Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Pod #383: Something That Needs A Cool Name, But Doesn’t Have One

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This is a technique that I developed from some of the resources from Quantum Techniques. I use this with many of my clients at the end of sessions, especially when we have done powerful work.

This is also a great way to relax at any time, but is particularly good for the end of the day or right before bedtime.

The technique takes less than three minutes and it’s so easy to master that you only need to listen to it once. The interesting thing is how effective this tool is and it doesn't even require you to tap at all.

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Pod #382: How Our Goals Can Impede Successful Tapping

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If you have been following me of any length of time online, then you know how much I love goal setting.

I find that goals are useful in clarifying what we want, helping us to create an actionable plan, and give us the tools to evaluate our progress.

At the same time, having a clear idea of what we want can actually become a problem when we turn success into an all-or-nothing proposition. When we make our goals all or nothing, anything less than perfection will feel like a failure.

For example, let's consider a painful knee that hurts at the level of a 7 on a 0 to 10 scale. If my all-or-nothing goal is to be completely pain free, even a reduction in the pain to a 2 will leave me feeling dissatisfied.

This causes two problems in the moment. First, we aren't able to appreciate the progress we have made. Second, we are much less likely to take action again in the future because we are unlikely to attempt tasks at which we “failed” in the past.

This week I have a simple tap-along audio to help you celebrate the success you are having and to clear any resistance to keep taking action because you haven't yet reached your goal.

You can find the full tapping script as a pdf of this audio over at Tapping Q and A Podcast Scripts and Transcripts.

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Pod #381:Tapping To Reconnecting With Our Physical Bodies

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While on retreat a number years ago Russ Hudson said, “We must be in touch with the mind, body, and spirit in order to be candidates for transformation.”

Because of the nature of the modern world we have lost touch with our physical bodies. Most of us are not working the land, in tune with the seasons, or using our bodies for work. Just watch someone who is on-line. It looks as if they have left their bodies.

It is very easy (and healthy) to reconnect with our physical bodies.

This simple little tap-along will help you to reconnect to your body and feel more grounded inside your body. It takes less than 4 minutes to do and is the prefect tap-along to start your day. After you do it a few times you are going to be able to repeat the process without having to listen to the audio again.

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Pod #380: Tapping For When We Need To Make An Ask

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Human beings are social creatures.

That means that in order to thrive, we need to do more than just interact with others, we need to work together, whether collaboratively in a professional context, or by sharing enjoyable activities in our social lives.

Whenever we ask someone to do something with or for us, we risk being turned down. That may seem obvious, but there is a deeper issue at play because on a subconscious level, a rejection may be read as a rejection of us and who we are.

Even though this isn't the case, if we are struggling with that emotion, we are unlikely to take the action that we want to take. When we don't ask to connect and work with others, we miss opportunities and our lives aren't as rich.

This week I have for you a simple tap-along (tapping script below) to help you to know it is safe to ask others, even if they might say no.

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I recognize that I really want someone to say yes…Because if they say yes, it will be good for me…And it will be good for them…Because we're doing something together, our lives will be better…If I ask them to do this…I'm giving them the opportunity to say no…And when someone says no to my request…Especially a request I really believe in…Especially a request I really want…It is easy to feel that when they say no, they are rejecting me as a person…Like they are saying I am not worth their time…They are saying I'm not worth their effort…They are saying I am not worth their energy…They are judging me as unworthy…Because when I ask for something…It is because I believe in it…On some level my request is part of me…And when they turn down my request, it feels as if they are turning me down…I give myself permission to recognize that when people say no to me…They are saying this is the wrong fit…They are saying this isn't the right time…They're saying they're not in the right emotional state to say yes…They are saying they don't understand what I am offering…When someone rejects my offer…That is not the same as rejecting me… They aren't making a value statement about me…They're not making a judgment of me…They are stating where they are…Therefore it is safe for me to ask…When I ask I'm giving them permission to say no…It is not judgment…It is not a statement of who they think I am…I give myself permission to know my life is better when I ask for what I want…Even if most of the time people say no…Every time someone says yes it is an opportunity and experience I wouldn't otherwise have…I give myself permission to be easy with myself as I ask…Knowing that my ask doesn't have to be perfect…It is safe for me to want what I want…And it is safe for me to ask…It is even safe for me to hear them say no.

Pod #379: The Problem With Goals And Expectations

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I am a huge proponent of goal setting.

Having clearly defined goals is helpful in two ways. First, it helps to define the actions we need to take to achieve them. Second, it gives us a measuring stick with which to evaluate our efforts along the way and after the fact.

Without having set goals I wouldn’t be as happy and successful as I am. I love goal setting so much that I created an entire web site dedicated to working toward your goals.

But there is a problem with goals: they create expectations.

Expectations aren't the problem, but they can create a false dichotomy. On a subconscious level we may believe that either we achieve our goals as written OR we have failed, with nothing in between.

Failing to recognize our progress can demotivate us.

In this short audio and tap-along I talk about how you can avoid the feeling of all or nothing that setting goals can create. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.)

If you are interested in a systematic way of using tapping to achieve your goals and avoiding common pitfalls like the “all-or-nothing” disposition, I encourage you to check out The Ruach Center

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There is a part of me…That wants me to be successful…That wants so much better for myself…That wants me to move forward…It wants me to achieve my goals…I am so happy that there is a part of me that wants to be successful…That wants better…That knows I am capable of more…I can appreciate where I am…I can appreciate the blessings in my life…And still recognize the fact that more is possible…That growth is possible…That progress is possible…But sometimes I look at my goals and I feel disappointed…I feel sad…I feel overwhelmed…I feel angry…I feel frustrated…Because I haven't reached those goals…I know how much better my life will when I achieve them…But I'm not there yet…And that feels so disappointing…But I give myself permission to recognize the fact…That success is not an all-or-nothing proposition…It doesn't come down to simply success or simply failure…As I take steps…As I work towards my goal…I'm positioning myself to achieve what I want…And there will be success along the way…I am already getting better…I'm already making progress…When I don't take the time to acknowledge and appreciate that progress…I do myself a disservice…I end up demotivating myself…I make it harder for myself…To keep taking action…I give myself permission to recognize the fact that I am making progress…I am having success…It is making a difference…Success is not an all-or-nothing proposition…As I move forward…And as I get closer…Success comes with me…Success grows…And as those degrees of success increase…So does my enjoyment…So does my enrichment…So does the quality of my life…I give myself permission to keep striving for better…To work towards my well-crafted goals…To appreciate the progress I'm making in the moment… To appreciate how this progress is helping me to have a better life right now.