Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Using Poetry with EFT (in this case for forgiveness)

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In a recent newsletter you talked about using a forgiveness poem as a tapping tool. I’m not sure what I am supposed to do. Can you give me more instruction?


photo by Pankaj

One of the reasons I love Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) so much is because it’s so flexible. It can be adjusted only to deal with many different issues and many different personalities.

I know I write this all the time, but one fifth of the questions I receive require this sort of answer: The words are not magic. There are no right or wrong words to use while tapping.

For EFT to work we need to focus in on the issue we are currently working on. Saying phrases out loud can be a very helpful tool in getting us to focus, but it isn’t the only way. What matters is that we are tuned into the issue at hand and are tapping at the same time.

The “Movie Technique” is a perfect example of this principle. One application of this technique is to let the movie of the past event play in our minds and tap along with it. As the movie plays, emotions about the memory come up. By tapping we are cleaning these emotions up.

Tapping along to a poem stirs up emotions in a similar way. I want to be very up front. This is not for everyone, but it is very effective for some.

Sometimes when we read a poem, emotions are stirred; that is the sign of good poetry. If these emotions reduce health and well-being, then it presents an opportunity for us to do some clean-up work.

I was e-mailed the following poem by one of my readers, Etta, who said that tapping along with this poem had helped her.

You might read this poem and feel nothing, which is okay. If that is the case, then this isn’t a useful tool for you. But if you read this poem and can use it to tune into your day and some of the choices you made that you regret, then it’s an excellent tool for you.

The great thing about EFT is it costs so little to try. Take 30 seconds and read this poem out loud, not like a performance, but as words you are speaking to your deeper self. Pay attention to what comes up. While you read, tap along. With each phrase just move to another tapping point.

I would love to hear your experience while trying this.

Little Prayer For HRA's (Huna Research Associates)
by Max Freedom Long

If I have hurt someone today
With thought or word or deed,
Or failed another in his need
I now repent

If I can take those steps again,
Tomorrow will I make amends
And heal with love those hurts.
I do this pledge

And if some hurt has struck me deep
And no amends are made,
I ask the Light to balance all.
I count the debt as paid.

Parental Sprits, whom I love,
And who I know love me,
Reach through the door I open wide.
Make clear my path to thee.

The Body Has Information About Our Issues

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I remember reading a suggestion about “asking” a troubled body part what it’s trying to tell you. What exactly does that mean? And how does the answer get conveyed? Would it be a thought or words popping into your head? If so, would it be immediately or would it require additional tapping?


photo by Justin Litton

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is most effective when we can be very specific about the issue that we are working on, but sometimes this is very difficult. There might be so many emotions going at once that we can’t break them into workable parts. Other times there is just a general feeling for which we can’t identify a source. When this happens I like to turn to my body.

One of the reasons I love the feedback that the body gives us is because it’s hard to deny physical sensations, whereas I can choose to deny my emotions. I am capable of convincing myself I’m not mad, angry, or sad. When I do this I am really just pushing an emotion down and choosing not to heal. I can’t explain away knots in my stomach in the same way I can explain away anger. This makes my body a gateway into healing that may be unavailable through other means.

To do this we are going to tune in to the information the body can give us. The following process can be used for both physical and emotional issues. I am going to explain the process in terms of an emotional issue, but it works the same way for a physical issue.

REMEMBER: It is very important to be easy about this. There is no right or wrong answer, and there is no right or wrong way to do this. Trust the process and trust yourself. The body wants to give us information to heal, but if we worry about getting “the right answer” we’ll be too worried to hear what the body is conveying. If you feel any anxiousness to doing this (or doing this well), just tap.

(I know my body has information for me…I’m worried I will do this wrong…I’m worried I will miss important information…I know there are no wrong answers…Even if I don’t make any progress by doing this it’s only taking a few minutes…The more I do this, the better I am going to get at it…Since I don’t know what I’m doing, I choose not to have specific expectations…I give myself permission to be easy about this.)

These are the steps I would recommend.

1) Take a deep breath.
Close your eyes and center yourself. It’s always easiest to understand what’s going on inside of you when you take a moment to relax and pull back from the outside world.

2) Tune into the part of the body you want to get information from.
If there is a very noticeable physical sensation when you think about the issue you’re working on, tune into this place. (For example, a tight chest, shortness of breath, knots in your stomach, tightness in your shoulders, or pain in your hip.)

You might not have a very strong physical sensation clearly associated with an issue. You might be uneasy about something that is about to happen, but you don’t know what that is or where in your body you feel it. The feeling of uneasiness in the body is as abstract as the uneasy feeling.

If you have no idea what part of the body is associated with the feeling simply ask your body where the feeling lives. This might sound a little odd, but it’s as easy as that. Think of the feeling you are working with and just ask your body, “Where does this feeling of uneasiness live?” Trust your body and trust the process. Something will come to mind. At this moment the information might make no sense. You might get the sense the uneasiness lives in your right ankle. Just go with that. Once you know which part of the body you’re working on, just notice this part of the body. Imagine what it looks like on the inside.

Again, be easy about this. There is no “right” answer. As you tune into this part of the body you might see the literal inside of the body, or you might see a metaphoric picture (such as a large stone heavy on your chest).

Also, remember not everyone “sees” things when they focus on something. So don’t be worried if you only see black, but feel that part of the body.

3) Just ask that part of the body what it wants to tell you.
Once you have tuned into the part of the body associated with the emotion ask that part what it needs. Again, this is as simple as paying attention to the image and area of the body and asking the question. In addition to asking what the body is trying to tell you, you can also ask what the body needs.

Pay attention to what pops into your head. It might be completely off the wall. When I ask clients for information and they start by saying, “I am sure this has nothing to do with this, but…” it is the best possible news. If something comes to mind that seems completely unrelated then we can be very certain that it has something to do with what is going on.

4) You might get a clear answer or you might not.
Again, be easy. The information can come in lots of forms. You might get a thought or phrase. You might see a picture. You remember something from your past. You might just get a metaphoric image (like a giant rock).

4a) If the information is usable, then do EFT.
Many times when you do this process you will get very specific information.

  • A memory that can use EFT: As you tune into this body part a memory from your past might come to mind. If any negative emotions are associated with this memory (or memories), do EFT on them. Many times the memories that come up are unexpected and even parts of our past we have completely forgotten about.
  • Information about the body part: I have done this process and have heard very clearly that a specific part of my body has a particular feeling. I’ve heard that body parts are tired, under appreciated, need healing energy, or need forgiveness. Do my various body parts have specific emotions? I don’t know, but I do know that my subconscious mind is giving me very specific information about the parts of my body that need to be healed. Can my knees feel tired? Don’t worry about it. Tuning into the feeling of tiredness associated with my knees and tapping has brought healing to me.

4b) If you get information you don’t understand, just tap.
Sometime when we do this process we get information that makes no sense at all. For example we could be working on the feeling of being uneasy — and we don’t know why we are uneasy. As we go through this process we get the sense this feeling is somehow associated with our lower back. When we tune into the lower back we see tight bands pulling tightly. This is a great image, but we have no idea what it’s related to.

When this happens we tap about not knowing what the body is telling us.

“My body is giving me information, but I don’t understand what it is…I know my body is trying to communicate with me, but I am missing it. …I thank my body for giving me this information, but I need some help…”

This will often bring up information. If it doesn’t bring up any information, ask for the information. Ask your body, “What are you trying to tell me? I need some help!”

5) Repeat.
Just like the instruction on shampoo (”wash, rinse, repeat”) it is best to “Tune in. Tap. Repeat.” Keep tuning in until you feel sure you’ve done enough cleaning. I know this process may seem very odd. It’s difficult to put into words what it feels like to ask a body part for information and get it. The best thing to do is just dive in and give it a try; it only costs you a few minutes. Doing this sort of tuning in takes practice. You will never get information the same way twice. Trust your instinct. The more you do this, the more you are going to trust yourself and the more/better information you are going to get.

Feedback – What We Can Learn From Each Round of Tapping

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I read all these stories about how people get amazing results with EFT right away. It’s just not happening for me. What am I doing wrong?


photo by dave_mcmt

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is easy to use, it can be used on many types of issues, and it can be done anytime anywhere. But even with that being said, the main reason people first become interested in learning EFT is because they hear stories of how EFT changes lives. We all want to heal and improve our lives and are intrigued when we hear others are solving similar problems to the ones we have. The stories most often told are the “one-minute miracles”. We have all heard the stories of people who have fought with some physical or emotional issue for years only to have it go away in moments. These are more than just urban legends. I have seen it in my own practice.

These occurrences are frequent, but they are not the norm. (I believe someday one-minute miracles will be the norm as we continue to learn how the body/mind/spirit system works.) Just because you don’t experience a one-minute miracle doesn’t mean EFT isn’t working, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing EFT wrong.

Personally I think every round of EFT is successful regardless of the amount of progress that is made (even if no progress is made at all). I believe this because with every round of EFT we do we receive some feedback we can learn from. As an added bonus, a round of tapping is so short we receive feedback very quickly, helping us to adjust our approach for our next round of tapping and allowing us to move to healing quickly. If we heed the feedback we receive with each round of tapping we can quickly resolve the current issue. In my experience there are four typical outcomes to a round of tapping that give us information. .

1) The pain/emotion reduce in intensity.
Obviously, this is the best case scenario, the ultimate goal we are trying to reach with tapping. If the intensity decreases we are on the right track and should keep moving in this direction.

2) The pain/emotion increases in intensity.
On the surface this would seem to be a bad outcome. “We are trying to get away from an issue and now there’s more of it? That can’t be a good thing?” But it really is. Increased intensity simply means that we have tuned into the issue more than before. For example, let’s suppose my right knee is injured. All day as I move around there is an ever-present dull ache. The moment I sit down to take a break the pain seems to swell and become very sharp. My knee didn’t start hurting more the moment I sat down. Instead, since my mind wasn’t fully focused on my daily tasks, my thoughts drifted to my knee and I became aware of how much pain I was really in. It is simply an issue of how much I’m focusing on the pain. When I tap on an issue and the intensity goes up, it means I’m on the right track.

3) The pain/emotion changes in location, texture, or type.
This type of feedback is very common. A pain that started in our shoulders is now in our hip. A feeling of anger becomes frustration. A sharp pain that felt like a stabbing pain now is a very warm dull ache. This might not appear to be progress, at first glance. If I start with a pain in my neck that has an intensity of 6 and after a round of tapping it’s a pain in my hip that has an intensity of 6, I still hurt. Any time we have a change in some characteristic of what we’re working on, it really is progress because the change signifies that we are moving down the right path. Change always means progress, with EFT.

Side note: When this happen it is important that we change what we’re tapping on. If the pain moves from the neck to the hip, the next round of tapping must address the pain in the hip. If the emotion changes from anger to frustration, the next round of tapping is must be directed at the frustration. The tapping we do should reflect the issue as it is in the moment we start the next round of tapping.

4) There is no change in intensity.
At first blush this doesn’t seem like desirable feedback, but in reality it is good news. If we do a round of tapping and make no progress at all then we have learned the current set up isn’t right, and we need to change something. At this point we start to look to the reasons that EFT most commonly doesn’t work. Did we clear psychological reversal (PR)? Are we hydrated enough? Are we being specific enough? In this case what seems to be failure is good news because it tells us we need to try something different.

It is all good news!
No matter what the outcome from a round of tapping, it is good news. With every round of tapping we are either healing or gaining information about what to do next.

With each round of tapping you do, remember to be easy with yourself. One round of tapping costs you less than one minute of your day, it’s easy to do, and no matter what the outcome is, you are one step closer to healing. If you don’t have a one-minute miracle, take the information you’ve learned from this round of tapping and go on.

Being Open to Blessings

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I am trying to bring abundance into my life. Can I use EFT to help this process?


photo by d ha rm e sh

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a great tool to help you create more of what you would like in all areas of your life (job success, relationships, and health, to name just a few). There are a number of articles here at EFT Q & A that talk about this issue and can be found by clicking the topic “abundance“.

Last week I found one more way EFT can be helpful in the quest. I had an interesting conversation with a client. Let’s call her “Kathy”. We have been working over the course of the last few months to help her make major changes in her professional life. Her desire is to move from a typical office job to a job where she feels passionate about the mission of the organization she’s working for.

Kathy understands that moving from her law office job to a non-profit will mean a cut in pay. She’s fine with that. The problem is she has some debt she feels she needs to eliminate before she can make the transition to a lower paying job.

Over the first part of her phone session we did some work on these issues. Among these were feelings of frustration because she wants to progress more quickly towards this goal. Somewhere in the middle of the tapping, Kathy mentioned that her parents had offered to help her with her debt and she had refused their offer.

I said, “Wait a minute! We’ve been doing all this work on how you can move to a new place in your life. We’ve doing work on how you can clear out all the obstacles to get you to a place where you can do what you love. A major gift which could help you do this showed up, and you said, ‘No.’ That is interesting.”

[Side Note:I would like to point out that this wasn't an accusation or a condemnation of the choice she made. It was something that I found “interesting” because when find that we make choices in opposition to the things we desire, something else is at play. When we make these choices and name them, it’s evidence we’re uncovering more issues we can work on.]

This is a clear case of someone getting wrapped up in what is the appropriate way to get what they want.

As we poked around it became very clear that Kathy had the two following limiting beliefs:

  • Success is only possible/deserved when I work hard for it
  • I have already taken so much form my patents I can't take any more

These limiting beliefs are not unique to Kathy. A number of times I have myself felt that success could only come in very limited ways. Such beliefs prevent abundance in our lives.

For this reason I have added the following to my tapping when I tap about changes I would like to see in my own life. (In this case I am talking about all types of change, not just getting financial help.)

Bring chance into my life in unique ways…So I know that I am not the sole creator of this abundance…Help me to be open to whatever ways good things will come into my life…I don’t have to feel like I have earned everything in my life…It’s okay if good things come into my life in easy ways…When good things come easier it will make it easier for me to share those good things with others…Progress and evolution don’t have to be hard…When I help others out, I don’t make them earn it…It’s okay for others to help me without me earning it…By letting other people help me I give them a chance to be loving…If I turn down their gifts I block them from an opportunity to show love for me…Keep my eyes open today to unique ways the universe brings me blessings…What matters is the change I want to make in my life…The path I take for that change is less important…Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving…Thank you for the constant flow of blessings in my life…I give myself permission to be open to these blessings in whatever form they come today…I don’t have to earn these blessings…It’s okay if it’s easy…I am thankful for those who want to bring blessings into my life…I forgive myself for the times I have blocked blessings in the past…Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving

Seeing Yourself as an Expert

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I am very passionate about EFT and have seen results for myself and my clients, but for some reason I still struggle with my confidence in feeling I am really good at what I’m doing. I have gotten extensive training for EFT, so it’s not a matter of being a beginner. Any tips?

[This guest article is by AnaMaria Herrera, also known as “Agent EFT.” AnaMaria specializes in helping business owners and professionals reach their goals with ease using what she calls “Your Secret Weapon”: EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques. To learn how you can reach your personal and professional goals with greater ease, check out: YourSecretWeaponForSuccess.com]

This is a common dilemma! Did you know the challenge of believing you’re an expert crops up in seasoned entrepreneurs as well as in new business owners? It can be experienced as ‘not feeling I am good enough (an expert) yet.’ The result? Not ‘playing a bigger game’: leading tele-seminars, creating an information product or approaching a joint venture partner, raising your rates and setting the prices you deserve.

What to do? Bring out your Secret Weapon (EFT) and remove the limiting beliefs, of course!

Here are some suggestions.

Set up statement:

Even though I don’t feel like an expert, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway….Even though I feel I need much more training, clients, etc. before claiming I am an expert, I am choosing to remain calm and confident…Even though I feel intimidated by others in my field who are more successful than I am (or who have been doing this much longer, are better looking, can speak better, etc.) I accept my feelings and my fears…Even though I can’t seem to stop comparing myself to others, I completely accept myself and this habit. [How to use these tapping phrases]

Of course if common sense is warranting more training in doing your expertise, EFT does not replace that need for further training in EFT. Instead it takes away the emotional charge and judgment that we ‘are not good enough yet.’ So if the matter is getting more training, by all means seek this out.

As always with EFT, modify the words to fit your feelings/beliefs. Remember our feelings come from our thoughts and beliefs. So once we shift any doubts or negative beliefs to positive, empowering ones we become completely aligned (and unstoppable) in our business!