One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions
What lessons have clients taught you about healing
If I just hold the space from the deepest part of myself, present to my depth, my darkness, my pain, my light, all of it unconditionally, HEALING HAPPENS AUTOMATICALLY through them. I’m not “doing” anything but allowing it. Kim D’Eramo, D.O.
I always say my clients are the experts and I am the educated guide. I learn where to go and where not to go. I am always respectful that my thoughts are different from my clients’ thoughts. If I ask what bothers them about work, I think they will say their boss or co-workers. I am surprised when they say the commute. So, I have learned to keep asking questions, keep exploring and being a detective to understand what this situation and emotion is for them. Robin Bilazarian, LCSW
I’ve learned that self-judgment of our uncomfortable emotions prevents them from processing naturally like they are designed to do. This is the brilliance of the EFT setup statement. We start with simply stating the truth. Of course, it’s not always that simple because we aren’t often honest with ourselves – or it’s not conscious – about what we are feeling and why. We get to tap on that confusion, the ruses, the excuses, and the truth then presents itself. As soon as we clear the judgment, shame, lack of acceptance of and resistance to pain, the rest of the clearing often happens quite organically. It’s always been easier to see this self-judgment in my clients than myself. It’s led me to take my own advice and that has made a tremendous difference for me. Kris Ferraro
I learned that no matter how much I know or how much I want to give and support someone in their healing journey, they will receive only up to the point that they are ready to receive. Thus, whatever I have to offer, I give it with all my heart and allow the person to receive what he/she can receive. It will be perfect. Deborah D Miller
I have learned four lessons. People are much stronger than they seem. Motivation is key to healing. People aren’t as self-aware as they might believe. Clients notice what’s happening in the heart of the therapist more than it might seem, so authenticity is key. Jake Khym
I have learned to respect their healing path and to respond with patience. I’ve learned to set my agenda aside and keep meeting them where they are each time. When I do this, we make progress–not on my timetable but on theirs. Ange Finn
What I’m learning from clients now is that psychological and emotional safety is the number one condition for healing. That psychological/emotional safety is a much more ‘slippery’ deal than we realize. With the majority of clients they will say that they are experiencing safety, however that is a ‘conditioned safety’ or what I’m calling a ‘pseudo safety’ which has more in common with a nervous system chronically conditioned to a freeze response rather than a true embodied sense of safety. This makes the EFT conversation around psychological reversal enormously important. As well the conversation around the pace of the work with clients. Nancy Forester
Healing is possible even when they are and I am convinced it isn’t. There is a deeper part of us that is always working to make us whole and when we can engage with it. Healing isn’t just possible, it is inevitable. Steve Wells
I am always in awe of what /people are willing to do to become more of who they really are. Clients are willing to take the leap with someone they barely know and then share their deepest fears and trust that they will be safe. Mary Ayers
Especially when using Emotional Freedom Techniques, I have learned that the real issue isn’t always what the conscious mind thinks it is. A client will often present themselves in my office and tell me all about “their issue” only to later discover that it’s really something quite different than what they thought. I have come to realize that the conscious mind often has little idea of what’s going on within the subconscious mind, which is where the actual issues reside.
Over the years I have had a few clients that completed the healing process only after I suggested they acknowledge that I am not their “healer”. They had gotten to a plateau and only after we worked on their ability to recognize that it was their own bodies that were doing the healing did they finish the process. The part of EFT that is so empowering is that much can be done on one’s own. Alina Frank
I have learnt that rapport is key. When a client feels accepted and connected for who they are, great healing occurs. Tania A Prince
Sometimes you need the courage to cry. I had been working with a client who had suffered emotional abuse from an OCD parent through all their schooling years. Every day they would put on a brave face to cope with school and the scorn and judgment of teachers and students.
After a number of tapping sessions, the control required to get through each day was slipping but the old habit of holding on to the mask was still strong. Eventually, as we tapped on the fear of letting go and the courage it had taken to survive all those years the release of tension and shame resulted in a much-needed release of tears and stress from their whole body. It takes great courage to let go and cry and we can help ourselves and others to find the courage required to do so within themselves.