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Pod #299: Setting Intentions In The New Year w/ EFT

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The beginning of a new year provides a great opportunity to reset and refocus.

Even though I am not the biggest fan of New Year's resolutions, I have found a way to make a small commitment to tapping each day that is making huge changes in the way that I behave and feel.

In this audio I share with you how I have used tapping for a simple intention at the beginning of my day to create this change.

The reason I love this process so much is because it doesn't require a complicated plan. It simply unfolds right in front of you, day by day.

This recording is of me doing the process to start the new year.

You will also find the tapping script I used below the audio player.

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My intention is to have a more generous spirit…Because when I have a more generous spirit…It helps me to be fully present throughout my day…It helps me to be truly connected to the people around me…It allows me to be the type of person I want to be in the world…There is a part of me that is worried…That if I am too generous…Then I will lose all of my boundaries…That if I'm too generous…People are going to take advantage of me…That if I am too generous…I'm going to lose myself in the service of others…Because I'm simply going to give it all away…My intention for today is to find opportunities to have a more generous spirit in a way that is healthy for me.

My intention is to find my way to more peace and calm…In the middle of a busy life and my very busy day…Because when I tune in and find peace and calm…I am much more aware of my full presence…I am not running on autopilot…I am more grounded in my body…I am worried that if I slow down…I'm not going to get enough done…I'm going to fall behind…I'm going to miss opportunities…I recognize the fact that when I am peaceful…I respond better and end up with what I truly want…My intention for today is to be open to finding my way to moments of peace and calm.

My intention is to be open to new opportunities…To find inspiration and ideas in unexpected places…Because I know that when I am on autopilot…I am missing new opportunities…I am missing out on grace…There is a part of me that is afraid that I will be distracted by new ideas…That I'm going to chase thousands of new ideas…And never actually get anything done…I appreciate the fact that my system is trying to keep me safe in this way…I appreciate the fact that it's trying not to be distracted…But I know that there are answers all around…there are opportunities all around…That are not distractions…But instead will make my life better…My intention is to be open to opportunity and inspiration as it shows up today.

Pod #298: The Art Of Love w/ Jake Khym

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Recently my friend Jake Khym was being interviewed on a podcast and he brought up the idea of “the art of love.” He talked about how being loving is a not only a skill, but a skill at which we can get better.

There wasn’t the time in that particular interview for him to go into detail about this idea, but I was fascinated and needed to hear more.

So this week's podcast is exactly that. Jake takes the time to explain how he approaches love as a skill, the four parts of the skill that we can improve, and specifically how we can improve at loving.

I know this topic isn't exactly about tapping, but most people are drawn to tapping because they want to live a fuller and richer life. Being better at loving is one of the ways to improve our lives AND the skilled tapper will find a number of tappable issues related to the conversation.

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Jake Khym (w/ wife Heather)

Guest: Jake Khym, BA, MA, RCC, CCC

Contact: web @ Life Restoration; twitter @jakekhym

About Jake: Jake offers inspiring and practical presentations throughout North America on many topics including the practical application of Christian psychology. Jake holds a BA in Theology and a Masters in Counselling Psychology. After working for almost 10 years in lay ministry, Jake has his own counselling practice and co-directs Life Restoration, a Catholic ministry offering restoration through counselling, workshops, and conferences. Jake and his wife Heather with their three children, Maria, Judah, and Eva, live in British Columbia, Canada.

Pod #297: Step-By-Step Process To Reach Your Goals With EFT w/ Kris Ferraro

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One of my favorite ways to use tapping is to remove whatever is standing in the way of taking action towards creating the life we desire.

In this conversation with my friend Kris Ferraro, we go through a simple step-by-step process she has created to help you get clarity about what you want, how to identify the emotional blocks you have to taking action, and how to tap for those blocks.

Kris has also created a handout you can use to follow the process. Download it here.

Interview with Linda Woods mentioned by Kris.


Kris Ferraro

Guest: Kris Ferraro

Contact: web @ KrisFerraro.com; email @ me@krisferraro.com

About: Kris Ferraro is an Energy Coach, Author, and Speaker based in northern NJ. She is the creator of Spiritual Freedom Techniques, a series of practices that combine ancient wisdom with EFT for transformation. Kris is a “true believer” in everyone's innate ability to heal. She helps clients release their debilitating emotional patterns so they can step into their power and purpose. Her book, “Energy Healing: Simple and Effective Practices to Become Your Own Healer”, published by St. Martin's Press, introduces energy psychology to new audiences.

Pod #296: EFT For Getting Clear About Our Calling w/ Gregg Levoy

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Tapping for pain and distress is easy. You can name exactly what is wrong (the pain) and you have a clear idea of what you want (relief).

Tapping to create a life that we love can be a little bit tricker because we are often unsure of exactly what we want that life to be like. My friend Gregg Levoy refers to this idea of creating the life we were made for as a calling, as if our soul is calling us towards fulfilment. Once we have a clear idea of our calling, we can use tapping to help us work towards it.

In this conversation Gregg and I talk about what exactly a calling is and how to get clarity about it in your own life. In addition, I have added four easy ways in which you can use tapping to gain clarity about your calling by clearing the blocks standing in the way of taking positive action.

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Gregg Levoy

Guest: Gregg Levoy

Contact: web @ GreggLevoy.com

About Gregg: Gregg Levoy is the author of Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passion, and the bestselling Callings: Finding and Following An Authentic Life rated among the “Top 20 Career Publications” by the Workforce Information Group.

He has presented lectures and seminars for the Smithsonian Institution, Environmental Protection Agency, Microsoft, National Conference on Positive Aging, American Counseling Association, National Career Development Association, and others, and been a frequent guest of the media, including ABC-TV, CNN, NPR and PBS.

A former adjunct professor of journalism at the University of New Mexico, and former columnist and reporter for USA Today and the Cincinnati Enquirer, he has written for the New York Times Magazine, Washington Post, Omni, Psychology Today, Reader’s Digest, and many others.

Tapping scripts from the podcast

Being open to inspiration:

I give myself permission to be open to inspiration…To hear calling…In big and small ways…I give myself permission to hear this calling in ways that are unexpected…In ways that are even wacky…Because I know I have access to the information to lead myself by the right path…This does not mean I expect the next seventy five years of my life to show up with clear instruction in the next four and a half minutes…I know that this inspiration will come in many forms…Sometimes obvious…Sometimes subtle…I give my system permission to know it is okay for me to feel a little overwhelmed…To feel uncertain…But knowing that…Inspiration can come…Inspiration will come…I give myself permission to respond to it.

Being open to questions, not just answers:

I am open to having answers…I am open to having clear information…But I recognize the fact sometimes my calling is going to show up as questions…It's not going to show up as clear answers…As much as I would like to have clear answers…It is okay if I get questions…Because when I am working with inspired questions…I'm going to find my way to unexpected answers…Sometimes inspiration is a process…It's not necessarily a straight line…I give myself permission to be open to the process…To be open to receiving questions…To be open to exploring questions without answers…Knowing full well that these questions can leave me on the right path.

Not needing answers for the long haul:

When I receive information…When I receive inspiration…When I'm in touch with my calling…I recognize the fact but this isn't necessarily my calling for the rest of my life…This isn't who I am supposed to be forever…This isn't what I'm supposed to do forever…Instead it is information for today…Information that's going to help me to craft tomorrow…Information that's going to move me forward in the near-term…It is possible that I could be called to this for the rest of my life…It is possible that this is much more short-term…I give myself permission to trust myself…To trust the process…Engaging with my inspiration…Knowing I will be soon inspired again.

Beating ourselves up for not having answers sooner:

When I encounter insight…When I encounter clarity…When I'm in touch with what I should do and who I should be…It can feel obvious…Because it's strike such a deep chord with who I am…How I want to be…When this happens it's really easy to beat myself up for not discovering this sooner…For not being open sooner…Not being ready sooner…But I recognize the fact that this is all part of the process…It might be obvious now…But it took what came before for it to become obvious now…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…For beating myself up…For not figuring it out sooner…The only thing that matters in this moment is what I choose to do in this moment…In response to this inspiration…I forgive myself for not figuring this out sooner…I give myself permission to be gentle with myself…For not getting here faster…I trust this process…Now is the right time for me to be here…I choose to be in this moment and not look back…I choose to create the next moment and not look back…Now is the right time.

Pod #295: What To Do When You Don’t Know Where To Start w/ Gwyneth Moss

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One the main reasons that we don't do the tapping we know would be useful is that we don't know where to begin. We have a general idea that something isn't right, but we can't quite put our finger on it. When we are in this situation tapping feels like a giant waste of time.

This week I have a conversation with EFT Founding Master Gwyneth Moss about what to do when we don't know what to tap on or where to start. If you follow her simple advice, you will make great progress with your tapping!

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Gwyneth Moss

Guest: Gwyneth Moss

Contact: web @ EFThelps.com; email @ contact form; web @ Annual EFT Gathering

About Gwyneth: Gwyneth Moss is one of the original EFT Masters and the founder of the EFT Gathering annual community conference which has run since 2009.  With a degree in Physics and an MBA she is known for the clarity and depth of her teaching style and for her innovative techniques which include EFT Imagineering; Protective Distancing; Projection Tapping; The Surrogate EFT Protocol and more. Gwyneth teaches EFT in the glorious countryside of Yorkshire and at Esalen, Big Sur, CA.

Pod #294: EFT for Clarity w/ Carol Look

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Taking action can be very difficult when we aren't exactly sure of our direction or what we think should be happening next. The problem is that it is hard to tap for clarity because we aren’t trying to remove a feeling of discomfort or a block that is in the way. We are just missing something we want.

In this conversation with EFT Master Carol Look we talk about how to tap for more clarity and its power. We even do a little tapping for clarity in the interview, which makes taking action much easier.

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Guest: Dr. Carol Look

Contact: web @ CarolLook.com; twitter @CarolLookEFT;

About Carol: A pioneer in the Energy Psychology field, Dr. Carol Look has brought unprecedented innovations to the application of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), and has produced outstanding results for her clients around the world.

Don’t forget to check out all of Carol's other podcast interviews

Pod #293: What is the best way to tap?

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Almost daily I receive an email asking something along the lines of, “What is the best way to tap for [insert issue]?”

It’s great that people are looking for the most effect ways to clear an issue, but sometimes I think this question can be problematic.

In this audio I explore the question of the best way to tap. What I share here will help even the most experienced tapper to tap in a more effective way.

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Pod #292: How We Inherit Trauma Genetically w/ Mark Wolynn

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When working with my clients one-on-one, we usually spend a lot of time tapping for the world views and beliefs that have been passed along from parents. It makes good sense that we pick up the beliefs of our parents because they are usually our closest relationships.

Mark Wolynn's work looks at how we inherit our parents’ beliefs, not through the day-to-day of living with them, but genetically as a result of the trauma experienced by past generations.

This idea emerged just over a decade ago and there is now a large body of scientific evidence in support of it.

In the interview Mark explains how trauma is passed on genetically in our DNA, how we can identify the traumas that have been passed down, and what we can do to clear them.

If you find this topic interesting, check out Mark's book “IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle”, which contains a much more comprehensive conversation on how you can identify and clear inherited traumas.

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Mark Wolynn

Guest: Mark Wolynn

Contact: web @ MarkWolynn.com; facebook @ Mark Wolynn

About: Mark Wolynn, director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. A sought-after lecturer, he has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center, and The California Institute of Integral Studies. Mark specializes in working with depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, fears, panic disorders, self-injury, chronic pain and persistent symptoms and conditions. His book IT DIDN’T START WITH YOU: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle (Viking/Penguin) is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal, and Psych Central.

Pod #291: EFT Before, During, and After a Catastrophe w/ Gwenn Bonnell

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EFT and tapping are powerful tools in the face of strong emotions in the moment. It is amazing how quickly we can feel better just by tapping without words as we are experiencing difficult or overwhelming feelings.

Some events are so big, however, that they bring emotions that need be dealt with both before and afterwards and for these a more strategic plan is needed.

Recently, Gwenn Bonnell and her family lived through a major hurricane. Knowing that the hurricane was coming meant they had to deal with the anxiety of the unknown ahead of time. They then lived through it and also had to deal with the aftermath.

In this conversation Gwen talks about how she tapped before, during, and after the hurricane. The tools she shares can be used for anything that uproots your life either directly (like a natural disaster) or indirectly (a mass shooting in another part of the world).

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[28m30s]

Guest: Gwenn Bonnell

Contact Gwenn: web @ TapIntoHeaven.com; web @  TapAwayPain.com; email @ gwenn@tapintoheaven.com; phone @ 954 370 1552

About Gwenn: Gwenn is a writer, teacher and lecturer. She offers private sessions and training and workshops at Heaven On Earth in Davie, Florida. A graduate of the College of Health and Human Development, Penn State University, she is a member of ACEP, the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology, and has trained personally with Gary Craig (developer of EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques), Dr. Larry Nims (BSFF, Be Set Free Fast), Tapas Fleming (TAT, Tapas Acupressure Techniques), Donna Eden and David Feinstein (Energy Medicine), Sandi Radomski (Allergy Antidotes), Alan Handelsman (Muscle Testing), Paul Burdelski (Touch for Health), and Piilani (Huna Kane).

Pod #290: Update on The Latest Scientific Research About EFT w/ Dr. Peta Stapleton

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Back in April I talked with Dr. Peta Stapleton about the scientific research that she has done over the last decade on the efficacy of tapping.

In our last interview Peta talked about how she and her team had just been given access to an fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) machine for their research. Using an fMRI machine allows them to see the impact that tapping and EFT have on the brain.

In this interview we get an update on how they are using the fMRI machine, what they have learned so far, and what they will be testing in the future.

Make sure you check out our original conversation about the research around tapping. Also, at the bottom of this page you will find links to many of the scientific papers that Peta has published with evidence that tapping works.

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[21m45s]


Dr. Peta Stapleton

Guest: Dr. Peta Stapleton

Contact: web @ PetaStapleton.com/; twitter @PetaStapleton; instagram @petastapleton

About: Dr. Peta Stapleton has 22 years of experience as a registered Clinical and Health Psychologist in the State of Queensland, Australia and has completed a Bachelor of Arts, Postgraduate Diploma of Professional Psychology and Doctor of Philosophy. Peta held academic positions at Griffith University for 14 years, teaching and coordinating psychological research trials into new therapies in the area of obesity and weight management and is now Associate Professor in Psychology at Bond University.
Peta regularly contributes to the academic field with publications in the areas of nursing, morale, communication, psychological interventions and eating disorders. She regularly reviews for academic journals and offers supervision for new and existing Psychologists as well as students.

Here is a list of published research papers which Peta has authored or co-authored about EFT:

All interviews with Dr. Peta Stapelton:

Pod #289: Combining mBraining with EFT w/ Andy Bryce

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It is a little known fact that there are approximately 40,000 neurons in the human heart and around 500 million in our stomachs. Together these neurons are sometimes referred to as “little brains”. The heart and stomach are connected to each other and to our brains via the vagus nerve. 80% of the information traveling on this path goes from the stomach and heart to the brain.

This means that a huge amount of information comes from the neurons of the stomach and heart to the brain, helping us to make choices all day long.

On some level we already know this because we use phrases like “I have this gut feeling that…” or “My heart is tell me to…”

The process of mBraining uses this information in a deliberate way to create healing and transformation. Andy Bryce and his wife Maxine are certified in mBraining and are the first people in the world to combine it with tapping.

In this interview Andy talks about mBraining, how it can be combined with tapping, and he gives a demonstration where he works with me on an issue I am struggling with.

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Andy Bryce

Guest: Andy Bryce

Contact: Web @ TappingThrough.com; Email @ andy@tappingthrough.com; Twitter  @eftandybryce; Facebook @ EFTAndyBryce

About Andy: Andy Bryce has been working with personal growth, well being and emotional resilience for over thirty years. For the last seventeen years, his primary toolkit has been Emotional Freedom Techniques. In 2006, Andy was certified as one of only 30 EFT Master Practitioners worldwide. Andy is also a certified mBraining Coach and P.E.T. practitioner.

Andy is a past Director of Training for AAMET, and has trained EFT practitioners in Belgium, France, Canada, USA, Mexico, Australia, Italy, Greece, South Africa and the UK as a Trainer of Trainers.

Pod #288: EFT For Business Mindset w/ Pamela Bruner

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My friend Pamela Bruner often says that “Small business ownership is the master's degree of personal development.” The reason she says this is because when we own a business, we are constantly being pushed to do tasks that make us uncomfortable. And because we are constantly in these situations, we have many opportunities to lean head on into the underlying issues that hold us back from taking action.

Pamela is a firm believer that mindset work is essential and fundamental to being successful in business.

In this conversation we talk about the most common mindset issues experienced by small business owners, and the easiest ways to address them with tapping.

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           Pamela Bruner

Guest: Pamela Bruner

Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessReal.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, facebook @ MakeYourSuccessEasy;
phone @ 888-403-4057

About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Business Success Coach, author, speaker, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) expert. After removing her own marketing fears to grow her business from \(375/month to a \)1,000,000 in less than three years, Pamela specializes in working with conscious entrepreneurs to build six- and seven-figure businesses by removing their fears and blocks around marketing and sales. She is co-author of ‘EFT and Beyond – Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation', and is the co-author of the book and DVD ‘Tapping into Ultimate Success’ with Jack Canfield, author of ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul'.

Tap Along Audio: EFT For Emotions In The Wake Of Tragedy

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This tap-along audio and tapping scripts were originally created in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. They were created in a way that could be used for any tragedy.

Any tragedy this unexpected can leave us feeling very vulnerable because we recognize that there are so many things in the world beyond our control. When we are in the middle of this kind of experience we see the same images over and over again. It almost feels like they are being burned into our retinas and engraved in our minds.

There are two tapping sequences in this audio. The first is for dealing with the emotion of the tragedy. The second is for dealing with the tv images that we have seen over and over again. The scrips are typed out below the audio so you can print them out and take them with you.

It's really hard when we see tragedy…Especially tragedy of such a nature…Things that we don't expect…That come out of nowhere…That really take us off guard…They can really shake us to our core…Because they are so unexpected…They take us to a place where we feel like everything is out of control…It shines a light on on how incredibly random the world can be…How little we really control…We recognize this…When we recognize how little control we have…It can make day to day really hard…Because it simply feels like the world is acting on us…If we are lucky we will get through it unscathed…Part of us believes that this is only a matter of luck…Part of us believes that something bad could happen at any moment…It is true that the world is an unsafe place…It is true that there are things that can happen in an unexpected way…It's true that we don't have as much control as we would like to think…Just because we don't control everything doesn't mean that our life is out of control…Just because there are things that can hurt us does it mean that we are in danger of being hurt every single moment…We are more aware than we think of the danger around us…We are continually making choices to keep us safe…When things don't go perfectly or when things go wrong…We have the facilities and the skills to respond…Today is a new day…With unknown things coming at me…I give myself permission to recognize that I can respond to whatever comes my way…I always control my response…I always control my thoughts…I always control my emotions…Which gives me the opportunity to whatever comes…Even if it's not accepted…Even if it is tragic.

Over the last few days I've seen lots of horrific images…Some of those images I have seen over and over again…They feel like they're burned into my retinas and they feel like they are burned into my consciousness…That I will constantly be reminded of them…When I see a flashing light or I hear a loud bang…All of these images are going to come rushing back…I give myself permission to release and let go…I give myself permission to know I don't have to hold on to these images…I am aware of this type of danger…I know what I need to do to be safe…Holding on to these images are not going to keep me any safer…Re-remembering these images over and over again are not going to make me any safer…I give myself and I give my whole system permission to release and let go…I give myself permission to know that I can let go of these images and still be safe…I can let go of these images and still be aware of what's around me…I can let go of these images and be safe.

Pod #287: Why We Struggle With Being Easy And Gentle With Ourselves

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One of the phrases that my clients find hardest to use in their tapping is, “I give myself permission to be easy and gentle with myself”.

The reason they find it difficult is because it feels as if it’s giving themselves permission to do less work, not to try, or to be satisfied with something that is less than.

Recently I had conversation with one of my clients who reported struggling with using that phrase, even though she recognized it would be useful.

Below is the recording of that conversation, used with her permission.

In the conversation we cover why it is useful to use the phrase and the many reasons why we resist doing so, as well as how we can position ourselves for great healing by tapping with the phrase.

As an added bonus, you have the opportunity to hear me working one-on-one with a client in real time, which I hope you will find instructional.

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Pod #286: EFT For Self Medicating Behaviors w/ Manal Khalife

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It is amazing how effective our system is at finding ways to feel better. When something is wrong (even when we aren't consciously aware of it), the system starts to take steps to feel better.

The problem is that our system is geared to react with short term solutions. Its only concern is to stop the discomfort right now, so it isn't motivated to make good long term choices.

For example, when I am highly stressed I start to crave ice cream (particularly cookies and cream flavor). When I eat the ice creamy goodness, my body is flooded with all the biochemicals that come along with digesting a lot of  sugar.

In the short term, I stop feeling overwhelmed. If I keep making these choices in the long term, it becomes very unhealthy.

In this conversation with Manal Khalife we talk about why we make self-medicating choices, the surprising types of self-medicating choices we can make, and how we can stop them.

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Manal Khalife
Manal Khalife

Guest: Manal Khalife

Contact: Web @ ManalKhalife.com/; twiter @ iammanalk; facebook @ iammanalk;

Book: Food, Drugs & Love: How to Stop Escaping & Start Living

About: Manal Khalife is a Stress and Emotions Coach, helping women who want to learn how to handle stress, let go of emotional pain, make peace with past experiences, and move forward with confidence. She specializes in working with postpartum depression.

Pod #285: EFT For Money Mindset w/ Brad Yates

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Dealing with money is a fact of life. We can't live without it. In the best of all possible worlds money would be perceived just as a tool that helps us to fulfill our daily needs.

The problem is that on an emotional level we don't perceive money as simply a tool. Instead, we write stories about ourselves in terms of our relationship with money.

Not having money can mean that we don’t feel worthy. If do have money, we feel like we are being greedy. It is as if we can't win. No matter how much money we do or don't have, we write a negative story about ourselves.

This week I have a conversation with Brad Yates about how we can uncover the past experiences responsible for the conscious and unconscious stories we tell around money. We also talk about the first steps we can take to tap for these stories.

Join Brad and myself at Uncomplicate Your Relationship With Money this November in Orlando.

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Brad Yates

Guest: Brad Yates

Contact: twitter @EFTWizard; web @ TapWithBrad.com; facebook @ facebook.com/BradYatesTapping

About Brad: Brad has had the privilege and pleasure of working with a diverse group of clients, from CEOs to professional and NCAA athletes, from chiropractors and psychiatrists to corporate and federal attorneys, from award-winning actors to residents at a program for homeless men and women in Santa Monica. For several years he taught a weekly class using EFT and guided imagery at Sacramento Drug Court. He has also been a presenter at a number of events, including several International Energy Psychology Conferences and the Walk On Water (WOW) Fest in Los Angeles. He has presented at Jack Canfield's Breakthrough to Success event, and has done teleseminars with “The Secret” stars Bob Doyle and Dr. Joe Vitale. He is also the co-author of the best-seller “Freedom at Your Fingertips,” a featured expert in the film “Try It On Everything” (along with Jack Canfield, Bob Proctor, Dr. Norman Shealy and Dr. Bruce Lipton), and has been heard internationally on a number of internet radio talk shows.

Pod #284: EFT For Caregivers Who Struggle With Self-Care and Money w/ Melissa Lester, LCSW

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If you have been around the self-help world for any amount of time, it won’t surprise you to hear that caregivers are notoriously poor at taking good care of themselves.

What might be surprising is that one of the areas where this lack of self-care shows up is the way in which caregivers struggle with money.

In this conversation with Melissa Lester we talk about why caregivers struggle with self-care, how it affects their relationship to money, and what we can do about it.

Melissa is one of the hosts of the event Improve Your Relationship With Money which is taking place in November in Orlando. I am going to be one of the speakers at the event and I would love to see you there. Full details.

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Guest: Melissa Lester, LCSW

Contact:* Web @ melissalesterlcsw.com; Email @ here; Phone @ 770-313-7768;

Bio: Melissa Lester is a therapist and EFT Practitioner in Atlanta, GA. Melissa specializes in working with women issues especially Binge Eating Disorder, LGBTQ Issues, Coming Out Later in Life, Family of Origin issues, Relationship issues, Anxiety, Depression and Stress.

Pod #283: The 3 Reasons Why Our Loved Ones Don’t Want Us To Change

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I might seem counter intuitive, but there are three good reasons to why our loved ones don't want us to heal and transform. This can even be true for the people in our lives who are vocally supportive of us.

In most cases this lack of support from our loved ones is happening on a subconscious level.

This week in the podcast I talk about the three reasons why our loved ones don't want us to change and I provide a tap along audio for each of the reasons.

You can also find the tapping scripts written out below the audio player. (Did you know that you can take many of the tapping script with you through the free Tapping Q&A app? Download it here: Apple App | Google/Android App)

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I recognize the fact that as I change. As I transform. As I heal. As I move forward. My transformation impacts the people around me because we are connected. We are interdependent. Just because my transformation impacts others it does not mean I need to stand still. That I need to stay static. Because the world isn't static. The world is not staying the same. It only feels that way. I give myself permission to pursue transformation. To work towards healing. In an intentional and a deliberate way.

It is okay for me to make choices in the world that impact the people around me. Because the people around me are being impacted by me no matter what I do. They're going to be times in which loved ones feel subconsciously that my transformation is pointing out and heightening the discomfort in their own life. When they see me having better. When they see me healing. When they see me transformed. They might be reminded of the things that they are not happy within their own life. This might cause them to push back on my transformation. To undermine my healing. Just because they recognize the pain in their life. This does not mean I am responsible for the pain in their life. This does not mean I have caused the pain in their life. This does not mean I have to stop my transformation. They are responsible for their emotional state and I give myself permission to keep healing. Regardless how they see themselves.

It is also possible for the people around me to be jealous of my transformation. Because they are not having the same type of healing. They might even be putting in effort. They might even be working really hard. Not make the progress that I am making. Because of this they are jealous of my progress. I recognize the fact my healing is not undermining their healing. My transformation is not undermining their transformation. It simply means that I am transforming and I am healing at a rate that is faster than them. They can choose to be jealous if they like. But they are responsible for that jealousy. I give myself permission to trust myself. To know this healing path is right regardless how it relates to someone else's healing path. This process of healing that I am engaged in means and I am changing. Means that I am transforming.

When I transform one part of my life it often impacts many parts of my life. When I change it is possible for many of my relationships to change as well. There are people who aren't going to be happy with our relationships changing. Because they want their life to be predictable. They want their life to be the same. They want things to move forward in a consistent way. I can appreciate their desire for predictability. But the world is actually changing all of the time. Relationships are evolving all of the time. I give myself permission to recognize the fact I am not responsible for others transformation. I am allowed to change. I give myself permission to know that when people are frustrated with my transformation regardless of the reason it is about them and how they see the world. It is not about me. It is not about my right to transform. It is not about how I'm moving through the world. It is about their interpretation. I give myself permission to keep healing. To keep transforming. To keep evolving. Regardless what the people around me think. My transformation is about me. My transformation is about my life. My transformation is about how I move forward. I give myself permission to trust myself in this transformation. To know my transformation and healing is not only good for me but it is good for everyone.

Pod #282: EFT For Feeling Bad For Wanting More AND Feeling Bad For Not Having More

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Desire can be a double-edged sword.

When we want something that we don't have and see others with it, we feel left out. Sometimes we even feel as if we are not as worthy or not as valuable as others because they have it and we don't.

On the other hand, we can also feel bad for having desires at all, beating ourselves up for seeming ungrateful or unappreciative for what we do have.

What I find most amazing is the fact that we can feel both of these emotions at the same time. We can feel bad for not having what we want AND we can feel bad for wanting more.

This week I have a tap-along audio and script to respond to both ends of the emotional struggle with desire.

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I have desires…I have goals…There are things that I want to have to be better…There are parts of my life I would like to transform…There are things in my life that I would like to heal…But I have a lot of emotional baggage around desire…Part of me feels bad because I have desires…Part of me feels bad because I want more…My desire feels selfish…My desire feels greedy…Because even though my life isn't perfect…I still have more than many…If I want more…It means that I am ungrateful…It means that I am unappreciative…It means I am being selfish…Because if I were truly thankful I would appreciate what I have and not want more…I give myself permission to know I can be grateful for what I have and still want to have more…I can appreciate where I am and want to make changes…Wanting more is not selfish…Wanting better is not greedy…It is possible for me to want more…It is possible for me to have more…Without robbing others of opportunity…Without robbing others of what they need…Improving my own life is not detrimental to others…Improving my own life gives me the opportunity to lift others up as well…Desiring more is safe…Wanting more is healthy…Lifting myself up can lift others up…Improving my status is not greedy…

Desire can also be painful…Because it points out what I don't have…It points out what I have not achieved…There is a part of me that interprets this lack as a failing…There is a part of me that interprets the lack as a judgement…Lack says that I am unworthy…Lack says that I am not good enough…Lack says that I am failing…Because if I were good enough…I would have already achieved it…If I were worthy of success…I would have success…Seeing others with success tells me they are good enough and I am not…Tells me they are valuable and I am not…I give myself permission to know it is possible for me to evolve to being able to recognize the fact that not achieving is not a statement on my worth…That not having is not a statement on my value…It is simply a statement of where I am in this moment…It is simply a statement of the process that I am in…I give myself permission to embrace the fact that this is a process that is unfolding in a gentle natural way…That is allowing me to achieve…My current status is not a statement on who I am…My lack of achievement is not a statement on what I can be…Where I am is simply a statement of where I am…In this spot I am worthy…In this spot I am whole…I am capable of more…I can work towards more…I appreciate where I am in this moment…I give myself permission to continue to have desires…To use my desires as a motivation…As I continue to move forward…As I continue to evolve…In big and small ways.

Pod #281: EFT For Dread

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Tapping for negative past experiences is often the easiest kind of tapping because we know the details of the past experience. While tapping we have the opportunity to state exactly what happened, how we interpret those events, how we felt about them back then, and how we feel now.

No matter how long we have to tap to find relief, the tapping itself is straightforward.

Tapping for the emotion of dread can be much less straightforward. Dread is a worry about the future and, since the future is unknown, it is much harder to find specific details to tap for.

Here is a tap-along audio and tapping script to help you to tap for dread. I recorded the audio while I was in the grip of feeling dread myself, so you have the opportunity to experience the way I tap when dealing with an issue firsthand.

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There is a deep feeling of dread…That is encompassing my entire body…Because it is dread there is no specific focal point…There's no specific place that lives in my body…There is no epicenter to the pain…Even when I have a sense with the dread is and what it is about I don't know what that is in detail…Which makes tapping for this emotion really hard…I give myself permission to know that it is okay to tap…It is effective to tap…Even when I don't know exactly what I'm focusing on…Because of what is going on around me and because of the things outside of my control…My system is feeling a sense of dread…It's feeling a sense of hopelessness…Things are bad…Or are going to continue to be bad…Or are going to get worse…I appreciate the fact of my system is pointing this out…I am fully aware of what is going wrong…I am fully aware of what might go wrong…My system has done its job…I give the dread permission to release…Because I am aware of what it is trying to point out…Letting go of the dread is not saying the current situation is okay…Letting go of the dread is not me giving up my power to take action…Letting go of the dread he's not giving up…Instead by releasing the dread it puts me in a position to take action…It puts me in a position to move forward…It allows me to regain my control…Not control over everything…But control over me…Control over the small actions I can take…Control over the kindness that I can share…Control over being able to be present in this moment…Not ignoring what is going on…But instead not being debilitated by what is going on…Even when it feels hopeless…Even when it feels overwhelming…I give myself permission to allow myself to move forward…In This Moment, being a positive agent of change…That does not mean it is easy…That does not mean it is fun…That does not mean it is pain-free…It means that I am in a situation where I can control this moment in controlling how I respond…I am glad my system is recognizing things that are troubling…I appreciate my systems pointing out things that are difficult for my system to overcome the dread has done its job…It can release…It can let go…So I can move forward.