Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #422: How To Find Root Causes

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Recently I was working with a client who was frustrated with the process of tapping. He felt angry.

The process went like this:

  1. he felt angry
  2. he tapped for the anger
  3. he felt better
  4. some time would pass
  5. he felt angry again

Dealing with the same issue over and over again had him feeling incredibly frustrated.

As we did some work, it emerged that his anger was a symptom of a much deeper issue. The tapping for the anger was helpful in the short term, but since it wasn't the core issue, it kept coming back again and again.

In my client's case, his anger was like a notification light on the dashboard of a car where the problem isn't the red light itself, but the light is pointing out the actual problem. For him, tapping for the anger was no different than turning off the red notification light. It wasn't responding to the problem.

Identifying if what you are tapping on is the core issue or just a symptom can be tricky. Here are eight questions that you can ask while tapping to help you to go past the symptoms and reach the core issue.

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I Forgive Myself For My Past Mistakes – Video

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There is a part of our subconscious mind that wants to remember all of our mistakes. It believes that if we keep coming back to these mistakes again and again, then we won't repeat those mistakes.

In reality, when we beat ourselves up like this, we do exactly the opposite. Instead, we shy away from taking new actions to avoid beating ourselves up again in the future. That's why forgiving ourselves for past mistakes makes it easier for us to make good choices in the future.

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Pod #421: The Container Process

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We know that the most effective way to tap is when we are able to be as specific as possible with the issue at hand.

But a common misconception about this idea is that tapping is only useful if we are specific. But that is not what the statement above says. It says “as specific as possible”. There are times when we can't be super specific because what we are feeling isn't super specific!

Sometimes our experience is a collection of emotions and feelings that are much more general OR we are processing so much at once we can't be specific about any one issue or aspect.

When that happens I use what I call the Container Process. It's a tool I regularly use with my clients.

It is perfect for:

  • when you are experiencing lots of emotions at once
  • when you can't pin down exactly what you want to tap on
  • letting go of everything at the end of the day

Also, you will be able to master the process after hearing it just two or three times so you won't need the audio if you want to do it on your own.

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Best of 2019

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When I am planning the free resources for TappingQandA.com I take a number of factors into consideration. I receive feedback and requests from readers like you, common topics come up over and over again in my sessions with clients, and I look at past performance.

I am not one to obsess over download stats, but every few weeks I check in to see how the show is doing.

As I was looking back on 2019 and looking forward to 2020, I thought I would share with you some of the best of the best from the past year.

You might have missed these free resources when they came out the first time OR they weren't right for you when they first came out, but might be exactly what you need right now.

If you are only going to listen to one:
The Grounding Process – This is my favorite tapping tool ever. As I was compiling this list, I committed to doing this grounding process every night before I go to bed for the next 10 days.

My favorite tool:
Tapping To Music From Your Teen Years – Music is a powerful force anchoring us to our past. Here is a simple way to use music from your teen years to clear up any emotional baggage you are carrying from that time.

My favorite interview:
How to tell if you are making progress with Tapping w/ Mary Ayers – Of all the interviews I did last year, I learned the most from this one. I now use the way Mary talks about measuring progress with my own clients all the time.

Most commented upon:
What My Reaction To Others Says About Me – The most recent comment on this podcast was “Your best podcast, Gene. More, please.” I think this one struck a chord because it was so personal.

Most downloaded:

Most Downloaded from the archive:

As I stated above, I take reader and listener recommendations seriously. Some of the best episodes ever came from those recommendations. Please let me know who you would like me to interview and what topics you would like me to cover. All you need to do is reply to this note.

Just as a reminder. You can subscribe to the Tapping Q and A Podcast in a number of ways. It is – and will remain – completely free of charge. This isn't like a Netflix subscription.

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Thanks for listening,

Gene

PS: Did you know that you can support the Tapping Q and A Podcast and receive some amazing thank you gifts? Full details: http://tappingqanda.com/support

Pod #420: All The Choices You Make Are Functional

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Working with clients has allowed me to understand a fundamental of human nature: All the choices we make are functional choices.

In practical terms this means that all of the choices we make are the best choices that we can make in any given moment based on the information we have and our current resource state.

This does not mean that we always make good choices, choices we are proud of, or choices that we would like to make again in the future. Instead it means that we are making choices for a reason.

When we are able to recognize the emotional and intellectual reasons behind our choices, it highlights the areas we can address with tapping so that we can make better choices in the future.

In this podcast I share how you can understand why on a subconscious level we are making “functional” choices AND how we can make better choices in the future.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Tapping For Focus – Video

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Sometimes we try to focus but find that our minds are jumping all over the place. This short tap-along will help you to focus on the task before you.

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Pod #419: Tapping To Create Space For Your Goals

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Recently I was working with a client on using tapping to help him to go after some major goals in his life.

He didn’t need to address a particular issue, but instead he was looking for a good way to set himself up to pursue his goals. After we had done a few minutes of tapping, he felt at peace and was ready to pursue his goals for the day and in the long-term. He then said to me, “You need to share this as a podcast. Others will find it super helpful.”

So here it is! The audio is less than seven minutes long and I hope it also helps you to go after your goals today.

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Pod #418: Tapping For A Fresh Start

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We all know that New Year Resolutions don't work. It would be nice to believe that making a statement at midnight on December 31st would be enough to create fresh ways of thinking and acting, but it doesn't work that way.

With that being said, a new year is a great time to reevaluate our lives AND tapping is a great way to support any new goals.

This week I have a simple tap-along audio that will help you to create lasting change, rather than just a fleeting thought about what you'd like to improve at the beginning of the year that quickly evaporates.

This will help you to take new action and also help you with the emotional ups and downs of trying to realize a new goal.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Tapping For The Fear Of Missing Out – Video

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We live in a time of so many options. If we choose to do one thing, then we are choosing away from something else. This creates a fear of missing out which causes us to choose to do nothing at all. Here is a simple tap-along for when you are fearing that you are missing out.

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Pod #417: Tapping For A Better Night’s Sleep

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It seems like every client I've worked with in the last ten days has asked me about using tapping to help them to sleep better.

Daily stress is a common cause of sleep disruption because our systems can get caught up in trying to solve the problems of the previous day and consumed with the worries of tomorrow.

In this simple tap-along audio we spend time on physical and mental fatigue, as well as emotional exhaustion, and work on preparing the system for a great night of rest and relaxation. Let me know in the comments section below if this helps you out.

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Pod #416: Tapping For Urgency And Focus Without Fear

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Even though we spend most of our time tapping to try to reduce emotions, emotions are not our enemy. Our emotional response is our internal guidance system trying to keep us safe and on track.

Fear is an extremely helpful emotion in that it helps us to see danger BUT problems arise if our fear response is excessive and causes us to go into a state of flight, fight, freeze, or fog. When this happens, the fear moves from pointing out a problem, to crippling us.

Even when we notice that we are feeling fearful, it can be difficult to leave that state because our system thinks this is the best way to keep us on guard.

Today we are going to tap for neutralizing our fear and moving to a more useful state of focus and urgency. By having a proper sense of urgency we can stay on task without being crippled by fear.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Tapping For When We Feel Like An Outsider – Video

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Often times we move to the beat of a different drummer than those in our lives. This can feel overwhelming and isolating. Here is some simple tapping you can do when you feel like an outsider.

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Pod #415: What My Reaction To Others Says About Me

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I live in New York City, a pedestrian city where most people don’t drive. Even when you take mass transit you still need to walk a lot just to get around. The subway stop I use most is 3/4 of a mile walk from my apartment.

As a result, people here tend to be healthier than the national average because of the daily walking they're required to do, so I see far fewer obese people in NYC than I do in other parts of the United States.

Back in 2014 when this was originally recorded, I was in a rural part of the US. As we were entering a restaurant there was a group of people walking out. Two members of the group leaving the restaurant were obese; they were so big it was hard for them to walk.

And this is the really embarrassing part…when I saw them my first thought and emotion was one of disgust. It washed over my whole body so intensely that I felt sick to my stomach for a second.

The second emotion was of total shame for being disgusted. I was, and am, so disappointed in myself.

When something like this happens, our emotional response is about us. It is about how we see ourselves, the world, and what we think is safe. My feelings of disgust had little to do with the people I saw and everything to do with how I see myself.

In this recording you will hear me tap in real time for the feelings of disgust I experienced, the shame that soon followed, and all the issues that came up as I found my way to the root causes of those feelings.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Click here to Read what others have to say or add your own thoughts and comments. I would really love to hear what you think!

Pod #414: Tapping For When We Want Others To Change

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On a recent episode of the Judge John Hodgman podcast, one of the litigants (when talking about her husband) said “I want him to have what he wants. I just want him to want something different.”

That is such a relatable sentiment. Sometimes we believe we can see the best path for our loved ones, but at the exact same time we want them to be in control of their own lives and choices.

This week we talk about and tap about how to come to terms with wanting the best for others when they are making choices that we might not love.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Tapping of Holiday Stress – Video

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The holidays are a cray time. There is a all the extra holiday events, the financial stress of gift giving, and a never ending to do list. Here is a simple tap-along to help you with holiday stress.

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Pod #413: The Question That Can Change Everything

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When we are wanting to take action, it is very easy for us to be stuck because of worry. Worry is nothing more than a part of us trying to keep us safe by keeping an eye out for everything that could possibly go wrong.

The problem is that the part of us that worries, often worries way too much. The size of the concern for our safety doesn't match the size of any potential danger.

This week I have a simple question you can ask when facing self-sabotage and resistance to taking action. If you ask this question and tap with the answer, you will clear resistance and be able to take action quickly. What are you waiting for?!

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Pod #412: The Spiral Staircase of Healing

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My clients tell me all the time: “This is so frustrating! I feel like I am dealing with the same issue over and over again. When am I going to get past this!?!”

I can appreciate their frustration. We want to feel like the time we are spending on our transformation is fruitful. We want to move in a positive direction as we continue to do the work.

In reality, we aren't dealing with the same issue over and over again but dealing with different issues that feel the same.

This week I explore why it feels like you are repeatedly dealing with the same issue, why you aren't, and what is actually going on in the healing process.

Understanding this framework will make it easier to keep moving forward.

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Pod #411: Not Saying Not When Tapping

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A perfect example of this is in the shape of a question I often receive from my readers. It goes something like this:

I really love your tapping scripts, but I am worried because you use the word ‘not’ all the time. I know the subconscious mind doesn’t hear the word not. When you have us tap on “I am not going to be anxious” you are really tapping on “I am going to be anxious.” Aren’t you worried that you are tapping in something negative?

If you have ever worried about saying the word ‘not’ when tapping, then you need to listen to this podcast.

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Pod #410: Tapping To Be Happy With Where We Are And Striving For More At The Same Time

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It is good that we are thankful for what we have in our lives. Expressing gratitude helps us to be appreciative, grounded, and there are even health benefits to being thankful.

The problem is that on a subconscious level we may feel that wanting more means do not appreciate what we already have, and that can prevent us from moving forward.

This week I have a short tap-along audio and script to help you to be thankful AND move forward at the same time.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Pod #409: Sometimes the worst choice is not choosing anything

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Every time we make a choice we are limiting our future options. That is the simple reality of choice.

If I choose to study literature at university, I am limiting my ability to become a medical doctor. If I choose to go to Norway on vacation, that limits my ability to go to Japan this year. I have time for one movie tonight, so if I choose “Rear Window” I can’t watch “Strangers On A Train”.

Recognizing that one choice can limit our future choices can hold us back from taking action because we don’t want to miss out. In the end we choose to do nothing, which is a choice in itself.

In this short audio I share a few easy ways to approach making choices so that we don’t get stuck by choosing to do nothing at all. There is also a short tap-along audio to help clear the resistance to making choices.

You can find the full tapping script of this audio as a pdf over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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