A few weeks ago in When You Explain Cause And Effect Wrong It Makes Your Life Harder I started with: When I am listening to my clients talk about their issues I am not just listening for the meaning of what they are sharing, but I am also listening to the very specific words they are using. The words we use to describe something will impact the way we understand a situation which then in turn impacts our emotional response to the situation. The example I love to use is when my ...
This week's podcast sponsored by Pain Relief Miracle. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make with tapping is not spending enough time on an issue to make sure that it is completely cleared. Because tapping brings relief so quickly in the moment it is easy to feel like we are done with the issue but in reality that’s often not the case. A good way to think of it is to compare it to cleaning a room. While you are cleaning you feel great about the progress you are making. You feel ...
I am always humbled at how willing my clients are to share some of the most private parts of their lives. Once we have established a trusting relationship, during sessions I hear it all. And that’s a really positive thing because it makes it easier for me to help them because we know what we are going after. But even with that being true, loneliness is an issue that my clients find difficult to talk about. As we become more emotionally intelligent it is easier for us to be honest about where ...
We know that when we are trying to make a change but not taking the required action we need to find out what is behind our resistance. We can ask ourselves what the penalties are for trying, for failing, and for succeeding. But sometimes these questions aren't helpful in discovering why we are resisting taking action. When that happens to me I use this three-step version of hero tapping. Hero tapping is a handy tool where we use the example of someone doing what we want (aka the hero) to ...
When I am listening to my clients talk about their issues I am not just listening for the meaning of what they are sharing, but I am also listening to the very specific words they are using. The words we use to describe something will impact the way we understand a situation which then in turn impacts our emotional response to the situation. The example I love to use is when my client "Deb" said "Everyone at work hates me!" I asked, "Really, everyone?" She replied, "No. It's really ...
When working with clients I have noticed that people often believe change is possible and they believe EFT is the tool that will help them to make that change...but they don't believe it is possible for them. They tell me stories of how they have made too many bad choices, their family history runs too deep, or their habits are just too ingrained. Over and over again I have heard them say, "It's just too late to change." When a part of us doesn't believe it is possible for us to change, it’s ...
Dealing with unwanted criticism is hard. It’s painful in the moment because the attack feels personal, and it often is. After the fact it tends to fester and gnaw at us. It would be great to believe that we are able to see past the criticism and understand the motivation of the person making it. But it can and does hurt. And if we aren't willing to deal with that hurt, it will get worse. Even if you haven't been criticized lately I would encourage you to spend some time with this audio ...
Learning EFT can be very exciting at first. Tapping is so easy. Anyone can do it! It can be done anywhere! It seems to work for everything! You download podcasts, tapping scripts, and ebooks. You attend online seminars and sign up for programs. You start working on a personal peace procedure (listing every bad memory you have in your life to tap on in turn). You decide you are going to tap for your health, your relationships, your creativity, and getting a better job. And ...
As much as we would like to believe in ourselves, our actions, and our future there are times when that is really difficult to do. We can be filled with self-doubt, feeling like we have squandered our opportunities, or that we have made so many mistakes it is hard for us to keep moving forward. I know I have a great life and most of the time I am very much at peace with who and where I am. But there are times when I doubt...when I really don't feel like that special snowflake I was told I ...
If you type "setting goals" into Google it will return over 450 million results. Study after study has shown how crucial setting goals can be to progress. But goals aren't enough. They can get you moving down the right path, but we need more to take action consistently. In this conversation with Steve Wells we talk about how can get in our own way when we are taking action. Often there is a part of our system that is committed to our goal AND at the very same time a part of our system doesn't ...
Good Morning, I recently received another one of those emails when I was selling my Advanced Tapping Training. It went like this: "Oh I see how it is! You promise that you are going to give us all this free stuff only so you can sell us products. I have seen this from other internet hucksters. Your bait and switch isn't going to work on me. I never want to hear from you again! You should be ashamed!!!!! It has been a while since I last did this and I thought this was a ...
[Note: Last change for the 40% the Advanced Tapping Training go here http://bit.ly/gatherdeal] One of the keys to being an emotionally intelligent human being is understanding what the people around us are feeling and experiencing. This skill can be particularly useful when we are helping and caring for others. When it comes to emotional intelligence there is a big difference between empathy and sympathy. Both are can be useful, but for us to be healthy we need to understand the difference ...
The things we want to change in our life show up most obviously in the choices we make daily. Because of this it makes the most sense to focus our tapping work on trying to transform these choices. Even if our tapping is successful in doing this, it is often not enough to make long-term, lasting change. In addition to the choices we make moment to moment, our success is impacted by our beliefs about the world and our self-identity. In this conversation with Adele Wang I share how we can ...
I think we all know what it is like to feel stuck. We know what we want to do or we know what we want to change, but for some reason we just can't take action. There is an obvious cost to being stuck. For every passing moment that we don't change the thing we want changed, we lose that moment and never get it back. Even more than that being stuck costs us all the emotion and energy we spend on the how we feel about being stuck. In this interview with Carol Look we talk about the emotional ...
I always find my conversations with Rick Wilkes interesting. Of all of the interviews I do they tend to be the least planned because they are much more interesting conversations than they are traditional interviews. When I email Rick to see what he wanted to chat about this time he replied with the world "lovership". My first thought was, "That sounds great!” and then, “I have no idea what that means." When Rick uses the word lovership he is talking about how we create relationships (that ...
A number of years ago Andy Hunt wrote an interesting article on his site Practical Wellbeing that has stuck with me. In Self-Hate Speech he looks at the hate speech laws of the UK and asked the question of how would law enforment respond to you if they heard the words you thought about yourself. I don't know about you, but I am certainly capable of thinking some nasty things about myself. In addition to thinking nasty, hateful things about ourselves, for some reason we also give those ...
I love talking about the work I do. When I am meeting someone for the first time I don't jump right into tapping or EFT. I talk about self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, and emotional healing. At some point in the conversation, because people are so interested in what I do, the conversation turns to how I do it. This means we have to talk about tapping and EFT. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about EFT, but to the uninitiated it sounds weird. OK, it's not just weird, it’s really ...
I love people who have a natural healing disposition. They see their healing talents as a gift that they want to share with others. Sometimes this giftedness has the drawback of attracting many more people than we are capable of helping. For helpers and healers it can be hard to create healthy boundaries. When our boundaries are overrun it’s easy simply to want to cut ourselves off. In this conversation with Rue Hass we talk about how we can establish boundaries from a generative rather than ...
You have been there before. You are trying to make a change, like giving up sweets. The first day is hard. The second is harder. The third day, for some unknown reason, is really easy. You feel awesome. You are making progress. Real change is happening. Then along comes day four... You come home from work and you find yourself eating one little piece of candy. You think, "This is no big deal. It is only one piece." Then it is two, then four, and then the bag is empty and you think, ...
Creating the loving relationship we desire it isn't simply about finding a partner. We want to find our way to the right relationship that feeds and nurtures us. Unfortunately many people keep finding themselves in the same type of relationship that isn't right for them. In this conversation Stefan Gonick talks about what we can learn from our past relationship patterns and how to address our conscious and unconscious fears around them, thereby making useful action towards creating a ...