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Pod #35: Improving Performance or Learning with Tapping w/ Jared Tendler

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Our ability to be successful with any task is not dependent just on our skill set, but also our mental frame of mind before, during, and after we take action. This frame of mind can impact not only our ability but also how we learn new tasks and improve our skill. In this podcast I talk to Jared Tendler. Jared works with golfers and poker players around their mindset and frame of mind. Both of these games are great for looking at how our mindset affects us because of the immediate feedback we get from each choice. In this interview Jared talks about many different ways we can look at our mental outlook and how it relates to choice. The experienced tapper will see right away how to combine these mindset approaches with our Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping.

This interview is packed with information. There are times when I finish an interview and am just blown away by what I have learned, and this is one of those instances. I recommend listening to the podcast a few times and doing with a pen and paper to hand.

 

Jared Tendler

Guest: Jared Tendler

Contact: web @ JaredTendlerGolf.com; web @ JaredTendlerPoker.com; e-mail @ contact; Phone @ (480) 240-8983

About Jared: Jared Tendler, MS, LMHC, is the leading expert in the mental game poker without being a player himself. He has coached over 350 poker players hailing from 40 countries, including several of the top poker players in the world. He is also the author of two best-selling books, The Mental Game of Poker 1 & 2.

Prior to becoming the leading expert in poker, Jared was a mental game coach for golfers. His interest in golf psychology was born from his own mental game issues. Jared played collegiate golf for Skidmore College, where he was a three-time All-American and won nine tournaments. But he was continually choking in major national events.

Driven to find answers, he got a Master’s degree in psychology and became a licensed therapist to solve the problems conventional golf psychology couldn’t. In 2005, he began working with golfers and coached players on the LPGA, PGA and Nationwide Tour, top-ranked juniors, and serious amateurs. In 2007, after coaching a former professional golfer turned poker player, Jared began translating his practical and straightforward approach to poker. Seven years later, his methods have proven to help players of varying abilities, from top professionals to beginners.

Links From Is Podcast:

  • Jared’s book Mental Game Strategy

Pod #34: Using NLP Logical Levels w/ Wil Horton

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In a number of Gary Craig’s original EFT DVDs he talked about how helpful knowing and understanding NLP concepts are. I can speak from my own experience at how valuable these principles, concepts, and techniques are when working with clients or doing self-work. In this pod I interview the National Foundation Of Neuro Linguistic Programming founder Dr. Wil Horton. In this interview we talk about the different logical levels of change. When we recognize all of the different levels in which change can happen at it can speed the healing process as well as identify the places we need to do extra work.


Dr. Wil Horton

Guest: Dr. Wil Horton

Contact: web @ NFNLP.com; Phone @ (941) 408-8551

About Wil: William D. Horton, Psy. D., CADC, is a licensed Psychologist, an alcohol and drug counselor, a Master Trainer of Neuro Linguistic Programming, a Certified Hypnotherapist and trained through the Red Cross program for Critical Incident Stress Debriefing. He has been trained in crisis/hostage negotiation by the FBI at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA, and also recently taught at an FBI Lead Crisis Negotiation Course. A veteran of the Army and Naval Reserve, Dr. Horton is considered one of the leading experts in subconscious communications.

He is the founder of the National Federation of Neurolinguistic Psychology, NFNLP, one of the fastest growing organizations for NLPers in the world. NFNLP serves as a network for professionals who use NLP to share experiences, new techniques and applications, and other useful information from their fields of expertise. NFNLP and Dr. Horton have changed the face of NLP forever. It is NLP for the 21st Century!

Finding the Words To Use – Quick Tip

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I love this tip. This is an easy, straight forward way of coming up with phrases by Tania A. Prince. I would encourage you to check out her web site http://www.eft-courses.co.uk/ as well as the interview we did earlier this year (Getting To The Root Of A Current Issue).

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For many people knowing which words to tap on is a major block that can stop them in their tracks when they think about using EFT.

One of the easiest ways to identify the words to tap on is to ask yourself, “how do I know that I have this problem?”

Do I have a feeling attached to it? If so, what is it, where is it, what quality does it have? ( For example is it heavy, light, moving, still etc)

How intense is the feeling now? (This is important so that you can keep a check on the progress that you are making)

What did I think to get that feeling?

Once you have this information you can set the EFT up as follows:

Karate Point: “So even though I have this (describe the feeling) in my (location of feeling) when I think about (describe what you thought about), I completely and totally love and approve of myself”.

Karate Point: “So even though I have this (describe the feeling) in my (location of feeling) when I think about (describe what you thought about), I completely and totally love and approve of myself”.

Karate Point: “So even though I have this (describe the feeling) in my (location of feeling) when I think about (describe what you thought about) I completely and totally love and approve of myself”.

Eye Brow Point: “this (describe the feeling)”

Side of the Eye Point: “in my (location of feeling)”

Under the Eye Point: “when I think about (describe what you thought about)”

Under the Nose Point: “this (describe the feeling)”

Chin Point: “in my (location of feeling)”

Collar Bone Point: “when I think about (describe what you thought about)”

Under the Arm Point: “this (describe the feeling)”

(This is the EFT Shortened tapping sequence- it differs from the original Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping sequence as it does not use the finger tapping points)

Now check how intense the feeling is and keep tapping until the intensity goes to zero. You may need to modify the words that you use to describe the feeling as you go along as these can change.

Pod #33: Two Keys To A Thriving Practice w/ Carol Look

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As time passes I am increasingly working with clients on building their own practices. There is a real feeling of “try it on everything” in the Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping community but as we move from helping our friends with headaches and cravings for chocolate to working with clients, we need more than just a willing spirit. In this interview EFT Master Carol Look speaks frankly about two key issues to keep in mind when you are starting a practice.
[Read more…] about Pod #33: Two Keys To A Thriving Practice w/ Carol Look

People Might Not Like It When We Change

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I have been using tapping for the last six months and love the results. One thing I have noticed is that my family is not excited about my change at all. Some of the members of my family even resent it. Is this common and is there anything I can do about it?


photo by Jeremy Brooks

At first I was amazed at the number of times that I heard stories like these from my clients. As time has passed I have come to realize that not only is this a common occurrence, but it is something that makes a great deal of sense.

Every relationship that we have is a co-creation. Inside of this relationship there is an exchange of some sort. What I provide to the relationship is different from what my friend is providing and that is great. It wouldn’t be a great deal of fun to have every relationship be exactly the same from each side. If that were the case every relationship we have would just be in relationship with ourselves.

For example, in the teacher/student relationship the teacher is getting a chance to share wisdom and knowledge and the student is getting a chance to learn. In a marriage the wife might be the encouragement to help the husband peruse bigger things and the husband might be the calming force in the wife’s life.

[Note: I have a feeling the way I am talking about relationships might not be sitting well with you. This might seem like it is too much of a transaction and less of a loving relationship. I agree I am talking about relationships is very base terms here. I am only speaking in this way to understand why others struggle when we change.]

Every relationship not matter how big or small there is a give and take. Even if it is in very subtle small ways there is an exchange. In most cases is it not a clear cut set of roles and in most cases we don’t even think about it.

When we change we change the basic nature of many of the relationships that we have. For example when the student has learned enough they are going to move on from the teacher. This is not a dismissal of the teacher or the teacher’s knowledge, but an acknowledgement the dynamic of the relationship is now different. In some cases the relationship ends while other times the nature of the relationship changes as they be come peers.

On change is not preferable to another. It is just a nature of relationship. Each relationship has it own time and season. Some people pass through our live briefly, other pass in and out and back in again, while still others just keep changing and evolving with time.

As we are going through change work, cleaning out the wounds from the past, and evolving into more complete people the relationships in our lives are going to change. Because we are different people we are going to need different things and we are going to provide different things from our relationships.

Let’s look at an extreme example. That’s say we start this process we a very low sense of self esteem. Because of this we let a number of our family members walk all over us and take advantage of us because we are not willing to stick up for ourselves. When they take advantage (and may times this is happening subconsciously) they are able to get us to tasks they don’t want to do or they might get to feel better by putting us down.

After working with a practitioner a number of times we have been able to improve our self esteem to the point that we are willing to stand up for ourselves and we are no longer allowing ourselves to be talked into doing tasks for our family members when we don’t what to.

It is very easy to see how our family members (again in a subconscious way) would not like the fact that we have made this change because they are no longer getting us to do stuff for them and they are loosing a chance to feel superior.

Most of the change we are going to go through is not going to be this dramatic, but every change we make is going to change the way we interact with the world, therefore causing the expectations of the people in our life to no longer be met.

All of this happens in a very subconscious way. Our loved ones are not thinking to themselves “You have changed and your are no longer giving me what I want out of this relationship.” Instead they are simply noticing their needs are no longer being met and therefore they are going to be angry.

What I have just explained here is a major piece of resistance many people have to making change in their life. They have made small changes in the past that they have felt the backlash from their loved ones. Because this has happened in a subconscious way they are going to prevent change in the future because they don’t want to deal with this again.

There are good reasons to not change in this moment. How your loved ones are going to react to that change in most cases is not a good one.

You are worthy of change. The way they choose to react to that change is their choice. It is not your responsibility. They are responsible for their emotional state.

I share this information for two reasons. First, it is good to notice if you are preventing yourself form changing because you fear how others will react to the change. Second, it is helpful to be able to name why people are so resistant to your change. It will help you not to take is personally, but instead see that they are struggling with their own emotions and it is not something you are responsible for.

Here is some tapping you can do around this issue:

I know I want to change…I am worthy to evolve…I want my life to be richer…I want to be healthier…I want to be whole…I understand that there are people in my life who don’t want me to change…they might say they want me to change…they might even believe they want me to change…but on a subconscious level there is a part of them that wants me to stay the way I am…because when I stay the way I am they don’t have to make any changes to their life…therefore some of them are going to fight the changes I am making…and they are going to be angry at me for making those changes…I don’t want to cause pain in other people’s live…but that is NOT what I am doing here…the people in my life are responsible for their own emotional state…they are the ones who are creating that…I am worthy of change…I am not going to stop my change because it makes others uncomfortable…my evolution is too important…I give myself to permission to change…in my change I might even provide a model for those in my life that they can change too…I am not responsible for my loved ones emotional state…I am responsible to my true authentic self.