Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Do you have an Android smartphone?

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Good morning,

In case you haven’t already heard the good news, Google has just made it a whole lot easier to listen to podcasts on your Android phone!

Up until last week you had to install an extra app to access podcasts, which wasn't the most convenient.

Now it is a super simple two-step process:

  1. Click the correct link.
  2. Click subscribe.

If you happen to be on your Android smartphone you can subscribe to the podcast right here. Just click subscribe and you are set!

If you aren't reading this on your phone right now, the next time you are all you need to do is go to this link: https://tappingqanda.com/abdriod-subscribe

OR download the app!
Did you know that there is a free Tapping Q and A app for both Apple and Android devices? Not only does it provide access to the entire podcast archive, it also includes loads of tapping scripts.

Access the free app here: Android | Apple

Please let me know if you have any technical issues with this,

Gene

Pod #318: What is the best way to use EFT for this issue?

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I often hear from frustrated clients because they have tapped for an issue, but they haven't made any progress. When this happens they question whether tapping can help.

The reality is that in many of these cases the issue isn’t whether tapping will work, but instead what is the best way to tap for an issue.

This week I have for you a simple four-step process to ensure you are tapping in the most effective way to get to the root cause of an issue.

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Pod #317: EFT For Feeling Like An Outsider

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For me, one of the hardest feelings is that of feeling like an outsider. When you are in a room full of people, feeling like you don’t belong and your head spins with imagining what everyone is thinking about you – and NONE of it is good!

Last weekend I found myself feeling exact this way – even though I know that, in reality, most people are far too caught up in their own lives to spend much time worrying about or judging me. Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script for when you find yourself in the same situation.

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I feel like an outsider…I feel like nobody gets me…Even if there were the time and space to explain myself…They still wouldn't understand…Or they wouldn't accept me…Or they would say I don’t belong…It is painful being in a situation where I am surrounded by people…And yet I feel completely alone…When I sense a connection in the room that I'm not a part of…It feels like there is no entry point…Where I feel like my presence is a burden to others…The only thing to do is to try to escape…I recognize the fact my emotions are working way too hard…I recognize the fact that I do have common ground…There are connections that I can make…I don't always have to feel like I'm on the outside…Even if they don't fully understand me…I do have something to offer…There are ways that we can connect…Even if I am not totally at home I can find connection…I can find community…I can be accepted for who I am…Without having to prove myself…I am valuable…I have something to offer…I can connect in a true human way…I am not as alone as I feel…I do not have to fear…I can be completely who I am…Even though it feels scary to be vulnerable…Even though it feels overwhelming to be who I am…Even when it feels like I have nothing to offer…Or that they will never understand…I give myself permission to trust myself…I give myself permission to trust others…I give myself permission to believe in human connection…Knowing that I can create space where I feel at home…My fear of judgment is trying to keep me safe…My fear of judgment is working way too hard…This does not mean I become careless…This does not mean I become reckless…This does not mean I become completely unguarded…Trusting myself and trusting others does not mean I'm letting all of my barriers down…I can be more open and connect more while still keeping myself safe…While still keeping myself healthy…I give myself permission to trust myself…I give myself permission to trust others…I give myself permission to know that I am acceptable…I give myself permission to know that I am lovable…I am lovable in big and small ways.

Pod #316: Wanting Better For Others

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It can tough to see our loved ones making choices that aren't serving them well. Because we have distance from their situation, we are able to see the bigger picture in that way that they cannot.

What can be even more difficult is that often they are so deeply entangled in the issue that they aren't able to hear our our advice.

This week I have for you a simple process that you can tap to when you are wanting better for someone in your life. While remaining responsible for their own actions, this process can help to create the space needed for them to gain a fresh perspective, which opens up the possibility of change.

Not only do I have the simple step-by-step process explained in the audio, but I have also included a link where you can download it and 13 other tapping tools free of charge.

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Pod #315: It Only Takes A Minute

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Sometimes I put off tapping because I don't feel I have enough time for an in-depth tapping session. But often you don't need much time to make a huge difference to how you are feeling.

Recently I had a small physical issue that was more of an inconvenience than the cause of any great pain. I never thought to tap for it because it was so small.

Eventually I got around to tapping for it, which was really effective and I couldn’t believe I’d waited so long! Here’s the simple three-step process I used. Give it a try!

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Pod #314: Releasing Limiting Beliefs

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Many of our beliefs are held at a subconscious level and some of them do not serve us well. They may be inaccurate in the way we describe ourselves, our relationships, and the world and this inaccuracy causes us problems in daily life because subconsciously we believe them to be true.

Once we identify these beliefs we can then use tapping to transform them into a clearer reflection of the way the world works.

Beliefs that have been passed on to us by our loved ones are particularly hard to change. This is because part of us fears that if we let go of the belief, we will also be letting go of the person who gave it to us.

Logically we know this isn't the case, but because this perception exists at a subconscious level it can slow or even halt our progress.

This week I have a simple process you can use to transform the beliefs that have been passed on by others, with a tap-along section at the end.

In the audio I also share with you how you can get a free written version of this tool, the tapping script, and 13 other great tapping tools.

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Here is the tapping script that you are going to use as part four of this process. In the audio above, not only do I share the first 3 steps.

I know that I am approaching this just like the people in my life…and I know that approach is not serving me…but there is a part of me that doesn’t want to let this belief go…there is a part of me that believes that if I let this belief go then I am letting them go…that I am saying that they are wrong…I am saying that I don’t love them…I am saying that I am not grateful for what they have done for me…but I know this is not true…I can let go beliefs that they had without letting go of them…I can know that I love them and that they love me and not hold everything they said or did as true…They were imperfect…and it is OK to say that they were and are imperfect…and there are many beliefs that served them in a time and place that don’t serve me…they want what is best for me…and they might think that one way is right…but even when they want things for me that aren’t perfect for me…they do this because they want what is best for me…I can do what is best for me and love my parents…I can do what is best for me and appreciate everything they have done for me…I can do what is best for me and keep the relationship strong…letting go of something they have given me is not the same as letting them go.

Pod #313: When People Push Our Buttons

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For some reason, certain situations and certain people just push our buttons, despite knowing logically that our response is irrational and shouldn't elicit as much emotion as we feel.

In this week's podcast I share with you a simple 7-step process you can use when you are having your buttons pushed.

In the audio I also share with you how you can get a free printed version of this tool (and 13 others).

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Pod #312: EFT for Resource and Energy Management in Relationships

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Our relationships are living, breathing organisms, alive with the constant dynamic of give and take. At times there is a lot more give than take. This can affect our feelings about the relationship, about the other person in the relationship, and can even have a detrimental effect on our other relationships

At this year's Spring Energy Event, held just outside NYC, I shared how our relationships impact us and 5 simple tools you can use to cultivate healthier, stronger relationships. This podcast is a recording of my 35 minute presentation.

We would love to see you at next year's event. You can sign up to receive recordings from past events and information about next year's at ,a href=http://springenergyevent.com>SpringEnergyEvent.com.

Pod #311: EFT To Give Yourself Permission To Be Angry

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In last week's podcast I talked about (and shared the scientific evidence) as to why it can be useful to swear while tapping. Even if we accept that swearing is useful, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are comfortable doing it.

When I say uncomfortable I don't mean in terms of using swear words. Instead, we may feel bad because we are angry at all. Anger feels like such a strong and primitive emotion that we may believe that we should be above it and feeling angry represents some sort of personal failing.

Feeling angry from time to time is both natural and healthy. This week we are going to tap for being OK with the fact that we sometimes feel anger. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.)


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I know I have a rich emotional life…My emotions are useful…My emotions are one way in which my system communicates with me…And because of this…It is useful information…I also recognize the fact…That there is a part of me that thinks I am above emotional responses…That believes I have transformed so much…That I should no longer be overcome by these emotions…I should be able to deal with everything…In a calm and reasonable way…The fact that I am feeling these emotions feels like I have failed…Feels like I have made a mistake…Feels like I haven't evolved as much as I think I have…But I give myself permission to know that I'm allowed to feel my emotions…I give myself permission to feel the whole spectrum of emotions…I give myself permission to know that emotions are healthy…I give myself permission to know my emotions are natural…I don't want my emotions to be disproportionate…I don't want to lash out at others with my emotions…But I am allowed to feel them…I am allowed to experience them…It is healthy for me to feel deep emotion…It is not a failing to feel emotion…It is not a shortcoming to feel emotion…Emotions are information…It is unhealthy for me to repress my emotions…I give myself permission to articulate my emotions in a clear honest and authentic way…I am healthier when I articulate my emotions…I am happier in the long term when I articulate my emotions…I give myself permission to feel…I give myself permission not to hold back…I give myself permission to grow through my emotional experience.

Pod #310: Why You SHOULD Swear While Using EFT

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Did you know that swearing is good for you?

And I don't mean just swearing for the sake of it, but there are a number of contexts in which scientific research has shown it is actually good for you. It can help to manage pain, build comradery, and release stress.

It can also be a powerful tool in helping you to tune into your emotions while tapping. Recently Emma Byrne combined her own research into the power of using curse words with the large body of other research on the same subject into a new book Swearing Is Good for You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language.

I have taken all of the pertinent information as it relates to tapping and have included it in this week’s podcast. I explain why swearing is good for you and how you can get the most out of tapping by swearing while you tap.


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Pod #309: EFT for Carrying the Expectations of Others

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One of the situations that my clients struggle with the most is dealing with the expectations of their loved ones.

Our loved ones want what is best for us, but they want what is best of us in terms of what they think will make us happy. Often what they think will make us happy and what will actually make us happy are totally different.

Difficulties arise when going against the expectations of our loved ones feels like a violation of the relationship and the trust inside it. When we fear hurting people in this way, either we do what they want OR we don't follow through on what we want, and remain stuck.

This means that we fail to move forward AND we can end up feeling resentful towards the people we love for holding us back.

This week I have a simple tap-along that will help you to respect and honor what others want while also being able to make the choices that are right for you based on what you want or need.

The full tapping script can be found below the player.

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I recognize that the people in my life want what's best for me…They want me to be successful, happy and healthy…Based on their experience they have a clear definition of what happy is…Since it is their definition of happiness…In their minds it must be everyone's definition of happiness…Therefore their expectation is for me to live up to that definition…I want to be happy too…But I recognize the fact that my definition of happiness and their definition of happiness are not the same…I can appreciate that they want what's best for me…I can embrace their desire for me to be happy…I can do this in such a way where I don't have to adopt their definition of happiness…I do not have to live up to their expectations…I don't have to pick up their specific desires for my life…I can accept that they want what's best for me…Without having to accept their definition of what is best for me.

I also recognize the fact that there are times where I assume others have expectations of me…I assume there is a specific definition about my life…These expectations impact me…But just because I believe expectations are there…Doesn't actually mean these expectations exist…There are going to be times in which I fabricate those expectations inside my own head…I give myself permission to let go of received expectations…Knowing it is possible for me to live the life that I want…Without those expectations.

Sometimes there are really clear expectations others have for me…These expectations are stated in subtle and obvious ways…There are times in which there is nothing I can do to live up to their expectations…Even if I tried to live up to those expectations every moment of the day…There are people in my life who will never be satisfied…And since they're never going to be satisfied…I might as well live the life that I want to live…It does me no good to be dissatisfied with my life…And to have them be dissatisfied with my choices…If they are going to be unhappy with unfulfilled expectations…I might as well live the life that I want…Because my choices will not impact their happiness…Therefore I need to make the choices that are best for me.

I give myself permission to know that the only thing that matters…Is how I perceive my life…Is how my choices resonate with me…About who I am creating myself to be…About whether or not I am satisfied with that…I know my choices impact others…I know there are people who have strong beliefs about how I should live…I know others have invested in me helping me create the life that I have…I have to take responsibility for my life…I have to take responsibility for myself…I give myself permission to know I'm allowed to live up to my expectations and not anyone else's…And that will serve me in the short term and will serve me in the long term.

Pod #308: EFT to Celebrate Success

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We all know that tapping is a powerful tool when we are in pain, distress, and discomfort. Did you know it can also be a useful tool when we are celebrating success?

The reason for this is because it is common to feel a number of negative emotions at the exact same time as feeling happy and successful. It is possible to feel:

  • That we are not worthy of success
  • Uncomfortable in the spotlight of attention that success can bring
  • Under pressure to always be successful
  • Anxious that our success was just down to luck and people will find out that we are an imposter
  • That it’s greedy or immodest to crave success and we should keep our head down and work harder

If any of these feelings are present, when we feel successful we will subconsciously want to avoid success in the future.

Here is a simple tap-along audio that will help you get comfortable with feeling successful and allow for more success in future. A full tapping script of the audio can be found below the player.

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I'm glad I have this moment for celebration…I'm glad that I've been successful…I appreciate all of the effort that I put into this success…I appreciate all the time that I put into making this happen…I'm glad I've had this success…It is appropriate for me to celebrate the success…Even though I understand intellectually I should be celebrating my success…It is possible that I have subconscious beliefs…About how success is bad and how celebration is wrong…There might be a part of me that is afraid…That since I've had this level of success…I always have to achieve this level of success…That this new success has become the new standard…I appreciate the fact that standards change…I'm glad that I'm consistently striving for more…I appreciate the fact that just because I have achieved this now does not mean I have to achieve this forever…This is a moment in time that demonstrates what is possible…What is possible does not become the new standard…I give myself permission to continue to have success…Without creating unrealistic expectations for the future…I also recognize that my success means people will notice that I'm having success…There's a part of me that doesn't like that sort of attention…There's a part of me that just wants to do the work…That wants to invest my time in what is important and move on to the next thing…I know this success is about me and what I'm getting from it…I'm not doing it for the attention…Any attention I receive does not impact that success…I give myself permission to focus on the success…I give myself permission to focus on what I have achieved and what I get for that achievement…Which gives me the opportunity to build more success in the future…There also might be a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of this success…It believes others deserve this success more…It sees others who have worked hard and not had the same success…It might even believe that this success is some lucky fluke that has nothing to do with me…And since it has nothing to do with me…I shouldn't have the success…I recognize the fact that I was made for success…I recognize the fact that I was built for success…I see how my success serves other people…I see how my success allows me to keep moving forward…I give myself permission to accept and enjoy my success…To use my success to build upon…To know that this is not a fluke…To know that my success does not mean I am stealing someone else's opportunity…I give myself permission to allow success to happen again…To know that I'm worthy of this success…To know I'm worthy of celebrating the success.

Pod #307: EFT For Decisive Action (Even When You Feel Uncertain)

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Recently I was listening to the actor and comedian Dan Van Kirk being interviewed on Kevin Pollak's Chat Show podcast. Dan told the story of his career path, moving from rural Illinois to LA, then to Chicago, and finally back to LA where he ultimately found success.

Dan described the choices he made early in his career and why he made them:

I have this thing, if it's not true north, get the arrow going that direction as much as you can. Conan O'Brien was on Charlie Rose…and he said “Identify the thing you want to do with your life and go to the place they make that, whether it is crayons or kool aid. It doesn't matter. When you get there, do whatever you can to be around that, whether that is making coffee or taking out the trash.” Because he just believed in the proximity to molecules. And if you’re a good person and you work and you can get the arrow in the direction of north as much as possible, it's gonna work out. There is nothing that is going to say you’re going to get to be on stage at the Golden Globes, but you probably won't hate your life either.”

I love the idea that if there isn't an obvious path to your goal, find the path to the place that is closest to your goal and follow it.

The problem is that taking action in the direction of something that isn't our goal and isn't certain can be scary.

This week I have a tap-along to help you to take action in the direction of your goal, even when you aren't sure it is the right step.

You can find the full tapping script below the audio player.

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I recognize the fact that I don't know the obvious path forward…I'm not exactly sure what the next step is…I know what I want in a big picture way…It seems so far away that it feels impossible…It seems so distant that it is almost unreal…Because of that I'm not taking any action…Because on a subconscious level I understand since I don't know where I'm heading next…The action I take might be a waste of time…It might be a waste of energy…Because it might be in the wrong direction…It is true this action might not be the next best step…It is true this next action might not work out…I believe that if I start heading in the right direction…Even if it's not exactly the right direction…I'm going to be moving forward in a way that is going to make the next action more obvious…It will make the next step more productive…Success is the accumulation of many small steps…There is no such thing as an overnight success…The small consistent actions heading towards true north will eventually lead me the right way…They might not lead me to exactly what I'm heading towards…But they will lead me to a place that is better…They're going to lead me to a richer life…They are going to lead me towards fulfillment…I give myself permission to take that next step…Action creates more action…Momentum creates momentum…Me doing nothing is the fastest way to not achieving my goals…I would rather take an uncertain step…Than stay stuck here…Uncertain steps become confident steps…Confident steps become a path…A path becomes a journey…And a journey leads to fulfillment…It's OK that I am scared…It's OK that I'm overwhelmed…It's OK that I don't know what is next…Making progress comes from taking action…I trust myself in this process to move in the right direction.

Pod #306: Sharing Information About EFT with Others w/ Robin Bilazarian

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Sharing EFT/Tapping with our loved ones can be a difficult task, mostly because it is kind of weird.

Talking about tapping in a way that others will listen to is a skill. This week I have a conversation with someone who has mastered this conversation.

Robin Bilazarian is a licensed mental health professional who has been tapping with her clients for over 20 years. In addition to her private practice she currently works 20 hours a week serving the staff of an urban hospital. Because of the challenging nature of the work, the staff are required to see one of the mental health professionals.

That means Robin works regularly with people who have NOT come to her because she is a tapping practitioner. In fact most of her clients at the hospital have never heard of tapping before walking into her office.

In our conversation Robin and I talk about the best ways to share tapping. If you are interested in sharing the good word of tapping with others, this podcast is a must listen.

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Robin Bilazarian

Guest: Robin Bilazarian

Contact: web at RobinEFT.net

About Robin: Robin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker(LCSW), a Diplomat of Clinical Social Work ((DCSW), a Diplomate of Energy Psychology (DCEP) and an AAMET International EFT Trainer. She obtained her BA from The University of Massachusetts and her MSW from the University of Pennsylvania and University of North Carolina/Chapel Hill Schools of Social Work. Her internships were at Duke University Psychiatric Outpatient Clinic and Philadelphia State Hospital.

Robin has years of experience in working with all aspects of mental health, family and EAP counseling. She is a psychotherapist in private practice and with an EAP in a regional trauma hospital. For the past 10 years she has been passionate about running workshops to share the knowledge obtained from a productive career in counseling others.

Pod #305: Surrogate Tapping For Children w/ Dawn Pensack

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As much as we would like to share tapping with our friends and family, it is not something that we can share with young children.

Young children do not have the focus and ability to tap, and infants are clearly unable.

This does not mean that they can't benefit from tapping because it is possible for us to tap on their behalf, which is known as “surrogate tapping”.

In this conversation Dawn Pensack and I talk about the fundamentals of surrogate tapping and best ways to do it for the children in our lives.

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Dawn Pensack

Guest: Dawn Pensack

Contact:  web @ DawnPensack.com; facebook @ DawnPensackEFT

About Dawn: Dawn combined her years of working with children as a math teacher, her strong desire to bring happiness to families, and her love of spreading emotional management into a wellness business that helps her fulfill her true purpose on a daily basis. Dawn works with parents who are struggling to have it all – a life, a career or business, and a family in the midst of a chaotic world. She reminds her clients that while it may not be easy, it’s possible to be the parent you want to be with the right tools and support.

She teaches her clients that you have to first love yourself and each other before you can have happy, healthy kids. To create the family of your dreams, you have to light the fire with inner peace and sustain it with the kindling of peaceful parenting. Her step-by-step method is research based and proven to work, and the support that she offers makes implementing feel possible.

Pod #304: Listen To Your Body And Find Better Health w/ Deborah D. Miller PhD

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In our modern world it is so easy to become disconnected from our bodies, especially as most of us spend our days seated at desks, rather than engaged in any kind of physical labor.

When we take the time to tune into our bodies, we can access a wealth information that we can use to improve our health and wellbeing.

In this conversation Deborah Miller and I talk about how we can better tune into our physical bodies, how to interpret physical sensations, and then how to respond with tapping to this information to become healthier and happier.

Everything we share is easy to understand and simple to implement, so you can feel better right away.

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  • Where is the pain located? Be as specific as possible when describing the location. For example don’t write “my right knee” but “on the front of my right knee on the knee cap.” The more specific the better.
  • What type of pain is it? Is it dull, sharp, achy, pulsing, itchy, or hot? The more detailed the description the better.
  • What is the Subject Unit of Distress lever? This is a rating from 0–10 of the pain. 0 is no pain at all and 10 is the worst pain you have ever felt. Don’t get too hung up on coming up with exactly the right number.
  • What is the 3D shape of the pain? Is it flat on the surface of the skin, does it feel like a ball of pain, is it a long strip of tightness that runs the length of the muscle, or does it have a round center with tentacles of pain spreading out in all directions? Again, the more detail you can provide the better.
  • Is there an epicenter to the pain and where is it located? Is the pain evenly distributed? Does it have more than one center with the rest fanning out?
  • How much does the pain weigh? If you were to guess and pretend that you could hold the pain in your hand, how much would it weigh? You don’t need to know exact pounds, but does it weigh as much as a grapefruit, a steel rod, or is it as light as a feather?
  • If you were to paint a picture of the pain to show to someone else what color or colors would you use? Be specific. Don’t just write red. Is it fire truck red or rust red? Is it red in the middle and fading to light blues as you get to edge of the pain? Describe the color in as much detail as possible.
  • If you were to make a model of this pain what material would you use to make it? Would it be a ball of hard rubber, burning lava, metal wire, or does it feel like a mass of cotton candy?
  • Image a little cartoon face on the front of the pain. If it could talk, what would it say? It might say something specific, it might scream in pain, or it might just stick its tongue out at you. Give it a voice and what would it say?
  • What does the pain remind you of? Just write the first thing that comes to mind. It could be a person, a place, or a situation.
  • What emotion is associated with the pain? Again, don’t give this a lot of thought, just the first thing that comes to mind.
  • What memory is associated with the pain? There may not be one, but when you read that question, what is the first thing that came to mind?
  • Is the pain associated with someone? Don’t think about this too much, but who comes to mind and why?
  • What does the pain need? Does it need to be heard? Does it need you to do something? Just ask the pain, what does it need, and write the answer down.
  • What does the pain want you to learn? It might not want you to learn anything, but ask the pain what it needs.

Deborah Miller

Guest: Deborah D. Miller PhD

Contact Deborah: website and Tapping Guides @ DeborahMiller.org

About Deborah: Deborah D. Miller, Ph.D. in Cell and Molecular Biology is passionate about helping people feel empowered and capable of maintaining a healthy state of mind and body.

Deborah is an EFT Expert and Trainer, Deeksha Giver, Reiki Master, Nutritional Guide, Personal Motivation Guide and internationally recognized author. She understands the necessity of working with the emotional aspects underlying ‘dis-ease’ within the body and the need to cleanse and nourish the physical body. Her personal journey of improving her own immune system gives her hands-on experience of the requirements for improving one’s energy levels and health.

Deborah volunteers at a children’s cancer wing in Oaxaca, Mexico, applying EFT and energy techniques to the children, parents and nurses helping them reduce stress, fear and anxiety while improving their mental and emotional health in a way that is complementary to the treatments given at the hospital.

Helping these children has led Deborah to a heart-felt, passionate and inspired goal. She is dedicating herself to helping at least 1,000,000 men, women and children prevent future illness (mental, emotional or physical) using the simplest, easiest and most economical methods. Tap, eat and drink your way to health!

Deborah is the author of the beautifully illustrated book “Tap It … ALL Better Now!”, (English: book | kindle; Español: libro | Kindle en Español; Français: livre) which is dedicated to empowering parents and children facing the challenge of a serious illness in a way that provides relief and peace, and “Green Drink Red Drink”, which provides information and recipes on how to add healthy greens to your meals.

Deborah has been a guest on the Tapping Q&A Podcast a number of times. Make sure you check out her past appearances.

Pod #303: EFT For When Others Think Ill Of You

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Recently I made a mistake and I hurt my friend “Dave”. That mistake caused him a lot of trouble.

In addition to being mad at me for making the mistake (which he had every right to be), Dave was also mad at me because he thought I had taken advantage of him. Because I knew him so well, he thought I’d used that knowledge against him to get what I wanted.

It simply wasn't true. I had made a mistake, but I hadn't done anything malicious or intentional.

Dave didn’t give me a chance to explain myself and left thinking I was a selfish, mean person.

This week's audio is the tapping I did after this happened. This is me in real time dealing with my emotions because a friend thought ill of me.

Even if this isn't an issue you are dealing with right now, you might find it instructive to hear me dealing with something in real time, and it just might be useful in future.

There is also a text version of the tapping script below the audio player.

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I'm really frustrated by the fact that someone else thinks ill of me…They think things about me that simply aren't true…And there is nothing I can do about it…Their mind is made up…They are unwilling to listen…They are unwilling to try to understand…I hate it when people think bad things about me…Especially when they're not true…I hate that they are wasting time and energy thinking poorly of me…I hate the fact that they are in a situation where they don't think of me well…Because I want to be liked…I want to be accepted…I want to be appreciated…I want to be seen for who I truly am…I wish I weren’t preoccupied with what someone else thinks…I wish I didn't care…But there is a very human part of me that does care…There's a very human part of me that craves acceptance…I give myself permission to let go of the desire to be accepted by others…I give myself permission to recognize my worth and value isn't determined by others…I give myself permission to know I am not defined by what others think about me…Even though I hate being in this position…I give myself permission to recognize my own worth…I give myself permission to recognize my own value…I give myself permission to know I am more than what others think about me…I recognize the fact it is possible for me to let go of my desire to be loved by all…I give myself permission to know I am not responsible for what other people think and feel about me…Even though there is a part of me that wishes I could change their mind…All that I can do is make good choices in this moment…All that I can do is take responsibility for my choices…All that I can do is strive to be who I truly am… I give myself permission to do exactly that…In this moment and in each successive moment…If I do that I will find my way to being the best that I can be in this moment…That is what I want…That is what I'm going to continue to strive for.

Pod #302: EFT For Resistance to Intentions and Progress

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A few weeks ago in Podcast 299 I shared with you a simple way to use intentions at the beginning of every day as gentle way of taking more positive action throughout the day.

I heard from a number of clients who tried the process and struggled to use it. One described how when she sat down to tap, she completely went blank. Not just for the tapping phrases, but she couldn't remember the type of progress she wanted to achieve.

As unbelievable as it might seem, our system can put up resistance to our progress because on some level it believes it is unsafe for us to change and move forward. If there is a subconscious belief that progress is dangerous, it will do everything in its power to hold us back.

In this audio I demonstrate how to tap when there is a part of us that thinks progress is unsafe. (I have included the text version of the tapping script under the audio player below.)

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It seems really silly that I wouldn't be taking useful action…I've named the goal…But for some reason I'm just not taking action…I know how valuable the change would be…I can feel my system self-sabotaging…But I'm not exactly sure why…In this process I'm open to discovering the resistance…I'm open to releasing that resistance…So I can move forward in a healthy way…I might be worried that it's not safe for me to change…At some point in the past change did not work out well…My system is trying to keep me safe…By avoiding the possible pain that might come with change…In this moment it is safe for me to transform…In this moment it is safe for me to change…In this moment I can move forward happily and healthily as I make this change…It is possible there's a part of me that doesn't believe I'm worthy of change…Other people are allowed to change…Other people are allowed to transform…But not me…For some reason it is not safe for me to move forward in this way…Because there's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of transformation…There's a part of me that doesn't feel worthy of healing…I am worthy of healing…I am worthy of transformation…I'm worthy of moving forward in a way that is healthy for me…I was made for transformation…There's a part of me that might be afraid…That if I attempt this transformation or make this transformation…That others are going to judge me…Others are going to judge my effort…Others are going to judge what I'm attempting…I recognize the fact that this transformation is about me…It's not about others…It's not about what other people think…It's not about what other people believe…I'm allowed to transform regardless of what other people feel…It is possible that there is a part of me that is afraid…That this transformation won’t live up to what I hope it does…It's only going to be a fraction of my needs…And when I get to the end I will be disappointed…It will feel like a giant waste of time…It will feel like a giant waste of energy…It will feel like a giant waste of effort…Because it didn't live up to my desire…It is very possible that this won’t turn out how I had hoped…That this isn't going to turn out how I planned…But even with that being the case…Regardless of the transformation that comes…It is worth my time and effort to try…The effort that I am putting forth…Is about being successful…It's about being healthy…It's not about meeting a specific goal…My goals and intentions are just guidance…Helping me to experience transformation…I give myself permission to pursue this transformation…Even though the outcome is uncertain…It will be worth the effort regardless of the specific outcome.

Pod #301: EFT for Feeling Stillness and Peace

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Sometimes we tap with the aim of just feeling better, without a clear focus for our tapping. We might feel unsettled or out of sorts, but not in a precise way. From a tapping point of view this can pose a problem because often the best results come when we are very specific about an issue.

When this happens to me, I have a simple way to tap for peace, calm, and tranquility.

Here is a tap-along audio that’s perfect for those times and will help bring you peace. (Full tapping script below the audio player.)

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I recognize the fact that I am not at peace…I have thoughts buzzing in my head…I have tension in my body…I have the distraction of all of the things I need to do…I appreciate the fact that I live in the modern world…And there is busyness…I also acknowledge the modern world is not my enemy…Busyness is not my enemy… But they do make it difficult for me to find peace…They do make it difficult for me to find calm…I give my system permission to release and let go of any tension held in my body…Knowing that whatever information is in that tension is information that I can understand in another way…When that tension melts away…I am fully grounded in my body…I can respond to what I need to respond to…In an easy and effective way…I give myself permission to be fully present in my body…To know that it is safe for me to be fully present in my body…I give myself permission to relax…I give myself permission to be in my body in this moment…I also acknowledge that my mind is buzzing…Filled with ideas and thoughts that are trying to get my attention…Part of me doesn't want to let these go…Because if I let them go I will forget…I know that if something is important…It will come back…It will be fully present in my mind…In this moment I am allowed to be calm…I'm allowed to be still…I'm allowed to be mentally fully present in this moment…As I reach for this stillness…There is no other goal than being still in this moment…I'm not trying to achieve something at this time…Other than letting go…That will allow me to be at peace…That will allow me to be calm…That will allow me to relax and let go…I give myself permission to relax in this moment…And in doing so to be at peace.

Pod #300: EFT For Releasing Unuseful Commitments

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Quit has become a dirty word.

American football coach Vince Lombardi is credited with saying that “Winners never quit and quitters never win!”

Early in the movie “Molly's Game” (based on the life of Molly Bloom) there is a flashback to Molly’s childhood and a session training to be a competitive skier. After hours of training she asks her father (who is also her coach) if she can quit because she is tired. Her father replies that she can quit only after she gives him a synonym for tired. She thinks about it for a moment and says “weak”. Feeling defeated she heads back up the hill to keep training.

There is a deeply ingrained mentality in our culture that honors pushing through, in working hard, in overcoming difficult times.

The problem is that there are many tasks, activities, and commitments that we should quit.

Sometimes the projects we start aren't what we thought they would be, do not give us the returns we expected, take way longer than we planned, or we have just plain outgrown them.

It is OK to let go of commitments that no longer serve us!

More than likely you felt some resistance as you read that last line. If that is the case, this is the perfect tap-along for you (below the audio player you will find a text version of the tap-along audio).

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I don't want to be seen as a quitter…I want my word to mean something…I want my commitments to mean something…I want the people around me to take me seriously when I make a commitment…There is a part of me that is afraid that if I do not follow through on my commitments then I'm going to be seen as a quitter…I'm going to be seen as a quitter by other people…I'm going to see myself as a quitter…I am afraid the moment I let myself out of a commitment I am setting a precedent for the future…In which I allow myself out of all future commitments…I recognize the fact that it is possible for me…To look clearly at the commitments I have made…To make the decision to let go of the commitments that no longer serve me…To let go of the commitments that are no longer helpful for me…To let go of the commitments that are no longer healthy for me…I'm able to do this because I recognize I now have new information about the commitment…I now have new information about myself…I recognize the fact that the commitment is no longer a good fit for me…Letting go of this commitment is not a failing…Letting go of this commitment does not mean that I'm a quitter…Instead I'm making a commitment to using my time, attention, and energy in a way that is so much more productive for me…By letting go of the commitments that no longer serve me…I am creating the space and capacity to make good healthy choices in this moment…Allowing me to commit to the things that serve me…Allowing me to commit to the things that are healthy for me…Allowing me to commit to myself in the best possible way…Letting go of commitments is not quitting…It's choosing a new and better future.