Finding a balance between taking responsibility for our lives and taking too much responsibility for what is going on is a tricky matter.
Taking too much responsibility may seem like a silly notion, but it can happen in many ways.
One of these ways is when we refuse to allow ourselves grace or forgiveness. We recognize that we have made a mistake and then, whether consciously or unconsciously, we decide that we are not allowed to get past it.
As part of our penance we beat ourselves up, thinking it will lead to us making better choices in the future. When we think about the context of the mistake we think, “That is just an excuse. I should have done better!”
It is possible for us to know that we could have done better AND to recognize the context at the same time. We aren't making an excuse when we do this, but we are giving an explanation.
In this week's podcast, I explore the difference between excuses and explanations. Understanding the key difference between the two will help to find a path that includes both taking responsibility and offering ourselves grace.
Not understanding the difference will keep us stuck.
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One of the ideas that really makes my clients bristle is the possibility that their self-sabotaging behaviors are guided by their system's well-meaning intention to keep them safe.
For some issues, tracking progress is simple.
One of our biggest struggles in creating transformation and change in our lives is those moments where we know WHAT to do, we know HOW to do it, and we know WHY it is valuable to take an action…and yet we just don't.
One of Marianne Williamson's most cited quotes starts “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Letting ourselves down is one of the deepest betrayals that we humans can experience.
The words change and improve are very close in meaning.
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One of the most consistent struggles my clients have is coming up with the “right” words.
Grief is unlike other emotions when it comes to tapping.
We often refer to tapping for stress and feeling overwhelmed as emotional first aid. That is because we are applying a tool for quick relief in the moment in the same way we would use first aid for a physical injury.
A number of years ago I was visiting my friend “Mike” and his family.
There is a huge difference between bouncing back from being tired and being exhausted.
One of the hardest parts of being a caring person is witnessing others in pain.
There is this moment in every tapper's life when we move from “This tapping thing is amazing” to “Oh my goodness there are soooooo many issues for me to tap on. Every time I clear one issue I find four more!”
Over the years, so many of my clients and students have told me that two of the biggest obstacles preventing them from sitting down to tap are having too many issues so that they don't know where to start, and the fear that their emotions will be too big to handle when tapping.
Even though we might not be conscious of it, every time we sit down to tap, our desire is for total, instantaneous, eternal transformation.
Sometimes tapping feels nothing short of magical!
One of the fundamentals I repeatedly return to when I am working with clients or teaching practitioners is: We emotionally respond to the world in the way that we describe it.
For the longest time, I found tapping for feeling overwhelmed one of my most frustrating issues.