

  • Agreeing to meet the person wherever they are and patiently walk beside them.
  • Breathing hope into them as you patiently wade through the specific events that hold these beliefs in place.

Ilana – positive-eft.com

  • Covering as many aspects of the same thing not in the usual way only but covering all senses.

Ann Ross – eftuk.net

  • Deep respect for the client, whatever the problem.
  • A quiet loving energetic space within.
  • Being open to miracles – always – and not expecting or anticipating them.
  • A deep intimacy/acceptance of the client and yourself.

Ange Finn – TapIntoYourself.com

  • I like combining tapping with guided imagery exercises to elicit more right–brained images and information. They can be quite powerful in combination and allow for a lot of creativity for the practitioner.

Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master – ProEFT.com

  • Being flexible, listening to your intuition, having the intention clear about your outcome and remaining open–minded.
  • It also helps to continue to grow and learn. Tapping is an ever-evolving art and will hopefully remain that way. Sometimes people want things to stay the same…and that's not always a good thing. If we are going to continue being successful, we need to allow ourselves to change, grow and evolve; personally and professionally.

Alina Frank — tapyourpower.net

  • The most successful EFT is EFT that is done thoroughly and tested exceedingly well. I also use my own Holographic EFT which assumes that everything and everyone is an illusion of my creation which I am responsible for. Matrix Reimprinting has also changed my practice and I teach it to my students because I feel strongly that no EFT education is complete without it.

Sherrie Rice Smith – EFTUniverse.com

  • When I tap with clients who are literally loaded with problems, I've had the most success, and this can be controversial, too, when I really exaggerate the issues. Many times they will cry, but it is for only perhaps 30 seconds, then the relief floods in. I'm not afraid to say what I intuitively get that they are thinking or have never admitted to another soul on earth! i.e. “I killed that baby” if I'm tapping with a client guilt laden from an abortion 30 years previously. If they feel guilt, it's usually because they are thinking that exact thought. Most admit to me that it is the thought going through their heads.

Colleen Flanagan – EmoRescue.com

  • Clearing all aspects of fear as core issues for unwanted physical, emotional, financial and mental conditions.

Steve Wells –

  • Continual tapping whilst accepting and flowing with whatever comes, thoughts or feelings, without trying to change them, and following wherever that leads.
  • Combining tapping with other ways of shifting energy and emotion, and other Energy Techniques.

Rod Sherwin – tap4health.com

  • Match the clients language, their sensory representation, their metaphors and even their speed of tapping. Also, use questions when tapping to allow the mind to fill in the answers.

Pamela Bruner – MakeYourSuccessEasy.com

  • Longer IS better – there is a huge difference in 10 min vs 30 min. If you really need to reduce a charge in order to see new possibilities, don't give up too soon.

Andy Hunt – practicalwellbeing.co.uk

  • I think a willingness to be open to your experience without fear or favour as you tap on what is going on. This requires quite a lot of humility as a lot of what turns up (at least in my experience) is not very edifying.
  • Persistence and a willingness to pursue the SUDs score down to zero, some of the most important stuff is often hidden between 2 and 0.

Pod #103: Using EFT To Deal With The Fears Of Being A Practitioner w/ Jenn Goddard

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It has been exciting to see EFT move increasingly into the mainstream. As tapping has grown in popularity more and more people are wanting to share what they have learned with others and become EFT practitioners.

Working with clients can be a little scary at first. Instead of just doing work on your own or with friends and family members, you now have people investing their money and their trust in your skills.

Even with great training, supervision, and mentoring a new practitioner can still feel nervous. In this interview I talk to Jenn Goddard about the 3 most common fears of new practitioners and how we can use EFT to address for them.


Jenn Goddard

Guest: Jenn Goddard

Contact Jenn: web @ AriseToday.com; twitter @eft_coaching; radio show @ EFT Tapping Team

About Jenn: Jenn lives and works in Orlando Florida. She has been practicing EFT for training and mentoring for over 2 years with Forrest Samnik. She is an EFT expert practitioner and trainer through AAMET, a Matrix Reimprinting practitioner and trainer, a certified hypnotherapist, a certified NLP master practitioner, and a student of MetaHealth.

Using EFT For Goals That Are Hard To Measure

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photo by Angie Torres

I was recently working with a client, who we will call “Joe”. Joe asked, “I am starting to wonder if I am on the right path. I have a set of goals, but I can't really tell if I working towards them. I know I am working hard, but I don’t know if I am moving forward. How can I tell if I am doing the right work and making progress, or just spinning my wheels avoid the real work because I am afraid of it?”

This is a thoughtful question.

When it comes to judging our success there are two types of goals: those that are easy to measure and those that are hard to measure. As we talked it became clear that Joe's problem stemmed from the fact that he was dealing with goals that were hard to measure.

Let's look at both types to identify the problem and how we can respond.

Easy To Measure Goals

Examples of easily measurable goals are:

  • Lose 25 lb
  • Sell $3000 in products this month
  • Run a 5km race
  • Complete my college degree

The nature of these types of goals make them easy to measure. It is clear how much weight we have lost, how much we have sold, and if we have completed something like a degree or a race. Because these are easy to measure judging our progress and taking clear steps towards them is straightforward.

When the steps are clear it is easier to figure out where our emotional blocks are around the actions that we aren't taking and to work our way through the issues that cause us to sabotage our progress.

Hard To Measure Goals

Examples of hard to measure goals are:

  • Improve my mental health
  • Increase my self esteem
  • Deepen my spiritual practice
  • Be more present to my partner

These are wonderful goals and great things to work towards but Joe's question is important. How can you tell if you are really moving towards these goals when progress is not easily measurable?

To assist with this we can use a simple three step process, first to help us to see a clearer path to achieving these goals, and second to identify the emotional blocks we need to clear in order to move forward.

1) Name the proof that we have achieved our goal
Even though it is difficult to name how we can tell when we have reached a goal that is hard to measure, it is often easier to name the desired outcomes of these goals. Let's take the goal “Increase my self esteem”. Even though I can't measure my self esteem I know what my day looks like when I feel better about myself.

It might look like this:

  • I make more eye contact with my co-workers
  • I give my opinion at work
  • I ask the waiter to have my order fixed when they bring me the wrong meal
  • I end my phone conversation with my friend when she starts to belittle me

All of these outcomes are measurable and because they are measurable we can start to gauge if we are just tapping for an issue, or really doing the important work needed before we can move forward.

In the first step take some time to come up with a list of how you can tell if you are achieving a hard to measure goal. I would encourage you to come up with a list of 10 ways to measure each of these goals.

2) Identify the strategic and emotional blocks to achieving the outcomes
For each of the measurable outcomes ask yourself these 4 questions. Please write out your answers.

* What steps I can take right now to achieve this outcome?
* What emotions do I feel and thoughts do I have when I read the outcome out loud?
* What will I lose,both positive and negative, if I achieve these outcomes?
* What are the possible negative consequences for these outcomes?

Don't rush through your answers. Give yourself time to be thoughtful.

3) Tap through your answers
If you have responded thoughtfully to the first two parts of the exercise you now have a useful script to tap through. Instead of treating this like a traditional tapping script where you simply read each line and tap, I want you to take a little more time.

Read a sentence out loud as you tap and sit with the statement for a few moments. Pay attention to the thoughts and emotions that arise. After a few moments move on to the next phrase.

Conclusion

It is important that we have clearly defined measurable goals, but some goals by nature are hard to measure. If we spend time figuring out how to measure what success can look like and clear the emotional blocks to achieving these outcomes we will be able to move continually toward our goals.

I would love to hear your experience with this process in the comment section below.

Pod #102: EFT For Chronic Illness w/ Annabel Fisher

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There are few things more frustrating than chronic illness. In addition to the pain and suffering that come with the illness there is also the way that the unending nature of the symptoms grind on the system.

In this interview I talk to Annabel Fisher about her personal experience of chronic illness and how she transformed it with EFT. We also discuss the steps you can use to tap for chronic issues.


Annabel Fisher

Guest: Annabel Fisher

Contact Annabel: web @ TheEFTHealingCentre.com; facebook @ EFT with Annabel; Radio show @ Tap Into Your Healthy Self; twitter @EFTwithAnnabel; youtube @ Annabel's channel

About Annabel: Annabel Fisher started her EFT Practice in 2005 on a shoestring, with no money to speak of, and still recovering from the long term effects of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS). Having used all her savings to facilitate her recovery from illness, what she lacked in financial resources, she made up for in sheer determination! She's since enabled hundreds of clients around the world struggling with chronic illnesses to transition into a living a healthy, vibrant and fully mobile life. A Certified AAMET EFT Practitioner and Trainer, and Certified Matrix Reimprinting Practitioner and Trainer, Annabel now focuses her attention on training and mentoring students to become masterful Certified EFT and Matrix Practitioners, and empowering them to create wildly successful EFT Practices. She is the host of the radio show ‘How To Create A Wildly Successful EFT Practice', and the author of the upcoming book, ‘The Healing Game: Transforming Chronic Illness Using EFT' (pub date Nov 2014).

What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Pro Tappers?

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Two weeks ago I shared with you what a bunch of my favorite tappers think are the biggest mistakes made by beginner tappers. Now I have have some of their answers to, “What are the biggest mistakes made by pro tappers?”
[Read more…] about What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Pro Tappers?

Pod #101: What Happens When We Heal But Our Life Is No Different

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EFT is a powerful tool when it comes to healing and transformation. Burdens and wounds that we have carried for decades can be cleared. It is an amazing thing to experience this type of freedom in our lives.

After this type of release there can be a let down because after healing something so powerful we feel like our life should be much different. Sometime we can release so much and still feel the same day today.

Here are few thoughts on how to respond to the let down of things feeling like they are the same after healing something large.

Does Using EFT Erase Your Memory?

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photo by Kristin Nador

Here is part of an email I received from a reader last week:

“I had a profound experience with my first EFT session whilst just tapping along and now I'm almost scared to indulge in some more. It's as if I have large chunks of my memory missing. Am I really erasing my memories?”

This is a great question because it is a common experience. AND if we are worried that tapping will “erase” our memories it makes sense that we wouldn't want to use it.

There are two things we need to understand in order to answer this question: how memory works, and what happens to memories when using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

Your Memory Isn't Accurate

The first thing to note is that our memory is not an accurate representation of what has happened. Our memories are incomplete interpretations of the past. If you don't believe me, ask three of your family members to tell the story of what happened last year over the holidays and you will be given three different versions of events.

In addition to our memories not being a perfect representation of what happened, they also alter over time. Each time we access a memory we are not just replaying what happened, but we are also adding to it.

That is why as time goes by our past looks better and better (or worse and worse). Not only are we remembering something that happened in the past, but each time we think about this past we add positive feelings to the memory.

Many people would describe their first kiss as a magical moment. The reality may have been it was an experience shared by two 13 year olds who had no idea what they were doing, but as the moment is recalled over and over again it is slowly turned into the most magical moment ever.

The fact that tapping changes the way we remember things is not surprising because we are always changing and reforming our memories without even realizing it.

We Didn't Erase It, We Released It

Once we understand that the memory is not static we can start see what happens to our memories when we are tapping.

Our memories are not just the fact of what happened. In addition to, “she said this, he said that, and then someone walked in,” our emotion also forms part of the memory.

The memory is: She said this and felt worried. He said that and I felt overwhelmed. He walked in I felt like I had an ally.

In many cases the emotions we remember (and relive when we remember) are a large portion of the memory. When we tap on a memory we release the emotion associated with the memory.

If the memory was 70% emotion and we release all the emotion, then we are only left with 30% of the memory. When this happens it feels like the memory has been erased. It is much like if we only had 30% of the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The picture would be so incomplete we couldn't tell what we were looking at.

It Is Part Of The Healing Process

When you tap on a deeply emotional past memory there is a very real possibility that it might feel like you are erasing your memory. In really you are just letting go of the emotional charge that is part of the memory. This is a natural part of the healing process and it is OK. There is no need to worry.

AND when this happens you are freeing yourself up to fill the space occupied by the emotion with better and richer feelings.

Pod #100: The Web Of Life w/ Gwyneth Moss

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We do not live in a vacuum. Not only do the choices we make impact others (and vice versa) in the moment, but there is also a lasting impact from the relationships we have had in the past.

Some of these relationships have obvious deep impact, while others affect us in ways of which we are unaware.

In this interview I talk to Gwyneth Moss about a new approach that she uses in helping people to understand and unpack the web of life. This is a tool that she uses only occasionally because of the unique circumstances required to execute it well.

Even though this is something that you won't reproduce there are many lessons to be learned that you can add to your own tapping right away.


Gwyneth Moss

Guest: Gwyneth Moss

Contact: web @ EFThelps.com; email @ contact form; web @ Annual EFT Gathering

About Gwyneth: Gwyneth Moss is one of the original EFT Masters and the founder of the EFT Gathering annual community conference which has run since 2009. With a degree in Physics and an MBA she is known for the clarity and depth of her teaching style and for her innovative techniques which include EFT Imagineering; Protective Distancing; Projection Tapping; The Surrogate EFT Protocol and more. Gwyneth teaches EFT in the glorious countryside of Yorkshire and at Esalen, Big Sur, CA.

EFT For A Good Night’s Rest

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One of the issues I am asked about the most is tapping for a good night’s sleep. Below is the tapping script I use when I have trouble sleeping.

You can download a pdf version of the script here downloadable pdf.

[Note: If you find this script helpful I would encourage you to check MyEFTYear.com. This is the type of resource that shows up at least 4 days a week.]

Are you looking for something to help you sleep through the night? Try this right before you go to bed.

There are a number of things that didn't go as planned today.

Some of them are still on my mind.

They are floating around in the forms of regret and disappointment.

At this point there is nothing I can do about these things.

I give myself permission to let these worries and anxieties to melt away.

If I need theses worries and anxieties again tomorrow I can re-find them.

More than likely after a good night’s sleep these things will seem less daunting and tomorrow I will have the opportunity to respond in a new way.

There are a number of things that I am thinking about that are going to happen tomorrow or sometime in the future.

There is nothing that I can do about these things tonight.

The best thing that I can do about the unknown that is coming in the future is to get a good night’s sleep so that when I wake tomorrow I will be well rested and re-energized to take on these tasks and opportunities.

When I climb into bed tonight I will fall asleep easily and gently.

When my head hits the pillow my body will naturally relax.

It will happen easily and gently.

Even if I don't fall asleep right away that is OK because I know just resting in bed is going to do a lot for my system, giving it a chance to slow down and heal.

I know the part of my system that is responsible for sleep works very hard.

It wants me to sleep and to receive all the amazing benefits that come from a night of restful sleep.

I appreciate the part of me that is responsible for sleep, even though I sometimes am hard on myself and this part of my system when it has a hard time sleeping.

I want the part of my system that is responsible for sleep to know that it is not alone in providing me sleep.

The whole system is committed to a night of deep, relaxing, gentle sleep.

Whatever other parts of the system that the sleep part wants to call on, I give it permission to do that now.

AND I want it to know that I want it to work with the rest of the system.

My system works best when all the parts are working together.

I am going to have restful sleep tonight.

I am going to have gentle sleep tonight.

I am going to have re-energizing sleep tonight.

I am going to have healing sleep tonight.

I am going to sleep in such a way that it will feed my creativity and inspiration tonight.

In the morning I am going to wake up gently and easily.

I am going to wake up re-energized and ready to take on a new day.

I am going to wake with open eyes to new opportunities and bigger dreams.

I am going to wake knowing that this night’s sleep served me and the new day very well.

I give myself permission to have a gentle, restful night of sleep.

My sleep is important.

During sleep my system has the recharge and re-energize.

During sleep my conscious, subconscious, and unconscious minds have the opportunity to sort out all the new information and lessons form today.

While I am sleeping I don't need to give any of these functions any thought.

My system can take care of all of this while I get a gentle, restful night of sleep.

What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Beginner Tappers?

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I recently asked some of my favorite tappers “What are the biggest mistakes made by beginning tappers?” Below you will find their answers. When everyone answered they didn't know what anyone else was saying. I found it very instructive to see the number of similar answers that were given by many people.
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Pod #99: EFT For Resentment w/ Gwenn Bonnell

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Gwenn Bonnell is always one of my favorite guests on the Tapping Q and A Podcast because every time I talk to her I learn something new. This interview was no different.

In this interview we talk about how to tap for resentment. And this is not just about feeling resentment towards other people. We can also resent our computer for not working, a company for not being helpful, and ourselves for making the same bad choice again and again.

The interesting thing about resentment is that it is an emotion that bubbles below the surface so it isn’t always obvious to us, like anger or sadness. Because of this we can forget to tap for it because it doesn't feel like it is impacting our immediate present.

In this interview Gwenn shares a great 3 step tool to get to the core of resentment, and how to tap for it once you are there.

Guest: Gwenn Bonnell

Contact Gwenn: web @ TapIntoHeaven.com; web @ TapAwayPain.com; email @ gwenn@tapintoheaven.com; phone @ 954 370 1552

About Gwenn: Gwenn is a writer, teacher and lecturer. She offers private sessions and training and workshops at Heaven On Earth in Davie, Florida. A graduate of the College of Health and Human Development, Penn State University, she is a member of ACEP, the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and has trained personally with Gary Craig (developer of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques), Dr. Larry Nims (BSFF, Be Set Free Fast), Tapas Fleming (TAT, Tapas Acupressure Techniques), Donna Eden and David Feinstein (Energy Medicine), Sandi Radomski (Allergy Antidotes), Alan Handelsman (Muscle Testing), Paul Burdelski (Touch for Health), and Piilani (Huna Kane).

EFT To Stay Healthy During Flu Season

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It has been one of the worst flu seasons in years here in the States. And even if you managed to avoid the flu, there were lots of colds and stomach viruses going around. Below is the tapping script I use when I feel a bug coming on.

You don't have to use the whole thing. Feel free to pick and choose the parts that work best for you.

Here is a downloadable pdf version of the script.

[Note: If you like this script I would encourage you to check MyEFTYear.com. This is the type of resource that shows up at least 4 days a week.]

My system is a powerful healing machine.

My system is made for health and well-being. I appreciate everything that my system does on unconscious and subconscious levels all day and night to keep me healthy and safe. I know my system isn’t perfect in doing this, but it is truly amazing in what is does.

I know that there are choices that I make that make it harder for my system to heal and grow. There are thoughts that I have, emotions that I feel, beliefs that I hold, things that I eat and drink, and choices that I make which makes it harder for my system to maintain optimum health. I apologize to my system for any of these that I have done, especially in the last twenty-four hours. I appreciate the fact that my system is willing to keep working towards my health and well-being.

There are many things that my system is holding onto that is slowing healing and growth. These can be in the forms of thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and substance in my physical body. Some of these are known while some are unknown or hidden. At one point the system thought these were helpful or still thinks they are helpful. I give my system permission to let go of anything that is blocking health and well being. If it needs these things in the future, I will be able to pick them up again. I give my system permission to let them go even if the system doesn’t understand what they are or why the system thought they were helpful at one point.

My system is a powerful healing machine. I give my system permission to release its healing power, not just now, but throughout the whole day and as I sleep tonight. I do not need to be conscious of this healing and growth. My system has permission to heal.

There are many systems in my body that do so many amazing things. There might be blocks and impediments to these parts working to their optimum potential.

I give my system permission to remove any blocks and provide to my body anything it needs for health and well-being.

I give my system permission to remove any blocks and provide to my digestive system for optimum health and well-being.

I give my system permission to remove any blocks and provide to my respiratory system for optimum health and well-being.

I give my system permission to remove any blocks and provide to my circulatory system for optimum health and well-being.

I give my system permission to remove any blocks and provide to my nervous system for optimum health and well-being.

I give my system permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my limbic system for optimum health and well-being.

I give my system permission to remove any blocks and provide to my glandular system for optimum health and well-being.

I give my system permission to remove any blocks and provide to my reproductive system for optimum health and well-being.

I know that as I move through the day I encounter many things that it is hard for my system to process or can be hard for my system to process. My system and my immune system do an amazing job of keeping me healthy as I encounter things through my whole day that are working against my health and well-being.

I want my immune system to know how much I appreciate how hard it works. I want my immune system to know it is not the only part of me that is trying to keep my safe and healthy. I give my immune system permission to access other parts of my system to ensure that I stay safe and healthy.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden obstacles that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden viruses that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden bacteria that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden fungi that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden ingestants that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden inhalants that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden contactants that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden injectants that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden emotions that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden memories that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden beliefs that are preventing health and well-being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden darkness that is preventing health and well-being.

Did You Know You Aren’t Trying To Get Rid Of Emotions With EFT?

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photo by Kerr Photography

A recent conversation with my client went like this…

Client: I am really sad because I am never going to get to see him again.

Me: Good!

Client: What do you mean good?

Me: It is good that you are mourning the loss of the friendship. It is important to mourn that loss. It’s healthy to recognize that the relationship was important to you, recognize the positive things it gave you, and acknowledge you are going to be missing something.

Client: I didn’t know it was OK to feel this way.

If you search the internet you will find thousands of articles and videos on how to get rid of emotions. When we are working on a negative emotion our the goal is often to get that emotion down to a zero on the SUD scale.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a great tool to use in responding to emotions.

BUT our goal with tapping is not to be emotionless!

Our emotions serve us. They give us information about how we are responding to what is going on around us.

When we feel angry it is because we perceive that we are under attack. When we feel frustrated it is because we feel like we want or need better. When we feel sad we are recognizing that we are missing something that is important to us.

The emotions themselves are not the problem. Emotions are only a problem when they spring from misinformation, or are disproportionate to the circumstance.

An example of a misinformed emotion would be when we get really mad at someone for not showing up to dinner when we didn't know they were involved in an accident on the way.

An example of a disproportionate emotion would be pulling over and crying for 45 minutes after we were cut off by another driver.

In both examples we experience the emotion because it is trying to convey information about our experience. The anger is there because we feel attacked because we were stood up. The overwhelm on the road came because there was a part of us that feared for our life. In both cases the emotion went too far and was too big.

We don't tap to get rid of our emotions, but instead to achieve balance and have them respond accurately and in proportion to our experience.

Many times when we tap we do release emotion completely because it has done its job and passed along the information needed.

At other times we will not get the emotion all the way to a zero and that is perfect because there are emotions we need to feel.

What are your thoughts on tapping for emotions and getting them all the way to a zero? I would love to hear about your experiences below.

Why Do I Always Make Change So Hard? How To Make It Easier With EFT!

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photo by mjzitek

Why do I always make it so hard for myself to change? I know there is an easier way, but I always choose the hard way. Why am I doing that?

That is a direct quote from one of my clients this week. (Did you know you can work with Gene too?)

In my experience, there are two main reasons why my clients make things harder for themselves: value and worth.

Making Our Work Valuable

As a culture we attribute value to hard work to the point of making it a virtue. Whenever we talk about someone who is hard worker it is almost always a compliment.

“He is someone you want on your team. He is such a hard worker.”

“Wow! That was so well done. You must have worked really hard at it.”

There is nothing wrong with hard work. Working hard is a good thing, but it is easy for us to turn working hard into an end in itself. When this happens it becomes distorted from, “It is good to work hard,” into “It is only good if I work hard.”

When this happens we will intentionally choose the harder path because there is a part of us that now believes that only hard work is valuable. To address this we can tap to something like this:

I want to be a hard worker…I want to pull my own weight…I want to make sure I am contributing…But the best way to contribute is to add something that is valuable…Value is calculated by what I add…Or by what I receive…My value is not in how hard I work…There is an easier way…I am allowed to choose the easier way…Even when I do things the easy way…I am contributing…And my work has value…When I do things the easy way it takes less time…And that makes it possible for me to do more…When I have more time I can contribute in more ways…I can add more to my life…And I can take time to enjoy my success…It doesn't have to be hard to be good…It doesn't have to be hard to be valuable…

Making Myself Worthy

In addition to making our work feel more valuable we can also make ourselves feel more valuable by doing something that is hard.

We might think on a subconscious level, “Look at how worthy I am! I am struggling therefore I deserve to be here and to be noticed.”

If we think the only way we are worthy is if we work hard, then we will make sure that our work is hard in order to feel more valuable. When this happens we can tap to something like this:

I want to be seen as valuable…I want to be seen as worthy…There is a part of me that believes that if I am working hard…I have a reason to be here…I have a reason to be seen…I have value…There is a part of me that thinks…”Look at me…I am working so hard…I am struggling…Therefore I am carrying my weight…And I am valuable…I am worthy”…I am glad there is a part of me that wants to be seen as valuable and worthy…But I don't have to work hard…To be valuable…Or to be worthy…I don't have to work hard…I don't have to struggle…I can be good and do things the easy way…I am not cheating by doing them the easy way…I am not a cheater by doing it the easy way…I am making the best choice for me…

Conclusion

We don't have to make it harder than it need be. When we are able to transform the thought that things have to be hard then we can start to make it easier for ourselves. This will allow us to move forward more quickly and with less effort.

A final note: Often the idea that we have to work hard is given to us by other people, such as our parents and teachers. When working with this issue you might also want to look at how to let go the beliefs we have picked up from loved ones. These can be particularly hard to change because it might feel like we are disrespecting or letting our loved ones go when we let go their beliefs. Here is a simple process to release beliefs given to us by others.

3 Things You Need To Keep In Mind Before You Start An EFT Session

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photo by The Happy Rower

Often, in advance of working with someone one-on-one, we will have short conversation to see if we will be a good fit to work together. (If you are interested in working with me one-on-one visit WorkWithGene.com.) Recently, during one of these consultations, I was asked this thoughtful question:

“I have never worked with a practitioner before, is there anything I should know or keep in mind as we start to do this work?”

I have a pre-session audio [link] which helps clients to prepare for the mechanics of the session, but I had never given much thought to what should be kept in mind to get the most out of tapping.

Here are the 3 things that I think will help you to be more efficient with your Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT)/tapping sessions.

Be Willing To Let Go Of Your Story

When I first work with a client on an issue I ask them to give me its history. This includes how the issue is impacting their life, what they have tried (tapping or otherwise) to deal with the issue, and how they think it started.

As they are telling their story one thing I always keep in mind is that most people (myself included) are notoriously bad at accurately reporting what is going in their lives. When a client is talking about their life I treat everything they say the same way eyewitness testimony is treated in a court of law.

Eyewitness testimony is helpful, and a great place to start an investigation. Eyewitness testimony is not a record of facts but an interpretation of what happened from one point of view.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t believe my client or that I think they are consciously trying to mislead me (or themselves). It is just a fact that we are biased when it comes to our perceptions of our own lives.

Many times when a client comes to me they have already been working on an issue for years. I have lots of thoughtful clients who have done a great deal of work on understanding how the issue they are addressing has come to be. Because of this they will often have a story of why they are the way they are.

    “When I was a child everyone thought my sister was amazing. Everything she did was perfect. She was good in school, she was popular, and she was a great athlete. I was always compared to her and I never matched up. The reason I have such low self-esteem is because I always feel like I am never going to match up to the people around me.”

There is an interesting phenomenon that happens when someone starts to tell the story of why they are the way the are when they have been telling that same story for a long time. It is like they have hit the play button in their head and the story they have told many times before starts. You can almost feel them not paying attention to the story any more because they have told it so often that they are on autopilot in the telling of it.

I want to be very clear that I am not criticizing this. I do the same thing. What I am pointing out is how it’s possible for us to become attached to a reasonable story for why we are the way we are.

This story can be a useful jumping off point, but just because it is reasonable does not mean that it is true. If we cling to our story as true, then that is the only avenue we will investigate in our tapping and we may never find the root cause and succeed in getting past this issue.

When we are tapping (with a practitioner or alone) we need to be willing to give up our story of why we are the way we are. This can be difficult because the story we have been telling is reasonable. Look at the example above. That is a perfectly logical reason why someone might struggle with self-esteem, but if we are married to that as the reason we may never move on.

One of the ways I like to deal with this is to tap to something like this:

I would like to heal this issue…I know my life will be better when I resolve this…I have spent a lot of time thinking about the issue…And why I have this issue…The reasons I have come up with are reasonable…And they very likely could be the reason why I am experiencing what I am experiencing…But I also know that I might be wrong…There could be a completely different reason for why I am the way I am…Even though I have invested a lot of time and energy into my story…I give myself permission to let my story go…I give myself permission to be open to other possibilities…In the end it doesn’t matter if I am right about why I am the way I am…What is most important is my healing.

If you take just a moment to tap to this idea before you start your session it will help you to see fresh ways of approaching your problem and open you up to new healing possibilities.

Don’t Need To Know Why In Order To Heal

One of the reasons that we come up with a story to why we are experiencing an issue is because it makes it understandable. When understand something it give us more control over the situation. When something is understandable then we are able to prevent it from happening again.

So the desire to understand why something happens is helpful, but at the same time it can be a hinderance to the healing process. If there is a part of us that needs to understand why something happens it can prevent us from healing.

The logic is this:

  • I don’t like what is happening.
  • I don’t want it to happen again.
  • Therefore, I am going to put all my energy into understanding why.

If we find ourselves in this place it will be difficult to move forward. Clear this idea by tapping to this:

I have had this issue for a while…And I really don’t like how it feels…And I don’t want to experience this ever again…There is a part of me that wants to understand how this happened…If I knew how or why this happened then I could prevent it from happening again…As important as it is to understand why this happened…It is more important to heal and move beyond it…There will be times when I understand exactly what the root cause of an issue is…There will be other times when I will have no idea why this happened…As nice as it would be to understand why…It is much more important to heal…I give myself permission to heal this issue without ever knowing why or how it happened…It would nice to know that…but it is not necessary.

It Is A Process

It is easy to be seduced with stories of and personal experience with “one minute miracles.” I have seen people go from total scepticism about tapping, to frustration that tapping isn’t fixing everything in their lives in one session.

It is good to understand the power of tapping, but it is also important that we keep it in perspective. If it took a lifetime for an issue to take root, it also makes sense that will take time to unroot it.

Healing is a process and it is important we bear this in mind or we will miss the progress we are making (see “The 10% Solution”), get frustrated, and quit. To help keep this in mind I like to start (and end) sessions with tapping something like this:

I know that healing is a process…There is a part of me that would like this healing to happen right now…And it is good that I am motivated to have healing happen sooner rather than later…But it is a process…Each time I tap I will make progress…Each time I tap I will get closer to my goal…But I choose to be easy with myself…And be easy with the process…As it unfolds…Healing is happening…At a rate that will help ensure that the effects are lasting.

Conclusion

One of the fastest ways for us to give up on tapping is to experience ineffective tapping sessions. If you give yourself permission to surrender your own story, release the need to know why you are the way you are, and give up the need to heal right now, you will set yourself up for a useful and successful tapping session.

What stumbling blocks have you run into when tapping? I would love to hear about them in the comments below.