Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #94: How To Get The Most Out Of Self Directed Self Help And Self Directed EFT w/ Maggie Adkins

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I bet you are like me. Somewhere in your home or office there is a large pile of self-help books, cds, and dvds. In addition to this physical pile of resources there is a folder on your hard drive full of ebooks, pdfs, audios and interviews, also filled with amazing information…and you have never looked at over 90% of these resources

They looked enticing. They looked valuable. They looked like they would improve your life.

Somehow we never get around to using to them.

This is a common problem. (So much so, at one point in my notes this interview was entitled “Are you addicted to self-help resources?”)

In this interview I talk with EFT Master Maggie Adkins about how we can best do self-directed improvement work. The issue is not concerning having access to tools (we all have too many tools and resources), but instead about how we approach the process.

Maggie shares many practical ways to show us how we can take advantage of the materials we have, using them in a constructive way to ensure that we are moving forward and not just creating a pile of resources that are collecting dust.


Maggie Adkins

Guest: Maggie Adkins

Contact: web @ MaggieAdkins.com.au; email @ earthwomandreaming@bigpond.com;

About Maggie: Maggie is an EFT Founding Master and also now an AAMET Master Trainer of Trainers as well as a certified TBT (Trauma Buster Technique) practitioner. Maggie's full bio

Pod #93: Getting EFT Into Schools w/ Till Schilling

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When it comes to teaching tapping children are one of my favorite groups. They take to tapping right away because they don’t have many of the hang-ups adults do of needing to understand everything or concerns about looking foolish when they tap.

Like adults, when kids tap they become happier and healthier. One of the bonuses of teaching them to tap is we help them to clear issues whilst they are small, preventing them from growing into life-long issues.

In this interview I talk to Till Shilling about introducing kids to tapping and how to get into schools and classrooms.


Till Shilling

Guest: Till Schilling

Contact: web @ TillSchilling.com; twitter @tappybear

About Till: Till has studied with many of the masters of EFT including Gary Craig, Dr Patricia Carrington and others. He has actively supported the development of this methodology worldwide and has led trainings and workshops in Slovenia, Germany, Chile, Bolivia, Ecuador, the U.S. and Mexico.

Will Saying Negative Phrases While Doing EFT Manifest Bad Things In My Life?

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Q: I am worried that if I say negative phrases I will bring negative things into my life. How can I use EFT without having to use negative phrases?

I receive this question a lot. To answer it we need to look at what is happening when we are tapping and how the words we say impact our success while tapping.

It is important to remember that what we are saying is much less important than what we are feeling when we tap.

The words we say while tapping are not magic.

What is important is where our focus and attention is when we are tapping. If we say, “this pain in my knee…this pain in my knee…” over and over again when we tap but we are thinking about everything that needs to be done once we finish tapping, then the knee isn’t going to feel better.

It is not the words but the focus.

This plays itself out in some interesting ways when we say both positive and negative phrases. To understand this let’s look at a weight release example. Let’s say the client wants to lose 40 pounds but is stuck because of the fact he has failed before and is worried that he will lose the weight only to gain it back again.

Positive v Negative Phrases

There are two ways to approach tapping on this issue.

First, we could address the fear of losing weight only to gain it back again head on. We would tap saying something like:

I have failed before at losing weight…and I’m worried that I will fail again…every time I lose the weight it creeps back…this time will be different…not only do I have a plan to lose the weight…but I have a support system in place…to help me keep it off.

Second, we could decide that we are only going to tap on the positive:

I am going to lose weight…I am going keep the weight off…I am going to look awesome…I am going to feel so much better.

All of these statements are great things to be tapping on, but what is being said is not all that is going on. Every time one of those phrases is said out loud if there is any part of the system that doesn’t believe the phrase to be true, the critical voice will speak up to voice its objections. It might go something like this:

What is said out loud: I am going to lose weight.
What the internal critical voice says in response: And then gain it right back.

Out loud: I am going keep the weight off.
Critical voice: No you aren’t. You failed before and you will fail again.

Out loud: I am going to look awesome.
Critical voice: Only for a short period of time.

Out loud: I am going to feel so much better.
Critical voice: And then the weight will come back and you will feel like crap.

You can see that when we only focus only on the positive and there is a part of us that doesn’t believe the positive statement, the negative will show up.

The good news about this that it doesn’t matter if we use positive or negative phrases because either way we will find our way to tapping on the issues needing attention.

Which Should I Tap On?

The question becomes “Should I use positive or negative phrases while tapping?” For me, the answer is both.

If I recognize a specific limiting belief or block, like the fear of gaining the weight back, my tapping will be most effective if I go right at that issue.

At the same time when I state the goal I want to achieve in the positive I will find my way to self talk and limiting beliefs that I didn’t know existed.

I recommend when tapping to alternate between both positive and negative phrases so that you get both of these benefits.

Pod #92: Understanding and Using EFT For Trauma w/ Sophia Cayer

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People throw the word trauma around a lot and because of this it is easily misunderstood. Some people treat trauma too casually and end up trying to work on issues for which they aren’t trained. Others are too nervous of treating trauma and aren’t willing to tap on even the simplest of issues because they are worried about what they might uncover in the deepest recesses of their past.

This difficulty can be true for both practitioners and for people who are using tapping to work on their own.

The best way to approach trauma lies somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. In this interview with Sophia Cayer we explore what we really mean by the word trauma, how we are impacted by traumatic events, and how we work on them with tapping.

I personally found a number of the things we talked about in this interview surprising and very helpful for my own work.


Sophia Cayer

Guest: Sophia Cayer

Contact Sophia: web @ SophiaCayer.com; web @ PersonalPeaceFoundation.org

About Sophia Cayer: An EFT Founding Master, Sophia has been devoted to a full-time EFT practice and teaching EFT for more than 12 years. Specializing in trauma and abuse, she is well-known for her ability to resolve core issues and, with EFT, for helping clients to reshape their lives and gain a level of comfort with their new “norm”. For more than 22 years she has been dedicated to helping clients define and generate the solutions to resolve challenges and achieve their goals.

Subscribe to the podcast in iTunes

Self Sabotage: The Number One Issue I Use EFT For (And How I Get Past It)

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Good morning!

Don't you hate it when you get in your own way?

You know what you want, you know the right steps to take, and you just don't take action.

(And to make matters worse, you then beat yourself up for not doing what you need to do.)

I use EFT first and foremost for self sabotage.

Not only do I tap on self sabotage every day, it is the one thing that has made the most profound impact in my life.

I want to teach you how I deal with self sabotage.

I have created a 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide” and I would like you to have it free of charge.

Here is how you can receive it.

If you sign up you will also receive the 10 part “Getting Out Of Your Own Way: A Quick Start Guide”.

Starting the day you sign up, you will receive an email every other day until you have all 10 parts.

This will not interrupt the regular emails I send to you. It is just an added bonus.

I Need Your Input

Since you have been around the block a few times with EFT I would really value your feedback. Let me know how the steps are working for you, what is going well, what needs improvement, and in which places you think I have completely lost my mind.

Just reply to any of the emails to let me know your thoughts.

Sign up now! I know you want to stop the self sabotage. Get started on knocking it out.

As always, let me know what I can do for you!

What To Do When You Feel Like You Have Stopped Moving Forward With An Issue

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My client was so frustrated!

We had been working on an issue for a number of sessions and he felt like we were dealing with the same issues, with the same complaints, with the same outcomes.

The truth was that he had made a lot of progress AND he was getting the same outcome.

When this happens it can be so frustrating because we have put in the work, we know we have healed many issues, but it doesn’t feel like it is bearing any fruit.

I’m Stuck In Quicksand!

Sometimes making progress feels like trying to get out of quicksand.

There is a huge difference between being in quicksand up to your neck and being in quicksand up to your knees. When you are in quicksand up to your neck you are only 10% free and when you are in up to your knees you are 75% free.

But there is a problem. Even though being in quicksand up to your knees is much better than being in quicksand up to your neck, you are still stuck.

The same thing can happen when we are working on a persistent issue. We can spend time (even a great deal of time) working on an issue. Although we have released a great deal around the issue we are still stuck because the part that is left continues to have a grip on us.

It is easy to feel discouraged and like we are failing in the healing process because we are not reaping the rewards of our progress. The good news is that it’s much easier to get out of quicksand when we are only up to our knees, and we truly are much closer to freedom and healing, but we may fail to notice this because we are focusing on still being stuck.

If you feel like you are spinning your wheels with your tapping here is a tapping script you can use:

I have been working on this issue for a very long time…I want to be free of this issue…I know tapping has worked for me in the past…and I want it to work now…the fact that I have done so much work…and not seen any real progress is frustrating…I feel like giving up on this issue…I feel like giving up on tapping…but I choose to know that tapping is a process…I know healing is a process…there are times when I will make progress with an issue…and still not be free of the issue…sometimes healing an issue is like getting out of quicksand…I can make progress when I am working my way towards freedom…but I am still stuck…it is possible to recognize that even when I am not completely free of an issue…I am closer to being free of the issue…with each round of tapping I become a little clearer…with each tapping session I become a little clearer…even if I am not completely out of the quicksand on this issue…I am more free than I was before…I am closer to being free of this…I give myself permission to keep moving forward…knowing that with each moment of healing I experience…I am that much closer to being free of this issue…it is ok that I get frustrated at the fact that it doesn’t feel like I am making progress…it is ok that I feel this isn’t working as fast as I would like…this is because there is a part of me that wants better…I am glad there is a part of me that wants better…and I want this part of me to keep working for better…as bit-by-bit I clear this issue.

Pod #91: The Most Forgotten & Most Powerful EFT Point – Gamut Point w/ Karin Davidson

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Did you know that healing from a tapping session can be spontaneously reversed?

It doesn’t happen all the time, but it happens more often than you would think.

In this interview with Karin Davidson we explore the two factors which can bring about a total and instantaneous reversal of a tapping session, and how in three minutes this can be prevented.

We discuss the gamut point, which I think is one of the most powerful, but most forgotten tapping points, and its key role in preventing spontaneous reversal of the benefits of EFT.


Karin Davidson

Guest: Karin Davidson

Karin’s Contact Info: web @ HowToTap.com, web @ MatrixReimprintingUS.com

About Karin: Karin is a highly sought after speaker on using meridian tapping techniques for self help and helping others. She is certified hypnotherapist, a Reiki master, an EFT Trainer, the first Matrix Reimprinting Trainer in the USA, co-founder of the Meridian Tapping Techniques Association and co-author of the EFT Levels Comprehensive Training Resource coursebooks. Karin was a TV Producer and host who chose to use her award-winning talents to help spread tapping techniques to the world. Karin has videotaped and produced over 100 training DVDs for 28 of the 29 EFT Masters, EFT founder Gary Craig, TAT founder Tapas Fleming, Ask & Receive founder Sandi Radomski, The Secret's Bob Doyle and others. She helped develop the curriculum for EFT training for EFT Universe, MTT, and worked with the training team for AAMET. She also has a background in marketing and web design and is the webmaster for many well-known websites.

Here is the Gamut Point Guardian procedure we tap through in this audio in pdf form.

Tapping Ninja Video – Is Working With An EFT Practitioner Right For You?

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I recently received an email from Kevin in Ireland asking a number of really good questions about reaching out for help with an issue. Not everyone needs to be working with a practitioner.

Have you ever considered working with a practitioner?

Here are my thoughts on working with someone.

For a longer article on the topic check out: Working With An EFT Practitioner Is Not Right For Everyone. Is It Right For You?

Working With An EFT Practitioner Is Not Right For Everyone. Is It Right For You?

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photo by geek calendar

I recently received an email from Kevin in Ireland asking a number of really good questions about reaching out for help with an issue. Not everyone needs to be working with a practitioner.

Have you ever considered working with a practitioner?

Here are my thoughts on working with someone.

If tapping is such a ‘do it yourself’ protocol, why would I bother working with a practitioner?

There are a number of issues that tapping is great for where you can use it on your own without needing any help. As a practitioner I provide four things for my clients: distance, experience, expertise, and encouragement/accountability.

Distance: Sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees. When we are in the middle of something emotional it is very difficult to see it clearly. Because I am not experiencing the emotions being felt by my client myself, I can often see an issue more clearly. This is true for anyone we share with, not just practitioners. We can regularly find insight into what is going on in our lives by seeking the outside point of view of a trusted friend. Sometimes it is helpful to share this with people we don’t see frequently.

Experience: Having worked with many clients I recognize patterns and root causes that a client would not be able to see on their own. This experience allows me to help clients to move forward much more quickly than they would working alone.

Expertise: EFT is a very simple thing that be done by anyone. It is possible to use the basic recipe and tap on most issues. Even though this works, it is not always the fastest way to relief. With my my training I am able to combine tapping with many other tools that speed the healing process in a way a client could not do on their own.

Encouragement/Accountability: It is easy to feel overwhelmed by our own issues. They don’t feel good and the last thing we want is to stay stuck in the middle of them. Sometimes it is easier just to run and hide instead of engage. As a practitioner I help my clients to stay focused and support them as they are going through difficult issues, helping them to get to the other side.

Why should I pay so much money to someone I don’t know to work with them over the phone or Skype?

You need to be careful with any buying decision. I wouldn’t just pay anyone I found online to work with one-on-one. It is important that you are making the right choice for you.

Here are a few things I would consider before hiring anyone:

  • What type of training do they have?
  • How long have they been a practitioner?
  • Do they have experience with my particular issue?
  • Do they work with someone for their own issues?
  • Have they created resources that I can look at to gauge if they are a good fit for me?

It is easy to get answers to these questions. Just ask. Any practitioner worth their salt will happily provide answers.

You can also look at their website. What have they created? Does it fit with who you are and what you are looking for?

One of the main reasons that I have over 500 free resources on my website is so that potential clients can get a sense of who I am, what I believe, and how I work. For example, if you took a few minutes to “Recovering Self – A Healing Manifesto” you would have a good idea if we were a good fit.

I couldn’t get EFT to work with my issue while tapping on my own. Is a practitioner going to guarantee me success?

The short answer is: NO.

Tapping is a wonderful tool that works for many things. Just because it is a wonderful tool that is easy and quick to use, it is not the best tool for every situation. (For example: If you have be stabbed, go to the emergency room. Don’t tap!)

Also, there are issues that tapping will not going to work for, or at least not in a timely way. Know that even when you work with someone who is very skilled with your issue success is still not guaranteed.

If you are going to work with someone it is advisable to ask them about the types of success they have with clients and with your particular issue.

Are there any professional associations for tapping where I can check on the certification of particular practitioners?

Right now there isn’t one centralized organization (even though many would claim to be). Tapping and EFT are relatively new and because of this there is no real standardization of training. Some trainings will give a certificate if you show up to all the classes, some will give a certificate if you pass a test after the class work, and some will give a certificate after class attendance, passing a test, and supervised work with clients.

When someone says they are a certified EFT practitioner it is important that you gain an understanding of what that really means.

Do You Still Have Questions Or Are Thinking Of Working With A Practitioner?

If you are interested in working with someone one-on-one to get past an issue that is holding you back but still aren’t sure, let me know. We can set up a free consultation to answer all your questions and relieve your fears. You might just need some encouragement or instruction to start heading in the right direction. You can reach me directly on the contact page.

EFT For Stress That Leads To Overeating

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photo by zigazou76

I was recently working with a client on the issue of mindless eating.

When I use the term “mindless eating” I mean any eating that we are doing without thinking “I would like to eat this right now”. This can include eating prompted by cravings, emotional eating, unconscious habitual eating, eating when we are not hungry and eating more than we intended.

Over the course of a one hour session we touched on lots of smaller issues which were all connected to what was behind the mindless eating. Below you will find a transcript of the tapping scripts we used during the session.

These transcripts do not constitute the entire session. It just the tapping phrases between the conversation investigation.

Please let me know if you find these types of scripts helpful and if you would like me to do something like this again in the future. If you would like to work with me one-on-one visit WorkWithGene.com for details.

I Can’t Stop! I Must Stop!

Sometimes we find ourselves being pulled in two different directions. One part of us wants us to stop and another part must keep making the same bad choice again and again. Here we tapped for the inner conflict:

There’s a part of me that just keeps reaching for food…It’s almost something I can’t control…Even when I’m doing that, I know I shouldn’t be doing it…There’s a part of me that just can’t stop…There’s this odd dichotomy in it…There’s a part of me that knows it’s a bad choice…There’s a part of me that knows that I don’t enjoy it…There’s a part of me that knows that I’m just going to feel gross afterwards…Even as I’m moving the bread to my mouth, I can say, “This is really bad choice.”…There’s a part of me that still makes that choice…It thinks it’s the best…Something in the short term to make me feel better…To distract me from the things I don’t want to do…To give me something to do so I’m not bored…To fill some space that feels empty…And all of those are good things to want…This is just the absolute wrong way to do it…And I know it’s the wrong way to do it…While I’m doing it I know it’s the wrong way to do it…And it just stinks when I’m doing it…Because I know it’s not what I want…But there’s a part of me that just doesn’t get that…It’s stuck in the old ways…It’s more than stuck in the old ways…Almost as if the old way is all there is…And it can’t see any other alternative…And I appreciate the fact that it wants me to be healthier…And I appreciate the fact it wants me to feel comfortable…But this has nothing to do with being healthy…In the long term…It’s filling up some small need…I appreciate the fact it’s trying to do something…But it needs to be something that’s healthier.

I Always Need To Be Doing Something

We live in a world where we are always doing something, sometimes even multi-tasking. We don’t deal with idle time well. Sometime we just have to do something, even if it is mindless eating, to fill that time. Here we tapped for eating to fill idle time.

There’s a part of me that knows I need to be doing something…That I should never be doing nothing…That I need to be moving forward…And I need to be productive…There are things that need to be done…And I don’t want to do them…So I just choose to do something…So I’m productive…So I’m filling the time…So I’m doing something…I have a clear idea of what needs to get done…I could tell you the ten things I need to get done very soon…And when I’m really stressed…The last thing I wanna do…Is fight with some task…And add more stress…And I don’t wanna sit still…And just do it and not being stressed…So it makes perfect sense…That a part of me…Is going to wanna move away from being stressed…And move away from the things I don’t wanna do…It would be one thing to take a vacation…Because I’m choosing to leave things behind…And I’m planning for it…And it’s another thing to be idle…I know things need to get done…I give myself permission to know…I’m allowed to take little mini vacations…During my day…Even if it’s just for five or 10 minutes…Where I step away from the task…And I step away from the stress…And I don’t have to choose something to fill that space…If I do choose to fill that space…I wanna choose something healthy…Like a little fresh air…Or to tap a little bit…But I choose to know…I recognize the fact…My system is just trying to avoid that gross stress…And I don’t blame it for doing that…Because it’s no fun just being stressed.

I Don’t Have To Do Everything On My To-Do List At Once

There is a lot that we need to get done on any given day. Each of these tasks are manageable, but if we look at everything at once it can feel very overwhelming. Here we tapped to help relieve the feeling of overwhelm.

I recognize there’s a lot that needs to get done…But it doesn’t need to get done all at once…That it’s good to appreciate all the work that needs to happen…But if I put myself in a space…Where I think it emotionally needs to be done all at once…Of course it’s going to feel overwhelming…If something is going to take multiple hours…And I think about it all right now…Of course it’s going to be overwhelming…I give myself permission…To focus on these things one at a time…And only worry about one of the things that I’m going to do right now…I can be aware of the other tasks that need to be done…But I can give myself permission…To be in a circumstance where I don’t have to do them all at once…If I take them one at a time…They’re less big…And they’re much more manageable…None of the tasks are super hard…They’re just impossible to do them all at once.

There Is Just So Much To Do

There are time where there is just too much. Even when we break it down into small steps if feels like to much. Here we tapped for dealing with too much to do.

Just repeat after me. There’s so much that needs to get done…There’s stuff that needs to get done for work…There’s stuff that needs to get done to help the family…There’s stuff that needs to get done for me…And with a full house, it seems like it’s all happening at once…And those quiet moments are few and far between…And it feels like I have to get everything done in that short amount of time…Because I know what happens when these things don’t get done…And each day it’s a different task…Or a different list of tasks…And a whole bunch of outcomes that could happen from that…And I’m really worried they’re not all going to get done…And I really don’t wanna have to deal with when they don’t all get done…Because I can see what can go wrong…I can see it really clearly…And I don’t want to be caught in the middle of that…And I just get overwhelmed…Because I wanna do it all at once…Because I need it all done…I don’t wanna deal with all those other things…But I choose to know…If I do each task one at a time…If I don’t try and bite off too much all at once…It’s possible for me…To get everything done….And be okay with getting everything done…And I can feel the resistance inside of me…When I’d make a simple statement like that…Because it just never feels like it’s all going to get done…Every single time something gets crossed off the list…It feels like four more things had been added…And I always feel like I’m behind…Which means I’m always going to feel overwhelmed…And as long as I feel overwhelmed…It’s really easy to make poor eating choices.

I Don’t Trust Myself To Take Short Breaks

It is good to take breaks throughout the day so that we can stay sharp. The problem with taking a short break is it can quickly turn into spending 90 minutes on facebook or cleaning up the living room. Here we tapped for not being able to trust ourselves to take a short break.

There’s a part of me that doesn’t trust me…That if I go and take a little bitty break…It’s going to turn into a giant break…It’s going to go from releasing a little stress…To being another avoidance technique…It won’t be that I’m blowing off steam…It’ll be that I’m just escaping…It’s really no different than eating a bunch of bread…I’m just filling time with something…So I don’t have to face the tasks at hand…So it’s really important…I find a way to manage my day…Where I understand that it’s achievable and doable…That I carve out specific times to take care of myself…And I create boundaries to make sure that they don’t bleed over and take over the day…It’s good to release some steam…And let go of the overwhelm…But it doesn’t do me any good…If I end up wasting an hour and a half…Because that’s just going to make the day much worse…Because I’m going to be even farther behind…So I need to find a way…To keep myself accountable…That isn’t going to take the whole day…Because all of a sudden eating makes more sense…All of a sudden eating makes more sense…Because I can’t get lost to it for an hour and a half…But there’s a physical limitation that I could eat…Even when I’m eating mindlessly…There’s a stop point…So it becomes a good distraction…And it doesn’t consume 90 minutes…So it’s really important I find a way…To be able to release the stress…To be able to take care of myself…And do it in a way that allows me to still be productive…Without getting distracted.

Not Doing Anything Makes It Worse

There are times that when we take a break to think about what is going on it becomes very easy to be overwhelmed with every thing. In these cases it makes sense that we are going to do something to discract ourselves. In this case we tapped for needing to do anything to block out the stress of what needs to be done.

It makes sense that if I’m not doing work…That the pile is going to get deeper and deeper…But it’s possible for me to work…It’s possible for me to work…In a more efficient way…When I’m sitting really idle…Not only am I not getting anything done…It’s also really easy…To recognize all the things that aren’t done…And that makes the feeling even worse…So the goal is not to be stuck in an idle place…And not to be stuck in an overwhelmed place…Because when I’m really overwhelmed…I’m going to make choices that are me trying to escape…Me trying to escape…And when I feel really idle…I’m going to recognize all that needs to get done…And feel even more overwhelmed…And want to escape again…So the goal is…To put myself in a circumstance…Where I’m doing the things that need to get done…But I’m not getting caught in all of them at once…Because if I take the task one at a time…Each task is going to be manageable…In which each task is manageable…It’s going to get done as quickly as possible…And I can move on to the next thing…And that will make a more peaceful process…I feel less stressed…And I’ll get everything done…And I won’t have to escape…Because I’m going to be efficient…And things aren’t going to be building up…And I’m not going to be overwhelmed…Because I’m not doing everything all at once…

I Can’t Control Everything

It is one thing to have control over the choices we are making. That is manageable. What is hard is the fact that there are things we don’t control that can add stress to out live. Here we tapped for being overwhelmed and stressed by the things we can’t control.

And that makes it hard…To get everything done I wanna get done…Because as new things show up…It makes things get harder…When things show up…That feel like they specifically make it more complicated…Which makes it really easy to get overwhelmed…But I choose to know…That the less stressed I am…That the less overwhelmed that I am…The easier it is to respond…When unexpected things show up… Because often times unexpected things show up…And I deal with them with no problem…And I don’t remember those times…Because they didn’t cause me a problem…I only remember…The times that things show up…That are overwhelming…Or too much…And the more calm I get…The more I take tasks one at a time….The less overwhelmed I become…So even when unexpected shows up…It’s easier for me to respond…Because it’s not too much.

If I Could Just Get A Little Organized

Most of the time, no one thing causes us stress. Most of the time it is a combination of many things stacking up. When we are able to get organized then the small things are less likely to get stacked up. He we tap on getting organized.

I always feel like I’m trying to catch up…I always feel like I’m behind…And when I’m behind, it means I have to hurry…That I don’t do as good a job as I’d like…That just adds more stress and anxiety…That adds more overwhelm…Which adds more to the desire to escape…I choose to know…It’s important that I get my time organized…It doesn’t have to be organized perfectly…I don’t have to schedule every second of the day but I know when I make the time to organize…Even though that takes time…It pays off in the long term…And I – it’s important that I invest that time…And the more times that I invest that time…The more organized I get…And the less time I have to spend organizing…And the easier it is to get organized…And I just need to step into that space…To give myself permission to spend the time it takes…To get organized…Because if I don’t take the time to set it up right…It take time to do it over again…Which I don’t have…Which adds to the overwhelm…Which adds to the needing to escape.

Little Changes Add Up

Sometimes the change we make happens in lots of small steps. It becomes very easy to feel like progress is not happening in small steps because the change is hardly noticeable. Here we tap for recognizing that small steps add up to big things.

There’s lots of ways that I can reduce stress…Because there’s lots of things that cause stress…. So it’s not that I have to do one thing to eliminate all the stress…It’s not that I have to do one thing to stop the eating…Each thing that I do…That chips away at the stress…Makes it so I have to escape less…Which means I’m going to do the eating less…And there’s lots of things I can do…That start to reduce the stress…One of them is getting a little more organized… But that’s not the only thing…That’s not the lynch pin… It’s just one more thing…And I give myself permission to know…That as I keep chipping away at this…And make transformation to lots of little bits…It’s going to make a difference…And it’s short and long term…And I’m going to do this eating less and less…And it’s going to slowly fade away… It’s not, I have to change and fix everything…Which creates an immediate stop…Instead it’s slowly chipping away…And lots of little easy steps…That leads to the whole thing being transformed…Transformed in a lasting way…I give myself permission…To recognize that I can have progress…Without have to fixing all of it…And without having to fix one part completely…But doing it step by step.

There Is Always Going To Be Stress

Stress is a fact of life. It is always going to be there, but it is not always going to be there in the same amount. We need to recognize that we have some control over the amount of stress in our lives. Here we tap for knowing that we can control some of the stress in our lives.

It feels like stress is inevitable… There are things that are going to catch me off guard… And there are things that are going to feel overwhelming… But most of the time when I feel stressed…It’s because lots of things have been combined together… But most of those things….Are really big deal by themselves…what we’re trying to do…Is move to the place… Where the small things don’t add up into big stress… So that the times when real stress shows up… We can take those choices…They are the quick fix… It’s not that big of a deal if once a month I have a little bread when I feel stressed…It is a big deal if I’m doing it every single day…There are going to be times of stress…There’s going to times of overwhelm… But that isn’t something I have to experience every single day… I can put myself in a position… Where I manage the stress in such a way…The feelings of overwhelm… The feelings of too much…Are few and far between…And when that happens…That I can respond to that stress in lots of ways…But I don’t have to make those choices… Every single day… If I don’t feel stressed and overwhelmed every single day…

This Habit Is Never Going To Change

There are times when we change the underlying issue but the habit persists because it has been the way we have operated for so long. Here we tap for changing old habits that have been here forever.

There’s a part of me that sees this as a habit… The choice I’m always going to make… The choice that I make every single time… And part of the work that needs to happen…Is enrooting this as the choice I make every single time… It’s almost as if…I’m pulling out the big guns…To deal with a little bitty mosquito…Because that’s the tool I always use… And each time I make a choice… Where I don’t reach for the food… When I’m feeling a little stressed…I’m reinforcing… And making it easier…For me to make good choices in the future…I wanna do things to reduce my stress…And I wanna do things where I’m making better choices when I am stressed… I wanna make good choices for the long term… And I wanna make good choices that are proportional… Where I’m choosing a response…In an appropriate way… Based on how big the stress is…And that’s something that’ll happen step by step…Because when I feel less stressed…There will be less moments where I need to let go the stress… And each time I make a better choice… I’m going to put myself in a position where I reinforce that

The Old Choices Seem To Be The Easiest

Sometimes our old habits are what we choose because they are so easy. Eating is much easier than taking a short walk or taking time to tap. Here we tap for knowing that it is possible choose the slightly harder response because it has lasting benefits.

Food feels like the easiest choice… Because it’s always at hand… Because it’s so effective… In muting the stress feeling…And it takes so little effort… For it to work…I don’t have to do any tapping…I don’t have to go for a walk…I can keep doing what I’m doing most times… And eat at the same time… Or scarf it down really, really quick… So it doesn’t take a lot of effort…And it doesn’t take a lot of time… So it makes lots of sense…That that’s what I keep reaching for…But I choose to know… It’s important that I make good long term choices… As well as good short term choices… And I need to break the habit…Of reaching for the easiest thing… And that takes little work…That takes a little planning…That takes knowing what I would choose otherwise…And spending the energy… To make the right good choice… And that’s work… And that’s no fun…But I’d rather make… Good long term choices…Than the easy choice…That isn’t good for the long term…And if I have a plan of attack… And if I look out for these things coming… It’s going to be a little easier… To make a good choice…In the moment… Which is going to create a circumstance…Where I have a habit…Of making lasting good choices…

Pod #90: EFT To Quiet The Inner Critic w/ Judy Byrne

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Do you have a good relationship with your inner critic?

Very few people answer that question in a positive way because to most of us it is nothing more than a “critic”. It is always there waiting to pounce, waiting to point out everything we have done wrong, everything we have missed, and everything we will do wrong in the future.

Did you know that this inner voice exists to be helpful?

No, really, it is!

Our inner voice is always on guard, looking out for danger and things that will get in the way of what we want and need. The problem is that for most of us is it working too hard.

In this conversation with Judy Byrne we talk about how the critical voice came to be so critical and how we can transform it from being a giant nag into something that is very helpful.

 

Judy Byrne

Guest: Judy Byrne EFT Master

Contact: email @ hello@eftjudybyrne.website; web @ JudyByrne.co.uk

About Judy: Judy Byrne is a therapist, trainer, international speaker and author based in Rockhampton, Queensland, Australia. She is qualified in psychology, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Tapas Acupressure Technique (TAT), and did her advanced EFT training in a small group with Gary Craig. She is an EFT Founding Master. Judy has studied the use of Mindfulness in therapy and finds she increasingly incorporates it into her approach.

Judy has two particular EFT passions. One is teaching it to other people, either to use for themselves and/or to incorporate it into their therapy work. The other is using it with clients to process trauma at all levels from the small, “everyday” trauma from which we all form our relationships with ourselves, all the way up to major life-threatening events.

9 Websites, Newsletters And Podcasts That I Always Read AND You Should Too!

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While writing the first draft of this article I typed “EFT” into Google and it returned 49,600,000 results. When there is that much information it is really hard to find what is useful.

I read everything I can get my hands on because I am always trying to learn and always on the lookout for guest posts and podcast guests. Even with this desire to read it all, there are times that I have too much on my plate and can’t get through everything. When this happens I need to make choices about what will get my time and attention.

Here is a list of 9 online resources where I read or listen to everything they produce, even if I am busy. If you are are not already reading some of these then you are missing out on great opportunities to learn.

Note: These are not affiliate links. I am not getting anything from sharing these. I just want you to find the good stuff!

Deborah Miller’s Newsletter – Deborah is probably best known for her work with children with cancer. She has a wonderful newsletter from which I have re-published many of her articles. To subscribe scroll down to the bottom of this page: FindTheLightWithin.com
Karen Nueman’s Newsletter – Sadly Karen passed away in Feb. 2013. She is greatly missed!
Practical Wellbeing – Practical Wellbeing is written by England based practitioner Andy Hunt. One mistake I think a lot of sites make is that they produce lots of very average material. Andy puts up a new article every few weeks which is always thoughtful, well-written, and informative. PracticalWellbeing.com
Sarah Holland Twitter Feed – Sarah is a practitioner who specializes in fertility issues. Her Twitter feed is often filled with great framing questions as well as awesome set-up phrases to tap to, all in 140 characters. Find her (even if you don’t have Twitter) @SarahEFT
You Are Not So Smart – The motto of You Are Not So Smart is “A Celebration of Self Delusion”. In each article and podcast David McRaney looks at a new piece of research about the mind in an irreverent and funny way to see how delusional we are about the way we see ourselves and the world. There are many things from this site that have transformed the way I work with clients and how I do my own tapping work. Articles and podcast: YouAreNotSoSmart.com
PsyBlog – Jeremy Dean’s PsyBlog is devoted to the most recent interesting (!) developments in psychology. When working with clients it is really important to understand where people are coming from and why they make the choices they make. As a bonus Jeremy also shares offbeat studies that will make you smile even if you don’t learn anything new. Read more: Spring.org.uk
Radiolab – Radiolab is the happy marriage of science, art, day-to-day life, and the choices we make. I always learn something from Radiolab. The show has transformed my understanding of how the brain works and how scientific concepts meet daily life. If I were to create a university degree program I would want this show to be in the core curriculum. Radio show and podcast home: Radiolab.org
Marc and Angel Hack Life – I am not the biggest fan of the self-help industry (though it would be very easy to argue I am part of it). I am suspicious of platitudes and affirmations. Marc and Angel Hack Life is a total revelation in the self-help blog world. Each post is to the point and immediately useful. I have written many tapping scripts inspired by their work and point of view. Website: MarcAndAngel.com
Get Bullish – Jen Dziura writes two weekly columns for the b5media network of blogs. It is best described as life and career advice for kick-ass women. Jen doesn’t pull punches, doesn’t get caught up in fluffy cuteness, and is all about moving forward. Transformation work is about being able to level with yourself about what is really going on. Whether you want to or not, Jen is going to make you do that. Jen’s work can be found at Bullish and Bullish Life

(PS: Be warned, at some point Jen is probably going to make fun of part of your world view, tip a sacred cow, or mock someone you think is a guru. I’m sure she would make fun of my point of view from time-to-time. You don’t have to agree with everything she says, but she will challenge you to see your world and choices in new ways.)

What Are You Reading?

I am always on the lookout for great resources. Please add the stuff you can’t wait to read or listen to in the comment section.

Pod #89: EFT For Shyness (Which Isn’t About Shyness) w/ Tania A. Prince

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Sometimes when I prepare for an interview I have a really good idea about what we are going to talk about. I am very familiar with the topic, the guest’s work, or both.

Other times I am caught off-guard (in a good way).

This is one of those interviews. In the first minute Tania Prince took my idea of shyness and turned it on its head. This set up an awesome conversation about what can be changed and what isn’t really an issue at all.

Often we confuse being uncomfortable around others which causes us to be quiet (AKA acting shy) with someone who is comfortable in a group of people and is just being quiet.

We can get ourselves into trouble when we try to change someone who is just quiet because we think that being shy is bad and that we need to pull them out of their shell.

This is a great interview with lots of tapping tips for dealing with discomfort around others and what being shy really means.

 

Tania A. Prince

Guest: Tania A. Prince EFT Master

Contact: web @ eft-courses.co.uk, e-mail @ contact page

Biography: Tania is an EFT Master, (one of less than thirty in the world). She has extensive experience of using EFT with clients and has worked on a vast range of issues, including fear of public speaking, blushing, panic attacks, success coaching, phobias, depression, addictions, anxiety, weight management, agoraphobia and serious illnesses, etc. She works from two clinics in Cheshire, England as well as working with clients throughout the UK and internationally via the phone. Her work has been featured on TV and radio shows both in the UK and abroad. She presents regularly at major international conferences and is a TAT Professionals Trainer.

EFT Beyond The Basic Tapping Points

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photo by Dawn Endico

I have a feeling that your experience with tapping has gone something like this…

You learned the basic tapping points. You’ve had some small successes when tapping with a teacher, a practitioner, or a friend.

You know tapping works because you have experienced it firsthand, but now you are not sure what to do next. You have the picture of someone with the tapping points marked on their body staring up at you.

But now what?

What issue to start with? What phrase to say out loud?

Because you are not sure and you don’t want to do it wrong you decide to try it again sometime later.

AND later never comes.

Not Knowing How To Do EFT On Your Own Is More Common Than You Think

What is described above is a very common experience. EFT is deceptively subtle. It is very simple to do. All you have to do is tune into an issue and tap.

The problem is there is a lot going on in an unspoken way.

To help you I have created some very simple tools that will help move from tapping with someone else to being able to tap on your own.

Each of these tools will either answer a very common question or give you slightly more sophisticated tools to use while tapping.

Think of this like taking your tapping training wheels off.

If you have questions that aren’t answered here, please let me know by entering your questions on the contact page.

9 Tools To Take Off Your EFT Training Wheels

Why Do I Have To Tap Anyway? – One of the most common questions I am asked is “Why do I have to tap? Shouldn’t the phrases be sufficient? Here is a quick explanation of why we need to tap and why the words aren’t enough.

Forget About The Words – It is very easy to get hung up on what words to say when tapping. This short audio will help you put the words you say in perspective by showing you how easy it is to come up with tapping phrases and that you CANNOT do it wrong.

How I Start Every Session – Sometimes starting is the hardest part. We have so many thoughts and feelings swirling around that we are not sure where to begin. Here is how I start all my tapping sessions. This will ground you and clear your head a little so you do not feel overwhelmed.

EFT Script Generator – Answer 8 questions about the issue you want to tap on, hit the button, and *poof* you have a tapping script. Just read it and tap along.

10 Simple Steps To Tapping For Any Emotion Or Issue – I think the title says it all. Follow these these steps and you are set.

Do I Really Have To Say “I Love And Accept Myself”? – Asking that question is kind of like saying “I really like riding my bike, but I skip all the uphill parts.” Sometimes the phrase “I love and accept myself…” is hard to say. That is ok. If we are tapping, on some level we are working on loving ourselves more. Here is a great little tool that will come up with over 2,400 alternative set-up phrases you can use when tapping.

Can I Tap To Change My Spouse, Children, or Co-Worker? – I am asked all the time if there is a way for us to tap to change the behavior of the people in our lives. The short answer is NO, but the long answer is SORT OF. This my favorite EFT tool ever!

When Unexpected Things Come To Mind – There are going to be times when you are tapping and something unexpected comes to mind. It might be a new emotion, a different issue, or something so off the wall that you have no idea where it came from. Here is what to do when unexpected things come to mind when you are tapping.

Tap Along Audios – Let someone else do the work. Here is list of over 35 free tap along audios. Pick a topic that you need to tap for, hit play, start tapping, and feel the relief.

Conclusion

Remember there is no wrong way to do tapping. There are tapping rounds that are successful and tapping rounds where you learn you need to try it in a different way. It is ok to tap in a way that is not perfect (because there is no such thing as perfect tapping). Give it a try with these new tools and each time you do it you will grow in skill and in confidence.

Pod #88: I Am Better At Teaching EFT Because Of My Time In Jail

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Since Feb of 2011 I have had the opportunity to be part of teaching an advanced anger management class to inmates in a local jail. I consistently describe the experience as “the coolest thing in my life.” It has been a really amazing experience and I have learned a lot from it.

I was lucky enough to be Jondi Whitis’ guest for the June episode of “eftTapFest” which is part of EFT Radio On-Line. In the conversation we talk about:

  • What I have learned about teaching EFT by teaching it in a Jail
  • What I have learned about creating a community to rally in support of one cause
  • What I have learned about stretching myself
  • What I have learned about crowd funding

Even if you never intend to work with inmates, write a book, or lead a community of support, there is a lot you can learn in this conversation.

Is It OK For Christians To Use EFT?

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photo by Gene Monterastelli

As you may or may not know, since 1996 I have traveled the US and Canada speaking and performing as part of APeX Ministries. APeX is a Catholic Christian performance ministry that works with teens and because of this I am frequently asked about tapping from a Christian point of view.

Here are my thoughts on the topic. Please be warned that I am not speaking for Christians, Catholics, or any specific denomination. These are my thoughts and my thoughts alone. I would love your feedback in the comment section below.

Instead of tackling the topic all at once here are the four most common questions I am asked about the topic.

Is EFT evil and/or does it come from an evil place?

EFT is a mechanical process. If you follow the steps it will work. Much like an aspirin it will work even if you don't believe in it. There have been over 50 peer reviewed studies for using EFT with stress, PTSD, and physical issues and it is probable that in the next 12 months EFT will be considered an evidence based technique (check out summaries of the studies).

Often the problem isn't with EFT itself, but when it is combined with things that are not evidence based. Here is my favorite way to explain this concept:

We know that vitamin C is good for our health. Let's pretend that because it is good for our health people decide to start using it for other things. They start adding it to their shampoo to deal with dandruff, they add it to lotion to improve their skin, they sprinkle it in the garden to help their crops grow, and they make earrings out of it to keep evil spirits away.

Just because people are doing wacky things with vitamin C it doesn't stop it from keeping us healthy during cold and flu season, but it becomes much easier to dismiss its usefulness when it when it is surrounded by things that are less grounded.

I love the fact that EFT is something that is so easy to access and share, but it comes with the drawback that everyone who presents EFT becomes a spokesperson for EFT. Some people do this in a highly credible way, while others are less successful. I find it so frustrating when EFT websites have things like dragonflies and butterflies on them. Yes, they are cute, but they don't present this powerful healing tool in a very professional light.

When working with EFT it is important that you work with people you trust and learn from sources that share your world view to ensure you are getting what you need and what is the best fit for you.

Can EFT be useful for my spiritual journey?

I have found EFT to be an extremely powerful tool in my personal growth. Many of the ways it has been helpful has been with my spiritual journey and spiritual life, which is easiest to illustrate through an example:

I believe that I have been created worthy of God's unconditional love. It is not something that I have to earn in any way and it is always there. My problem isn't in believing in God's unconditional love, but the fact that I prevent myself from fully acknowledging and receiving it.

I will hear someone say “God loves you unconditionally” and the little voice in my head will pipe up, “That is true for others but not you,” or “It would be true if you didn't do those horribly selfish things!” or “Maybe someday, but you are too much of a screw-up to be loved in that way right now.”

Even though it is true that I am loved unconditionally by God, I end up living as if that isn't true.

EFT has been a powerful tool in my life in uprooting the beliefs around feeling unworthy of God's love. As I remove these beliefs it makes it easier and easier for me to see myself as God sees me.

EFT is no replacement for spiritual practices, an active prayer life, or participating in a supportive loving community of fellow believers who encourage us and keep us accountable. It is one more tool that we can add to our regular practice to keep us healthy and facilitate our growth and healing in conjunction with many other tools.

What is the deal with “We are all energy”?

In my mind this a case of a little information being dangerous. The statement itself is accurate. Everything in the universe is energy. Einstein's theory of relativity concerns this fact. E = m c ^2 says that an amount of matter (m) multiplied by a really big number (c ^ 2 is the speed of light squared) is equal to the amount of energy of which it is made.

In layman's terms that means if we were able to turn the coffee cup on your desk into its pure energy form, it would be enough energy to blow the state of Kansas off the face of the earth. (Just because that is true, doesn't mean it is easy. If it were easy we wouldn't need oil to provide power, but that is another issue.)

The place that people start to go astray is how they apply what this means for us in an EFT sense. There are ramifications for this fact on a quantum level, but I am not smart enough to explain them (also at this point most of our quantum understanding is theoretical).

Most of the people who speak in this way are doing it terms of the “Law of Attraction” (LOA). If you would like my opinion specifically about LOA check out this conversation I had with Carol Look.

Just know that you can use EFT for physical and emotional issues without having to concern yourself with this approach or these issues. If someone is speaking in LOA terms and it makes you uncomfortable, then steer clear of their resources. It means they are not the right fit for you. It doesn't mean that EFT is bad.

What about when people talk about that we are co-creators?

Often times Christians have trouble with the term co-creator. It can feel like by making a statement like this we are putting ourselves on the same level as God. I don't believe this is the case. I use this term in two ways.

First, I am a creature who has been given free will. My life does not unfold unless I am exercising my free will by making choices. I create my own experience, but I am not doing this on my own. My experience is also created by the choices that are made by those around me, in both positive and negative ways. Someone in my life can choose to give me a new job opportunity or someone can hit me with a car. In both instances their choices are impacting the life I am creating for myself and in that sense we are co-creating, i.e. creating together, my experience. We don't have an equal sense of how much we are contributing to this reality, but both parts are creating it together.

Second, I believe part of my calling from God is to exercise my free will and to create a meaningful life. I can only do this because I have been given life, gifts, talents, and opportunities from God. Again, in that sense my experience is created in a combination of what God has given me and the choices I make, in other words a co-creation. This does not imply an equivalence between me and God, simply a working together.

Conclusion

I hope you find my reflections helpful. I am still on my own learning journey and don't claim to have all (or any) of the answers. I would love to hear your thoughts. Please add your thoughts or questions below so others can benefit from them, or drop me a note to let me know what is on your mind on the contact page.

Pod #87: EFT For Shoulders And Shoulds w/ Gwenn Bonnell

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In preparing for the podcast I usually exchange a few emails and do a pre-interview with the guest to figure out what topic we will cover and to create a plan for the interview so that it goes smoothly. When I was doing my pre-interview with Gwenn Bonnell I asked her what she wanted to talk about.

She said, “We could talk about shoulders and shoulds.”

I asked her repeat it because I wanted to make sure I heard her right. She really said, “shoulders and shoulds”.

I know many issues have a tendency to show up in the same part of the body over and over again, but I had never heard of the connection between shoulder issues and the things we feel we should do.

In this interview Gwenn does an amazing job of making the connection and showing us how we can respond with EFT.

Guest: Gwenn Bonnell

Contact Gwenn: web @ TapIntoHeaven.com; web @ TapAwayPain.com; email @ gwenn@tapintoheaven.com; phone @ 954 370 1552

About Gwenn: Gwenn is a writer, teacher and lecturer. She offers private sessions and training and workshops at Heaven On Earth in Davie, Florida. A graduate of the College of Health and Human Development, Penn State University, she is a member of ACEP, the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and has trained personally with Gary Craig (developer of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques), Dr. Larry Nims (BSFF, Be Set Free Fast), Tapas Fleming (TAT, Tapas Acupressure Techniques), Donna Eden and David Feinstein (Energy Medicine), Sandi Radomski (Allergy Antidotes), Alan Handelsman (Muscle Testing), Paul Burdelski (Touch for Health), and Piilani (Huna Kane).

Are You Entitled to Success? Passive Entitlement v. Active Entitlement

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[In this series we examine the importance of the words we use and how changing our vocabulary can change our minds, giving us opportunities for transformation. More articles can be found in this series @ Tools: Words]

photo by SweetCakery

In a recent episode of “Making It w/ Riki Lindhome” Riki and Pete Holmes were talking about the idea of entitlement. They were discussing the sense of entitlement that many young actors have when they first get to Hollywood. Many of them arrive in Los Angeles having been stars of their local theater scene. They think that by simply showing up they are entitled to success.

Riki made a distinction between “passive” and “active” entitlement. She stated that passive entitlement is when you show up to a situation and simply expect to get your way. For example, in a new job feeling like I should be able to work on the coolest projects.

On the other hand active entitlement is much more about what you are willing to work for. For example, who is to say that I am not capable of writing a best selling book? Writers of best sellers are not a preordained group of people who were destined for success. If I am willing to put in the work (i.e. by being active) then I, as much as anyone else, am entitled to create a best seller.

When we are in a state of passive entitlement we are not going to be able to move forward and are going to feel bitter that the universe is not giving us our just deserts. When we are in a state of active entitlement we recognize that we are capable of anything if we are willing to seize the opportunity.

To make sure that we are in a state of active entitlement we can tap on something like this:

I know that I am capable of being successful…I know that I have been made for success…but success and opportunity aren’t going to just show up at my front door…I need to seek success…I need to work for success…The universe owes me nothing more than the opportunity to work for what I am made to be…This does not mean that it must be a great struggle…This does not mean that I have to toil to achieve success…But I am entitled to success…I am entitled to opportunity…I have been made for this…I give myself permission to work actively towards the opportunities and success I am entitled to.

Action Step: What is something that you feel others are entitled too, but isn’t for you? Take a few moments to tap on it with the script above. Do it now! It will only take 90 seconds.