Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

“But I Don’t Know How to!”

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[Note: This article is by AnaMaria Herrera. AnaMaria Herrera, EFT Practitioner and Trainer, teaches EFT fans and practitioners how to get great results that last with Emotional Freedom Techniques. Through her workshops, coaching programs, and products, AnaMaria shows her participants and clients how to use EFT to resolve their chronic conditions and reach their goals.]


photo by Thomas Roche

There is a lot of things I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner. I don't know where I'll be in 20 years time. And I don't know how to change a flat tire on my bike (I wish I did!)

But I do know one thing for sure. That when we focus on an area of our life this is yucky we gain power.

We are taking a stand for greatness and change in our own lives. Especially when using the word ‘DECIDE.' Say one of these aloud:

“I've decided to…
… work on my self -confidence
… focus on my finances so I can have more abundance
… start that online business or go back to school
… have my business/job take a back seat so I can tend to my love life
… lose the weight and have a healthy relationship with food”

Feel the power and energy in those words?

Even if you don't know HOW you are going to accomplish the goal, the first step is always deciding!

When you decide, you're setting energy, attention, and focus to that area of your life. Talk about power! Can I share a personal story here?

Some years ago I had a physical condition that conventional or alternative medicine couldn't heal.

I remember thinking, “I've tried EVERYTHING!”

Being in the health care field I thought I saw every modality there was.

But somehow I decided (even though I didn't know the solution at the time) to reach out and try one more time. The act of deciding brought me to a lovely practitioner. What did she teach me?

Emotional Freedom Techniques. And the rest, they say, is history.

But I had to first DECIDE!

YOUR SUCCESS ASSIGNMENT
Choose one (1) area that you are going to focus on. Maybe it's in the area of health, finances, or a creative pursuit. Which one feels/looks the most messy or nagging you?

Now let's tap together:

Even though…
I don't know how I'm going to accomplish _____________________
I've deciding to be open to it
Even though…
I'm afraid to focus in this area because of the
sadness/pain/disappointment I feel, and I've tried before, I'm
deciding to give myself another chance
Even though…
I don't know where to begin to have/be/do ______________,I'm
intending to draw the resources and support I need to assist me

reminder phrases:
– I don't know how
– I'm deciding to be open
– I'm afraid still
– what if I fail?- I've decided to move forward, even if I don't know how yet
– I need help!
– what if I attract the resources and help I need?
– I'm deciding I deserve this

Deciding can be scary.

Lucky for us, we have our secret weapon, EFT, to calm our fears so we are in a confident state to have, be and do what we really want.

Dealing With Mindless Eating (4 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Mo Riza

One of the most difficult parts of releasing weight is making changes to how we eat. There are two aspects to changing the way we eat: mealtime eating and between meal eating.

When it comes to meal planning: I am not a nutritionist and would encourage you to find the right meal plan that makes the most sense for your goals, body type, age,a nd general health.

The mindless eating we do between meals is a different matter. When I am speaking “mindless eating” I am talking not only about cravings but also comfort eating and the eating we do that we are not thinking about at all (such as eating while watching tv). The meal plan you craft for yourself is a very mindful way of eating; therefore, all of the other eating you do is mindless.

There are already a number of resources on the site that show the many aspects of mindless eating. Many of these resources talk about a specific type of craving (one even uses smoking as an example), but each of these approaches and examples can be used for all types of mindless eating.

How To Kill Craving
I have decided (once again) that I need to cut caffeine out of my diet. In the past I have given it up cold turkey but have ended up with withdrawal headaches. Is there a way that I can use EFT to help me kick the caffeine habit in a pain-free way?

Kill your Cravings (part 2)
Right now I’m having trouble with cravings. There are times I crave Diet Dr. Pepper, but I don’t like the taste. I almost feel like a person possessed. I must consume it even though I don’t enjoy it. How do I use EFT to kill this type of craving?

Bridging From Physical Feelings To The Emotion and Memories That Are Underneath (Pod #17)
In the podcast I share part of a client session around the issue of quitting smoking. Even if you are not a smoker you are going to find this very helpful and informative. This session provides a number of very clear examples of how we can bridge from a physiological feel (in this case the desire to smoke a cigarette) to thoughts and memories from the past.

Zapping Cravings w/ Pat Carrington (Pod #21)
One of the most common uses of tapping is weight release and craving control. In this interview Pat talks about the basic steps we need to take to be success in weight release. After giving this overview Pat talks emotional eating and then talks in very specific term about the mindless eating we do and how we can use tapping to deal with the craving eating and the habitual eat (e.g. eating every time we watch tv).

In part 5 of this series we will look at what we can do before we get into situation of temptation.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

My Goal Isn’t Believable (2 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 2 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Hans Gerwitz

One of the most difficult things about weight release is believing that we can achieve our goals. Often we are often carry the baggage of failed past attempts at weight release, a family history of carrying too much weight, and the fact that we have held the weight for so long it seem that is stuck and can't possibly be released.

In my own life there are few emotions that I enjoy less than the feeling of failure. Often when we fail we have to face the fact that we are incapable of doing something, we feel we have wasted time and effort, and that others are going to see us as less because of our failing.

Because of these fears it is very easy to see why it is so hard for us act. There is a part of us that sees the consequences of us failing. The way it protects us from feeling all of these emotions associated with failure is it creates situation where we self sabotage ourselves. In the short term it is keeping us safe from feeling bad about failing, but in the long term it is preventing us form achieving our goals.

This is not only true for weight release, but can also be true for any goal that we are trying to achieve. For this reason I think one of the most important steps we can take when we are tapping for a change in behavior or tapping to help us achieve a future goal is to tap for clearing the fear of failure.

Here are some tapping patters for some of the most common reasons and emotions associated with failure.

Fear Of Failing

I don't want to fail…failing is no fun…when I fail at any task…it points out my short coming to myself…and to others…when I try something and fail…it is a giant waste of time…I could be using this time at something I am good at…but I choose to know that failure is not inevitable…it is possible that I might not fail this time…I don't always fail…I also know that there have been times in which I have failed that have been good for me…I have learned valuable lessons in may of my failings…if I only try the things that I know are going to work out…then I am going to try nothing new…I am never going to grow…there are times in my life where I have tried new things…and they didn't work out the way I would have liked…but they did work out in a way that was beneficial for me…there are also many lessons that I can learn in failing…this does not mean I need to seek failure out…but I can takes this moments of failure and use them as a way to grow and develop…I also might surprise myself by what I am able to achieve…there are times in which I have underestimated myself…and what I can achieve…I give myself permission to try…I give myself permission to know it might not work out…but it is still worth trying…because if I succeed there is a chance for growth…and if I fail there is a chance for learning…both are good for me in the long run.

I Have Failed Before At Weight Release

I have tried to release weight in the past and have failed…I failed before and I am going to fail again…there is no reason to try…because it is going to be a giant waste of time…I might as well just be resigned to the fact this is the way it is…but I choose to know there are times in the past in which I did not succeed the first time I tried…there are times where I learned many lessons before I got it right…there were also times where I made the same mistake over and over again before I got it right…but I did get it right…there are many times I have tried in the past to release this weight that did not work…and there are lots of reasons for this…but this is a new time…and a new way…if I try and release this weight and fail I am still in the same spot…but if I try and release weight and succeed that is progress I want…so by trying I am not going to make it worse…but I do have a chance to make it better….I choose to learn the lessons from all the attempts in the past that did not work…and use this knowledge to move forward in a new way…I know that the frustration of not being successful and choose to take the frustration of failure in the past…and transform that energy into a motivating energy to make better choices…I it no longer beating me up for the past…but now becomes my greatest cheer leader and encourager…moving me forward in a way that will help to breed success

Everyone In My Family Is Over Weight So I Will Be As Well

Everyone in my family is over weight…it is just how we are…you can't fight your gene pool…some people are just over weight because that is how there body is made…I have seen many family members try and release weight in the past and failed…therefore there is no hope for me…but I choose to know there is more to weight than genetics…there are whole groups of people in my family who have choose the buy into the same world view…and are creating a situation which makes it ease for all of them to continue to hold the extra weight…this does not have to be my way…there are other parts of my life in which I have choose an different path than the rest of the family…we are not all exactly alike…by choose to release weight I am not dismissing or abandoning my family…I am still part of the family…I am just choosing my own way…maybe my choices will model for the rest of the family that this sort of transformation is possible…just because it has been this way for my family doesn't mean it has to be this way for me…I know weight is more than just genetics

My Goal Is Too Big

There is no way I am going to achieve my goal…because it is just too big…it would be one thing if I was trying to release much less weight…but I am so far behind there is no way I am going to catch up…it is too late because the goal is so big…but I choose to know that weight release it not for the short term…to create a change for my entire lifetime…I am not only effecting today…but am effecting my whole life…this is process that is going to happen little by little…as much as I would like to release all this weight all at once…it is much healthy for me to release it a little at a time…it is safer for my body to release weight in a natural way…because I can't release it all at once I don't need to worry about releasing it all…I have satisfied in the fact that my goal in the short term can be much smaller…as I achieve each of these smaller short term goals…I will be working to my long term goal…by working to my long term goal in small ways…it becomes much more achievable…therefore my long term goal is not too big…because it is something that will take time…but will impact the rest of my life.

In part 3 of this series I interview Catherine Poole about the association of specific emotions and our problem areas.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Making It Safe To Heal With EFT/Giving Ourselves Permission To Heal (part 1 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Dan Dickinson

Our body/system does not have an agenda. There is nothing that our body/system does unless it believes it is the best thing for us. There are times in which the body/system is making a choice from misinformation, but it is only providing the information that it thinks is going to keep us safe.

For example, lets look at a fear of public speaking. When we have a fear of public speaking it is because the system thinks there is great danger in public speaking. If we are in a situation where job promotion is based on our ability to speak in public this does not look like the system is protecting us. Instead the fear is hurting us.

In this case the system might fear, “If we speak in public everyone is going to see how stupid we really are. Every time we open our mouth in public we do something stupid. They are all going to laugh.”

Because the system is holding this belief it believes keeping us from speaking it is keeping us safe. The problem is in this case (like most limiting beliefs we have) it is keeping us safe from something that is not a real danger.

Because the system believes there is a danger in speaking is public there is going to be resistance to letting go of that fear of public system. The system sees that if we let go of the fear of public speaking (which is a defense mechanism) we are then going to end up in unsafe places. The system believes it is unsafe to heal this belief because we will then put ourselves in an unsafe situation (speaking in public in this case).

It becomes much easier to heal this fear of public speaking when we are able to recognize (on a system/subconscious level) that it is safe to heal. This is an easy task that can be achieved easily (as we will see) by tapping.

When the body is carrying extra weight the system almost always believes that there is a reason for holding the weight. On the level of looking at physical symptoms as metaphor, extra weight is a prefect metaphor for not feeling safe in the world. The extra weight is a shield or a mechanism to keep others away. (I have heard this from countless clients when we do deep parts work.)

Our natural state is to be fit and healthy, therefore the system has to be working overtime to be holding the weight. In this case it is clear the system sees the weight as being needed and therefore believes that it is unsafe to release the weight.

The first step in any weight release program is let the system it is safe to heal. Here is how I would tap to start this process:

My body is holding extra weight…it is doing this because if feels I need the weight…it also feel that I will be unsafe…or the world will be unsafe…if I release the weight…my system thinks I am going to be unsafe…the body is working really hard to keep this weight…because it wants me to be safe…I recognize how hard the system has to work to keep this weight…I am happy my body is willing to work so hard…but I know the tact it is choosing isn't the best for me in the short or long term…by recognizing how hard the body is working to keep me safe…I don't need to keep doing the same thing…right now I am speaking to the part of me that is keeping the weight…I let it know and my whole system know that is it safe for me to heal…I am worthy of this healing…the world can be a safe place for me…I can thrive in the world in a safe way…and release this weight…the shield of weight can be changed in to a more effective way of protecting myself…the weight isn't keeping me safe…I know the body is trying to shield me…but extra weight is not the best way to keep me safe…it is safe for me to heal and release this weight…because in this process I am going to find the true issues that need healing…they extra weight is a symptom…it is part of my system calling out to the need for deeper healing…because I am aware of this face…the weight has done its job by letting me know there is deeper healing needed…by walking down this path I am going to move forward in many areas of my life…which is what I want…and am worthy of healing the weight…it is safe for me to move forward…part of the reason it is safe is because I am not doing to do it all at once…this will be bit by bit…I know my system wants what is best for me…I want the system to know I appreciate all the work it is doing for me…and I want the system to be more effective in its work…one of the ways this is going to happen is by letting this transformation to happen…in a safe and healthy way…it is safe for me to heal the issues of this extra weight

In part 2 of this series we will look at when we don't believe our goal is achievable.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Asking For Proof

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photo by euthman

In my work with clients I do a great deal of parts work. Parts work is nothing more than a very easy way of isolating a part of our system to find information about the issue we are working on.

One of the very easy ways of doing parts work is to have a little conversation with a part of the body. Often time this conversation is with a physical sensation. It could be a physical pain (like an aching muscle) or the physical feeling (like tightness in the stomach accompanying nervousness). Once we have tuned into this part of the body we are working on we can ask it question. To do this we simply pretend that we are able to have a conversation with part of the body.

Once I am “talking” to this part of my body/system one of the first questions I often ask is, “Why do you exist?” or “What are you worried about?” or “What are you trying to keep me safe from?” These questions can give us the underlying belief that is keeping the issues in the system. We can get answers like, “You are going to get hurt.” “People will laugh if you fail.” “You are not good enough.” “It is too hard.”

You will notice that in almost every case these types of answers are about keeping us safe. The problem is many times it is trying to keep us safe from things that are not really dangerous. This is an example of the system trying to take care of us by protection us from things that we don't need protection from. Even though these worries are not founded, once we have uncovered them it becomes very ease for us to use this information to do Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping work.

Once we have uncovered the reason for the feeling there is a very useful question we can ask. Ask the part “What proof do you have that this is the case?” When we ask this question one of two things are going to happen. We could get a very clear answer of the proof the system has to hold this belief or we could see that the belief has no proof on why this is true. Both of these are very helpful outcomes.

When the answer to the question about proof comes back with examples it comes in two forms: examples from our life and examples from others experience. When we are reminded of similar situations in the past all we need to do is do some tapping on the past experience(s). As we clean up the past experience we will be cleaning up the issue that is at hand. When we are reminded of other experiences we can tap on how there situation is different than our own. As we clean up the beliefs of others experiences we are again cleaning up our own issues.

[Note: It is possible that when we ask this question we are going to get proof from our own life as well as proof from others experience. When this happens take each form of proof one at a time.]

There are times when we ask this question where the emotion/belief is not going to be able to provide any proof. This is still good news, but we need to take a little different approach. Anytime we have a part of ourselves that is hesitate or worried it is because there is a fear that we are going to get hurt, but in this case we are holding it without proof that this is the outcome we are going get. When this happens we need to recognize the fear is trying to keep us safe, let it know that we are safe, and let it know it can come back if there is a real danger. The tapping for this could look sound like this:

I thank this worry for being…the only reason it exists is because it is trying to keep me safe…it believes that there is possible danger out there for me…I am glad my system is trying to keep me safe by looking out for possible worries…but sometimes the system worries about dangers that aren't really there…or dangers that aren't as big as the system believes…that is what is happening right now…this emotion of fear and worry is just trying to keep me safe…it is just working too hard…I am glad that it is work so hard for me…but I give it permission to relax…it has done it job of warning me of a possible trouble…because I am aware of it I can deal with it if it comes up…so the system doesn't have to warn me of it any more…the worry has done its job…I am now safe…I can move forward knowing what to look out for…if for some reason this worry feels like it need to come back to warn me again…I welcome this…because I want to know about what possible issues are at hand…but for now I have my eyes open and am safe…I am thankful that my system is worried about my safety…I continue to empower my system to look out for me…know that just like right now I am going to hear the warning of they system to make the best choices for me.

Asking the question “What proof do you have to feel this way or to belief this?” isn't just limited to doing parts work. This is a question that can be incorporated into many tapping situations. Whenever we are facing a task or activity that we dread we can ask ourselves two question. First, ask “What is the penalty/consequence for me doing this?” You might come up with one or many penalties. For each penalty ask the questions, “What is the proof I have that this penalty/consequence is going to happing?” Based on the answers to these questions we follow the same steps as above to clear the resistance to change and to clear the issue.