Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Is It OK For Christians To Use EFT?

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photo by Gene Monterastelli

As you may or may not know, since 1996 I have traveled the US and Canada speaking and performing as part of APeX Ministries. APeX is a Catholic Christian performance ministry that works with teens and because of this I am frequently asked about tapping from a Christian point of view.

Here are my thoughts on the topic. Please be warned that I am not speaking for Christians, Catholics, or any specific denomination. These are my thoughts and my thoughts alone. I would love your feedback in the comment section below.

Instead of tackling the topic all at once here are the four most common questions I am asked about the topic.

Is EFT evil and/or does it come from an evil place?

EFT is a mechanical process. If you follow the steps it will work. Much like an aspirin it will work even if you don't believe in it. There have been over 50 peer reviewed studies for using EFT with stress, PTSD, and physical issues and it is probable that in the next 12 months EFT will be considered an evidence based technique (check out summaries of the studies).

Often the problem isn't with EFT itself, but when it is combined with things that are not evidence based. Here is my favorite way to explain this concept:

We know that vitamin C is good for our health. Let's pretend that because it is good for our health people decide to start using it for other things. They start adding it to their shampoo to deal with dandruff, they add it to lotion to improve their skin, they sprinkle it in the garden to help their crops grow, and they make earrings out of it to keep evil spirits away.

Just because people are doing wacky things with vitamin C it doesn't stop it from keeping us healthy during cold and flu season, but it becomes much easier to dismiss its usefulness when it when it is surrounded by things that are less grounded.

I love the fact that EFT is something that is so easy to access and share, but it comes with the drawback that everyone who presents EFT becomes a spokesperson for EFT. Some people do this in a highly credible way, while others are less successful. I find it so frustrating when EFT websites have things like dragonflies and butterflies on them. Yes, they are cute, but they don't present this powerful healing tool in a very professional light.

When working with EFT it is important that you work with people you trust and learn from sources that share your world view to ensure you are getting what you need and what is the best fit for you.

Can EFT be useful for my spiritual journey?

I have found EFT to be an extremely powerful tool in my personal growth. Many of the ways it has been helpful has been with my spiritual journey and spiritual life, which is easiest to illustrate through an example:

I believe that I have been created worthy of God's unconditional love. It is not something that I have to earn in any way and it is always there. My problem isn't in believing in God's unconditional love, but the fact that I prevent myself from fully acknowledging and receiving it.

I will hear someone say “God loves you unconditionally” and the little voice in my head will pipe up, “That is true for others but not you,” or “It would be true if you didn't do those horribly selfish things!” or “Maybe someday, but you are too much of a screw-up to be loved in that way right now.”

Even though it is true that I am loved unconditionally by God, I end up living as if that isn't true.

EFT has been a powerful tool in my life in uprooting the beliefs around feeling unworthy of God's love. As I remove these beliefs it makes it easier and easier for me to see myself as God sees me.

EFT is no replacement for spiritual practices, an active prayer life, or participating in a supportive loving community of fellow believers who encourage us and keep us accountable. It is one more tool that we can add to our regular practice to keep us healthy and facilitate our growth and healing in conjunction with many other tools.

What is the deal with “We are all energy”?

In my mind this a case of a little information being dangerous. The statement itself is accurate. Everything in the universe is energy. Einstein's theory of relativity concerns this fact. E = m c ^2 says that an amount of matter (m) multiplied by a really big number (c ^ 2 is the speed of light squared) is equal to the amount of energy of which it is made.

In layman's terms that means if we were able to turn the coffee cup on your desk into its pure energy form, it would be enough energy to blow the state of Kansas off the face of the earth. (Just because that is true, doesn't mean it is easy. If it were easy we wouldn't need oil to provide power, but that is another issue.)

The place that people start to go astray is how they apply what this means for us in an EFT sense. There are ramifications for this fact on a quantum level, but I am not smart enough to explain them (also at this point most of our quantum understanding is theoretical).

Most of the people who speak in this way are doing it terms of the “Law of Attraction” (LOA). If you would like my opinion specifically about LOA check out this conversation I had with Carol Look.

Just know that you can use EFT for physical and emotional issues without having to concern yourself with this approach or these issues. If someone is speaking in LOA terms and it makes you uncomfortable, then steer clear of their resources. It means they are not the right fit for you. It doesn't mean that EFT is bad.

What about when people talk about that we are co-creators?

Often times Christians have trouble with the term co-creator. It can feel like by making a statement like this we are putting ourselves on the same level as God. I don't believe this is the case. I use this term in two ways.

First, I am a creature who has been given free will. My life does not unfold unless I am exercising my free will by making choices. I create my own experience, but I am not doing this on my own. My experience is also created by the choices that are made by those around me, in both positive and negative ways. Someone in my life can choose to give me a new job opportunity or someone can hit me with a car. In both instances their choices are impacting the life I am creating for myself and in that sense we are co-creating, i.e. creating together, my experience. We don't have an equal sense of how much we are contributing to this reality, but both parts are creating it together.

Second, I believe part of my calling from God is to exercise my free will and to create a meaningful life. I can only do this because I have been given life, gifts, talents, and opportunities from God. Again, in that sense my experience is created in a combination of what God has given me and the choices I make, in other words a co-creation. This does not imply an equivalence between me and God, simply a working together.

Conclusion

I hope you find my reflections helpful. I am still on my own learning journey and don't claim to have all (or any) of the answers. I would love to hear your thoughts. Please add your thoughts or questions below so others can benefit from them, or drop me a note to let me know what is on your mind on the contact page.

Pod #87: EFT For Shoulders And Shoulds w/ Gwenn Bonnell

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In preparing for the podcast I usually exchange a few emails and do a pre-interview with the guest to figure out what topic we will cover and to create a plan for the interview so that it goes smoothly. When I was doing my pre-interview with Gwenn Bonnell I asked her what she wanted to talk about.

She said, “We could talk about shoulders and shoulds.”

I asked her repeat it because I wanted to make sure I heard her right. She really said, “shoulders and shoulds”.

I know many issues have a tendency to show up in the same part of the body over and over again, but I had never heard of the connection between shoulder issues and the things we feel we should do.

In this interview Gwenn does an amazing job of making the connection and showing us how we can respond with EFT.

Guest: Gwenn Bonnell

Contact Gwenn: web @ TapIntoHeaven.com; web @ TapAwayPain.com; email @ gwenn@tapintoheaven.com; phone @ 954 370 1552

About Gwenn: Gwenn is a writer, teacher and lecturer. She offers private sessions and training and workshops at Heaven On Earth in Davie, Florida. A graduate of the College of Health and Human Development, Penn State University, she is a member of ACEP, the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and has trained personally with Gary Craig (developer of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques), Dr. Larry Nims (BSFF, Be Set Free Fast), Tapas Fleming (TAT, Tapas Acupressure Techniques), Donna Eden and David Feinstein (Energy Medicine), Sandi Radomski (Allergy Antidotes), Alan Handelsman (Muscle Testing), Paul Burdelski (Touch for Health), and Piilani (Huna Kane).

Are You Entitled to Success? Passive Entitlement v. Active Entitlement

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our minds, giving us opportunities for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

photo by SweetCakery

In a recent episode of “Making It w/ Riki Lindhome” Riki and Pete Holmes were talking about the idea of entitlement. They were discussing the sense of entitlement that many young actors have when they first get to Hollywood. Many of them arrive in Los Angeles having been stars of their local theater scene. They think that by simply showing up they are entitled to success.

Riki made a distinction between “passive” and “active” entitlement. She stated that passive entitlement is when you show up to a situation and simply expect to get your way. For example, in a new job feeling like I should be able to work on the coolest projects.

On the other hand active entitlement is much more about what you are willing to work for. For example, who is to say that I am not capable of writing a best selling book? Writers of best sellers are not a preordained group of people who were destined for success. If I am willing to put in the work (i.e. by being active) then I, as much as anyone else, am entitled to create a best seller.

When we are in a state of passive entitlement we are not going to be able to move forward and are going to feel bitter that the universe is not giving us our just deserts. When we are in a state of active entitlement we recognize that we are capable of anything if we are willing to seize the opportunity.

To make sure that we are in a state of active entitlement we can tap on something like this:

I know that I am capable of being successful…I know that I have been made for success…but success and opportunity aren’t going to just show up at my front door…I need to seek success…I need to work for success…The universe owes me nothing more than the opportunity to work for what I am made to be…This does not mean that it must be a great struggle…This does not mean that I have to toil to achieve success…But I am entitled to success…I am entitled to opportunity…I have been made for this…I give myself permission to work actively towards the opportunities and success I am entitled to.

Action Step: What is something that you feel others are entitled too, but isn’t for you? Take a few moments to tap on it with the script above. Do it now! It will only take 90 seconds.

Can’t Keep Up? 6 Ways to Simplify Your Daily EFT Routine

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Learning EFT can be very exciting at first. Tapping is so easy.

Anyone can do it!

It can be done anywhere!

It seems to work for everything.

You download podcasts, tapping scripts, and ebooks. You start working on a personal peace procedure, listing every bad memory you have in your life. You decide you are going to tap for your health, your relationships, your creativity, and getting a better job.

And then…

It just becomes too much!

You feel overwhelmed with how much work you need to do, how far you want to go, and feeling like there is not enough time to deal with everything.

It's going to ok!

Take a big deep breath and relax…you don’t have to do it all right now!

Healing is process, not a moment. You are not going to do it all at once. It is ok to let the process unfold over time. You want a long-term, lasting fix. You don’t want something that is quick, but does not last.

Here are 6 things to help prevent you from becoming overwhelmed with tapping and the amount of change you want to bring about in your life.

1) Limit Your Daily Tapping Sessions To 7 Minutes

On an average day I spend about 7 minutes tapping. I start my day by making sure I am relaxed and calm about what is ahead. I know that on the surface it doesn’t seem like I am doing very much towards my healing process, but these 7 minutes make a huge difference.

When you start the day from a relaxed, balanced place it puts you into a state of mind where you can respond easily to the unexpected. Being able to respond more easily to the unexpected means less stress in your day. Less stress means less overreaction, and less overreaction means less stress.

When you release all the stress from your day before you go to bed you sleep better. When you sleep better you start the next day in a better place. When you start your day in a better place…well you know how it goes…see paragraph above.

I am not saying that you shouldn't go after major issues. I am not saying that you shouldn’t tap for longer than 7 minutes. You really only need to do longer tapping sessions once or twice a week. If you combine doing daily stress management with a few longer sessions each week you will make lots of progress.

Looking for help on how to tap at the beginning and end of the day? Check out these tap along audios.

2) Let Someone Else Do The Heavy Lifting

Sometimes it is hard to tap because we don’t know where to start. There is so much that we can’t find an entry point. When this happens give your mind a break and let someone else come up with the tapping phrases. Did you know that there are over 35 free tap along audios on this site? Well, now you do. Pick one, hit play, and let the audio do the hard work.

3) It's All About Love And Acceptance

Recently I did an interesting interview with Steve Wells on Self Acceptance. Steve proposed that the root of all issues is that we don’t fully love and accept ourselves.

On some level, when we hear this, it might make us shudder. There is nothing about tapping that my clients complain about more than having to say “I love and accept myself …” as part of the set up phrase.

I don’t know if I fully agree with Steve, but I think one of the reasons that we struggle with saying the set up phrase is because we find loving and accepting ourselves difficult.

If you don’t enjoy saying the set up phrase or if you are looking for an easy, concise set of phrases to tap to visit the set up phrase generator. Each time you reload the page it will give you 10 unique tapping set up phrases. Tap through the list. After you have finished, just refresh the page and it will generate 10 more. Do that two or three more times. It takes less than 5 minutes, you will feel great and will not become overwhelmed with having to dive into lots of issues.

4) Give Yourself Permission To Tap For Just One Issue At A Time

Many of the issues we have are intertwined. When we work on one part, we are working on the whole. It's ok to give yourself permission to let the healing process unfold over time. It is very easy to feel like we are not doing enough each time we sit down to tap. If that is what you are dealing with then start your tapping session with this:

I give myself permission to know that it is a healing process…not a healing moment…I give myself permission to know that I don't have to do it all today…I don't have to clear it all in one session…I know that if I do a little work today it is going to get me closer to the health and freedom that I want…Each time I tap I am going to clear a little more…each session is going to build on the last…I don't have to do it all right now…

5) Basket/Container Tapping

One of my favorite tools is to tap for all your issues at once. It is a very simple technique that is often called the basket or container technique. Here is audio instruction for the Container Process.

6) Tap Without Tapping

Did you know you can tap without having to tap? It is possible to tap by just imagining you are tapping. It is also possible to find relief without having to tune into a specific issue. Once you learn it from this short audio you will be able to do it anytime, anywhere and it will only look like you are sitting quietly with your eyes closed. It's so funky it doesn't have a name, but you will love it! Listen to it now.

EFT Script Generator

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Are you having trouble coming up with tapping phrases? Here is a simple solution: think of an emotion that you would like to work on, such as anger, sadness, feeling overwhelmed etc., and answer the questions that follow. Once you have answered all of the questions, hit submit and *poof* there is a tapping script!

Name a negative emotion:

Describe in detail what happened in a situation where you felt this emotion:

Describe in detail how it affected you when it happened:

Describe in detail how it is effecting you now:

Describe in detail all of the negative outcomes of what happened when it happened:

Describe in detail all of the negative outcomes you are experiencing today from this situation:

Describe in detail how you feel about the outcomes:

Describe in detail all possible future negative outcomes from what happened:

Describe in detail how you feel about these possible future outcomes:

If you had the power to change anything about this situation describe in detail how you change it:

Pod #86: EFT For Feeling Overwhelmed w/ Carol Look

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Stress is not becoming a part of our daily lives, it is already part of our daily lives. What is now common is that we moving from a general level of stress to feeling completely overwhelmed. The difficulty with feeling overwhelmed is that once we are in the middle of it we can't see clearly enough to reach for a tool like EFT. In this interview with Carol Look we look at the simple things we can do daily to keep our stress in check and keep us from becoming overwhelmed.

Guest: Dr. Carol Look

Contact: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT

About Carol: A pioneer in the Energy Psychology field, Dr. Carol Look has brought unprecedented innovations to the application of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), and has produced outstanding results for her clients around the world.

How To See If EFT Really Worked

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Q: When I have finished a tapping session I feel so much better, but I can’t tell if anything has changed in a lasting way. How can I tell if the tapping session has really landed and made a difference?

photo by o5com

In many ways our physical environment is a reflection of our mental state. The spaces in which we live and work are filled with things that remind us of our emotional triggers. The pile of unpaid bills, the photo of our family, the living room that just won’t stay clean, the pile of work on your desk, and the look of your co-worker’s desk can all remind you of what is going on in your emotional life.

One of my favorite ways of seeing how I am doing after I have tapped is to interact with my environment. If I am at home I go from room to room looking at everything, and making sure that I do not rush as I do this. I will pay attention to what is on the floor, hanging on the walls, and the general state of the space. (The same works if you are in your office.)

As I am walking around I pay attention to my emotional state. Do I get a feeling of overwhelm or do I have the feeling that I can clearly see what the next steps are in cleaning and rearranging my space? If there are negative emotions then this is a sign that I could use some more tapping. Often, as I move through the rooms, I will see the things that I can do right now to make things better. I am filled with ideas and motivation. This is a sign that the tapping was very fruitful.

Obviously this type of test isn’t going to work with every type of issue we tap on, but the way we respond emotionally to our physical environment is usually helpful in gauging how we are doing emotionally.

[Side note: This process also works in reverse. Here is how you can use your space to find out what you need to tap on: Cleaning House]

Pod #85: EFT For Money, Success, and Personal Power w/ Margaret M. Lynch

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“Manifesting” more money in our lives is not about sitting in a dark room with our eyes closed, listening to instrumental music, and imagining that we are a giant magnet pulling big chunks of gold towards us.

The way we bring more money into our lives is about recognizing new opportunities for making more money and getting out of our own way enough to act on these opportunities. When we see these opportunities clearly and are acting from the things we know how to do, it feel like money just shows up. It becomes effortless because we are no longer fighting to find opportunity and we are no longer fighting ourselves emotionally.

In the interview with Margaret we talk about exactly how to put ourselves into a place where making money feels easy.

 

Margaret M. Lynch

Guest: Margaret M. Lynch

Contact Info: web @ MargaretMLynch.com; twitter @MargaretNESC; facebook @ fb.com/mmlsuccesscoach; YouTube @ youtu.be/MargaretMLynch; email: contact

Bio: The Wall Street Journal Calls her “The Wealth Manifestation Authority”! Margaret M. Lynch has x-ray vision for seeing the fears and limiting beliefs that keep success minded people limited in their money and personal power. An accomplished Success Coach, bestselling author and top Emotional Freedom Technique (“Tapping”) expert , Margaret delivers high-impact transformation that clears the inner blocks to wealth and success and creates the “on-fire enthusiasm and charisma” that is key to skyrocketing wealth.

The Minimalist Guide to Tapping to Avoid Getting Sick: 3 Things You Can Do Every Day In 90 Seconds

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photo by Doug88888

There are lots of ways to tap for our physical health. Personally, I have a tapping script that is almost 2000 words long that I tap through morning and evening during the cold and flu season (especially when I am traveling and/or spending lots of time with germy students).

But it doesn't have to be that complicated. Here are three simple things you can do which will make a huge difference in keeping you healthy.

Wash Your Hands Before You Tap

There are tapping points very close to our mouths and noses so before we start touching our faces it is a good idea to wash our hands. (Yes, with soap, hot water, and for at least 30 seconds just like your mother taught you!) In addition to keeping germs away from your mouth and nose, you will also wash the oil and grime off your hands before tapping which will help prevent your face from turning into a tapping chart with each point highlighted by a pimple.

Tapping Before You Eat

You are what you eat! All sorts of things can get into your system by piggy-backing on to your food. I have found it very effective to tap with and for my food right before I eat.

As with all tapping, the key is to tune into the issue at hand and tap. With food all we need to do is look at the food we are about to eat (you can even hold the plate in your non-tapping hand), concentrate on the food, and tap. By bringing your attention to the plate of food (and whatever else is on the food) you are bringing it into the thought field for tapping. I normally do one or two quick rounds of tapping and then eat.

[Note: As a bonus I might also tap on the phrase, “May this food feed my dreams, health and well being AND not feed any of my fears.]

Give Your Body A Pep Talk AND Unleash Its Healing Powers

I have found it super helpful to let the body know that it is made for healing, that I want it to be healthy, and for it to know that it has permission to unleash its healing powers right now and throughout the day. I tap on something as simple as this:

I know my system is made for health and well being…I know my system was created to be a healing machine…Much of the healing it does happens in unconscious and subconscious ways…I thank my system for doing this in a way that I don't need to think about…I give my system permission to unleash its healing powers…I give my system permission to do what it needs to do to keep moving me towards health and well being…if my system needs anything to help the healing process all it needs to do is ask…I want to know what my system needs to be healthier…I love my system…I know it is a healing rock star…Do your thing!!!

Does that seem a little silly? Yes. Does it work? Yes!

Add these three simple things to your daily routine and it will make a huge difference to your level of energy and health.

Let me know what tricks and tips you use when tapping to get healthy or stay healthy.

Pod #84: Using EFT And Tapping With Your Inner Committee w/ Ann Ross

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One of the keys to effective EFT and tapping is to be clearly tuned into the issue we want to address. There are lots of creative ways of doing this. In this interview I talk with Ann Ross about how we can use a simple technique of working with our ‘inner committee’ to isolate specific issues and transform them rapidly.

Ann's helpful approach is easy to understand and you will quickly be able to add it to your daily tapping routine.


Ann Ross

Guest: Ann Ross

Contact: web @ eftuk.net

About Ann: Ann was introduced to EFT nine years ago and was so inspired by the personal transformations that she experienced that she was determined to use it to help her own clients. So she trained in Energy Psychology and has now been a practitioner for eight years. Every day she witnesses amazing transformation in her clients.

She treats clients with a wide range of emotional problems, but particularly enjoys working with increasing sports and business performance, entrepreneurs, people who have a fear of public speaking, people who are terrified of flying and people who have low self esteem.

5 Regrets Of The Dying – Tap For Them Now So You Don’t Have Them Later

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photo by Takras

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”.

With any thought, none of these seem very surprising. They even sound a little clichéd, but clichés are clichés for a reason.

Here are the five most reported regrets at death according to Bronnie. I have added tapping scripts for each.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

There are so many expectations placed on me…what I need to do…and who I need to be…some of these come from my family…some of these come from my friends…some of these come from cultural norms…and some come from what I think the right and proper thing to do…even if I don't know where these ideas come from…but there is a better way…there is a life that I want to live…that is the right life for me…I am not saying it is the right life for everyone else…I just know it is the right life for me…There is a part of me that is worried that if I follow the path that is right for me that I am going to let others down…I am going to disappoint loved ones…they might even get mad at me…tell me that I am foolish…and even cut me out of their lives…but I know that I am not going to be truly happy until I follow my own path…I give myself permission to start to pursue my own path…to become who I want and need to be…I know there are reasons that others have a view of what my life should be…but I need to make the right choices for me…I give myself permission to move forward toward the life I know is right for me…even if I don't have a clear vision of exactly what that is…or exactly how to get it…I need to start moving towards the life that is right for me…I don't need to live for other people…I need to start living for me…I need to start moving towards the life I want to live…it doesn't matter that I haven't started yet…it is not too late.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

I take a lot of pride in how hard I work…I know working hard is important…and when I say work I don't just mean the job I do…I work hard in lots of areas of my life…there is value in working hard…there is value taking pride in the work I do…for generations people have put value in how hard we work…I know my parents talked about hard work…it can be embarrassing to look like I am taking the easy way out…it can be embarrassing to know that people around me are working harder that I am…it is like I am not carrying my weight…like I am not carrying the same amount as others…if I am not working hard…I must be a slacker…but there are a number of things that I work hard to do that it would be ok if I didn't do them…or if I didn't work as hard at them…when I work hard I do it so I can take care of my family…so I can provide for myself…to get ahead…and so that I can be recognized by others as doing a good job…but there are a number of things that I work hard at that no one notices…there are things that I work hard at that aren’t really important in the long term…it is not going to be the end of the world if I don’t stay late at work tonight…it is not going to be the end of the world if I don’t clean every part of the house before my guests get here…it is not going to be the end of the world if I take it a little easy…Most of the time when I work hard other people don’t notice…and when they think I am not working hard enough…they feel bad because they aren’t willing to work less hard…and they blame me by calling me a slacker…because they feel bad that they didn’t choose to work less hard…hard work is a value..hard work is important…but it is not the only value…and it is not the most important value…I give myself permission to not work so hard…there are many other things in life I need to enjoy.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Sometimes it can be hard to express my feelings…I am afraid that I am going to be judged…I am afraid that others are going to make fun of me…I am afraid that I am not going to be heard…I am afraid that I am going to be misunderstood…I am afraid that I am going to be ignored…I am afraid that I am going to share something and it is going to be used against me in the future…I know that when I express my feelings I am better understood…I know that when I express my feelings I let people know who I really am…I know that when I express my feelings it gives others permission to do the same…I know that when I express my feelings things don’t get built up in my head…I know that when I express my feelings my thoughts don’t bounce around the echo chamber that is my head and get distorted into much worse thoughts….this does not mean that I am going to tell everyone everything…this does not mean that I always wear my emotions on my sleeve…this only means that I know that there are people in my life it is safe to share my emotions with…I know there are people in my life who will hear what I have to say with an open heart…I know there are relationships that will grow and deepen if I take some time and share my emotions…I give myself permission to share what I am feeling more…I give myself permission to know it is healthy for me to share my emotions more.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

There are lots of people who used to be in my life who I am no longer in touch with…some have moved away…some I no longer work with…and others have just drifted away because of the business of life…I enjoy their company…some make me happy…some challenge me…some are funny…and some I have a great deal of history with…I know life is really busy…I know their lives are really busy…but I get so much out of the time I spend talking with them or being with them…Yes, it is hard to make time…but I know there are people who I need to reconnect with…I know it is hard to find an hour to call them…or a few hours to visit them…but I know it will be worthwhile to carve out time to reconnect…it will strengthen our connection…and it will be good for me…it will be good for them…There are people in my life who I haven't lost touch with…but I don't see them as much as I would like…I give myself permission to make it a priority to connect with them…I give myself permission put other things aside to spend time with the friends that I love…sure there are things that need to be done around the house…sure there are tasks that need to be done…but the world is not going to end if I don't do them…I need to spend time with the people I love…it will be good for me…it will be good for them…I am not going to feel too bad if I don't get the tasks around the house done…but I am going to regret losing touch with the people I love…I know it should be a priority…and I am going to make it a priority…it isn't the only thing I need to do…and I don't have to doing it all the time…but I need to do it more…it is a priority…I give myself permission to make it a priority.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

On some level I know that my emotions are my choice…I don’t control everything in the world…I don’t control everything that happens to me…but I can control how I react…Being happy is a choice…being happy is something that I can allow myself to do…but there are times where I choose to be serious…there are times where I choose to be in control…I worry that if I allow myself to be happy that I will become content and not try to move forward…I worry that if I allow myself to be happy I will lose focus and not get things done…It is possible to be happy and focused…it is possible to be happy and productive…it is possible to be happy and be safe…I give myself permission to be happy more…it costs me next to nothing to be happy…and it gives me so much…I choose to allow myself to be happier more.

Take one of these scripts right now and tap with it. It will make you feel lighter and help you to get more out of the moment you are living so you have less regret later.

Pod #83: The EFT Photo Technique w/ Marie Holliday

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The key to effective tapping/EFT is being able to tune into the issues that need work. There are many ways of doing this. The most common way is to say phrases out loud while tapping, but sometimes we don’t know what to say. The issue might be too deep, the memory might be too painful, or we just can't seem to come up with the right words to describe what is going on.

In this podcast I talk to Marie Holliday about a simple and elegant way to tap for issues called the photo technique. We talk about how easy it is to do, for which issues it works best, and how you can start using it right away with photos, icons, x-rays, or really any image to improve the tapping progress.

Please take the time to learn about this powerful technique, it is a great tool to add to your tapping/EFT toolbox.


Marie Holliday

Guest: Marie Holliday

Contact: web @ EFTSpain.com; Facebook at Facebook.com/eftspain

About Marie: Marie is an AAMET International EFT Practitioner and MasterTrainer of Trainers in English and Spanish. As a professional trainer she is continually pursuing the best in training. As a practitioner she continues to develop creative and innovative techniques such as her ‘Energy Exchange Photo Techniques’ and the ‘ CASTaway’ technique. Marie played an active part as a member of the AAMET International Executive Board and Co-Director of the AAMET International Training & Certification Board for many years.

In her practice, she now works more with animals and has developed energy techniques specifically for animals.
She is now holding her second Animal Energy World Conference where International Guest Speakers share energy work and techniques making them readily available for everyone to try with their pets, wildlife, abused and abandoned animals.

Tap Like Donald Trump: 5 Ways To Love Yourself

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There is no question that Donald Trump's public persona is one in which he thinks a great deal of about himself. I don't think it is a bad thing.

Sometimes I wonder if he is over-compensating for something else by talking such a big game about himself and his success. More than likely that is just my own insecurities being projected ontohis braggadociosness.

When it comes to seeking out teachers and role models for healing, growth, and self love Donald Trump probably isn't in the first six hundred thousand names that would come to mind. Regardless what you think of “The Donald” he reminds us of some great lessons that we can learn about loving ourselves. Here are few of my favorites.

Take a few moments to read through the following quotes and, more importantly (!), take a few moments to tap through the scripts. It will put you in a state of mind that will have your ready to move forward.

[Note: I did the best I could to verify that these are in fact Donald Trump quotes but it is possible that I have misquoted or misattributed some of them.]

“Anyone who thinks my story is anywhere near over is sadly mistaken.”

Every movie has that moment when the main character feels like they have missed their chance. If they would have only said that one thing or done that one thing it would be different.

Inevitably, by the end they have another chance.

We are no different. Our story isn't over. We can love ourselves knowing the story isn't perfect and isn't over.

My story isn't over…it hasn't worked out perfectly to this point…it feels like there are missed opportunities…it feels like these chances will never come again…but my story is not done…I am the author of my life…and I am going to create the ending I want…the fact that I have missed opportunities and made bad choices in the past…will only make it a better story when it all works out the way I want.

“As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”

It takes a certain self belief to think we are worthy of better and more. There are few things that I find easier to underestimate than my own worth and ability. The hardest part of change and moving forward is the act of change. We are leaving the familiar and routine.

If we are going to take the effort to change, we might as well make it worthwhile. If we are going to dream we are worthy (and worthy of more) we might as was well go for dreaming big.

I want my life to be better…but sometimes it feels like I am asking for too much…I am dreaming too big…I am worthy of big dreams…it takes the same effort to dream small as to dream big…I give myself permission to dream big…even if I don't get everything in my big dream…I will be closer to what I really want.

“The point is that you can't be too greedy.”

Greedy feels like an ugly word. When we use the word greedy we are usually describing someone who is taking more than they deserve and taking from those in need. This might be true if there was a limit to resources, but there is not. There is more than enough and most of the time when we are adding to our life we are not stealing from others.

It is easy to talk ourselves out of moving forward because we think “we have enough”, “we have more than others”, or “we need to appreciate more what we have.” It is okay to know you are worthy of more. You don't have to call it greedy, it is great that you want better in your life.

I am worried that if I get more in my life people are going to see me as greedy…It is going to look like I think I am better than others…it feels like I am depriving those in need…it feels like I am not appreciative of what I have…It is good that I want more and better in my life…it is good that I know I am worthy of more and better…it is not being greedy…it is becoming who I truly am.

“I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That's where the fun is.”

We are not our past. Our past choices have informed who we are. Our past choices have created the current situation of our life. Who we are is the choices we make right now. We can choose to be something we have never been before in a moment.

This isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it is possible. It requires us to love ourselves enough to know we can be different…and we can.

I am not my past…My past informs who I am…My past informs how others see me…My past has helped to create where I am right now…I have learned many things from my past…But I am not my past…I get to be whatever I want in this moment…I don't need to be a prisoner of my past…In this moment I give myself permission to make a new choice…To be someone new…To know that I can take all the lessons from my past…and become someone who I want to be…In this moment…With new choices.

“Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that's more productive.”

I hate failing, especially when I fail in a very public way. We tell our friends what we are going to do and then we bump into obstacles that are unexpected or we realize it isn't what we wanted after all.

When this happens it is really hard to walk away. We have already spent a lot of time working towards to the goal. It will feel like a waste if we walk away. It will feel like we are failure. But it doesn't have to be that way.

It is okay to believe we are better than what we have committed to in the past. If the goal no longer serves us it is okay to let it go. That is not a failure. It is a statement that we are worthy of better than these outdated goals.

It is hard when our plans don't work out…it is hard when we don't reach the goals we have named…but there are going to be things that no longer serve us…It is going to be best for us if we walk away from these past efforts…At the moment it might feel like we have wasted our time…And we need to stick with it because we have invested so much…But in reality we need to move on…To free ourselves up to move closer to the goals that now serve us better…It is okay okey to let old un-useful goals and projects go if they are no longer useful to me…this is for the best…We need to love ourselves enough to let it go…To work towards what is best for us.

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Now that you have tapped through these 5 scripts there is one more thing you can do to help get more comfortable in your own skin. Take a moment and tap trough these 10 randomly generated phrases. (If you would like more phrases just refresh this web page and will generate ten more.)

I hold love in my heart
Even though if I heal this issue I won't have an excuse for my life being messed up

Even though I have this issue and part of me doesn't want to heal this
I am willing to learn to love and accept myself

Even though I have this issue and I can't take it anymore
I am still a lovable person

I am still a wonderful person
Even though I don't want to forgive the people that ruined my life

Even though I don't want to forgive the people that ruined my life
I am willing to learn to love and accept myself

I am willing to learn to love and accept myself Even though I have this issue and I don't know what is causing it

Even though I have this issue and I don't believe I can love and accept myself
I choose to be free

Even though I have this issue and my mother always said it is going to be like this
I know I am more than this one aspect of my life

I am willing to try to love and accept myself
Even though I have this issue and it feels desperate

Even though I won't know how to act if I get well
I know I am more than this one aspect of my life

Pod #82: How Parents Can Tap For Their Children (And Themselves) w/ Carol Tuttle

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Often when parents come to tapping they are looking for something to fix or change their children. In reality, when we are surrogate tapping for others we are making a transformation in ourselves that in turn creates space for others to change.

In this interview Carol Tuttle and I talk about how parents can use tapping for their children, themselves, and to transform all the relationships within the family.


Carol Tuttle

Guest: Carol Tuttle

Contact: web @ CarolTuttle.com; twitter @CarolTuttle; blog @ TheCarolBlog.com; radio show @ Carol Tuttles Better Parenting Show; facebook @ TheCarolTuttle

About Carol: Carol Tuttle is a 20 year pioneer in the personal development field. She is the best-selling author of “Remembering Wholeness” and the creator of Energy Profiling and Dressing Your Truth. Her legions of fans acknowledge her for making a lasting difference in their lives through her books, CDs, DVDs, home study courses and online learning portals. If you are ready to “live your truth” Carol Tuttle will help you in that pursuit.

Carol is the mother of 5 children (4 of whom are married) and has been married to Jon Tuttle for over 30 years. They are the owners of their family based business and employee their 2 sons, daughter, daughter-in-law, and son-in-law. They love the harmony and abundance they create as a family and enjoy not only working together, but playing together.

What We Can Learn About Healing And Growth From The Actor Who Said “I Am Not Taking That Feedback” To Her Friends And Family

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Riki Lindhome is a delightful actor, comedian, and musician. She has a podcast called Making It in which she interviews actors, directors, stand-up comedians, and casting directors about how their careers have unfolded and what lessons they have learned along the way.

On more than one occasion on the podcast Riki has related a story from the beginning of her own career. Early on she realized that she was a long way from where she wanted to be and her dreams of being a full time actor seemed like a long shot. As she tells it, naturally her confidence wasn’t super high. Friends and family would offer what they thought, were helpful pieces of advice like “Oh that is going to be really hard”, “Make sure you get a good degree” and “Have you considered other careers?”

Riki would tell them, “I am not accepting those statements right now. If you don’t have something that is helpful or encouraging to say you are going to have to keep it to yourself.”

How awesome is that?!?

She had enough sense to see that the things her loved ones were going to say to her were only going to nurture the already planted seeds of doubt and make things even harder.

Our loved ones often say things to us that they believe are helpful, encouraging, or they think by warning us of possible danger they are keeping us safe. In reality they aren’t being helpful, and often make us feel worse than we already feel.

It is good that we have people in our lives who are worried for us and want the best for us. Just because they want the best for us doesn’t mean they know what is best for us or that they are being helpful. We can appreciate their concerns, without, in Riki’s words, “accepting those types of statement at this time.”

Here is a tapping script to help you get into a place where you can let loved ones know you appreciate their concern but that you need to make choices for yourself.

I know the people in my life want what is best for me…They want me to be safe…They want me to be happy…But they want in their terms…They see what is possible through their eyes…They see what is possible through their experience…They don’t know what is right for me…Because I have my own definition of that…This doesn’t mean I know exactly where I am going…This doesn’t mean that I am totally confident in the path I have chosen…But it is my path…That I have chosen for myself…I give myself permission to let the people in my life know that I appreciate that they want what is best for me…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that at this time their feedback isn’t helpful…I give myself permission to tell the people in my life that I am not accepting any comments from them at this time that are not encouraging…It might be hard to tell my loved ones this…But it is the best thing for me…If they truly want what is best for me…They are going to accept follow my request…I know that from time to time I am going to need to remind them that I am not accepting that type of feedback…But it is the best thing for me…I wouldn’t eat junk food before I run a race…And I am not taking anything that isn’t supportive or healthy for my dreams…I need to choose what I am taking in to make sure I reach my goal.

I would love to hear how loved ones in your life have tried to be helpful but ended up being undermining to you. How did you combat their comments to keep moving in the right direction?

Pod #81: Celebration, Law of Attraction, And A New Way To Understand It w/ Carol Look

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I think that giving thanks and celebrating big and small successes is a really important thing to do. It is also important to recognize the gifts that come with adversity when things don't work out as planned.

Last December I was lucky enough to be a guest on Carol Look’s radio program. We talk about what we mean by celebration, giving thanks, abundance, create v responsibility, and we do a lot of tapping on how we can become clear in order to make good choices in our lives to move us towards achieving the greatness we are worthy of.

Contact Carol: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT;

Side note: Personally, I am a little uncomfortable with a lot of the law of attraction language and conversation. Some it borders on the woo-woo, and some of it is downright ridiculous. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I do think I have a unique point of view, which we examine in this interview.

Pod #80: Using Sounds And Tones While Tapping w/ Andy Bryce

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For tapping to be successful we need to tune into the issue at hand. There are many tools and techniques to do this. In this interview I talk to Andy Bryce about how we can use making sounds as a way of tuning into issues and emotions. By using sounds we can find ways to describe emotions as well as tune into emotions without having to go point by point through the entire issue, which can at time be painful.

This is a very simple approach and an easy tool to add to your tapping tool box.


Andy Bryce

Guest: Andy Bryce

Contact: Web @ TappingThrough.com; Email @ andy@tappingthrough.com; Twitter @eftandybryce; Facebook @ EFTAndyBryce

About Andy: Andy Bryce has been working with personal growth, wellbeing and emotional resilience for over thirty years. For the last seventeen years, his primary toolkit has been Emotional Freedom Techniques. In 2006, Andy was certified as one of only 30 EFT Master Practitioners worldwide. Andy is also a certified mBraining Coach and P.E.T. practitioner.

Andy is a past Director of Training for AAMET, and has trained EFT practitioners in Belgium, France, Canada, USA, Mexico, Australia, Italy, Greece, South Africa and the UK as a Trainer of Trainers.

Pod #79: Reversals and Resistance w/ Lindsay Kenny

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Reversal, psychological reversal, polarity reversal, and secondary benefit are all terms which are thrown around a lot when working with tapping. They can be caused by our thoughts, what we put in our body, and the electronic devices that surround us.

It doesn't really matter what you call them, if they are present then tapping will not work very well (if at all). In this interview I talk with Lindsay Kenny about two major types of reversals and what you can do to correct them.


Lindsay Kenny

Guest: Lindsay Kenny

Contact: web @ ProEFT.com; twitter @ProEFT

Bio: Lindsay Kenny is an EFT Master, author, and Founder of Pro EFT™, and the Pro EFT™ Institute. She’i also a Life Coach, writer, and certified Trainer of Trainers. Coming from a background of poverty, abuse and deprivation, she has used Tapping and the Law of Attraction to create the life of her dreams. Lindsay’s mission in life has been helping others be their best.

She is happy to have had the tools of tapping to fulfill her mission for the past 16 year. While Lindsay will be retiring in 2016, she is turning over the wheel to several of her highly talented, board certified practitioners. This group of Pro EFT™ Masters and Trainers is being headed by Tess Pierson, a long-time student of Lindsay and Pro EFT™. Lindsay will still be maintaining her website ProEFT.com

Here 3 other resources to help understanding reversals:

Tap Like Dr. Phil: 5 Ways to Cut Through BS

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I heard Dr. Phil interviewed once and he was talking about how an interviewer was badgering him about the fact that all he does is repeat common sense. His response was, “Thank you very much!”

It is very easy to see Dr. Phil as a clown and a caricature of himself, but I think we dismiss him at our peril. I have always been very impressed with what he has to say and even more impressed with his ability to cut to the chase.

We can make things too complicated (or at least I do). Here are 5 things that Dr. Phil can teach us about tapping and caring for ourselves.

[Note: According to the internet these are all Dr. Phil quotes. I did my best to verify. I apologise if any are misattributed or misquoted.]

“It’s a choice. You just have to decide that I’m not going to put my energy there. I’m going to decide to let this go. It’s your choice. You can embrace it, you can become a prisoner of bitterness and resentment anger and victim city, or you can just say ‘I’m going to live my life and be happy’”

Our emotional state is a choice. I think this statement is often misunderstood. It is not as simple as ‘I want to be happy therefore I will think happy thoughts’. It is much more like being in a new location. If I want to be in my backyard I need to choose to go to the backyard and then decide to stay there. If we don’t like our emotional state we need to do something to make it different.

It is our responsibility to get ourselves to the new emotional state. Sometimes it takes more work to move forward than other times, but it is up to us. The first step is to choose to be emotionally different and start moving. Even if we don’t know how to do it we can start by tapping on:

I know that my emotional state is my choice. . .even if it doesn’t feel like it is in this moment. . .the emotions I am feeling right now are information about how I am experiencing the world. . .I want to do that in a different way. . .I am not sure what the first steps are. . .but recognizing that I have some control is going to make all the difference. . .

This is to get you moving towards the place you want to be, but you must make the choice first that you are going to be in control.

“You generate the results in your life that you believe you deserve.”

I often say to my clients, “It is impossible to receive a gift when you don’t feel you are worthy of it.” If there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are worthy of something that part is going to sabotage you and prevent it from happening. The first step to getting something new and better is to make sure you feel emotionally worthy of that new and better.

I love starting a tapping session with:

I am worthy of change. . .I am worthy of better. . .I am where I am. . .but that doesn’t mean I have to stay stuck here. . .Even if my choices are what brought me here. . .I am allowed to move on from this. . .I give myself permission to have great vision for my life. . .I am worthy of better. . .I give myself permission to believe in better.

If you are still having trouble with moving past this check out: Layers Of Resistance

“If you want more you have to require more of yourself.”

There are people in your life who want better for you. There are people who are willing to help. But there is only one person who is responsible for your change and transformation: YOU!

Your life is not going to get better just by hoping, wishing, dreaming and visualizing. You have to take action and you have to be taking more action than you are right now. This doesn’t mean you have to do it all in the next three hours. The new action can be as simple as doing 5 minutes of tapping before you go to bed to get a better night’s sleep which will lead to more energy and better choices tomorrow. Just tap like this:

I know I want better. . .I want more. . .I need to be the one who makes this happen. . .I don’t have to do it all by myself. . .I can get help from others. . .It is good that I get help from others. . .but the one person who is most invested in my progress and success is me. . .I deserve to have better and more. . .I need to require more of myself. . .even if it is something small each day. . .I can do it. . .with small steps.

You just need to do something. Expect more of yourself, hold yourself accountable, and do it. (I know you can do it!)

“You can't change what you don't acknowledge.”

A very common question from tapping beginners is “Why do I have to say the negative? I want to focus on the positive!” [for a full discussion on why we use negative phrases and why tapping is needed see Why Do I Have To Tap?]

We can’t change something that we haven’t named. Yes, it sucks to say, write, or mentally admit the things that are wrong in our life. Just the thought of those things can bring us down and sometimes we can slip into wallowing. To have better we have to name what is wrong. If that seems scary here is a way you can tap for it:

Right now I am struggling with a number of things. . .There is a part of me that doesn’t want to admit it is there. . .when I think about what isn’t working I have to admit things are not going right. . .I have to look at the part that is no fun. . .it can pull me down. . .and sometimes I get stuck in negative feelings. . .and it can be hard to crawl out. . .but I am not thinking of what is wrong to just wallow in it. . .I am not thinking of what is wrong to punish myself. . .I am doing it because I know I need to name the areas of my life that need improving before I can change them. . .This is the first step to getting something better. . .As I think of what isn’t working I am going to tap a bit. . .this will help me not slip into an emotional funk. . .I am thinking of what is wrong as a stepping stone to what I want. . .

“The most you get is what you ask for.”

This is true with others and this is true with ourselves. It can be hard to ask for things. We feel like we need do everything on our own, that if we were worthy of something we would make it happen, or if they wanted to help us they would do it without asking.

If you have a hard time asking for help or better it is great tap-able issue. Here is a tap along for just this: What Would I Choose For Today?

Take Action

Regardless of what you think about Dr. Phil his sense of needing to take action, take control, and take responsibility for your life is something we can all strive for. You don't have to do it all at once, but if you take the time to tap to a few of these scripts you will create space to take action.

Do you have a favorite Dr. Phil quote, favorite way of cutting through the BS, or feel one of these quotes motivating you? Let me know below in the comments.