Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

Using The Ways Others Aggravate Us As A Tool To Self-Healing

by

Here is a tweet that I love: @robpurdie i am the things i don’t like about other people.

Sometimes this is a really hard fact to admit, but I know in my own life it is true. When I am really bent out of shape by someone else’s actions it is providing me an opportunity to take a look at myself.

Here is a simple exercise that I use from time to time. I wish I could remember where I learned it form. For this activity you will need a sheet of paper divided into three columns.

1) Who are you frustrated with and why?
In the first column make a list of the people who are frustrating you and why they are frustrating:

Jane only talks about herself
Bill is always late
Sam doesn’t realize how easy he has it
Jill picks on other behind their back
…

2) Write a statement of forgiveness
In the second column write a sentence that is forgiving of them.

Jane only talks about herself I forgive Jane for only talking about herself
Bill is always late I forgive Bill for always being late
Sam doesn’t realize how easy he has it I forgive Sam for not realizing how easy he has it.
Jill picks on other behind their back I forgive Jill for picking on others
… …

3) Change the forgiveness statement about yourself

Jane only talks about herself I forgive Jane for only talking about herself I forgive myself for only talking about myself
Bill is always late I forgive Bill for always being late I forgive myself for being late
Sam doesn’t realize how easy he has it I forgive Sam for not realizing how easy he has it. I forgive myself for not realizing how good I have it
Jill picks on other behind their I forgive Jill for picking on others I forgive myself for picking on others
… … …

4) Look at the third column for a starting point for tapping.
Each of the statements in the third column are great set-up statements. Now, each of them might not apply to you, but be honest. You might be surprised in what you discover.

Our Relationships Around Food (7 of 10)

by

[Note: This is part 7 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]

photo by lfl

Much of the time we spend with loved ones food is present. It can be in the form of celebration, gift, or just mealtime with loved ones. Because food is present in so may different aspects of our relationships our relationship to food can get tangled up in our relationship to relationships.

Here are two examples:

Being Shown Love With Food
Food is literal nourishment and many times can be put into a place of metaphorical nourishment. I think the old wives tale is, “Feed a cold; starve a fever”. In my house growing up we always joked, “Feed a cold; feed a fever; feed a sprained ankle.”

When we are trying to make someone feel better, showing them sympathy for a loss, or celebrating something we show up with food. Because of this it can become very easy for us to equate food with love. The subconscious can make the connections that “Many times when there is food present people are showing me love and affections. Therefore, if I have food present I will have love and affection.”

You don’t have to have a post gradate degree in logic to see how wrong that statement is, but it can create a very powerful link in the subconscious mind. When this sort of link is created the body will crave food everything time it is feeling sad or lonely. It is no surprise that we call it comfort food.

Tapping for this might look like:

I know there are many times in my life where food has been a central element…food is present when we celebrate…when we grieve…when we care for each other…food is a wonderful way to show love and affection…just because I am doing this work does not mean that I am going to stop using food as one expression of love…and it does not mean that I am going to stop accepting food as others expression of love…but food does not equal love…food is not the same as love…when I eat food I am not going to find love…love and food can be present at the same time…food can be an expression of love…food is not love…food does not equal love…it is good my system is seeking love…I need love…but I am not going to find it in food…right now I am going to speak to the part of me that thinks food equals love…thank you for wanting more love in my life…i want more love in my life as well…but I am not going to get that love by having food…there are time that when people love me they bring food…but food and love are not the same thing…right now I am going to think of three examples of what real love is…so you can see that love has many form…(tap as long as you need to as you think of these things)…thank you for trying to fill my life with love…I now ask that you help me fill my life in new ways

The Only Time We Get Together Is With Food
I grew up in a wonderful family. One of the rules in the house while growing up was that we ate dinner together. Even when my parents, my siblings, and myself we involved in school, community, church, and sporting activities we ate dinner together.

I am not sure what I thought about it at the time. I have a feeling I gave it little thought then. In hindsight it was a real blessing.

With that being said, it is very easy for the subconscious mind to take a feeling like that and twist it around. It can conclude, “If I serve a meal…then everyone will come around…and we can spend quality time together…and we will be a happy loving family.”

Again, there isn’t a straight line to this logic. Just because a family is gathering around a table doesn’t mean that it is doing it in a loving way. Not all families work the same way. For some families meal times were the most chaotic time because everyone had to be in the same place. By doing this we can cause two problems. First, we can be creating lots of extra meals we don’t need because we are trying to create connections. Second, when those connections don’t work out we can get stress or frustrated causing us to eat more.

In part 8 of this series we will look at the why we sabotage our own success.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #30: Keys For Marketing Mastery w/ Pamela Bruner

by

Most of us who have private practices or want private practices want to spend our time helping our clients. We don’t want to spend time marketing. Not because we don’t think marketing is important, but because we aren’t very good at it or even worse it is scary. In this podcast I talk to Pamela Bruner and we discover that not only do you need to be marketing for your own sake, but for your clients’ sake. We talk about the unique challenges that transformational entrepreneurs face in marketing their products and services. This is a must listen to if you have or would like your own practice.


Pamela Bruner

Guest: Pamela Bruner

Contact: web @ MakeYourSuccessReal.com, twitter @ PamelaBruner, facebook @ MakeYourSuccessEasy;
phone @ 888-403-4057

About Pamela: Pamela Bruner is a Business Success Coach, author, speaker, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) expert. After removing her own marketing fears to grow her business from $375/month to a $1,000,000 in less than 3 years, Pamela specializes in working with conscious entrepreneurs to build six-and seven-figure businesses by removing their fears and blocks around marketing and sales. She is co-author of ‘EFT and Beyond – Cutting Edge Techniques for Personal Transformation’, and is the co-author of the book and DVD ‘Tapping into Ultimate Success’ with Jack Canfield, author of ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’.

Resources from this episode:

Relationship To Food (6 of 10)

by

[Note: This is part 6 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Carl Carpenter

One of the places it is easiest to emotionally beat ourselves up is over the types of foods we are eating. There are days that we can feel great because we have eaten “good” food, while other days we can be emotionally distraught be cause we ate “bad” foods.

It can be a dangerous when we build our emotional state off of the types foods that we have eaten. Part of the problem is the fact that there are no such thing as good food and bad food. Food is nothing more than nourishment and energy that the body uses to help to power and maintain the body.

Now, it is true that some foods are better at doing these jobs than others, but it is not a simple cut a dry good and bad. Consider these examples:

  • foods that are good for one functions, but not another (protein is a great source of energy and building blocks for the body, but most froms of protein take time for the body to break down and if they are eaten in the evening they hinder necessary sleep)
  • foods that are good for one person, but not for another (I love nuts, but I have friends that could die from eating them)
  • foods that are good in one portion (eating few raisins is good, but 2lbs of raisins for lunch and I am not going to be leaving the

    • bathroom for hours)

Our worth, our value, and who we are going to become is not related to the food we eat. Food is a tool. As we talked in Dealing With Mindless Eating sometimes the food is serving another function than just providing nourishment and energy, but as a way to deal with emotions. Even here, even thought it is not being used for our betterment, it is still a tool.

By taking steps to eliminate mindless eating we are going to help change our emotional state about when we are eating. In addition to that step we also do some work improving our relationship the food that we are eating when we do eat and take the emotional charge away from that experience.

The tapping might look something like:

I have to eat food…food is necessary for me to stay alive…I need it to maintain and energize my body…i am very blessed to have some many different food options in my life…I live in a time and place in which I can choose foods not only because they help my body to function…but I also can choose food based off of what I enjoy eating…sometimes I am very hard on myself because of the foods I choose to know…I know there are foods that are better for me…but I choose food that is bad for me…I recognize the fact that there is no such thing as bad food…there are foods that might not provide as much nourishment as others…there are foods that are better for me at one time than another…there are some foods that are better for me in one amount, but not another…there are even foods that my body can’t process affectively and I should avoid…but none of this means that food is bad…food is not the enemy…I know I need to make good choices about the food I consume…but by understanding what food is…I am going to be less likely to be hard on myself when I eat “bad” food…my body knows the food that I need in every situation…there are times that I need fiber…or protein…or vitamins…or minerals…when I recognize that food is not the enemy…then I can trust my body to ask for the food that it needs in this moment…my body has the wisdom to ask for the needs that are needed to grown…maintain…and power the body…I give myself to trust my body to ask for the food it needs…to do this I need to be in tune with my body…which I can do…by doing this I will be more likely to eat the food the body needs for this moment in time…because this is a unique moment in time…and the body has unique needs…food is not the enemy…the goal is good choices…and I am not going to make the right choice every time…but we have a body that can handle that…I choose to see food as a tool…an enjoyable tool at times…but a tool…it is not good…or bad…food does not have a morality…there are foods that are more right for this moment…food is not bad.

In part 7 of this series we will look at our relationship to others in regard to food.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Top 9 Articles/Topics (UPDATE)

by

photo by La Famille Rapp

Over the lifetime of this web site I have been keeping a very close tab on the most frequently asked questions and the most popular articles about tapping/EvEFT. Here are nine common topics, most of which are based on conversations with clients and e-mails from readers, dealing with why Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping works, what a person can expect during the healing process, and how to improve one’s tapping practice. Please keep the questions coming.

* * * *

Why Do I Have To Tap?
When I share tapping with people the most common reaction is skepticism, which makes perfect sense. Based on their past experience it does seem unreasonable that tapping on their body would make more of a difference than thinking up new solutions. In this three-part series I explore why tapping is useful and often much more useful than brainstorming.

Why Do I Say Negative Phrases When Tapping?
One of the most common questions I get about tapping is about negative phrases. Clients are very worried that by focusing on the negative aspects they are going to reinforce them. When something is not right in our life we are going to focus on the negative aspects regardless because when we want better we notice what we would like to change. Tapping doesn’t reinforce these ideas, but uses them for transformation.

Why Do I Have A Hard Time Sitting Down To Tap?
Sometimes our desire to improve is not enough. We can resist our transformation in powerful ways. Here are some of the common reasons that we resist making the changes we want and need, as well as strategies to get past each type of resistance.

The Process Of Healing
There is a very specific process to how we heal. It often doesn’t happen all at once and when we understand this, it’s easier for us to recognize the progress we have made and to plan the next step. Acknowledging this progress in particular helps to keep us motivated to do the necessary work and move forward quickly.

What Is The Deal With Surrogate Tapping?
As strange as tapping seems, surrogate tapping seems even stranger. It doesn’t seem possible or reasonable that we can tap on ourself and see change in someone else. In these two resources we look at how it isn’t about us changing someone else, but how we can be an agent of change. This is very powerful stuff.

Using Information For Our Body To Find Core Issues
Just because we think we know the reason for our issues DOES NOT mean that we really know the reasons for our issues. Often we are wrong because we are too close to the situation or are simply misunderstanding the information. Our bodies, which are not hamstrung by our beliefs and misperceptions, frequently possess higher wisdom about our issues. The body simply knows what it is experiencing and we can leverage this information in our healing process. Here are a number of suggestions on how to tune into the body to access this knowledge.

Emotional Triggers
Everyone has something that sets him or her off. These emotional triggers are no surprise to us and often they are no surprise to our loved ones! In this three-part series we look at how we can deal with emotional triggers when they are activated. and then how to deactivate them permanently.

Change For The Future
One of my favorite tapping/EvEFT applications is using it to insure that we make better choices and get closer to the life we really want to live. Here are two processes to positively impact our future. (These are far and away the most read articles on the site.)

Specialty Series
In addition to the regular articles and podcast on the site as of January of 2010 there is always a specialty series. These are a series of resources that go much more in-depth to one issue of many articles.

BONUS: My Personal Favorites
There are a number of resources that I have created that I am particularly proud of. Many of those articles can be found in the nine topic areas above. There are a number of my favorites that don’t fit into one of those categories. Maybe, if you read between the line you will learn a little something about where I am in my life. Here they are in no particular order.