photo by Steve Corey
This week I was working with my client “Molly”. Over the last few weeks we had been tapping for a number of public speaking sales situations. She said:
“Last week was really great. I felt so much more comfortable in my own skin. I was so much more present to my audience and so much less inside of my own head. But I have a question, will that little voice in my head always be there? It feels like it is less powerful now, but it just won’t go away.”
This is a great question. In the article “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” I showed you how to begin to get a handle on your critical voice. But you will notice I don’t talk about making it go away.
There are two things to keep in mind with the critical voice.
It Is There To Be Helpful
I know it can be hard to believe that the critical voice inside your head that is always beating you up is being helpful, but it really is trying to keep you safe. It’s operating from the assumption that if it points out all the things you are doing wrong, you will then correct your actions and make better choices.
You know as well as I do that it doesn’t work like that. That nagging voice doesn’t usually produce any positive change, it simply brings us down and saps our motivation.
When we do something like this 8 step process we can start to transform our critical voice into something useful.
At first blush it would seem that we just want to silence that tireless, nagging voice, but it can be very useful in pointing out possible obstacles and opportunities.
We Will Keep Trying Harder Things
Even when we have tamed our critical voice and have it under control, it will still be useful to us as we move ahead and aim higher. When we stretch ourselves and attempt new and different things that may be a little scary, our critical voice will show up to try to keep us safe.
The moment my internal voice goes mute is the moment that I have stopped growing and progressing.
Making Sure It Is Helpful
So, to answer Molly’s question directly: No, your critical voice will not go away AND that isn’t a bad thing.
Our aim is to move away from an internal battle and to welcome our internal voice as a watchful ally. In doing this we will feel better about ourselves because we aren’t being beaten up for the inside out AND we will be able to move forward in a helpful way.
I would encourage you to re-visit “Transforming Your Critical Voice Into Something Helpful In 8 Steps” and start the transformation right now.