Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Relationship To Food (6 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 6 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Carl Carpenter

One of the places it is easiest to emotionally beat ourselves up is over the types of foods we are eating. There are days that we can feel great because we have eaten “good” food, while other days we can be emotionally distraught be cause we ate “bad” foods.

It can be a dangerous when we build our emotional state off of the types foods that we have eaten. Part of the problem is the fact that there are no such thing as good food and bad food. Food is nothing more than nourishment and energy that the body uses to help to power and maintain the body.

Now, it is true that some foods are better at doing these jobs than others, but it is not a simple cut a dry good and bad. Consider these examples:

  • foods that are good for one functions, but not another (protein is a great source of energy and building blocks for the body, but most froms of protein take time for the body to break down and if they are eaten in the evening they hinder necessary sleep)
  • foods that are good for one person, but not for another (I love nuts, but I have friends that could die from eating them)
  • foods that are good in one portion (eating few raisins is good, but 2lbs of raisins for lunch and I am not going to be leaving the

    • bathroom for hours)

Our worth, our value, and who we are going to become is not related to the food we eat. Food is a tool. As we talked in Dealing With Mindless Eating sometimes the food is serving another function than just providing nourishment and energy, but as a way to deal with emotions. Even here, even thought it is not being used for our betterment, it is still a tool.

By taking steps to eliminate mindless eating we are going to help change our emotional state about when we are eating. In addition to that step we also do some work improving our relationship the food that we are eating when we do eat and take the emotional charge away from that experience.

The tapping might look something like:

I have to eat food…food is necessary for me to stay alive…I need it to maintain and energize my body…i am very blessed to have some many different food options in my life…I live in a time and place in which I can choose foods not only because they help my body to function…but I also can choose food based off of what I enjoy eating…sometimes I am very hard on myself because of the foods I choose to know…I know there are foods that are better for me…but I choose food that is bad for me…I recognize the fact that there is no such thing as bad food…there are foods that might not provide as much nourishment as others…there are foods that are better for me at one time than another…there are some foods that are better for me in one amount, but not another…there are even foods that my body can't process affectively and I should avoid…but none of this means that food is bad…food is not the enemy…I know I need to make good choices about the food I consume…but by understanding what food is…I am going to be less likely to be hard on myself when I eat “bad” food…my body knows the food that I need in every situation…there are times that I need fiber…or protein…or vitamins…or minerals…when I recognize that food is not the enemy…then I can trust my body to ask for the food that it needs in this moment…my body has the wisdom to ask for the needs that are needed to grown…maintain…and power the body…I give myself to trust my body to ask for the food it needs…to do this I need to be in tune with my body…which I can do…by doing this I will be more likely to eat the food the body needs for this moment in time…because this is a unique moment in time…and the body has unique needs…food is not the enemy…the goal is good choices…and I am not going to make the right choice every time…but we have a body that can handle that…I choose to see food as a tool…an enjoyable tool at times…but a tool…it is not good…or bad…food does not have a morality…there are foods that are more right for this moment…food is not bad.

In part 7 of this series we will look at our relationship to others in regard to food.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Top 9 Articles/Topics (UPDATE)

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photo by La Famille Rapp

Over the lifetime of this web site I have been keeping a very close tab on the most frequently asked questions and the most popular articles about tapping/EvEFT. Here are nine common topics, most of which are based on conversations with clients and e-mails from readers, dealing with why Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping works, what a person can expect during the healing process, and how to improve one's tapping practice. Please keep the questions coming.

* * * *

Why Do I Have To Tap?
When I share tapping with people the most common reaction is skepticism, which makes perfect sense. Based on their past experience it does seem unreasonable that tapping on their body would make more of a difference than thinking up new solutions. In this three-part series I explore why tapping is useful and often much more useful than brainstorming.

Why Do I Say Negative Phrases When Tapping?
One of the most common questions I get about tapping is about negative phrases. Clients are very worried that by focusing on the negative aspects they are going to reinforce them. When something is not right in our life we are going to focus on the negative aspects regardless because when we want better we notice what we would like to change. Tapping doesn't reinforce these ideas, but uses them for transformation.

Why Do I Have A Hard Time Sitting Down To Tap?
Sometimes our desire to improve is not enough. We can resist our transformation in powerful ways. Here are some of the common reasons that we resist making the changes we want and need, as well as strategies to get past each type of resistance.

The Process Of Healing
There is a very specific process to how we heal. It often doesn't happen all at once and when we understand this, it's easier for us to recognize the progress we have made and to plan the next step. Acknowledging this progress in particular helps to keep us motivated to do the necessary work and move forward quickly.

What Is The Deal With Surrogate Tapping?
As strange as tapping seems, surrogate tapping seems even stranger. It doesn't seem possible or reasonable that we can tap on ourself and see change in someone else. In these two resources we look at how it isn't about us changing someone else, but how we can be an agent of change. This is very powerful stuff.

Using Information For Our Body To Find Core Issues
Just because we think we know the reason for our issues DOES NOT mean that we really know the reasons for our issues. Often we are wrong because we are too close to the situation or are simply misunderstanding the information. Our bodies, which are not hamstrung by our beliefs and misperceptions, frequently possess higher wisdom about our issues. The body simply knows what it is experiencing and we can leverage this information in our healing process. Here are a number of suggestions on how to tune into the body to access this knowledge.

Emotional Triggers
Everyone has something that sets him or her off. These emotional triggers are no surprise to us and often they are no surprise to our loved ones! In this three-part series we look at how we can deal with emotional triggers when they are activated. and then how to deactivate them permanently.

Change For The Future
One of my favorite tapping/EvEFT applications is using it to insure that we make better choices and get closer to the life we really want to live. Here are two processes to positively impact our future. (These are far and away the most read articles on the site.)

Specialty Series
In addition to the regular articles and podcast on the site as of January of 2010 there is always a specialty series. These are a series of resources that go much more in-depth to one issue of many articles.

BONUS: My Personal Favorites
There are a number of resources that I have created that I am particularly proud of. Many of those articles can be found in the nine topic areas above. There are a number of my favorites that don't fit into one of those categories. Maybe, if you read between the line you will learn a little something about where I am in my life. Here they are in no particular order.

Pod #29: Turning Your Issues Into Allies In 9 Easy Steps

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One of the most powerful insights I have had in my practice in the last 18 months was the recognition that every issue we have is trying to serve us in some way. This does not mean that issue is successful in doing so, in fact often the effect of the issue is to make our life worse rather than better. In podcast I explain an easy 9 step process you can use with Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping to transform your issues into powerful resources for growth.

Resources For This Pod

Negative Thoughts (A New Way To Use Negative Thoughts To Clear Issues)

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I am trying to get rid of the negative thoughts and feelings. Isn't saying and thinking negative thoughts while Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping just reinforcing the negative situation I am in? Shouldn't I just be saying positive things?


photo by Christine Vaufrey

This is one of the most common questions that beginner tapper ask. It seem counter intuitive to think of negative thoughts to get better. In the article Why do I have to tap? How is Tapping Different From Just Thinking About The Issue? I explain the whys and hows of negative thoughts while tapping.

In a nut shell when we are tuning into the negative emotion we are tuning into the root of the issue and giving us direct access to the issue we would like to heal. Recently Dr. Kiya Immergluck shared a really interesting thought in her news letter on one of the ways we can use negative thoughts to clear the issues.

What Kiya suggests is that we indulge our mind in revenge fantasies while we are tapping. I think this is helpful for two reasons. First, at least for me, when I am really angry at someone my mind is going to drift some of these thoughts any way so I might as well use them for healing. Second, I think it is health to meet head on the thoughts we have that aren't for our highest good. Instead of pretending these thoughts aren't there, we are getting a chance to recognize and heal them.

Here is Kiya's article in its entirety (reprinted with permission) followed by a few more comments.

Revenge Tapping
Dr. Kiya L. Immergluck, LCPC
eft-tap.com

I went to hear a very wise woman speak recently, and she answered someone’s question in a very unusual way. A woman I’ll call “Jane” asked: “How can I get over the resentment I feel about being stuck taking care of my abusive mother now that she’s old and there are no other relatives?”

I was sure the wise woman was going to speak about forgiveness, or the possibility of learning valuable lessons, or the “gift” of having time to heal a toxic relationship. But the message was very clear and very controversial. She said:

“Entertain revenge fantasies!”

I was so shocked, I almost fell out of my chair, and then I began to laugh. I realized that it was actually a very good idea. She emphasized that the exercise was about fantasy and not about anything real. Jane began to laugh and said immediately: I just pictured the movie “Misery!”

If you don’t remember, the movie pictured a very crazy woman holding a man captive and causing him great bodily harm. I knew that Jane wouldn’t ever really hurt her mother, but giving herself permission to have violent fantasies was very comforting for her.

I knew that tapping would be an excellent tool so that a person could have unacceptable and inappropriate negative fantasies, and feel totally neutral about them with no guilt or discomfort.

For example, Jane could have tapped:

SoH: Even though I am having terrible fantasies about revenge on my mother, I accept myself anyway. (3X)
EB: These “Misery” fantasies…
SE: These “Misery” fantasies…
UE: I feel so guilty…
UN: These “Misery” fantasies…
Ch: I shouldn’t have them…
CB: I am being a “bad daughter.”
UA: These “Misery” fantasies…
UB: I would never REALLY do anything to hurt her…
Wr: But it is so comforting
T of H: I am being a “bad daughter.”
(Side of Hand, Eye Brow, Side of Eye, Under Eye, Under Nose, Chin, Collar Bone, Under Arm, Under Breast, Wrist, Top of Head.)

The idea of giving voice to negative thoughts has often been confusing for some of my students. Once, a retired minister in her 80’s came to one of my tapping workshops, and couldn’t understand why we were saying such “un-Christian” statements about situations, other people, and ourselves. She spent her lifetime teaching people to be kind, patient and loving. Her message to her congregation was always to “be patient,” “show Christian charity,” and work hard to get to a place of “forgiveness” for our enemies.

What I always emphasize is that we are only giving voice to the negative thoughts that already exist within us. I believe that some of our stress-related physical illnesses can be traced back to the “unacceptable” negative emotions that we bury in our psyches.

With the added tool of tapping, we let those emotions out in the open so that the negative emotions are neutralized and really dispersed for good. Remember, revenge tapping is only about fantasy, never about seriously wanting to harm yourself or anyone else.

Like all tapping tools, this isn't for everyone. If this is something you are not comfortable indulging in, then don't. Be safe. Know your self. If this is something you are comfortable doing then it is going to take the edge off your rage and anger by moving it from something that is bubbling under the surface and bring it in to the light of day it is going to lose its power and were are going to be able to heal it.

Avoiding Bitterness

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[Note: From time to time some of the resources on this site come from a more personal world-view. I do not claim to have a monopoly on truth. This is just a point of view. If this does not serve you I hope you are able to find other resources on the site that speak to you.]

Here is a quote from one of the many newsletters I am subscribed to:

photo by Sean Dreilinger
    In order to let suffering transform us, we must let it take us to the edge of our own inner resources where alone we can “fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31), even against our will. We must pray for the profound grace of this second stage of softening and opening in the presence of suffering.

    My personal opinion is that this is the very meaning of the phrase “deliver us from evil” in the Our Father (the Lord’s Prayer). We aren’t asking to avoid all suffering. It is more that we pray, “when the big trials come, God, hold onto me, and don't let me turn bitter or blaming—an evil that leads to so many other evils. When I am led to the edge of my own resources may I fall into YOU, who are my true and lasting Source.”


Excerpted and adapted from “Opening the Door: Great Suffering and Great Love”
from “The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See”
by Fr. Richard Rohr

Which leads me to tap:

I know that through out this day I am going to face trails and struggles…some will be created by the situation…while others will be created by my choices…some will be big and some will be small…the emotions I feel in these moments will be real…but I know that they will not all reflect the truth…I pray that I am able to recognize in every trail and struggle that I face…that I am able to see this as another moment of healing…I am not seeking out struggle for the sake of growth…but know that in these moments of struggle I will be given the opportunity to heal and grow…help me on this day not to give way to bitterness…hopelessness…and…disconnection from the love of God…give me vision to see God's presents in all moments…help me to know that God's love is not something I need to seek…but that it is full here…and I need to simply accept it…I know that struggle can make me jaded and bitter…preventing me form not only miss God's love in this moment, but the next as well…struggle is not the enemy…bitterness is…I can make loving choices in the middle of struggle…it is hard for me to make loving choices in the midst of my own bitterness…help me not to dismiss struggle…but to see it for what it truly is