Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #28: It’s Not Surrogate But It Helps Others To Make Different Choices

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I often receive questions about how to tap in order to change someone else’s behavior. There are some very specific implementations of surrogate Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping, such as in the work I do with autistic children and their parents. But it is not as simple as tapping to change other people’s choices. We can't tap to change someone else’s free will, but we can tap to create an environment where others have a chance to make new and better choices. In this podcast I explain three ways in which we can help others to make different choices: by working on our own emotions, making others feel loved and safe, and by not bringing our own issues to the table.

Resources for this podcast:

Further resources on surrogate tapping:

Pre-Emptive Tapping (5 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 5 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Mai Bui

Most of the time when it comes to our mindless eating we know where our problem spots are. Not only do we know the types of food that cause us problems, we know the situations that are going to be hard for us. Going out with friends, the donuts that are at work on Monday, and heading to any sort of party can cause us worry.

It would be great to believe that will power would be enough in the situations that we know are going to be hard for us. The reality is there are going to be times when will power is not enough until we get the issues that are underlying the mindless eating under control. Until this is accomplished we can tap ahead of time to insure we are going to make healthier choices.

Step one is tune into the level of craving we believe we might feel in the problem situation. For example, if we are going to a party where there is going be lots of yummy sweets just image what it is going to be like around all your temptation foods. By doing this you should be able to get a good sense of how hard it is going to be.

Step two is to tap on what is coming. For the party example the patter might look something like this:

I know I am going to go into a situation where I am going to be surrounded by foods I am going to crave…there is a very specific reason why my body is going to crave these things…but right now those underlying root causes don't matter…those are things I can deal with in the future…I know that by doing so work right now I am going to insure that I am going to make better choices…my system knows exactly the types foods I need for the short or long term…not in terms of using food to cover up some immediate need…but instead my body knows exactly what it needs to be strong and healthy so it can grow and thrive…I give this part of my body permission to tune into the part of me that knows how to deal with these situations…I give the part of my body that knows exactly the right choices to come forward…and to be with me at the party…I know that I can and will make good choices at this party…any part of me that wants to eat my cravings I tune into right know…I thank that part of me that wants to eat my craving foods because it is trying to take care of me…I am not thanking it for the choices that it is trying to make…but instead I am thanking it for wanting to take care of me…even if eating these cravings doesn't serve me…in part of me that wants to eat healthy food will be present with me in a powerful way the rest of the day…even if there is no food that it good for me to eat…I can survive and make good…healthy…eating choices.

Step three is to tune back in the how you image you are going to feel at the party. At this point you should feel that you are more confident that you are going to make good eating choices. If you are not feeling confident then do a little more tapping.

There are few things to keep in mind. First, pre-emptive tapping is useful for any situation that we are stepping into that we know is going to be hard. This is not just for cravings. We can tap ahead of time for situations that we know are going to be hard, emotional, or unknown. Just tap for the issues and emotions as if they are happening now while you are imaging what is going to happen.

Second, this is not going to insure that you are going to be craving free, but our goal is not to be craving free. Our goal is to make healthy eating choices. Even we have craving we are able to make good eating choices, but it becomes much harder when the craving is a 7 on a scale of 10 verses when it is a 3. By doing this tapping we are going to knock out at least part of the craving ahead of time (if not all of it). By doing this you are going to reduce the craving to the point that it will be easier for you to make healthy choices.

In part 6 of this series we will look at our relationship to food.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

“But I Don’t Know How to!”

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[Note: This article is by AnaMaria Herrera. AnaMaria Herrera, EFT Practitioner and Trainer, teaches EFT fans and practitioners how to get great results that last with Emotional Freedom Techniques. Through her workshops, coaching programs, and products, AnaMaria shows her participants and clients how to use EFT to resolve their chronic conditions and reach their goals.]


photo by Thomas Roche

There is a lot of things I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner. I don't know where I'll be in 20 years time. And I don't know how to change a flat tire on my bike (I wish I did!)

But I do know one thing for sure. That when we focus on an area of our life this is yucky we gain power.

We are taking a stand for greatness and change in our own lives. Especially when using the word ‘DECIDE.' Say one of these aloud:

“I've decided to…
… work on my self -confidence
… focus on my finances so I can have more abundance
… start that online business or go back to school
… have my business/job take a back seat so I can tend to my love life
… lose the weight and have a healthy relationship with food”

Feel the power and energy in those words?

Even if you don't know HOW you are going to accomplish the goal, the first step is always deciding!

When you decide, you're setting energy, attention, and focus to that area of your life. Talk about power! Can I share a personal story here?

Some years ago I had a physical condition that conventional or alternative medicine couldn't heal.

I remember thinking, “I've tried EVERYTHING!”

Being in the health care field I thought I saw every modality there was.

But somehow I decided (even though I didn't know the solution at the time) to reach out and try one more time. The act of deciding brought me to a lovely practitioner. What did she teach me?

Emotional Freedom Techniques. And the rest, they say, is history.

But I had to first DECIDE!

YOUR SUCCESS ASSIGNMENT
Choose one (1) area that you are going to focus on. Maybe it's in the area of health, finances, or a creative pursuit. Which one feels/looks the most messy or nagging you?

Now let's tap together:

Even though…
I don't know how I'm going to accomplish _____________________
I've deciding to be open to it
Even though…
I'm afraid to focus in this area because of the
sadness/pain/disappointment I feel, and I've tried before, I'm
deciding to give myself another chance
Even though…
I don't know where to begin to have/be/do ______________,I'm
intending to draw the resources and support I need to assist me

reminder phrases:
– I don't know how
– I'm deciding to be open
– I'm afraid still
– what if I fail?- I've decided to move forward, even if I don't know how yet
– I need help!
– what if I attract the resources and help I need?
– I'm deciding I deserve this

Deciding can be scary.

Lucky for us, we have our secret weapon, EFT, to calm our fears so we are in a confident state to have, be and do what we really want.

Dealing With Mindless Eating (4 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Mo Riza

One of the most difficult parts of releasing weight is making changes to how we eat. There are two aspects to changing the way we eat: mealtime eating and between meal eating.

When it comes to meal planning: I am not a nutritionist and would encourage you to find the right meal plan that makes the most sense for your goals, body type, age,a nd general health.

The mindless eating we do between meals is a different matter. When I am speaking “mindless eating” I am talking not only about cravings but also comfort eating and the eating we do that we are not thinking about at all (such as eating while watching tv). The meal plan you craft for yourself is a very mindful way of eating; therefore, all of the other eating you do is mindless.

There are already a number of resources on the site that show the many aspects of mindless eating. Many of these resources talk about a specific type of craving (one even uses smoking as an example), but each of these approaches and examples can be used for all types of mindless eating.

How To Kill Craving
I have decided (once again) that I need to cut caffeine out of my diet. In the past I have given it up cold turkey but have ended up with withdrawal headaches. Is there a way that I can use EFT to help me kick the caffeine habit in a pain-free way?

Kill your Cravings (part 2)
Right now I’m having trouble with cravings. There are times I crave Diet Dr. Pepper, but I don’t like the taste. I almost feel like a person possessed. I must consume it even though I don’t enjoy it. How do I use EFT to kill this type of craving?

Bridging From Physical Feelings To The Emotion and Memories That Are Underneath (Pod #17)
In the podcast I share part of a client session around the issue of quitting smoking. Even if you are not a smoker you are going to find this very helpful and informative. This session provides a number of very clear examples of how we can bridge from a physiological feel (in this case the desire to smoke a cigarette) to thoughts and memories from the past.

Zapping Cravings w/ Pat Carrington (Pod #21)
One of the most common uses of tapping is weight release and craving control. In this interview Pat talks about the basic steps we need to take to be success in weight release. After giving this overview Pat talks emotional eating and then talks in very specific term about the mindless eating we do and how we can use tapping to deal with the craving eating and the habitual eat (e.g. eating every time we watch tv).

In part 5 of this series we will look at what we can do before we get into situation of temptation.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.