Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

The 3 Stages Of Lasting Transformation

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I was talking to one of my long term clients “Jesse” this week. She said, “Intellectually I get this, but I still can’t seem to make the change.”

What Jesse is experiencing is very common. The reason that most of us find our way to tapping is because understanding something intellectually often isn’t enough for us to change our behavior.

In thinking about the process that most of my clients have gone through (and what I have experienced in my personal work) I have realized there are 3 basic steps to making a lasting change in our lives.

Intellectual/Cognitive Understanding

This happens all the time. This is when we know exactly what change we want to make and why we haven’t been making the right choices in the past. For example we know intellectually that:

  • It doesn’t need to be perfect. It only needs to be good enough.
  • It doesn’t matter what my parents think about me looking for a new job.
  • If I commit to just 30 minutes of exercise three times a week I’ll see an improvement in my fitness.
  • Worrying continually about things I cannot change helps nobody.

Emotional Understanding

Just because we understand something intellectually doesn’t mean that we will make new choices. Every single one of my clients who is a perfectionist knows they are a perfectionist, knows that it doesn’t serve them to be a perfectionist, and wants to change this about themselves.

Most of them can feel themselves being too much of a perfectionist even as they are acting on their perfectionistic tendency. They can be saying out loud, “I don’t need to do this perfectly” yet are still unable to stop themselves.

This is because on an emotional level there is a part that still believes it is dangerous to not be perfect.

Until there is an emotional understanding of the intellectual insight lasting change can’t take place.

Habitual Change

This is the type of change that is most often missed and the thing that causes tappers the most frustration about the process.

It goes something like this: We have an emotional belief that we need to have everything just perfect, so every night before we go to bed we spend 45 minutes cleaning the house. We tap for the sense of perfectionism, aiming to get to a place where we know that the house doesn’t have to be perfectly clean every day…and we still spend 45 minutes cleaning before we can get to bed.

What Happened?

What has happened is part of our end of day routine is to clean for 45 minutes. It is no different than the habit of brushing our teeth before bed. It has become part of our muscle memory and so we do it even though the emotional motivation is gone.

This doesn’t just apply to our action. We also create habitual emotions and self-talk. For example, I might have the habit of asking “What did I do wrong?” every time something goes wrong even if I had nothing to do with it. I can tap to recognize that it is not always my fault, but questioning my responsibility can be a habit.

Conclusion

To make long term lasting change we need to change three things: our understanding, our emotional response, and our habitual response.

If you are looking for help with doing this the Ruach Center has tools, tapping scripts, and tapping audios to help with you with all three steps. If you don’t know how to do one of these steps for something you are trying to change in your life you should check it out.

What Do You Mean I Don’t Want To Get Rid Of The Emotion?

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Yesterday morning I posted this on the Tapping Q & A facebook page:

Post by Tapping Q & A.

The first comment I received in response to the post was:

Isn’t it really anger elimination when you tap? It does far more than manage, don’t you agree?

That is a great question. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and so that would lead us to believe we are trying to be free of our emotions. But in fact, that is not our goal.

Here is my response:

No, it is not anger elimination because anger is helpful emotion. Anger shows up when we feel like we are being attacked. The guys I worked with in jail sometimes need the energy of anger to stay alive when they are in physical danger.

The problem is not anger. The problem is when the anger is disproportionately strong or shows up at a time when anger isn’t the appropriate response.

It is OK to be angry when someone cuts us off while driving. The anger helps us to focus and avoid an accident. If we then pull over and cry for 45 minutes or follow the person who cut us off home so we can confront them, then the anger is too much.

No emotion is bad or should be eliminated. We want the emotions to show up at the right time and in the right proportion.

When we tap the goal is never the elimination of emotions. It is to help the emotions to show-up in proportionate and informed ways.

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You Don’t Need One Minute Miracles, You Just Need To Do A Little Every Day (And Here Is One Way To Start)

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photo by Matthew

I have written before on how I think the way we talk about one minute miracles is bad for the EFT community. One minute miracles aren’t bad, but I think they create a very unrealistic approach.

Just because we don’t have one minute miracles with all of our tapping doesn’t mean that it we need to do a huge amount in order to see change. Often it takes a little work every day.

One of the neatest examples of this that I have seen recently was in a link that Jen Dziura shared about a woman who taught herself to dance in just one year.

Here is the video proof:

It is amazing what doing a little work each day will do!

What To Do With Each Day?

Just because you decide to tap every day doesn’t mean that you know what to do or say when tapping. If you don’t know what you want to tap on try this:

I know that I need to do a little tapping each day…But right now I don’t know what to tap for…And I don’t know what words to say when I am tapping…The most important thing is the fact that I am taking the time right now to tap…By doing this I am getting the juices flowing and I am setting myself up to make progress…Even if nothing in particular comes to mind…The fact I am taking these few moments to tap will bring me peace…Bring me calm…Making it easier for me to make better choices for today.

If you tap in this way one of two things will happen. Either an issue that you need to tap on daily will come to mind OR you will still have blank mind but will feel great and ready to take on your day in a positive, calm way.

Either way it is a win!

The First Question I Ask When I Can’t Get To The Root Of My Self-Sabotage

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photo by Nina Matthews

Sometimes we can be in two minds when it comes to change.

There is one part of us that wants the change because it knows our life will be better because of it and then there is another part that wants things to stay the same.

My move to Brooklyn is a perfect example. The move has been an exciting adventure that I have been wanting to make for a really long time AND Baltimore was my home for ten years and I left behind many people I love.

When we are of two minds about a goal it can slow us down or even stop us from taking action toward our goals.

(If I am really honest I know that I made the move to New York a year later than I should have because I consistently failed to take the action I needed take to make the move.)

There are times when it is obvious why we are in two minds. We feel almost like we have a cartoon devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, each pulling us in a different direction.

And then there are times when this pull isn’t as obvious. We aren’t taking action towards achieving our goal but we don’t exactly know why.

When my clients can see the action they need to take but simply aren’t taking it I like to ask them the question: “What would you have to give up to achieve this goal?”

The answers given to this question are fascinating. They range from the pragmatic, “I will have to give up some of my free time”, to the philosophical, “I will give up my image as a hard worker because my colleagues will see me as lazy if I start taking more time to rest and take care of myself.”

The next time you are stuck and can’t figure out why you aren’t taking the action you need just ask yourself the question, “What would I have to give up in order to do this successfully?”

Your answers will provide you with some great and possibly surprising information to tap on!

[Are you tired of feeling like you have no power over your own choices and that you keep sabotaging yourself as you try to move toward your goals? Over at the Ruach Center I have 49 reasons just like having to give up something to achieve your goal. There are tools to help you find the root cause of your self-sabotage and tools to knock those root causes out so that you can start taking the action you need.]

What Happens When You Are Looking For An Answer That Isn’t There?

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photo by Alberto G.

One of my favorite parts of working with clients is watching them work through the process of learning that they can have better, that it can happen sooner rather than later, and that they can make conscious choices every day to move towards that better life.

Over time my clients go from needing help from me to doing lots of work on their own between sessions.

As this happens they gain skill at finding the root causes of the symptoms they are experiencing in their daily lives.

Finding root causes to our issues is an important skill to develop. When we are able to knock out the root causes not only are we dealing with the symptom that we are experiencing right now, but we are also clearing the issue so that it doesn’t come back again.

But there are times when looking for the root cause will actually hold up the healing process and lead to self-sabotage. What happens is that we get so focused on finding the root cause we can’t see the wood for the trees!

Sometimes there just isn’t a root cause or we don’t have the right tool to find it. If we continue to focus only on looking for the root cause we will become frustrated by our lack of progress and might even feel worse emotionally as a result.

When this happens I like to tap on the idea that I don’t need to find the root cause in order to heal. The tapping goes something like this:

There is a part of me that knows there is often a root cause to my issues…And I know that if I am able to find the root cause it will help me to heal faster…There is a part of me that really wants to find that root cause…And because I want to find the root cause so badly…I might be pressing too hard…But when I press too hard I sometimes miss what I am looking for…I give myself permission to know that it is possible to heal this without knowing the root cause…I can find relief even if I never know why this is the way it is…I can be free of this just by tuning into the symptoms that are there…I am also willing to accept that sometimes there isn’t just one reason why…Sometimes there are issues that have lots of small aspects that have added up to create the whole…And there is no way that I will ever know…And that is OK…I don’t have to know to heal…I can heal without knowing…As nice as it would be to know the root cause…Relief is more important…And I can have lasting relief without ever knowing the root cause.

After tapping like this we will have one of two results.

1) We will feel relaxed about not knowing the root cause. This will improve our mood and help the process. We will feel better when we can let go of the worry about doing it right or getting it solved right now.

2) We will find the information we are looking for. It is an odd thing, but there have been countless times when I have been tapping where I will say something like, “I am OK not knowing the answer right now,” and in the very next moment the information that I am looking for comes right to mind.

Either way it is a win. You will either feel better and at peace or you will have the information you need.

The next time you can’t find the root cause you can relax. Tap for the idea that you don’t need to identify the root cause and you will open yourself up to new avenues for healing.

If you would like to expand the number of creative ways you know to uncover root causes please check out the Ruach Center. Some of the best tools I know can be found there.

There Is So Much, I Don’t Know Where To Begin When Using EFT

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I have a lot of issues that I want to use Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping on, but I don’t know where to begin. Should I deal with the memories chronologically or should I do them in chunks of related issues?


photo by Brian Barnett

This is a question that I receive often. Once someone has been introduced to the power of EFT and understands how it can be used to address many physical and emotional issues, they start to look for all of the areas in their life to apply this powerful technique.

The problem comes when, as we do this self-assessment, we realize that there are many more issues beneath the surface than we initially thought.

At first this can feel overwhelming because there is so much to do. Once we get past the feeling of overwhelm (if you are having trouble with overwhelm see Overwhelmed By How Much Healing I Need – link) then the next task is to figure out where to begin.

There is no right or wrong place to start. With every issue we clean up we make progress, which will make it easier and easier for us to live with joy and fulfillment. What’s important is to recognize that not all issues have the same effect on our daily lives.

For example, let’s pretend I am phobic about monkeys. When I am around monkeys I lose my mind.

Could I use EFT to deal with this fear? Absolutely.

BUT, is this the most pressing issue in my life right now? If I lived in Costa Rica it might be, but since I don’t, it’s not the best use of my EFT time.

In my opinion the best place to start is with the issues and limiting beliefs that are affecting your life right now and having an impact on where you would like your life to go next. Clearing the emotional charges around the people and situations that you deal with regularly will bring immediate benefits and ensures that you invest your tapping time well.

Approaching What Is Going On Right Now With EFT & Tapping

I recommend that you make a few lists, starting with the people in your life you spend the most time with, or think about most. As well as those we see in person, we can expend a lot of energy in both positive and negative ways on the people we don’t see every day, like our family.

Take time to think about each person and your relationship with them. Pay particular attention to the emotions that come up as you think of them.

As you think of someone who elicits an emotion (or emotions), write down their name and what you are feeling. I would do this for the five to ten people you spend the most time with, or spend the most time thinking about.

Next go through the same process with the places where you spend most of your time and energy. These could be work, school, church, at your children’s activities, places where you shop often, and your neighborhood.

Again, give thought and attention to each of these places, writing down any emotions that arise on your list. Notice the emotions that you feel about the place itself as well as the emotions you feel when you are interacting with the community there.

Once you have finished creating these two lists you will have a wealth of areas on which to focus your tapping time.

Approaching The Future With EFT & Tapping

One of the main reasons that we don’t have the life we want is because of the limiting beliefs we hold about the world and ourselves. Figuring out what we want – because many of us don’t know what we truly want – and then finding and clearing our limiting beliefs is a more complex topic than can be dealt with in one short article.

There are many approaches to doing this. One approach is laid out in this four part series:

Getting The Most Out Of Your Tapping/EFT Time

When it comes to using EFT on a whole host of issues it is best to start in the place that will produce the greatest change in your life. If you can’t name one pressing issue, then find your focus by looking at where your life is right now, identifying the emotional struggles you face daily, and how you want your life to be different in the future. In this way you will see the greatest change for the time you invest in your healing.

You Don’t Have To Tap Away Your Fear With EFT In Order To Take Action

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photo by Svante Adermark

My life is a little crazy right now. From the outside it looks like I am being really brave in the midst of all the craziness.

I am in the process of moving from Baltimore to Brooklyn, NY. I am uprooting my life to move to the fourth largest metropolitan area in the world, where housing rentals are snapped up in a matter of hours, not days. At the moment I know I am certainly moving but I have no clue where I am moving to.

At the same time I am working on some new things that I will be offering on the website which are the most personal things I have ever shared. As those of you who are part of MyEFTYear.com know, one of my goals for this year was to work on my issues around dating and romantic relationships.

About six weeks ago I came up with a list of 32 fears that I have around relationships. Not only have I been tapping for these issues, I have been videoing myself tapping for each issue. Sometime later this summer I plan to make those videos available for you to tap along to too.

Oh boy are those videos raw and messy. Because of their honesty they are more than a bit embarrassing! And there is the little issue of how emotional I have become in a few of them.

“You really are in the brave space right now!!”
That is what one of my friends wrote while we were chatting online: “You really are in the brave space right now!!”

And the truth is, I’m not really in a brave space right now.

Instead I am having moments of bravery and I am taking full advantage of those moments and acting.

For example, one of the reasons the move to NY is happening right now is because I had to let the property managers of my building know this week if I was going to renew my lease. Had I taken no action, then my lease would have renewed automatically.

To let them know I was leaving I had to notify them in an official letter via certified mail.

I wrote the letter, put the letter in an envelope, and stuck the postage on the outside.

AND then I had a hard time breathing. My head was filled with: “What if I can’t find a place to live? What if I can’t really afford the move? Am I going to wreck the relationships I have with my friends here in Baltimore by leaving? Oh crap…moving is hard!”

So I started to tap. I calmed myself down. I walked to the postal box and dropped the letter in.

Fifteen minutes later I was gripped with panic again.

BUT that was OK because the process of moving had started.

The Fear Doesn’t Have To Be Completely Gone To Act
About eight times a day I feel some (or a lot) of anxiety about the move. But just because the worry is still there doesn’t mean that I have to stop making progress. With each passing day I’m progressing and crossing more items off my moving todo list.

I haven’t had to be brave every moment. I haven’t had to eliminate the fears of everything going wrong.

I have only had to keep the fear at bay long enough to take an action that moves me closer to my goal. Once an action is taken it sets off a chain reaction of events to which I respond.

I now have to move out of my place in Baltimore, which is pushing me forward to take more action.

You Don’t Have To Tap It All The Way To A Zero
A lot of tappers make the mistake of thinking that they have to tap an issue completely away. They think that if they haven’t erased the issue with tapping then it isn’t done and they can’t act until it is.

We only need to tap our way to being able to take the next step towards our goal. We might have to start tapping the moment we have completed that step, but what is more important is the fact that we have acted and are closer to our goal.

When tapping our goal isn’t to be anxiety free (though that would be great). Our goal is to make it possible for us to take the action we need to take to progress.

Sometimes those actions might be made in a state of fear, but they are being taken.

You don’t need to tap your way to total relief.

You just need to tap to action.

(And if you need it you can start tapping again.)

Is My Self-Sabotaging Critical Voice Always Going To Be With Me?

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photo by Steve Corey

This week I was working with my client “Molly”. Over the last few weeks we had been tapping for a number of public speaking sales situations. She said:

“Last week was really great. I felt so much more comfortable in my own skin. I was so much more present to my audience and so much less inside of my own head. But I have a question, will that little voice in my head always be there? It feels like it is less powerful now, but it just won’t go away.”

This is a great question. In the article “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” I showed you how to begin to get a handle on your critical voice. But you will notice I don’t talk about making it go away.

There are two things to keep in mind with the critical voice.

It Is There To Be Helpful
I know it can be hard to believe that the critical voice inside your head that is always beating you up is being helpful, but it really is trying to keep you safe. It’s operating from the assumption that if it points out all the things you are doing wrong, you will then correct your actions and make better choices.

You know as well as I do that it doesn’t work like that. That nagging voice doesn’t usually produce any positive change, it simply brings us down and saps our motivation.

When we do something like this 8 step process we can start to transform our critical voice into something useful.

At first blush it would seem that we just want to silence that tireless, nagging voice, but it can be very useful in pointing out possible obstacles and opportunities.

We Will Keep Trying Harder Things
Even when we have tamed our critical voice and have it under control, it will still be useful to us as we move ahead and aim higher. When we stretch ourselves and attempt new and different things that may be a little scary, our critical voice will show up to try to keep us safe.

The moment my internal voice goes mute is the moment that I have stopped growing and progressing.

Making Sure It Is Helpful
So, to answer Molly’s question directly: No, your critical voice will not go away AND that isn’t a bad thing.

Our aim is to move away from an internal battle and to welcome our internal voice as a watchful ally. In doing this we will feel better about ourselves because we aren’t being beaten up for the inside out AND we will be able to move forward in a helpful way.

I would encourage you to re-visit “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” and start the transformation right now.

Is The Way You Are Talking About Your Issues Stopping Your Progress?

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photo by Marlon Malabanan

The words we use to describe our world are very important because they impact the way we understand what we are experiencing. The words we use give our experience meaning.

For example, if I say, “Everyone at work hates me!” that will impact the way I walk into the office because I will have my guard up with every interaction.

If a client says this to me, my follow up question is, “Really, everyone?” Most of the time their response is something like, “No, but Jim, Sally, and Devon really have it out for me.”

You can see that when the work environment is described by having trouble with three people v everyone, we would walk in with a different mindset.

All of this came to mind in a recent client session. “Jeff” was lamenting the fact that he was not tapping as much as he would like. As we continued the conversation it was revealed that the reason he was not tapping was because he was worried that there was some big nasty issue under the surface that he really didn’t want to tackle.

That is a perfectly reasonable and common reason that people don’t tap.

Later in our session, as we were talking about his plans to tap over the next few weeks, he said, “I am going to set 30 minutes aside each morning to tap on the big stuff.”

I stopped him and said, “I think you are setting yourself up for failure. You said that you were having trouble tapping on difficult issues and now you are saying you want to go after the big. How about you go after the important stuff? That might be big, it might be small, but it will have high value. That will make it easier to do the work.”

I will admit that it seems like a subtle change, but I think words are that important. The way we talk about the world is the way we will then interact with the world.

Take a moment to think about the parts of your life you are not happy with or the issue you normally tap on. How do you describe those problems? Do you describe them as impossible, inevitable, or overwhelming?

Make a list of all the adjectives you would use to describe your issues, write them down, and note your emotional response to those words.

This is very telling. If there is little or no hope of success, or if you describe the process of healing as painful or overwhelming, then you will live up to those words.

When you see the process as too hard or too painful you will sabotage yourself and you will avoid the work you need to do.

If you change the way you talk about your problems then you will also change the way you respond to them.

I would love hear the words you came up with when describing your issues in the comments below.

Here is a tapping script that will help you when feel like your problems are too big or hard:

I know there are a lot of things I need to tap for…Some of these things feel really big…And because they feel so big I don’t want to approach them…I am worried they are going to be too much…They will take too much time…And too much effort…It feels like hard work going after them…I am not going to do the hard stuff…I am going to do the important stuff…I am going to work on the issues that are facing me right now…They may be old issues…They may be new issues…But they will be the issues that are impacting me now…And by going after the issues that are affecting me now…I will only need to do as much as is needed to move forward…I don’t have to deal with it all right away…Just the things that are holding me back now.

What Have You Found To Be The Most Successful Approaches To EFT?

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I asked a bunch of my favorite tappers what mistakes beginners and pros make when tapping. Today I have their response to the question “What have you found to be the most successful approaches to EFT”?

Jade Barbee – emotionalengine.com

  • Using specific strategies to tap on the discomfort of change.
  • Addressing past events in detail, one intense aspect at a time (personal peace journal).
  • Addressing limiting beliefs and the consequences of changing them.

Jondi Whitis – eft4results.com

  • Agreeing to meet the person wherever they are and patiently walk beside them.
  • Breathing hope into them as you patiently wade through the specific events that hold these beliefs in place.

Ilana – positive-eft.com

  • Covering as many aspects of the same thing not in the usual way only but covering all senses.

Ann Ross – eftuk.net

  • Deep respect for the client, whatever the problem.
  • A quiet loving energetic space within.
  • Being open to miracles – always – and not expecting or anticipating them.
  • A deep intimacy/acceptance of the client and yourself.

Ange Finn – TapIntoYourself.com

  • I like combining tapping with guided imagery exercises to elicit more right–brained images and information. They can be quite powerful in combination and allow for a lot of creativity for the practitioner.

Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master – ProEFT.com

  • Being flexible, listening to your intuition, having the intention clear about your outcome and remaining open–minded.
  • It also helps to continue to grow and learn. Tapping is an ever-evolving art and will hopefully remain that way. Sometimes people want things to stay the same…and that’s not always a good thing. If we are going to continue being successful, we need to allow ourselves to change, grow and evolve; personally and professionally.

Alina Frank — tapyourpower.net

  • The most successful EFT is EFT that is done thoroughly and tested exceedingly well. I also use my own Holographic EFT which assumes that everything and everyone is an illusion of my creation which I am responsible for. Matrix Reimprinting has also changed my practice and I teach it to my students because I feel strongly that no EFT education is complete without it.

Sherrie Rice Smith – EFTUniverse.com

  • When I tap with clients who are literally loaded with problems, I’ve had the most success, and this can be controversial, too, when I really exaggerate the issues. Many times they will cry, but it is for only perhaps 30 seconds, then the relief floods in. I’m not afraid to say what I intuitively get that they are thinking or have never admitted to another soul on earth! i.e. “I killed that baby” if I’m tapping with a client guilt laden from an abortion 30 years previously. If they feel guilt, it’s usually because they are thinking that exact thought. Most admit to me that it is the thought going through their heads.

Colleen Flanagan – EmoRescue.com

  • Clearing all aspects of fear as core issues for unwanted physical, emotional, financial and mental conditions.

Steve Wells –

  • Continual tapping whilst accepting and flowing with whatever comes, thoughts or feelings, without trying to change them, and following wherever that leads.
  • Combining tapping with other ways of shifting energy and emotion, and other Energy Techniques.

Rod Sherwin – tap4health.com

  • Match the clients language, their sensory representation, their metaphors and even their speed of tapping. Also, use questions when tapping to allow the mind to fill in the answers.

Pamela Bruner – MakeYourSuccessEasy.com

  • Longer IS better – there is a huge difference in 10 min vs 30 min. If you really need to reduce a charge in order to see new possibilities, don’t give up too soon.

Andy Hunt – practicalwellbeing.co.uk

  • I think a willingness to be open to your experience without fear or favour as you tap on what is going on. This requires quite a lot of humility as a lot of what turns up (at least in my experience) is not very edifying.
  • Persistence and a willingness to pursue the SUDs score down to zero, some of the most important stuff is often hidden between 2 and 0.

Using EFT For Goals That Are Hard To Measure

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photo by Angie Torres

I was recently working with a client, who we will call “Joe”. Joe asked, “I am starting to wonder if I am on the right path. I have a set of goals, but I can’t really tell if I working towards them. I know I am working hard, but I don’t know if I am moving forward. How can I tell if I am doing the right work and making progress, or just spinning my wheels avoid the real work because I am afraid of it?”

This is a thoughtful question.

When it comes to judging our success there are two types of goals: those that are easy to measure and those that are hard to measure. As we talked it became clear that Joe’s problem stemmed from the fact that he was dealing with goals that were hard to measure.

Let’s look at both types to identify the problem and how we can respond.

Easy To Measure Goals

Examples of easily measurable goals are:

  • Lose 25 lb
  • Sell $3000 in products this month
  • Run a 5km race
  • Complete my college degree

The nature of these types of goals make them easy to measure. It is clear how much weight we have lost, how much we have sold, and if we have completed something like a degree or a race. Because these are easy to measure judging our progress and taking clear steps towards them is straightforward.

When the steps are clear it is easier to figure out where our emotional blocks are around the actions that we aren’t taking and to work our way through the issues that cause us to sabotage our progress.

Hard To Measure Goals

Examples of hard to measure goals are:

  • Improve my mental health
  • Increase my self esteem
  • Deepen my spiritual practice
  • Be more present to my partner

These are wonderful goals and great things to work towards but Joe’s question is important. How can you tell if you are really moving towards these goals when progress is not easily measurable?

To assist with this we can use a simple three step process, first to help us to see a clearer path to achieving these goals, and second to identify the emotional blocks we need to clear in order to move forward.

1) Name the proof that we have achieved our goal
Even though it is difficult to name how we can tell when we have reached a goal that is hard to measure, it is often easier to name the desired outcomes of these goals. Let’s take the goal “Increase my self esteem”. Even though I can’t measure my self esteem I know what my day looks like when I feel better about myself.

It might look like this:

  • I make more eye contact with my co-workers
  • I give my opinion at work
  • I ask the waiter to have my order fixed when they bring me the wrong meal
  • I end my phone conversation with my friend when she starts to belittle me

All of these outcomes are measurable and because they are measurable we can start to gauge if we are just tapping for an issue, or really doing the important work needed before we can move forward.

In the first step take some time to come up with a list of how you can tell if you are achieving a hard to measure goal. I would encourage you to come up with a list of 10 ways to measure each of these goals.

2) Identify the strategic and emotional blocks to achieving the outcomes
For each of the measurable outcomes ask yourself these 4 questions. Please write out your answers.

* What steps I can take right now to achieve this outcome?
* What emotions do I feel and thoughts do I have when I read the outcome out loud?
* What will I lose,both positive and negative, if I achieve these outcomes?
* What are the possible negative consequences for these outcomes?

Don’t rush through your answers. Give yourself time to be thoughtful.

3) Tap through your answers
If you have responded thoughtfully to the first two parts of the exercise you now have a useful script to tap through. Instead of treating this like a traditional tapping script where you simply read each line and tap, I want you to take a little more time.

Read a sentence out loud as you tap and sit with the statement for a few moments. Pay attention to the thoughts and emotions that arise. After a few moments move on to the next phrase.

Conclusion

It is important that we have clearly defined measurable goals, but some goals by nature are hard to measure. If we spend time figuring out how to measure what success can look like and clear the emotional blocks to achieving these outcomes we will be able to move continually toward our goals.

I would love to hear your experience with this process in the comment section below.

What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Pro Tappers?

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Two weeks ago I shared with you what a bunch of my favorite tappers think are the biggest mistakes made by beginner tappers. Now I have have some of their answers to, “What are the biggest mistakes made by pro tappers?”
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Does Using EFT Erase Your Memory?

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photo by Kristin Nador

Here is part of an email I received from a reader last week:

“I had a profound experience with my first EFT session whilst just tapping along and now I’m almost scared to indulge in some more. It’s as if I have large chunks of my memory missing. Am I really erasing my memories?”

This is a great question because it is a common experience. AND if we are worried that tapping will “erase” our memories it makes sense that we wouldn’t want to use it.

There are two things we need to understand in order to answer this question: how memory works, and what happens to memories when using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).

Your Memory Isn’t Accurate

The first thing to note is that our memory is not an accurate representation of what has happened. Our memories are incomplete interpretations of the past. If you don’t believe me, ask three of your family members to tell the story of what happened last year over the holidays and you will be given three different versions of events.

In addition to our memories not being a perfect representation of what happened, they also alter over time. Each time we access a memory we are not just replaying what happened, but we are also adding to it.

That is why as time goes by our past looks better and better (or worse and worse). Not only are we remembering something that happened in the past, but each time we think about this past we add positive feelings to the memory.

Many people would describe their first kiss as a magical moment. The reality may have been it was an experience shared by two 13 year olds who had no idea what they were doing, but as the moment is recalled over and over again it is slowly turned into the most magical moment ever.

The fact that tapping changes the way we remember things is not surprising because we are always changing and reforming our memories without even realizing it.

We Didn’t Erase It, We Released It

Once we understand that the memory is not static we can start see what happens to our memories when we are tapping.

Our memories are not just the fact of what happened. In addition to, “she said this, he said that, and then someone walked in,” our emotion also forms part of the memory.

The memory is: She said this and felt worried. He said that and I felt overwhelmed. He walked in I felt like I had an ally.

In many cases the emotions we remember (and relive when we remember) are a large portion of the memory. When we tap on a memory we release the emotion associated with the memory.

If the memory was 70% emotion and we release all the emotion, then we are only left with 30% of the memory. When this happens it feels like the memory has been erased. It is much like if we only had 30% of the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The picture would be so incomplete we couldn’t tell what we were looking at.

It Is Part Of The Healing Process

When you tap on a deeply emotional past memory there is a very real possibility that it might feel like you are erasing your memory. In really you are just letting go of the emotional charge that is part of the memory. This is a natural part of the healing process and it is OK. There is no need to worry.

AND when this happens you are freeing yourself up to fill the space occupied by the emotion with better and richer feelings.

What Are The Biggest Mistakes Made By Beginner Tappers?

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I recently asked some of my favorite tappers “What are the biggest mistakes made by beginning tappers?” Below you will find their answers. When everyone answered they didn’t know what anyone else was saying. I found it very instructive to see the number of similar answers that were given by many people.
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Did You Know You Aren’t Trying To Get Rid Of Emotions With EFT?

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photo by Kerr Photography

A recent conversation with my client went like this…

Client: I am really sad because I am never going to get to see him again.

Me: Good!

Client: What do you mean good?

Me: It is good that you are mourning the loss of the friendship. It is important to mourn that loss. It’s healthy to recognize that the relationship was important to you, recognize the positive things it gave you, and acknowledge you are going to be missing something.

Client: I didn’t know it was OK to feel this way.

If you search the internet you will find thousands of articles and videos on how to get rid of emotions. When we are working on a negative emotion our the goal is often to get that emotion down to a zero on the SUD scale.

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a great tool to use in responding to emotions.

BUT our goal with tapping is not to be emotionless!

Our emotions serve us. They give us information about how we are responding to what is going on around us.

When we feel angry it is because we perceive that we are under attack. When we feel frustrated it is because we feel like we want or need better. When we feel sad we are recognizing that we are missing something that is important to us.

The emotions themselves are not the problem. Emotions are only a problem when they spring from misinformation, or are disproportionate to the circumstance.

An example of a misinformed emotion would be when we get really mad at someone for not showing up to dinner when we didn’t know they were involved in an accident on the way.

An example of a disproportionate emotion would be pulling over and crying for 45 minutes after we were cut off by another driver.

In both examples we experience the emotion because it is trying to convey information about our experience. The anger is there because we feel attacked because we were stood up. The overwhelm on the road came because there was a part of us that feared for our life. In both cases the emotion went too far and was too big.

We don’t tap to get rid of our emotions, but instead to achieve balance and have them respond accurately and in proportion to our experience.

Many times when we tap we do release emotion completely because it has done its job and passed along the information needed.

At other times we will not get the emotion all the way to a zero and that is perfect because there are emotions we need to feel.

What are your thoughts on tapping for emotions and getting them all the way to a zero? I would love to hear about your experiences below.

Why Do I Always Make Change So Hard? How To Make It Easier With EFT!

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photo by mjzitek

Why do I always make it so hard for myself to change? I know there is an easier way, but I always choose the hard way. Why am I doing that?

That is a direct quote from one of my clients this week. (Did you know you can work with Gene too?)

In my experience, there are two main reasons why my clients make things harder for themselves: value and worth.

Making Our Work Valuable

As a culture we attribute value to hard work to the point of making it a virtue. Whenever we talk about someone who is hard worker it is almost always a compliment.

“He is someone you want on your team. He is such a hard worker.”

“Wow! That was so well done. You must have worked really hard at it.”

There is nothing wrong with hard work. Working hard is a good thing, but it is easy for us to turn working hard into an end in itself. When this happens it becomes distorted from, “It is good to work hard,” into “It is only good if I work hard.”

When this happens we will intentionally choose the harder path because there is a part of us that now believes that only hard work is valuable. To address this we can tap to something like this:

I want to be a hard worker…I want to pull my own weight…I want to make sure I am contributing…But the best way to contribute is to add something that is valuable…Value is calculated by what I add…Or by what I receive…My value is not in how hard I work…There is an easier way…I am allowed to choose the easier way…Even when I do things the easy way…I am contributing…And my work has value…When I do things the easy way it takes less time…And that makes it possible for me to do more…When I have more time I can contribute in more ways…I can add more to my life…And I can take time to enjoy my success…It doesn’t have to be hard to be good…It doesn’t have to be hard to be valuable…

Making Myself Worthy

In addition to making our work feel more valuable we can also make ourselves feel more valuable by doing something that is hard.

We might think on a subconscious level, “Look at how worthy I am! I am struggling therefore I deserve to be here and to be noticed.”

If we think the only way we are worthy is if we work hard, then we will make sure that our work is hard in order to feel more valuable. When this happens we can tap to something like this:

I want to be seen as valuable…I want to be seen as worthy…There is a part of me that believes that if I am working hard…I have a reason to be here…I have a reason to be seen…I have value…There is a part of me that thinks…”Look at me…I am working so hard…I am struggling…Therefore I am carrying my weight…And I am valuable…I am worthy”…I am glad there is a part of me that wants to be seen as valuable and worthy…But I don’t have to work hard…To be valuable…Or to be worthy…I don’t have to work hard…I don’t have to struggle…I can be good and do things the easy way…I am not cheating by doing them the easy way…I am not a cheater by doing it the easy way…I am making the best choice for me…

Conclusion

We don’t have to make it harder than it need be. When we are able to transform the thought that things have to be hard then we can start to make it easier for ourselves. This will allow us to move forward more quickly and with less effort.

A final note: Often the idea that we have to work hard is given to us by other people, such as our parents and teachers. When working with this issue you might also want to look at how to let go the beliefs we have picked up from loved ones. These can be particularly hard to change because it might feel like we are disrespecting or letting our loved ones go when we let go their beliefs. Here is a simple process to release beliefs given to us by others.

3 Things You Need To Keep In Mind Before You Start An EFT Session

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photo by The Happy Rower

Often, in advance of working with someone one-on-one, we will have short conversation to see if we will be a good fit to work together. (If you are interested in working with me one-on-one visit WorkWithGene.com.) Recently, during one of these consultations, I was asked this thoughtful question:

“I have never worked with a practitioner before, is there anything I should know or keep in mind as we start to do this work?”

I have a pre-session audio [link] which helps clients to prepare for the mechanics of the session, but I had never given much thought to what should be kept in mind to get the most out of tapping.

Here are the 3 things that I think will help you to be more efficient with your Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT)/tapping sessions.

Be Willing To Let Go Of Your Story

When I first work with a client on an issue I ask them to give me its history. This includes how the issue is impacting their life, what they have tried (tapping or otherwise) to deal with the issue, and how they think it started.

As they are telling their story one thing I always keep in mind is that most people (myself included) are notoriously bad at accurately reporting what is going in their lives. When a client is talking about their life I treat everything they say the same way eyewitness testimony is treated in a court of law.

Eyewitness testimony is helpful, and a great place to start an investigation. Eyewitness testimony is not a record of facts but an interpretation of what happened from one point of view.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t believe my client or that I think they are consciously trying to mislead me (or themselves). It is just a fact that we are biased when it comes to our perceptions of our own lives.

Many times when a client comes to me they have already been working on an issue for years. I have lots of thoughtful clients who have done a great deal of work on understanding how the issue they are addressing has come to be. Because of this they will often have a story of why they are the way they are.

    “When I was a child everyone thought my sister was amazing. Everything she did was perfect. She was good in school, she was popular, and she was a great athlete. I was always compared to her and I never matched up. The reason I have such low self-esteem is because I always feel like I am never going to match up to the people around me.”

There is an interesting phenomenon that happens when someone starts to tell the story of why they are the way the are when they have been telling that same story for a long time. It is like they have hit the play button in their head and the story they have told many times before starts. You can almost feel them not paying attention to the story any more because they have told it so often that they are on autopilot in the telling of it.

I want to be very clear that I am not criticizing this. I do the same thing. What I am pointing out is how it’s possible for us to become attached to a reasonable story for why we are the way we are.

This story can be a useful jumping off point, but just because it is reasonable does not mean that it is true. If we cling to our story as true, then that is the only avenue we will investigate in our tapping and we may never find the root cause and succeed in getting past this issue.

When we are tapping (with a practitioner or alone) we need to be willing to give up our story of why we are the way we are. This can be difficult because the story we have been telling is reasonable. Look at the example above. That is a perfectly logical reason why someone might struggle with self-esteem, but if we are married to that as the reason we may never move on.

One of the ways I like to deal with this is to tap to something like this:

I would like to heal this issue…I know my life will be better when I resolve this…I have spent a lot of time thinking about the issue…And why I have this issue…The reasons I have come up with are reasonable…And they very likely could be the reason why I am experiencing what I am experiencing…But I also know that I might be wrong…There could be a completely different reason for why I am the way I am…Even though I have invested a lot of time and energy into my story…I give myself permission to let my story go…I give myself permission to be open to other possibilities…In the end it doesn’t matter if I am right about why I am the way I am…What is most important is my healing.

If you take just a moment to tap to this idea before you start your session it will help you to see fresh ways of approaching your problem and open you up to new healing possibilities.

Don’t Need To Know Why In Order To Heal

One of the reasons that we come up with a story to why we are experiencing an issue is because it makes it understandable. When understand something it give us more control over the situation. When something is understandable then we are able to prevent it from happening again.

So the desire to understand why something happens is helpful, but at the same time it can be a hinderance to the healing process. If there is a part of us that needs to understand why something happens it can prevent us from healing.

The logic is this:

  • I don’t like what is happening.
  • I don’t want it to happen again.
  • Therefore, I am going to put all my energy into understanding why.

If we find ourselves in this place it will be difficult to move forward. Clear this idea by tapping to this:

I have had this issue for a while…And I really don’t like how it feels…And I don’t want to experience this ever again…There is a part of me that wants to understand how this happened…If I knew how or why this happened then I could prevent it from happening again…As important as it is to understand why this happened…It is more important to heal and move beyond it…There will be times when I understand exactly what the root cause of an issue is…There will be other times when I will have no idea why this happened…As nice as it would be to understand why…It is much more important to heal…I give myself permission to heal this issue without ever knowing why or how it happened…It would nice to know that…but it is not necessary.

It Is A Process

It is easy to be seduced with stories of and personal experience with “one minute miracles.” I have seen people go from total scepticism about tapping, to frustration that tapping isn’t fixing everything in their lives in one session.

It is good to understand the power of tapping, but it is also important that we keep it in perspective. If it took a lifetime for an issue to take root, it also makes sense that will take time to unroot it.

Healing is a process and it is important we bear this in mind or we will miss the progress we are making (see “The 10% Solution”), get frustrated, and quit. To help keep this in mind I like to start (and end) sessions with tapping something like this:

I know that healing is a process…There is a part of me that would like this healing to happen right now…And it is good that I am motivated to have healing happen sooner rather than later…But it is a process…Each time I tap I will make progress…Each time I tap I will get closer to my goal…But I choose to be easy with myself…And be easy with the process…As it unfolds…Healing is happening…At a rate that will help ensure that the effects are lasting.

Conclusion

One of the fastest ways for us to give up on tapping is to experience ineffective tapping sessions. If you give yourself permission to surrender your own story, release the need to know why you are the way you are, and give up the need to heal right now, you will set yourself up for a useful and successful tapping session.

What stumbling blocks have you run into when tapping? I would love to hear about them in the comments below.

Is It OK To Say “Not” While Doing EFT?

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In a number of your EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) scripts you use the words “not” and “does not” For example in your forgiveness tapping script, “When I choose to forgive John, what I’m choosing to do is to no longer be emotionally tied up in this past instance…More than likely, John doesn’t give this transgression any thought at all…It doesn’t do me any good to keep re-living this wound over and over again…” I have heard that the subconscious mind ignores the word “not” and every time we say we don’t want something we are really telling the subconscious we want it. Do you think this is true and how should it impact our tapping?


photo by Nathan Gibbs

It is really interesting that when we hear something said over and over again from a source that we deem credible, we take it as the truth. It would be too time consuming to question everything that we hear throughout the day, but a healthy sense of questioning is important, especially when what is said is contrary to our own experience.

Here are my thoughts on the matter.

1) How Is It Working For You?

Before I share my thoughts on what I think about what should be said with tapping we need to keep in mind the most important question when it comes to all types of tapping:

“How is it working for you?”

The nice thing about tapping is that it only takes a few moments to try something new. Assuming you are taking total responsibility for your health and your actions, give it a try.

This goes for the phrases you use, the places you tap, how long you tap on each point, and the order in which you tap on the points. If it works for you, keep doing it. If it doesn’t, try something new.

2) We Aren’t Tapping Anything In

EFT isn’t about tapping the good things in and tapping the bad things out. EFT is about bringing the system back to balance. The words we use aren’t magic and there are no right or wrong words. There are only useful and un-useful tapping phrases.

The tapping phrases we use are different from a daily affirmation or mantra. It is possible (and encouraged) to tap to these if you have found ones that are powerful and meaningful to you. It is important to remember that EFT is a very different process than changing your beliefs through exposure to new ideas in a cognitive way.

The goal of a tapping phrase is to help us to tune into the emotion around an issue and to get us in touch with the pain, misinformation, or limiting belief. It really doesn’t matter what those words are.

If saying, “I will never be a success” helps you to tune into the hopelessness you are feeling, then that is a perfect tapping phrase. You might want to add, “and I give myself permission to believe it will not always be this way” to expand the tapping experience.

With EFT finding a way to the emotion is more important than the words we choose to say while tapping.

3) Needing To Know What We Don’t Want

When we are in pain the thing we think most about is the pain. Because we are in pain it is hard to see past it so we often have to start with what we don’t want to be able to name what we do want.

For someone who wants to release weight they often need to tune into all the things they don’t like and are painful about carrying extra weight (physical pain, poor health, low self esteem, and/or shame of losing control) before they can name the things they do want.

All they can think of is what is wrong.

But we can build on these NOT statements.

  • I do not want to be overweight, but instead I want to have a healthy body.
  • I do not want to be ashamed of the way I look, but instead I want to be comfortable in my own body.
  • I do not want people to see me as someone who has lost control of simple daily choices, but instead I want to be a model of self control for my children so they learn to feel empowered in their own lives.

The second half of these statements are powerful things to tap on, but I have found that tapping both the negative and positive can also be very powerful.

4) Is It Really True?

The most common place to hear people talk about “the subconscious mind ignoring the word not” is from the law of attraction community. Their thinking is not so much that the subconscious ignores the word “not,” but more the idea that when I think of the things I don’t want then I am giving them energy, which will in turn bring more of them into my life.

In the last few years scientists and social scientists have used a rigorous, repeatable methodology to test how visualizing the things we want relate to us getting what we want. The findings point to the fact that simply focusing on what we want is a demotivating factor and the more time we spend emotionally experiencing what we want in our minds, the less likely we are to take action.

Visualization is most powerful is when we tune into what we don’t want AND see ourselves solving the problems around it to achieve to what we do want.

[For full details on this research please see “The Great Visualization Hoax”)

If this were the case statements like, “I don’t want to be late” and “I don’t want to be in a car accident” would compel us to make choices to make us late and involved in accidents. Further studies have shown that by thinking about what we don’t want and creating a plan (like a fire escape route) we are much more likely to not get swept up in emotion, but instead make good choices that lead us to safety.

I will admit that I only did a cursory search, but I was not able to find any evidence supporting the claim that the subconscious ignores the word “not.” I was only able to find many sources stating it as fact.

As always, I am trying to learn more and would love to hear your thoughts. Please let me know in the comment section below if your experience is different, and if you can point me to any studies or research which give this idea credence.

This Is Just Like My Mother/Father

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photo by sean dreilinger

I’ve noticed a pattern in my life that is just like my parents and I can’t seem to tap it away. Is there something special I need to do when dealing with issues that I have picked up from my parents?

It makes perfect sense that we pick up the patterns, traits, and beliefs from our parents. They are the ones who cared for us and taught us during our most formative years. Not all of these patterns and beliefs are helpful. Tapping/Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is great for dealing with issues, but I have found in my work with clients it can be particularly hard to deal with beliefs that have been passed on to us by people we love and respect.

It is possible for us to feel that when we are letting go of these beliefs we are also dismissing, letting go, or disrespecting the people who gave us them to us.

The subconscious can think:

  • If I let go of this I am saying I don’t love my mother
  • If I let go of this I am saying that I am letting go of my father
  • If I let go of this I am saying that my mother was wrong
  • If I let go of this I am saying that my father is not worth anything to me

When we believe any of these things it makes it difficult for us to release those beliefs that are no longer serving us, and to heal and move forward. In order to heal we need to recognize that it is possible to let go of the beliefs held by people who are very important to us, without dismissing or diminishing our relationship with them.

In this example we will assume that we’re working on a money issue passed on to us by our father. Tapping might look like this:

I know that I am approaching money just like my father…and I know that this approach is not serving me…but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to let go this belief…there is a part of me that believes that if I let this belief go then I am also letting go my father…I am saying that my father was wrong…I am saying that I don’t love my father…I am saying that I am not grateful for what my father has done for me…but I know this isn’t true…I can let go of beliefs that my father had without letting go of my father…I can know that I love my father and that my father loves but and not hold everything he said or did as true…my father was imperfect…and it is OK to say that he was and is imperfect…and there are many beliefs that served him in a time and place that don’t serve me…parents want what is best for us…and they might think that one way is right…but even when they want things for us that aren’t perfect for us…they do this because they want what is best for us…I can do what is best for me and still love my father…I can do what is best for me and still appreciate everything my father has done for me…I can do what is best for me and keep the relationship strong…letting go of something my father has given me is not the same as letting go of him

Helping Someone With EFT Right Now!

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I recently had a chance to do EFT with someone who was having a really bad day. I didn’t have a lot of time to explain what we were doing and I didn’t know how to start. Because I wasn’t sure how to explain what we were going to do, I didn’t do anything. Do you have any suggestions on how to share EFT when you don’t have time to explain what you are doing?


photo by eyesplash Mikul

Here’s a story about using EFT when the person didn’t even know she was doing EFT.

I am part of a team which works in a school system to provide aid and support to faculties and staff in the first 72 hours of an emergency situation. We provide emotional support, debriefing opportunities, and response activities to help begin the healing process.

Recently we were called into a middle school on a Monday morning after one of the seventh grade teachers, “Jane”, had committed suicide over the weekend. By 11am much of our work was done. The students had had a chance to respond, we had identified the students and faculty who would need special attention, and the students were ready to get back to the school day.

Most of the team was debriefing in a hallway as we were waiting for one final class to finish. The vice-principal approached us to ask if one of us would be willing to talk with a second grade teacher who was having a particularly hard time.

I went downstairs to talk to the second grade teacher, “Sally”.

The teacher who had died had only been in the school a year and didn’t particularly get along with the rest of the staff. Sally had been one of Jane’s few confidants at the school. Sally was struggling with two issues.

First, she knew how hard Jane’s situation had been and was feeling guilty that she didn’t do more to help her. Second, she was mad because Jane had left behind a 13-year-old daughter.

I asked her if she wanted to try a relaxation technique that might help a little. I asked her to show me by holding her hands apart how big these emotions were. She held her hands about 2 feet apart.

So I said:

“Place both of your hands on your temples like this,” which I demonstrated by touching both of my temples with my fingertips, “take a few deep breaths and just listen to my voice”:

How could she have left her daughter like this…I should have done more…I knew it was coming and did nothing…her husband has to raise a child on his own.

“Now touch just below your nose like this,” as I demonstrated pressing above the upper lip, “take a few more deep breaths and just listen to my voice”:

Guilty I didn’t do more…mad she left them behind

I repeated this for the chin and collarbone points. I then checked in to see what was left, knowing we had made progress just by looking at her face. She showed her hands 4 inches apart, so we did one more round with just the four points.

I asked if she needed anything else.

She just wanted to give me a hug of thanks and headed back into her classroom.

There are a few things I learned or were reinforced from this experience:

  • Not all the points are always necessary. We have seen this as the basic protocol has moved from 14 to 7 points. Sometimes we don’t need more than one point. Use what is useful.
  • Client don’t have to say anything to tune into the issue. If the issue is intense enough they are fully tuned in and words are unnecessary. Also, the practitioner can provide the words of focus when the client can’t. In this case it was easiest for me to do it, since I didn’t have time to explain what we were doing.
  • Sometimes it’s easiest just to do the work, rather than explain what you’re doing. I know in the past I have talked people out of EFT by trying to talk them into it. People don’t want EFT (or any other tool or protocol), they just want to feel better. By asking, “You want to try something that helps?” they say yes to meet a need. But if I were to say, “Do you want to try a meridian-based psychotherapy that works with the energy of the body to heal at the cellular level?”, I’d be likely to encounter some resistance because I then have to explain every part of the question I just asked.
  • ALSO, because I didn’t feel that I had a lot of time to explain what we were doing, I had her use the touch and breathe method instead of tapping. I figured if I was going to have her tap it was a chance to place one more question in her mind. Keeping it as simple as possible removed all resistance to trying something new.
  • It’s not the best option, but it is possible to work with two issues at once. I have seen in my own practice how dealing with one small piece at a time can resolve bigger things, often collapsing more than just the particular issue we are working on. In this case I didn’t have a lot of time. I had pulled a second grade teacher out of a full class. I took a chance on a super shortcut. I only used four points for two issues at once. It worked. If it hadn’t, I would have moved to more points and dealt with one issue at a time. Since the first round of tapping took less than 60 seconds it was a chance worth taking.

I would love to hear about your experiences of working with others at short notice, please add them to the comment box below.