Tapping Q & A with Gene Monterastelli - Get the most out of tapping and EFT

My Goal Isn’t Believable (2 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 2 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Hans Gerwitz

One of the most difficult things about weight release is believing that we can achieve our goals. Often we are often carry the baggage of failed past attempts at weight release, a family history of carrying too much weight, and the fact that we have held the weight for so long it seem that is stuck and can't possibly be released.

In my own life there are few emotions that I enjoy less than the feeling of failure. Often when we fail we have to face the fact that we are incapable of doing something, we feel we have wasted time and effort, and that others are going to see us as less because of our failing.

Because of these fears it is very easy to see why it is so hard for us act. There is a part of us that sees the consequences of us failing. The way it protects us from feeling all of these emotions associated with failure is it creates situation where we self sabotage ourselves. In the short term it is keeping us safe from feeling bad about failing, but in the long term it is preventing us form achieving our goals.

This is not only true for weight release, but can also be true for any goal that we are trying to achieve. For this reason I think one of the most important steps we can take when we are tapping for a change in behavior or tapping to help us achieve a future goal is to tap for clearing the fear of failure.

Here are some tapping patters for some of the most common reasons and emotions associated with failure.

Fear Of Failing

I don't want to fail…failing is no fun…when I fail at any task…it points out my short coming to myself…and to others…when I try something and fail…it is a giant waste of time…I could be using this time at something I am good at…but I choose to know that failure is not inevitable…it is possible that I might not fail this time…I don't always fail…I also know that there have been times in which I have failed that have been good for me…I have learned valuable lessons in may of my failings…if I only try the things that I know are going to work out…then I am going to try nothing new…I am never going to grow…there are times in my life where I have tried new things…and they didn't work out the way I would have liked…but they did work out in a way that was beneficial for me…there are also many lessons that I can learn in failing…this does not mean I need to seek failure out…but I can takes this moments of failure and use them as a way to grow and develop…I also might surprise myself by what I am able to achieve…there are times in which I have underestimated myself…and what I can achieve…I give myself permission to try…I give myself permission to know it might not work out…but it is still worth trying…because if I succeed there is a chance for growth…and if I fail there is a chance for learning…both are good for me in the long run.

I Have Failed Before At Weight Release

I have tried to release weight in the past and have failed…I failed before and I am going to fail again…there is no reason to try…because it is going to be a giant waste of time…I might as well just be resigned to the fact this is the way it is…but I choose to know there are times in the past in which I did not succeed the first time I tried…there are times where I learned many lessons before I got it right…there were also times where I made the same mistake over and over again before I got it right…but I did get it right…there are many times I have tried in the past to release this weight that did not work…and there are lots of reasons for this…but this is a new time…and a new way…if I try and release this weight and fail I am still in the same spot…but if I try and release weight and succeed that is progress I want…so by trying I am not going to make it worse…but I do have a chance to make it better….I choose to learn the lessons from all the attempts in the past that did not work…and use this knowledge to move forward in a new way…I know that the frustration of not being successful and choose to take the frustration of failure in the past…and transform that energy into a motivating energy to make better choices…I it no longer beating me up for the past…but now becomes my greatest cheer leader and encourager…moving me forward in a way that will help to breed success

Everyone In My Family Is Over Weight So I Will Be As Well

Everyone in my family is over weight…it is just how we are…you can't fight your gene pool…some people are just over weight because that is how there body is made…I have seen many family members try and release weight in the past and failed…therefore there is no hope for me…but I choose to know there is more to weight than genetics…there are whole groups of people in my family who have choose the buy into the same world view…and are creating a situation which makes it ease for all of them to continue to hold the extra weight…this does not have to be my way…there are other parts of my life in which I have choose an different path than the rest of the family…we are not all exactly alike…by choose to release weight I am not dismissing or abandoning my family…I am still part of the family…I am just choosing my own way…maybe my choices will model for the rest of the family that this sort of transformation is possible…just because it has been this way for my family doesn't mean it has to be this way for me…I know weight is more than just genetics

My Goal Is Too Big

There is no way I am going to achieve my goal…because it is just too big…it would be one thing if I was trying to release much less weight…but I am so far behind there is no way I am going to catch up…it is too late because the goal is so big…but I choose to know that weight release it not for the short term…to create a change for my entire lifetime…I am not only effecting today…but am effecting my whole life…this is process that is going to happen little by little…as much as I would like to release all this weight all at once…it is much healthy for me to release it a little at a time…it is safer for my body to release weight in a natural way…because I can't release it all at once I don't need to worry about releasing it all…I have satisfied in the fact that my goal in the short term can be much smaller…as I achieve each of these smaller short term goals…I will be working to my long term goal…by working to my long term goal in small ways…it becomes much more achievable…therefore my long term goal is not too big…because it is something that will take time…but will impact the rest of my life.

In part 3 of this series I interview Catherine Poole about the association of specific emotions and our problem areas.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #24: Fear, Anxiety, Safety, and Freedom w/ Rick Wilkes

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Writing a description of an interview with Rick Wilkes is always a difficult task. On the surface there is the topic at hand for the interview, but when we are chatting things move more much far afield into deep issues of healing and well-being than just the topic at hand. In this interview we talk about the spectrum from feeling completely and irrationally unsafe to complete and total inanition. Anytime there is resistance to change it is really important to ask “Do we feel safe making this change?” In the interview we talk about a number of ways of framing this question to make is more accessible for every issue. In addition to talk about extreme fears and uncomfortable situation we talk about finding space that is safe to heal and what true healing means. This is not just about eliminating fear, but being in a space of feeling alive in every way.


Rick Wilkes

Guest: Rick Wilkes, LMT

Contact Info: thrivingnow.com, Rick@Thrivingnow.com, 1-304-284-0711 or 1-888-222-3856

Bio: Rick Wilkes is an EFT practitioner based in Morgantown, WV. Over the last six years Rick has worked with over 1500 clients. He works regularly with individuals and with his Thriving Now Groups.

Here's what one of Rick's loyal clients says: “Working with Rick Wilkes both privately and on team calls has helped me greatly to release the past, move more confidently into the future, and mostly to be more joyfully present in the now. Rick’s open-hearted broader perspective, amazing intuition, and great sense of humor always help me to get right to the core and effectively reframe whatever issue I have. Listening to him work with others has helped me to get in touch with stuff I didn’t even know was there and inspired me in my own work with others. It is a blessing and honor to work with such a master.”
Links & Resrouces From Episode:

Making It Safe To Heal With EFT/Giving Ourselves Permission To Heal (part 1 of 10)

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[Note: This is part 1 of a 10 part series on using EFT/Tapping for weight release with a new article or podcast being added every 10 days. The complete series can be found @ weight release series.]


photo by Dan Dickinson

Our body/system does not have an agenda. There is nothing that our body/system does unless it believes it is the best thing for us. There are times in which the body/system is making a choice from misinformation, but it is only providing the information that it thinks is going to keep us safe.

For example, lets look at a fear of public speaking. When we have a fear of public speaking it is because the system thinks there is great danger in public speaking. If we are in a situation where job promotion is based on our ability to speak in public this does not look like the system is protecting us. Instead the fear is hurting us.

In this case the system might fear, “If we speak in public everyone is going to see how stupid we really are. Every time we open our mouth in public we do something stupid. They are all going to laugh.”

Because the system is holding this belief it believes keeping us from speaking it is keeping us safe. The problem is in this case (like most limiting beliefs we have) it is keeping us safe from something that is not a real danger.

Because the system believes there is a danger in speaking is public there is going to be resistance to letting go of that fear of public system. The system sees that if we let go of the fear of public speaking (which is a defense mechanism) we are then going to end up in unsafe places. The system believes it is unsafe to heal this belief because we will then put ourselves in an unsafe situation (speaking in public in this case).

It becomes much easier to heal this fear of public speaking when we are able to recognize (on a system/subconscious level) that it is safe to heal. This is an easy task that can be achieved easily (as we will see) by tapping.

When the body is carrying extra weight the system almost always believes that there is a reason for holding the weight. On the level of looking at physical symptoms as metaphor, extra weight is a prefect metaphor for not feeling safe in the world. The extra weight is a shield or a mechanism to keep others away. (I have heard this from countless clients when we do deep parts work.)

Our natural state is to be fit and healthy, therefore the system has to be working overtime to be holding the weight. In this case it is clear the system sees the weight as being needed and therefore believes that it is unsafe to release the weight.

The first step in any weight release program is let the system it is safe to heal. Here is how I would tap to start this process:

My body is holding extra weight…it is doing this because if feels I need the weight…it also feel that I will be unsafe…or the world will be unsafe…if I release the weight…my system thinks I am going to be unsafe…the body is working really hard to keep this weight…because it wants me to be safe…I recognize how hard the system has to work to keep this weight…I am happy my body is willing to work so hard…but I know the tact it is choosing isn't the best for me in the short or long term…by recognizing how hard the body is working to keep me safe…I don't need to keep doing the same thing…right now I am speaking to the part of me that is keeping the weight…I let it know and my whole system know that is it safe for me to heal…I am worthy of this healing…the world can be a safe place for me…I can thrive in the world in a safe way…and release this weight…the shield of weight can be changed in to a more effective way of protecting myself…the weight isn't keeping me safe…I know the body is trying to shield me…but extra weight is not the best way to keep me safe…it is safe for me to heal and release this weight…because in this process I am going to find the true issues that need healing…they extra weight is a symptom…it is part of my system calling out to the need for deeper healing…because I am aware of this face…the weight has done its job by letting me know there is deeper healing needed…by walking down this path I am going to move forward in many areas of my life…which is what I want…and am worthy of healing the weight…it is safe for me to move forward…part of the reason it is safe is because I am not doing to do it all at once…this will be bit by bit…I know my system wants what is best for me…I want the system to know I appreciate all the work it is doing for me…and I want the system to be more effective in its work…one of the ways this is going to happen is by letting this transformation to happen…in a safe and healthy way…it is safe for me to heal the issues of this extra weight

In part 2 of this series we will look at when we don't believe our goal is achievable.

Would you like to work with Gene one-on-one with your weight release? Here is the current weight release special.

Pod #23: Getting To The Root Of A Current Issue w/ Tania A Prince

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One of the most difficult parts of using Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT)/tapping effectively is in trying to figure out the root cause of the emotions we are currently feeling. Although we can often guess that a past event might be relevant it is difficult to be certain. In this podcast Tania Prince explains part of the process she calls Deep State RePatterning which can safely give us access to information about a past event held in the subconscious mind, allowing us the opportunity to do transformational work with that information.


Tania A. Prince

Guest: Tania A. Prince EFT Master

Contact: web @ eft-courses.co.uk, e-mail @ contact page

Biography: Tania is an EFT Master (one of fewer than thirty worldwide). She has extensive experience of using EFT with clients and has worked on a vast range of issues, including fear of public speaking, blushing, panic attacks, success coaching, phobias, depression, addictions, anxiety, weight management, agoraphobia and serious illnesses, etc. She works from two clinics in Cheshire, England as well as working with clients throughout the UK and internationally via the phone. Her work has been featured on television and radio shows both in the UK and abroad. She presents regularly at major international conferences and is a TAT Professional Trainer.

Pod #22: Tapping Insiders Club – Ask The Expert

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Each month the Tapping Insiders Club does an “Ask The Expert” interview where they pose questions from their members to a tapping practitioner. For the month of December I was asked to field these questions. In this interview Jessica Ortner asks me questions from total tapping beginners to questions from practitioners.

Music used in this podcast from stefsax and panu moon