Today we are going to tap for selflessness.
Thanks for taking part in the 30-Day Tapping Challenge!
Don’t forget to sign-up to receive daily reminders so that you don’t miss a day of tapping.
If you liked today’s video, please share it with a friend.
Today we are going to tap for selflessness.
Thanks for taking part in the 30-Day Tapping Challenge!
Don’t forget to sign-up to receive daily reminders so that you don’t miss a day of tapping.
If you liked today’s video, please share it with a friend.
Today we are going to tap for selflessness.
Thanks for taking part in the 30-Day Tapping Challenge!
Don’t forget to sign-up to receive daily reminders so that you don’t miss a day of tapping.
If you liked today’s video, please share it with a friend.
Today we are going to tap for selflessness.
Thanks for taking part in the 30-Day Tapping Challenge!
Don’t forget to sign-up to receive daily reminders so that you don’t miss a day of tapping.
If you liked today’s video, please share it with a friend.
Jondi loves energy work, from her beloved EFT to a host of Tapping adaptations that reflect years of practical hands-on training, mentoring and client work. She calls herself ‘The People’s Teacher’ in honor of her commitment to making energy work accessible to all.
Jondi’s body of work includes training for groups and individuals
seeking to use energy tools for healing, recovery from trauma, and personal transformation. She has a particular place in her professional life for humanitarian outreach and work with veterans, indigenous peoples, and teachers.
She is a longtime member of EFT International™, and a member of its Training and Accreditation Board, as well as ACEP’s Humanitarian Committee, an original member of the EFT Guild, and the founder of the annual Spring Energy Event gathering.
Website: JondiWhitis.com
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
In more than 120 clinical trials, energy psychology, which is the umbrella term for the Emotional Freedom Techniques, Thought Field Therapy, “tapping, “and related approaches, has been shown to deliver significant improvements across a wide range of psychological and physiological conditions with striking speed and durability.
But despite impressive results in clients with issues ranging from PTSD and depression to cardiovascular and immune disorders, many therapists and clinicians dismiss the approach because of the vague and often controversial use of the term energy in energy psychology. Read more>>>
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
The number of natural disasters, from hurricanes and tornadoes to floods and forest fires, has nearly doubled in the past decade compared to the previous decade due largely, according to the United Nations, to “extreme weather events.” Meanwhile, human-made disasters–such as mass shootings, warfare, violent conflicts impacting civilian populations, and industrial accidents–have also increased exponentially.
Whether natural or otherwise, disasters can severely impact mental health. Between 30 and 60 percent of individuals who survive a disaster suffer with the symptoms of PTSD, and all must deal with enormous emotional and practical challenges. Even for those who do not develop PTSD, symptoms of anxiety, depression, paranoia, sleep disturbance, substance abuse, and stress-related physical illness are not unusual. Based on hundreds of reports from the field and a growing number of formal studies, energy psychology or acupoint tapping has been remarkably effective in the treatment of trauma-based psychological difficulties. Read more >>>
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
When acupoint tapping protocols were, in the 1980s, first formulated with a focus on psychological change, they were met with skepticism – even mockery – by the clinical community. But a lot has changed since then. Today, hundreds of clinical trials, peer-reviewed papers, and anecdotal reports show the positive – often rapid – transformational effects of energy psychology and tapping. Hidden within this growing literature are 6 fundamental evidence-based premises that demonstrate why tapping works and how it can be used as a remarkably powerful and effective technique in treating a myriad of challenging psychological and physiological issues. Read more >>>
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
Relationships are challenging for everyone, yet the quality of your relationships correlates strongly with your happiness, sense of well-being, and even your physical health. Can acupoint tapping help you and your clients address the challenging issues that even the best relationships bring our way? Practitioners are, in fact, finding that the answer to that question is “Yes!” Tapping can be effectively applied to foster greater intimacy, trust, understanding, and ease.
This month’s article takes a close look at the power of energy psychology for improving relationships. It shows how tapping can be used to develop 7 key relationship skills and includes revealing examples from Donna Eden’s 44-year relationship with her husband and closest collaborator, David Feinstein (hint: it’s not always been easy, even after it’s become wonderful!) Read more >>>
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
Note: This article first appeared March 26th, 2014 and has been updated.
When the same topic shows up repeatedly in client sessions over a short period of time, it always gets my attention.
A significant number of my clients have recently been reporting that they are struggling with a tendency towards perfectionism. They tell me that it’s getting in the way of their completing tasks and making progress.
Perfectionism generally shows up in two ways.
The first and most common way is spending way too much time on a task to make sure it is just perfect before moving on. This is especially prevalent when you are working on something that other people will see, such as creating a product or service for your business.
This kind of perfectionism becomes problematic because it causes us to fall behind schedule, or never get to the other tasks we need to address.
The second way that perfectionism presents itself is when we never make a start on certain tasks because of the subconscious fear that they won’t turn out perfectly.
When humans lived in nomadic tribes many thousands of years ago, the world was a treacherous place. Danger lurked around every corner and we were hardwired for caution and safety. Humans didn’t start anything they couldn’t finish for fear of depleting precious reserves of energy that might be needed in a life threatening situation.
It’s an understatement to point out that neither of these outcomes are useful!
At its core, perfectionism is really about keeping us safe. It is much less about something needing to be perfect because perfect is better, and more about fearing what may go wrong if it is not perfect.
Subconsciously you might worry that if something is not perfect:
It will end badly
You will be judged as not good enough
Others won’t trust you in the future
You will be found out to be a fraud
Those concerns might seem extreme, especially when perfectionism is focused on small daily tasks, but in reality that is what is happening.
Below are some simple steps to help you interrupt your drive towards perfection.
I encourage you to tap the entire time you are doing this process. When I do exercises like this one, I often tap on my collar bone with my left hand and write out my answers with my right.
By undermining the “proof,” we can also undermine the belief that something could go wrong. And when the fear of something going wrong is dislodged, then perfectionism doesn’t arise because it no longer needs to keep us safe. This leads us to taking more action, more progress, and feeling more comfortable with sharing our work with others.
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
Every year, more than 8 million people in the United States struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) along with another 350 million people worldwide. PTSD can occur in people who have experienced or even witnessed a severe trauma, and it affects areas of the brain connected to managing difficult emotions, especially fear and anxiety. PTSD can create intense physical, emotional, and mental distress, and if left untreated, it can lead to long-term psychological and physiological damage. Thankfully, energy psychology – in this article acupoint tapping – can help! read more…
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
I just typed “quotes with quit” into Google and here are some of the results:
I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’ — Muhammad Ali
If you live long enough, you’ll make mistakes. But if you learn from them, you’ll be a better person. It’s how you handle adversity, not how it affects you. The main thing is never quit, never quit, never quit. — William J. Clinton
Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. — Napoleon Hill
Winners never quit and quitters never win. — Vince Lombardi
We will all fail in life, but nobody has to be a failure. Failing at a thing doesn’t make you a failure. You are only a failure when you quit trying. — Joyce Meyer
If you quit ONCE it becomes a habit. Never quit! — Michael Jordan
For the most part, I agree with these quotes.
Most of the success in my life has come after I pushed past the place of struggle and pain. A sound work ethic and persistence are both important.
But there is a big problem with all the “Quitters never win” talk. It builds the unconscious belief that we shouldn’t quit anything. On a subconscious (and sometimes a conscious) level we equate quitting with failure. AND sometimes we make it even more dramatic than that. Instead of saying we have quit (an action), we call ourselves a quitter (as in defining ourselves as such).
Sometimes quitting something is the smartest thing we can do.
Some of them are obvious. People want to quit smoking, eating too many sweets, or staying in bed past midday on the weekend.
If a friend told you they wanted to quit smoking, I’m sure you wouldn’t respond, “Quitters never win.” That would just be silly!
But there is a part of us that thinks we have to finish everything we start and that quitting is a sign of weakness, or it questions our integrity because we are not living up to our work.
In truth, there are lots of things in your life that you need to quit doing.
Some of them were never healthy to begin with (like smoking), whereas others started out as helpful, but are no longer.
For example, you might have enrolled in a class because you thought it would help your career, but your goals have changed since you started the class. By staying in the class you are wasting your time and money.
BUT…a part of you won’t let you give up the class because of the belief that quitting is a sign of weakness. Quitting signals your lack of integrity. And quitters never win!
I want you to be a quitter. I want you to give up. I want you to let go of the commitments.
Not all of them. Not even most of them. Just the ones that are no longer serving you.
As you are thinking about this, is there a knot in your stomach? Is there a part of you that feels like you are letting yourself down, your family down, your pattern down, your collaborators down, or your religion down?
If so, tap along to this:
There is a part of me that doesn’t want me to quit…Because quitters never win…And winners never quit…But this is no longer serving me…It is a waste of my time and effort…It is holding me back…I am not quitting it because it is hard…I am not quitting it because it is too much…I am quitting it because I need to be doing something else…Quitting this is not a sign of weakness…It is a sign of strength to let go of something that is no longer serving me…It is OK for me to quit this thing that is no longer good for me…It is better for me to quit…I am not failing…I am crafting the life I want and need to create…I am not choosing away from something…But instead choosing toward something that is serving me.
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
Did you know that Energy Psychology is a derivative of Energy Medicine? Energy Medicine works with at least nine major energy systems. In contrast, Energy Psychology modalities generally focus on only one of these systems. These may be the chakras, the aura, or most frequently, the meridians (by tapping on or otherwise stimulating the acupuncture points that are distributed along the meridian lines).
Energy Psychology draws from a narrow range of Energy Medicine techniques and applies them to psychological and spiritual issues. Research shows that it is very good at this, with clinical outcomes that are notable for their power, speed, and durability.
A way to think about the relationship between Energy Medicine and Energy Psychology is to look at the relationship between conventional medicine and conventional psychiatry. Psychiatry draws from conventional medicine, using only a small range of the tools available for treating health issues, and it focuses what it does use on mental health issues. In this sense, psychiatry is a derivative of conventional medicine. In a parallel way, Energy Psychology is a derivative of Energy Medicine.
So Energy Medicine, whose roots extend back thousands of years, is the “mother” of Energy Psychology. The glaring difference with psychiatry is, of course, that psychiatrists have gone through four years of medical school, including hands-on clinical “rotations” in eight of the major medical specialties before entering their three-year intensive residency in psychiatry. Many Energy Psychology practitioners, on the other hand, may have never taken a single course in energy medicine.
This article offers Energy Psychology practitioners and others who might be less schooled in Energy Medicine a glimpse into the development of one of the most widely-known and highly-respected contemporary forms of Energy Medicine, Eden Energy Medicine, based on the work of Donna Eden, an ACEP Lifetime Achievement Award recipient. It then delves into the controversial question of whether subtle energies that science hasn’t been able to measure or even detect—Iike the “life force,” “chi,” or “prana”—can be accessed for health and healing, and whether they even, in fact, exist. Read more…
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
Over 2,000 years ago, Aristotle said, “Body and soul respond to one another in sympathy.” His poetic observation probably arose from the fact that physicians of ancient Greece believed the life of the spirit is somehow intertwined with the state of the body and that emotional balance is a crucial influencer in health.
Although Western medicine has long grappled with connecting the mind and emotions in treating illness, significant, positive breakthroughs have been made in recent years. This is particularly true when it comes to a mind-body intervention that appears to have special strengths in its ability to address psychological factors in illness.
Energy psychology is proving to be a highly effective approach to overcoming difficult emotions and unhelpful beliefs without a long course of psychotherapy. Read more…
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
Note: This article was first published May 14th, 2014 and has been updated.
I need to warn you upfront: This article may come across as a little harsh.
I don’t mean to be harsh. I don’t intend to be mean. But this is an important concept you need to keep in mind when approaching change work.
The fact is simple:
Our loved ones want us to transform and have a better life as long as they don’t have to change too.
It’s not that they don’t want the best for us or that they don’t think our progress is a good thing. The fact is there is something happening under the surface that makes it hard for our loved ones to support our change.
I want to be clear. In almost every case our loved ones are not doing this consciously. The people who truly care about you DO want better for you.
They want you to move forward. They want you to heal. They want you to achieve your goals.
The problem comes when your change impacts their lives.
In each of our relationships there is a whole set of unwritten rules for what we expect of each other. These rules have been crafted through experience over time in a natural, unspoken way.
When we change, these expectations may no longer be met.
Here’s an example of how this might play out. Let’s say that you have a friend who always calls you to vent their emotions whenever something goes wrong in their life. After much thought, you decide you need to go back to school in order to achieve your long-term life goals.
Now that you are in school you have less free time and don’t pick up the phone every time your friend calls. It is not that you no longer care, but you are busier.
From your friend’s perspective (more than likely in an unconscious way) it feels like you no longer care because you aren’t there to pick up the pieces of their life and they slowly start to resent you.
Your moving forward has transformed the relationship and it is possible that they feel hurt and left behind as a consequence.
Our loved ones want us to transform and have a better life as long as they don’t have to change too.
Difficulties in our relationships with loved ones can arise when their lives change in an unexpected way.
It is important to remember that your change and transformation didn’t happen overnight. Usually healing our past issues is something that happens gradually.
I like to think of the healing process as a new sprout bursting from the ground in the spring. Although the growth seems to have happened overnight, in reality weeks of hard work has been taking place beneath the surface.
When we are healing issues we often put in the difficult work of transformation for many weeks or months before real change shows up in our lives.
For us, change is a process that unfolds gradually. But for our loved ones, our change can seem like a sudden and unexpected event, which may catch them off guard.
Just because change may make our relationships difficult at first, it doesn’t mean that it will always be that way.
Our relationships are constantly being renegotiated and expectations change. In time, all of the relationships in our lives will catch up with our transformation.
In almost every case this will make our relationships better in the long run. (And it is also true we might lose some relationships along the way if they are unable to adjust or catch up.)
When we realize that the people in our lives will resist our transformation it is common and understandable that we resist taking action for fear of having to deal with the possible repercussions.
Recognizing this conflict turns it into a tappable issue. Here’s a simple script you can follow:
I recognize the fact that I am changing…I am evolving…I am healing…These changes are going to impact the way I show up in the world…Not only does it impact how I spend my time and the choices I make…It will also impact my relationships…I know most of the people in my life want what is best for me…I also know that as I change and evolve my relationships will change…And those changes might catch some of my loved ones off guard…They might feel a little overwhelmed by the changes…They might not like the way our relationship is changing…The reality is all of my relationships are changing all of the time…Most of the time it is happening in subtle ways…But when there is a more drastic change it is more noticeable…I know I am on the right journey…I know I am evolving in the right way for me…I know the people in my life want what is best for me…My relationships will catch up to my transformation…And it will be better in the long term for all of us.
Note: This article was first published October 12th, 2014 and has been updated.
If you have been reading my website or newsletter for any length of time, then I am sure you have read something where I was bragging about my great editor. She is the best! (And more importantly she has become a good friend.)
She does more than make sure my dyslexic writing is clear and readable, she really cares about the quality of work that appears on the site. When what I have written is unclear, she provides great recommendations. If I have written something that is not quite accurate, her research ensures I am set straight. If I am behind on newsletters and articles, she gently reminds me about deadlines.
AND she is always (and I mean always) challenging any inflated, hypey language that I use in headlines, subject lines, or in sales letters.
On the surface I think this happens for two reasons. First, she is looking at my copy from how it feels as a consumer, rather than a marketer. Second, she is not American. The American style of marketing tends to be hypey. She is from Africa and lives in Europe, so she provides a larger perspective that I might miss.
Both of these things are invaluable, but it goes much deeper than that.
I spend a lot of time working with my clients on marketing their products and services. I help them tweak their message, I clean up their sales copy, and I help them practice talking to prospective clients.
In the last fifteen years I have spent more time and money on learning how to write good sales copy and communicate in a sales setting than on all of my other training combined.
I understand the key to selling anything is getting your potential customer in touch with the pain they are experiencing. For extreme examples all you need to do is think of infomercials where you are shown an example of a blunt old knife smushing a tomato, the old garden hose in hopeless tangles, or an ancient mop making more of a mess than it is cleaning up.
As we have talked about many times before, we are most likely to make changes in our lives when we are either in a great deal of pain or really close to achieving a goal.
Effective marketing helps you to recognize your pain. It points out everything that is going wrong. The more clearly you see how bad your problem is, the more likely it is that you will want to take action to relieve your pain.
In principle, I do not have a problem with pointing out the pain someone is experiencing.
If you read any of the sales letters I have written, you will see I spend a lot of time doing just that. I am not trying to make your life worse. I am not trying to cause you more pain. I can honestly say I am trying to get you to level with yourself so that you recognize the cost of not changing.
But this becomes a tricky business.
It is one thing for me to point out how you are wrecking your tomatoes when you are making a salad with a blunt knife. It is a totally different matter when I am pointing out a part of your life, your work, or your body, with which you are less than satisfied.
When I (or any other marketer) start talking about what is unsatisfactory in your personal life, we are tapping into something that could be acutely painful.
In doing this my goal is always to be working from a place of wanting what is best for my readers. So when I point out dissatisfaction and pain, I am doing it because I know you are made for better and I want better for you.
But just because my intention is to do that in a helpful way doesn’t mean I am always successful.
In some ways it is easier to sell self-help products than it is to sell anything else. It is hard to get you worked up about not liking the way your tomatoes are cut. It is really easy to get you worked up about the things you don’t like about your life.
You already know what those things are. They are the reason why you might emotionally eat or drink too much or stay in a job that isn’t right for you. For the most part we are able to numb that pain in our daily life.
But a good sales letter will pull all that pain to the surface and expose it to the bright light.
As marketers, once we have you in that pain, it is easy.
All you want to do is find relief from that pain. You read the promises of the product being sold. You read the glowing testimonials of the people who have used it.
You think, “This is too good to be true!” AND you are in so much pain that you pull out your credit card.
I want to be clear. I am not saying self-help tools and coaching programs don’t work. Nor am I saying that all self-help marketers are hucksters and cheats.
I know lots of them. There are so many in the world who are creating amazing products, running transformational programs, and are making a real difference in their clients’ lives.
At this moment I am more concerned about the hard drives full of digital products that are collecting digital dust.
I am willing to bet your computer is full of them.
You don’t need another program. You don’t need another sure thing. You don’t need a miracle catch-all.
The first step is to look through the hard drive of materials you already have and use one of the tools.
If you are unable to find time or a way to use the tools you already have, then the problem probably isn’t in the tools. More than likely the issue is about actually doing the work. It is about the struggle of creating a routine or having a system to keep you accountable to taking consistent action.
I would like you to do this for me. Before you buy your next self-help thing, from me or from someone else (but especially if it is from me!) I want you to tap to these phases:
Right now I am in pain…The sales letter I just read…Has helped me to reconnect with this pain…But it is a pain that I already know is there…This is something I know I need to change…As I consider buying this product…I am open to the possibility that it might be helpful…It might be the exactly right thing for me to buy…And it might also be something that I think will fix my problems…I know that change is possible…I know that I can have better…I know that I am made for better…But buying another product…Or signing up for another class is not going to do it…I need to take the tool set I am considering buying and apply it…And I need to apply it consistently…That is how change will happen…It is OK if I buy this…If it is the right thing for me.
Print this out. Bookmark this. Or just think of it the next time you are considering buying a new self-help product.
I want you to have the life you want. I know my life is better because I have invested in self-help tools. But I also know that my computer is filled with tools and programs and guides I have never used!
Make good choices, not just choices in the hope of a quick fix.
You are worth it.
[Note: Let me know if you are looking for an awesome editor or someone to do other tasks for your business. I would happily connect you with mine. Like I said, she really is the best!]
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
One of the biggest challenges in being an effective tapping practitioner comes down to this question: What words do I use (or ask my client to use) to accompany the tapping process?
Choosing the right words, phrases, or sentences based on an individual’s temperament, history, and target problem or goal is often the critical difference between an effective tapping session and one that fails to create desired outcomes.
To uncover the ins and outs of the words and language used in conjunction with tapping, clinical psychologist David Feinstein, Ph.D., presents the first peer-reviewed report to examine the wording used during actual acupoint tapping sessions. The report analyzes hundreds of videotaped statements that were judged as moving a session in a positive direction. Read more.
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.
Tapping on acupuncture points while saying certain statements aloud is a powerful tool for resolving mental, emotional, and physical difficulties. More than 120 clinical trials show the approach (which falls under the category of “Energy Psychology”) to be fast and effective in producing strong outcomes.
But how can tapping on the skin make a difference? It looks strange and seems like wishful thinking, yet informed estimates suggest that millions of people worldwide have experienced substantial positive change!
To unravel the mysteries of tapping, a new in-depth analysis by psychologist David Feinstein examined the reports of more than 800 practitioners and clients who participated in 15 studies based on interviews or online surveys.
Continue to a Summary of the Study and a Link to the Entire Paper…
About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.
Note: This article was originally published October 22nd 2012 and has been updated.
From the very beginning, the first step of Gary Craig’s Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) was to tap on the side of the hand and use what he called the set-up phrase: “Even though I have this issue I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
I can appreciate the sentiment of wanting this for ourselves, but many clients over the years have queried why they need to use this phrase.
Here are five thoughts to consider when choosing tapping phrases:
This is the piece of advice I give most often to tapping beginners. When most of us learn tapping we are taught to tap on a point while saying a phrase. This can lead us to believe that to get relief what we need to do is say a phrase and tap.
In reality the way we find relief while tapping is by focusing on an issue and tapping on the points. Saying words out loud about the problem is one effective way of focusing your effort BUT it is not the only way.
Your focus is of most importance, not the words you use.
Sometimes a specific word, phrase, or reframe will help us to focus intensely, while at other times no words are needed at all. The great thing about tapping is that it is really quick and there are few consequences for trying something new.
My advice is to try lots of different phrases and find the ones that work best for you. If something is not ringing true, try something else, it will only cost you a few seconds. So if the phrase “I love and accept myself” isn’t useful, then look for something else that is.
[For more information on the types of information that we get from each round of tapping and what to try next check out Feedback: What We Can Learn From Each Round Of Tapping]
This builds on the principle of our focus being more important than the words we say. Often saying words we don’t believe helps us to focus on the issue we want to address.
Let’s take weight release as an example.
Imagine that you want to release 35 lbs. but there is a part of you that doesn’t believe it is possible. You could tap on the phrase “there is a part of me that doesn’t believe I can release this weight” as an easy way to tune in to that part of yourself that feels hopeless about shedding the excess pounds.
You could also say the exact opposite and achieve the same result. You could tap on a phrase like “I know that I am going to release 35 lbs!” and the little voice inside my head will respond “No, you are not! There is no way you will release this weight. It’s hopeless!”
Here the focus is not on the words, but on the feelings of hopelessness around the situation. In both cases you are tapping on the same issue, even though the phrases have opposite meanings.
The same can be true for the phrase “I love and accept myself.” When you say this phrase out loud and focus on whatever emotions arise, you will be tapping on the issue that needs to be addressed.
This is especially true if you believe the phrase because the critical voice inside your head will pipe up and tell you so.
I find it interesting when my clients have an immediate visceral reaction to something because it tells me that we have struck a nerve.
For example, you could call me overly obsessive about sports. I may disagree with you on this, but you won’t get an emotional response from me because it’s not something I worry about in my own life.
On the other hand, if you were to call me self-absorbed, that would elicit an emotional response from me. I would feel attacked, hurt, and offended. Not because this is not true, but because I do personally I struggle with this concern. I would feel attacked because there is a wound around this area of my life and you just prodded that wound.
I believe one of the main reasons people don’t like saying “I love and accept myself” is because it hits close to home as something a part of them can’t believe. We don’t like saying these words because they remind us of our own failings.
Saying something we don’t believe in gives us the opportunity to tune in to the part of our personality that doesn’t believe the phrase. If there is a strong “I don’t like saying I love and accept myself” reaction, then this is a great area to explore when you are tapping on our own or with a practitioner.
Occasionally some issues can be so emotionally charged that it is not useful or safe for us to dive into them. One of the reasons I love tapping is because it allows us to creep up on a problem slowly without having to go directly to the most painful part of it.
If the phrase “I completely love and accept myself” is too emotionally charged to be useful to you, try these alternatives instead:
If you are looking for more creative set-up phrases you should check out the set-up phrase generator. Each time you refresh the page it will give you 10 new set-up phrases to try.
Never might be a little strong, but as a general rule I don’t start a round of tapping with the set-up phrase because the emotional reaction it prompts in many people can be distracting. If you are tapping on an issue that has nothing to do with love and acceptance and you have an issue with that idea, then you are complicating the moment.
For example, let’s say I’m tapping on a pain in my knee and I tap on “Even though I have this pain in my knee I love and accept myself.” Now I am dealing with the pain in my knee AND I have surfaced issues with the self-acceptance issue. Instead, I find it more useful and natural to tap on self-acceptance when it arises in connection with another issue.
This last point is rather controversial and I know a number of respected practitioners who would strongly disagree with me. As always, do what works best for you.
Do you have to say, “I love and accept myself” for tapping to work? Of course not.
BUT if you are having a hard time saying it or you feel uncomfortable when you think about it, then it is more than likely that you have hit a nerve around an issue that needs some extra attention. As Mastin Kipp says, “Without self-acceptance self-help won’t work” so you might consider making time to tap specifically on this issue.
Every day in the month of November I will be posting a brand new free tap-along video to my website and I am going to encourage you to tap along with me.
This week I spent some time working on the list of topics I plan to cover in the videos, based on the questions I’ve been receiving in my inbox and the conversations I’ve been having with my clients.
Do you have a topic you think I should cover? If so, I would love to hear from you.
As an incentive, I am giving away two free 30-minute one-on-one Zoom sessions with me.
One of those sessions will be awarded to the person who submits the topic I like the best. The other session will be given to someone selected at random.