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Pod #726: Tap for any issue with these 4 steps

September 19, 2026 by Gene Monterastelli

One of the most common refrains I hear from clients when I am tapping with them is “That tapping was amazing. It is like you are inside of my head knowing exactly what to tap on next!”

This happens because there are two types of patterns I have come to recognize.

First, because I have spent thousands of hours working with clients, who share what they are thinking when we are tapping, I am able to recognize the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions that we feel as humans. There are details and reasons that people feel emotions are different from person to person, but the underlining concerts for safety and belonging are the same for all of us.

Second, in the last twenty years I have led clients through tens of thousands of rounds of tapping. I have had the chance to see what works and what doesn’t first hand. Not only am I paying attention at the moment, but I regularly go back to listen to old clients’ sessions so that I can dissect what works and what doesn’t.

This has led me to a simple four part formula that I use in almost every round of tapping I do. This isn’t only true for when I tap with clients, but it is also true when I am tapping on my own.

This week in the podcast not only do I share this simple formula with you I also show you how you can even have deep transformation by only doing the first step.

I know you are going to love this!

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Just because we know the power of tapping doesn’t mean we know exactly the best way to tap. Today I’m going to share the simple four-part formula I use for almost every single tapping script I write for my clients, for the videos I make, and when I’m tapping on my own.

Where This Formula Came From

Recently I was talking with one of my clients, and she wanted to do some tapping around being able to create some YouTube videos. She wasn’t looking to create videos for the general public. Instead, she wanted to create videos just to share with her family, so they could tap a little more and make tapping easier for them, since they know so little about it. After we did some work on the insecurity of being on camera and producing something good, we started talking about how I actually create tapping scripts.

It’s not just me talking. There’s a very specific formula, and it came out of years of working with thousands of clients and doing tens of thousands of rounds of tapping. Some of that recognition came from paying attention to what was happening in the moment, and a lot of it came from going back and re-listening to those sessions. What I found is that there are four parts that show up in every single one of my rounds of tapping. If you go look at any of the videos I’ve produced over the last three or four years where you see tapping scripts, you’ll see this formula over and over again.

The four-part formula works for any issue at all. It could be a limiting belief, a physical sensation, a struggle to take action, whatever it is. It doesn’t matter what the issue is. These four steps work every time as a jumping-off point and as a framework.

Step One: State What’s Going On and How You Feel About It

The first step is no different than sitting down with a friend and talking about what’s going on in your life. Let’s say it’s a limiting belief that’s holding you back from taking action. It might sound something like, “I really want to create these videos, but I just can’t get myself to sit down and do it. I’m disappointed, I’m frustrated, I’m overwhelmed.”

All you’re doing is saying what’s going on and how you feel about it. There might be multiple details and multiple feelings, and that’s fine. Give yourself permission to roll through it, chapter and verse. This is what’s going on. This is how I feel about it. You can even say what you don’t know: I’m not exactly sure what’s going on, or I’m not sure how I feel about it. It’s just honest reporting.

The first part is simply providing witness to what’s going on in your life. Say what you know, say how you feel about it. Say what you don’t know, say how you feel about that too.

Step Two: Recognize and Appreciate the System’s Intent

The second step is recognizing that our system is trying to keep us safe and healthy. There’s a difference between our system wanting to keep us healthy and actually keeping us healthy, but that’s what it’s trying to do.

For example, resistance to taking action is trying to keep me safe because my system is afraid of that action. So the second part of this formula is pointing out what the resistance is trying to do. My system is resisting this task right now because it’s afraid I’m going to get in trouble, or afraid I’m going to get judged. Once we’ve acknowledged what it’s trying to do, we appreciate that intention. I appreciate the fact that my resistance is trying to keep me safe.

Here’s something key to notice. We are not saying, “I appreciate the fact that I am resisting taking action.” Instead, we’re appreciating the intention to keep us safe. That means we’re no longer fighting with the resistance, the physical sensation, or the limiting belief. We’re appreciating that it’s our body trying to communicate something with us and trying to keep us safe.

There’s a real difference between affirming something’s intention and affirming what it’s doing. If I’m just saying “stop this, stop this, stop this,” I’m battling with myself. Think about working with someone in your life who’s acting from good intention but causing problems. It’s much easier to get them to act in a new way if you start by saying, “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, I appreciate that you’re trying to be helpful.” That gets them on your side. We’re doing the exact same thing with the stories we carry in our subconscious mind and the resistance we’re feeling.

Step Three: Let It Know How It’s Getting in the Way

This is where the reframe starts to happen. Now we share with the resistance, the physical sensation, or the limiting belief how it is getting in the way. I appreciate the fact that this part wants me to be safe, but if I don’t take action, I’m not going to grow my business. If I don’t take action, I’m going to miss out on opportunities. Even though it’s trying to keep me safe, it’s actually putting me in danger.

Step Four: Let It Know What You Want Instead

The fourth step is letting the system know what we want instead. I appreciate the fact that you’re trying to keep me safe, and I want to be safe as I’m taking action. As the fear diminishes, that doesn’t mean I’m going to be thoughtless or reckless or careless.

We’re not trying to get rid of the fear, we’re trying to turn the fear down. We’re not trying to get rid of the resistance, we’re trying to make it proportionate and well-informed. We’re not trying to eliminate the pain, we’re trying to let the system know we hear the pain and we’re taking appropriate action, so it no longer needs to sound the alarm.

Putting It Together

To recap the four steps:

  1. State what’s going on and how you feel about it.
  2. Appreciate the fact that your system is trying to keep you healthy.
  3. Let your system know how it’s getting in the way.
  4. Tell your system what you’d like instead.

When I create thirty days of tapping topics, for example, I take each topic and think about my own experience where I’m struggling with it, then I just move through these four steps in my mind. I don’t hold all four at once. It’s simply: what’s step one? What’s going on, and how do I feel? When that feels like it’s extinguished and worked its way out, I move to step two: this is what my system is trying to tell me. Then step three: this is how it’s getting in the way. Then step four: this is what I want my system to know instead.

It’s not about a specific number of words, phrases, or taps. You’re working through the idea until you’ve worked through the idea. After a round of tapping, take a deep breath, tune back in, and work through the process again. What do I notice and how do I feel now? What is my system trying to tell me now? How is this still getting in the way? What information do I need to reinforce or introduce as new?

When In Doubt, Just Do Step One

If you’re in the moment and feeling really emotionally charged, it’s often enough to just do step one. Months ago, I was working with a client who was really struggling with an anger issue. I told her that between now and our next session, the tapping I’d like her to do is simply: “I’m really angry because. I’m really angry because. I’m really angry because.” She asked what to do next, and I told her nothing, that’s it.

When we engage that way, fully articulated emotions tend to be short-lived. So if we’re tapping and going through that process, it can make a huge difference. It really is that simple.

Those are the four steps I use every single time I create a tapping script: state what’s going on, appreciate the fact that my system’s trying to keep me healthy, let my system know how it’s getting in the way, and tell the system what I’d like instead. Work through those four things and you’ll be surprised how easy it becomes.

Filed Under: Podcast

Pod #725: Tapping for anxiety without having to get into the details

September 11, 2026 by Gene Monterastelli

Over the last week I have heard from a number of clients who have reported feeling a general sense of anxiety and grief around the 25th anniversary of the terrorist attacks of September 11th in New York City and Washington, DC. 

Feeling bad about painful anniversaries and global events is not unusual. A common concern when tapping for this sort of anxiety is that working with the details will only worsen how we feel. 

This week in the podcast, I share a simple tool to tap for that anxiety and general sense of dread.

I have also provided a printout of the tapping process, which only makes sense after you listen to the podcast. 

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Filed Under: Podcast

Pod #724: A new way to tap with affirmations

August 27, 2026 by Gene Monterastelli

One of the most frequent questions that I receive in the Tapping Q&A inbox is about whether we should be tapping on positive or negative phrases.

People are often concerned that if you tap on a negative phrase, you will tap a negative belief into your subconscious mind.

The good news is that you can’t tap negative thoughts in.

Even so, it can feel heavy and even discouraging to be tapping constantly on feeling bad or on what is going wrong in your life. Preferring to tap on positive phrases makes perfect sense.

The problem is, tapping on a positive phrase that feels emotionally untrue is difficult. 

This issue comes up with even the most basic recipe for the EFT set-up phrase. It can be hard to say “Even though I have this issue, I deeply and completely accept myself” with any kind of conviction.  (I tackled this exact struggle in depth in episode 721 of the podcast.)

When a tapping phrase feels like a lie, you are less likely to engage with the tapping AND you are more likely to end the round of tapping sooner.
 
Recently, I was my interviewing my friend (and all-around amazing tapper) Jackie Viramontez for this year’s version of the Integrated Tapping Summit and she shared a new way of thinking about tapping with affirmations.

The moment she said it, I knew it was something that I needed to try. Not only was it powerful, it was more powerful than I could have imagined. 

In this week’s podcast I am sharing Jackie’s idea, plus the ways I have adapted it to my personal tapping style.

This is an approach that every tapper should have in their transformational tool box.

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Filed Under: Podcast

Pod #723: A new level of self-forgiveness with tapping

August 21, 2026 by Gene Monterastelli

When we are tapping to clear limiting beliefs, we often encounter the moment in time we picked up a particular belief.

As a practitioner, I especially love this type of work because it means we get the chance to heal the inner child. For my money, this is some of the most profound and meaningful work we can do when tapping.

I am currently in the midst of doing the interviews for the 2026 version of the Integrated Tapping Summit. This year, an entire section is dedicated to clearing limiting beliefs with tapping. When I was interviewing Sarah Tobin a few days ago about limiting beliefs, she shared an insight that had never occurred to me. 

She was talking about a certain type of forgiveness work that can support inner child healing. The moment she said it, it resonated deeply with my experience of healing. 

My first thought was, “Why didn’t I notice this before?!”

It is a simple, powerful approach to healing.

This week in the podcast, I share exactly how I started using the idea and how, after just a few days, it has already unlocked healing I didn’t know I even needed.

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Filed Under: Podcast

Pod #722: Tapping for Limiting Beliefs – A 5-Step Process That Works in Under 3 Minutes

August 17, 2026 by Gene Monterastelli

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Limiting beliefs are one of the most common obstacles I hear about from people in the tapping community, and they are also one of the things tapping is best equipped to address. In nearly two decades of working with clients and students, tapping for limiting beliefs has become one of my favorite applications of EFT, because the results are direct, fast, and felt immediately in daily life.

TL;DR / Key Takeaways

  • A limiting belief is a subconscious affirmation about how the world works that exists to keep you safe, not to hold you back. It only becomes a problem when it is disproportionate to actual risk or based on inaccurate information.
  • Intellectual understanding alone cannot clear a limiting belief. Transformation requires working at the subconscious level, which is exactly where EFT tapping operates through a process called memory reconsolidation.
  • The five-step tapping process for limiting beliefs takes under three minutes and can be used immediately on any belief that is getting in your way.
  • Fighting or dismissing a limiting belief makes it dig in harder. The key is to first acknowledge the belief’s protective intention, then show it how it is working against you.
  • Replacing a limiting belief requires a statement the subconscious can actually accept. Overclaiming (“everything will be perfect”) creates resistance. A grounded permission statement creates movement.

Why Limiting Beliefs Are So Hard to Shake

Limiting beliefs are hard to shake because they are not flaws in your thinking. They are features of your protective system doing exactly what they were designed to do. Your subconscious mind holds on to these beliefs precisely because it believes they are keeping you safe.

Think about it this way: I do not jump into the tiger cage at the zoo. That is a limiting belief. But I do not experience it as one because it is proportionate to real danger. The limiting beliefs that cause us problems work the same way on the inside. They generate resistance to protect us from what they perceive as threat, whether that threat is rejection, failure, judgment, or loss.

This is why willpower and positive thinking rarely work on their own. If you try to override a protective belief by force, the subconscious mind digs its heels in. The resistance is not an enemy. It is a misguided guardian.

What Is a Limiting Belief, Really?

A limiting belief is a subconscious affirmation about how the world works that is either inaccurate, disproportionate, or based on outdated information. It exists to create protective resistance, not to punish you.

This definition matters because it completely changes how you approach the work. Most people treat their limiting beliefs as character defects or signs that something is fundamentally broken in them. But a limiting belief is just a story your subconscious mind wrote, probably a long time ago, with the information it had available at the time. The story made sense once. It just has not been updated.

Key insight: “Limiting beliefs are always going to get the best of us. They keep us safe. What we’re really frustrated by is the fact that the limiting belief has gotten in the way of us doing the thing we want because it’s not doing it in a way that’s proportionate or that is well informed.”

Every limiting belief you carry is trying to protect you from something. The question is never whether the protection is well-intentioned. It always is. The question is whether it is accurate and proportionate to the actual situation in front of you right now.

Why Tapping for Limiting Beliefs Works When Willpower Doesn’t

Tapping works on limiting beliefs because it targets the subconscious level where those beliefs actually live, through a neurological process called memory reconsolidation. Willpower operates at the conscious level and cannot reach them.

Memory reconsolidation is the process by which stored memories and the emotional responses attached to them are retrieved, modified, and re-saved. When you tap while focusing on a limiting belief, you are not just thinking differently about a problem. You are creating the conditions for the subconscious story to be rewritten and stored again in a new form. This is what makes tapping categorically different from affirmations, journaling, or talk therapy alone, all of which are enormously valuable but operate primarily at the conscious level.

Key insight: “It is not enough to simply intellectually understand that the limiting belief you are carrying is not true. If all it required for you to transform a limiting belief was to know that it was not true, then the only thing we would need for healing and transformation are bumper stickers and posters of kitty cats hanging in there.”

This is why knowing better is not enough. You can know, with full certainty, that your fear of rejection is irrational, and still feel the brakes go on every time you try to put yourself out there. Tapping is one of the few tools that reaches both the conscious and subconscious levels simultaneously.

If you want to understand more about why the subconscious mind resists change even when you consciously want it, this episode on the subconscious tug of war goes deep on that dynamic.

The 5-Step Tapping Process for Limiting Beliefs

The five-step tapping process for limiting beliefs takes under three minutes and can be applied immediately to any belief that is currently getting in your way. You do not need to have all the steps memorized. A reasonable guess at each one is enough to get results.

To illustrate each step, I will use a concrete example: the belief that says “I can’t ask this person to partner with me because they’re going to reject me and I’ll feel foolish.”

Step 1: Wordless Tapping

Start with one full minute of tapping with no words at all. Move from point to point at your own pace, taking a deep breath as you begin. If you do not want to set a timer, three or four rounds of six to seven taps per point will cover it.

Wordless tapping does two things: it settles your nervous system and brings you into your body before you begin the heavier cognitive work. Starting a limiting belief session already activated makes every subsequent step harder. This first step is short, but skipping it costs you. For a deeper look at how content-free tapping works and when to use it, see this episode on eight ways to use content-free tapping.

Step 2: Name the Belief and Its Impact

Tap through the points while saying out loud what the belief is and what it is causing you to do (or not do). Something like: “I recognize that I am carrying this belief, and the belief is [your belief here], and this limiting belief is preventing me from taking action, making me hesitant, and stopping me from doing what I want.”

Naming the belief out loud does something important: it moves it from a vague background feeling into a specific, examinable object. You cannot address what you cannot clearly see.

Step 3: Honor the Belief’s Protective Intent

Still tapping, shift to acknowledging what the belief is trying to do for you: “I recognize that this limiting belief exists because it is simply trying to keep me safe. It does not want me to rush in, be judged, be rejected, or do something foolish. And I appreciate the fact that it is holding me back in an effort to keep me safe.”

This step is not about agreeing that the belief is correct. It is about getting your subconscious mind on board with the process.

Key insight: “It’s kind of like a handshake with the subconscious mind saying we’re on the same team. If I say, subconscious mind, you’re wrong, it’s going to dig its heels in.”

Skipping this step is one of the most common reasons tapping on limiting beliefs stalls. The subconscious mind will not release a belief it thinks you are attacking. This episode on turning intellectual pushback into tapping progress explores this pattern in more detail.

Step 4: Show the Belief How It’s Backfiring

Now, still tapping, let the belief know that its protective strategy is producing the opposite of what it intends: “Even though you are trying to keep me safe, you are actually doing the exact opposite. You are making the world more dangerous because you are preventing me from doing the things that will help me grow, evolve, and move forward.”

This step works because it speaks the subconscious mind’s language. You are not telling it it is wrong. You are showing it that its own goal, your safety and wellbeing, is better served by loosening its grip.

Step 5: Replace It with a Credible Truth

Finally, tap while offering a realistic replacement: “I appreciate the fact that it is possible for me, in thoughtful and deliberate ways, to move forward safely. This does not mean I am going to be thoughtless or reckless. I am engaging with this in thoughtful and deliberate ways, and I give myself permission to trust that I can move forward safely.”

Notice what this step does not say. It does not say “everything will work out perfectly” or “there is nothing to worry about.” Those statements are not believable to the subconscious mind, and an unbelievable affirmation creates resistance rather than releasing it. The goal is a truth the subconscious can accept, a permission statement that says: I can move, and moving does not mean abandoning care.

Why You Can’t Just Think Your Way Out of a Limiting Belief

Thinking alone cannot clear a limiting belief because the belief does not live in your thinking mind. It lives in the subconscious, and the subconscious does not respond to logic.

Reading the right book, understanding why a belief is irrational, or receiving encouragement can all be genuinely useful. But none of them reach the level where the belief is actually stored. They inform the conscious mind without rewriting the subconscious story.

Tapping works at both levels simultaneously. You hold the belief in conscious focus while the physical act of tapping sends a calming signal to the amygdala, the brain’s threat-detection center. That combination allows the memory to be accessed, modified, and re-stored. The belief does not just get quieter. It gets rewritten.

If intellectual understanding has been your primary tool and you keep hitting the same walls, this episode on why you resist taking healthy action is a useful companion read.

How to Use This Process for Any Limiting Belief

Tapping for limiting beliefs is effective on any belief that is disproportionate to actual risk or based on outdated information. The example used throughout this post was the fear of rejection in a partnership conversation, but the same five steps apply to beliefs about money, visibility, worthiness, health, creative work, or any other domain where you feel stuck.

Key insight: “The only way I can create a life that I love is if I actually take action. Nothing happens until we move. Limiting beliefs prevent us from taking action and moving. Therefore, when a limiting belief is disproportionate or misinformed, it prevents us from creating the life that is meant for us.”

You do not need to have the belief perfectly identified before you start. Begin with what you know. If you feel the resistance but cannot fully name what is driving it, start with wordless tapping and let the clarity come as you move through the steps.

If you want to track your tapping practice and build consistency with this kind of work, Tapping Tracker is a simple tool designed to help you do exactly that.

For more on how tapping and affirmations work together once a belief has been cleared, see this episode on tapping and affirmations as a transformation duo.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a limiting belief in EFT tapping?
In EFT, a limiting belief is a subconscious story about how the world works that creates resistance to action. It is not a character flaw. It is a protective mechanism that becomes problematic when it is disproportionate to actual risk or based on outdated information. Tapping works on limiting beliefs by accessing the subconscious level where they are stored.

Can tapping really clear a limiting belief in a few minutes?
Yes, particularly for beliefs that are clearly defined and moderately activated. The five-step process described here takes under three minutes and is designed to produce immediate relief from the resistance the belief generates. Deeper or more complex beliefs, especially those rooted in significant past experiences, may benefit from multiple sessions or work with a practitioner.

Why do limiting beliefs come back after tapping?
A limiting belief can resurface if it has multiple layers, if the root experience has not been fully addressed, or if the replacement truth offered in step five was not fully believable to the subconscious mind. When a belief returns, that is useful information. It points to a deeper layer or a related belief that is also worth tapping on.

What is memory reconsolidation and how does it relate to tapping?
Memory reconsolidation is the neurological process by which stored memories are retrieved, modified, and re-saved with new emotional content. EFT tapping leverages this process by pairing focused attention on a belief with the calming input of tapping on acupressure points, creating conditions for the subconscious story to be rewritten rather than suppressed.

Do I have to know exactly what my limiting belief is before I start tapping?
No. You can begin with wordless tapping and a general sense of where the resistance is. Clarity often emerges during the tapping process itself, particularly after step one settles the nervous system. Start with what you know, even if it is just “I feel stuck about this.”

How is tapping for limiting beliefs different from affirmations?
Affirmations work at the conscious level and are most effective after a limiting belief has already been cleared or softened. Tapping works at the subconscious level, where the belief is actually stored, through the physical act of stimulating acupressure points while holding the belief in focus. Used together, after tapping clears the resistance, affirmations can reinforce the new story. This episode on tapping and affirmations explains how to sequence them effectively.

What is the fear of rejection example in this episode about?
The fear of rejection example illustrates a belief that says “If I ask this person to partner with me, they will reject me and I will feel foolish.” Gene uses this example to walk through each of the five tapping steps in real time, demonstrating how the process addresses both the specific fear and the underlying protective mechanism driving it. For a deeper dive into tapping for rejection specifically, see this post on breaking free from the fear of rejection.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Action, Change, Goals, How To, Resistance, Subconscious, Success, Transformation

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Gene MonterastelliGene Monterastelli is a Brooklyn based tapping practitioner. In addition to working with individual clients and groups, he regularly writes and records about how to use tapping to move from self-sabotage to productive action.
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