A few weeks ago in podcast #149 we talked about the trouble with saying "I love and accept myself". As we discussed, sometimes it is hard to say and there are also times where it isn't helpful to say. It was a useful discussion you should check out. I was overwhelmed with the response to that podcast. I as I noted in the Best Of 2014 I received the most emails about this particular post in the whole year. One question came up again and again: "How exactly do I tap for self-acceptance?" Here ...
There are a number of books and movies that I revisit at least once a year. I do this because even though the stories and information are the same, I have changed and therefore they impact me in a new way. It might be the sixth time I have re-read a particular book, but it feels like there are passages that I have never seen before. As we come the end of 2014 I thought it would be useful to revisit some of the best of the best from TappingQ&A. If there is something from the site you ...
Surrogate tapping is a tricky topic. Tapping itself is difficult enough to explain, but trying to explain how I can tap on my body to promote change in someone else is a whole other level. At that point it sounds like we are talking about woo-woo crap that just can't be true. In the last few weeks I have witnessed some amazing things with surrogate tapping (or at least they appear to be the result of surrogate tapping). First, my sister regularly takes her dog Addison to the vet. Like many ...
Good morning, When I was a kid my mother would ask me wanted I wanted for Christmas and she’d always end the question with the addendum "and you are not allowed to ask for world peace." It's not that my mother didn't want world peace. She just knew that she wasn't going to be able to find it in my size in time for Christmas day. This year I have a different request for Christmas. My friend Laura Reach is an amazing tattoo artist. (I happen to carry hours of her work on my left arm.) ...
Often our biggest obstacle we have to using tapping in the healing process is ourselves. This plays out in two ways. First, sometimes a part of us doesn’t feel it is safe for us to heal. Since a part of our system doesn't feel safe healing we short circuit the healing process. When this happens we don't tap as much as we would like and always seem to have other things to do. Second, there are times when we are tapping for the "wrong issue" or have the "wrong expectation" of how the ...
My clients often complain that even though they tap regularly for their issues, there are times when their emotions get the better of them. The goal of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is not for us to become emotionless. Our emotions are important because they allow us to feel in order to navigate the world and they are what give our experience richness. The problems isn't the emotions themselves, but when and how strongly they show up. In this week's podcast I talk about the ultimate ...
When Gary Craig first introduced the world to Emotional Freedom Techniques he used something he called the setup phrase. You would tap on the side of your hand or rub the sore spot and say, "Even though I have [insert issue] I completely love and accept myself." As time has passed and EFT has evolved most teachers of tapping fall into one of two camps. They are either insistent that you do this every time or they never do it at all. There are enough tapping teachers who are still sharing the ...
My walk home from Thanksgiving dinner took about a half an hour. It was a quiet afternoon and the Brooklyn streets were almost deserted. As I was walking I started singing Sinéad O'Connor's "Thank You For Hearing Me." I find it to be a such a profound and holy song (and I don't use the word holy lightly). It would perfect to tap along to today. ...
Between the bonus podcasts and the full show I have shared over 200 podcasts! It has been an amazing journey. I would like to thank: Adele Wang, Alina Frank, AnaMaria Herrera, Andy Bryce, Ann Ross, Brad Yates, Brittany Watkins, Carol Look, Carol Tuttle, Catherine Poole, Colleen Flanagan, Dan Cleary, Dawson Church, Deborah Miller, Dene Ballantine, Elham Kashefi, Gina Parris, Gwenn Bonnell, Gwyneth Moss, Helen Walker, Jake Khym, Janet Hilts, Jaqui Crooks, Jared Tendler, Jenn Goddard, Jesse ...
We live in a time of exceptionalism. Everywhere we turn we are presented with the biggest, the best, the greatest, and the most important. And it is not just coming from marketers. If you spend any time on social media you see people describing the best meal they have ever had, the greatest vacation of all time, and the most important thing they learned. We have come to a place where if it isn't the best then it must be a failure. Wanting To Be The Best All The Time Is Bad For Us I think that ...
I was recently having drinks with a friend and we were talking about my time teaching anger management in jail. She asked if I would teach her one of the tools I taught the guys. So I explained one of my favorites. She responded, "I can see how that tool would useful, but that is just about emotions generally. How is that tool an 'anger management' tool?" And she was right. Every tool I taught in jail was about having a healthy emotional response. Yes, the guys were looking to manage their ...
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a healing protocol that is gaining more and more acceptance worldwide. I see it very much as a cousin of EFT and tapping. In this podcast I interview Masha Bennett who is very experienced in both. She compares and contrasts the two protocols. In doing so she shares what tappers can learn from EMDR and what EMDR practitioners can learn from tapping. Regardless how much tapping training and experience you have you will learn from this ...
Recently my friend Rebecca Kane asked me about my approach to working with clients and how I structure my client sessions. It turned into a very constructive conversation. If you have ever wondered what a practitioner is thinking when they are doing a session and why they do what they do, here is your chance to hear my point of view. This is not the only way or the best way to do a session, but these are things I keep in mind to ensure I am keeping my clients safe and providing the best care ...
Personally, I don't like the terms alternative medicine or complementary care. The things we do either are working toward helping us to maintain and improve our health or they are not. Elham Kashefi recently watched her dear friend Tara succumb to cancer. During the time she was receiving treatment it became very clear that the medical system taking care of her was incomplete. The system was built only to respond to things after they had gone wrong and was only able to respond in a limited ...
According to Wikipedia the shadow is: In Jungian psychology, the shadow or "shadow aspect" may refer to (1) an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself. Because one tends to reject or remain ignorant of the least desirable aspects of one's personality, the shadow is largely negative, or (2) the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious. In Kris Ferraro’s client work she works directly with the shadow ...
Back in April Seth Godin wrote on his blog: You will never, ever run out of strangers. And so, the goal of perfectly pleasing an infinite number of passersby is a fool's errand. They come with their own world view, their own issues, their own biases. Not only is this true for a world full of strangers, it is also true for the much smaller group of people in your life. No two people you know are alike, have the same world view, or will be pleased by the same things. Every ...
One of the key reasons my clients don't take action is because of perfectionistic tendencies. The tendencies show up because there is a part of our system that is trying to keep us safe. We are worried that if something isn't done just right then things will go wrong. We keep working and working until something is perfect so nothing goes wrong. The problem is that we will never arrive at perfection so therefore we will never act. A few weeks ago I was interviewed by Adele Wang about how I ...
There is no question that our world is becoming increasingly complicated as our down time diminishes. Because we are being pulled in so many different directions with little time to process our experiences it is easy to feel disquieted. In extreme cases this can develop into full-blown social anxiety. In this conversation Helen Walker talks about how we can identify the roots of social anxiety in this sense of overwhelm and disconnection from what is important in life. If you are are feeling ...
Merlin Mann is a technologist, a productivity specialist, and a professional provocateur. I mention the last part because he has the tendency to say things that are true and useful, but in a rather blunt way. During one of his fabulous podcasts (Back To Work) he was describing a question and answer session with a group of top level executives at a very large company. One of the execs was asking about how to manage her time and her inbox. She was describing how she had so many priorities ...
Last week I met up with a friend to catch up over a couple of drinks. As always, the topic of my dating life came up. Since we had last chatted there wasn't anything new to share. Interesting first dates that didn't lead to second dates. Dates who were really interested and interesting who ended up ghosting [1]. Chances to try new restaurants and bars in the city. Really, it was just more of the same. My friend said incredulously, "I don't know what is wrong with them!" referring ...