Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Giving It Away For Free, But Only For Good Reason (1a of 4)

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[Note: This article is part 1a of 4 in the series “4 Principles I Never Break As A Practitioner”. In this series I am discussing four of the fundamental principles I never break in running my business. A new article will be added to the site every two or three weeks. You can read the full series and you can check out all the free practitioner resources.]


photo by Patrick Haney

Giving stuff away for free can be a tricky thing to do as a practitioner. On one hand it feels like a good idea because we are exposing potential clients to our products and services. On the other hand we can worry that if we give too much away potential clients are only going to take the free things and never buy.

Giving products and services away for free is a very key part of my business and marketing plan, but it needs to be more than “give it away and hope.” Every time we are giving something away for free (products, services, or our time) we need to be doing for a very specific reason. We need to be giving away for free with a plan.

There are a number of reasons to give things away. Every time I give something away for free it meets at least one of the following reasons. In many cases it meets more.

1) Because It Is A Good Thing To Do
I don't want to reduce giving away good and services to a simple transaction. We are going to talk about a number of things that we get back from free, but there are times when giving is a good thing to do because it is a good thing to do.

There are a number of places that I use my gifts and talents for people I love, people who can't afford my stuff, and places that have a soft spot in my heart. There is some much good that comes out of doing something simply as an act of love.

BUT, and this is a big but, it is very important that you keep this part of your life and your practice in balance. There are only so many hours in the day and there is only so much energy that you have to share with others. If you are not taking care of your own well-being by doing too much work you are going to be no good to anyone. If you are not getting paid for what you do then you are going to need to find another job.

This is a major pit fall for many people in the care-taking fields. We see the suffering of others and know that we can help. How can we possibly say “no”? It is great to help others, but not at the risk of hurting ourselves.

One of the ways I deal with this balance is I have decided there are a certain number of hours of my time I give away. This does two things. First, it challenges me to reach out to others when it is very easy to get lost in my own stuff. Second, it helps me keep balance and not give too much of my time to the detriment to the rest of my life.

2) To Get Experience
The art of delivery is a skill. Just because you know the Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping points and a few techniques it does not mean that you are equipped to run a full time practice. We need practice at our skills. I hope I am much better helping clients than I was a few years ago.

It is a great idea when you are getting ready to starting a practice to decide that over the course of two months you are going to do 20 free sessions as a way of improving your skills. It is important to be up front with your clients that you are newer to the skill set, but this won't deter people. Lots of people are willing to go to barber schools, dental schools, and massage schools for free and discounted work.

As a side note: I also believe that it is really important that you are getting supervision from an experienced practitioner while you are doing this sort of work. It is one thing to spend time with clients, it is something much more to be able to talk through your sessions to see what you could do better in the future.

After each session you are doing to improve your skills I would take a few minutes to review the session. What are the things you did well? What are the things you could improve in the future? You don't get better by accident. You need to plan for your success.

3) To Help Determine If It Is A Good Match
Lots of practitioners will give a free 20min consultation. It is nice to know that if you found a practitioner on-line that you can chat with them to see if your personalities and approaches are going to match, but this is a two way street. This is also an opportunity to see if they are the right clients for you.

I know that if you are just starting out that it is hard to believe that you would ever turn business away, but it is true. There are lots of clients who would be willing to pay you money but are more of a headache than they are worth. Personally, I only want to be working with clients who want to get better. I have encountered clients who are just looking for someone to reaffirm the fact that they are wounded and have no desire to heal. I don't have the time or energy for this in my practice. This will come with experience, but you will start to understand what clients are going to be more trouble than they are worth.

Also, you might get to the point in your practice where you decided to specialize in one area (weight release, children, business) and you will realize that people would be served better somewhere else. There is a practitioner that refers people to me all the time because she wants to be doing only one type of work and she knows I am more of a generalist.

4) To Get Testimonials
One of the great bonuses of living in the modern world is that anyone can communicate with anyone else almost any where in the world. One of the great struggles of the modern world is that anyone can communicate with anyone else almost any where in the world.

There is so much noise out there. You need to find a way to stand out in the crowd. One of the great ways to stand out is having people you worked with talk about their experience. I recently added a client who specifically mentioned the testimonials on my website as a reason she contacted me. It is one thing to say that you are good; it is something else when others say it.

Every time you do a presentation, teach a class, or work with someone one-on-one ask them for a testimonial. When I ask for a testimonial I explain why it is so important to my business and ask them if they are willing to write one for me. I give them the opportunity to put their name on it or keep it anonymous. I also provide them samples of what others have written so they can see what I am looking for. (Here are some of the testimonials I have received.)

5) Introduce Yourself, Your Personality, And Your Competency
When you are giving something away for free (be it a session or information like an article) it gives you a chance to let possible clients know who you are. I mean this more than just being able to put your name with your face, but instead to get a real understanding of who you are.

Tapping Q and A is a very personal web site. I don't spend a great deal of time talking about myself, but if you have been reading this for a while or listening to the podcast you have a sense of who I am. You know what I am passionate about. You can get a sense of how I see the healing process. You can see if I know what I am talking about.

I received a great complement from a client recently. At the end of our first session working together he said, “That felt like our second session because I felt like I knew you from your site and podcast.”

6) To Build A Relationship
Some people aren't ready to sign up for a session when they first encounter you. At first they might be very hesitant because they are new to tapping, they aren't able to afford a session, or they don't ye realize they need outside help yet. I have readers who are on my list for as much as two years before they are ready to do a session with me.

Because I am a presents in their lives by providing a stream of free information to them when it comes time for them to choose a practitioner I am at the front of their minds.

Also, when we build a long-term relationship with people we then have permission to sell things to them. I don't send a lot of sales letter to my list, but I do send them. Most of the times they are very well received because my readers what to hear from me because of the relationship we have. I am not forcing my way into there life with “BUY! BUY! BUY!” but I am already there and this time I happen to have something for sale.

I knew that I had cultivated a good relationship with my readers when I received an email that read, “Can you please start selling things so I can buy them.”

7) To Give Another Offer For A Sale
Many times after I have given something away for free I will then offer something for sales. Because of the law of reciprocity people are going to feel compelled to listen to your pitch because you have just given them something for free.

8) To Get Information
In March I did a comprehensive survey of my readers. I learned some amazing things. I received a lot of great article topics and realized a number of areas that I could be serving with my work. This article series you are reading right now is based on the fact I had some many readers ask for practice building ideas and information. Basically, I traded digital goods and free sessions for valuable information.

Conclusion
Every choice you make should be made for a reason. The more mindful we are of our choices the more likely we are going to find success. When you are giving things away for free do it for a reason. In part 1b of this series I will explain the types of products, services, and information that you can give away for free.

Note: Gene enjoys helping new practitioners build their practice and current practitioners grown there practice. Let Gene know if you would like to chat about how he could help your practice today. (And yes, the consultation is free)]

Pod #36: Questions and Answers About Tapping

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Gene host's a radio program every other Tuesday @ Emotional Freedom Techniques Community Radio. In the most recent show Gene answered questions from beginners and practitioners alike from all over the world.

This week Gene answered:

  • Will tapping right before bed keep you up?
  • Is it possible to tap for things that happen that our subconscious mind is perceiving, but our conscious mind is not?
  • How do I tap for seasonal allergies?
  • How do I tap for Male Pattern Baldness?
  • How do I tap for weight loss?

Important Links:

Being Able To Receive

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There are a number of goals I would like to achieve, but I feel like there is so much to do. I would like to ask others for help, but I am having a really hard time asking. Is there a way I can use Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping to help with this issue?


photo by Marcin Moga

I have always had really hard time receiving things. I was raised to work hard, do everything I can, and be self-reliant. I have always wanted to be successful. I have felt that when I needed help it meant that I weak or not good enough.

At the other end other end of the spectrum I also don't want my actions or efforts to be noticed. I don't like when others make a big deal of my work. For the longest time I had a very hard time taking a complement. I would defuse it and turn it into a joke.

Recently Deborah Miller, PhD (FindTheLightWithin.com) wrote a great tapping sequence on getting better at receiving. It is reprinted below with permission.

RECEIVING

Do you say you want something but complain when you don't get it? Do you really believe you can have what you desire? Or do you doubt it, or believe others can get what they desire but not you? Do you stop yourself from receiving what you desire even when it's being offered to you? Do you truly know how to receive?

Most of us have not learned how to “receive” gracefully. We've been taught things like: I must accept what there is, it's greedy to “want” things, others are suffering so I should be satisfied with what I have, or it is better to give than to receive. None of these beliefs helps us learn how to ask for and receive what we desire.

Let's do some tapping to open ourselves to gracefully receive: help, support, finances, time, energy, health, work, money, and especially love.

Even though I was taught it isn't ok to receive, because it is better to give than receive, I love myself completely and profoundly.

Even though I was taught that it wasn't ok to ask for things, or that I had to wait until someone choose to give me something, I love and accept myself profoundly.

Even though I would like to receive, I don't know how. I feel uncomfortable. I'm still a great lady (or guy).

Eyebrow: I can't receive. It's not ok to get things. I'm supposed to give things.

Side of Eye: I can't accept anything, not even something as simple as a compliment without having to shrug it off or feel uncomfortable, much less say “Thank You!”

Under the Eye: I want to receive but I'm not even sure what I want to receive so how can I receive it?

Under the Nose: I say I want this or that, but I'm saying I'd like that “thing” because it is an object I can identify.

Chin: I say I'd like to receive “objects” when deep down what I'd really like to receive is tenderness, kindness, respect, time, hugs, quality time with the people I love, and most of all love.

Collarbone: I'd like to receive respect, honest responses and encouragement from those I love, and from those who work with me.

Under the Arm: I'd also like to receive the physical objects and comforts that would make my life feel luscious and rich, which in turn allows me to give to those I love.

Top of Head: How could I receive when I didn't know what I really wanted? How could I receive when I didn't feel I deserved what I want?

Eyebrow: Now that I've identified what I'd like to receive, I choose to release any resistance I have to receiving. Aahhh! Now I can begin to receive.

Side of Eye: I learn to receive step by step. I listen to the compliments I receive and simply say “thank you!”. I learn to receive by rejoicing in all the things I receive that make me happy.

Under the Eye: It puts me in the right frame of mind and it opens my heart to receive deeply. It is my divine right to receive.

Under the Nose: Receiving is a blessing to those who want to give to me. Allowing them to give to me is allowing them to give from their heart. That is receiving and giving all at once.

Chin: I receive because it feels so good to do so. I receive because I love how happy it makes those who want to give so lovingly to me.

Collarbone: I rejoice in my ability to receive from my heart, and in turn give openly and gracefully.

Under the Arm: What a beautiful cycle it creates: first receiving from an open and loving heart, and then with a heart wide open give love.

Top of Head: I am so happy to receive; receive my divine gifts of time, energy, playfulness, joy, laughter, delight, even the things I desire, but especially love. Love is the best gift to receive. I receive love now.

Pod #35: Improving Performance or Learning with Tapping w/ Jared Tendler

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Our ability to be successful with any task is not dependent just on our skill set, but also our mental frame of mind before, during, and after we take action. This frame of mind can impact not only our ability but also how we learn new tasks and improve our skill. In this podcast I talk to Jared Tendler. Jared works with golfers and poker players around their mindset and frame of mind. Both of these games are great for looking at how our mindset affects us because of the immediate feedback we get from each choice. In this interview Jared talks about many different ways we can look at our mental outlook and how it relates to choice. The experienced tapper will see right away how to combine these mindset approaches with our Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping.

This interview is packed with information. There are times when I finish an interview and am just blown away by what I have learned, and this is one of those instances. I recommend listening to the podcast a few times and doing with a pen and paper to hand.

 

Jared Tendler

Guest: Jared Tendler

Contact: web @ JaredTendlerGolf.com; web @ JaredTendlerPoker.com; e-mail @ contact; Phone @ (480) 240-8983

About Jared: Jared Tendler, MS, LMHC, is the leading expert in the mental game poker without being a player himself. He has coached over 350 poker players hailing from 40 countries, including several of the top poker players in the world. He is also the author of two best-selling books, The Mental Game of Poker 1 & 2.

Prior to becoming the leading expert in poker, Jared was a mental game coach for golfers. His interest in golf psychology was born from his own mental game issues. Jared played collegiate golf for Skidmore College, where he was a three-time All-American and won nine tournaments. But he was continually choking in major national events.

Driven to find answers, he got a Master’s degree in psychology and became a licensed therapist to solve the problems conventional golf psychology couldn’t. In 2005, he began working with golfers and coached players on the LPGA, PGA and Nationwide Tour, top-ranked juniors, and serious amateurs. In 2007, after coaching a former professional golfer turned poker player, Jared began translating his practical and straightforward approach to poker. Seven years later, his methods have proven to help players of varying abilities, from top professionals to beginners.

Links From Is Podcast:

  • Jared's book Mental Game Strategy

Pod #34: Using NLP Logical Levels w/ Wil Horton

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In a number of Gary Craig's original EFT DVDs he talked about how helpful knowing and understanding NLP concepts are. I can speak from my own experience at how valuable these principles, concepts, and techniques are when working with clients or doing self-work. In this pod I interview the National Foundation Of Neuro Linguistic Programming founder Dr. Wil Horton. In this interview we talk about the different logical levels of change. When we recognize all of the different levels in which change can happen at it can speed the healing process as well as identify the places we need to do extra work.


Dr. Wil Horton

Guest: Dr. Wil Horton

Contact: web @ NFNLP.com; Phone @ (941) 408-8551

About Wil: William D. Horton, Psy. D., CADC, is a licensed Psychologist, an alcohol and drug counselor, a Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming, a Certified Hypnotherapist and trained through the Red Cross program for Critical Incident Stress Debriefing. He has been trained in crisis/hostage negotiation by the FBI at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA, and also recently taught at an FBI Lead Crisis Negotiation Course. A veteran of the Army and Naval Reserve, Dr. Horton is considered one of the leading experts in subconscious communications.

He is the founder of the National Federation of Neurolinguistic Psychology, NFNLP, one of the fastest growing organizations for NLPers in the world. NFNLP serves as a network for professionals who use NLP to share experiences, new techniques and applications, and other useful information from their fields of expertise. NFNLP and Dr. Horton have changed the face of NLP forever. It is NLP for the 21st Century!

Finding the Words To Use – Quick Tip

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I love this tip. This is an easy, straight forward way of coming up with phrases by Tania A. Prince. I would encourage you to check out her web site http://www.eft-courses.co.uk/ as well as the interview we did earlier this year (Getting To The Root Of A Current Issue).

* * *

For many people knowing which words to tap on is a major block that can stop them in their tracks when they think about using EFT.

One of the easiest ways to identify the words to tap on is to ask yourself, “how do I know that I have this problem?”

Do I have a feeling attached to it? If so, what is it, where is it, what quality does it have? ( For example is it heavy, light, moving, still etc)

How intense is the feeling now? (This is important so that you can keep a check on the progress that you are making)

What did I think to get that feeling?

Once you have this information you can set the EFT up as follows:

Karate Point: “So even though I have this (describe the feeling) in my (location of feeling) when I think about (describe what you thought about), I completely and totally love and approve of myself”.

Karate Point: “So even though I have this (describe the feeling) in my (location of feeling) when I think about (describe what you thought about), I completely and totally love and approve of myself”.

Karate Point: “So even though I have this (describe the feeling) in my (location of feeling) when I think about (describe what you thought about) I completely and totally love and approve of myself”.

Eye Brow Point: “this (describe the feeling)”

Side of the Eye Point: “in my (location of feeling)”

Under the Eye Point: “when I think about (describe what you thought about)”

Under the Nose Point: “this (describe the feeling)”

Chin Point: “in my (location of feeling)”

Collar Bone Point: “when I think about (describe what you thought about)”

Under the Arm Point: “this (describe the feeling)”

(This is the EFT Shortened tapping sequence- it differs from the original Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping sequence as it does not use the finger tapping points)

Now check how intense the feeling is and keep tapping until the intensity goes to zero. You may need to modify the words that you use to describe the feeling as you go along as these can change.

Pod #33: Two Keys To A Thriving Practice w/ Carol Look

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As time passes I am increasingly working with clients on building their own practices. There is a real feeling of “try it on everything” in the Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping community but as we move from helping our friends with headaches and cravings for chocolate to working with clients, we need more than just a willing spirit. In this interview EFT Master Carol Look speaks frankly about two key issues to keep in mind when you are starting a practice.
[Read more…] about Pod #33: Two Keys To A Thriving Practice w/ Carol Look

People Might Not Like It When We Change

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I have been using tapping for the last six months and love the results. One thing I have noticed is that my family is not excited about my change at all. Some of the members of my family even resent it. Is this common and is there anything I can do about it?


photo by Jeremy Brooks

At first I was amazed at the number of times that I heard stories like these from my clients. As time has passed I have come to realize that not only is this a common occurrence, but it is something that makes a great deal of sense.

Every relationship that we have is a co-creation. Inside of this relationship there is an exchange of some sort. What I provide to the relationship is different from what my friend is providing and that is great. It wouldn't be a great deal of fun to have every relationship be exactly the same from each side. If that were the case every relationship we have would just be in relationship with ourselves.

For example, in the teacher/student relationship the teacher is getting a chance to share wisdom and knowledge and the student is getting a chance to learn. In a marriage the wife might be the encouragement to help the husband peruse bigger things and the husband might be the calming force in the wife's life.

[Note: I have a feeling the way I am talking about relationships might not be sitting well with you. This might seem like it is too much of a transaction and less of a loving relationship. I agree I am talking about relationships is very base terms here. I am only speaking in this way to understand why others struggle when we change.]

Every relationship not matter how big or small there is a give and take. Even if it is in very subtle small ways there is an exchange. In most cases is it not a clear cut set of roles and in most cases we don't even think about it.

When we change we change the basic nature of many of the relationships that we have. For example when the student has learned enough they are going to move on from the teacher. This is not a dismissal of the teacher or the teacher's knowledge, but an acknowledgement the dynamic of the relationship is now different. In some cases the relationship ends while other times the nature of the relationship changes as they be come peers.

On change is not preferable to another. It is just a nature of relationship. Each relationship has it own time and season. Some people pass through our live briefly, other pass in and out and back in again, while still others just keep changing and evolving with time.

As we are going through change work, cleaning out the wounds from the past, and evolving into more complete people the relationships in our lives are going to change. Because we are different people we are going to need different things and we are going to provide different things from our relationships.

Let's look at an extreme example. That's say we start this process we a very low sense of self esteem. Because of this we let a number of our family members walk all over us and take advantage of us because we are not willing to stick up for ourselves. When they take advantage (and may times this is happening subconsciously) they are able to get us to tasks they don't want to do or they might get to feel better by putting us down.

After working with a practitioner a number of times we have been able to improve our self esteem to the point that we are willing to stand up for ourselves and we are no longer allowing ourselves to be talked into doing tasks for our family members when we don't what to.

It is very easy to see how our family members (again in a subconscious way) would not like the fact that we have made this change because they are no longer getting us to do stuff for them and they are loosing a chance to feel superior.

Most of the change we are going to go through is not going to be this dramatic, but every change we make is going to change the way we interact with the world, therefore causing the expectations of the people in our life to no longer be met.

All of this happens in a very subconscious way. Our loved ones are not thinking to themselves “You have changed and your are no longer giving me what I want out of this relationship.” Instead they are simply noticing their needs are no longer being met and therefore they are going to be angry.

What I have just explained here is a major piece of resistance many people have to making change in their life. They have made small changes in the past that they have felt the backlash from their loved ones. Because this has happened in a subconscious way they are going to prevent change in the future because they don't want to deal with this again.

There are good reasons to not change in this moment. How your loved ones are going to react to that change in most cases is not a good one.

You are worthy of change. The way they choose to react to that change is their choice. It is not your responsibility. They are responsible for their emotional state.

I share this information for two reasons. First, it is good to notice if you are preventing yourself form changing because you fear how others will react to the change. Second, it is helpful to be able to name why people are so resistant to your change. It will help you not to take is personally, but instead see that they are struggling with their own emotions and it is not something you are responsible for.

Here is some tapping you can do around this issue:

I know I want to change…I am worthy to evolve…I want my life to be richer…I want to be healthier…I want to be whole…I understand that there are people in my life who don't want me to change…they might say they want me to change…they might even believe they want me to change…but on a subconscious level there is a part of them that wants me to stay the way I am…because when I stay the way I am they don't have to make any changes to their life…therefore some of them are going to fight the changes I am making…and they are going to be angry at me for making those changes…I don't want to cause pain in other people's live…but that is NOT what I am doing here…the people in my life are responsible for their own emotional state…they are the ones who are creating that…I am worthy of change…I am not going to stop my change because it makes others uncomfortable…my evolution is too important…I give myself to permission to change…in my change I might even provide a model for those in my life that they can change too…I am not responsible for my loved ones emotional state…I am responsible to my true authentic self.

The Reason For The Weight (9 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 9 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Wilson Bilkovich

The extra weight exists on the body for two basic reasons. The first is the most obvious. When the body takes in too many calories and the system can't burn them fast enough we hold the energy as fat in the body to be used at a later date. There two basic steps to dealing with this sort of weight: regulating the caloric intake (type and amount) and maintain the body in such a fashion that it is more efficient in burning calories.

This is why I think it is very important that if you are choosing to go through a weight release program that you are receiving proper exercise and nutrition advice that meets your needs based on age, body type, body condition, and disposition. I firmly believe to improving the bodies health it is both/and proposition. We need to take care of the emotional issues as well as the physical issues.

Please seek guidance and information for a trained and reputable source.

The second reason the body won't release weight is because the weight is serving a very particular function. I have clients who have changed their diet and exercise only to have their physical body not release any weight. As we have talked about in a number of the articles in this series, if the body thinks something is useful it is not going to change. The body's only goal is to do what it thinks is best. Often times when we are holding weight it is because if believes the weight is serving us.

For a detailed examination of some of the specific reasons weight is held in particular parts of the body please see Weight and Emotion.

Even when we have an idea of why the body thinks the weight is useful (based on information from region of the body it is held or some other belief) I find it best to ask the system why the weight is there and what purpose it is serving.

When I am doing weight release work with clients this is one of the first things that we will do. The process is very simple. I would encourage you to tap from point to point as you are doing this process.

1) Ground Your Self
To begin with take a few deep breaths and just tune into your physical body. Because we live much less labor intensive lives from previous generations we are much less in touch with our body. Hours can past without giving our body any conscious thought. Feel yourself in your body.

2) Give Thanks To Your Body
Our bodies are really amazing things. It is a community of over 3 trillion cells working harmony. So much is happening at every moment from digestion to circulation, new parts are being built while others are being repaired, and intruders and harmful elements are being eliminated. All of this happens without us thinking, but all of these functions are necessary for us to do all of the things we enjoy in life.

Revel in the amazing system that your body is. Give thanks for all it does. Pay attention to how your body responds to this affirmation. It will surprise you.

3) Tune Into The Weight
In the same way that you tuned into your full body, do the same thing for the extra weight you have not released. Simply notice where it is and how it feels.

4) Give Thanks For The Weight
Remember, the body thinks the weight is necessary and is holding it for a very specific purpose. We might be happy with the outcome and it might be holding for a reason that isn't helpful, but the fact that the body is trying to do its best for us is good to recognize. We are not thanking the weight for its tactic and we are not thanking the weight for the outcome. We are thanking it for trying to do its best for us. You might tap on something like this:

I know this extra weight is not healthy for me…and I know I would like to release this weight…but I want to give my body thanks for trying to keep me safe and healthy…the body believes this weight is serving a purpose…and is only holding the weight for good reason…this weight is nothing more than energy…all matter is nothing more than energy…that is being held is a solid state…the body must be working really hard…if it is able to hold that much energy…in a solid state…it must be working really hard…because it thinks it is doing the best for me…I am thankful it is willing to work so hard…even if the outcome isn't what I want…I believe I can transform this powerful force in to a new tactic…that will produce an outcome that is helpful to me.

Pay attention to how the weight responds to this. Again, it will be surprising

5) Ask The Weight Why It Is There
It is that simple, just ask. If it gives you an answer you don't understand just ask a follow up question. Here is a list of reasons I have heard from clients.

  • If you are fat you won't attract unwanted attention.
  • If you are attractive they are going to want to get to know you, only to be let down by who you really are.
  • If you lose weight you will move forward to quickly.
  • If you lose weight your family will think you think you are better than them.
  • People always steal your energy and emotion. This is to protect you from the emotional vampire.

That is a very incomplete list, but it gives you an idea of what might come up. This information will give you insight into the emotional roots preventing the weight release, giving you lots of fodder for your tapping sessions.

6) What If You Get No Information Back?
That is okay. If you get no information back tap on something like this:

It is okay that the system didn't give me any information about why the weight is there…I know there are lots of ways to get to the roots of the weight issue…and I can even heal this problem without ever know what the roots are…maybe the body is keeping me safe from information that I don't need right now…either way I am happy my body is trying to take care of me…I have confidence we will work this out.

When tapping like this one of two things will happen. First, the system might just give up the information the way a 5 year old gives up a toy once you show no interest in it. Second, you might not get any information but you are going to be comfortable in know they process has begun and can rest in the peace of that thought.

In part 10 of this series we will look at how we can use tapping to regulate body functions.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #32: Questions and Answers About Tapping

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Gene host's a radio program every other Tuesday @ Emotional Freedom Techniques Community Radio. In the most recent show Gene answered questions from beginners and practitioners alike from all over the world.

This week Gene answered:

Have been tapping for an issue that has been with me for a while. I am making great progress, but when I tap all sorts of thoughts, memories, and emotions come to mind. All of this information is overwhelming. What do I do with it all?

I am new to Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping. Should I be saying the phrases out loud or is it okey to say them in my head? To be honest I feel a little silly saying them out loud.

I had a client come in for a issue that they were sure they knew the root cause of, but when they tuned in to the past memory that was causing this issue there is no emotional charge. What should I do?

I have a client who has been diagnosed with clinical depression. Where should I start?

How do you deal with naysayers?

Do we need to tap every issue down to 0?

I have been dealing with the emotions of a break-up for months now and feel like I have tried everything. As some one who deal with this a lot I am hoping you have a trick I haven't tried. What should I do?

It hurts when I tap on some of the spots but I want relief. Should I keep tapping?

Important Links:

Teaching Others How To Tap

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I want to share Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping with my friends and family and I would even like to teach workshops on tapping, but I don't know where to begin. Do you have any suggestions on how to teach tapping to others?


photo by freeparking

Over the last four years I have taught tapping in formal and informal settings. Here are a few tips that I have learned from my successes and failures.

Don't Oversell Tapping, Undersell It
It is really easy to be excited about all the wonderful things that tapping can do. In addition to hearing the many stories of one-minute miracles, many of us have very profound personal stories to tell about tapping. I think we can do our teaching a real disservice by building up expectation of our students too high.

I have found in the beginning it is best to under sell how successful tapping can be. If you ever run in to a situation where it isn't working perfectly it can still look like a success.

For example, when asked “Will tapping work on (insert issue)?” you can respond, “It might, I know some people have had success with that type of issue.”

Or, when asked, “How often is tapping successful?” you can respond, “People have seen some level of relief in just a few minutes of tapping as much as half of the time?”

We know for our experience that the success rate is much higher than that, but this help to create a more forgiving audience if it doesn't work out the first time. By approaching it is this way you are giving yourself some room to have different degrees of success right off the bat.

Their Idea of Success
When teaching someone tapping it is important to keep in mind of what their idea of success is going to be, especially when you are teaching someone who is in pain at that moment. As noted before, if you are teaching tapping it is because you have seen its power. The people we are teaching in most cases have no idea what tapping is capable of doing.

I learned this lesson while sitting in a coffee shop in Costa Rica. I was reading when a group of travelers came and sat down. As we chatted I found out that they had just gotten off the zip lines and one of them was have real problems with his back.

I said, “I have something funky that might help.” And off we went.

He tuned into the level of pain at a 5. We did a round of tapping and I asked, “So, what is the pain level now?”

He responded, “It is at a 4.”

My heart fell. That is pathetic. The pain should be gone.

BUT, as my thoughts we going to despair everyone in his group, almost as if they were a chorus, said “WOW!”

After a moment of pause I realized that really was a wow. A total stranger in a coffee shop with no drugs of any sort in under 60 seconds just helped to remove 20% of the physical pain.

One minute wonders are great to talk about, but when people first being introduced to tapping it is okay is we also talk in term of smaller results because they can still be amazing.

Everything Is Perfect
One of the things I have learned from my hypnosis training is to recognize everything as perfect. This is particularly important in hypnosis because building repore with a client is very important. If they start to doubt you or the process then progress is going to be likely lost. As a hypnotist, regardless what happens, you act as if it is not a surprise to keep your repore with the client.

The nice thing about tapping is that it is mechanical. It works whether the client believes it or not, but it is still important to have the person trying tapping for the first time engaged so that they can stay tuned into their issues (which is required for success).

It is important to keep in mind that every round of tapping is successful. It might not be a round that leads to relief, but it does provide information.

For example the intensity might stay at the same level. This is just letting us know that there is something else we need to be more successful (clear PR, be more specific, drink water). The level might go up letting us know we are more tuned into the issue than before.

When I am checking in with someone after a round of tapping I say something like, “Did the intensity go up, stay the same, or go down?” By asking the question in this fashion I am setting it up so there is no failure, just information.

If you would like more ideas on this topic check out Feedback – What We Can Learn From Each Round of Tapping

Start Simple
When teaching someone how to do tapping for the first time it is best to get them to experience some level of success that we can build upon. To do this I recommend to start with something that is simple. Introducing someone to tapping through a major childhood trauma might be hard.

For physical symptoms I simply say, “Scan your body right now and I want to you to notice any aches or pains. I want to you to find one of the places that has the highest level of stress, strain, or pain, but I don't want you to choose something that is chronic.”

The last part of that set up is important. Often time when we are dealing with a pain that has been present for a long time it might be associated with deeper emotional roots. Tapping is prefect for these cases and it is great to go after the emotional roots in a client session, but as a first time teaching tool it might be too much.

To demonstrate tapping for emotional issues I ask them to, “I want you to think of a moment in the last few days in which you had a disproportionate emotional response to some event. You know what I mean by disproportionate? Right?”

Not only does this usually get a smile it will direct them to something that is very close to the surface. This is make it easier for them to tune into the emotion (opposed to something that is years or decades old.)

Remember, the goal is just to get them use to the idea of tapping. Small successes are enough to do this for someone who has never experienced the power of tapping.

You Might Be Planting Seeds (and that is enough)
There are people who are going to listen to your presentation or demonstration and just walk away with a closed mind.

BUT, the next time they hear about tapping their mind is going to be a little more open. When we hear about something odd once we question it, but the more places we hear about something the more believable it becomes.

Your demonstration of tapping might be sowing the seeds to more open mind. If you just plant a few seeds in someone mind you have done good work.

You Are Not The Right Teacher For Everyone
Every teacher has their own teaching style and every student has their own learning style. Their are people that you are the perfect voice to teach tapping to them and there are others who in a million years would not listen to you.

I became much more comfortable with my web site when I realized I didn't need to be all things to all people. Some are going to find my resources helpful whiles are not.

There are enough people in the world who could use tapping in their life that if one person (or a group of people) don't listen to me it is okay because there are many more to teach.

You are not the right teach for every person you encounter and that is okay.

It Is OK If They Don't Accept It
Tapping is not right for everyone. If someone isn't willing to be open to what you are offering that is perfectly okay. When someone doesn't want to learn they are making a choice about what they think is needed (or not needed) in their life. This is not a judgment on tapping, on your teaching style, or on you.

Even When Working With A Group Just Start With A Few People
Presenting in front of a large group is not comfortable for some people. If you are in this camp then I would recommend when teaching tapping and doing a demonstration do it for a small group and have everyone else watch.

What I mean by this is get a group of three or four people up front with you and teach them tapping and do a few demonstrations. If you are not comfortable in front of a large group you are more than likely comfortable in front of a few people. All you need to do is create this dynamic by getting a few volunteers.

It is important that when you are selecting volunteers you do this in a way that is going to give you good demonstration subjects. I would do it something like this:

“I just a moment I am going to teach you how to do tapping to deal with physical pain and emotional issues. To do this I am going to need a few volunteers to demonstrate and teach. Those who volunteer will be given a first hand experience of tapping, just like working with a practitioner. If you do volunteer your going to need to be willing to talk about the issue you would like to tap for, like the pain in your knee or being frustrated with a co-worker, so that everyone can learn for the processes. I am not going to ask anything too personal, such as the name of the person you are frustrated with, but it is import that you are willing to talk, at least in general terms, about what we are going to work on.”

If you do something like this before you ask for volunteers you are going to help to insure you are going to work with someone willing to talk and will be more likely to avoid a deep trauma issue. Again, tapping is great for these types of issues, but they are not always ideal as a teaching tool, especially if you are not use to teaching tapping to groups.

Conclusion
I hope these tips are helpful in making it easier for you to teach tapping. If you have some suggestions I missed, I would encourage you to add them to the comments below.

Self-Sabotage – Why We Don’t Tap When We Know It Works (8 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 8 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Ennor (Barry)

There are times when I drive the people in my life crazy. They will be complaining about something that isn't going well in their life and I will ask (out of curiosity and not condemnation), “Did you tap on it?”

Most of the time, if the issue is still bothering them, the answer is yes. Sometime they say they forgot. Other times they didn't think it would work. While still other times they just chose not to tap.

I can relate. There are lots of times in my own life where tapping would make a huge difference, but I just don't do it. There are of a number of reasons why we don't tap. I hear it from my weight release clients all the time. “I know I should be tapping, but for some reason I just don't get to it.”

Here are four of the most common reasons why we don't tap when we want to.

Fear Of Trying And Failing
The single most common reason for us to resist trying is the simple fear of failure. We don't want to step out and look foolish. Part of us recognizes that it just feels safer not to try. If we don't try we don't have to deal with all of the negatives that come with failure. We won't tap because we don't want to be the one person (in our mind) that tried tapping for this issue and failed.

There is a possibility that I am not going to succeed on this attempt…and that is a little bit scary…no one likes to fail…even when no one else is watching…it is not fun to fail…because when I fail at one thing…it feels like it is speaking to my total person…and my total life…if I am failing at one thing…it must mean that I am a failure…but this is not the case…if I fail at this…then I have failed at this…it does not mean that I am failure…and it does not mean that I don't get to try again…I have failed at things in the past…and have gotten over it…I have failed in the past and learned from those mistakes…I have failed in the past and survived…many times stronger than before…by acknowledging that I might fail…and acknowledging that I might fail again…is not a free pass not to try…this is not an excuse not to put forth effort…but it is to say that I can move forward…I can try…I can learn…and I can survive no matter the out come…I have failed in the past…and I will fail in the future…but this does not mean that I am going to stay in the same place…I give myself permission to try…I myself permission to fail…it is important that I try to move forward…by trying to move forward I am giving myself an opportunity for success…and giving myself an opportunity to grow…

Back Sliding
Another common reasons that my clients' site for not wanting to try tapping is that they are afraid to make progress, reaching some level of success, only to back slide to where they once were. Most of the time this belief is fed by past experiences. This is particularly true with weight release. We can do a great deal of work to release the weight only to have it creep back a little at a time.

I am worried about making progress…I am afraid that I am going to succeed for a little while…and then I am going to back slide into my old ways…I am worried about this for a number of reasons…I am worried that by making progress every one is going to notice…and then they are going to notice that I have lost all that progress…and I am going to look like a failure…if I don't change…they won't notice me…by taking a step forward…and a step back…they are going to see the fact that I am failing at my goal…I am also going to worry that it is going to be wasted energy…that I am going to put all this work in…only to lose it all…then it will be a big waste of time…and energy…also I hate back sliding because it is so frustrating…I get my hopes up when I see progress…only to fail…that takes an emotional toll…but I choose to know that even though back sliding is a possibility…it is also a possibility that I am not going to fail…this time might be different…also if I do back slide it is going to mean that things were better for a while…because I can't back slide without progress…I also know that I am going to learn about myself as I heal this part of my life…even if I back slide it is going to give me the chance to move forward next time in an easier fashion…this is about progress…and becoming who I want to be…it is okey to do this as a process…sometimes that process involves back sliding…I am going to keep pressing on…because I am going to get past the back sliding

Fear Of The Penalty of Success
Sometimes, and I know this can be hard to believe, there are times a part of our personality can believe that it is going to be a burden for us to succeed. If we succeed people are going to expect more things from us. If we succeed we are going to have to work harder to maintain this level of success. If we succeed we are not going to be satisfied and only want more. The last thing the system want is success to lead to more work. It is easier to not succeed than have to deal with more work.

I am worried that if I succeed people are going to see my success…they are going to see what I am capable of doing…and they are going to expect more…by showing them what I am capable of doing…even if it is a great deal of work…they are going to want me to reach higher and higher levels in the future…I don't want to add that burden…also I am worried about the amount of work it is going to require to maintain that level of success…I know the goal is going to take work…and I am afraid that it is going to require way to much for me to keep this level of success up…I know I want to improve…but the amount of work it might take to maintain that level of success is daunting…I am also worried that if I get some success it is not going to be enough…that I am going to want better and better…that my hopes and dreams are going to grow out of control…that I am going to expect more in my life than is possible…creating a situation where I am never going to be satisfied…I am worried that I am just wetting my appetite for something that I could never receive…but I choose to know…that I am worthy of success…that when I succeed my life is going to be different…that there are going to be new ways that I see myself…there are going to be new ways that others see me…there are going to be new ways in which I see the world…I know change me different…and I can't fully know what success means…but I do know I long for transformation in my life…I can handle what ever comes with change…even if there is challenge…it is going to be better that my current situation…I can move forward…I give myself permission to move forward…it is safe for me to be successful.

The System Doesn't Want To Lose A Key Protection
This is by far the subtlest of all the reasons that we sabotage ourselves. In this situation our system starts to recognize that tapping is a very useful tool. It believes that it is going to take our coping mechanisms away.

This is easier to understand with an example.

I have a friend, “James”, whom I have done work with a number of times. Where were speaking at an event together and it came to light that he has some obsessive-compulsive tendencies (ex. needing to turn around three times after being touched in a certain way). It is not a big deal and James is very light hearted about it. I told him during the next break we could work on that. He got very pale and started backing away saying, “Noooo…..”

His response was not a surprise. What is happening to James when he is touched a pressure builds up inside of him. When he spins around three times he is able to release that pressure. When I said, “Would you like to do some work on that?” he heard, “Would you like to get rid of spinning around three time or your pressure release valve.” In his mind he thought I was offering to get rid of the action of spinning around. Even though that is a silly action, it is something that serves him. Of course he didn't want to lose that because then he would be left with the built up pressure.

In reality what I was offering was to take away the pressure so the release valve wasn't needed. The exact same thing can happen to our system. Let's pretend that I use chocolate as my comfort food. My system knows that whenever I am in a bad mood the chocolate is going to mask it. The system also knows that tapping can get rid of cravings. The system can understand this in the same way James understood my offer. If I lose the craving I am going to lose the tool to eliminate the emotional pain.

This is not the case when we are tapping. When we are working on cravings we are working the emotions that need the cravings to medicate the emotions, but it is very easy to see how the system would misunderstand this and talk us out of doing the tapping that would be helpful.

There is a part of my that is afraid to do tapping…it believes that if I tap I am going to lose the tools I need to get through the day…but I know that when I am tapping…I am dealing with the root causes…I am not getting rid of any of the tools that make my day manageable…instead I am doing the work on the root issue…by dealing with the root issue I don't need to call on the tools…in this way I am changing my choices…in this way I am transforming my life…I am not leaving m self without the resources I need…but making it easier to make better choices…for this reason…it is safe for me to heal…it is safe for me to move forward.

Go After These Reasons
Simply recognizing the reasons we self sabotage ourselves is not enough. We need to go after these issues. And these are often not one-time issues. I would recommend spending a little time at the beginning of each tapping sessions going after one (or all) of these issues. The more work we do on our self sabotaging behaviors the fast we are going to see progress towards all of our goals, not just our weight release goals.

In part 9 of this series we will look at some of the reasons the system is holding onto the weight in the first place.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Fear of Loving and Being Loved

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I know I would like to have deeper loving relationships in my life, but for some reason I keep self-sabotaging. Is there a reason I might be doing this and is there a way to us Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping to deal with it?

Often times self-sabotage is rooted in the fear of being successful and who would come with us being successful. Right before Valentines Day Deborah D. Miller, PhD
(FindTheLightWithin.com) wrote a great article on this topic. Here is the article shared here with permission.

There is a secret about human love that is commonly overlooked: Receiving it is much more scary and threatening than giving it. How many times in your life have you been unable to let in someone's love or even pushed it away? Much as we proclaim the wish to be truly loved, we are often afraid of that, and so find it difficult to open to love or let it all the way in. ~ John Welwood

We are fast approaching Valentine's Day, that day that reminds of love, of whether we are in a happy and loving relationship or not in one. With it can come to the surface our fears about being loved and giving love. It can remind of us feeling lonely and isolated – again when in or not in a relationship. It can remind us that love is fabulous but also requires that we are vulnerable. That is something most of us don't like to feel.

Do you have to feel vulnerable to be loved? Does it have to be scary to love someone? Do you have to feel insecure about your loved ones?

Of course not. Love can be open, honest, delightful, and a deep sharing. It can. It starts with self-love. As you love yourself you will automatically open to being loved. More people will love who you are. More people will love you as you are. Doesn't that feel great?

How does one get to the place of feeling so secure and safe in their own love that they can give and receive love opening? Let's do some tapping to create just that feeling of love inside of you.

FEAR OF LOVING AND BEING LOVED

Even though I desire to be loved and accepted as I am, I'm afraid of what that would mean if I really got it. I choose to love myself anyway.

Even though I've learned that love is not safe, that opening up to someone means being vulnerable and unsafe, I love that I can see how love starts within me. I create safety by loving myself.

Even though it is not safe to give my love because I can't be assured that it will be returned, and feels really scary, best to run the other way, or not open up or just ignore the opportunity, I love myself because I'm just trying to protect myself.

Eyebrow:
I feel threatened and scared when I think about receiving love.

Side of Eye:
What if I invest all that time, energy and love and it's not returned? What if I'm scorned or found not to be good enough?

Under the Eye:
What if I'm abandoned again? What if I feel unworthy again?

Under the Nose:
What if I surrender to love and it doesn't work out? Will I be hurt and sad again? Will I have more wounds?

Chin:
How will I ever know love if I don't open up to it? How can someone love me if I'm closed down and afraid of being hurt?

Collarbone:
How will I ever create love if I am not willing to open up and receive love and give love?

Under the Arm:
I choose to begin by loving and accepting myself more, by being open to look at my vulnerabilities.

Top of Head:
I choose to smile and hold myself with compassion as I look at old hurts and patterns. That allows me to release them.

Eyebrow:
I choose to observe my patterns in love with gentleness so that I can identify them, modify them and begin to love in a healthier fashion.

Side of Eye:
That feels so good. It feels good to allow myself to be vulnerable with myself. It shows me that it is ok and that I will survive.

Under the Eye:
Loving myself even with my vulnerabilities allows me to love others as they are – with their vulnerabilities and fears.

Under the Nose:
Loving in this open accepting way allows me and those I love to share deeply.

Chin:
It feels so good to love myself, be open to love, to share my love, and to know that as I feel good about myself love comes to me easily.

Collarbone:
Loving includes trusting and surrendering to the process, to the journey of love.

Under the Arm:
A part of loving includes allowing someone to give to me. Scary as that may be, I would like to receive that love.

Top of Head:
Scary as it may be to give love not knowing if it will be returned, love is always returned. It may not be from the object or person I'm giving my love too but love given out always returns to me. That is how love works – give love and then you receive love.

Pod #31: Using NLP with Tapping

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Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a powerful tool and can help you to understand where you are standing and help you to make choices to transform your life. NLP and EFT/Tapping are a match made in heaven. More than likely you are already using NLP techniques and don’t even know it.

What people are saying about the NLP 4 part class:

“I was taking notes but couldn’t get it down fast enough. That was one super-loaded-with-info hour. I loved it! What Gene said was most helpful to a few issues I’ve been working on, tapping away at, for months and not making any obvious headway. Well, already I can see a difference, in just over 24 hours.”

“Thanks so much for yesterday’s teleclass. So interesting, because it outlined points that I keep making in my work with people in study crisis. They’re often catastrophising the situation in all the ways Gene outlined. I wasn’t aware that all these logical flaws had been so carefully documented so that was very helpful. I also thought Gene was so clear and packed the hour with so much information.”

“Wow…that was an amazing call! I always learn something when I listen to you.”

Using The Ways Others Aggravate Us As A Tool To Self-Healing

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Here is a tweet that I love: @robpurdie i am the things i don't like about other people.

Sometimes this is a really hard fact to admit, but I know in my own life it is true. When I am really bent out of shape by someone else's actions it is providing me an opportunity to take a look at myself.

Here is a simple exercise that I use from time to time. I wish I could remember where I learned it form. For this activity you will need a sheet of paper divided into three columns.

1) Who are you frustrated with and why?
In the first column make a list of the people who are frustrating you and why they are frustrating:

Jane only talks about herself
Bill is always late
Sam doesn't realize how easy he has it
Jill picks on other behind their back
…

2) Write a statement of forgiveness
In the second column write a sentence that is forgiving of them.

Jane only talks about herself I forgive Jane for only talking about herself
Bill is always late I forgive Bill for always being late
Sam doesn't realize how easy he has it I forgive Sam for not realizing how easy he has it.
Jill picks on other behind their back I forgive Jill for picking on others
… …

3) Change the forgiveness statement about yourself

Jane only talks about herself I forgive Jane for only talking about herself I forgive myself for only talking about myself
Bill is always late I forgive Bill for always being late I forgive myself for being late
Sam doesn't realize how easy he has it I forgive Sam for not realizing how easy he has it. I forgive myself for not realizing how good I have it
Jill picks on other behind their I forgive Jill for picking on others I forgive myself for picking on others
… … …

4) Look at the third column for a starting point for tapping.
Each of the statements in the third column are great set-up statements. Now, each of them might not apply to you, but be honest. You might be surprised in what you discover.

Our Relationships Around Food (7 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 7 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]

photo by lfl

Much of the time we spend with loved ones food is present. It can be in the form of celebration, gift, or just mealtime with loved ones. Because food is present in so may different aspects of our relationships our relationship to food can get tangled up in our relationship to relationships.

Here are two examples:

Being Shown Love With Food
Food is literal nourishment and many times can be put into a place of metaphorical nourishment. I think the old wives tale is, “Feed a cold; starve a fever”. In my house growing up we always joked, “Feed a cold; feed a fever; feed a sprained ankle.”

When we are trying to make someone feel better, showing them sympathy for a loss, or celebrating something we show up with food. Because of this it can become very easy for us to equate food with love. The subconscious can make the connections that “Many times when there is food present people are showing me love and affections. Therefore, if I have food present I will have love and affection.”

You don't have to have a post gradate degree in logic to see how wrong that statement is, but it can create a very powerful link in the subconscious mind. When this sort of link is created the body will crave food everything time it is feeling sad or lonely. It is no surprise that we call it comfort food.

Tapping for this might look like:

I know there are many times in my life where food has been a central element…food is present when we celebrate…when we grieve…when we care for each other…food is a wonderful way to show love and affection…just because I am doing this work does not mean that I am going to stop using food as one expression of love…and it does not mean that I am going to stop accepting food as others expression of love…but food does not equal love…food is not the same as love…when I eat food I am not going to find love…love and food can be present at the same time…food can be an expression of love…food is not love…food does not equal love…it is good my system is seeking love…I need love…but I am not going to find it in food…right now I am going to speak to the part of me that thinks food equals love…thank you for wanting more love in my life…i want more love in my life as well…but I am not going to get that love by having food…there are time that when people love me they bring food…but food and love are not the same thing…right now I am going to think of three examples of what real love is…so you can see that love has many form…(tap as long as you need to as you think of these things)…thank you for trying to fill my life with love…I now ask that you help me fill my life in new ways

The Only Time We Get Together Is With Food
I grew up in a wonderful family. One of the rules in the house while growing up was that we ate dinner together. Even when my parents, my siblings, and myself we involved in school, community, church, and sporting activities we ate dinner together.

I am not sure what I thought about it at the time. I have a feeling I gave it little thought then. In hindsight it was a real blessing.

With that being said, it is very easy for the subconscious mind to take a feeling like that and twist it around. It can conclude, “If I serve a meal…then everyone will come around…and we can spend quality time together…and we will be a happy loving family.”

Again, there isn't a straight line to this logic. Just because a family is gathering around a table doesn't mean that it is doing it in a loving way. Not all families work the same way. For some families meal times were the most chaotic time because everyone had to be in the same place. By doing this we can cause two problems. First, we can be creating lots of extra meals we don't need because we are trying to create connections. Second, when those connections don't work out we can get stress or frustrated causing us to eat more.

In part 8 of this series we will look at the why we sabotage our own success.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #30: Keys For Marketing Mastery w/ Pamela Bruner

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Most of us who have private practices or want private practices want to spend our time helping our clients. We don't want to spend time marketing. Not because we don't think marketing is important, but because we aren't very good at it or even worse it is scary. In this podcast I talk to Pamela Bruner and we discover that not only do you need to be marketing for your own sake, but for your clients’ sake. We talk about the unique challenges that transformational entrepreneurs face in marketing their products and services. This is a must listen to if you have or would like your own practice.


Pamela Bruner

Guest: Pamela Bruner

Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessReal.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, facebook @ MakeYourSuccessEasy;
phone @ 888-403-4057

About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Business Success Coach, author, speaker, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) expert. After removing her own marketing fears to grow her business from $375/month to a $1,000,000 in less than 3 years, Pamela specializes in working with conscious entrepreneurs to build six-and seven-figure businesses by removing their fears and blocks around marketing and sales. She is co-author of ‘EFT and Beyond – Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation', and is the co-author of the book and DVD ‘Tapping into Ultimate Success’ with Jack Canfield, author of ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul'.

Resources from this episode:

Relationship To Food (6 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 6 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Carl Carpenter

One of the places it is easiest to emotionally beat ourselves up is over the types of foods we are eating. There are days that we can feel great because we have eaten “good” food, while other days we can be emotionally distraught be cause we ate “bad” foods.

It can be a dangerous when we build our emotional state off of the types foods that we have eaten. Part of the problem is the fact that there are no such thing as good food and bad food. Food is nothing more than nourishment and energy that the body uses to help to power and maintain the body.

Now, it is true that some foods are better at doing these jobs than others, but it is not a simple cut a dry good and bad. Consider these examples:

  • foods that are good for one functions, but not another (protein is a great source of energy and building blocks for the body, but most froms of protein take time for the body to break down and if they are eaten in the evening they hinder necessary sleep)
  • foods that are good for one person, but not for another (I love nuts, but I have friends that could die from eating them)
  • foods that are good in one portion (eating few raisins is good, but 2lbs of raisins for lunch and I am not going to be leaving the

    • bathroom for hours)

Our worth, our value, and who we are going to become is not related to the food we eat. Food is a tool. As we talked in Dealing With Mindless Eating sometimes the food is serving another function than just providing nourishment and energy, but as a way to deal with emotions. Even here, even thought it is not being used for our betterment, it is still a tool.

By taking steps to eliminate mindless eating we are going to help change our emotional state about when we are eating. In addition to that step we also do some work improving our relationship the food that we are eating when we do eat and take the emotional charge away from that experience.

The tapping might look something like:

I have to eat food…food is necessary for me to stay alive…I need it to maintain and energize my body…i am very blessed to have some many different food options in my life…I live in a time and place in which I can choose foods not only because they help my body to function…but I also can choose food based off of what I enjoy eating…sometimes I am very hard on myself because of the foods I choose to know…I know there are foods that are better for me…but I choose food that is bad for me…I recognize the fact that there is no such thing as bad food…there are foods that might not provide as much nourishment as others…there are foods that are better for me at one time than another…there are some foods that are better for me in one amount, but not another…there are even foods that my body can't process affectively and I should avoid…but none of this means that food is bad…food is not the enemy…I know I need to make good choices about the food I consume…but by understanding what food is…I am going to be less likely to be hard on myself when I eat “bad” food…my body knows the food that I need in every situation…there are times that I need fiber…or protein…or vitamins…or minerals…when I recognize that food is not the enemy…then I can trust my body to ask for the food that it needs in this moment…my body has the wisdom to ask for the needs that are needed to grown…maintain…and power the body…I give myself to trust my body to ask for the food it needs…to do this I need to be in tune with my body…which I can do…by doing this I will be more likely to eat the food the body needs for this moment in time…because this is a unique moment in time…and the body has unique needs…food is not the enemy…the goal is good choices…and I am not going to make the right choice every time…but we have a body that can handle that…I choose to see food as a tool…an enjoyable tool at times…but a tool…it is not good…or bad…food does not have a morality…there are foods that are more right for this moment…food is not bad.

In part 7 of this series we will look at our relationship to others in regard to food.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Top 9 Articles/Topics (UPDATE)

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photo by La Famille Rapp

Over the lifetime of this web site I have been keeping a very close tab on the most frequently asked questions and the most popular articles about tapping/EvEFT. Here are nine common topics, most of which are based on conversations with clients and e-mails from readers, dealing with why Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping works, what a person can expect during the healing process, and how to improve one's tapping practice. Please keep the questions coming.

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Why Do I Have To Tap?
When I share tapping with people the most common reaction is skepticism, which makes perfect sense. Based on their past experience it does seem unreasonable that tapping on their body would make more of a difference than thinking up new solutions. In this three-part series I explore why tapping is useful and often much more useful than brainstorming.

Why Do I Say Negative Phrases When Tapping?
One of the most common questions I get about tapping is about negative phrases. Clients are very worried that by focusing on the negative aspects they are going to reinforce them. When something is not right in our life we are going to focus on the negative aspects regardless because when we want better we notice what we would like to change. Tapping doesn't reinforce these ideas, but uses them for transformation.

Why Do I Have A Hard Time Sitting Down To Tap?
Sometimes our desire to improve is not enough. We can resist our transformation in powerful ways. Here are some of the common reasons that we resist making the changes we want and need, as well as strategies to get past each type of resistance.

The Process Of Healing
There is a very specific process to how we heal. It often doesn't happen all at once and when we understand this, it's easier for us to recognize the progress we have made and to plan the next step. Acknowledging this progress in particular helps to keep us motivated to do the necessary work and move forward quickly.

What Is The Deal With Surrogate Tapping?
As strange as tapping seems, surrogate tapping seems even stranger. It doesn't seem possible or reasonable that we can tap on ourself and see change in someone else. In these two resources we look at how it isn't about us changing someone else, but how we can be an agent of change. This is very powerful stuff.

Using Information For Our Body To Find Core Issues
Just because we think we know the reason for our issues DOES NOT mean that we really know the reasons for our issues. Often we are wrong because we are too close to the situation or are simply misunderstanding the information. Our bodies, which are not hamstrung by our beliefs and misperceptions, frequently possess higher wisdom about our issues. The body simply knows what it is experiencing and we can leverage this information in our healing process. Here are a number of suggestions on how to tune into the body to access this knowledge.

Emotional Triggers
Everyone has something that sets him or her off. These emotional triggers are no surprise to us and often they are no surprise to our loved ones! In this three-part series we look at how we can deal with emotional triggers when they are activated. and then how to deactivate them permanently.

Change For The Future
One of my favorite tapping/EvEFT applications is using it to insure that we make better choices and get closer to the life we really want to live. Here are two processes to positively impact our future. (These are far and away the most read articles on the site.)

Specialty Series
In addition to the regular articles and podcast on the site as of January of 2010 there is always a specialty series. These are a series of resources that go much more in-depth to one issue of many articles.

BONUS: My Personal Favorites
There are a number of resources that I have created that I am particularly proud of. Many of those articles can be found in the nine topic areas above. There are a number of my favorites that don't fit into one of those categories. Maybe, if you read between the line you will learn a little something about where I am in my life. Here they are in no particular order.

Pod #29: Turning Your Issues Into Allies In 9 Easy Steps

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One of the most powerful insights I have had in my practice in the last 18 months was the recognition that every issue we have is trying to serve us in some way. This does not mean that issue is successful in doing so, in fact often the effect of the issue is to make our life worse rather than better. In podcast I explain an easy 9 step process you can use with Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping to transform your issues into powerful resources for growth.

Resources For This Pod