Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #513: The Root Cause Of Almost Every Issue Is…

by

In order to get the most out of a tapping session we know that the more specific we are about an issue, the faster we will get results.

In more than a decade of working with clients I have come to realize that 95% of all issues have the exact same core issue. In this week's podcast I share what that core issue is, the best way to uncover it (it only takes two questions), and how you can tap for that issue.

Support the podcast!

Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Android | Google Podcast | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio

Don't forget to check out the Tapping Success Academy if you are serious about getting better results with your tapping.

How Tappers See Tapping

by

In an effort to make the research around tapping more accessible to the general public David Feinstein, Ph. D., is writing summaries of these studies. You can find all the summaries that have been shared so far here.

Tapping on acupuncture points while saying certain statements aloud is a powerful tool for resolving mental, emotional, and physical difficulties. More than 120 clinical trials show the approach (which falls under the category of “Energy Psychology”) to be fast and effective in producing strong outcomes.

But how can tapping on the skin make a difference? It looks strange and seems like wishful thinking, yet informed estimates suggest that millions of people worldwide have experienced substantial positive change!

To unravel the mysteries of tapping, a new in-depth analysis by psychologist David Feinstein examined the reports of more than 800 practitioners and clients who participated in 15 studies based on interviews or online surveys.

Continue to a Summary of the Study and a Link to the Entire Paper…

About David: DAVID FEINSTEIN, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a pioneer in developing innovative therapeutic approaches, leading to nine national awards for his books on consciousness and healing. He and his wife, Donna Eden, have built the world’s largest and most vibrant organization teaching energy medicine. Their latest award-winning book, The Energies of Love, achieved best-seller status on the NY Times Relationship List. David has served on the faculties of The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, Antioch College, and the California School of Professional Psychology.

What If I don’t (or can’t say while Tapping/EFT) “Completely Love And Accept Myself”?

by

Note: This article was originally published October 22nd 2012 and has been updated.

From the very beginning, the first step of Gary Craig's Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) was to tap on the side of the hand and use what he called the set-up phrase: “Even though I have this issue I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

I can appreciate the sentiment of wanting this for ourselves, but many clients over the years have queried why they need to use this phrase.

Here are five thoughts to consider when choosing tapping phrases:

1) The Words We Use While Tapping Aren’t Magic

This is the piece of advice I give most often to tapping beginners. When most of us learn tapping we are taught to tap on a point while saying a phrase. This can lead us to believe that to get relief what we need to do is say a phrase and tap.

In reality the way we find relief while tapping is by focusing on an issue and tapping on the points. Saying words out loud about the problem is one effective way of focusing your effort BUT it is not the only way.

Your focus is of most importance, not the words you use.

Sometimes a specific word, phrase, or reframe will help us to focus intensely, while at other times no words are needed at all. The great thing about tapping is that it is really quick and there are few consequences for trying something new.

My advice is to try lots of different phrases and find the ones that work best for you. If something is not ringing true, try something else, it will only cost you a few seconds. So if the phrase “I love and accept myself” isn’t useful, then look for something else that is.

[For more information on the types of information that we get from each round of tapping and what to try next check out Feedback: What We Can Learn From Each Round Of Tapping]

2) Even If We Don’t Believe The Words We Say While Tapping They Can Still Be Helpful

This builds on the principle of our focus being more important than the words we say. Often saying words we don’t believe helps us to focus on the issue we want to address.

Let’s take weight release as an example.

Imagine that you want to release 35 lbs. but there is a part of you that doesn’t believe it is possible. You could tap on the phrase “there is a part of me that doesn’t believe I can release this weight” as an easy way to tune in to that part of yourself that feels hopeless about shedding the excess pounds.

You could also say the exact opposite and achieve the same result. You could tap on a phrase like “I know that I am going to release 35 lbs!” and the little voice inside my head will respond “No, you are not! There is no way you will release this weight. It’s hopeless!”

Here the focus is not on the words, but on the feelings of hopelessness around the situation. In both cases you are tapping on the same issue, even though the phrases have opposite meanings.

The same can be true for the phrase “I love and accept myself.” When you say this phrase out loud and focus on whatever emotions arise, you will be tapping on the issue that needs to be addressed.

This is especially true if you believe the phrase because the critical voice inside your head will pipe up and tell you so.

3) There Might Be A Reason That You Don’t Like The “Love And Accept Myself” Phrase While Tapping

I find it interesting when my clients have an immediate visceral reaction to something because it tells me that we have struck a nerve.

For example, you could call me overly obsessive about sports. I may disagree with you on this, but you won’t get an emotional response from me because it’s not something I worry about in my own life.

On the other hand, if you were to call me self-absorbed, that would elicit an emotional response from me. I would feel attacked, hurt, and offended. Not because this is not true, but because I do personally I struggle with this concern. I would feel attacked because there is a wound around this area of my life and you just prodded that wound.

I believe one of the main reasons people don’t like saying “I love and accept myself” is because it hits close to home as something a part of them can’t believe. We don’t like saying these words because they remind us of our own failings.

Saying something we don’t believe in gives us the opportunity to tune in to the part of our personality that doesn’t believe the phrase. If there is a strong “I don’t like saying I love and accept myself” reaction, then this is a great area to explore when you are tapping on our own or with a practitioner.

4) Other Phrases To Try While Tapping

Occasionally some issues can be so emotionally charged that it is not useful or safe for us to dive into them. One of the reasons I love tapping is because it allows us to creep up on a problem slowly without having to go directly to the most painful part of it.

If the phrase “I completely love and accept myself” is too emotionally charged to be useful to you, try these alternatives instead:

  • I give myself permission to love and accept myself
  • I might not believe that I love and accept myself, but someday I know it will be possible to love and accept myself
  • I am worthy of loving and accepting myself if I don’t right now
  • I give myself permission to love and accept myself one day
  • I give myself permission to believe that it is possible to love and accept myself
  • It is safe for me to love and accept myself
  • There is a part of me that fully loves and accepts myself even if I don’t have access to that part at this moment
  • Even though I am not perfect, I am open to the possibility of loving and accepting myself anyway
  • This work is helping me to work towards loving and accepting myself

If you are looking for more creative set-up phrases you should check out the set-up phrase generator. Each time you refresh the page it will give you 10 new set-up phrases to try.

5) The Reason I Never Start With The Set-Up Phrase

Never might be a little strong, but as a general rule I don't start a round of tapping with the set-up phrase because the emotional reaction it prompts in many people can be distracting. If you are tapping on an issue that has nothing to do with love and acceptance and you have an issue with that idea, then you are complicating the moment.

For example, let's say I'm tapping on a pain in my knee and I tap on “Even though I have this pain in my knee I love and accept myself.” Now I am dealing with the pain in my knee AND I have surfaced issues with the self-acceptance issue. Instead, I find it more useful and natural to tap on self-acceptance when it arises in connection with another issue.

This last point is rather controversial and I know a number of respected practitioners who would strongly disagree with me. As always, do what works best for you.

Conclusion

Do you have to say, “I love and accept myself” for tapping to work? Of course not.

BUT if you are having a hard time saying it or you feel uncomfortable when you think about it, then it is more than likely that you have hit a nerve around an issue that needs some extra attention. As Mastin Kipp says, “Without self-acceptance self-help won’t work” so you might consider making time to tap specifically on this issue.

Pod #512: How To Speed Up The Healing Process

by

We have all heard the old saying that “hindsight is 20/20 vision” because it is so much easier to look back and see how we could have done things differently from the vantage point of the present.

When this happens we can end up judging ourselves very harshly. The problem with this type of evaluation is we are judging our past self with new knowledge. It's easy to think “What on earth was I thinking?! It is so clear that was the wrong choice to make!” when in reality we were doing the best we could with the knowledge and information we had at the time of the choice.

In this week’s podcast I share a fresh approach you can take when evaluating your past choices and use it to guide you towards more effective healing.

Support the podcast!

Subscribe in: Apple Podcast | iPhone | Android | Google Podcast | Spotify | Pandora | Amazon Music | iHeartRadio

Create v. Responsible

by

[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our minds, giving us an opportunity for transformation. More articles can be found in this series here: Tools:Words]

Note: This article was originally published November 20, 2011 and has been updated.

I was recently working with a client who has Lyme disease. At one point in the session he said, “I created this situation.”

This statement really struck me. I asked myself, “Did he really create the situation?” and more importantly, “Is it helpful to worry about how a situation was created?”

Sometimes it is obvious when we create a situation, such as choosing to accept a job offer. At other times our lack of action creates a situation, like having your power turned off for failing to pay an electric bill.

But just because something is happening in my life does not mean that I have created it. I think this is one of the areas in which Law of Attraction teaching only goes so far. To assume I am creating everything in my life would mean that my intention is more powerful than the free will of the people around me.

For example, if I am sitting in my living room and a baseball smashes through my front window, it wasn't because I created that situation.

Even if you are willing to argue that I did somehow create the situation of the baseball shattering the window, in the short term it doesn't matter how or why it happened. What matters is what comes next as the window will not fix itself. It is up to me to take responsibility for the broken window, clear up the glass so that nobody gets hurt, and have the window fixed to keep the elements out.

One of the pitfalls of looking at the world through the eyes of “how we created” a situation is it can impede the healing process. It's often helpful to reflect on why something happened so it won't happen again. At the same time, if we are only trying to figure out how it was created or how we created it, we will get stuck.

In our example, if I am only worried about how and why the baseball came through my window, my living room will remain covered with broken glass.

For me, it is much better first to respond to what I am responsible for in a situation without allowing myself to get entangled in the emotional trap of wondering why or how I got there.

In the example of my client with Lyme disease, worrying about the specifics of how he got it will not be helpful. More than likely he will never again be in a situation where he is exposed to the disease. Instead he can move forward by recognizing what he is responsible for. He is responsible for how he feels physically right now, for taking his medication, following his doctor's advice, and understanding the lifestyle choices and environments that cause a flare up of the symptoms.

By focusing on what we are responsible for we are able to leave behind the emotions of what was and move to the energy of working with what is.

That is why I think it is so important that we understand the difference between creating and being responsible for something in our lives. First, I respond to what I am responsible for. This is what is in front of me and what I am going to do next. Once that is done there will be the opportunity to ask questions about how something was created. It might be the consequence of a choice I made, the choices of others, or a situation that will never happen again.

Doing our investigation in this order allows us to take care of the healing in the most efficient order and prevents us from taking more responsibility than is warranted.

Click here to read what others have to say. I would really love to hear what you think!