Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #247: EFT For Giving Thanks

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eft-forI have found in my own life that one of the most powerful emotions is gratitude. When we feel a sense of gratitude, even during trying times, it moves us to a disposition of possibility.

It is important to note that this is not some fake, Pollyannish sense of hopefulness. It is possible to have a healthy sense of what is truly going on in our lives and be thankful at the same time.

Here is a very simple tap-along to help you to connect with a healthy and genuine sense of gratitude.

Note: Below the player you will find the tapping script used in this audio. If you prefer tapping scripts to the audio versions of the tap-along, you should check out the Tapping Q & A app for both Android and Apple devices. I am in the process of adding printed tapping scripts from all past tap-along audios to the app. They can be accessed by clicking on the text tab once in the app. Download here: Apple App |Google/Andriod App

I recognize the fact that my life is not perfect…I recognize the fact that the world is not perfect…I recognize the fact there are lots of things that I would change if I could change them…I know the lives around me aren’t perfect either…But at the exact same time I appreciate the fact that there are many things that are good…There are many things that are great…Even though my body is not perfect…I am thankful to have a body to move through this world with…Even though my mind is not perfect I am thankful for my creativity…Even though my relationships aren’t perfect…I am grateful for my ability to connect with others…Even though my interactions with others aren’t perfect…I appreciate the fact that there are others who inspire me…I know the world is not perfect…But I can be thankful the exact same time…I am thankful for life…I’m thankful for choice…I am thankful for opportunity…I am thankful for inspiration…I am thankful for education…I am thankful for healing…I am thankful for transformation…I am thankful that I can learn from others…I am thankful that I can be challenged…I am thankful for a new day…I am thankful for a new opportunity…I am thankful for rest and relaxation…I am thankful for people in my life…I am thankful for challenge…I am thankful…I am thankful for time to be thankful…I am thankful…I am thankful…I am thankful…I am thankful.

Pod 246: Why It Is Important to Be Selfish

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whyitsimportanttobeselfishNote: This week’s topic is so important that I have written an article and recorded a podcast. The article shares the same ideas, but is not a transcript of the podcast. This way you can choose the form that works best for you. The tapping script is identical in both the article and podcast.

I think that being selfish gets a really bad rap. Most people think that being selfish is bad and we are taught from a young age to be giving and not selfish.

Personally I don’t believe that being selfish and being giving are opposites.

Instead, I believe that every action I take is a selfish one because it is a self-defining act. Let me give you a few ridiculous examples to help prove my point.

  • Right now as I type this article I am taking a deep breath in, which means I am being selfish. There is no other reason to breathe than to stay alive. That is very selfish.

  • When I choose to love my family I am being selfish because I want to be a loving person. When I choose to love someone (and it is a choice), I am defining myself as a loving person.

  • When I choose to run my practice and help other people, I am being selfish because I am choosing how I use my time. Yes, I am helping people, and that is a great thing, but I am not healing them. That is their choice. I am just a guide in the process. They are being selfish when they choose to heal. I am being selfish when I choose to articulate who I am as a person who guides others on this path.

I know these examples are extremes, but I think they bring out the point because we tend to think of being selfish in such extreme terms.

Not only is it OK to be selfish, it is impossible not to be selfish because every action we make with our conscious choice is a self-defining act.

When I work out to get healthier, I am being selfish because I could be doing other things with my time. When I study a new skill, I am being selfish in order to make myself a different type of person. I am being selfish when I take a nap so I can be more present to my clients later in the afternoon.

It is OK to be selfish.

The reason you are still feeling uncomfortable every time you read that is because it is easy to believe that selfish equals greedy, mean, heartless, and willing to hurt others. We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we will never be able to take care of others.

We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves then we aren’t taking care of ourselves.

We need to be selfish. If we don’t take care of ourselves we are never going to grow and heal in to who we truly are.

Yes, I know you are still resisting this, despite my repetition. That is OK. Tapping for this might sound like:

I don’t want to be selfish…Because I need to care for other people…There are people who have it so much worse than I do…That I can’t ask for anything more or better…And the things I have…I have squandered…It would be really selfish to ask for more…But I choose to know that selfish means I am making self-defining act…Every choice I make is a selfish act…I can love someone else and be selfish…Because I want to be love…I can care for someone else because they are in need and be selfish…Because I want to be giving…This doesn’t take anything away from those loving acts…This doesn’t mean they are less valuable…It just means that when I am sharing…I am also defining myself…It is OK to want better for myself…Because I can then share with others…It is OK to want more for myself because then I can share more of myself with others…I am worthy of taking care of myself…That is not greedy…That is being healthy….I need to be healthy…I must be healthy…It is OK that I don’t think being selfish is a bad thing…I don’t want to be mean…I don’t want to be greedy…But those are not the same as being selfish…To be selfish is to choose the type of self I want to be.

Pod #243: EFT For When We Are Waiting On Others To Make A Choice

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eft-for-when-you-are-waiting-on-others-to-chooseThere is so much of the world that we do not control. We are surrounded by people, just like us, who are making choices and exercising their free will.

In many ways, we can’t escape the impact of other people’s choices, especially when we are collaborating with others.

That means we often have to wait on someone else to make a choice so that we can move forward with what we want to do. We can be worried that they will make a choice that we don’t like OR we can feel stuck because we can’t do anything until they choose.

Here is a simple tap-along to find peace while waiting on others to choose.

A full transcript of the tap-along can be found below the player.

I recognize the fact that one of the reasons I am so frustrated is because I have a clear vision of what I want…it’s something I am super excited about and I know how good it’s going to be…I know how it’s going to make my life better…the problem is I can’t do it on my own…I need someone else to say yes…I’m glad I have someone I can work with…I’m glad I have someone I might be able to go through this with because it is going to be so much better because they are at my side…I know it is something that is impossible for me to do on my own…but it is really hard waiting for them to say yes because I want this so badly…if they wanted it like I want it then they already would have said yes…the fact that they haven’t said yes feels like a judgement…feels like they’re saying I’m not worthy…feels like they might want to do it but with someone else…it feels as if my desires aren’t important…it feels as if my wants aren’t important…I can understand that other people have choice…I’m glad other people have choice…I only want them to do what is right for them but I also recognize the fact it is hard waiting…I give myself permission to know that them not answering is not a judgement on me…them not answering is not a rejection…them not answering is simply them thinking…making sure it is the right fit for them …I’m glad they’re being thoughtful…I can appreciate that they’re being deliberate…this is how it fits into their life…it’s not a judgment of me…even if this doesn’t work out…no matter how great this is…this is not my last opportunity…this is not my last chance…this is not my only chance…I can and will have more opportunities…I give myself permission to be open to knowing that if I keep taking deliberate action good will come

Pod #231: EFT For Facing Past Choices

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EFT For Facing Past Choices 2

My favorite phrase that I hear from my clients when we are in the middle of a session is “this probably has nothing to do with it, but…” and then they share some story that seems unconnected. We usually find that a story coming out of left field like this has everything to do with it.

It never ceases to amaze me how much we carry our past into each moment of our lives and how much that past impacts us. I have spoken to a number clients in the last few weeks who have felt that they weren’t worthy of something good in the present because of a poor choice they made in the past.

It is important that we take responsibility for our choices, but that does not mean that we have to remain a prisoner to our choices for all time. Here is a tap-along to help you face those past choices of which you are not proud.

Thank You For Hearing Me

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My walk home from Thanksgiving dinner took about a half an hour. It was a quiet afternoon and the Brooklyn streets were almost deserted.

As I was walking I started singing Sinéad O’Connor’s “Thank You For Hearing Me.” I find it to be a such a profound and holy song (and I don’t use the word holy lightly).

It would perfect to tap along to today.
[Read more…] about Thank You For Hearing Me

I Don’t Want You Always To Be Impressive

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photo by ArtsieAspie

One of the main reasons we hold ourselves back from taking action is our need to be perfect.

We want everything we do to be great AND we want everyone around us to think we are great too.

Often times if even the smallest thought exists that others aren’t going to see us (and everything we do) as great we don’t take action.

Most of the time this isn’t a conscious choice. We just don’t take the action we want to take and just get busy with something else.

I was recently working with “Rachel” on this issue. We did some great tapping on tuning into some of the reasons why she needed everything to be perfect before taking action.

About 45 minutes after our session I received this email:

I did some more tapping after our session, which brought me to a lightbulb moment – I seem to have believed, for God knows how long, that in order for me to be “good enough”, everything I do has to be impressive. That is an impossible standard, of course, but one that quite insidious in my daily thoughts…

So, I now give myself permission to be unimpressive, to make unimpressive art, to have unimpressive ideas and opinions, to have unimpressive dreams and goals, to have an unimpressive plan for the summer, to read unimpressive books… you get the idea.

What a relief! With impressive out of the way it has created real room to breathe.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. It is amazing the space we can create for ourselves when we give ourselves permission to be unimpressive!

Take a deep breath and tap on this:

I give myself permission to be unimpressive…I give myself permission to make unimpressive art…I give myself permission to have unimpressive ideas and opinions…I give myself permission to have unimpressive dreams and goals…I give myself permission to read unimpressive books…I give myself permission to [insert your own ideas].

Take another deep breath.

How does that feel? Let me know down in the comment section. I would also love to hear the things you inserted for yourself.

If you would like guidance on how you can use tapping for issues like this one in just a few minutes every day, please check out the Ruach Center.

Want To Improve Your Self-Discipline? Tap For A Better Night’s Sleep

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I recently came across this very interesting quote on one of my favorite websites explore:

The amount of sleep you get predicts the discipline your body can produce. Why? Sleep deprivation depletes the glucose level in your pre-frontal cortex, Barnes writes. This has consequences for your decision-making: If you don’t get enough sleep, you leave your self-control engine running on empty. If you do get enough sleep, you restore that fuel base.


photo by reonis

I knew that sleep was important, I knew that I always felt better after a good night’s rest, and made better choices as a result.

I just didn’t have a clue as to why that was the case.

If you are interested in the full research study on what was discovered you can check out details on the study.

Now that that is clear, did you know that it is really easy to tap for good night’s sleep?

Here is how I tap for a good night of sleep. The link will take you to the tapping script I use before I go to sleep and also a pdf you can print out and put on your nightstand so you don’t forget to do it.

Tap for a good night’s sleep.

Get a good night’s sleep.

Improve glucose levels in your pre-frontal cortex.

Make better choices tomorrow.

Everybody wins!

Do it tonight: Tap for a good night of sleep!

Your Guilt Is Holding You Back AND It’s Holding Others Back

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photo by id-iom

Over the last few weeks I have done a lot of writing and recording on guilt and shame.

There have been two reasons for this. First, they have come up a lot in client calls as of late. Second, because they have been coming up so much for my clients I have been reflecting on them a lot in my own life. As I have stated before, shame is the emotion I find the hardest to deal with and the most debilitating.

If you missed some of the recents posts on this topic, make sure you check out here, here, and here.

A few weeks ago I attended the Spring Energy Event in the Hudson River Valley in New York. One of the speakers said something really interesting about guilt. (Unfortunately, I can’t remember who said it to give proper credit. If you were there and remember who it was please let me know so I can give credit.)

The statement was, “When you feel guilty about something you are holding the other person in a victim state.”

That is an amazing thought!

When I think I have done you wrong, not only does my guilt impact the way I see myself, but it also impacts the way I see you, and therefore the way I interact with you.

When I feel like I have hurt you, I will call you less, be hesitant in your presence, and be reluctant to spend time with you. Even if you don’t think I have done you wrong, my feeling of guilt about something I have done to you will hurt you now.

For me this is a real eye opener. I know it is good for me to tap for my own guilt, but taking care of myself isn’t always my strongest motivation to do work. But, I am more willing to do things that will help my loved ones.

By understanding that tapping for my own guilt and shame will help others encourages me to tap.

If you are looking for an easy way to tap for guilt or shame you can tap along with me in this short video.

What are your thoughts about seeing our own guilt as something that hurts others? Let me know below in the comments.

Video: EFT For Shame

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For me, the most painful and debilitating emotion is when I feel ashamed of something I have done wrong.

When I feel ashamed, it is because I know I could have done better or I chose the wrong path. Many times I know the right thing to do and still choose the wrong thing. That produces a lot of feeling ashamed!

And as I hate feeling ashamed, I limit my risk. I don’t take chances. Because if I don’t take chances then I can’t make poor choices. And if I can’t make poor choices then I avoid feeling ashamed.

This emotional state is the most powerful source of self sabotage in my life.

A few weeks ago I woke up on a Saturday morning and decided I need to tap for feeling ashamed. This video is the result.

Feel free to tap along with me:

If you would like guidance in helping you to tap regularly come over to MyEFTYear.com.