Human beings are social creatures.
That means that in order to thrive, we need to do more than just interact with others, we need to work together, whether collaboratively in a professional context, or by sharing enjoyable activities in our social lives.
Whenever we ask someone to do something with or for us, we risk being turned down. That may seem obvious, but there is a deeper issue at play because on a subconscious level, a rejection may be read as a rejection of us and who we are.
Even though this isn’t the case, if we are struggling with that emotion, we are unlikely to take the action that we want to take. When we don’t ask to connect and work with others, we miss opportunities and our lives aren’t as rich.
This week I have for you a simple tap-along (tapping script below) to help you to know it is safe to ask others, even if they might say no.
I recognize that I really want someone to say yes…Because if they say yes, it will be good for me…And it will be good for them…Because we’re doing something together, our lives will be better…If I ask them to do this…I’m giving them the opportunity to say no…And when someone says no to my request…Especially a request I really believe in…Especially a request I really want…It is easy to feel that when they say no, they are rejecting me as a person…Like they are saying I am not worth their time…They are saying I’m not worth their effort…They are saying I am not worth their energy…They are judging me as unworthy…Because when I ask for something…It is because I believe in it…On some level my request is part of me…And when they turn down my request, it feels as if they are turning me down…I give myself permission to recognize that when people say no to me…They are saying this is the wrong fit…They are saying this isn’t the right time…They’re saying they’re not in the right emotional state to say yes…They are saying they don’t understand what I am offering…When someone rejects my offer…That is not the same as rejecting me… They aren’t making a value statement about me…They’re not making a judgment of me…They are stating where they are…Therefore it is safe for me to ask…When I ask I’m giving them permission to say no…It is not judgment…It is not a statement of who they think I am…I give myself permission to know my life is better when I ask for what I want…Even if most of the time people say no…Every time someone says yes it is an opportunity and experience I wouldn’t otherwise have…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I ask…Knowing that my ask doesn’t have to be perfect…It is safe for me to want what I want…And it is safe for me to ask…It is even safe for me to hear them say no.