A concept that I learned very early on in my training as a practitioner was: Our emotional response is dictated by how we describe the world, and not the way the world actually is.
That’s why I am constantly asking my clients for more details about how they understand what is going on in their lives. In many cases, when we are able to change the way they describe their situation, their emotions shift, even before we have started tapping.
One of the words that always gets my attention, is when a client uses the word “should”. Should, by its very nature, implies an expectation which may or may not be true. (In practice, it almost always implies an expectation that isn’t true.)
There are three parts to this week’s podcast:
We explore where our sense of “should” comes from and why it can cause emotional problems, which in turn lead us to not taking action, or taking actions that aren’t right for us.
I share a simple process that you can use to interrogate the actions that you feel you “should” be taking. This process will help you to pin down the origin of a specific should, and whether or not it serves you.
A simple tap-along to do once you realize you can let go of something you believe you should be doing. (I have included a written out script of the tap-along below the audio player.)
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I recognize the fact that I feel like I should do this…Should is a powerful word…When I use the word should…It feels like I must…When I use the word should…It feels like I have to…When I use the word should…It feels as if I am out of control…But it makes sense that I feel like I am obliged to something that others say I should do…There is an ancient and primitive part of me that recognizes that if I was pushed outside of the tribe, I would die…Because staying connected to the community was a matter of life or death…Staying connected to the community was a necessity…And going against the grain was dangerous…Going against the grain was perilous…Therefore I have learned to do what the community wants and expects…Because at one point in history it was a matter of life and death…But that is no longer the case…And I can go my own way and survive…I can make the choices that are best for me and thrive…And because of this, the word should doesn’t have to hold so much power over me…Recognizing that can be difficult…Because most of the shoulds in our lives have been passed on by people close to us…We all want to belong and be connected…Especially to those closest to us…But I give myself permission to know that I can stay connected to my loved ones…Without having to do what they think I should be doing…I’m allowed to do what I want…I am safe choosing what I want…I can remain connected to others while choosing what I want…When anyone says I should do something…I can take that as input…I can take that as something to consider…But it is nothing more than someone else’s opinion…And I am allowed to take it for as much or as little as I want…I get to choose what is right for me…Not because of the cultural norm…Not because someone else said I should do it…But simply because I want to do it…I give myself permission to let go of the word should…There’s nothing I should do…There are only things that I choose to do…And things I choose not to do…I am responsible for those choices…I am responsible for the consequences of those choices…But they are my choices…Because I choose to do them…Not because I should do them…I give myself permission to have control over my own life and my own choices…I give myself permission to let go of should.
In 
Guest: Melissa Beasley
Divorce is a tricky subject. 
Guest: Kate Anthony
A common characteristic of people involved in personal development and self-help is that they are caring and thoughtful people. As well as trying to improve their own lives, they strive to make the world a better place.
Our internal critical voice is one of the key reasons we fail to take the action we want in life. This constant nagging voice in our heads points out all of our past failings, why we aren’t capable of taking action now, and why we will fail in the future.
Guest: Jacqui Letran
As much as I love tapping, it is not the only or best tool that we can use for our health and wellbeing. 
Guest: Kris Ferraro
In part one of 
Feeling like we don’t belong is tough. It might be because we don’t feel we are smart enough, talented enough, have something offer the world, or that we just don’t fit in. 
In 
Guest: Lori Lamont
Grief is a topic that we don’t talk about much publicly. We talk about loss. We talk about moving on. But we don’t talk about grief itself. 
Guest:Lynne Staley
One the most important ideas that I try to convey to all of my clients is the fact that emotions are not the enemy. Emotions are not a problem that we need to fix. 
It is always encouraging to hear first-person success stories.
Tapping is a powerful tool in helping us to find relief from physical and emotional discomfort. It can reduce pain in the moment, diminish overpowering emotions, and can even help us to see a problem more clearly.
Through my work with clients, I have come to realize that the fear of rejection is the biggest obstacle to taking positive action in our lives.
Because of all of the conversations around the law of attraction and manifesting in the self help community, I often hear the concern “I don’t want to say any negative phrases when I am tapping because I’m worried I’ll manifest negative outcomes in my life.”
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on challenging and changing thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and the development of personal coping strategies that target solving current problems.
Guest: Joan Kaylor
With every passing year, more and more research is being conducted into how tapping works and its efficacy. Dr. Peta Stapleton is one of the researchers at the forefront of this work.
Guest: Dr. Peta Stapleton
As Dr. Rick Henson shared with us back in 
Even though tapping is such a powerful tool, at times it feels as if it is just taking too long to get the results we want.
In this conversation with Brad Yates he shares the Zig Ziglar quote “You cannot consistently perform in a manner which is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.”
Guest: Brad Yates