Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #50: Business, Work, Stress and Trauma w/ Rick Wilkes

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We spend a great number of our waking hours at work. Not only do our working hours consume our time but also our emotions and our energy. In this interview with Rick Wilkes we talk about how stress and trauma in our personal and professional lives can affect our ability to be healthy and successful in our work. We talk about ways of discovering how these past traumas are impacting us now and how we can use tapping to clear them, enabling us to be more present in the moment.


Rick Wilkes

Guest: Rick Wilkes, LMT

Contact Info: thrivingnow.com, Rick@Thrivingnow.com, 1-304-284-0711 or 1-888-222-3856

Bio: Rick Wilkes is an EFT practitioner based in Morgantown, WV. Over the last six years Rick has worked with over 1500 clients. He works regularly with individuals and with his Thriving Now Groups.

Here's what one of Rick's loyal clients says: “Working with Rick Wilkes both privately and on team calls has helped me greatly to release the past, move more confidently into the future, and mostly to be more joyfully present in the now. Rick’s open-hearted broader perspective, amazing intuition, and great sense of humor always help me to get right to the core and effectively reframe whatever issue I have. Listening to him work with others has helped me to get in touch with stuff I didn’t even know was there and inspired me in my own work with others. It is a blessing and honor to work with such a master.”
Links & Resources From Episode:

Round Up – What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?

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There is a wealth of information in the tapping community. From time to time I ask practitioners I respect their thoughts on tapping, healing, and their work. (I “round up” their opinions.) This happens about once a month. You can read past round-ups.

If you would like to check out my answer to this question (and more) you can download “Recovering Self: A Healing Manifesto“. (For free w/o having to sign up for anything.)

What is something you have changed your mind about when it comes to healing, working with clients, or your own transformation process?

I not longer believe in the one-minute wonder. Looking at my own transformation I can see that it was a life-long endeavor. If a person makes a seemingly instantaneous pivot, it is because they had already done the inner preparation. More likely, people seek aid when they truly believe they are stuck. They hear about the one-minute wonder and look for that magic bullet that will save them the inner transformation process. When they don't get it, some people can become disappointed. Most however, realize that it is worth the effort.
Chip Engelmann

Try to force change with affirmations doesn't work: No one likes to be told what to do. Trying to force change by tapping in positive affirmation usually results in more resistance to change. Instead, I would rather tapping on the resistance and barriers to change and then test if the affirmation feels real rather than trying to beat it in to me.

This also applies to the more extreme forms of personal change where the consequence of not changing are magnified to cause you so much pain that your system cannot stay there and instead you must go to a different place.

There are much more gentle ways to make change with out the fear, drama, and intensity.
Rod Sherwin

I used to believe that everyone wants to heal as quickly as possible, butthat just isn't true. The blocks and reversals that go along with chronic conditions stand in the way of full alignment between the subconscious and conscious choice to heal quickly.
Alina Frank

I used to work from a very “now”, place with therapy, working with strategies and cognitions. Then I found great benefit in working with the feelings and regressing back to the deep past and helping people change their perceptions. However now I am drawn to working in the “now” and looking for ways that the mind/ body can heal itself.

So for me, my transformation process has been all about how can we bring about deep healing in the most simple and effective way. It makes sense to me that the mind/ body system would have an auto heal, a reset button. Our role as therapists is to find this process.
Tania A Prince

When I first started working with clients, I was very intent on being totally present and very observant. I think I was afraid I would miss some all-important signals, and therefore shortchange my clients.

Over time I came to realize that the more relaxed I am, the more easily I can tune in to the client's needs and my own intuition. Then I can be of service at the highest level possible and participate in the healing process more fully. The more relaxed I am, the more relaxed and trusting my clients are, enabling them to open up faster, go deeper, and speed up their own healing process. Who knew that could all come from me relaxing more?
Janet Hilts

I used to think that the whole tapping process should always be free of charge, after all, no high cost tools are involved and no additional degrees are needed to be a fairly efficient tapper.

Some how while I thought that way, none of my clients really made any progress. It was at about the $60 threshold that they began to feel the improvements, mind shifting, etc,.. Now at about $120 per session, I am inundated with one or two session miracles where before I was taking on similar issues with 4 to 7 sessions. Did I do anything different? Maybe, but I am still the same old enthusiastic and humorous tapper that I ever was.
Till Schilling

I used to believe that it was possible to heal without experiencing any pain, and if we were intentional about our healing and growth process, we could grow without discomfort. I no longer believe that – instead, I think that discomfort shows us where we need to heal, and gives us opportunities. We can remove discomfort and pain (that's what healing is all about, both emotional and physical) but we don't grow if we never experience it.
Pamela Bruner

How would you answer this questions? Let us know!

An Unexpected Place To Start With Physical Pain

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Recently one of my clients, “Ann,” who wanted to do some Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) for her ankle, contacted me. She had been jogging in a park. Because of the way the grass had grown she did not see a large hole. She stepped into it and went down hard.

Fortunately for Ann she did not rip or break anything. However, she was in a great deal of pain and was told that she needed to be on crutches for two weeks to give the ankle a chance to heal.

As it turned out, we had a chance to do some tapping five days after she had hurt herself. At first glance you would have thought that we would have started with the physical pain and the physical healing process. Instead we started with emotions around the injury itself and how she felt about it at that moment.

I took this approach for two reasons. First, I am not a doctor and physical injury is not my expertise. Second, even though I have no proof, I believe that if we are spending energy on emotions (like overwhelm and worry) then we are spending resources that could be used for the physical healing process. We can also create secondary gain issues around not having the injury heal.

Our tapping sessions happened in 5 steps.

Embarrassment
To begin with, I had Ann take a few deep breaths and tune-in to all that had happened. I had her think about how she hurt herself and how everything had unfolded since the fall. She reported that she felt embarrassed.

I asked her if she felt embarrassed because she fell while simply running on seemingly flat ground. Ann said, “No, I am more embarrassed by the fact that I am on crutches and everywhere I go people ask me about what happened.”

You will notice that my initial thought was wrong. I was injecting my perceptions of what I would personally find embarrassing into her moment. Remember, whenever you are tapping with someone who says they feel a certain emotion it is good to ask them why they feel that emotion.

Once Ann had identified that she was embarrassed by the attention she was getting we tapped on:

  • People are asking because they are concerned and care
  • This will only happen for a short period of time
  • In a few weeks no one is going to remember

Missing Running In The Fall
After we had cleared the embarrassment I again asked Ann what emotion was dominant now. She reported a little sadness. When pressed on why she was sad she said that she really enjoyed running at this time of year and felt the injury was causing her to miss an opportunity.

So we tapped on:

  • Appreciating the fact that she has run during this time of year in the past
  • Running isn't the only thing she can do outside at this time of year
  • That because she can't run this time of year it is helping her to realize that she can do lots of other things in this weather besides just running
  • It was only temporary

Breaking Down
Once the feeling of sadness was clear I asked again what she was feeling. She said that she was realizing that she wasn't as young as she once was. Now she is starting to break down physically.

So we tapped on:

  • Aging is a reality
  • But she is in better shape today than she was 10 years earlier because of the fact that she had been running on a regular basis
  • A moment like this gives her a chance to recognize that her health is a blessing
  • It is a reminder that she needs to keep working to maintain her health and well-being
  • She was going to bounce back from this much faster because she was in shape. When she started running again she wouldn't be in the exact same shape, but she wouldn't have lost as much as she thought.

Appreciating The Healing Process
Ann then reported that there wasn't an emotional charge left so we moved on.

The next thing I had her do was to tune-in to the physical pain itself. I had her think about the whole ankle area. After having her tune-in to the level of pain and to the type of pain I had her concentrate on the work the body was already doing. We tapped on something like this:

Right now my body is healing in many ways . . . most of these ways are happening on a subconscious and unconscious level . . . I love the fact that my body is able to do so much healing in big and small ways without me having to think about it . . . I know my body has been working day and night to continue the healing process . . . I give my system permission to continue this healing process . . . I know that if it needs anything it can just ask.

After tapping in this fashion Ann reported feeling even more at peace.

What Does The Space Need
Finally, after all of this we did some work on the actual physical pain. Ann said that there was a feeling of pressure coming from the inside of the ankle. She reported that it felt like a conflict between the flesh around her ankle that was swelling to heal and the compression of the wrap that was helping the healing process.

So we tapped on:

I appreciate the fact that my ankle is swelling to be able to heal . . . but I want my ankle to know that it is not the only part of my system that is working for my ankle's health . . . I am adding compression to my ankle to help the healing process . . . by doing this I am using the intellect and advice of my medical team . . . to insure that I am healing at the right rate . . .

After tapping in this fashion she asked her ankle what else it needed in that space. Ann reported that it needed support on the inside, “Kind of like little crutches on the inside.” As she tapped she imagined that happening.

At that point she reported that her ankle felt much better.

It is important to note that she did not jump up and start dancing on the ankle. The healing process was not done, we had just helped it along. I encouraged her to keep tuning-in to the emotions around the injury and to keep tapping for the ankle.

If you are interested in a longer conversation about how to tap for pain and how to manage pain, check out Tapping For Physical Pain w/ Carol look and Pain Is Not Real w/ Dan Cleary.

Writing Articles To Build Your Practice – Part 3: Picking a Topic and Starting

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I know creating free content is a great way to show your competence and experience as a practitioner. You create so much stuff for your site and other sites. I would love to start to write stuff about tapping but don't know where to begin. How do you come up with ideas, and what is your process for writing?

photo by Gene Wilburn

In part 1 of this series we looked at what to keep in mind before starting. In part 2 we looked at the types of articles you can write. Now let's take a look at picking a topic and what you can do to make the writing process easier.

[All three parts of this series can be found @ content creation series]

Coming Up With Topics
Earlier I talked about ways of coming up with content for Q and A articles. Here is a more comprehensive list of the places I get ideas for all types of articles:

    Questions from readers: The first time I had an article published in Gary's newsletter I received 20 questions from his readers. Not all of them were enough to write full articles about, but I got some great ideas from their questions. Also, just because it comes to you as a question doesn't mean it has to be a question-and-answer type article. You can use the question to generate the idea for a regular article.

    Things that come up from client sessions: Almost every client session I have ever done sparked the idea for an article or tapping script. This doesn't mean that I want to write about all of them, but it provides real-world examples of what you could write about.

    Things I learn in my own tapping: I have found it much harder to come up with ideas from my own tapping because as I am tapping I am tuning-in to my issues and not thinking about content. With that being said, some of my best ideas have come from my own healing journey.

    Other sources of self-help material: Look at Anne Landers' web site. Read articles and comments on other self-help websites. Read self-help forums (not just tapping-based ones). People are going to forums looking for advice. Whenever people are seeking help ask yourself, “How would I help this person with tapping?” I came up with 25 tapping scripts from the ideas found in the comments section of a blog that asked, “Why is it hard to love yourself?” The same is true for self-help sections of bookstores. Just look at the titles. Read the titles. Write a tapping article on the same subjects.

    I ask my readers what they want to know more about I did a readers survey in March and just asked them what topics they wanted covered. I ended up with a list 30 deep of topics.

    Offer to tap for people: Every day I spend some time tapping for my readers’ needs. Each week I asked for surrogate tapping requests in my newsletter. Again, real world issues that I could write about.

When you start to think in terms of “Where are the topics I could write about?” you start to notice them everywhere. I carry a small notebook with one page dedicated to possible topics. When an idea comes, I jot it down. Then when I sit down to write I get the list out and see what is striking my fancy on that day.

Knowing when it is okay to move on
Just because you start writing something doesn't mean you need to finish writing it. That seems obvious, but it can be really easy to get wrapped-up in the idea that we have already spent so much time on this piece that we can't quit. We think, “If I give up on this piece I will have wasted time that could have been used for other things. I must make this effort worthwhile by finishing this.”

First, in my mind, spending time working on a new idea is never a waste of time. The process of working with a new idea makes me better at writing as well as better at explaining things to clients. Sometimes the only fruit of a writing session is I now know that this is not the way I want to explain this topic.

Second, not everything needs to be shared. The article you are reading was started during a writing session when I was working on something completely different. I really thought it was going to be a good idea. (It was going to be an article inspired by this Joey Roth print which hangs in my office.)

After about 20 minutes it was obvious that it wasn't going to work. As I was coming to terms with the fact that it wasn't going to work, the idea of this article popped into my mind. Sometimes a false start will lead us to a topic we wouldn't have found otherwise.

Third, just because it isn't working today doesn't mean it is not going to work. I have a whole folder filled with nothing more than started and half-finished articles. Every few weeks I sift through them. Sometimes I pick something up from the past because I have a new insight, sometimes I am inspired to write something new based on the false start, and sometimes I just think, “Yeah, there is a reason this never got finished.”

Don't feel like you need to finish everything you start in this writing session. Be easy with yourself, considering that this is not a linear process.

Create A Writing Schedule
I have time set aside every day to write. This is one of the few nonnegotiable tasks in my day. It might happen at a time it was not planned, but it will happen. I know I write better when I do it regularly and I am more likely to end up with work I am happy with if I am constantly working at it.

I am not saying that you need to write every day. If you are just starting out that might be too much. Even if you are just going to spend 45 minutes once a week writing, that is a perfect start. It is going to get you in the habit of doing it. By making it a habit you are saying it is important.

There are two choices that have transformed my website the most in the last three years. One of them is a regular writing schedule.

Get Feedback From People You Trust
Writing articles is something you are going to get better at over time IF you are willing to get better at it. After you have written a few things let some friends or trusted colleagues take a look at your work. When you do this, ask them for some very specific feedback.

Here are the normal questions I ask people who are reviewing my work:

  • Does the article make logical sense?
  • Is any of it too long or too short?
  • What is the strength of the article?
  • What could use improvement?

By asking very specific questions you are going to ensure you get the feedback that is most helpful to you in the process of getting better at writing stuff.

I always love reading other people’s stuff. If you would like some feedback on something you have written let me know.

Do something now!
Writing isn't something that happens on its own. It is something you have to do.

It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be complete. It doesn't even need to end up as something that others see.

But you should write something.

It will get you closer to a great finished product that will make someone else’s life and healing journey easier.

Pod #49: Being Full Present In The Moment w/ Ted Robinson

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One of the biggest challenges of the modern world is being fully present in the moment. Our attention seems constantly to be pulled in a million directions between the media we consume (even if it is just constantly chattering in the background), our loved ones, all the tasks that need to be done during the day, and everything we would like to achieve for our own growth. Being present in this moment is very challenging. In this interview with Ted Robinson we talk about how being present in the moment can benefit us and how we can use tapping to help us to achieve this state.

 

Ted Robinson

Guest: Ted Robinson

About Ted: Ted is a criminal defense lawyer and the director of the Center For Inner Healing on Long Island in NY. He is the author of a number of books, faculty for the National Guild of Hypnotists, and regularly works with clients one-on-one. Ted is also the host of a weekly TV show which is devoted to helping people be present in the current moment.

Contact: web @ centerforinnerhealing.com/; e-mail @ ted@centerforinnerhealing.com; phone @ (516) 248-5346

Links from this episode:

Speaking The Truth

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I have to have a very difficult conversation with my boyfriend. It is something that I have needed to do for a really long time, but I can't bring myself to do it because I am so scared. What can I do tapping-wise to make this easier?

photo by Anders Adermark

Speaking the truth can be a hard thing to do. Sometimes we are worried that we are going to hurt someone else with our words. Other times we are worried that they are going to be mad at us. These feelings are natural because we want to keep others safe and we want to keep ourselves safe.

Here are three of the things you can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping on before you talk to your friend to make it easier. Before each round of tapping, check to see how much of a concern each of these three areas are. If you haven't cleared the worry, do the tapping again.

Tapping to ease your nerves:

The conversation that I am going to have might be hard . . . I am going to have to say things that the other person might not want to hear . . . I am going to be saying things that are going to be hard to say . . . I choose to know that I need to have this conversation . . . I have been carrying this around for a long time . . . it is a burden that I need to let go of so I can heal and grow . . . to become who I truly am . . . even though it is going to be hard . . . by saying what needs to be said . . . I am going to get my thoughts and feelings out . . . the person I need to talk to will know where I truly stand . . . this will make moving forward an easier task

Tapping to communicate well:

One of the reasons this might be hard is that I don't know the exact right words to say . . . or how to say what needs to be said . . . there are moments where it feels like I have a million things that need to be said all at once . . . while other times I have no idea what needs to be said at all . . . it is okay that I don't know exactly what I need to say . . . I am going to give the other person a chance to ask questions . . . I am going to give the other person a chance to say how they understand what I just said . . . give me a chance to clarify anything that is misunderstood . . . this is not a speech that needs to be just right . . . but a conversation that has give-and-take in it . . . it is okay if I prepare notes before the conversation . . . I can even bring my notes for when we talk . . . so I make sure I share everything I need to share . . . the way I say it doesn't have to be perfect . . . what is important is that I am understood . . . and I understand where they are coming from . . . it will be a conversation . . . and that is good

Tapping to speak from only a place of love and kindness:

It is important that I share the truth . . . but it is possible for me to share the truth in a compassionate way . . . this does not mean that I am softening what I am going to say . . . or that I am holding back what needs to be said . . . but it is possible to say things in a compassionate way that is still truthful . . . I can consider how I would like to hear this type of truth from a friend . . . I am not responsible for how they react to the truth . . . their emotional state is their choice and their responsibility . . . but I can share what needs to be shared in the spirit of love . . . of loving myself . . . and loving others.

Writing Articles To Build Your Practice – Part 2: Types of Articles

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I know creating free content is a great way to show your competence and experience as a practitioner. You create so much stuff for your site and other sites. I would love to start to write stuff about tapping but don't know where to begin. How do you come up with ideas, and what is your process for writing?


photo by churl

In part 1 of this series we looked at things to keep in mind before starting. Now that you are a little more comfortable with knowing you don't have to do everything all at once, let's take a look at the different types of articles you can write.

[Once published all three parts of this series can be found @ content creation series]

Here is an incomplete list of the types of articles you could write.

Question and Answer
I obviously have a soft spot for this type of article because it is where I got my writing start when it comes to the topic of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping.

The reason this is a great place to start is because you are already doing this. When you talk about tapping, people are asking you questions. You are better at answering questions than you think.

There are a number of advantages to a Q and A article.

First, it helps you to focus. When we are answering a question, the agenda and direction of the article is set for us. We are just filling in the gaps of the missing information.

Second, the reader knows where it is going. When we start with a question it becomes very clear what the goal of the article is and a reader knows if it is for them or not.

Third, it is easier to begin. Often times I have a hard time writing the opening paragraph or two of an article. I know what the meat of the article is going to be, but I don't know how to get there. When you start with a question you don't have to spend a great deal of time getting to the topic. You can just start with the information you know.

There are a number of ways to come up with questions:

  • What questions do you get the most frequently from people you are talking about tapping with? If you are getting the question a lot, then you know there is interest in the topic.
  • What questions did you have about tapping? Explain what you learned. Telling our own story is a great way to get into explaining something.
  • Is there a topic you want to write about but don't know where to begin? Come up with a question that focuses you. Forty percent (40%) of the Q and A articles on this site are questions I make up just to focus my writing.
  • Look at the forums and comment sections of other websites. Even if those aren't questions that have been posed directly to you, they obviously are questions that people have. Visit the EFT forum and in 10 minutes you will find four or five topics that you could write about.

Response Articles
Another very easy way to start writing is to respond to what someone else had written. You can either respond to an article as a whole or you can break it down into parts to explain how you see the issue.

For example, in The Growing Up Method I took a three-step process created by Natalie Hill and gave my take on each of the three steps. My goal was to take something that I thought was really well explained and add my own insights to what she presented.

In Past, Present, Future Daimon Sweeny writes a very nice reflection on a very short podcast I recorded. I'm sure his process was nothing more than, “Hey this is kind of interesting, but I also think this…”

Case Studies
A case study is nothing more than explaining

  • What issue a client or friend came to you with
  • How you responded
  • Why you did what you did
  • What the results were

This is one of the easiest types of articles because you are just retelling what happened.

Here is a shorter and longer examples of this type of article.

Tapping Scripts
Everyone loves tapping scripts. One of the most overwhelming parts of tapping for beginners is knowing what to say when they are tapping. Not only are you making it easier for someone to work with their issue when you create a tapping script for them, but you are also training them to do this on their own.

When we are working with clients the words just seem to come. Right after a session, take a few moments to write down some of the tapping scripts you just used. I have gotten to the point where I can write a script in under 10 minutes.

Even if you have nothing else on your site, a new tapping script once a week will be very valuable to readers that will keep them coming back for more.

Conclusion
So, these are just a few types of articles you can write. In Part 3 we are going to look at starting the writing process.

Pod #48: EFT For Physical Issues w/ Carol Look

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Tapping is great for physical pain and physical issues. When most people are introduced to tapping they learn to deal with pain by tapping on “this pain in my knee…this pain in my knee…this pain in my knee”. In this interview with Carol Look we examine more advanced ways to look at the emotions associated with physical pain and how in many cases when we deal with the emotional issues we find our way to physical relief.
[Read more…] about Pod #48: EFT For Physical Issues w/ Carol Look

Round up – What lessons have you learned about healing from a client?

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There is a wealth of information in the tapping community. From time to time I ask practitioners I respect their thoughts on tapping, healing, and their work. (I “round up” their opinions.) This happens about once a month. You can read past round-ups.

If you would like to check out my answer to this question (and more) you can download “Recovering Self: A Healing Manifesto“. (For free w/o having to sign up for anything.)

What lessons have you learned about healing from a client?

Especially when using Emotional Freedom Technique, I have learned that the real issue isn't always what the conscious mind thinks it is. A client will often present themselves in my office and tell me all about “their issue” only to later discover that its really something quite different than what they thought. I have come to realize that the conscious mind often has little idea of what's going on within the subconscious mind, which is where the actual issues reside.
Ted Robinson

I learn lessons from my clients all the time. The best ones are about new ways of seeing things. When I hear what their limiting beliefs are, it gives me new insight into helping others. The most important thing that I've learned from working with clients over and over is not to judge where we start, just to go with it. This for me is the core of energy work.
Pamela Bruner

Over the years I have had a few clients that completed the healing process only after I suggested they acknowledge that I am not their “healer”. They had gotten to a plateau and only after we worked on their ability to recognize that it was their own bodies that were doing the healing did they finish the process. The part of EFT that is so empowering is that much can be done on one's own.
Alina Frank

I have learnt that rapport is key. When a client feels accepted and connected for who they are, great healing occurs.
Tania A Prince

I've learned much from working with EFT with children with cancer. Mostly how one can shift anything, from fear of needles to intense unsupportable pain, in a short period of time. That much laughter is involved in our sessions that makes the whole process more fun. For me, the time to suffer is over and that healing can be and is fun.

What I wasn't expecting to learn, but these children taught me, is that sometimes the healing takes place but the body does not follow suit and get better. In fact, these children passed on, but with such a deep sense of love, joy and peace in their hearts. That was the healing. The children reaffirmed that life is in the moment and it is to be savored. Love yourself, others and life now.
Deborah D Miller

I've learned so many lessons from clients. A big one I've learned from many clients is that we can never predict the far-reaching good consequences of healing one issue. I worked with a 62-year-old who was almost illiterate, clearing the shame and anxiety that had blocked her from learning despite repeated attempts through the years. I got a call from her saying, “I feel like a grown-up for the first time in my life. Do you know how good that feels? I never realized that I had always felt like a little kid because I couldn't read.” She said she trusts her judgment much more now because she feels like an adult. What a gift! And nobody could have predicted that outcome from working on inability to read.
Janet Hilts

Sometimes you need the courage to cry: I had been working with a client who had suffered emotional abuse from an OCD parent through all their schooling years. Everyday they would put on a brave face to cope with school and the scorn and judgment of teachers and students.

After a number of tapping session, the control required to get through each day was slipping but the old habit of holding on to the mask was still strong. Eventually, as we tapped on the fear of letting go and the courage it had taken to survive all those years the release of tension and shame resulted in a much-needed release of tears and stress from their whole body.

It takes great courage to let go and cry and we can help ourselves and others the courage required to do so within themselves.
Rod Sherwin

I used to think that anybody that said they wanted to heal would benefit from energy healing, but to heal, you must really be ready.

I've helped people who are skeptics or reluctant to use energy healing, but it doesn't matter, they didn't have to believe in the energy healing they just needed to be ready and willing to heal and I have helped them to heal and move on (often making rapid transformations in their lives). I've also helped others who believe it will work BUT it doesn't work for them, because they are not ready. You can't truly heal unless you are ready to let go – that is the one thing that is non-negotiable.
Mel

Perseverance.

A client comes to me after about a years worth of running from one doctor to another seeking relief for his Tinnitus. Researching on the Web he finds EFT and applies it immediately. Partial relief is obtained, but still no end of his Tinnitus in sight. So he digs deeper and finds out more about EFT on his own. After 4 months and no additional relief, he decided to consult a practitioner.

After 2 EFT sessions his Tinnitus has disappeared, the emotional link to his Mothers death via an accident where hindsight always is 20/20 is realized and a deep sigh brings relief of his Tinnitus.

What was admirable, was that this was a humble man from the countryside with barely an 7th grade education and scarce means to afford a practitioner. His desire to get rig of his Tinnitus made him go the distance and learn the basics about tapping for many other issues now as well.
Till Schilling

How would you answer this questions? Let us know!

Pod #47: Adding Creative Imagination To Tapping w/ Betty Moore-Hafter

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One of the things I love about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is how flexible the tool set is. Not only is it a great stand-alone tool, but it is something that can be used with lots of other tools. In this interview I talk with Betty Moore-Hafter about the lessons she has learned from other tool sets and how you can easily add them into your own tapping. This is easy stuff that anyone can do.

 

Betty Moore-Hafter

Guest: Betty Moore-Hafter

Contact: web @ CreativeEFT.com; phone 802-860-7286; twitter @creativeeft

About Betty: Betty has been certified as a hypnotherapist through the National Guild of Hypnotists (NGH) and certified as a regression therapist through the International Board of Regression Therapy (IBRT). She holds special certifications in Past Life Regression (from Dr. Brian Weiss), Medical Hypnotherapy, Emergency Hypnosis, Reiki, Psychosynthesis (Levels I & II), and Spirit Releasement Therapy. She has completed the extensive Training Videos for EFT proficiency and also has some unique EFT experiences in her credentials. She holds the EFT Cert-1 Certification. Betty is also part of the leadership team that manages EFT Free Net.

Pod #46: EFT Inner RePatterning w/ Tania A. Prince

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One of the biggest hang-ups my clients have when tapping on their own is knowing what tune into and how to find past memories or core issues. Tania A Prince has developed a very easy process that only requires the person who is doing Emotional Freedom Techniques to tune into how they know they have the issue. It is really that easy. In this interview Tania explains EFT Inner RePatterning and how to do it.

 

Tania A. Prince

Guest: Tania A. Prince EFT Master

Contact: web @ eft-courses.co.uk, e-mail @ contact page

Biography: Tania is an EFT Master, (one of less than thirty in the world). She has extensive experience of using EFT with clients and has worked on a vast range of issues, including fear of public speaking, blushing, panic attacks, success coaching, phobias, depression, addictions, anxiety, weight management, agoraphobia and serious illnesses, etc. She works from two clinics in Cheshire, England as well as working with clients throughout the UK and internationally via the phone. Her work has been featured on TV and radio shows both in the UK and abroad. She presents regularly at major international conferences and is a TAT Professionals Trainer.

Coming Up With A More Accurate Description of How You Feel: Part 3 Physical and Emotional Needs

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photo by Scott Ableman

We know the more specific we are when describing the issue, the faster we are going to find relief. Sometimes we think we are being specific when we really are not being as specific as possible.

Most of the time when I am working with a client and I ask them how they are feeling at any given point in the session I am given a one-word answer. “Angry.” “Sad.” “Confused.” I normally will ask a follow-up question along the lines of “[insert emotion] how?”

The reason I do this is because there are many different shades to emotions. There is “angry = I need space” and “angry = I need to punch the wall.” The clearer we are with the particular shade of the emotion, the easier it is going to be to clear it out.

Below you will find a list of physical and emotional needs created by The Center For Nonviolent Communication. This list can be very helpful when you are trying to describe what you would like to achieve. It is not enough to say, “I want to be happy.” Figure out what happy means to you. I would keep this list handy when tapping. Just read through the list and see which emotions ring true at the moment.

[h/t to Rod Sherwin's blog for pointing out this resource.]

CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect		 CONNECTION continued
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and be understood
trust
warmth

PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water

 HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presence

PLAY
joy
humor

PEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity

 MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
to matter
understanding

(c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication
Website: www.cnvc.org Email: cnvc@cnvc.org
Phone: +1.505-244-4041

Why Work With A Practitioner and What Characteristics To Look For

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Gene, You have so many great resources on your web site. Aren't you worried you are going to put yourself out of business? Why would someone hire you (or any practitioner for that matter) when they can get so many free resources online at your site and other sites like EFT Universe?

photo by msspider66

This is a question I get quite a bit. But I think it has the exact opposite effect. I think there are four reasons why someone would work with a practitioner and I believe my web presence only helps me when it comes time for someone to pick a practitioner because I hope I am demonstrating these qualities.

Here are the four reasons why I work a practitioner (because I go to someone for my own work):

Expertise
There is more to Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping than just knowing the tapping points and the set up phrases. The basic recipe is a great place to start and for most people it is the only tapping tool they are going to need. But there are going to be times when the basic recipe is not enough to quickly knock out an issue.

For example, tapping is great for dealing with cravings, but it might take a very long time to knock out the root cause of the craving by only tapping on the symptom – the craving itself. Because of the training a qualified practitioner has, they are going to be able to cut to the quick on an issue like this. They are more than likely going to knock out the issue in just one session.

I think Gary Craig's assertion that the basic recipe is enough to take care of any issue is correct but for some issues there are much faster ways of healing. By working with a skilled practitioner their expertise is going to speed-up the healing process.

Experience
One of the benefits of working with an experienced practitioner is knowing that they have been down this road before and they are not going to be surprised by the possible outcomes.

I can remember the first time with a tapping client where there was a very unexpected jump. We were doing some work on a craving and all of a sudden we were talking about a very traumatic event from the client's childhood. Even though this jump was something that was unexpected, because of the training and experience I had with age regression from my hypnosis training it didn't catch me off guard.

An experienced practitioner is going be able to work with many different issues and know how to deal with something that is unexpected. In addition to begin able to work with the unexpected they are also going to be able to know when they are in over their head. I think knowing when you are not qualified to work with something is a very important skill to have. Experience doesn't guarantee that a practitioner has learned this skill, but they are more likely to understand this point of view.

Distance
One of the great skills that any practitioner has isn't really a skill at all. The simple fact that they are not caught-up in the client’s emotions means that the practitioner is going to see the situation much more clearly.

This is the reason we go to our friends for advice. Sometimes we even seek advice from friends in areas that we know more than they do, but we know that their outside point of view is going to see things we can't. I have had client sessions where I was able to help a client heal and transform with one simple observation.

I was recently working with a client who has been dealing with Lyme disease for a number of years. While tapping on how his body was dealing with it I suggested, “Maybe the system is trying as hard as it can and it is just really tired. That is why it is not being as successful as it could be.”

He said, “Wow! That is a completely new way of looking at this. I have been so mad at my body for not doing better. It never crossed my mind that it was really trying hard and that I need to support its work. I need to stop beating it up.”

The interesting thing about this exchange was that right before I made my observation he had described his body as being like a damp, rung-out rag. I just took his metaphor and said it back to him in new words. My distance from the situation provided the insight.

There is a second way that distance server a good practitioner. When working with someone else, it frees you from having to think about how to deal with an issue and actually deal with the issue at the same time. This came to my attention with a recent client.

To start a tapping session we did a simple exercise that I like to call “clearing the decks.” It is a very simple few rounds of tapping where we tune-in to the whole constellation of emotions they are feeling in the moment, we thank the emotions for doing their job, and we let them know they have been heard. By doing this we end up with a much clearer mind with which to tune-in to the issue we want to work on.

After a few minutes of tapping I asked my client how she felt. She replied, “I feel much more clam. I try to do that exercise all the time, but I can't seem to get the same effect. When you lead me through that, I can just tap and not give it any thought. It is much easier to relax when that is the case.”

It is so much easier to focus on one thing. When working with someone else we don't have to worry about how we are going to deal with an issue. We can just sit back, tap along, and let the practitioner guide us.

Accountability Structure
If there weren't such a thing as resistance we would have already made the change. Resistance is a fact of life. There are lots of reasons why we don't do the tapping we need to do or why we don't do it as completely as we could. It can be scary to do the work on our own. It can be uncomfortable to tune-in to negative emotions. There are a million other things that we feel we need to do with our time.

By working with someone else we are creating an accountably structure to increase our progress. First, when we are working with someone else they can help us to push-through the resistance. We are more likely to do our daily tapping when we know we are going to have to report to someone else in our next sessions. A good practitioner is going to push us (gently) to look at aspects we wouldn't be brave enough to look at on our own. Finally, a skilled practitioner is going to keep looping back over the same issue again and again to make sure we have taken care of all of the aspects when we might stop work a little sooner on our own.

Not For Everyone and Not For Every Issue
One of the reasons I love tapping is because it puts an amazing tool at everyone's disposal. There are going to be times when we all need (myself included) to reach out to a skilled professional to help us move through an issue quickly and safely.

Writing Articles To Build Your Practice – Part 1: Before You Start

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I know creating free content is a great way to show your competence and experience as a practitioner. You create so much stuff for your site and other sites. I would love to start to write stuff about tapping but don't know where to begin. How do you come up with ideas, and what is your process for writing?

photo by churl

Before we get too far into answering this question, I want to make one thing very clear. You don't need to create as much content as I do. When it comes to content creation I am extreme. Some weeks I spend as much as 15 hours on content creation between the free resources I provide on this site and products I sell in the on-line store.

I create free content for three reasons (in no particular order):

  • It is a great way to build my reputation as a trusted expert. The more quality material I create the more proof I am providing that I can be trusted with client's time, money, and issues.
  • I learn something in the process. Many times when I think I am dashing-off a quick e-mail in response to a reader's question it turns into a 750 word article. When I am done writing I think, “Wow, I didn't realize I believed that?!?” I have found explaining what I know is a great way to learn new ideas and gain mastery over the knowledge.
  • I really enjoy it. Explaining difficult concepts in simple ways is something I enjoy. There are days when writing feels like a chore, but most days I love the process.

Some of my favorite Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping writers only create new content a few times a year. You don't need to write as much as I do for you to get some or all of the benefits listed above.

The goal is to get started. In the first year of this web site I wrote less than 20 articles (less than two a month). At the time it didn't seem like a lot, but if someone visited my site for the first time after that first year it looked like a more comprehensive site.

If you do a little bit every now and then you are going to be surprised (in a very pleasant way) with what you end up with.

We are going to look at this process in three parts. First, we are going to look at what to keep in mind when you are starting. Second, we are going to look at the different types of articles you can write. I have found it much easier to start when I have a more defined form or type of article to work within. Finally, we will look at how to pick a topic and how to start.

[Once published all three parts of this series can be found @ content creation series]

Getting started can be the hardest part. There are few things more intimidating than a blank page. There are endless possibilities but you don't know where start. Here a few things to keep mind.

It's called a first draft for a reason
We know what the finished product is supposed to look like. Even if we don't know what we are going to say we know the look, feel, and quality of a finished piece. When we start we don't have a finished product.

That's okay.

Your first draft is going to be rough. Things aren't going to be in the right order. You aren't going to explain things the way you’d like. You might not even know where you are going to end.

Sometimes the only thing that comes from a writing session is knowing how you are not going to explain something. The only way you are going to get to the finished product is to get the rough draft out of the way.

One of my favorite tricks is to turn off my monitor and just to start typing the article. This prevents me from being over-critical and going back to edit things while writing. By just letting it flow to begin with I can get the ideas out and then come back to polish it.

You don't need to explain everything all at once
One of the biggest mistakes writers make is trying to do too much in one article. Remember, the article you are working on right now is just one article. You don't need to do it all at once. The first article I ever wrote about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping wasn't about tapping at all. My first article was how to make tapping a part of your everyday routine.

I didn't talk about the tapping points. I didn't talk about psychological reversal. I didn't talk about the movie technique or the palace of possibilities. I chose a very narrow topic and explained it completely. When I try to do too much in a single article I end up not explaining anything very well. It's okay (and preferable) to choose a narrow topic.

If you are looking for a great example of effective short blog posts check out Seth Godin's blog. His entries are regularly less than 300 words.

Not everything is going to be great
Not every article you are going to write is going to be perfect. Not every article you write is going to be great. Not every idea you have is going to be earth-shattering.

That is okay.

Not every episode of The Simpsons is great. Not every movie directed by Spielberg is perfect. Not every resource on this site is amazing. (I know, it is hard to believe!).

This doesn't mean that we don't strive for excellence in our work, and this doesn't mean that we are satisfied with sharing crap. (There are articles that I have written that you will never see.)

One of the reasons I write articles is to get better at writing articles. From time to time I go back to re-read some of my earlier articles. It becomes (painfully) obvious how much better I am today at explaining things to my readers. Not only am I a better writer, but I know more because of my previous writings.

Not everything is going to be for everyone
Everything we write isn't going to perfect for everyone. When I write something I know that all six billion people of the world aren't going to read it, much less learn something from it.

When I started this site I was responding to an e-mail question I received. My thought was, “Instead of answering this question for one person, wouldn't it be cool if twenty five people read my response.”

There are times that I write things for a more general audience while other times I am writing for a much more specific audience. Take this article for example. Less than 15% of my readership is composed of actual EFT practitioners. I am okay knowing that the vast majority of the people who visit my site are not going to read these words.

If you write about a topic well, the right people are going to find their way to the article.

Even if you are writing something that has been written a hundred times before it doesn't mean the person who is reading it has read it before. You have access to people whom I will never have access to. Not only are you a unique voice in sharing information, you have unique avenues through which to share it.

Just know that you don't need to be all things to all people.

Conclusion
Now you know a few things to keep in mind before you start. In part 2 we will look at the types of articles you can write.

The Danger Of The Word “Need”

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photo by Omar MK

[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our mind, thereby giving us opportunity for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

Because of my training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), I listen very closely to the words that people use. My clients find this skill very useful because it is helpful in finding the logical errors in their speech which, in turn, helps us to find root causes of core issues. My friends, on the other hand, simply find it annoying (kind of like the verbal grammar police).

One of the words that I always focus-in on is the word “need”. Very rarely when we use the word “need” do we mean “need”.

Recently Leo Babauta wrote very elegantly on the topic of need on his blog Minimalist in the article Letting Go of Fake Needs:

Our lives are filled with things we need to do. Until we look a little more closely at those needs.

Think about what needs you might have: the need to check your email every 15 minutes, or empty your inbox, or read all your blogs, or keep something perfectly neat, or dress to work in the latest fashions. The need to constantly badger your kids about things, or control your co-workers, or meet with everyone who wants a meeting, or be wealthier and wealthier, or own a nice car.

Where do these types of needs come from? They’re completely made up.

Sometimes the needs are created by society: the industry you’re in requires you to work until 9 p.m. or dress in impeccable suits. Your neighborhood has certain standards and if you don’t have an impeccable lawn and two BMWs in the driveway, you’ll be judged. If you don’t have the latest iPhone, you won’t have your geek cred or status symbol, and you’ll be jealous of those who do.

Sometimes the needs are made up by ourselves: we feel the urge to check our emails or RSS feeds or news websites or text messages or Twitter accounts constantly, even though there is no negative societal or work consequences if we don’t keep up with them. We want a perfectly made up bed even if no one else cares. We want to create a list of goals in life or for the year and achieve every one of them, even if nothing bad will happen if we don’t achieve most of them.

This article clearly points out one of the ways we use the word “need” inaccurately. Most of the time when we use the word “need” we mean “really want.”

The problem with the word “need” isn't a problem of communication with others. When you say, “I need a cup of coffee,” I don't think you need coffee to live the same way you need oxygen to live. I know you are really saying, “I would really, really like a cup of coffee and the quality of my life will improve in the short term with a cup of coffee.”

The real problem with the word “need” is a problem of communication with ourselves. When we say we need something our system responds by trying to fill that desire as if it were an absolute.

If we take the body’s need for oxygen as an extreme example, we can quickly see how this can cause problems. When the body is without oxygen it will do anything it can to get it. Try to prevent your body from getting oxygen. No matter how hard you try you can't prevent your system from trying to get oxygen.

Even if you go under water to prevent getting oxygen, at a certain point the system is going to force your mouth open in an attempt to get what it needs. Obviously, in the example of being under water it is not going to work, as you will suck water into your lungs. Even with the conscious knowledge that opening your mouth under water to get oxygen is not only going to not give you oxygen, but will be harmful to your health, your system’s real need forces you to do it.

Our subconscious mind is very literal. It doesn't understand nuance. It doesn't understand the difference between “need” and “really, really want.” Each time we speak a desire we are giving a command to our system.

  • “I need coffee to get going in the morning.”
  • “I need to get this done before I move forward.”
  • “I need to get rid of this debt before I can start a long term relationship.”

With each of these statements you are creating a contract with yourself that part of your system is going to want to live up to. I am not saying that the entire system is going to spend all of its resources to live-up to these contracts the same way the system seeks oxygen, but it is going to strive to fulfill this named need.

Here is how the system responds to these simple statements.

  • I am going to spend part of my time and attention on finding coffee regardless what task is in front of me. AND, I am not going to believe I am not happy and ready for the day without coffee.
  • I am going to ignore any and all opportunities that present themselves for me to move towards my goals until I get everything done I feel I need to get done.
  • I am not going to start dating and sabotage any and every relationship until I get rid of this debt.

In all three examples there is a kernel of truth. A small caffeine boost can be helpful to start the day, being distracted by future projects can hinder us from getting done what needs to be done, and it is good to start a long-term relationship without a lot of personal debt.

I know you consciously understand these statements are not truly absolute terms.

The system doesn't notice these subtleties and this is where the problems begin.

To solve this problem all you need to do is pay attention to what you are saying. Every time you use the word “need,” transform the statement into a more accurate statement.

  • Most mornings I feel a lot better after my first cup of coffee. Today I have a feeling I will feel better after having some coffee.
  • It is really important that I don't get too wrapped-up in future projects while I still have tasks to get done.
  • It would be really nice to start my next long-term relationship without a huge amount of debt hanging over my head.

Those changes seem very small, but they make a big difference in the way we respond to our day.

If this is something you sometimes struggle with, here is a way you can use Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping to respond:

I say the phrase “I need” a lot . . . in most cases I don't really mean that I need something . . . but instead I really want something . . . I know there is a difference between these two ideas . . . but sometimes my system doesn't know the difference . . . there are going to be times in the future where I will say “I need” when what I really mean is “I want” . . . that is okay . . . right now my goal is just to be more observant of my speech . . . when I say “I need” I am going to take a minute to rephrase what I mean . . . by saying what I really mean . . . as I start to see the way I use the word “need” I am going to get better and better about what I am saying . . . as I start to describe my wants better . . . then I am going to set myself up for success . . . it is okay that I said “I need” too much in the past . . . now is the time to be more accurate with what I say . . . as I change this it will make moving forward easier and easier.

Pod #45: Three Step Approach To Surrogate Tapping w/ Gwyneth Moss

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One of the questions I get the most often into the site is about surrogate tapping. In this interview Gwyneth explains how she came to understand the power of surrogate tapping and a very elegant three step approach that anyone can do any time. Over the course of the interview we talk about surrogate tapping for animals as well as people. We even spend a little time talking about if we need to get permission to tap surrogately for someone else.


Gwyneth Moss

Guest: Gwyneth Moss

Contact: web @ EFThelps.com; email @ contact form; web @ Annual EFT Gathering

About Gwyneth: Gwyneth Moss is one of the original EFT Masters and the founder of the EFT Gathering annual community conference which has run since 2009. With a degree in Physics and an MBA she is known for the clarity and depth of her teaching style and for her innovative techniques which include EFT Imagineering; Protective Distancing; Projection Tapping; The Surrogate EFT Protocol and more. Gwyneth teaches EFT in the glorious countryside of Yorkshire and at Esalen, Big Sur, CA.

What more info on surrogate tapping:

Weight Loss with EFT against All Odds

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[Note From Gene: I have encountered a number of people who are willing to try Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT)/tapping, but because they don't get earth shattering results right away they give up. There are many times issues can be cleared up right away, but that is not always the case.

Here is a great example, by Lynne Shaner, of the power of tapping when it is applied in a systematic way and applied to many different aspects of the issues. In this example she uses tapping for the emotions she is feeling, the medical treatment she is receiving, and for the cravings. This is a model we can all learn from.]

    Lynne Shaner is an EFT practitioner and hypnotherapist. She is director of Praxis: Wellness in Life + Work and has a practice based in Washington DC, where she works with clients locally and by phone/skype.

photo by James Jordan

I work every day as an EFT practitioner, and reassure my clients that EFT works. I also use hypnotherapy—the two are beautiful together. But then, sometimes, my own concerns need to be worked on, and I find myself as worried as a newcomer—will this work? What should I say? This is a medical thing—-how can it work?

As ever, we try it on everything. Most recently, I had a perfect storm of problems that pointed to a bad outcome. EFT did work, I am happy to report—though it took persistence.

Last December, I was faced with a difficult situation. Because of a serious medical condition, I had to go on a massive dose of steroids. I had tried other approaches but the condition was not improving, so steroids were necessary. It was the holiday season, the season of wonderful, high-calorie food. I had just turned 51 and my doctor and just let me know that menopause was in full swing. And now I was on heavy-duty steroids. A prescription for significant weight gain. I was terrified that I would gain twenty or more pounds. I had just lost a few pounds, and needed to lose about 10 more. I told my doctor that I intended to do just that and he basically said that it was impossible, that mostly (in almost 100% of the cases he worked with) people gained weight on steroids; they never lost weight.

So—a challenge. I decided to make this into a test of EFT. What would I do if a client came to me with this concern? And what might be possible? The story ends on a good note—I lost weight (and the steroids and other EFT work did the job of fixing the medical problem.)

Here’s how it worked.

Addressing the Fear
First, I addressed all of the fears I had, tapping on every fear and worry I had. I used language like this:

Even though I am afraid I’ll gain weight…
Even though obesity runs in my family and I’m now on steroids and I’m afraid I’ll gain weight…
Even though I’m starting menopause and women always gain weight, and now I’m on steroids so it must double the problem….
Even though my doctor believes I will gain weight…

I addressed all of the fears I had, all of the stories about weight gain with steroids, with menopause, and my fear that this was just a completely impossible situation.

I did this many times—not just once. Whenever fears came up, I addressed them, throughout the eight months I was on steroids.

Addressing the Medical Treatment
I then, every day, did a little ritual with my medication. I told my body, while tapping, that these were miracle drugs, and that we could take the miracles and leave the rest…that there was no need to take on any side effects.

I also did a little Reiki on the pills each morning before I took them, allowing them to be “blessed” with energy that I intended for healing—-without side effects.

When fear came up, I’d do a little round on that:

Even though I am afraid of the side effects, especially weight gain and sleeplessness…
Even though these are so powerful and I’m still afraid of them…I love and accept myself and I’m giving my body permission to take the miracles and leave the rest.

Doing the Footwork
I spent a lot of time online looking for “weight loss while on steroids,” and there isn’t much there. But there was one story of a woman who did lose weight while on steroids. That’s all I needed. If one other person could do it, so could I—especially since I have EFT at my fingertips. The power of suggestion, her example to me, helped lift my sense of hopefulness.

The other critically important part of the footwork was to do the calorie calculation needed to lose weight. I did that and lopped off a few more—(consult your medical doctor, please; I am not a health care professional and did what worked for me—you and your body’s needs are different from mine.). I stuck rigidly, religiously, slavishly to my nutritional program, which was a low-calorie regime. No exceptions. I was absolutely rigid on this.

Dealing with Cravings
The dirty little secret of steroids is that not only do they have the capacity for wreaking all sorts of havoc, they give you the appetite of a teenage linebacker. I was no exception. I wanted to eat everything in my path. So—I treated myself as I would an alcoholic and assigned myself a tapping routine for each time the cravings came up. Sometimes I had time to do a whole round:

Even though I want this (name the specific food) so badly, I love and accept myself and it’s ok to let it go…
Even though I feel hungry, and this looks so good, I love and accept myself and it’s ok to have water instead
Even though I really, really want this, I’m going to be ok without it….

Sometimes I wanted to rush into the refrigerator and there seemed to be no time for a round, so I tapped on the collar point and just said “releasing this craving,” as many times as I needed to (backing out of the kitchen.)

What Happened?
Month one: Five pounds dropped off. My doctor said he had never experienced that with a patient.

Month two: Another five pounds.

Month three: Three more pounds and I was at my goal weight. Again, the doctor just said that he had never seen this before.

Month eight: Steroid usage complete and terminated. I have kept the weight off and now am back to normal.

Mindful, creative use of EFT achieved what is considered to be practically impossible, given all of the factors in my situation. I lost weight while on steroids, going through menopause, despite starting off during a high-calorie holiday time. From now on I’ll never question whether EFT works for weight loss—in my own body and in any client’s. As long as the steps I outline above are used consistently, it is very likely to work every time.

Recovering Self – A Healing Manifesto

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After months of work it is finally here: “Recovering Self: A Healing Manifesto”

A manifesto is nothing more than a statement of beliefs. This is what I believe about the healing process. This is not about tapping the tool, but what happens when we heal and transform. This is how I think when I am working with clients.

You can download the pdf or mp3 book for free here:

PDF Book Version (updated 10/25/2010)

Recuperando el Ser – Un Manifiesto de Sanación Español PDF “Traducido por Vera C. Malbaski” (Thanks to Vera! )

Audio Book Version (updated 10/15/2010)

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Who “Recover Self – A Healing Manifesto” is For:

This if for anyone who is interested in transforming their lives, healing past wounds, and people who are trying to understand how this process happen. If you want to understand yourself a little better it is for you.

What You Will Learn In “Recovering Self – A Healing Manifesto”:

  • Why you stop the healing process even when you know the steps you should take
  • Why others don't want you to heal
  • The two categories that all healing falls into
  • What you need to know (and what you don't need to know) to heal
  • How to stop fighting yourself and start healing

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Thoughts on Surrogate Tapping By Gwyneth Moss

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Gwyneth Moss is an EFT Master and Trainer based in Yorkshire, United Kingdom. She currently offers EFT Level 1, 2 and 3 Workshops in the UK and for EFTUniverse in San Francisco, California.

photo by Stefano Corso

In Gary Craig’s retirement blog he said there are two things about EFT “What it does and Where it points” and that Surrogate Tapping is leading us to “Where it points.” When I first found EFT, the tapping itself was weird enough for me and the idea that you could tap on your own face and something would change for someone else at a distance was just too woo-woo.

However for the last few years I have been intrigued by experiences and stories of distant work. My first experience was when a passenger in heavy rush hour traffic in the centre of Manchester and my friend Masha who was driving complained of a 10/10 headache like a vice. Almost as a joke I started tapping on myself whilst she concentrated on navigating the crowded narrow streets. To the amazement of both of us her headache eased to a 6 then a 2 and then she forget it had ever been there.

Later I designed a group exercise to teach EFT Practitioners how to work with groups and deliver the borrowing benefits instructions. To illustrate that it does not matter who we borrow benefits from or how unrelated their problem, I had a member of the group role play their pet whist we all tapped along. My expectation that anything would change for the pet was close to zero. However if you read Two Cats and a Puppy (pdf), you can read the full story of Oscar the cat and how the tremor in his tail disappeared.

These tapping circles with animal role play continued and a succession of animals changed their behaviour. From this and with my colleague Heather Smiles who does marvelous work tapping for horses, we developed a three stage protocol for surrogate tapping using animals as our teachers. The three stages we call “talk about,” “talk to,” and “talk as.”

The three stages are designed to get you out of the way and gently increase the connection to the other’s energy. Here I’d simply like to share some of our learnings:

  1. Get yourself out of the way. Work first on your own stuff about wanting or needing change in the other. You have to simply get out of the way and let healing flow through you. This is not about your agenda. You are not out to “fix” someone. You are simply offering healing that they can accept or not. Think of it as a means of loosening an energetic stuckness around the person. Be unattached to the outcome. When that stuck energy starts to move the change will be how they choose to use that for themselves. It may not be the outcome you desire.
  2. Allow the words to come to you in a stream of consciousness. Don’t think about it or analyze. What comes may surprise you or be unexpected, that’s ok and if you feel like you are making it up then that is ok too. Let yourself pretend.
  3. Do not lead or use positive suggestion or over optimistic reframes. Stick to simple EFT, being specific and cleaning up all aspects. With animals the times it has not worked is when there has been direct suggestion of change – leading. Try to find or imagine earlier events, in what context would this behavior or emotion make sense.
  4. Start by telling the story, the facts and the feelings about the other, talk in the third person as you tap on yourself. That may lead you to having an imaginary dialogue as you talk to them, allow some silences for the responses and again let yourself pretend or make it up. And keep tapping.
  5. Don’t go to the first person “talk as” tapping unless you intuitively feel an open door, an energetic permission. Trust your intuition. And don’t worry if that door feels closed just continue with the “talk about” and “talk to” tapping, that is often sufficient. If you efforts are perceived as unwanted or you are working to your own agenda at best you will get nowhere at worst you may get an energetic kick back.
  6. Be relaxed and don’t go looking for changes after your tapping to “prove” that it worked. Sometimes the change may be something other that that which you directly tapped for.
  7. Find someone to partner you. It’s a good idea to do surrogate tapping together with a partner and this is how we teach it in the workshops. One of you manages the content by telling the story or role playing. The other of you manages the EFT process by asking simple questions, identifying aspects, testing and keeping the flow going.

What more info on surrogate tapping: