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“There are those who work all day. Those who dream all day. And those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. Go into the third category because there’s virtually no competition.” Steven J. Ross
We are connected to many people in our lives, some very closely, others less so. When we make choices we don't make them in a vacuum as we know that they impact other people, either affecting them directly or simply in the way they see us. Because we consider how our choices influence how others think about us we sometimes hesitate to act because we are unsure of their reaction, or we fear that they will react negatively. Our subconscious may restrain us from taking action unless we feel we have the permission of those around us to go after our dreams. It seems a little odd to ask someone permission to chase our dreams, but it is important to be aware of the areas in which we are holding ourselves back.
[Note: From time to time some of the resources on this site come from a more personal world-view. I do not claim to have a monopoly on truth. This is just a point of view. If this does not serve you I hope you are able to find other resources on the site that speak to you.]
Here is a quote from one of the many newsletters I am subscribed to:
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My personal opinion is that this is the very meaning of the phrase “deliver us from evil” in the Our Father (the Lord’s Prayer). We aren’t asking to avoid all suffering. It is more that we pray, “when the big trials come, God, hold onto me, and don't let me turn bitter or blaming—an evil that leads to so many other evils. When I am led to the edge of my own resources may I fall into YOU, who are my true and lasting Source.”
Excerpted and adapted from “Opening the Door: Great Suffering and Great Love”
from “The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See”
by Fr. Richard Rohr
Which leads me to tap:
I know that through out this day I am going to face trails and struggles…some will be created by the situation…while others will be created by my choices…some will be big and some will be small…the emotions I feel in these moments will be real…but I know that they will not all reflect the truth…I pray that I am able to recognize in every trail and struggle that I face…that I am able to see this as another moment of healing…I am not seeking out struggle for the sake of growth…but know that in these moments of struggle I will be given the opportunity to heal and grow…help me on this day not to give way to bitterness…hopelessness…and…disconnection from the love of God…give me vision to see God's presents in all moments…help me to know that God's love is not something I need to seek…but that it is full here…and I need to simply accept it…I know that struggle can make me jaded and bitter…preventing me form not only miss God's love in this moment, but the next as well…struggle is not the enemy…bitterness is…I can make loving choices in the middle of struggle…it is hard for me to make loving choices in the midst of my own bitterness…help me not to dismiss struggle…but to see it for what it truly is
 photo by Let Ideas Compete |
Recently I have been working with a number first time clients. Many of them are very experienced with Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) and have come to work with me because they are dealing with something that is much larger than the normal day to day issues they use tapping for.
Even when I receive detailed information before the session I like to start by asking them what they would like work on. As they share what is going on in their life there is often a whole list of emotions based on the single circumstance for which they are seeking guidance.
As they share the details of what is going on I quickly make notes. When they are done I will state back everything they have shared to make sure we are on the same page. “It sounds like you are struggling with…”
We know that tapping is most effective the more specific we are, but it can be difficult to be specific when there are so many emotions all at once. It is hard to tell where the frustration starts and anger ends.
In these cases I have started using something I call “Clearing The Deck”.
All of the emotions we feel are nothing more than information. These emotions are letting us know that something in our life is not congruent with our truth or that there is something we need to look out for. Many times the system continues to hold these emotions we beyond the usefulness of this signal.
The process of clearing the deck allows us to release these emotions to see our way clear to the deeper roots of what is going on. It allows the body to hold onto the excess emotion that many times we aren't even aware we are carrying. The simple release of all this excess lightens our mood, relaxes the body, and helps us to see ourselves more clearly.
It is a great way to start session or a great way to end the day.
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Sometimes the hardest word to say is “no”. We want to be helpful. We want to give. We don’t want to be seen as selfish. We want to be asked again in the future. There are so many reasons to say “yes”. But there are also many good reasons to say “no”.
We have too much on our plate. We need to spend some time on ourselves. We are being asked to do something we can’t do. We are being asked to do something we just don’t want to do.
We need to be ok with saying “no” so we can say “yes” when the time is right. If you have a hard time saying no, here is a tapping patter that will help. If you have real trouble saying no, you might want to revisit this patter from time to time.
I have a very hard time saying “no”…I want to be helpful…I want the people in my life to know I care…I want to not be selfish…because I have so much…I want others to know that I have something to offer…I want to be there for others…I want to be asked again and I feel if I say “no” now I won’t be asked again…
I am allowed to say “no”…I can say “no” because I can’t do something… I can say “no” because I don’t want to do something… I can say “no” for no other reason than it is my choice…the only way I am going to be healthy is if I take care of myself…the only way I can take care of myself is by not always taking care of everyone else…by taking care of myself I can better care for important others in my life…I can say “no” even if people are thinking I am being selfish by saying “no”…it is much more important for me to take care of myself than it is to worry about what others think about me…when I say “no” I am also saying “yes” to many other possibilities and opportunities…therefore “no” is not a negative…it is a choice to allow the other…I give myself permission to make the choices that are best for me…”yes” or “no”…I give myself a chance to make the choices that are going to allow me to flourish and grow…I must take care of myself before I can take care of others…this doesn’t mean I ignore other’s needs…but I must also consider my needs when making choices…that is what is best for me…that is what is best for others…
I give myself permission to be easy with myself for all the times that I have said “yes” when I should have said “no”…there are times I have made my life harder because I’ve said “yes” when I should have said “no”…I‘ve said “yes” to things I could not do…I have said “yes” to things I shouldn’t have…I have made my life harder…I forgive myself for the times I should have said “no” but didn’t…it is ok that I have done this in the past…I choose to know I’ve learned from these moments…I choose to know I can make better choices in the future…I can change this pattern…and I will change this pattern…I will start by saying “no” to holding on to this regret…
I also let go the resentment I hold towards others who have taken advantage of my always saying “yes”…I am taking responsibility for my response….just because someone has asked doesn’t mean that I have to say “yes”…I take responsibility for the times I have said “yes” even when I didn’t want to…by taking responsibility for the times I have said “yes”, I am giving myself permission to take responsibilities for my choices in the future…by taking responsibility for my past…I get to have control over my future…I therefore let go of blame to others whom I have said “yes” to…I am now in control…I can and will make the choice that is right for me…be it “yes” or “no”.
Everyone in my life says that I am “way too sensitive” and it’s frustrating. I love the fact that I feel so deeply, but I don’t like everyone thinking I am overreacting. Is there something wrong with me?
There are lots of people in the world who are very aware of and in tune with their own emotions and the emotions of others. EFT Master Rue Hass describes this as having a “sensitive temperament”. People with sensitive temperaments feel very deeply their own emotions and the emotions of those in their lives.
There is nothing wrong with having a sensitive temperament, but it can be hard having a sensitive temperament because you can feel that your emotions are out of control and that others don’t understand what you are experiencing.
When I interviewed Rue for Pod #7 – Sensitive Temperaments she talked about how we can use EFT to feel more comfortable as a person who has a sensitive temperament.
During the interview she talked about ways in which we can use EFT in this process.
Below is a number of thoughts and resources that Rue (Intuitive Mentoring) provided me after the interview on how to understand sensitive temperaments and how to work with that point of view.
Blessings of Sensitive Temperaments
The essence of the sensitive temperament is the spirit of:
The intention of the person with a sensitive temperament is to foster:
Struggles of Sensitive Temperaments
Common worries, struggles, and questions of people with sensitive temperaments are:
Reframing Sensitivity
A profound tool that can be used with EvEFT is to reframe our point of view. A reframe is nothing more than looking at something in a new way. Some common ways to reframe the characteristics of people with sensitive temperaments are to:
Tapping Phrases if You Have a Sensitive Temperament
Here are a number tapping phrases that sensitive temperaments can use as a jumping off point:
Make sure you check out the interview with Rue (Pod #7) and her web site (Intuitive Mentoring)
I know EFT can be a very powerful tool to help with getting my emotions under control. My daughter was just diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum and I am just a ball of emotions. I don’t know where to start. What can I tap on?
Over the last few years I have been blessed to work with a number of special needs parents in my practice. Often the first time they approach me to have me do work with their children. I love that type of work, but in most cases I will insist that the parent first work on themselves for their own emotions.
It is very important that we are emotionally clear when we are going to help or support someone else in any setting. The more emotionally clear we are, the more present we are going to be to those we are serving.
I have created a list of truth-statements that I use to help parent focus on the areas that need the most attention.
The list is very easy to use. Read the statement out loud and see how true it rings. Not feeling true at all would rate a 0. Completely true would rate a 10. Go through the whole list writing your rating down for each statement. After you have done the whole list, start with the areas that ring the most true.
General Emotions
Myself
Child
Family/Friends/ Others
Treatment
[Note: Please note most of the articles at EFT Q & A are written from a very general point of view so they are accessible to the largest audience possible. This article is a little different. The topic came up while e-mailing back and forth with a Christian. The theology contained in the article about God's unconditional love comes from my (limited) understanding of God. I offer it, like everything on this site, as a point of view that is mine and mine alone, not as dogma. If these phrases work for you, great! If they don't, feel free to click away. They are offered as one more possible approach to healing.]
There are times when we feel like we have messed up to the point that not only have we let ourselves down, but we have also let God down. In these times I have found Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) as a very helpful tool.
I understand God’s love to be unconditional. We don’t earn it, and we can’t lose it. The most difficult times in my own life are the times in which I choose to believe I’m not worthy of or I’m not willing to accept the love God offers.
When I have found it difficult to believe that God still loves me I tap on something like this:
Right now I am having a very hard time…I am struggling…but I choose to know that God loves me no matter what…His love is unconditional…There is nothing I can do to earn his love…Or lose his love…there are times like right now when I don’t believe I deserve God’s love…There are times when I beat myself up because I am letting God down…I choose to know that God wants nothing more than my healing to happen…God wants me to see myself with the same love that he has for me…I give myself permission to know God still loves me…I give myself permission to believe I deserve God’s love, even when I have a hard time loving myself…
[How to use these tapping phrases]
Sadness can be one of the hardest emotions to use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) for. It just doesn’t do it justice to tap on the phrase, “I feel sad.”1
Somehow the word sad doesn’t encompass all that goes along with our feelings because there are many different flavors of sadness.
When I am faced with sadness the first thing I do is tap on the sadness without any words. I close my eyes and simply let the sadness grow in my heart. I am not running from it. I am not running to it. I am just being present to the feeling of the sadness. I feel it and let it pass. The whole time I am just moving from tapping point to tapping point.
The reason we use words when we are tapping is to help us focus in on the issue. Sadness is such a physically visceral emotion that it is very easy to tune into without words. After I have spent a little time tapping without words I will tap on a patter like this:
Right now I feel so sad…sad is such an inadequate word for this emotion…this sadness is cutting me right to my core…as if a part of me is being wrenched out…or slowly burned from the inside out…this sadness is trying to teach me a lesson…it’s worried I am losing or have lost something that is very important…it is afraid I am never going to get it back…it’s afraid that I am going to be without and incomplete…whatever I feel I have lost I am thankful that I did have it in my life…even if it was not for as long as I wanted it…I choose to know I am whole and complete without anything else…I have simply forgotten how I am connected to everything…even when it is not present…I forgive myself for any weakness or failure I feel because I am feeling sad…sadness is natural…it is nothing more than my body’s way of telling me that I fear not being complete…or whole…I am glad there is a part of me that worries about this…I know this sadness will pass…now that I have recognized the lesson this sadness is trying to teach me I thank it and let it pass
[How to use these tapping phrases]
There are times when we know Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT), but we don’t know where to begin. We are either faced with so many issues our mind jumps from one issue to another, or we have so much going on that we can’t seem to get a grip on any one issue.
Almost every EFT/EvEFT resource instructs you to be as specific as possible. (This web site even does it in the basic introduction to EFT.) But sometimes this is just not possible, and then it is okay to deal with everything all at once just to make a little headway and to get some clarity.
The process is very simple. Tune into all the emotions at once as a giant constellation of emotions. Don’t worry about whether you can pull any particular piece off. Tap on a patter like this:
I know EFT is a very powerful tool…I believe it can help me…but right now I am having a very hard time…I can’t quite figure out what I need to tap on…I either can’t find one issue because there is so much…or there is so much that I just jump from issue to issue, never spending enough time on one issue to make a difference…I give myself permission to be easy with myself in this process…I give myself permission to know that I don’t need to do everything today…there is a part of all of this that is most important…I give myself permission to tune into my natural intuition to find the issues I need to be working on right now…I let all the other issues just pass away…like evaporating mist in the morning…I know I have lessons to learn from those issues as well…but I can deal with those another time…I let my natural resources of focus and intuition take me to and keep me on the issues I need to be working on…even if I never land on the issue I need to be working on…the fact that I have taken time to get a few deep breaths and to tap a little will serve me…I know by just taking this moment I am healing in a small way…even if I am not knocking out the issues I want to deal with.
[How to use these tapping phrases]
Often when we do change work we feel like the deeper we dig into an issue the worse it gets. It is almost as if we stir up issues that weren’t there before. This can be frustrating and overwhelming.
We might ask, “If all I do is make this worse, why am I bothering? It’s not worth it! I give up!”
Even though we feel like we are not making progress, in reality we are. It just appears we are backsliding. Here is an analogy I like to use with my clients.
I grew up in Wyoming (one of the western states of the USA). Wyoming is filled with wide-open spaces. There are places in the state where you can see for well over 100 miles. Because you have no point of reference — like man-made structures — it is difficult to know how far you are from something or how big it is. This can create some interesting misperceptions.
For example, you could believe that the mountain that you are looking at is just on the other side of this hill. Once you get to the top of the hill you realize that there are really seven more hills before you get to the mountain. Because you can’t tell how big the mountain is you have no real sense of how far away it is. As you gain a greater perspective of the landscape, you gain a better sense of where you are in relationship to the mountain.
Even though you are moving forward, it feels like the mountain has moved further away because your perception of the mountain’s location has changed.
The same thing can happen when we are working on emotional issues. As we do work on the emotional issue we realize how big it really is (often much bigger than we thought it was in the first place).
As we come to these insights we ARE healing. We ARE moving closer to our goal. We’ve gained a new perspective of the issue at hand. Still, we can feel frustrated at the illusion of having lost ground. Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) can take the edge off the feeling of backsliding to allow us to deal with the issues at hand.
Here is some tapping patter you could use with this issue:
It feels like I am backsliding…every time I do some tapping it feels like it is getting worse…I keep finding more issues than I fix…it is very frustrating…if it is going to be like this I want to quit…why do I want to make things worse…but I choose to know that I really am making progress…not only am I clearing out emotional issues…I am getting a better understanding of what I’m dealing with…this isn’t fun because I’m finding things I didn’t know were there…but by finding these things I now know the areas of my self and my life that can use healing…even though it feels like I am losing ground I know I am gaining ground…with each step forward…no matter how small…I am getting closer to where I want to be…the goal has not moved…it is in the same place…I just have a clearer vision of what that goal is…making it easier for me to get there
[How to use these tapping phrases]
Sometimes the healing process is hampered by our logical mind. We get to the point where we can name our issues, but they make no sense at all. We can logically see how things are different from what our emotions believe. This can be a very difficult point in the healing process because we realize that we can’t talk ourselves out of misguided or wrong emotional beliefs. Because we can’t logic our way out of something, we don’t know where to turn and can feel helpless in the healing process.
I am sure I drive my clients crazy be telling them over and over again, “Just because it isn’t true doesn’t mean that it isn’t real.” When we encounter these emotions that are based in ridiculous notions it is important that we acknowledge this fact.
I love the fact that Gary Craig (http://emofree.com) has always described these as the comedies of our mind. They are comedies because once they are dragged out into the light of day we can see how ridiculous they are.
But, just because they are ridiculous to us logically doesn’t mean that they aren’t still very powerful. It’s frequently helpful to allow ourselves to be comfortable with the fact that these beliefs make no sense at all.
By using Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) on the fact that our emotional beliefs exist to protect us, we gain peace and clarity about how best to take care of ourselves. When we are easy about this fact it allows us to do the healing work we want to do without the frustration of it making no sense.
The tapping patter could look like this:
These thoughts and feelings make no sense at all…logically I can clearly see how my emotions are misinterpreting the situation, myself, and the world…I know these emotions and beliefs exist because there is a part of me that is trying to take care of me…this part of me is working very hard to make sure I stay safe and whole…it just happens to be doing it in a way that is not good for me in the short or long term…I am thankful that there are parts of me willing to do whatever they can to protect me…I affirm the work of this part of me…I don’t want to fight with this illogical part of myself…because we have the same goal…getting me to heal…I now ask this part to work with me in a more effective way to help my healing…I know from time to time that I have illogical emotional thoughts…because emotions are illogical by their very nature…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I heal these illogical thoughts and emotions.
[How to use these tapping phrases]
To work down a path of healing we need to take stock of where we are and what issues we would like to heal. One of the questions that come to mind when we do this is, “How did I get here?” This can become a consuming question, to the point that it distracts us from the healing process itself.
It is a natural question to ask. First, we may think that it will help us to heal our way out of the current feeling or circumstance. Second, we may believe we need to know how we got here to insure that we never end up here again.
While it can be important to the healing process to understand how we got here and how we can avoid ending up here again, it’s much more important that we understand where we are and where we would like to be.
I think sometimes it’s a disservice to clients when we harp on the memories that have created the past situation. Yes, it can be very helpful to understand these aspects of an emotional charge, but plenty of clients have felt hopeless because they couldn’t bring up past memories.
Also, we can be mistaken about the original cause of an emotional charge.
Instead, if we are easy with ourselves about how our problem came to be, we can freely enter the emotions of the moment which will lead us to the true root cause.
I find it very helpful to tap on the idea of not needing to know how we got here before going after a big problem. Then we are only dealing with the essential issue rather than worrying about knowing why.
The tapping patter could look something like this:
There is a part of me that really wants to know how I got into this situation…it feels I need this information for the healing…it believes I need this information to protect myself from ending up in this place again…while it can be very helpful to know this information…it is not essential to the healing process…I can completely heal my current emotions without knowing a single thing about how I got here…it is possible to use the emotions I am feeling right now as the information to do the tapping…as I work on how I feel right now it is possible that memories and other information about how I ended up here will come up…if this happens it will provide more chances for me to heal…if it doesn’t happen that’s okay as well because I have all the information I need…I give myself permission to be easy with myself in this process…it is much more important to know where I am and where I am going…than to know how I got here. [How to use these tapping phrases]
In the article Stages of Awareness I talk about how we move through the healing process. In stage one we are going through life unaware of what is going on internally. In stage two we start the investigation process. This stage can be the most difficult because we’ve taken our blinders off. We feel as if we have just added a whole new set of problems and issues.
The moment we start investigating what’s going on in our lives we become aware of many areas of healing that we had been blind to before. We can be overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and hopelessness.
We can logically know that we have just opened our eyes to what was already there, but that doesn’t take the feelings of overwhelm or frustration away. I have found it very helpful to use Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EvEFT/EFT) on these feelings of overwhelm and frustration before doing the healing itself. Once the overwhelmed feeling is resolved, we are free to cope with the current issue.
To do this you could tap on something like this:
Right now I am dealing with more issues than I know what to do with…I don’t even know where to start…even if I take care of some of it, there is going to be so much more for me to deal with…I feel like I am trying to empty a bathtub with a thimble…I choose to know this is part of the healing process…in the beginning I feel like there is more than I can deal with…in the beginning it feels like I have added a bunch of new issues…but I really know these issues have always been here…I have just become aware of them…I give myself permission to know that I can take these issues one at a time… every issue I heal is going to make the next issue easier…it will be like a snowball rolling down a hill…each healing with happen easier and easier…faster and faster…I know it is only going to get better from here…as I come to terms with all that I need to heal…the easier it will be to heal…I give myself permission to do this healing at a rate that is best for my body…I forgive myself for feeling overwhelmed…it is natural to be overwhelmed by what I am dealing with…I choose to take the next step forward now. [How to use these tapping phrases]
One of the biggest struggles in our process of growing and changing is the fact that we don’t often believe that we deserve healing.
We believe:
Sometimes it is just a deep ache that we can’t explain, a feeling that we don’t deserve any better.
I often use the image of a brick wall when dealing with this general sense of not deserving better. We are standing on one side of it, and our healing is on the other side. As long as we believe we don’t deserve healing we won’t get past the wall.
When we don’t know the root cause of the feeling it can be hard for us to approach because we are unsure where to begin or what to say. In these cases I imagine using Evolving Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT/EvEFT) like a hammer and chisel. We might not be able to take the whole wall down in one tapping session, but bit by bit we can make progress.
Here is some sample tapping patter you could use:
There is part of me that doesn’t believe I am worthy of healing…there is a part of me that doesn’t believe I deserve any better…for some reason this part that doesn’t believe I deserve this is trying to protect me…it truly believes this protection is in my best interest…this part of me is working very hard to protect me, but it is doing it in a way that is not helpful for me in the short or long term…I recognize this part of me that is trying to keep me safe…I know this part of me is working hard…I thank this part of me for working so hard…even if it is preventing my healing…I honor the fact that this part of me wants what is best for me…I give this part of me permission to let its guard down…it no longer has to work so hard…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve to heal…as I say those phrases there is a part of me that recoils at this thought…even though part of me doesn’t believe this, there is a part of me that knows it is true…right now I tune into the part of me that knows I deserve to heal…the part of me that knows I deserve better…it might be very deep down inside…it might be a very long time since this part of my being has been accessed…but it is there…right now I speak light and love to the part of me that knows I deserve love…to the part of me that knows I deserve healing…I deserve love…I deserve healing…I deserve better…whatever part of me is blocking this thought and idea, I let go of it right now…I see and feel the blocks to knowing I deserve healing melting away a little at a time…with each breath and each tap I am removing the wall of undeserving that prevents me from moving forward…it’s melting away…in every moment I believe more and more that I deserve to heal…that I deserve better…I forgive myself for not believing this is true…I forgive myself for not believing this is true even as I tap right now…I forgive myself or whatever part of myself has built this wall…I know it has only done so because it is doing the best it can with what it has to protect me…I give myself permission to believe it is possible to see myself as deserving of better health…I deserve to heal…I deserve better…I deserve love.
[How to use these tapping phrases]
During the holiday season we are re-reminded that it is important to give thanks for the peace in our lives, homes, and world. We are also given the chance to consider the peace we long for. Please take some time this week and tap on these phrase to help bring peace.
I give thanks for the fact that I am reminded to consider the peace I have in my life…I am thankful for moments of peace…for people who create peace…and the people who call me to peace…I know there are places in my life that need more peace…I know I must take responsibility for creating that peace…that does not mean that I have created all the disharmony in my life, but I give myself permission to be responsible for the peace in my life…right now I tune into any block that I have to creating peace in my life…these might be big blocks…or they might be small…I know my body is holding on to these blocks for a reason…because it thinks these block are protecting me from something…I thank my body for holding these blocks…but right now I choose to let them go…any block I’m holding that prevents peace in my life…and in my world…I let it go now…knowing in this moment that I no longer need it…as I let it go I feel my body…I feel the freedom that comes with this peace…I forgive myself for carrying these blocks for so long…I love and accept myself…knowing I deserve peace in my life…and in my world…any part of me that feels I don’t deserve peace…I thank that part of me…because it believes it is protecting me…and I let these beliefs go…I deserve peace in my life…I was made for peace…I am at my fullest and my best…when I am at peace…I also know I desire peace not just in myself…but also in the world…I know I can help to create peace in the world…in my thoughts…my deeds…and my actions…I know it can be scary to step out…to take actions that will create peace…others might judge these actions…thinking I am a do-gooder…thinking I am being arrogant…thinking I am messing in places I shouldn’t be…I give myself permission to help create peace in the world…I give myself permission to be a peacemaker…the world needs peace…it is not just better for me…but better for everyone…when I create peace in myself…I create peace in the world…when I create peace in the world…I create peace in myself…Let there be peace on Earth…and let it begin with me.
[How to use these tapping phrases]
How can I use EFT to deal with holiday stress?
The holidays can be stressful times. In tthis audio I lead you through many of the most common reasons for holiday stress and then lead you through 30 minutes of tapping. I hope you enjoy.
I know EFT is most effective when I am really specific about what I am tapping on, but I am really having a problem with that because there are so many emotions at once I don’t know where to start. One thought leads to the next that leads to the next. What do I do when I don’t know what to focus on because there is so much going on at once?
Almost every resource on Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), including mine, will tell you that the fastest way to have success with EFT is to be as specific as possible. But there are times when this is really hard to do. Unfortunately, when we don’t know where to start we are much less likely to do any EFT at all.
Having a whole constellation of emotions all at once is much more common than you would think. It most often happens with my clients when we are starting a session. At the beginning of a session, after the small talk, I generally ask the client, “What would you like to spend our time on today?”
My client will then share what their hope is for the session. Sometimes they will have a whole list of issues. These issues can be related to each other, or they might be just a whole group of issues that have come up since we last talked. Often after talking about what they would like to work on they will be very emotional (because of all the emotion they stirred up as they described their issues) or they will say something like, “…and I have no idea where to begin.”
In these cases I would lead them in a tapping session much like this:
“I would like you to start tapping and close your eyes…take a deep breath…I would like you to tune into all the emotions and issues you just brought up…not in any specific way…but just in a general way…tune into the total constellation of emotions…don’t try in any way to see any specific part…just tune into them all together…you might notice them somewhere in your body…or outside your body…just listen to my words…right now I have lots of emotions all at once…I am not sure where to start with all these emotions…but that’s okay…we have lots of time to deal with them in the order they need to be dealt with…I am thankful for all these emotions…every one of these emotions represents a part of my that is trying to protect me…or a lesson my body wants me to learn…I am thankful that my body is willing to do this for me…to take care of me by having me feel these emotions…but right now what I really want to do is learn these lessons…and let these emotions pass…I thank my body for its healing ability…and the fact that I can let these go right now…right now I see light and energy and healing pouring into this constellation of emotions…there is some other place these emotions are needed in the universe…they are no longer needed here…so any of these emotions that need to go somewhere else can do that now…any of the emotions that want to stick around are now changed into something else that is helpful to me…just feel the constellation of emotion melting away…one more deep breath…and open your eyes. [How to use these tapping phrases]
After we do this, I check in with my client to see what has come to mind and where we need to head next. Typically this has calmed my client down a great deal, enough that they can see much more clearly what they need to be tapping on next.
This might be compared to cleaning a house that hasn’t been lived in for a long time. When you first walk in it’s completely overwhelming because trash and dirt are everywhere. The first step is to get some big plastic bags and just walk through the house grabbing all the big things that are obviously trash. After you do this you can see more clearly what the next step is.
You don’t need to be working with a practitioner to do something like this. The next time you’re struggling to know where to begin your tapping, take a few moments to just tap on the group of emotions. After you do this you will have a little more focus knowing which issues to tune in to first.
[This article is by Catherine Poole. Catherine is a medical intuitive who has spent decades studying and teaching color theory. In this article she explores what each color represents when it comes to healing. At the end of this article there is a short audio which shows you how to combine color with EFT. Catherine is available for private reading (which can be done in phone sessions) and can be contacted at http://CatherinePoole.com/.
Teleclass with Catherine Poole: Color, Disease and EFT]
Your body knows what colors you need to improve and balance your emotional state. Color is not simply a pleasurable aesthetic experience. Color is energy and our bodies are energy. Color does not solely exist in order to make our world look pretty. Color vibrates, is energy, and it gives us energy and can help with our moods. Color influences each of us physically as well as psychologically and emotionally. Color is associated with specific qualities and certain colors can be used to promote certain abilities.
Every color projects a mood because each color effects certain emotions and certain centers of energy in your body, and also influence certain organs and functions. I taught color theory and human response to color for many years and was a professor at the University of Notre Dame from 1991-2001. I now use my research and knowledge to help clients, doctors and their patients understand color, energy, health and attitude. As a medical intuitive, my work is similar to how a criminal profiler works with police, I help clients understand WHAT their body is communicating and how to listen, understand and heal. Color is a vital factor in the healing process. Color can provide you with energy, healing opportunities and insight into your life.
Red symbolizes raw human emotions therefore sex, drugs and rock & roll! It is unpredictable, intense and can be associated with fear and control. It stimulates the release of adrenaline into the blood stream. Red is associated with all body parts involving solids. Bones, muscles, teeth, and organs dealing with solid waste (large intestine and colon) are all associated with base or red energy.
Orange influences areas of your body dealing with fluid/water such as kidneys, lymphatic system, blood, even menstrual flow and reproductive areas. Orange also represents emotions and creativity, promotes a happy outlook, so it helps with issues of sadness.
Bring on the orange when:
Yellow represents your sense of self. Yellow influences areas of your body that burn energy, such as stomach, pancreas, small intestine and any organs which deal with metabolizing food. Yellow promotes healthy self-image, and supports ego. Yellow stimulates thinking and supports the quest for knowledge.
Bring on the yellow when:
Many associate the color pink or red with love. However, it is actually green which emanates love. Green represents teaching and relationships. Green assists us in relating to our environment, our relationships with ourselves or others, and with our spiritual source. Green influences areas of your body dealing with air, control and nurturing such as lungs, heart and breasts. I do not encourage wearing a lot of green when healing from cancer, blue is more beneficial, although green holds the self-esteem qualities of yellow and the healing qualities of blue, green can promote growth, so use it in balance, but not extensively.
Bring on the green when:
The throat center is your center of communication. Truth, loyalty, honesty are all represented by the color blue. Blue influences areas of your body that address communication, such as the throat, ears and even hands. Blue is calming and healing. I often recommend those healing from breast cancer wear blue bras, but also wear a blue stone or necklace which helps enhance the healing process.
Bring on the blue when:
Violet is the color of intuition and integration of ideas. It is associated with eyes and your sinuses. It combines the healing, calming qualities of blue and the energy of red, therefore it helps in balancing your life.
Bring on the violet when:
Indigo holds more healing qualities of blue, whereas violet has a tendency toward red.
Bring on the indigo when:
White is all colors and when added to create pastels, white brings a sense of calming. The addition of white promotes a “higher” quality of the color from which it originates. Pink, for example is nurturing and spiritual because it takes the passion and energy of red and calms it down to the nurturing qualities of pink.
Black is what I refer to as a magnifier. Those trying to intimidate by wearing all black are really communicating they need direction! Black magnifies any adjacent color Black absorbs color and is easily influenced. If you need benefits of a color but do not want to be decked out in red or yellow, wear black and accent with the color you feel you need. Let black do the work for you and take the color healing and color energy to the place on your body that needs it most! This can be done with jewelry, a scarf, a belt or a shirt or sweater.
Accenting with a color can bring in a mood or certain direction into your life. If you are depressed, buy an orange mouse pad or placemats. Drink from a green coffee mug if you do not like who you are at the moment! (“I love me” is a great corresponding affirmation with green.) You can change the entire energy of a room by painting a corresponding stripe on the wall or changing the throw rugs or accent pillows. It does not have to be a complete renovation. But again ask yourself what you need to bring into your life and work with the corresponding color. What was going on in your life when you decided to paint your bedroom?, bought a new shirts? or introduced a new color in your life? You can better understand what is happening and what energy you need by comparing color to what is occurring in their life. Chances are you need the energy of that color to help you heal and move forward.
I know EFT works because it has worked for me before. For some reason I just can’t get myself to sit down and do the tapping I want and need to do. What is my problem, and is there anything I can do about it?
 photo by Jon Marshall |
I’ve lived this reality myself. I know how powerful Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is. But there are times that I just can’t do the work I know I need to do. [As a side note, sometimes I then get frustrated with myself for not doing the work I need to do, which makes me feel worse. That is a story for another time.]y for another time.]
Avoidance of tapping is a very common problem. There are a number of very good reasons for this type of resistance.
First, change can be scary. Change implies something different. Different is unknown. Unknown can bring problems we doubt we can handle. Sure there might be problems right now, but we know how to manage these problems. It may not be perfect, but we have tools to deal with it. Even though it feels good to leave these problems behind, it’s hard to move to a place where there might be new problems we can’t manage.
Second, the current situation with its associated emotional baggage is serving us. Every piece (e.g., a fear that protects us from danger or a limiting belief that keeps us from stepping out only to fail). On some level we know this baggage is serving us.
Intellectually we can understand that these are not good reasons to resist doing the EFT work we need to do, but that does not stop there power from preventing us from sitting down to do EFT. For this reason, I love starting an EFT session by tapping away any resistance to change that exists.
It takes only a few minutes. Once I have done this I am ready to go after my issues.
Would you like to have a version of this audio you can download, burn to a CD or load on your mp3 player? (This is a half priced tap-a-long audio!) Buy it here