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Pod #378: How to tell if you are making progress with Tapping w/ Mary Ayers

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With some issues measuring our success is a simple task. For example, after going to the gym four times a week for a few months I can measure how much stronger I am by how much weight I can now lift compared with when I started.

But not all types of transformation are as easy to track, particularly for issues and responses that are incrementally changing over time. For example, how could you measure more confidence or less anger?

In this conversation Mary Ayers and I talk about how we can measure our progress through the lenses of three different characteristics of the issue that are all measurable.

If you are tapping on an issue over the course of multiple tapping sessions, then understanding this is a must. First, it will help you to understand what is working so that you can continue to do it. Second, it will identify the areas where you need to try a different approach. Finally, seeing the progress that is often missed will help you to gain momentum in your transformational work.

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Guest: Dr. Mary Ayers

Contact: web @ TapIntoAction.com; web radio @ The Chickenshits Guide to Success; facebook @ Tap Into Action

About Mary: Dr. Mary Ayers knows how to get people un-stuck! With her years of experience as a therapist and a coach, you won't find the typical or ordinary coaching techniques in her programs. When it comes to taking action, she pulls out all the stops – delving deep to find those hidden fears and limiting beliefs. Known for her UNconventional, often “off the wall” methods, she will get you moving towards your goals without bullying, shaming or “pushing through the fear”. With over 27 years in the Human Development field, her accomplishments include 5 years as a coach with the Anthony Robbins Organization, EFT Expert on The Tapping World Summit, and Host of the radio show “The Chickenshit's Guide to Success”.

Pod #377: When The Body Is The “Enemy” and Weight Release Is A “Battle”

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We often treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the journey towards better health as a battle.

We can feel betrayed by our bodies, and feel hopeless and frustrated by our slow or lack of progress.

But our bodies are not our enemy. In reality, our bodies are doing what they can to be healthy and there are simply unseen obstacles to the healing process

Once we recognize that we are not separate from our bodies, and that they are trying to function in an optimal way, it becomes easier to work towards better health and well being.

Recently I was working with a client on returning to a healthier body after backsliding (again). After a great session he asked if we could spend some time on helping him to believe that progress was possible and to reconnect with his body.

When we had finished the session he said, “You should write that down so others can use it.” When I told him that I could share the recording if I had his permission, he insisted I did, so here it is.

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Pod #376: Tapping For How We Act Based On How Others See Us

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Recently I was introduced to the quote “I'm not who I think I am. I not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am.”

[Note: Unfortunately the source of this quote is not clear, or I would provide it. It is variously credited to Charles Horton Cooley, Thomas Cooley, and Dennis Cooley.]

The gist of the quote is that we often find ourselves trying to live up to an imagined standard that we think other people have for us.

This is a surefire recipe for self-sabotage! Either we will be trying to do what we want to do and trying to do what we think others want us to do. This has us taking action in multiple and often conflicting ways, which results in little to no progress. OR we take no action at all because we are caught between our own desires and the perceived desires of others.

In this week's podcast I provide two ways to remedy this situation.

First, I have a simple process for uncovering and tapping for the specific expectations we think others have for us. Second, I have more general tap-along to help you get moving even when you can't see the beliefs clearly.

As always, I have included a text version of the tapping script below the audio player that you can print out.

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I know that other people have impressions of me…They have beliefs about who I am…They have beliefs about what I am capable of…They have beliefs about how I act…And I also have an impression of what I think other people think about me…Based on who I am…Based on my experience…Based on her past interactions…I have written a story inside of my head about how they navigate the world…I've written a story inside of my head about what they think about me…It is possible that the story I have written about what they think about me has nothing to do with what they actually think about me…I'm in a situation where I respond to what I think they think…Because for me what I think they think is the reality I operate in…And my emotional response comes from this…The action I take is informed by it…This means my actions and emotions are impacted by a story written inside my head about what I'm guessing they think about me…It doesn't matter if this is what is really going on…Because I am responding emotionally to the story that I have written…I give myself permission to let go of these stories…I give myself permission to know I don't have to respond in this way…I give myself permission to define myself in my own terms…I give myself permission to choose who I am…Not what other people think I am…Not what I think other people think I am…But who I am…It is safe for me to be authentically me…It is safe for me to be my true self…It is safe for me to make choices and actions based on who I am…Knowing that it does not matter what I think others think about me…The reality is most people aren't thinking of me at all…They are so wrapped up inside their own experience they are completely missing me…I am not crossing their mind…And since I'm not crossing their mind…It doesn't matter what I think they think about me…All that matters is me being myself…It is safe for me to be myself.

Pod #375: The Grounding Process

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The human experience can be full of complications and conflicts. My clients often say things like “I am of two minds” or “My head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me something else.”

It's difficult to move forward if we feel we are being pulled in multiple directions!

To help navigate this, I have created what I call the Grounding Process. It is designed to move you from feeling scattered to being fully grounded by connecting your mind, heart, and physical body to your higher self.

This is one of my favorite processes and I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me.

A number of years ago Jessica Ortner of the Tapping Insiders Club interviewed me about the process. We then did the process together, so that you can tap right along with it.

[Note: In an effort to make the Tapping Q & A Podcast archive easier to navigate, the old bonus podcasts have been turned into full episodes. This episode was originally released December 24th, 2009.]

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Pod #374: Tapping To Music From Your Teen Years

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Music can be so powerful at setting our mood.

So much so that experiments have shown that music can dictate our interpretation of events where images are accompanied by different kinds of music. For example, grave images with whimsical music were seen as humorous, and sad pictures with silly music were perceived as funny.

We have a special connection to music in our teenage years for a number of reasons:

  • It's usually the time in our lives in which we listen to music the most
  • Teenagers are often most engaged in seeking out and listening to new music
  • We experience the most emotional change in our teenage years (see podcast 373 on the adolescent brain)

Hearing a song from your teenage years can instantly put you back in that time. It is more than a fleeting feeling of nostalgia, it's like you have been transported back in time. The strength of that connection means that music can be a great tool for clearing issues from the past that we are still carrying.

This week I have one of my favorite tools for you on how music from our teen years can be used with tapping to effect powerful transformation.

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