Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #331: EFT For The Many Faces Of Grief

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It makes sense that we would feel grief and sadness after the death of a loved one.

But this is not the only time that we experience grief. The emotion of grief is our system telling us that we are missing or disconnected from something or someone that is important to us.

This could be the end of a relationship, a missed opportunity, or when we realize that we have wasted valuable time by not acting sooner. These experiences create genuine grief, but because our definition of grief may be too narrow, we can miss the opportunity to tap for it.

An emotion that goes unaddressed can simmer beneath the surface and cause us problems later on in life.

This week we are going to tap for the shades of grief we experience that aren't related to death and dying. As always, below the audio player is a script that you can print out and use anywhere.

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I don't like feeling grief…I don't like feeling sadness…Because those emotions are about being in contact with…And focusing on…And dwelling on something I am missing…I'm paying attention to something lost…I don't like being reminded of loss…I hate seeing opportunities that I was hoping for have passed me by…I'm hurt by the time I have lost because I didn't take action sooner…The sadness that I am feeling is simply pointing out that loss…It is simply pointing out what has been missed…And because of the nature of sadness…It is often lurking in the background…And because it is not the primary emotion that I feel…I miss it…In this moment I give the sadness permission to have full voice…In this moment I give the sadness permission to be heard…It is good to acknowledge what is lost…It is good to acknowledge what I'm no longer connected to…It is good to acknowledge the things that have been missed…But I don't have to stay stuck in what is missing…I don't have to stay stuck in that longing…I don't have to stay stuck in the sadness…I give myself permission to hear the sadness and let it go…I give myself permission to experience the grief and release it…Even though things have been lost…Even though opportunities have been missed…Even though time has been wasted…I can move forward in a healthy way…I can remember what is lost without being stuck in this sadness…I can say that what is lost is still important and let go of the grief…I don't have to stay in the grief in order to learn from the past…I don't have to stay in the grief to say what is lost is important…The sadness has done its job…I can be in this moment and be fully present…Knowing what is important to me…And not be stuck in the sadness.

Pod #330: If everything is getting better, why do I feel worse?

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Recently I was talking with one of my clients. She has been doing an amazing amount of transformational work in her life. Personally, professionally, and emotionally everything was better, but she was struggling.

The basic thrust of our conversation was “I know everything in my life is getting better, so why do I feel worse?”

On the surface this might seem like an odd situation, but it happens a lot more than you would think.

Much of it comes down to the fact that there are different types of problems and not all of those problems are created equally. We always start with the most pressing problem first. For example, if you think terms of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we will worry about food and shelter before we worry about living a life of purpose or a fulfilling career.

The same is true when we are dealing with our emotional life. We start with the most pressing needs, such as feeling safe in the world, and then we move on to higher level needs, such as issues of self-esteem and self-worth.

As we move up the levels of needs, the more abstract the problems become. There are practical steps towards the basic need of trying to make myself feel safe, whereas the path to loving and accepting myself is less clear.

Because this is the case, as we move up (as in my client's case where her life is getting better), the issues become more abstract and we have less control, so it can feel like things are getting worse.

This week I have for you a deeper dive into these concepts, which will make it easier for you to recognize when you are experiencing this in your own life. I have also included a tap-along to help you to move through the feeling that your life is getting worse, when in truth it is improving.

As always, I have included a printable tapping script below the audio player.

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I recognize the fact that I am in process…I recognize the fact that this is an evolution…As I do my work…I am getting better…I'm getting healthier..But because of the nature of healing…It is very easy for me to miss the progress that I am making…When I heal I stop noticing the issue that I just healed…My focus goes to what is unhealed…I don't get the opportunity celebrate what I have just healed…Because my system has already moved on to the next issue requiring my focus and transformation…And because of this…I can actually feel worse…Because the types of emotions I am tuning into are different…These emotions cut more sharply…They are now emotions that cut deeper…They are no longer practical problems with obvious solutions…They are deep, emotional problems…And these types of problems weigh on me in a different way…I give myself permission to know that it is OK to feel like my issues are getting worse right now…But at the same time…I actually know that it is not getting worse…I am getting better… Even though my emotions are focusing on what is still wrong…I give myself permission to trust myself…I give myself permission to trust the process…To know that even though it feels bad in this moment…My life really is improving…I am moving forward…And mistakenly believing that it is actually getting worse…Is a perfectly natural part of the process…I recognize that it is OK to feel this way…As I keep moving forward…As I keep healing…As I keep transforming my life.

Pod #329: EFT For Jealousy Of Other People’s Success

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Jealousy is such corrosive emotion.

It makes us think ill of others. It makes us feel bad for ourselves. I don't know about you, but it leads me to make poor and rash decisions.

The worst part of jealousy is feeling the emotion about someone else, but having to deal with its negative consequences.

Recently, I was at a professional training event and was so overcome with jealousy of the person presenting on stage that I could barely think straight.

I was able to do some tapping in the moment to clear my head, but I realized that it was a big enough issue that I needed to deal with it in a deeper way. Over the next few weeks I spent some time every single day tapping for jealousy and all the other feelings around it.

This week's tap-along audio is one of those tapping sessions, with the tapping script also available in a text version.

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I recognize the fact that I am capable of jealousy…That sometimes I am consumed by the emotion of jealousy…When I see someone with what I want…There's a part of me that thinks it is not fair…They get to have what they want…And I don't…They are getting something that I feel I deserve…But do not have…The feeling of jealousy comes from a place of wanting more for myself…It comes from wanting better for myself…My jealousy has very little to do with the person I am jealous of…It has to do with how I see myself…About how I understand my own experience…About how I believe people notice or don't notice me…I give myself permission to know…That even though jealousy is an emotion I don't want to feel…It is just a part of me fighting for better in my own life…But it is showing up in a way that isn't useful…It is showing up in a way that isn't helpful…And it feels so uncomfortable…Because on top of the jealousy…I also feel embarrassed about feeling jealous…I see jealousy is a sign of weakness…I see jealousy is a sign of pettiness…I see jealousy as me not seeing who I truly am…And not seeing what I am truly worth…But as much as I hate feeling jealous…I choose to know that I don't have to be embarrassed about feeling that way…The jealousy is just information about me…It is information about my experience…It is lets me know that I still need to work on my own self-esteem…It is information about my understanding of my own self-worth…And as much as I hate feeling jealous…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I thank my experience for pointing out the areas where I need to grow…I can release my embarrassment because I appreciate the information that is coming from the jealousy…I can release my jealousy because I now know what I need to work on…And as much as I hate feeling jealous…I can appreciate that a part of me wants better for myself…That a part of me wants fairness and justice for myself.

Pod #328: How And Why Your Past Experience Impairs Your Ability To Heal

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One of the reasons that the human species survives is because of our innate ability to learn. Every time we experience something new, we have the opportunity to learn how the world works and how our fellow humans react to a certain set of circumstances.

With each new experience, we are able to make subconscious comparisons with prior experiences. New information means we are able to update our understanding of ourselves and of the world we inhabit.

There are two problems with the way that we learn. First, we sometimes learn the wrong lesson. Because we may not fully understand a situation, we draw inaccurate conclusions. Second, at times we are presented with new information that conflicts with our old lessons and beliefs, so we choose (consciously or unconsciously) to ignore the new information.

This conflict means that sometimes not only do we not accept new information about ourselves and the world, but it actually gets in the way of our transformation.

In this week's podcast I share with you:

  • How we build our understanding of who we are and how the world works
  • The pitfalls that this creates in the moment as we take action
  • How this slows or halts our ability to heal
  • How you can tap with this knowledge so you are no longer hindering your progress

Below the audio player I have included a tapping script for the tapping that we do at the end of the audio. I encourage you to listen to the full audio before tapping to the script because an understanding of the context for the tapping will make the tapping itself more powerful.

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I have picked up a belief about myself or the world that is not useful…It actually makes my life harder day to day…And as I acknowledge this is no longer useful…I'm not blaming myself for picking up this tool…I am not blaming myself for picking up this belief…When I picked up this belief…I thought it was something that I thought would truly serve me…I'm also not blaming the people who gave me this belief…They were doing the best that they could when they were teaching me…I also do not blame them because they might not have realized they were teaching me in that moment…They were doing the best they could and I was learning lessons from that…I give myself permission to let go of this belief…Because it is a tool that is no longer useful to me…I now recognize a more useful way to navigate the world…I now recognize more useful way to respond to my problems…At some point in the future…If need this belief again…I'm allowed to pick it up again…But if I choose to pick it back up…I will do so consciously because it is useful…It's also possible that I will never pick up this belief again…I acknowledge that the beliefs about myself…And about the world…Are picked up with all good intention…But they are no longer useful now…When I picked them up in the past…I was doing the best that I could…Letting go of them now is the best that I can do right now…It is okay for me to let go of these experiences…It is safe for me to let go of these beliefs…What is most important is not my past…But instead what I choose to believe right now…I give myself permission to believe what is useful right now.

Pod #327: EFT for Believing In Yourself

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It can be difficult to remain focused on doing the work to improve your life. Sometimes you are pushing forward without seeing any progress. Sometimes the goal seem so far away that it is impossible. AND sometimes we just feel alone on the journey.

When we are trying to improve our lives it's common to feel that the people around us are unwilling to do the same, and may even be resistant to the  fact that we are changing and growing our own. This can make the work of transformation to feel lonely.

This week I have words of encouragement to keep you going, even when you feel alone. Because the truth is you are not alone. It might feel like it, but there are many thousands of people who are on healing journeys, just like you.

This week we tap to know that we aren't alone AND that the work we are doing in our own lives makes it easier for others, and the work others are doing is clearing a path for us.

(Below the audio player you will also find a text version of the tapping script.)

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Sometimes I feel like I'm alone…The people around me don't understand the work that I'm doing…They do not understand the healing tools that I'm using…To transform and heal myself…Some of them are not interested in change at all…When I am surrounded by people who do not care…It's easy to lose my motivation…Because I feel like I'm alone…I feel like no one understands me…I feel like I'm the only one who cares…But even if I'm in a situation where the people closest to me don't care…I know that I am not alone…There are people all over the world working to heal and transform themselves…There are people all over the world trying to make the world a better place for themselves and for others…Thousands of others are tapping along to these exact same words…Thousands of people are looking for a similar type of transformation…Even if I don't know them personally…We are on this journey together…The effort that they are putting in to make the world a better place is also impacting my world…My tapping and energy is impacting their lives as well…Even when I feel alone…I know that I'm not alone on this journey…I give myself permission to keep putting forth the effort…And I choose to keep trying…Knowing that there are others who want me to be successful…Even if I don't know them personally…Each small amount of effort that I put in contributes to the greater good…I trust that my efforts are useful…And I know that I'm not alone in this work of transformation and healing.

Pod #326: EFT For When Others Judge Our Success (Productivity Series: 7 of 7)

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This is Part 7 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we have been tapping for a specific emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

Being successful is hard enough. It becomes even harder when we are worried about others judging our success.

Others may judge our dreams as being foolish. They may be jealous when they see us chasing our dreams and being successful. They may even feel that we are judging them because they aren't experiencing the same success as we are enjoying.

Worrying about these types of judgments makes us less likely to take action because being judged isn't any fun.

In this week's tap-along (with a printable tapping script below audio player) we tap for taking action in spite of what others might think of our success.

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Other people notice the action I am taking…Other people notice the success that I'm having…Because they notice what I am doing…They are judging and evaluating my progress…They are judging and evaluating my success…I don't like being judged…There's a part of me that just wants to belong and be like everyone else…There's a part of me that's uncomfortable and afraid of their judgment…And of the rational and irrational consequences of that judgment…Sometimes people judge me because they think my dreams and goals are foolish…Sometimes people judge me because they're jealous of my success…Sometimes people judge me simply because I'm willing to follow my dreams…And sometimes people judge me because they think I am judging them…They are worried that my success makes me feel like I am better than they are…But none of these judgments is about me…They are not about my success…Even though that is how it feels…In reality these judgments are about the people who are judging me…They don't feel good about where they are…They don't appreciate the progress they are making in their own lives…Because I'm doing something they are not…They feel like my progress is about them…Because it might be pointing out the things they have not yet achieved yet…When I experience and feel this judgment…It makes me reluctant to take action…Because I don't want to be judged in this way…I give myself permission to be comfortable with my success…Knowing that it doesn't matter what others may think and feel about my success…Because my success is not me…My success is about my action…My success is about how I move forward…They're allowed to think whatever they want…And if they want to waste time thinking about me…They're allowed to do exactly that…But I choose to focus on my action…I choose to focus on how I'm going to move towards my goals…I'm going to let go of my concerns…Because this is about me…And my progress…And I need to put myself first.

Pod #325: EFT For Recognizing Your Success (Productivity Series: 6 of 7)

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This is Part 6 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

One of the difficulties with being successful is that success is not an all-or-nothing proposition. Success usually comes in stages as part of a process. When we are doing the work and taking action we are often too close to what is going on to see the progress we are making.

This can be discouraging and slow down our progress because it doesn't feel like the effort we are putting in is paying off.

This week's tap-along audio (and printable script below the player) will help you to recognize the progress you are making and to regain your momentum.

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I recognize that my progress is incremental…I recognize my progress is not happening all at once…And because that is the case…It's really easy for me to miss my own progress…It's really easy for me to not recognize how I am moving forward…When I do not recognize my own progress…It's so easy for me to feel discouraged…It's easy for me to lose momentum…Because it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward…Since it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward…I don't want to waste my time or energy on something unsuccessful…I give myself permission to recognize the new normal…As being something that is different than the old normal…I give myself permission to recognize that progress is happening…Even if it is only happening in small ways…It is happening…I am moving forward…And I am making progress…I can see that progress when I take a step back…And reminding myself of my progress will help me to keep moving forward…It will help me maintain my momentum…It's a process…Sometimes I wish it wasn't always a process…But I recognize that is how success happens…I give myself permission to trust the process…And to trust that my action are having an effect…I am open to the process…I'm open to being more aware of the progress I am making…I give myself permission to keep taking action…Even when it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward…Because I am moving forward towards success.

Pod #324: EFT For Doing The Right Task First (Productivity Series: 5 of 7)

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This is Part 5 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

There is a part of us that wants to everything in exactly the right order, and that's because there are times in which the order we do tasks really matters, such as when baking a cake.

But for most tasks or projects, there isn't an exact right order. There may be an overarching plan that needs to be followed, but it doesn't have to be done in exact steps.

This concern about the right order of tasks can be a stumbling block to taking action because on some level we are worried about wasting energy and having to redo actions because we did them in the wrong order.

This tap-along audio (with printable tapping script) will help you to trust the order in which you think you need to act, as well as helping you to get comfortable with the idea that taking actions one at a time will add up to success and that success isn't dependent on any one thing.

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There is a part of me that is worried I'm going to do this in the wrong order…If I do this in the wrong order I'll have to do it again…Because I'm worried about doing things in the wrong order…I'm not taking action at all…This is a way for me to say safe…This is a way for me to be healthy…Because I'm not wasting time and energy…And I also know that if I don't take any action at all…I am certain to fail…Action is required for my success…I give myself permission to trust that I will do the tasks in approximately the right order…It doesn't have to be perfect…It doesn't have to be exactly right…It just needs to be close to right…Because most of the tasks do not have an exact right order…Most of the tasks do not require me to be perfect…I trust that I'm going to do this in a way that is useful…I also recognize the fact that the tasks that I need to do are important…But my success does not rely on any one task…Success comes when all these tasks add up…Doing a little work at a time…Adding up to something big…And because success will come from is the sum total of these tasks…Doing them is enough…Trusting that I am close enough to doing them in the right order will move me towards success…I know these efforts will add up…I know these steps will add up…Putting me in a position to be successful…I trust the order I am going to do these tasks…I trust the effort will add up into something good…I know that as I continue to take action my way will become clearer and clear…Taking action now is more important than trying to figure out the perfect action…I choose to trust myself.

Pod #323: EFT For Following Your Vision (Productivity Series: 4 of 7)

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This is Part 4 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

There are times when we have a clear vision of what we wish to do, but we are held back by our emotions. This part of us may be worried that our vision isn't right for us, that others don't believe in our vision, or we are mistrustful of our own inner guidance.

This tap-along audio (with a printable tapping script below) will help you to trust in your inner guidance, trust your vision, and help you to take action even when those around you just don't get it.

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I give myself permission to trust myself…I give myself permission to trust my vision…There's a part of me that's so excited about my vision and moving forward…And there is a part of me that is also scared to death…It's worried that putting my hope in something like this might only lead to heartbreak…Might only lead to disappointment…I give myself permission to trust my vision…Even though that vision might not be perfect…I give myself permission to know I am heading in the right direction…And by trusting this vision…I will move forward…I will be successful…I am can remain safe…I can trust my vision…Even though I know everything will not going to be perfect…I can trust my vision even though I'm worried everything won't go exactly as planned…I know that others in my life don't share my vision…Some even doubt my vision…And that can make it hard for me to take action and to trust myself…When I am going against the opinions of others…I can question myself…There have been times in my life where my vision did not match up with that of others…And that was OK…I was still successful…And it was the right path for me…I ended up where I needed to be…It would be great if others shared my vision…But that is not necessary for me to be successful…They don't have to endorse my vision for me to be safe…I give myself permission to trust my inner guidance…Even when it conflicts with other people's opinions…Even when it conflicts with the ideas of those around me…This isn't their life…This is my life…And I allow myself to trust my inner guidance…Even in the face of others doubting me.

11 years ago this week (special deal)

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Eleven years ago this week Tapping Q & A was born! (I wrote the first article July 29th, 2007 and shared it with the world August 1st.)

It is hard to believe that something that started as a hobby in my free time has turned into a website that has had millions of page views and a podcast that's been downloaded over a million times by people in over 160 countries!

It means sooooooo much to me that you take the time to read, listen, comment, give feedback, and share the Tapping Q & A resources with your loved ones.

As a thank you, I am offering these two special special deals:

1) One-on-one sessions with me: Normally I charge $225 per 1-hour session, but this week you can get then for $110. (Maximum of 5 sessions per person, must be used by December 31st, 2018.)

Get time with me: Sessions w/ Gene

2) 10 Questions System: This is my favorite tool for figuring out the steps and the emotional blocks that are standing in the way of you taking action. Normally it costs $197. This week you can save $110 and only pay $87.

Get out of your own way: 10 Question System

Thanks again for your part in the amazing experience this has been for me. I had no idea how this would turn out when I started and it's so far beyond my wildest dreams that I can't even process it!

As always, please let me know how I can be helpful to you in your tapping journey.

Blessings,

Gene

PS: If you would like full details on the 10 Question System, you can read about it here: https://tappingqanda.com/the-10-questions-that-changed-my-life/

Pod #322: EFT When Having To Learn Something New (Productivity Series: 3 of 7)

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This is Part 3 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate  self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

When we are faced with doing something that we don't know how to do or that we don't have a great of experience with it is common that we won't take the action we what.

This is because there is a part of us that want to protect us from failure AND when we don't know how to do something failure is much more likely.

This tap-along audio (and script below) will help you to take action when you are feeling dumb, struggling because you don't know where to start, and that others will judge you because you don't know what action to take.

Tapping to this will make it easier for you to trust yourself when you don't feel comfortable or competent with the tasks in front of you.

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I recognize I need to do something to do…To take action towards something that is new for me…When I'm having to do something that is new for me…It is easy for me to feel incompetent…Because I am when it comes to this particular task…I don't like feeling incompetent…I don't like feeling dumb…Every single thing that I am able to do…I had to learn how to do it first…Even the things that I do the best…At one point I couldn't do them all…I give myself permission to know it is okay to feel incompetent…It is okay that I don't know how to do this…I know I will learn how to do it…It can also be difficult to start with something new…Because I don't know where to start…If I knew how to do this I would know where to start…Figuring out where to start as part of the learning process…I give myself permission to just begin…As I take action I will learn…as I take action I will understand more…This means it will be easier for me to move forward…In thoughtful and deliberate way…As I learn how to do this I will learn what the next step is…As I learn something new I am afraid that other people are going to recognize the fact that I don't know what I'm doing…They are going to judge me as being stupid…They're going to judge me…I trust myself to know it is okay for me not to know…The judgment from others is not important when it comes to me having success…I give myself permission to be okay that others might see me being unsuccessful…As I learned how to do this…Eventually they will see me as successful…Because I will have learned what to do…I trust that in this process my belief in myself is more important than others judgment…This will allow me to take action…I will end up knowing how to do this well.

Pod #321: EFT For Staying Focused (Productivity Series: 2 of 7)

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This is Part 2 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

Allowing distractions, such as email or social media notifications, is one of the easiest ways to be unproductive. Distractions also come in the form of unruly thoughts rattling around in our heads. This tap-along audio (with a full printable script below the audio player) will help to calm your mind before you begin working, helping you to stay focused.

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I recognize the fact that I have a lot going on…I recognize that my mind is trying to keep track of so many things…And because my mind is trying to keep track of all of these things…It bounces from place to place…Making it difficult for me to stay focused…And difficult for me to get everything done…I appreciate that these distractions are just a part of my system trying to keep me safe…It doesn't want me to miss anything…It bounces from idea to idea because it thinks all of the stimulus is important…I know all of these distractions aren't actually important… I don’t need to pay attention to them right now…But my subconscious mind doesn't always realize that…It doesn't always know what is important…It bounces from place to place because it thinks everything is important…But I recognize the fact that it is possible for me to stay focused…And to ignore all of these other distractions…And still be safe…It doesn’t mean I will miss something important… When I focus on what is in front of me…I'm not ignoring everything else…I'm simply setting it aside for the moment…I'm simply avoiding it for now…Once the task in front of me is done…I can return to paying attention to all of the other tasks…I can pay attention to any other idea that my subconscious mind throws up…Because I know these thoughts will not be lost…I will be reminded of anything I need to do in the future…So I give myself permission to focus on what is in front of me right now…Calmly letting go of everything else…Except what I am working right now…And if I am distracted again…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…Simply to let the distracting thoughts pass…Returning to the task in front of me…Without beating myself up for the distraction…As I keep letting these distractions go…It will become easier and easier for me…I will become more focused on my work…I will be kinder to myself regarding these future distractions…I know it is possible for me to be more focused…I give myself permission to find that focus gently.

Pod #320: EFT When We Have An Unclear Vision (Productivity Series: 1 of 7)

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This is Part 1 of the 7-part Productivity Series. Each week we are going to tap for an emotional block to taking action. Check out the full series.

Even when we know the right action to take, it can be difficult to do because we are so good at sabotaging ourselves. The Take Action Now program was created to eliminate your self-sabotaging behavior so you can take decisive action towards achieving your goals. Full details here.

It’s difficult to take action when we don't have a clear vision for exactly what we want. A lack clarity about our goals means we have to deal with both the practical and emotional blocks to taking action.

On a practical level it is difficult to take action because we aren't exactly sure what the best action looks like. A clear vision creates a tangible goal, which leads to concrete steps to take and the order in which to take them. Without that we may struggle to know what the best, most constructive actions are.

On a subconscious level we prevent ourselves from taking action as a way of saving energy and effort. When we don't have a clear vision, our subconscious mind worries that we might choose to take action that isn't useful. It sees that we don't know exactly what we want and knows that any action we take is just a guess as to if it is a useful action. The subconscious therefore prevents us from taking any action as way of ensuring we don't take the wrong action.

In this week's tap-along audio (and tapping script found below) we tap for being able to take action when we don't know exactly what we are moving towards.

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I recognize the fact that it is difficult for me to take action when I don't have a clear vision of where I'm going…When my vision is unclear my subconscious tries to keep me safe…By preventing me from taking action…Because my subconscious doesn't want me to waste time…My subconscious doesn't want me to waste energy…My subconscious is worried that if my vision is not clear…Then the actions I take might be in the wrong direction…That the actions I take might be moving away from my ultimate goal…And because it doesn't want me heading in the wrong direction…It prevents me from taking any action at all…I appreciate the fact that it's trying to save me energy…I appreciate the fact it's trying to save me time…By not wasting my effort on something that isn’t useful…When I take action it is an opportunity for me to learn…It is an opportunity for me to get feedback…To see if I'm heading in the right direction…Even if the action I am taking isn't leading in the right direction…Taking the action can be useful…Because I'm going to learn…I am going to get feedback…And it's going to give me clarity about what my goal actually is…In moments when I lack clarity…I give myself permission to take the action that seems most logical…Even if it isn't moving me in the exact right direction…It will help me to learn what the right direction is.

Pod #319: EFT for Betrayal w/ Dr. Debi Silber

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Betrayal is unlike other emotions because it creates problems beyond the immediate pain we feel when we realize we have been betrayed. Betrayal also sows seeds of doubt at a subconscious level, which can create lasting physical and emotional problems.

This week I have a conversation with Dr. Debi Silber who has dedicated her research and work to understanding how betrayal impacts us physically and emotionally. More importantly, she has also developed a process (Post Betrayal Transformation) to help heal those wounds.

In this conversation we discuss the conditions required for betrayal to happen, how it impacts us, and the first steps towards healing.

During the interview Debi refers to a short quiz that you can take to see if you are being impacted by a past betrayal. You can take the quiz here.

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Dr. Debi Silber

Guest: Dr. Debi Silber

Contact: web @ PBTInstitute.com

About: Dr. Debi Silber, founder of PBT Institute is a Transformational Psychologist, and a health, mindset, empowerment and personal development expert. She is also a speaker, a coach and the author of the Amazon #1 Bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis.

Debi has contributed to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz show, TEDx, The Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Health, Working Mother, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, Yahoo Shine, Ladies Home Journal, MSN, Woman's World and Glamour.

Her doctoral study led to two discoveries around how women experience and heal from betrayal. Based on her findings, along with 27 years of health, mindset and lifestyle coaching, she has created a multi-faceted approach to help women heal (physically, mentally and emotionally) from the trauma of betrayal.

Do you have an Android smartphone?

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Good morning,

In case you haven’t already heard the good news, Google has just made it a whole lot easier to listen to podcasts on your Android phone!

Up until last week you had to install an extra app to access podcasts, which wasn't the most convenient.

Now it is a super simple two-step process:

  1. Click the correct link.
  2. Click subscribe.

If you happen to be on your Android smartphone you can subscribe to the podcast right here. Just click subscribe and you are set!

If you aren't reading this on your phone right now, the next time you are all you need to do is go to this link: https://tappingqanda.com/abdriod-subscribe

OR download the app!
Did you know that there is a free Tapping Q and A app for both Apple and Android devices? Not only does it provide access to the entire podcast archive, it also includes loads of tapping scripts.

Access the free app here: Android | Apple

Please let me know if you have any technical issues with this,

Gene

Pod #318: What is the best way to use EFT for this issue?

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I often hear from frustrated clients because they have tapped for an issue, but they haven't made any progress. When this happens they question whether tapping can help.

The reality is that in many of these cases the issue isn’t whether tapping will work, but instead what is the best way to tap for an issue.

This week I have for you a simple four-step process to ensure you are tapping in the most effective way to get to the root cause of an issue.

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Pod #317: EFT For Feeling Like An Outsider

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For me, one of the hardest feelings is that of feeling like an outsider. When you are in a room full of people, feeling like you don’t belong and your head spins with imagining what everyone is thinking about you – and NONE of it is good!

Last weekend I found myself feeling exact this way – even though I know that, in reality, most people are far too caught up in their own lives to spend much time worrying about or judging me. Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script for when you find yourself in the same situation.

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I feel like an outsider…I feel like nobody gets me…Even if there were the time and space to explain myself…They still wouldn't understand…Or they wouldn't accept me…Or they would say I don’t belong…It is painful being in a situation where I am surrounded by people…And yet I feel completely alone…When I sense a connection in the room that I'm not a part of…It feels like there is no entry point…Where I feel like my presence is a burden to others…The only thing to do is to try to escape…I recognize the fact my emotions are working way too hard…I recognize the fact that I do have common ground…There are connections that I can make…I don't always have to feel like I'm on the outside…Even if they don't fully understand me…I do have something to offer…There are ways that we can connect…Even if I am not totally at home I can find connection…I can find community…I can be accepted for who I am…Without having to prove myself…I am valuable…I have something to offer…I can connect in a true human way…I am not as alone as I feel…I do not have to fear…I can be completely who I am…Even though it feels scary to be vulnerable…Even though it feels overwhelming to be who I am…Even when it feels like I have nothing to offer…Or that they will never understand…I give myself permission to trust myself…I give myself permission to trust others…I give myself permission to believe in human connection…Knowing that I can create space where I feel at home…My fear of judgment is trying to keep me safe…My fear of judgment is working way too hard…This does not mean I become careless…This does not mean I become reckless…This does not mean I become completely unguarded…Trusting myself and trusting others does not mean I'm letting all of my barriers down…I can be more open and connect more while still keeping myself safe…While still keeping myself healthy…I give myself permission to trust myself…I give myself permission to trust others…I give myself permission to know that I am acceptable…I give myself permission to know that I am lovable…I am lovable in big and small ways.

Pod #316: Wanting Better For Others

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It can tough to see our loved ones making choices that aren't serving them well. Because we have distance from their situation, we are able to see the bigger picture in that way that they cannot.

What can be even more difficult is that often they are so deeply entangled in the issue that they aren't able to hear our our advice.

This week I have for you a simple process that you can tap to when you are wanting better for someone in your life. While remaining responsible for their own actions, this process can help to create the space needed for them to gain a fresh perspective, which opens up the possibility of change.

Not only do I have the simple step-by-step process explained in the audio, but I have also included a link where you can download it and 13 other tapping tools free of charge.

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Pod #315: It Only Takes A Minute

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Sometimes I put off tapping because I don't feel I have enough time for an in-depth tapping session. But often you don't need much time to make a huge difference to how you are feeling.

Recently I had a small physical issue that was more of an inconvenience than the cause of any great pain. I never thought to tap for it because it was so small.

Eventually I got around to tapping for it, which was really effective and I couldn’t believe I’d waited so long! Here’s the simple three-step process I used. Give it a try!

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Pod #314: Releasing Limiting Beliefs

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Many of our beliefs are held at a subconscious level and some of them do not serve us well. They may be inaccurate in the way we describe ourselves, our relationships, and the world and this inaccuracy causes us problems in daily life because subconsciously we believe them to be true.

Once we identify these beliefs we can then use tapping to transform them into a clearer reflection of the way the world works.

Beliefs that have been passed on to us by our loved ones are particularly hard to change. This is because part of us fears that if we let go of the belief, we will also be letting go of the person who gave it to us.

Logically we know this isn't the case, but because this perception exists at a subconscious level it can slow or even halt our progress.

This week I have a simple process you can use to transform the beliefs that have been passed on by others, with a tap-along section at the end.

In the audio I also share with you how you can get a free written version of this tool, the tapping script, and 13 other great tapping tools.

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Here is the tapping script that you are going to use as part four of this process. In the audio above, not only do I share the first 3 steps.

I know that I am approaching this just like the people in my life…and I know that approach is not serving me…but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to let this belief go…there is a part of me that believes that if I let this belief go then I am letting them go…that I am saying that they are wrong…I am saying that I don’t love them…I am saying that I am not grateful for what they have done for me…but I know this is not true…I can let go beliefs that they had without letting go of them…I can know that I love them and that they love me and not hold everything they said or did as true…They were imperfect…and it is OK to say that they were and are imperfect…and there are many beliefs that served them in a time and place that don’t serve me…they want what is best for me…and they might think that one way is right…but even when they want things for me that aren’t perfect for me…they do this because they want what is best for me…I can do what is best for me and love my parents…I can do what is best for me and appreciate everything they have done for me…I can do what is best for me and keep the relationship strong…letting go of something they have given me is not the same as letting them go.