Feeling like we don’t belong is tough. It might be because we don’t feel we are smart enough, talented enough, have something offer the world, or that we just don’t fit in.
Feeling like a fraud means that we don’t contribute or speak up, we hide in the background, or we don’t even show up. All of these strategies are to keep us safe because we don’t want to be found out.
In most cases, feeling like a fraud has nothing to do with who we are, what we can do, and what we have to offer. Instead, it is because we are comparing what is going on inside our head with what we see on the outside of those around us.
We know our intentions and when we don’t live up to them. We know the fear or insecurity we feel when we are taking action. At the same time, we only see what others do and assume (wrongly) that they are acting with perfect confidence and calm.
This means we aren’t treating ourselves fairly!
Below is a tap-along audio and tapping script that will help you to tap when you feel like a fraud. It will help you to see yourself for who you are and see those around you for who they are.
I know what my interior life is like…I know the thoughts that I have…I know the feelings I have experienced…I know when I’m afraid to take action…I know when I’m insecure about what I’m doing…When I see others around me taking action…I assume they are calm…I assume they are confident…Because all that I can see is their outside…I don’t know their emotional state…I don’t know their internal dialogue…I don’t understand their true level of confidence in the moment…When I don’t understand their emotional state and I do understand my emotional state…It’s easy for me to make an unfair comparison…I assume they have everything together…And I know that I don’t know what to do…Therefore I don’t feel like I belong…I feel like I shouldn’t be respected…I feel like I have less to offer…I feel like I’m a giant fraud…And when I feel like I’m a fraud…I’m even more hesitant to take action…I’m afraid that I’m going to be found out…I’m afraid they’re going to see me for who I truly am…I believe they are going to think less of me…The truth is that I do belong…The truth is I do have much to offer…The truth is they aren’t as confident as they seem…Because they have an internal dialogue as well…They have an internal emotional state as well…When I feel like a fraud…It is because I’m making an unfair comparison…I’m comparing their external facade with my internal turmoil…That’s not fair to me…That is not a fair comparison…I give myself permission to feel present and connected…I give myself permission to know that I belong…I give myself permission to know that I have something to offer.