This was originally written Jan 5th, 2010 and has been updated.
Author Nick Hornby was interviewed by Jesse Thorn from the radio program The Sound of Young America around the time that his new book “Juliet, Naked” was published.
In the interview Thorn asked Hornby about his screenplay for the movie “An Education”. Thorn commented that his wife, Theresa, had thought that the movie was identifiably Horby’s work because it is about people becoming comfortable with who they are, rather than trying to be better.
The idea of not improving, but becoming comfortable with who we are is really interesting to me.
If you were in a bookstore, whether brick and mortar or virtual, the topics covered here at Tapping Q & A would be found in the self-help or self-improvement section.
In some ways the aim of self-improvement implies that there is something wrong with us, or else there wouldn’t be anything to improve upon. Of course I’m not saying there is nothing I could improve on, but on some level I do believe that humans are all perfect and eternal.
It is good that we strive for better. It is good that we strive to be all that we can be, but I believe we are doing ourselves a profound disservice by thinking we are always in need of improvement.
Much of the peace I have found in the world goes back to becoming comfortable with who I am.
Blessing who I am.
Loving who I am.
By shifting my focus from self-improvement to self-acceptance and self-love, I am able to be everything I am and appreciate everything that the world is. When I am fully myself I am best able to find and appreciate the richness of life. That is where I find joy, happiness, and blessings.
At the beginning of each year I decide on a specific focus for the internal work that I want to do in the months ahead. In 2020 my work was to be gentle with myself. Being gentle with myself isn’t about improving myself, but loving and accepting myself in all my imperfections.
Here is a simple tapping script to help you to work towards the same:
I have been made perfectly…This does not mean I do everything perfectly…This does not mean that I can’t strive for more and better…It simply means that at my core…At my essence…I am perfect…When I am able to recognize the part of me that is perfect…Then I am able to become everything I am made to be in this moment…I can recognize the part of me that is perfect without being complacent…I can recognize the part of me that is beautiful and still grow…I can see the blessings in my life and be open to receiving more…I am no longer going to strive for self-improvement…I am going to strive to become who I am in every moment…I don’t need to improve who I am…I desire to be who I am made to be more fully…I am made for love…I am made for connection…I am made to be who I am in this moment…I am not made to be who others think I should be…I am not made to be what others want me to be…This does not mean I am complacent…This does not mean I am stagnant…It means that I am striving to live who I am fully in every moment…I will not do this perfectly…But I am going to strive for this…When I strive to be who I am fully…Then I will recognize the grace of the moment…I will be filled with joy in the moment…I will be who I truly am.