We often have people in our lives who are critical of others who have success. When we are around this it can cause us to hold back from taking action. This tap-along will help you to overcome this fear.
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One of my favorite parts of the tapping community is people's willingness to share their experience and expertise. A few months ago I sent an email to a number of practitioners I admire and asked them if they would be willing to share their wisdom about the following:
I received some wonderful responses from Kim D'Eramo, Alan Davidson, Jondi Whitis, Robin Bilazarian, Kris Ferraro, Gwyneth Moss, Deborah D Miller, Jake Khym, Tania A Prince, Ange Finn, Nancy Forester, Peta Stapleton, Julie Schiffman, Steve Wells, and Mary Ayers. You can read all their answers (and soak up their wisdom) right here.
Reading through all of these amazing answers gave me the opportunity to reflect on those questions myself. In this week's podcast I share my own answers to the five questions.
These lessons are just a taste of what I will be teaching in my Mastering the Art of Delivery training. If you join us, you will get more out of your tapping while working with clients and while tapping on your own. Use the coupon code “podcast” for 50% off the registration.
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The fear of being judged harshly by others is one of the most powerful emotions that prevents us from taking action. To complicate matters, we may then beat ourselves up for feeling like we are failing because we know that fear of judgment is holding us back. The tapping in this video will help you to create the space you need to take action.
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I recently worked with Cheryl around the pain she was experiencing in her leg. The healing outcome was so profound I wanted you to hear the story in her words:
I'd struggled with searing hip and lower right leg pain for 4 years. The pain was so severe that sometimes I couldn't even walk across the room and even on good days I couldn't manage more than a couple of blocks. Thinking I had radiating sciatic pain, I received evaluations from orthopedists and neurologists, physical therapists, acupuncturists, bodyworkers, and energy healers. The pain never improved and my life got smaller and smaller. I'm a former long distance runner and have always been extremely active and athletic so this malady had a dramatic impact on my life. I'd resigned myself to making the best of my limitations.
While working with Gene on other issues I asked to address my debilitating hip and leg pain. Gene's insightful and penetrating questions unearthed a trauma from 1982 when I had emergency surgery for a ruptured tubal pregnancy. Although I had previously done emotional and physical healing work on this event, Gene led me in tapping and visualization that saw my intense and debilitating pain chronic ease and then disappear in ONE session!! After working on it for years from so many directions and domains, this speaks volumes about his ability to get underneath issues and bring together the art and skill of EFT Tapping. I am immensely moved and grateful. I recommend Gene's work profoundly.
Cheryl Jones, RN, PhD
My aim in sharing this story with you isn't to encourage you to work with me one-on-one (though of course I would be willing to do that), but to highlight two parts of Cheryl's account:
I asked Cheryl only three questions to get to the root cause of the problem. The tapping and visualization we did took less than 20 minutes, and we used just one type of guided imagery in the visualization to get to these results.
You already know tapping is an amazingly powerful tool. If you didn't believe that, you wouldn't be reading this email. BUT knowing how to tap isn't always enough to get the results. You need to be able to find the root causes. Being able to use tapping skillfully to get results faster is “the art of delivery”.
It's not just knowing the tool, but knowing how to use it. That is why I created the “Mastering the Art of Delivery” training where I am going to teach how to do exactly what I did when I worked with Cheryl.
In Session 3 you will learn the questions I used to unearth Cheryl's trauma. In Session 8 I will teach you how to do the visualization I used with Cheryl to create the healing.
AND those aren't the only things I will be teaching in sessions 3 and 8. You will learn this and so much more.
If you are looking to make tapping an even more powerful tool in your life than it already is, then you need to join me for this training. The skills I'll be teaching work when you are tapping with others and also when you are tapping on your own.
This training will be run three different times over Zoom to suit three different time zones, so you can find a weekend that works for you. I am also limiting the number of people attending each weekend to ensure that you receive personalized attention throughout.
Use the coupon code “art” for 50% off the training.
You can find all of the details here: http://TappingArtOfDelivery.com
Let me know if you have any questions about the training by replying to this email.
This is an amazing opportunity to deepen your tapping delivery skills! Do it now: http://TappingArtOfDelivery.com
Gene
PS: Depending on which weekend you sign up for, you will get the chance to meet Cheryl as she is already registered. I hope you can join us! http://TappingArtOfDelivery.com
Over the last few weeks I have been doing a number of interviews for the Tapping Q & A podcast. Even though it wasn't the topic of the interview, on five different occasions the same issue came up. All five practitioners talked about how their clients wouldn't tap because they didn't know the words to say.
It makes total sense. If you feel uncertain about how to do something then you aren't going to do it.
That is one of the reasons I do so many tap-along videos and audios. To help you to have words when you can't find your own.
As great as having a tapping script are, those scripts are general and aren't perfect because they aren't tailored to you.
To make it easier for you to come up with words and get more out of your tapping I am going to start doing group tapping zoom classes. Each call will be dedicated to a single topic. At the beginning of the call I am going to teach you how I approach the issue and then we are going to tap on your specific aspects around the topic.
If you participle you are going to receive 3 thing:
To kick off these classes I am going to be doing 3 classes in July and you can sign up for all 3 classes for only $7.
The three classes in July are:
You are going to get three hours of tapping on three important topics, recordings of all three classes, and transcriptions of all the tapping for only $7!
Moving forward these classes are going to be more than $7 each, much less 3 for $7.
Sign up for the classes here: http://www.experttappingresources.com/july-classes
If you have any questions just hit reply to this email.
I hope you join me!
Gene
PS: Even if you aren't able to make the call, you will still receive the audio, video, and scripts after the fact so you can tap along whenever you want. I would be silly to miss 3 classes for only $7. http://www.experttappingresources.com/july-classes
One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions.
What is one thing you wish your clients believed about the healing process?
When Fear directs the process, healing slows down. When the Soul or Love directs the process, miracles can happen. Their journey into healing, wholeness, and mystical awakening is their unique journey. Their pace is perfect and their progress is perfect. Learning to reset from fear into love is simply part of your journey. Alan Davidson
Keep trying other modalities until you find the one for you. In the Energy Psychology world, this might be EFT, Heart Assisted Therapy (HAT), Tapas Acupressure Techniques (TAT), Brief Energy Correction (BEC), and more. Try another practitioner, too if you are not making progress. You are worth it, pursue your healing journey any way and anywhere you can. Robin Bilazarian, LCSW
That it is indeed a process! That it can take twists and turns. Things that seem unrelated to their current concern can arise and it's important for them to be addressed. It is a cliché, but so true: trust the process. This is work. It's the most important work anyone can ever do. And it is so, so worth it! Kris Ferraro
I wish they knew and believed that the healing process can be gentle, easy, beautiful and an amazing process filled with so much love. Deborah D Miller
100% percent belief that they will heal. I think we have been so conditioned by the media and schooling that we have limiting beliefs around nature’s ability to heal us. We put the power outside of ourselves, rather than owning our own power. Years ago the shaman would just perform a ritual and the person would heal. Their own belief system worked for them effortlessly. For me it is about getting back that trust in natural healing methods.
Tania A PrinceI wish my clients believed that a recurrence of an emotional upset or issue is a normal part of the healing process. It doesn't mean that they have failed to ‘do this right' or failed to make any progress. I wish they could distinguish when they have made progress and see that they are now being presented with a new opportunity to heal further. Ange Finn
I wished they believed that the healing process is their human right. That an innate desire for healing and growth is built into human biology – and if we can find a way to provide the conditions of psychological/emotional safety, the human system will move toward a natural evolution. And of course, that even though there are miracles along the way, the process of healing is a lifelong endeavour. The possibilities are endless. Nancy Forester
There is never just one answer or one way to move through the healing process. You may feel up, down, sideways or crooked for days…even months. And then suddenly the movements and synchronicities start to shift and shine through. Truly, anything is possible. I wish everyone believed this. Every person has the power within to heal. Julie Schiffman
The importance of noticing small changes in the right direction. Mary Ayers
That they are not victims of the process, but they are in charge of it. Once they understand that they are an integral part of the underlying process, they then start to use it more effectively and extricate themselves from being victims. Ted Robinson
I believe that any belief that doesn’t serve you can be changed. If I could get my clients (and the world) to believe that, I would be content with that as my life’s work.
Pamela BrunerYou are designed as a divine being that has the ability to constantly renew yourself. Just like a wound on your skin, this is the regenerative process that occurs naturally, whether you want it or not. Emotional wounds will not heal if they are not allowed to through remembrance of these with resentment, anger, fear and hate. If you inundate your soul with Love and forgiveness, you will heal. Remember an emotion is not a fact…you can let it go.
Till SchillingDon’t judge the shift by the drama! For whatever reason, some clients believe that they need a massive cathartic experience with lots of drama to change and heal. Yet, in the hands of a skilled practitioner, healing can be gentle, subtle and complete.
Rod SherwinI wish they believed that it can be fun. It doesn’t have to be deadly serious and earnestly heartfelt all the time. Humor is so healing in itself, and to mix it into any healing process is a total blessing. I have found that it really speeds things up. It goes against the common belief that unless the healing is a struggle, it’s not worth much. I wished they believed that the healing process can feel good — because it most definitely can.
Janet Hilts
Note: This podcast is a part of the Healing Fundamentals series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series.
When we take an action we usually have an expectation about how it will work out. When I order lunch, my expectation is that the food will be tasty. When I launch a new product in my business, I expect to reach certain sales goals.
In addition to the outcome, we also have expectations of how we should feel when we are doing something. On one level it's not enough just to give a good presentation at work, because a part of us wants to feel completely in control and confident while giving that presentation.
This situation gives rise to a great deal of negative self-talk. We beat ourselves up in the moment for not doing well enough AND we beat ourselves up after the fact for not meeting our expectations. As well as feeling bad in the moment this means that we are also less likely to take action in the future.
Here is a simple way to quiet negative self-talk.
You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.
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Even when we have a clear idea of what we want to do, we can come up against internal emotional resistance to taking action. This tap-along will help you to take more actions, without feeling like you are being careless or reckless.
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One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions.
What is one thing you wish your clients believed about themselves?
That they are enough. Rather than being broken, or permanently wounded…They already have everything they will ever need to be healthy, happy, enlightened, and to thrive in their unique soul's destiny. They have an inner source of wisdom, guidance, and healing that can direct their healing journey. Learn to know and trust that inner source. Alan Davidson
That there is nothing 'wrong' with them. To let go of the perception that outside forces could fix them, vs. inside wisdom and cultivation. To investigate more truthfully, using current eyes, heart, mind…the idea that they are Not Good Enough…I'd ask them to ask themselves…'good enough for whom? Good enough to get…what? Good enough to be/have…what?' To have them believe that there is never 'too much' to heal or fix or resolve…and that it's never too late to start, although as I said above, now is a better time than later, and always is a better plan than occasionally. : ) Jondi Whitis
My job is to meet them where they are at and start right there, not to wish they believed something about themselves. Where they are at is where they are at. Gwyneth Moss
Humility and magnanimity aren't contradictory; they are two essential pillars in character formation. Jake Khym
Globally, I wish each client knew that they are enough. That they don’t need to change for anyone or anything. They are worthy enough and they are competent enough. Specifically for each client, I wish they knew that the stories of inadequacy they are telling themselves which lead to the discomfortable feelings of shame, guilt, anxiety and chronic physical conditions – are just untrue. That they actually have little to no credible evidence supporting any of these stores of their limitations. Nancy Forester
I am moving away from the belief that my clients should attach to any particular beliefs, I am happy for them to be whoever and whatever they choose, and if they need certain beliefs to see them through, they are entitled to believe what they choose. Of course, if they are suffering I'd love them to know that it is really all just BS and can be changed. Steve Wells
That the past does not define them…that even if they didn't get the best foundation in their family of origin, that foundation can be altered and added too. Mary Ayers
I wish they would accept that they are the “storytellers” of their life and they establish the illusions and then place themselves into each story perfectly to learn a new lesson each time. If they could accept that, they could then tell different stories and learn different lessons that I believe would be more beneficial for them.
Ted RobinsonThat persistence is sometimes the key.
Alina FrankOne thing I wish they believed is that it’s OK to ask for help or use EFT yourself as a first resort instead of the last resort. I wish they believed that bucking up is being unnecessarily hard on themselves. In our culture, suffering is highly overrated!
Janet Hilts
As someone who knows a lot about tapping, it's natural to want to share that knowledge with others, but sometimes we don't have the opportunity. This is especially true when dealing with a crisis in the moment, when we are working with children, or both.
In this podcast Jondi Whitis and I talk about how to approach either of these situations and she shares strategies to avoid over-explaining or attempting to do too much, plus a simple formula for how we can be most helpful in the moment.
The conversation is based on the book Emotional First-Aid For Children that Jondi co-wrote with Deborah Miller. If you spend time with children, this book is a must-have!
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Guest: Jondi Whitis
Contact: Web @ JondiWhitis.com; email @ Jondi@eft4Results.com; YouTube @ Jondi Whitis
About: Jondi Whitis is an Accredited, Certified EFT Master Trainer, Practitioner, Mentor and Training Board member of EFT International. She delights in teaching others how to become EFT practitioners of excellence, and has a passion for producing modern, creative resources for practitioners and trainers worldwide.
She is known for her deeply personal, hands-on training and mentoring, and is especially interested in using those skills to serve children, veterans, Native Americans, and healthcare professionals interested in modern, holistic approaches to wellness. She describes herself as an ‘integration specialist’, enthusiastically guiding clients and professionals to find authentic ways of integrating EFT into their lives.
Her outreach efforts include the first TapFest, now called the Spring Energy Event gathering, which she hosts each year with a team of friends, and activities for the Humanitarian Committee of ACEP, an ambassador for the EFT Guild, and has authored 3 resource books on AMAZON, How to Be a Great Detective, Creating Great Introductory Groups, and Compassion in Action: Emotional First-Aid for Children. A fourth resource book, on facing serious health challenges, is in the works.
Just because we want to lead doesn't mean we step up to the challenge. We may experience emotional resistance because of the concern that putting ourselves out there could lead to judgment and scorn. This tap-along will help you to grow in confidence.
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One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions]
If you were to start your own healing journey over again what would you do differently?
I would have moved at a faster pace and more consistently sought support and assistance along the way. I truly appreciated my first therapist, who helped me through a divorce crisis, but I didn't continue ‘doing the work' – I think I thought I was good to go. In a long second bout of therapy, I got out of danger. If I had it to do over, I think I'd appreciate and pursue the value of great and artful support to help me evolve and thrive along the way vs waiting until I hit a crisis point to seek help. Jondi Whitis
Less study, more practice. In the early days, I read every newsletter, attended classes, poured over each version of Gary Craig's EFT Manual. I truly wish I had simply tapped more. Instead of trying to “get it right”, if I had tapped more and been present in my body, the energy of EFT would have shown me what I needed to learn. I would have gotten to know myself and my own energy field better, faster, and more effectively. Going from head to body has been imperative for my own healing. Kris Ferraro
Do more of my own personal formation and work around self-discovery and self-possession. Jake Khym
I'd get myself into a regular routine and maintain it. I've learned that although routine is boring and sometimes feels like a slog, it's important for retraining our nervous systems and is worth maintaining. I was always looking for the excitement of feeling blissful, not understanding that the work is gradual, non-linear, and builds on itself if you keep doing it. Ange Finn
I would have liked to reach the understanding that lack of money is a symptom of something else sooner rather than later. I spent a lot of time and money trying to make more money when instead it would have been to understand what money meant to me and what the lack of it was protecting me from. Rod Sherwin
Note: This podcast is a part of the Healing Fundamentals series. The topics covered in this series move beyond the basics of tapping to understanding the healing process. By understanding these fundamentals you will be able to get more out of your tapping faster. Make sure you check out the whole series.
One of the human experiences that cuts us the deepest is being ignored or dismissed as unimportant by whose attention we most want. The pain can come from being ignored by our friends, our family, or any one important in our life.
On one level, it taps into the primitive fear of being excluded from the safety of our tribe. And on another level, it pushes against our desire to be seen as worthy by others.
This week's podcast explores:
As you will hear, there are often multiple aspects to this issue, which makes tapping for it tricky.
You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.
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There may be times when you'd like to be helpful in a situation or to a person, but you are worried about how your offer will be received. This tap-along will help you to feel more comfortable with being helpful.
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One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions.
What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?
That I'm not their source. I'm not their guru, I'm not “taking on” patients. I'm here to assist them, not help them, so by being connected myself, they find that connection within them. Kim D'Eramo, D.O.
Whole healing focuses on the whole person. There isn't one technique that works for everyone all the time. I searched for years. Some techniques do have miraculous stories of healing. Those clients' core issues were often found in one layer of the human experience: physical, emotional, mental, moral, or spiritual (energetic). A deep wound or trauma usually affects most or all the layers. Whole healing, moving beyond surviving into thriving, focuses on the flow of vibrant life through all five layers of the human experience. Alan Davidson
That helping clients heal is more in the things like the quality of presence, the amount of palpable safety you can help them connect with, the felt sense of compassionate patience and witness you create for them to ‘unpack their own suitcases' much more than the specific modality or tools you use. Jondi Whitis
Before learning EFT/Tapping, I practiced as a psychotherapist who never asked about the body and the physicality of stress. I only focused on thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. I missed an entire dimension of information and intervention. Robin Bilazarian, LCSW
Recently I've come more to use no-words tapping, similar to Gunilla Hamne and Ulf Sandström's Trauma Tapping Technique (TTT) method, when starting out with a new client or teaching people to tap for themselves. No words takes the edge off, doesn't confuse, and people are more likely to use tapping for themselves when they don't have to worry about what to say. In training starting with no-words tapping gets the message across that the tapping does the work. It's then easier to get people out of suggestions and using language to influence. Gwyneth Moss
When I first started I thought the transformation process was about healing the emotional and physical body. After working with children with cancer, I realized that healing the body wasn’t the only goal. Sometimes the transformation process was about getting better physically and living a longer, happier life. Sometimes it was about helping the person release false beliefs and actually leave their body with an inner calm and peace. Both journeys are beautiful and heart-warming. Deborah D Miller
Sometimes the healing process brings deeper restoration than quick healing fixes. Jake Khym
When I first came into the healing profession I came from a science background. At some level that limited me, I didn’t believe that the techniques could heal everything. It didn’t fit with my “scientific perspective”. Now I am very different. I believe everything is possible. I am open to the possibility of what may happen when I work with clients. The reason for this is that I have seen so many amazing transformations through the years. Transformations that have occurred even when the client's doctors have said, nothing more can be done to help you with this problem. Tania A Prince
I changed my mind about the need to try relentlessly to get everything down to zero, with myself and with others. I've learned to help my clients understand that getting an issue to a low but manageable level can sometimes be enough, so that we don't put pressure on ourselves to achieve complete neutrality on an issue. Ange Finn
That healing can happen in an instant – it doesn't need to take weeks or months. Peta Stapleton
We are all more resilient than we think we are. Just when you think nothing can change or when you think you have done everything possible to make a change, or when you think you have to learn to live with pain, or it's just meant to be this way…there is always another way. There is ALWAYS another way. Julie Schiffman
I now know from experience that many of the things I accepted as true about me were really just beliefs that I had attached to. Now, I don't accept anything is necessarily set in concrete, everything is potentially open to change. Steve Wells
Trying to force change with affirmations doesn’t work: No one likes to be told what to do. Trying to force change by tapping in positive affirmation usually results in more resistance to change. Instead, I would rather tapping on the resistance and barriers to change and then test if the affirmation feels real rather than trying to beat it into me.
This also applies to the more extreme forms of personal change where the consequences of not changing are magnified to cause you so much pain that your system cannot stay there and instead you must go to a different place. There are much more gentle ways to make change without the fear, drama, and intensity. Rod SherwinI used to believe that everyone wants to heal as quickly as possible, but that just isn’t true. The blocks and reversals that go along with chronic conditions stand in the way of full alignment between the subconscious and conscious choice to heal quickly.
Alina FrankWhen I first started working with clients, I was very intent on being totally present and very observant. I think I was afraid I would miss some all-important signals, and therefore shortchange my clients.
Over time I came to realize that the more relaxed I am, the more easily I can tune in to the client’s needs and my own intuition. Then I can be of service at the highest level possible and participate in the healing process more fully. The more relaxed I am, the more relaxed and trusting my clients are, enabling them to open up faster, go deeper, and speed up their own healing process. Who knew that could all come from me relaxing more?
Janet HiltsI used to believe that it was possible to heal without experiencing any pain, and if we were intentional about our healing and growth process, we could grow without discomfort. I no longer believe that – instead, I think that discomfort shows us where we need to heal, and gives us opportunities. We can remove discomfort and pain (that’s what healing is all about, both emotional and physical) but we don’t grow if we never experience it.
Pamela Bruner
The murder of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and others as well as the ongoing protests at centuries of racial injustice have galvanized many to speak truth more forcefully in their daily lives. One of those people is my friend J Nycole Ralph.
As J Nycole was processing her own emotions, she realized that she was being more impacted by the death of another black American AND she wasn't standing up in as powerful a way she wanted to.
To that end, she created a process called The CREATE Method. It stands for
In today's podcast, J Nycole walks me through these six steps. As someone who has helped people process their emotions for over a decade, I learned a number of new ideas in this conversation. It is well worth your time.
Listen to this. Take notes. Implement the ideas as you are working on and tapping for your issues and struggles. This is timely for this moment, but it is a tool you can use always.
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Guest: J Nycole Ralph
Contact: email @ JNycoleRalph@gmail.com; Instagram @jnycoleralph; Instagram @wokseries; Schedule a free CREATE Strategy Session with J Nycole
About: J Nycole Ralph teaches the C.R.E.A.T.E. process and helps entrepreneurs, artists, and personal development junkies to implement it into their lives so that they can make an impact on the world and get paid well to do it! She does this via life coaching through the world-renowned company, Inner Access, as well as via independent life coaching for actors & performers. J Nycole has been living her dream of performing on Broadway and touring around the world for the past several years, telling the heartwarmingly impactful yet hilarious story, The Book of Mormon (written by Matt Stone & Trey Parker, writers of South Park). She has also created her own comedic series called Working Out the Kinks that not only makes you laugh but also uses hair as a vehicle to explore and educate on the differences between black and white culture. Additionally, J Nycole is an executive producer on the upcoming feature film, Lola, the first African-American female boxing movie, starring Taja V. Simpson of The Bold and the Beautiful and Tyler Perry’s Boo 2. J Nycole's mission is to carry out the legacy of entertaining while empowering and educating, a legacy left to her by her mother and grandparents to whom she gives thanks and honor for, without them, she would not be the woman she is today.
When we feel anger, our emotional guidance system is letting us know that it is perceiving an attack. This is designed to keep us safe, but sometimes anger shows up in disproportionate strength to the circumstances we are experiencing. Tap along to bring your anger in check.
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The phrase “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is often taught to us as children. As adults, we know this isn't true. It would be great if what other people said about us didn't have the power to hurt us, but we are doing ourselves a disservice by pretending it doesn't.
Here is a simple 3-step process to tease out the reason why certain words hurt more than others and help you to identify the source of the hurt. Is it the words themselves, who is saying them, or who is hearing the words when they are spoken?
All three of those possibilities can add to the feeling of hurt. When you are able to recognize the different components causing the hurt, it will be much easier to tap to gain relief.
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One of my favorite aspects of the tapping community is how willing people are to share their wisdom and experience. Recently I asked a number of practitioners I admire about how they approach healing, client work, and their own journey. Below are some of my favorite answers to one of those questions. Make sure you check out all five questions
What lessons have clients taught you about healing
If I just hold the space from the deepest part of myself, present to my depth, my darkness, my pain, my light, all of it unconditionally, HEALING HAPPENS AUTOMATICALLY through them. I'm not “doing” anything but allowing it. Kim D'Eramo, D.O.
I always say my clients are the experts and I am the educated guide. I learn where to go and where not to go. I am always respectful that my thoughts are different from my clients' thoughts. If I ask what bothers them about work, I think they will say their boss or co-workers. I am surprised when they say the commute. So, I have learned to keep asking questions, keep exploring and being a detective to understand what this situation and emotion is for them. Robin Bilazarian, LCSW
I've learned that self-judgment of our uncomfortable emotions prevents them from processing naturally like they are designed to do. This is the brilliance of the EFT setup statement. We start with simply stating the truth. Of course, it's not always that simple because we aren't often honest with ourselves – or it's not conscious – about what we are feeling and why. We get to tap on that confusion, the ruses, the excuses, and the truth then presents itself. As soon as we clear the judgment, shame, lack of acceptance of and resistance to pain, the rest of the clearing often happens quite organically. It's always been easier to see this self-judgment in my clients than myself. It's led me to take my own advice and that has made a tremendous difference for me. Kris Ferraro
I learned that no matter how much I know or how much I want to give and support someone in their healing journey, they will receive only up to the point that they are ready to receive. Thus, whatever I have to offer, I give it with all my heart and allow the person to receive what he/she can receive. It will be perfect. Deborah D Miller
I have learned four lessons. People are much stronger than they seem. Motivation is key to healing. People aren't as self-aware as they might believe. Clients notice what's happening in the heart of the therapist more than it might seem, so authenticity is key. Jake Khym
I have learned to respect their healing path and to respond with patience. I've learned to set my agenda aside and keep meeting them where they are each time. When I do this, we make progress–not on my timetable but on theirs. Ange Finn
What I’m learning from clients now is that psychological and emotional safety is the number one condition for healing. That psychological/emotional safety is a much more ‘slippery’ deal than we realize. With the majority of clients they will say that they are experiencing safety, however that is a ‘conditioned safety’ or what I’m calling a ‘pseudo safety’ which has more in common with a nervous system chronically conditioned to a freeze response rather than a true embodied sense of safety. This makes the EFT conversation around psychological reversal enormously important. As well the conversation around the pace of the work with clients. Nancy Forester
Healing is possible even when they are and I am convinced it isn't. There is a deeper part of us that is always working to make us whole and when we can engage with it. Healing isn't just possible, it is inevitable. Steve Wells
I am always in awe of what /people are willing to do to become more of who they really are. Clients are willing to take the leap with someone they barely know and then share their deepest fears and trust that they will be safe. Mary Ayers
Especially when using Emotional Freedom Techniques, I have learned that the real issue isn’t always what the conscious mind thinks it is. A client will often present themselves in my office and tell me all about “their issue” only to later discover that it's really something quite different than what they thought. I have come to realize that the conscious mind often has little idea of what’s going on within the subconscious mind, which is where the actual issues reside.
Ted RobinsonOver the years I have had a few clients that completed the healing process only after I suggested they acknowledge that I am not their “healer”. They had gotten to a plateau and only after we worked on their ability to recognize that it was their own bodies that were doing the healing did they finish the process. The part of EFT that is so empowering is that much can be done on one’s own. Alina Frank
I have learnt that rapport is key. When a client feels accepted and connected for who they are, great healing occurs. Tania A Prince
Sometimes you need the courage to cry. I had been working with a client who had suffered emotional abuse from an OCD parent through all their schooling years. Every day they would put on a brave face to cope with school and the scorn and judgment of teachers and students.
After a number of tapping sessions, the control required to get through each day was slipping but the old habit of holding on to the mask was still strong. Eventually, as we tapped on the fear of letting go and the courage it had taken to survive all those years the release of tension and shame resulted in a much-needed release of tears and stress from their whole body. It takes great courage to let go and cry and we can help ourselves and others to find the courage required to do so within themselves.
Rod Sherwin
Before doing this I didn't understand the difference between compassion fatigue and burnout. I thought compassion fatigue was just a specific type of burnout experienced by helpers and healers.
In reality, compassion fatigue is not only different, but can be much more serious than burnout.
To understand compassion fatigue more I interviewed licensed mental health professional Robin Bilazarian. Robin has experience of working with countless clients who are in danger of being traumatized by working with people who are in trouble.
In this podcast Robin and I talk about:
At one point in the conversation we discuss how a forgiveness practice can be helpful in combating compassion fatigue. You can find that resource here.
Even if you are not a professional helper, if you are a person who helps others in your personal life, I strongly recommend you listen to this episode.
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Guest: Robin Bilazarian LCSW, DCSW, DCEP
Contact: Web @ RobinEFT.net
About: Robin Bilazarian is a licensed mental health professional who has been tapping with her clients for 24 years. In addition to her private practice, she worked 20 hours a week serving the staff of an urban hospital, frequently assisting with compassion fatigue and other issues with the hospital staff, physicians and medical students.
In her hospital work Robin regularly helps people who have NOT come to her because she is a tapping practitioner. In fact, most of her clients at the hospital and in her clinical practice have never heard of tapping before walking into her office. She has also toured the USA teaching other psychotherapists how to bring EFT and tapping into their clinical practice.